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A
We want to be at our best performance when we're with a client or with a patient. But what happens if we are affected by their negative circumstances or about their pain and we begin to feel what they're feeling within our body? Well, if this happens long term, we could burn out, especially when we work very hard. So what can we do in these circumstances, whether we have clients or patients? Let's listen to Helen Malinowski, who's a specialist clinician and an expert in burnout. Welcome to the excellent executive coaching podcast. I'm your host, Dr. Katrina Bireus and today we have Helen Malinowski. Welcome.
B
Thank you. I'm so happy to be here. I'm so happy to be here. Before we dive in, I just want to take a moment and just say that I really appreciate all of the work that goes into these shows. I know that they involve a lot. Every single show involves a lot. And you've been putting a lot out and these conversations are great. So I would just invite listeners, if they haven't already, to hop online and give you a review because that's how, that's how we find you, by having five star reviews. So I'd invite listeners to definitely go do that.
A
And I appreciate that. That's very nice. This is a passion of mine to meet interesting people like you to invite them on the show. And I've been doing it since 2013.
B
So the long running show. Yeah, a lot of great, a lot of great topics that you've covered.
A
Thank you so much, Ellen. So look, you're a clinician, so I'd like you, since this is a podcast on executive coaching, to define the difference between being a clinician and an executive coach.
B
Right. So a clinician we are, well, we work under a professional license. For example, I am a licensed independent clinical social worker. And our licenses are, we have a. Many of us have degrees in social work or counseling or psychology. And the focus is really working on mental health struggles as opposed to executive coaching, where you're working more with how a person shows up in their job and in their role. And there, there could be elements of, and there likely are elements of family history and patterns and relationships. But the focus is not on the mental health of the leader, the executor that you're coaching, rather, it's how they show up in their job.
A
Exactly.
B
Yeah.
A
And so if I can add, is that executive coaching, it has the business aspect and the personal. There are different types of coaches. You have divorce coaches, life changing coaches. But this executive coaching has the business Element to it.
B
Yeah, exactly.
A
Okay, so thank you for our listeners to really underline the difference. So tell me what you say. Clinicians often burn out, even though they love their job. So tell us what is the most strainful aspect of being a clinician?
B
I would say one of the things that. I'm a therapy practitioner primarily, most of my client work has been with people who have trauma, who have been with people with chronic health conditions, addiction. And one of the things that we're sitting with day in and day out are really difficult stories that people are experiencing in their own lives. And they come in and they talk with us and they share. They share things that most people don't hear, you know, unless maybe you're watching a really scary movie. Right. And we're hearing it day in and day out, hour after hour. So I think one of the things that happens with clinicians is that we find over. Over time, those stories build up in our own nervous systems and in our own psyche, and they become harder to let go of at the end of the day, harder to shed from our experience. And so we'll see things like burnout happen. We'll see things like secondary trauma or vicarious traumatization. These are also things that are experienced by ER professionals and first responders and police officers. Basically. It's this idea that when we're consuming other people's trauma, even secondarily, it has an effect on our nervous system and our ability to stay regulated and present in our work and in our personal lives.
A
So give us an example of the symptoms that the clinicians have.
B
Yeah, so the symptoms that. Well, so I can tell you that my experience, I find this really interesting because we are professionals in this field, and we work with people who have trauma, and we work with people who have stress and difficult lives. And yet some, sometimes we don't recognize it in ourselves. So my experience was that I. I didn't notice that I even had burnout until it was called out to me by another professional. I was sitting in a. I think it was about 2020, and I was sitting in my primary care doctor's office, and we were talking about how things were going. And this is a professional who's. Who's been in the medical field for a long time, who I've worked with professionally, happened to also be my primary care doctor. And he's asking these questions, you know, how has your mood been? How has your sleep been? And I was reflecting that, yeah, I've been a little bit more on edge. I've been a little Bit irritable, I am not sleeping well, I'm tired. And I remember him looking at me and just saying, helen, you know that these are all signs of burnout, right? And so it took someone else saying, your irritability, your short temperedness, your tiredness, your feeling of being disconnected from life, those are all symptoms of burnout. One of the things that I hear from people that I work with, I will hear things, they'll come to me and they'll say, I thought I found the right field for myself. I don't love this anymore, I don't want to do this anymore. And it breaks my heart because we need more people in this field, not fewer people in this field. And I do believe that there are ways I've experienced myself, there's ways to come back from burnout and, and there are ways to prevent burnout.
