Ep. 386 - Creativity, Confidence, and Coming Home to Yourself: Inner Child Healing Part 2

Summary

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EXPANDED Podcast Ep. 386 – Creativity, Confidence, and Coming Home to Yourself: Inner Child Healing Part 2

Podcast: EXPANDED by To Be Magnetic™
Host: Jessica Gill (Chief Content Officer), with Lacy Phillips (Founder), therapist Janelle, and Dr. Tara
Release: December 19, 2025

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Overview

This episode is the second part in the series exploring inner child healing through the lens of manifestation, neuroscience, and psychology. The team dives into how reconnecting with various phases of your inner child—from preschool creativity to adolescent identity—holds the key to unlocking your authentic self, increasing your confidence, and ultimately becoming more magnetic to what you desire. They ties practical healing techniques to manifestation outcomes, and provide grounded, actionable advice on moving past childhood blocks that may currently be impacting your relationships, creativity, confidence, and more.

“What if your inner child actually holds the keys to your gifts, your magic, your authentic essence, your purpose in this season of life?”
— Lacy (00:20)

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Why Focus on the Inner Child?

• The Foundation of Manifestation
  • The phases of the inner child are directly linked to your self-worth and ability to manifest what you desire.
  • Reparenting your inner child allows you to reclaim creative expression, increase confidence, and regulate your nervous system, all of which are core to the “Return to Magic” challenge at TBM.

    “So much of that that our inner child wants to spend more time developing is actually the key … to being our most magnetic self.”
    — Lacy (00:49)

2. The Last Three Phases of Inner Child Development & Their Impact

(Following Part One, this episode covers preschool years (creativity & play), school age (confidence & competence), and adolescence (authentic identity & belonging).)

Preschool Years (Ages 3-5): Creativity & Play

• Importance of curiosity, play, trying different roles, and being celebrated for individuality.

• The “weird, quirky” child is often the most secure—a secure environment encourages experimentation and authentic expression.

• If safety isn’t present, creativity gets stifled:

  “If the environment’s not safe... there’s no creativity in play.” — Janelle (12:03)

• Modern Resurgence of Hobbies: There’s a cultural return to exploring hobbies for play’s sake—without monetization or performance pressure.

  “So many people... immediately made it a pressure cooker... instead of just play for play’s sake.”
  — Jessica (14:41)

Typical Blockers:

• People-pleasing and performance anxiety
• Loud inner critic
• Fear of standing out or making mistakes

“A big injury is the critical parent, where it’s like, ‘Well, you didn’t do that somersault right.’... and then that inner critic is so loud, and then it paralyzes them.”
— Janelle (18:26)

School Age (Ages 5-13): Confidence & Competence

• Developing resilience through mastery, learning from mistakes, and being recognized for effort, not just outcomes.
• Peer validation starts to matter, but security is rooted in self-worth, not comparison.
• Blockers show up as:
  • Fear of failure and imposter syndrome
  • Hyper-competitiveness and comparison, often stemming from parental expectations

“Cringe Mountain” Concept:
Adopted from Erica Maylett: you must go through discomfort and risk ridicule/failure, relying on your commitment rather than external validation.
“Don’t wait for the praise. Do it because you are committed to this, because it is aligned with you.”
— Jessica (25:18)

Adolescence (Ages 13-21): Authentic Identity & Belonging

• This is the phase for exploring identity, values, and sexuality, and learning to belong while keeping individuality.

• Core needs: Feeling safe to express differences, experiment, set boundaries, and seek meaningful belonging in peer groups.

• When earlier phases are ruptured, adolescence becomes a “sea of masks,” with intense pressure to conform or rebel.

  “…If a kid goes into high school and she’s like, ‘I’m good enough, I know I’m lovable,’... she’s going to navigate those. But if you’re walking in with ‘I’m not worthy, no one likes me’... you’re just going to receive, it’s just going to add on.”
  — Janelle (35:24)

• Rebellion & Delayed Adolescence:

  • Rebellion in teens is actually healthy if within a secure attachment.
  • “Delayed adolescence” occurs in adulthood for those who never tested limits as teens.

  “Usually kids that actually feel secure... they do press the limits and it’s actually good for them...”
  — Janelle (41:03)

Sexuality & Embodied Autonomy

• Healthy sexuality roots in an embodied ‘no’; children must feel from a young age that they can set boundaries around touch and affection.
• For those with trauma, the healing is about reclaiming a body-felt ‘no.’ Therapy and gentle self-guided work are encouraged.

