EEC 412: Unlocking Empathy - What the Deaf Community Taught Me About Inclusion, with Maria Gallucci

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Excellent Executive Coaching – EEC 412

"Unlocking Empathy – What the Deaf Community Taught Me About Inclusion"

Guest: Maria Gallucci
Host: Dr. Katrina Burrus
Date: December 16, 2025

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Main Theme

This episode centers around lessons in empathy, inclusion, and communication derived from Maria Gallucci's unique upbringing as the hearing child of deaf parents (a "CODA" – Child of Deaf Adults). Maria shares how her experiences in the Deaf community shaped her worldview, career, and leadership philosophy. Together with Dr. Katrina Burrus, she explores actionable strategies to foster inclusion and connection in business and society, especially for executive coaches and leaders.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Maria’s Upbringing: Bridging Two Worlds

• Background as a CODA: Maria grew up as one of six hearing children to deaf parents, with American Sign Language (ASL) as her first language.
• Learning to Speak: She learned to speak around age five, aided by TV and school counseling ([02:18]).
• Language and Culture: ASL was their family’s primary mode of communication. English—learned later—sometimes posed word order challenges, similar to those found in Spanish or French ([02:38], [03:05]).

  “Even now to say, I’ll say things backwards, because that’s how we do it in sign language.” —Maria ([02:38])

2. Lessons in Empathy and Inclusion

• First-Hand Witness to Exclusion: Observing her parents’ struggles with exclusion inspired Maria’s steadfast resolve to ensure others never feel left out ([01:53]).
• Inherited Empathy: Communicating through sign language heightened empathy and emotional connection.

  “I always want to make everybody feel included and not left out or disregarded.” —Maria ([01:53])

• Patience as a Practice: Sign language requires patience and full explanations, an approach she brings to all communication ([05:37]).

3. Navigating Social Settings and Communication Dynamics

• Comfort in Deaf Community: Maria describes herself as significantly more comfortable, extroverted, and relaxed within Deaf environments ([04:16]).

• Stuttering & Communication: She stutters in spoken English but not in sign language, reinforcing her sense of ease in the Deaf community ([03:45]).

• Bridging Communication Styles: She notes that direct, terse responses can feel brusque or isolating to Deaf individuals; warmth, context, and emotional engagement are vital ([06:22]).

  “We want to hear that someone’s listening to us and someone’s understanding what we’re saying... you have to say hi, say how’s your day?... make them feel like they’re being seen and heard.” —Maria ([06:22])

4. Building an Inclusive Business (ASL Realty)

• Turning Empathy to Enterprise: Maria founded ASL Realty, connecting Deaf and hard-of-hearing clients with ASL-fluent real estate agents nationwide ([07:20]).
• Designing Deaf-Friendly Spaces: Understanding that Deaf clients require open-concept homes for visual communication guides her business model ([08:31], [09:07]).

  “Anytime I have any of my events, I make sure that there’s no walls separated. I make sure it’s just an open space so everybody can communicate...” —Maria ([09:07])

5. Practical Communication Advice for Working with the Deaf Community

• Tips for Hearing Individuals:
  • Make direct eye contact.
  • Touch the shoulder to get attention.
  • Use texting or apps if you don’t know sign language.
  • Communicate patience and willingness to try ([09:48]).
• Assistive Technologies: From apps that transcribe/translate to video relay services for live interpreting, technology now offers crucial bridges ([10:26], [10:54]).

6. Evolution of Societal Inclusion

• Historical Challenges: Maria’s parents faced discrimination and inadequate support, such as lack of interpreters at important meetings ([11:25]).

• Progress in Accessibility:

  • Laws now often mandate interpreters.
  • Greater public awareness and technological advances have dramatically improved communication and opportunity ([12:44]).

  “Now we have interpreters at concerts. We have interpreters at big events, on the news… Technology and awareness have changed a lot from then till now.” —Maria ([12:44])

7. Personal Growth and Resilience

• Navigating Multiple Cultures: Maria’s dual fluency gave her not only language, but cultural agility, heightened non-verbal awareness, and resilience ([14:07]).
• On Connection Over Volume:

  “Hearing audience can learn empathy by realizing, like, communication isn’t about volume, it’s about connection. And I think that goes with every culture in every language. We just want to connect with the other individual beyond languages or signs.” —Maria ([14:57])

8. The Importance of Visibility and Expression

• Visual Cues are Critical: Coverage with sunglasses blocks vital facial expressions, making communication difficult ([15:11]).