A
So. Okay, let's go. To prevent and to come back from burnout?
B
Absolutely. So preventing burnout is. It's like, in some ways it's like I'm gonna. It's like going to the gym to take care of your body or going for runs or going for walks to take care of your body. It's that you don't just realize you're out of shape and suddenly you start going every single day and working super hard. You're gonna get sore, you're gonna get tired. It's not gonna be sustainable. So it' developing small little habits that are protective to your nervous system. And some examples of these can be taking micro breaks between sessions. If you're a leader, if you're a coach, it could be, you know, I'm getting off of one call and I have 10 minutes or five minutes before my next call and I'm going to stand up. Because that was just stressful. That was heavy. A lot was coming in. I'm going to stand up and I'm going to move my body around, I'm going to shake my arms out. Maybe I'm going to go outside and get some fresh air and put my feet in the grass. So those are some little micro habits that you can start to weave into your day. I would also say staying connected socially. I know one of the things that I talk a lot about is the importance of community as a protective factor against burnout. That when we have connections with people who we can actually be ourselves with and who we can talk about the things that are troubling us with, then we have a resource that we can lean into that we're not doing this alone. We're not carrying the heaviness of our experience all by ourselves. And that community can show up in so many different ways. It can show up through friends. I had a cup of coffee yesterday morning with another colleague I don't know very well in the field, but we've crossed paths, you know, for over a decade. And she reached out and asked if I wanted to meet her for coffee. And we had to reschedule a couple times because, of course, we're really, really busy. And if you're listening, that probably completely tracks with. With other people's experiences.
A
Exactly.
B
And yet we sat down and it was such. Such a feeling of just, I can talk to you about what I do, and you can talk to me about what you do. And, you know, if you're listening and you're a coach, this may sound like your experience. You might not be able to go home and talk to your partner about your day because they might not get it. Or you might not be able to talk to your family about it because they might not get it. But other coaches are going to get it and other clinicians are going to get it. And so just having that cup of coffee, that hour and a half of sometimes talking a little bit about work, but not entirely talking about work, it carried me throughout the rest of my entire day. And I had a long day yesterday, and I'm still thinking about it this morning. So those community connections are really important.
A
So basically to prevent is to do micro stops in your day when it's something that's really heavy, and start to institutionalize it so that it's a habit. And then the best way to come back is to stay connected to a community or a colleague that understands and what happens. It releases some of that tension, I gather.
B
Yes, it does. It does. Our nervous system is, in terms of. One of my models is somatic practices and of taking somatic practices, which are traditionally taught as ways to work with people who have trauma. But we take those somatic practices and we apply them to our own nervous system as a way to be protective. And one of the protective things that we talk about is something called our social engagement system. Stephen Borges in the Polyvagal Theory talks about social engagement, and that is a buffer against stress. It's a buffer against stress and strain and difficult circumstances and trauma.
A
So for the listeners, explain what somatic is, and in a very concrete terms and give us some examples, and then we'll see what you mean by social engagement.
B
Sure. So somatic is based on the term soma, which means body and Somatic practices are practices that support a person in going inwards and connecting with their internal experience. So there's a term called interoception in soma in the somatic world. And interoception is feeling into what's happening. For example, I can feel my heart racing, or I feel my stomach is clenched, or I'm feeling tension in my jaw, I'm starting to develop a headache, or my eyes are hurting. So these are all signs that there's activation, there's stress, there's tension in my.
A
Body, and so it's becoming aware of it. And then once you're aware of it.