“Our sexuality just starts... in non-sexual ways first and then... you’re just micro having these experiences... so when you know that you can say no, that’s when... there’s freedom in sexuality.”
— Janelle (46:43)

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3. Practical Reparenting & Manifestation Tools

• Deep Imaginings (DIs) and somatic tools: are recommended to revisit memories, acknowledge unmet needs, reinforce boundaries, and build self-worth. These tools are integrated in TBM's pathway programming, especially in the “Return to Magic” challenge.
• Revisiting old photos or memories can aid compassion and reconnection to lost aspects.
• Community support: Sessions with Janelle for personal or intensive trauma work.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Cultural Messaging:

  “All the universe wants from us right now is this phase. That’s all it wants. It wants us to be our most unique, fringe, authentic, gifted self.”
  — Tara (10:14)

• On Trend Resurgence:

  “This is the resurgence of hobbies... This is where you get to try on the hat, be the beginner, not be perfect at it, not need it to make money yet.”
  — Jessica (14:06)

• On Comparison and Self-Worth:

  “Their worth is connected to what they do instead of who they are... that’s where those wires get crossed.”
  — Janelle (28:51)

• On Adolescent Masking:

  “It was just a sea of masks. It was a sea of like, what is that person doing? Everyone respects them. I should be exactly like them.”
  — Jessica (37:12)

• On the Healing Journey:

  “You don’t have to go in and heal it all at once. You shouldn’t go in and heal it all at once. Just take whatever wants to metabolize bit by bit...”
  — Jessica (50:07)

• On Manifestation:

  “This is the foundation to manifest everything you want.”
  — Tara (51:38)

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Recommended Practices & Takeaways

• Reexamine early childhood and adolescence for unmet needs affecting current patterns.
• Use creative play as regulation and expression—release the need for utility or perfection.
• Approach healing in digestible steps; don’t force rapid progress, especially with deeper trauma.
• Embody boundaries and the power of saying “no” starting with small, nonsexual contexts if needed.
• If looping on the same block, consider professional support and somatic therapies for deeper unwinding.
• The more authentic and true to your quirks and interests you can be, the more magnetic you become.

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Segment | Topic | Timestamps (MM:SS) | | ------- | ----- | ----------------- | | Introduction & Inner Child Importance | [00:00–06:53] | | Preschool Years: Creativity & Play | [06:53–16:45] | | Blockers in Creativity & Play | [16:45–20:31] | | School Age: Confidence & Competence | [21:25–31:11] | | The “Cringe Mountain” Analogy | [25:05–26:53] | | Adolescence: Authentic Identity & Belonging | [31:31–42:42] | | The Role of Rebellion & Delayed Adolescence | [41:03–43:24] | | Sexuality, Boundaries, and Embodiment | [46:11–50:35] | | Integrating Healing and Next Steps | [50:35–54:15] | | Q&A and Additional Resources | [52:18–54:52] |

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Tone & Language

The tone is supportive, deeply authentic, and encouraging, layered with practical examples, self-reflection, and invitations for gentle exploration. The hosts’ language is accessible and occasionally peppered with humor, personal anecdotes, and affirmations of self-worth.

“You’re going to reclaim a lot of fun parts of you along the way, parts that are really, really magnetic and are going to help you attract in what you want as well and be happier.”
— Jessica (52:00)

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Where to Go Next

• Consider starting the “Return to Magic” challenge through the TBM Pathway, particularly if feeling stuck in patterns or seeking a fresh start for the new year.
• Explore session work with Janelle via wholenesscollectivetherapy.com for unblocking or EMDR/somatic intensives.
• Review your own childhood photos/memories, and gently acknowledge younger versions of yourself as you reconnect with lost gifts.

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Final Word:
This episode is an empowering guide to healing core childhood blocks, reclaiming your magic, and stepping into a more magnetic, confident chapter—grounding manifestation practices in neuroscience and real-life psychology for 2026 and beyond.

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Transcript

[Lacey]

We are continuing off to break down.

[Jessica]

The phases of the inner child.

[Janelle]

Yeah, you're starting to express and play with the world and try on a bunch of hats and see which one fits.

[Tara]

All the universe wants from us right now is this phase. This is the foundation to manifest everything you want.

[Lacey]

What if your inner child actually holds the keys to your gifts, your magic, your authentic essence, your purpose in this season of life? Today, we are going into part two of diving into all the inner child phases and how reconnecting and reprogramming and.

[Jessica]

Healing in those phases can lead you.

[Lacey]

To your most magnetic chapter. Right now, as a community, we are going through the Return to Magic challenge. This is where we are reclaiming the aspects of our authentic self through every single phase of childhood development. We're giving ourselves what we need. We're regulating our nervous systems. We're understanding what parts of self have we rejected, pushed down, not honored? Our play, our joy, our creativity, our passions? So much of that that our inner child wants to spend more time developing is actually the key to showing up, to being our most magnetic self, to manifesting what we desire. It's all interconnected.