  “You need to see their expressions and you need to see their eyes or their face... you see a lot with people’s eyes.” —Maria ([15:11])

• Multitasking and Interpreting: Years of switching between talking and signing made Maria adept at simultaneous listening and communication, but she still finds it hard to speak and sign at the same time ([16:20], [16:29]).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “I always want to make everybody feel included and not left out or disregarded.” —Maria ([01:53])
• “Sign language, I’m a lot more comfortable signing even in a group setting. ...I don’t stutter when I sign.” —Maria ([03:45])
• “It builds trust and it builds connection...” —Maria, on the power of sign language ([04:40])
• “You have to be nice... you have to say hi, say how’s your day? ...make them feel like they’re being seen and heard.” —Maria ([06:22])
• “I built ASL Realty... to connect with Deaf and hard of hearing clients so they understand what they’re doing.” —Maria ([07:20])
• “Communication isn’t about volume, it’s about connection.” —Maria ([14:57])

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Timestamps for Important Segments

| Timestamp | Segment/Topic | | --------- | --------------------------------------------------------------------- | | [01:03] | Maria’s upbringing; childhood as a CODA | | [01:26] | Early lessons in empathy and connection | | [02:18] | First language experiences; learning to speak | | [03:45] | Comfort level in Deaf vs. hearing communities; stuttering | | [04:40] | Sign language’s impact on trust and connection | | [05:37] | Communication patience and inclusion | | [06:22] | Adjusting communication for Deaf clients; teaching staff empathy | | [07:20] | Launching ASL Realty; business designed for Deaf accessibility | | [08:31] | Deaf-friendly home design | | [09:48] | Practical communication tips for hearing people with Deaf individuals | | [10:26] | Assistive tech and apps for Deaf communication | | [12:44] | Societal evolution; increased awareness and support | | [14:07] | Personal growth, resilience, and lessons for hearing people | | [15:11] | Importance of facial visibility and expression | | [16:20] | Multitasking and challenges interpreting | | [17:08] | Introduction to Maria’s book: "Raised in Silence" |

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Guest’s Book

• "Raised in Silence" by Maria Gallucci
  • Personal stories about growing up in the Deaf community
  • Communication tips with the Deaf community
  • Available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Apple, Google, and raisedinsilence.com ([17:54])

  “It’s just about being your authentic self... teaching awareness and being inclusive with other cultures and other communities.” —Maria ([17:08])

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Key Takeaways for Leaders & Coaches

• Empathy is a practice honed not just by listening but by actively creating inclusion.
• Communication is more than words: patience, visual cues, non-verbal connection, and willingness to adapt are vital.
• Building organizations and environments (physical and cultural) that value diverse communication styles unlocks trust and engagement.
• Technology and assisted tools are now available to bridge many divides—use them intentionally.

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This episode is highly recommended for executive coaches, leaders, and anyone interested in authentic communication, inclusion, and the lived experience of bridging cultures.

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Transcript

[A]

What could we learn from the deaf or hard of hearing? Maria Carucci is in a perfect situation to share with her her learning, given that her first language was sign language. Both her parents were deaf, yet five of her siblings could speak perfectly as she could. So what can we learn? To hear and to listen better from her experience. Let's listen to Maria Gallucci. Welcome to the excellent executive coaching podcast. I'm your host, Dr. Katrina, and today we have Maria Galuchi. But before we start, I want to thank our sponsors. Thank you very much. And Maria, tell us a little bit how you were raised because it's very interesting.

[B]

Yeah, thank you so much for having me today. And I was raised a child of deaf adult. So I was raised as a coda and both my parents were deaf and there's six of us kids and we all were hearing. And so we were raised with the deaf and hard of hearing community.

[A]

So being raised, like you say, raised in silence, what lessons did it teach you?

[B]

I think it taught me to have good communication and connection with people because we sign. So we are always connecting, I think through our expressions and our emotions and everything. So I think it taught me how to be more, have more empathy and make sure people are included.

[A]

So more empathy. Okay, so give us an example of how it developed your empathy.