B
What happens once you're aware of it? You can start to lean into strategies that allow for a little bit of letting go or a little bit of integration. Sometimes it's developing awareness of patterns. One of the things that I will talk with clinicians about, again, for listeners out there, if you think about. And this happens even in executive coaching, right? This happens in almost any leadership role. There might be certain meetings or certain clients that you're walking into a session with and you notice, maybe you notice it when you first wake up in that morning, that morning that there's a feeling of dread for the day, or that you're going into that session, you're getting yourself organized and you just have like a pit in your stomach, or you're starting to develop a headache. Recognizing these body signals, these somatic signals that your body is sending, you can be a way to start making decisions about how you want to structure your time and how you want to spend your time. It's okay if you have a couple of difficult meetings a week or a couple of people that you're working with that make you feel really stressed and activated, but you can't have it be your entire week.
A
So when you feel that, for example, first there's an awareness, then it's to lean into it, and then to apply these micro times where you release the energy consciously. Is that what you're saying?
B
Yes, exactly. And very intentionally if you are having these, these meetings or these sessions that are, that are difficult for you to utilize strategies. In my world, we say things like grounding and orienting. So utilizing strategies like very intentionally pressing your feet into the floor, very intentionally noticing the support of the chair either under your sit bones or behind your back, very intentionally looking around your space or looking out the window and finding something that's comforting to look at or soothing to look at, and allowing your body to experience a feeling of being supported and to experience really Taking in a space that is safe. I might be having this challenging interaction, I might be going into this really difficult conversation and yet I can lean into the supports that I have, even if it's just my chair to help carry me through that in a way that's less. I come out of it less stressed and less tense.
A
So you're with a client that is having a very difficult trauma. It's beginning to integrate into your body and you're feeling your stomach tighten and your shoulders tighten. So if one first step is to take awareness that this is happening and then in a micro minute or so try to put yourself in a safe space, would that be Yes, I think.
B
That that's a really concise way of describing it, really. It's to say I'm aware that my body is having a reaction or a response or activation related to the content that's being presented here. I will say that sometime. Sometimes it's tension, sometimes it's a knot in our stomach, sometimes it's just a feeling of fogginess or sudden tiredness that I know I just had a cup of coffee and it's 10 o' clock in the morning and I had a good night's sleep last night and I shouldn't be tired and I shouldn't be foggy. But there is something about the space that I'm sitting in that is weighing on me in a way that's causing my nervous system to start to shut down.
A
Ah, very interesting.
B
Yeah. And again, I always ask people, and so if you're listening, I always ask people to think about maybe particular meetings that you've had where you've noticed something like that and what was it that was going on in that room and how did you stay present when that heaviness came over you? Very similar strategies. Movement, you know, readjusting your seat, focusing in on your breath, clenching. You can do a little kind of micro muscle clenching to get some activation back in your body, looking around, connecting with your seat. These are all ways to help you stay present, even when there's a lot of. Either a lot of stress or strain in the room, or so much stress and strain in the room that everyone's starting to check out, check out.
A
So I'll give you a coaching example because I think this is very revelant for coaches as well. I was coaching a CEO of a hotel and I liked this lady very much. I could have been her friend, but she was my client and from what she was saying, I could see that she was going to be fired. And My body started to be anxious, feel it. And I was losing my objectivity because I was sort of drawn in. So what I did was stand up, go to the ladies room, drink a glass of water, and then go back in. And in that other state that I transferred to, which is more objective and a meta level, I could be much more helpful to her than rather being too involved and grasped in. Into her energy. So what you're saying applies to coaches as well.
B
It really does. It really does. And I would say that those are really good strategies. Moving your body, giving yourself a little bit of a break. Sometimes it's harder when we're online because it's not as easy to just say, I need to go get a glass of water. I need to stand up and take a break. Sometimes it's easier when we're in person to be able to do that. The other thing that I would just be curious about is after that meeting with her, how were you feeling after?