[Jessica]

So today we have Janelle, who licensed.

[Lacey]

Marriage and family therapist, EMDR therapist, and Lacey, the founder of to be Magnetic, on where we're going to break down those phases even more and understand what blocks may have formed in those phases that could be pushing away your manifestations today and how to move through them in order to manifest. And starting today, we are opening up our new year sale, where you can join the pathway for only $12 for your first month and then lock in the sale price for the rest of the year of the membership, this will be the last big sale of the year. So if you have been getting the.

[Jessica]

Ping to join, if you've been feeling the call, if you want to do.

[Lacey]

The Return to Magic challenge, if you.

[Jessica]

Want to do our little manifestation ritual that we'll have in the pathway for the end of the year. If you want to access all of.

[Lacey]

Our dis and nervous system regulation and get the how to Manifest formula and.

[Jessica]

Work through the money Challenge, any of that this year.

[Lacey]

Now is your window to join the sale is officially open. You can check out the link in the show notes.

[Jessica]

If you want to stop repeating the.

[Lacey]

Same blocks and patterns you have all of 2025, and you want to step into next year fresh and grounded and regulated and clear and feeling truly safe within your body for whatever life throws at you, for whatever comes through with your big manifestations to really hold those big manifestations. This work is it. I am having so many profound experiences in this challenge so far. Members are saying this is like the most clarity, the most depth and healing that they've ever had. Especially doing this work for so long. It's just shaking things out in such a new way and building upon all of the layers of the unblocking that they've done through the years. I'm so excited to see what version of self turns out on the other side and just even the idea of being more deeply connected to myself, to my soul and letting that be my North Star and guiding me from that place. It's so feeling so good already. So come join us. The sale's going on.

[Jessica]

It's not too late to join. You can join the challenge at any time. It's going to be open into the.

[Lacey]

New year and let's have some magic this holiday season. Okay? Enjoy the episode. And now a word from our partners. If there is one product I could recommend that has been helping my skin.

[Jessica]

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[Lacey]

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[Jessica]

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[Lacey]

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[Jessica]

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[Lacey]

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[Jessica]

The sunspots by stimulating skin cell renewal.

[Lacey]

Boosting the collagen and improving my overall skin tone. And you can see results in just 10 minutes a day. I know currently my habit with it is first thing in the morning when I lay down for my di or a meditation.

[Jessica]

I'll pop on the mask.

[Lacey]

I do the 20 minute sett everything.

[Jessica]

At the highest level setting because I.

[Lacey]

Want the most out of it and I've only been doing it two or three times a week and I notice a difference Every single time. And Bon Charge was one of our sponsors for the how to Manifest Speaking tour. They gifted one lucky member at each spot a brand new Bon Charge red light toothbrush. I have been using it and my gums are thanking me. Red Light is extremely helpful in supporting your gums and nourishing them. And electric toothbrushes always feel like they get the deeper clean in your teeth. So if you are feeling called, I would 100% check out the Bon Charge red light toothbrush right now. It is currently Bon Charge's holiday sale. So you can receive a massive 25% off by just heading to boncharge.com and your 25% off code will be automatically applied to your order. So hurry and don't miss this massive chance to save big on your favorite Bon Charge products. And now onto the episode. Welcome back everyone for another episode of Expanded. We have Lacy and Janelle here again and we are continuing off to break.

[Jessica]

Down the phases of the inner child. What did we need there? What parts of our authentic self did we disconnect from? And what blocks may be percolating in those phases that are blocking our manifestation? So if you didn't listen to part one, go listen to that now. It's game changer in explaining all of this.

[Lacey]

And then let's go into the last three parts.

[Tara]

I really like these three parts before we fully, fully kick off because I feel like these parts start to get into our personal magic. That's what makes me really excited about the end of year challenge. The first two parts, all of them really matter, but the first two parts extremely matter when it comes to so many pieces that are important to our self worth. And I would say, right, all of them are self worth. But I would say those are like super crux to relation, foundational relationship, money, the whole thing. And I would say these last three parts get into that, like, playful what's our magic? What makes us so unique? What are our gifts? What's our fucking superpower? So that's what I'm excited to talk about.