[B]

I think that seeing my parents struggle in communities and struggle because they couldn't hear and always feeling like they were left out and not included, it was always my mission when I was little. I'm never going to make another person feel that way. So I always want to make everybody feel included and not left out or disregarded.

[A]

So you mentioned that your first language was sign language.

[B]

Yes, ASL is my first language. I didn't speak until I was probably five years old. And my parents always told us that we learned to speak through the TV or counseling at school.

[A]

Oh, I see. And how did they feel that they had six children that could speak fluently? Was it ever an issue?

[B]

No, there was never an issue because it was our normal. It was our first language. And then I think that that's why they put us in counseling to make sure that we would. Or speech therapy, I guess it what is what it was. And then just to make sure we knew how to communicate. Right. Because sign language, we also do things backwards like Spanish and. And those languages where English. So even now to say, I'll say things backwards because that's how we do it in sign language.

[A]

Yes. And that's the same with Spanish and French. It's different. It says that some things could be perceived backwards.

[B]

Yes, exactly. Yeah.

[A]

Okay. So that you had to do lessons, but you said all your sisters and brothers could speak fluently.

[B]

Yes. Yeah. We all know AASL was our first. All of our first languages, and we all know how to speak English as well, but it was our second language language.

[A]

And you also mentioned that you're more at ease with sign language. So tell us how you were with other people that are, you know, deaf and when you're socially with hearing people.

[B]

So I've always, even when I was a kid, I was always friends with my parents. Friends. Because sign language, I'm a lot more comfortable signing even in a group setting. And I actually stutter. And so I went to, you know, speech therapy for stuttering, but I don't stutter when I sign. And so I've always just been more comfortable in the deaf and hard of hearing community more than I am the hearing community as well.

[A]

I say. So you're more at ease. You mentioned also that you're more extroverted and.

[B]

Yes. Oh, yeah. I'm more on the shy side when it comes to, like, speaking or being in a public environment if they're hearing. But I'm completely at ease. And it's like my world when I'm in the deaf culture and the deaf community. It's all I know and it's. It's my number one go to because I feel so much more comfortable in that world.

[A]

I see. Interesting. And tell us how you've leveraged the fact that you can do sign languages.

[B]

I think that it gives you connection and it builds trust. And so I feel like when you're in the culture of a different community, like LGBTQ plus or any community that is that they feel like they're an outsider. And so for me, I just feel like it made me have more compassion and more connection towards different communities, so they would never feel not included or left out.

[A]

I see. Yes, you mentioned that. And what you notice when you speak in sign language compared when you speak in, you know, English would like, you know, where everyone can hear. You mentioned that when you have with a community of sign language, you're more at ease. You say you don't stutter at all. And what else has it given you in communicating with people? You mentioned also that you're more tolerant.

[B]

Yeah, I'm more patient. And then I noticed that if I feel like they're not understanding anything, like, I don't get impatient, I just explain it over and fully so they'll understand it. Where I think like sometimes at the hearing world they'll get impatient and get frustrated or whatever, where I feel like I have patience to actually like, make sure everybody knows what either signing or knows what they're doing in order to make them feel more comfortable.

[A]

So how do you communicate differently? You mentioned your assistant that she communicates one way and you had to correct her in the approach she had with people with sign language. Could you share that with the listeners?

[B]

Yeah, because she would give like, direct answers and just like very like on the spot, like one sentence world where we want to hear that someone's listening to us and someone's understanding what we're saying. So I'll always explain everything in detail, even throw in some emojis where she was like answering them just direct. And they, they would get like, their feelings hurt. And so I want to make sure that no one's getting their, their feelings hurt because of a way somebody is communicating with them. So I always had to tell her, you have to be nice on these. Like, don't be direct with them. You have to say hi, say how's your day? And things. Like to make them feel like they're being seen and heard.

[A]

Oh, I see. It's like almost that they've been sort of isolated so much that you have to make a special effort to make them feel integrated. Develop the trust.

[B]

Yes. Yeah. Like hand holding. Like they just want to feel like someone's there for them.

[A]

I see. And tell us how it's affected your business.