A
It was okay because I. I was much more effective in supporting her. I was frustrated because I was trying to bring her to a point that she would realize what the situation was, but I didn't tell her. And then the next session, she came in and said, I'm going to be fired. So it's also a respect. You can see things because you're sort of in meta level. But to have her come to the realization. But she wasn't ready either. So there's a. Maybe I'm not as good a coach as ever, but, you know, you have to leave people time to face something that's very difficult. And sometimes, you know, it takes time.
B
Sometimes it takes time, and sometimes there's. We're not going to be able to help everybody in the way that we initially would like to be able to help them. Sometimes it takes sort of reframing what that help looks like. And how do I show up for them in a way that they need, because the circumstances are out of both of our control right now.
A
Right, right. And respect the timing of the other person to be. Things are. We're not living the situation, they are. So it's harder for them, put it that way. But, you know, on the other hand, for our business, we need to have empathy, but too much empathy can be dangerous and less effective for the client. Of course, you call them patient, right?
B
Well, I call them clients. I call them clients.
A
Okay.
B
Yeah, I try. I lean kind of away from the medical model. I like to call them clients. It's interesting that you talk about this idea of, like, how Much empathy do you need versus when is it too much? When is my empathy going to start to be harmful both to me and to the client? It's an interesting tightrope that we sometimes find ourselves walking because if we want to be able, we want to be able to meet our client, we want to be able to join with our client so that we can be there with them and walk alongside them holding a container that allows them to grow and change and develop. But we don't want to merge with them. We don't want to get to a place where we're taking on their experience or they're taking on our experience. So there's this boundary that I think we're always navigating, both as clinicians and as coaches. I think that there's a really strong parallel there.
A
In this case that I just mentioned, I would have liked her as a friend because we had a lot of connection. So I was sucked in. Into the situation, but I was not as helpful because I'm too involved. So I think that when the shift came it you really feel the shift. So you can be more objective, more strategic in the way you ask questions and everything, so.
B
Exactly.
A
I think it's also different between being a friend that wants to help and a professional that wants to help. We've learned to stay a little bit in the meta and not be too have empathy but not be absorbed by it.
B
Exactly, exactly. I think there's sometimes people will say, but I have great friends who are going to give me good advice. Why do I need a therapist? Or why do I need a coach? I can talk to my, I can talk to my mom about this or I can talk to my husband about this. And you're. You just nailed it. It's a different relationship. It's a relationship that has a little bit more objectivity and, and training around how to be objective and how to ask questions that are exactly. That inspire self reflection in a growth kind of way that we aren't all organically able to ask those questions. So.
A
No, I agree totally. Also comment on the social engagement again because that's how that has helped you from coming back from a burnout.
B
Absolutely. So one of the signs of burnout for a lot of people actually is a withdrawal from social interaction, that life feels too busy, I'm overwhelmed. I don't feel like I can show up for my friends or show up for my family. And that withdrawal can actually kind of compound. It's like when you're depressed and you withdraw, it becomes almost more depressing. In some ways it compounds that your experience. So one of the steps that I actually, I found myself running a lot during this time period. And yeah, it was Covid and I had little kids and I needed a break and I was working too many hours and all of the things and I was like, I'm just going to go for runs, I'm going to clear my mind, I'm going to feel better. And I did. At some level it helped me. But there was a point at which I realized this isn't exactly what I need. I'm getting some of what I need, but I'm not getting all of what I need. I'm not, I'm not spending time with people that I can just talk to and enjoy my time with. So I actually reached out to some people I knew who I knew liked to run and I said, would you like to meet me at 6am on Thursday morning and we can all go for a run together? And that turned into what is now I think three years. We've been doing this for three years, meeting in the mornings and going for runs. And they're not therapists. One of them is a coach. So it's been great. Yeah, it's just been a wonderful space to be active, to be connected with other people who are living life and to sometimes talk about work related things and sometimes talk about parent things and sometimes talk about life things. And that's been very powerful. So I think this, you know, we have so many. Think about your face and how many muscles you have in your face and how like there's all the different expressions you can make and how those different expressions affect how we feel. You know, sometimes we feel a thing and then our face changes. Sometimes our face, we put our face into some sort of like, you know there was a study where they had people bite pencils. Yes. When you bite a pencil, do you remember this? You make a smile and like in your mood changes. So our social engagement system is connected with our evolution that we are, we're designed to be in relation with other human beings. Our entire nervous system is designed to be in relation with other human beings. So that is a very protective factor.