[Jessica]

The other thing, that's kind of cool too, if you think about it from like a foundational standpoint. That one layer is building upon the next is if we had that secure sense of safety and trust within ourselves for the universe, if we felt like we could follow our autonomy, our know our boundaries, then it's like what builds on top of that, if those needs are met, then how do we have curiosity and play and creativity and tap into those gifts and connect with others from a secure place? Because we have that foundation that's rock solid, unshakable self worth. What else builds upon that which is so fun? This is also in the challenge. The embodiment exercises become really fun because they're less cocooning and rocking and all of those things, which is amazing for our nervous system and retraining our nervous system. It's more the fun games and stuff that you had as a child. So I'm so excited for this. Okay, so phase three, preschool years, three to five years, creativity and play. So this is where core needs creativity and expression. We get to follow our creativity, our curiosity, our individuality. It's celebrated, it's encouraged. We're free to play, pretend, imagine, explore ideas, ask questions without judgment or loss of love. Mistakes are met with gentle guidance rather than criticism. Emotions around creativity, excitement, frustration, pride are all acknowledged and validated. Our caregiver models curiosity, a sense of wonder, and their own authentic expression. So seeing caregivers or adults or peers around us that are embodying this authentic expression really, really helps us. Encourage to follow your authentic interests, play, contribute in ways that feel natural to you. Your love for who you are, not how you perform or achieve as you're exploring these things and that there's no pressure or comparison to other kids. At this phase taught empathy, cooperation, taking turns, trying to be patient and caregiver models playfulness, joy, initiation, and teamwork.

[Lacey]

This one's huge.

[Tara]

So big for our authentic selves.

[Janelle]

Yeah, you're starting to express and play with the world and try on a bunch of hats and see which one fits. I heard this was so funny, but I remember, I don't remember where I heard this from, but it was like, the most secure kids are the ones that are like, weird. They can be weird, they can be quirky, they can be cringy, and they're just, they're just playing.

[Tara]

Can we all just get there? Can we just get there? Because that's all we've been talking about, right? In podcast episodes in our book club. If you didn't get to catch that, go in there like, it's chock full. We'll link it below. It's chock full of information from Jessica and I about what's coming, coming down the pipeline over the next two years. All the universe wants from us right now is this phase. That's all it wants. It wants us to be our and building on this phase, but it wants us to be our most unique, fringe, authentic, gifted self. That's all it wants. Like, if you want to know how to super speed the next two years, getting everything you want in business, in love, in home, in. This is the spot. This is it. The more you can get comfortable in this. Like, I'll give myself as. As an example. I'm fucking obsessed with Victorian culture and knitting and all the, like, the craziest shit that nobody would think is that cool, but I own it. And, like, just for reference, like, in my substack, it just keeps growing and growing and growing because people want to see that authenticity. They want to be connected to that what is yours. This phase is going to help you reignite it, to remediate it, to understand it. It's so important right now.

[Jessica]

I mean, it's huge. If you think about how many places in your life or business that you say to yourself, well, we should do this. You've already disconnected from that part. How can we set the stage with the other two phases? To tee up this one, to finally feel safe. This is really so much about what the challenge is about. It's setting up every single phase to finally feel safe, to let this freak flag fly.

[Janelle]

You know, what's coming to me is the Sound of Music. Remember, you know, the Sound of Music? And they're all like these little soldiers, and they're all stiff and rigid and whatever. And then Maria comes in and it's like, they're, whatever, playing in the field, all the things. And she's like, you don't know your kids. Like, this one loves this, this one loves this. And she's going like, that's. That's what this reminds me of is like, if the environment's not safe, let's say that there was a dad with a temper problem, or if there's not safety, there's no creativity in play. So at this stage, there's an injury in this stage is there wasn't safety. There was a rigidity there. Maybe there was. There could be a number of things that came into play where this got stuffed, right? And so when there's safety, that's like so foundational that maybe you didn't get to explore these parts, parts of yourself. And so it's like, we talk about authenticity and identity. It's like a lot of people, if they had this, they go, oh, I know. I loved playing with this, this, this. I was into this, this, this. And you'll see aspects of the yourself now in those things. But if that. If that developmental stage got hijacked, you're kind of like, I don't know. Because there wasn't. I didn't get to try on all the hats to see which one I liked what actually resonated. And so I think like, as an adult now, it's like if you were. I don't know, I, as a kid, I loved rollerblading. Like, I'm not a. I did too.

[Tara]

I had that in junior high even like.

[Janelle]

Or like, okay, okay, awesome. But like, whatever your thing is now, if there's something that you're like, I really, I would have loved to just play with this, this, this, and it feels vulnerable now to try these things. Or maybe I would have been really creative. I just never, I never did art or I never got to express or whatever. The thing is to give yourself permission to be new and to be bad at it and to be whatever, but just a permission to play and just see. Does something resonate there? Does something resonate here? Because there could be so many beautiful things that come out that you don't even know. You don't even know that you connect to.