[B]

75 to 80% of my clients are actually deaf or hard of hearing in that community. So I saw my parents struggle at 12 years old when they went to go sign papers for a house that they were buying. And they had no interpreter back then, so it was just the closer. And they were reading the papers and they had no idea what they were reading. And they, because, like, when we sign, we, we like get things a different way to like, it processes a different way in our brains. And so I jumped in and started interpreting for my parents at 12. And I always thought to that day I'm never going to have somebody not understand what they're signing. And so I built ASL Realty, which is a nationwide real estate company where I find agents who know ASL to connect with deaf and hard of hearing clients so they understand what they're doing. Because if you're going to a house or anything and they walk in, you have to have a deaf friendly house. So the kitchen is always usually open to the living room so they can communicate back and Forth if their friends are there for dinner. And a lot of people don't know that if you're not in the deaf culture. And so I just try to find agents who know that and know how to communicate with the clients.

[A]

It has to be face to face too, so they see everything.

[B]

Yeah, yep. So because there's some houses where they're like, it's like choppy is what we call it. So the kitchen is separate from the living room, which to us is not a deaf friendly house. So we always try to find them where the kitchen is completely open to the living room or the dining room so they can all communicate.

[A]

Fascinating. Yeah, yeah, very interesting. So you've built your business with a, you know, people that are deaf and then you understand even how the house has to be constructed so that they can have a facility of communicating.

[B]

Yeah, exactly. It's gotta be very open. So because you can't yell at them across the kitchen, they wouldn't hear. So you have to like have them there so they know that, that they're in there. And anytime I have any of my events, I make sure that there's no walls separated. I make sure it's just an open space so everybody can communicate and everyone can see each other across the room to talk to them.

[A]

So what advice would you give to someone that is hearing, that has no experience with deaf people? What would you advise them to better communicate with them? I mean, to touch them or not or look.

[B]

Yeah. So look directly at them when you're talking to them. And they can. We always text them like so. Well, I, I obviously know sign language, but if I send one of my agents that don't know sign language on a showing, I'll have her, she'll like talk into her phone and then show them the text message and that's how they'll communicate. And that's all they want. They just want somebody just to try with them. And they obviously can write too. You can bring a notepad or pencil, but it's always better to talk directly at them. Just touch their shoulder so they can turn around. And so that I think. And there's a lot of apps too out there that interprets them back and forth.

[A]

What kind of app interprets. Because it's physical. The hand?

[B]

Yeah, I think it's called corilla or credenza or something like that. And so you talk into it and then they go back to them and then they like text back and then so you just go back and forth on your phone. So you talked back then but they have that now.

[A]

Oh, I see. But that's great. So you talk into the phone and gives the sign language and then you show it to them. Is that it?

[B]

But they'll have to, like type it back and then just show them, like the text.

[A]

I see.

[B]

Yeah. And then now we have the video phones too, where there's an interpreter on the other side and they call the deaf person or the hearing person and then they talk between each other. It's called video relay service. So technology has come far than it was when we were growing up.

[A]

So tell us how your parents. Because you said you have five siblings and yourself six kids.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

How did they, you know, manage to find a job and, you know, take care of their six children? Because that's a lot.

[B]

I know that's a lot. I always told him they only had six kids because they were deaf. They couldn't hear us. Be crazy. But my dad was a mechanic, so you don't really need to hear to do the mechanic parts. But back then they weren't very deaf, friendly, supportive people because my dad would go to the SEALS meeting and they would have no interpreters there. And so it's a very underserved community. And I think that they've changed some of the laws now to where they have to have an interpreter at the meetings. But back then they didn't. And there's not a lot of opportunities for them than the hearing rules. So they. I feel like then it's just. Just my opinion, they get discriminated a lot because they can't hear and they think that they can't do that job or they can't do this, but they can't. They're just like us. It's just a different form of communicating.

[A]

So how did he learn the mechanics? By observing other people, Is that it?

[B]

Yeah, he did go to college and everything. So he just. My parents were in a deaf boarding school and so that's what they did back then. They would send them to a boarding school and so they learned things from a college that was deaf friendly.

[A]

I see. And so how you mentioned that today, it's so much easier. Tell us a little more about the evolution of how the society has integrated them more.