A
Just so if someone is a very depressed and is isolated and then you ask them to be more social and they say no, I don't want to do it. So how do you bring them around? I know that's a difficult question in a few minutes, but any insights, any insight?
B
Depression is really complicated to work with. I think it's not as easy as a medication that's going to fix it. It's not as easy as just talking about it. It's something that is very heavy in our bodies and it really weighs us down. Anybody that's experienced depression knows that it's, you know, I can make all the best intentions in the world to, to reach out to someone or to follow up with an appointment or to get out of bed or take a shower. Do you know all the things they talk about like behavioral activation is going to help with depression. Get up, make your bed, take a shower, eat a good breakfast, drink a lot of water, call a friend. That can feel impossible when it feels like you're walking around with 100 pound blanket on your shoulders. So it's okay to be kind to yourself and it's okay to start really, really small. And I definitely think that those are, you know, if you are experiencing depression and you're not already meeting with a therapist, I really strongly recommend that you do because that is a relationship that can be very helpful to you and very supportive to you. I will say the other thing that happens with depression is that we can be really hard on ourselves because we're not functioning the way society says we're supposed to function. And the people in our lives can be really hard on us because they don't understand why we're not as productive as we should be or engaging as we should be, or taking care of ourselves in the way they should be. So there's a lot of compounding factors, But a therapist can be really helpful just in starting in a space where there's understanding and there's not judgment. And they're supporting you in finding your own self compassion so that you can slowly start to move it through it in a way that feels safe and accessible.
A
So you also work with addiction?
B
I do, yes.
A
Is there a particular approach that you use?
B
Well, I work with addiction in the sense that I work with trauma. And when we're working with trauma, we're also working with addiction a lot of the time. And it might not be a substance use that we're. It might not be a substance. That is the thing that a person's addicted to. It could be, could be relationships, it could be gambling, it could be food, could be exercise. Shows up in a lot of different ways. I fundamentally, I'm working with trauma. So I'm working with helping a person be. Build capacity to be with discomfort and to be with discomfort in a way that allows for experiences to reintegrate into their, you know, bodies and memories and minds so that they don't carry the weight that they used to carry or have the impact that they used to have. I don't know. I wish I could rattle off the exact statistic off the top of my head, but it's there is most people with addiction have trauma.
A
Yes, I would imagine so, yeah. And they're trying to self medicate, maybe.
B
And they're trying to self medicate. Yeah. Another common parallel actually is adhd, which is interesting that a lot of people with ADHD have addiction. And again, it's this sort of a way of coping with being uncomfortable in your body and uncomfortable in your mind and not quite feeling like you fit into the world around you.
A
Very interesting. Yeah. So how long have you been in this field?
B
Oh boy. I studied psychology in college and I wouldn't say that I went directly into social work, but I worked in residential mental health for a while. I have been in exclusively in private practice for about eight years, but I've been in the field since 20 and gosh, that sounds like a long time. Right now that's 16 years. That's 16 years in various different roles, working in hospitals, working as in the clinical director roles and. Yeah, and one of the things that I've realized, I have a private practice, I have a group practice that I've been building as part of my recovery from burnout. Recognizing that I needed community, I needed connection, I needed people. And so I thought, I'm not the only clinician out there that needs connection and community and people. Let's build a practice that's founded on these principles of collaboration. And now I started about five or six years ago and we have a very strong group of almost 30 clinicians who work with a variety of different needs. But the foundation of our practice is this idea of community. It's this idea of collaboration and connection. We're all going out to dinner tonight. Well, a bunch of us are for like for a post holiday gathering because we don't get to see each other very often. But getting together is important. It's an important part of how we stay connected to our work and how we stay integrated.