[Jessica]

This is the resurgence of hobbies. I don't know if you guys have been seeing this, but there's a big push right now where people are exploring fringe hobbies. That's the healing of this sector. This is where you get to try on the hat. Be the beginner, not be perfect at it, not need it to make money yet. So many people lean on this that they haven't reclaimed yet to immediately be their career path. And then they're like, why isn't it making money? It's like because you immediately made it a pressure cooker. You immediately made it a performance based thing instead of just play for play sake. One of the things I was pulling up yesterday reading about this phase was basically the importance for kids to play for play sake because it also regulates their nervous system and helps them process difficult emotions. If you don't feel safe to play, just to play and like close the book and leave it messy and not have it buttoned up and not have it perfect, then you are missing a huge outlet to regulate, to process everything going on in your world. Like, we need these things as human beings. I think about the thing Dr. Tara said Lacey, in the episode of how people made things beautifully in ancient, ancient times, the earliest of civilizations. And not for purpose. They didn't need to have it beautiful. They did it for the act of creating it. Because that doing it in and of itself brought something really important to them. That's this phase. I mean, it's so, it's so huge.

[Tara]

Yeah. Humans need beauty. That was such a big takeaway from that episode that we never. Yeah. Back then we. We did it because we need creation and beauty, not just survival. Right. Like, so this is the phase where you learn art, you learn to see beauty and imagine building and creating and worlds and everything. And so this is so. It's just so important.

[Jessica]

I'm even thinking too right now, collectively. Like, okay, if we're feeling that we're all really being called to this phase in particular of this creation and resurgence of this. If we're all imagining and thinking of a better world and better things and how that's going to look, we. What better medicine for all the turbulence of right now than this creative act of imagining a better future, a different way of living, detaching from rigid structures. Like, it's all crumbling anyways. So we might as well put our creative hats on.

[Tara]

Yeah. And be ourselves and like learn how to be ourselves. Our totally unique fringe selves. Yes. That is. That is the light through everything coming down the pipeline.

[Jessica]

Janelle, some of the blockers here. So performing people, pleasing a loud inner critic. A fear of mistakes, shrinking fear of visibility, suppressing obviously the creative play, procrastination. Like, what are some other things that you've noticed that really are. Like, if this wasn't developed, these are some other aspects still.

[Janelle]

The thing I'm thinking of is like, oh, let me please. My parent. Oh, my parent wants me. They're really into sports and so I'm not going to do music because my parents are in wanting me to. So even then, like, your. Your survival instinct when you were little is to get your parents approval. It was like psychological air and water. You needed that. And so there wouldn't have been a lot of space to do anything potentially outside the box of that. You wouldn't even had space to explore it. And you pick up that, like, really little. Really little. You're intuiting that like, that's not going to be accepted. And so it's more of the people that. And maybe they were in like a high, I don't know, religious culture or high. There could be a number of things, right. Where certain things aren't allowed to be expressed and played. So now it's reclaiming that. It's giving yourself permission to like explore and play and geek out on whatever it is you want and permission to explore it. So it's more the fact that they didn't even get to explore it. That's where I see the biggest road is that they didn't even give the per. They don't even have permission or space to even try anything. Or the critical parent.

[Jessica]

Another one.

[Lacey]

The big.

[Janelle]

A big injury is like the. Honestly, the critical parent one, where it's like, well, you didn't do that somersault, right? It's like, you know, really, there's so much high, high criticism. And then that inner critic is so loud, and then it paralyzes them from doing anything. Now, I would say those are the. The two kind of bigger ones.

[Jessica]

Do you see also when parents are caregivers or, like, adults in their sphere, shame others for their fringe things being like, a huge thing that happens here, where it's like they witness. Maybe they didn't try it yet, but they maybe were interested in it secretly. And then they saw their parents shame someone for it, and they're like, oh, shit, never mind. I can't do that.

[Janelle]

Exactly.

[Jessica]

Okay, big reclamation phase, guys. Let's really, really get into this one.

[Janelle]

I want to know what you. You guys were into when you were little.

[Tara]

All the things I like. Magic herbs, spells, all the stuff. All that kind of stuff. Yeah, the pretend all the time. Pretend acting out. Loved watching musicals. Like, very into beauty, arts, mysticism, nature.

[Jessica]

I. Whenever I go in the DIYs, the things that come up a lot. I loved going swimming in my grandma's pool and, like, making pretend worlds under the sea.

[Lacey]

And.