[B]

Yeah, I think it built more awareness. And that was. My purpose of the book too, is to. Because we're still learning and we're still. I think the deaf world is getting more known and I think people are being more inclusive with them. And my purpose was to build awareness and build connection and bridge the gaps between the Deaf and hard of hearing world and the. The hearing world to know that we're all the same and we're all equal and they can do just as much as the hearing world can do. So I think that back then we had TTY is what they were called. And right now we have video relay services where you can actually see somebody talking instead of typing on a TTY where it just would give you the, the names. And now we have interpreters at concerts, we have interpreters at big events on the news. And back then they didn't have any of that stuff. So I think technology and awareness has changed a lot from then till now.

[A]

So it's going in a good, good direction.

[B]

Yes, for sure.

[A]

Yeah. Very interesting. And what do you think that it's developed in you, besides tolerance, which you've mentioned several times? What it has developed in you that by being able to communicate in this language of sign language and in speaking, you know, where people can hear you.

[B]

I think that it's given me strength and resilience because I did have to go between two worlds. And it's like speaking two different languages, but it's also not just a language, it's like a culture. And so I think that it was just bridging the different cultures and the different ideas and thoughts that we had with the deaf and hard of hearing community. I feel like it's a different kind of listening. And you watch your hands more. I notice body language a lot more. And I can read lips. Not all of them can, but I actually can. And so I think it's just taught me that hearing audience can learn empathy by realizing, like, communication isn't about volume, it's about connection. And I think that goes with every culture in every language. We just want to connect with the.

[A]

Other individual beyond languages or science.

[B]

Yes. Yeah.

[A]

Huh. You said also it's hard for you to communicate or harder with someone that has sunglasses. Explain why.

[B]

Yes, because I have to see them. And so I always, I always make them take it off because I think with sign language and growing up, you need to see their expressions and you need to see their eyes or their face. And so for me, it's really hard for me to communicate with sunglasses on because I can't read them and I can't feel them. And I feel like you see a lot with people's eyes. And that's why we were always taught to look at people in the eyes when you're talking to them. Cause number one, I think it's respect too. And I think it makes you feel like you have a connection with them and you're reading them.

[A]

But when you read the lips, it's hard to have contact with the eyes. Cause you're looking at the lips.

[B]

Yeah, well, when I'm communicating in English or in, like, speaking, I have to see their eyes. But when we sign. Yeah, we sign just with the hands. So we're looking at their hands and their. Their face. So it's like a multi. I can multitask very well, and I think it's because of that I can carry on a sign language conversation and listen to another conversation next to me. So I. I can actually, like, carry two complete different conversations.

[A]

They're like an interpreter. Yeah. That's when you've integrated the sign languages so well that you can do two things at the same time.

[B]

Yeah. Do you know what I can't. What's hard for me to do, though, is sign and talk. I have to sign it and then I'll interpret. I'll tell them what. What they're saying. Where interpreters actually, they're taught to sign and talk at the same time because that's what you're supposed to do. But I have a hard time doing that. I have to sign and then speak. What I was just explaining. Or they have to talk. I can hear someone and sign that. So I can listen and sign at the same time, but I can't sign and talk.

[A]

I see. Interesting.

[B]

Use my voice.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, very interesting. Well, tell us about your book so our listeners can hear and they can follow up.

[B]

So my book is Raised in Silence, and it's. I have been working on this for close to 15 years, and it was just my life stories about growing up with the deaf culture and. And it's got tips in there and how to communicate with the deaf community. And it's just about being your authentic self. And I think it's teaching awareness and being inclusive with other cultures and other communities. And that was. I think that's why I wrote it, because I wanted people to be aware and to know that love is love, and we all just need to, like, just try with one another.

[A]

Wonderful. What's the name of the book?

[B]

Raised in Silence.

[A]

Raised in Silence. Yes. Thank you. And where can people purchase it?

[B]

It's on all book platforms, so it's on Amazon, Bart, Barnes and Noble, Apple, Google, and if you go to raisedinsilence.com they'll have links in there to buy the book. And I was. I write a top new release within the first 24 hours.

[A]

Wonderful. Thank you so very much, Maria.

[B]

Thank you so much for having me.

[C]

Thank you for listening to the Excellent Executive Coaching Podcast. You can subscribe to all Future [e-mail] join us each Wednesday to learn more about the latest trends in leadership techniques and bring your coaching to the next level. To learn more about Dr. Burris CEO mastermind, use the contact form@Excellent Executive Coaching.com.