A
Is there a process when you meet or is it more social than anything?
B
Tonight's social. Tonight's social. Throughout the week though, we have supervisions, we have group supervision and we sit down, we talk about cases, we consult, we have individual supervision, we have a whole system of supports layered in to what we provide to our providers because it's necessary. It's a job that can be. You're one on one with clients in a room and it can feel like you're alone in that and you don't have to feel like you're alone in that. So that has been really, that has been my big work over the past five or six years and it has led me to recognize how many clinicians do not have this, do not have a built in support system or tools to create an environment for them that meets their nervous system where it's at. Yeah.
A
So unfortunately we're coming to the end of our podcast. Where can people get a hold of you?
B
Sure. So they can find me at Somatic Informed Therapies on Instagram and they can find me on my website, somatic integrationinstitute.org and if you go to somatic integrationinstitute.organd I'm going to spell this out for you, I'll also send it to you. Get your five hours back. So get dash Y O U r five the number dash h o u r S back. You will get an energy audit. So any listener here who wants to go find that what you're going to do is you're going to get an energy audit that will help you look at your how you work throughout the week and what areas you can reclaim some of your time as a self protective measure. So I love for people to access that. Yeah.
A
Okay. Get your 5 hours back hours back.
B
And I'll send you the link.
A
Okay, great. I'll put that in the notes. Okay. So thank you so very much for sharing your expertise. It's most appreciated.
B
Thank you so much for having me on.
A
Bye bye.
B
Thank you for listening to the Excellent Executive Coaching PODC. You can subscribe to all future podcasts at ExcellentExecutiveCoaching.com join us each Wednesday to learn more about the latest trends in leadership techniques and bring your coaching to the next level. To learn more about Dr. Burris CEO mastermind, use the contact form@excellentexecutivecoaching.com.
Podcast: Excellent Executive Coaching: Growing Your Business and Enhancing Your Craft
Host: Dr. Katrina Burrus PhD, MCC
Guest: Helen Malinowski
Date: February 17, 2026
This episode explores the critical issue of burnout among clinicians and outlines sustainable practices that enable professionals to thrive in demanding roles without sacrificing their well-being. Dr. Katrina Burrus hosts Helen Malinowski, a licensed clinical social worker and expert in trauma, who shares practical strategies for recognizing, preventing, and recovering from burnout. The discussion draws parallels between the clinical and executive coaching professions, emphasizing the necessity of self-awareness, community, and boundary-setting.
[01:45–03:10]
"The focus [in coaching] is not on the mental health of the leader...it's how they show up in their job." — Helen [01:59]
[03:30–04:52]
"Those stories build up in our own nervous systems and in our own psyche, and they become harder to let go of at the end of the day..." — Helen [03:52]
[04:52–06:40]
"I didn't notice that I even had burnout until it was called out to me by another professional." — Helen [05:10]
[06:45–10:00]
"That hour and a half of sometimes talking a little bit about work, but not entirely...carried me throughout the rest of my entire day." — Helen [08:51]
[10:00–13:08]
Grounding: Press feet into the floor, notice chair support, focus on safe environmental features.
Short, intentional pauses to reset after challenging sessions.
"It's to say I'm aware that my body is having a reaction...and I can lean into the supports that I have, even if it's just my chair." — Helen [14:47]
[18:36–21:45]
"We don't want to merge with them. We don't want to get to a place where we're taking on their experience or they're taking on our experience." — Helen [20:05]
[21:45–24:26]
"Our entire nervous system is designed to be in relation with other human beings. So that is a very protective factor." — Helen [24:10]
[24:26–26:40]
[26:40–28:15]
[28:20–30:45]
This episode offers practical, compassionate insights for clinicians, coaches, and anyone supporting others in high-stress environments—demonstrating that personal sustainability is both possible and essential for effective, long-term practice.