[Jessica]

And I was like, Ariel, or these were my, you know, my little fishes or whatever. I'd make my grandma sit on the step and be King Triton. Like, putting little scenes together. I remember trying to set up a fake hotel where I, like, would make my parents check in, and I'd have to, like, walk them to their rooms and take their order. And, like, I also thought being a waitress was, like, the coolest thing in the world. Cause my aunt, who was, like, young and cool, was a waitress. And I was like, I want a waitress pad for Christmas. Like, that was. My God.

[Tara]

Love it.

[Jessica]

So just like, wanting to step into worlds, pretend.

[Tara]

A lot of imagination.

[Janelle]

That's awesome.

[Jessica]

What about you, Janelle?

[Janelle]

Oh, my gosh. I was such a art kid. Like, I just was always coloring and drawing and painting anything creative. And then I was. So I would rearrange my shelves in my room. Like, it was like, I get excited, and I. This is like, me now with, like, designing my office. I'm like, I'm doing the same thing. Like, I loved design, like, in queer design. I loved being outdoors. And this is really funny because, you guys know, I grew up in, you know, a religious culture, so there wasn't a lot of permission to do any of that. But there was this one game that I loved to play. It was called Enchanted Forest. And it was so witchy. It was like the most little thing. And I loved this game. Like, loved, loved, love this game. So I'm like, you could see it even though.

[Tara]

Teddy.

[Janelle]

Yeah, it was the coolest game ever. I'm sure I, I probably saved it. Yeah, it was awesome.

[Jessica]

Okay, so our next phase. School, age 5 years to 13 years. Confidence and confidence. You guys got a taste of this with the competence di that we brought into the money challenge because it is so important, especially as it relates to money and career and developing your skills and what you can offer the world. But the core needs at this phase is competence and resilience. So support in developing your, your unique strengths, interests, growing mastery over time, opportunities to build your skills, solve problems, take on challenges at your own pace. Encourage to try, fail, try again and keep going. Seeing failure not as a stopping ground, but as just kind of like, okay, cool, like that didn't work, so let me try something else. Your mistakes were met with patience and guidance, not shame or comparison to other people. Adults modeled calm problem solving, offered warm, constructive feedback. Your effort was recognized, not just your completed product. And you're valued more than your perfectionism or your outcomes. You were accepted by peers as you started expressing this individuality, validation that your ideas and interests, contributions mattered. This is where my needs matter, my interest matters, my passion matters, and safe to explore new roles. So to be a leader in a group, what are you in a group setting and what kind of roles and identities can you take on that you don't have that criticism? I'm really about being loved and valued for who you are, not just what.

[Lacey]

You give and contribute.

[Jessica]

But without these needs met, I mean that sense of I have valuable skills, I can try something and not be good at it now. But if I keep at it, I know I can get better. Like an inherent sense of resilience. I feel like this is so vital in career setting and money setting. What other pieces do you see in this one, Janelle?

[Janelle]

I think about impact. I'm an individual self and I can impact and I can impact things. And I'm like, hey guys, we're going to play this now. Even like leadership, a little bit of like leadership kind of stuff too. So it's like impact. So we can see that we are, we have competency. So even like school age stuff, like I don't understand math, but I really try hard and I study and I get math and, and I can figure that out and I can do it. So it's more of the idea of, like, things come that I don't understand and don't know. But I. I have a belief in myself that I can figure it out and I can do it and I can make it happen.

[Tara]

It's like being able to take one step in front of the other, you know, which I see in our community. It's the people who are like, I've been doing the dis for so long and I have expanders, but my manifestation isn't coming. It's like, oh, but we can't take aligned action. That's where I see this rupture 100%.

[Janelle]

That's exactly it. And it's like, scary, right? It's like really vulnerable to like, take that step and make that, you know, whatever, call the thing, do wait, whatever, take that actionable step. There's like a vulnerability there, but there's also, you know, that competency, self worth that then develops after we complete the thing.

[Tara]

Yeah, so this is a lot of, like at our speaking tour in Austin, you know, where we talked about the Cringe Mountain. Because this is a really good example of anybody who's like, I keep trying a business, but I can't. You know, it's like I'm just thinking of those people who would be what they're experiencing in manifestation right now, having this end of year goal going into 2026, wanting to manifest their thing in career and or putting yourself out in dating. This is another really big one to me.

[Jessica]

Yeah. Courtney Johnson, who was our guest speaker at the Austin Stop, was talking about Cringe Mountain. So she adopted this concept from Erica Maylett, who describes Cringe Mountain. And basically the idea is that you have to climb Cringe Mountain to risk failing, to risk being disliked, for people to be like, what is she doing? That's cringe. I don't like that. That's weird. And to not pay attention to that and have an internal compass and resolve that you can keep going, you can move through this. You don't need their approval in order to keep going at it. And eventually, when you get to the top of Cringe Mountain, that's where people are like, wow, what she's doing is amazing. And all of a sudden you have praise and you get attention and you're making money off the thing. But until you fortify that commitment to the process, until you climb Cringe Mountain, you're not going to reap the rewards on the other side, if you're only taking one step on Cringe mountain and hoping to get all the praise immediately, you're going to stop doing the thing. And so the concept is, don't wait for the praise. Do it because you are committed to this, because it is aligned with you. It's authentic to you. It's your soul's passion. Like, commit to the process and commit to getting better at it over time. And eventually it will hit the point where you're flooded with your other manifestation results from it. But if you're just doing it for that external validation, you're never going to make any progress and get to the peak.

[Tara]

So if you're sitting there right now being like, oh God, that sounds really scary in every way, like dating in career, in your current job in entrepreneurship, that you have a rupture here. You need to spend some time on this. Based on what you're calling in in 2026 on this phase.

[Jessica]

If you're taking.

[Lacey]

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[Jessica]

Janelle, I'm curious your thoughts on is how an inferiority complex and comparison can come up here and where that person learns whether they're compared to peers or let's say they're in gymnastics and their parents are like be better than that person or do you see that person sing and that almost critical voice gets into them so much that they become hyper competitive or they're constantly judging themselves and their self worth based off of where Someone else is at. They can't really see themselves in relation to just their own path. Blinders on. I'm doing my thing. They're like, I'm only as good as XYZ around me. What happens there?

[Janelle]

I think it's more of the. They're picking up on their parents need to be the best in this sport or this thing or whatever. And so their worth is connected to what they do instead of of who they are. And you see that like especially like especially highlighted in like sports parents. But yeah, you can see when a parent's ego is not attached to their kids what they do, what their whatever.

[Tara]

Right.

[Janelle]

But when it is, the kid picks up on that and they're only loved if I look a certain way. I'm really good at academics, I'm really good at sport, whatever. The thing is. And so that's where that, that's where those wires get crossed right there. So in your DI's again you're giving your no, like we're just having fun. You just get to play. It's okay if you're not good at this, you're going to be good at something else. You don't have to be good at everything. Right. You're reinforcing your worth is in you and not what you do. And so just go have fun.

[Jessica]

And the lack of needing to compare or one up to someone else, I think too sometimes people like inadvertently do this with expanders that they'll be like, well they're better than me because they have this at this point point and that means I can't have it or they have some special thing that I don't have. And so instead of using that as the comparison like catch if that's what you're doing there, there might be a block about this where you're not even seeing your own gifts, your own way, your own path, your own timeline. You're so focused on that comparison piece and see the expansion is almost confirmation that there's something there that you need to embody. But now tune out and focus on embodying it instead of what the other person's doing. Inadequacy and self doubt can also form here. Fear of failure. Again, Imposter syndrome. Feeling like whatever they're at, they're like not the expert at yet. But I think this happens in career a lot too. And Courtney actually talked about this. But how if you are one or two steps ahead of anyone else in this subject matter, you have something to share and give back and teach so you don't have to be the ultimate expert to be doing something through that lens. You just have to be a little bit ahead of someone else to be able to give back and share and have value to. To share with the world. I think people get so afraid that they have to look a certain way.

[Lacey]

To be an expert.

[Jessica]

And that imposter syndrome really kicks in.

[Tara]

And I do feel like the whole expert thing is gonna have a backlash. I just like AI, just like filters. I think everybody's going to get kind of turned off by it all. So people are going to be more interested in somebody's uniqueness rather than I know it all.

[Jessica]

I think too, I forget where I was. Maybe Jenna talked about this, but how like the age in communication that we were in before with Mercury was in a phase of like the expert. And now recently it's moved over to the phase of. I think it's in Taurus. I want to say I could be wrong, but it's more about cozy comfort, nature, aesthetics, visuals, like all of that sort of stuff. And we're seeing kind of a resurgence of that on socials, which will be interesting how people market their businesses going forward with this shift. Okay, and then the last phase that we're going to cover in this challenge, phase five is adolescence. 13 years to 21 years. This is your authentic identity and belonging to. So this is where you have to feel safe to explore your identity, your values, your beliefs, and your self expression without shame or pressure, more specifically, peer pressure. Acceptance of who you're becoming, not just who you've been. Freedom to try on new roles, interests, esthetics, ways of being, support in developing your personal sense of morality, purpose, your inner compass. Safe to differentiate from your family, but also stay connected. So you can have a different opinion, a different religious opinion, a different political opinion, but still stay connected. You're kind of forming what your values are separate from the pack. And then not just parents, but adults and peers that model self respect, boundaries, emotional intelligence, and empowered sexuality. That's where this phase really starts to turn on, for lack of a better word. And the big piece here, Janelle, that I learned from you in this is the importance of, as you're stepping into your sexuality here, consent and no and really feeling safe to try something out in a sexual or romantic way. And then say, nope, I don't want. You know, I'm done. That's. That's as much as I can handle right now. And then backing out and then saying, like, okay, let's maybe go a little bit further and just almost like Similar to somatic work, like titrating into where your comfort level is with sexual self expression. So there's no shame there as well. And then this one's a big one. Belonging with peers while maintaining your individuality, belonging in healthy relationships, conflict repair, emotional honesty, navigating peer pressure. Lots of stuff in this one. But it's going to be much easier if all the other phases are secure because you have this strong base. And then you can go to all of your peers and family and all.

[Lacey]

This stuff and be who you actually are.

[Tara]

And I think that's like a really important breaker really quickly because I've always intuitively said 0 to 7, 14 if I'm being generous, right? So all the faces before like really build on each other for true, authentic, whole worthy self. And then it seems like this phase is the blooming phase. Like you had all of that so you can like bloom to be that magnetic you. Now let's just talk about a little bit what it looks like. I guess let's just get into it, right? Like what does it look like if those, all of those weren't met or ruptured here and there and blah blah, blah. Like my case, you're gonna go into this paramount, heartbreaking point of your life and hormones and socially and, and academically and you're gonna be a self worth mess, right? Like I was and then now going into like your 20s and on. So let's just have a conversation about that a little bit because I do believe everything before this phase in terms of subconscious projecting, self worth. Manifestation is so hyper key in order to really blossom into this third phase.

[Janelle]

Yeah, we go from needing our prioritizing, we need our parents, love and acceptance to now needing our peers, right. It like switches at that point, right? To peer acceptance and approval. And that's where if we've picked up all these different negative beliefs, I'm not good enough. I'm powerless and helpless. I'm not worthy, I'm not lovable. If we're picking up all that stuff that we picked in, we will go into our teenage years that are already so vulnerable and then we're projecting that out. So then, then we receive experiences that mirror that. It's like if you go in, if a kid goes into high school and she's like, I'm good enough, I know I'm good enough, I know I'm lovable, I know whatever, I'm a good person feels all those things, I have choices. Even if hard things come, like she's going to navigate those she's going to be able to metabolize those experiences, it's going to be okay. But if you're walking into high school, middle school with I'm not worthy, no one likes me, I'm not, whatever you're just going to receive, it's just going to add on. Those are the ones that have by far the hardest teen experiences.

[Tara]

So the big thing I guess I want to say to that if you're going into this and you're reparenting and quite frankly, anytime you're doing a di beyond this point with this information and knowledge, when we say like pull up a memory or whatever, a lot of things are going to come from the stage but then your subconscious is going to want to go to the earlier. So when we talk about like inner childs, everything, this is obviously still part of that. But truly the foundational stages are where like I think the real point of trauma began. And then it's like re traumatizing because you're already manifesting experiences based on your self worth and imprintation at this phase.

[Lacey]

Right.

[Jessica]

I think too about this phase for myself and I feel like this was the most dramatic phase. It's interesting. I think at the time I would have felt like I have it together. I know exactly. Like I would have probably told you that everything was good and it was just a sea of masks. It was a sea of like, what is that person doing? Everyone respects them. I should be exactly like them. I'll be accepted and then no one will bully me and like, okay, they hate me when I do that. Okay, I'll never do that again. Like I was just morphing into whatever I thought I had to be to be loved, accepted, all of the things. And I think for someone going through that they might feel similarly about this phase or about high school or middle school or all the things. But it didn't start there. And I think that is the most kind of eye opening piece is I'm like, oh, maybe I just had like a really challenging social dynamic at school. No, actually I would have had the supports that I needed. Had all those earlier phases been developed, I wouldn't have been so insecure. I wouldn't have felt like I had to become all these different versions of self. I would have been able to try out more creative things and see different sides of self. You know, did dye my hair black underneath for a while. So there was that, that phase of self expression. You know, I think for me one of the, one of the blocker pieces is if you have the either Rebellious part in this phase or the self abandoning part, the part that has no needs at all. Like totally morphs to everything or they're rebellious. And I was, I was actually very rebellious in my high school years. Like I, I basically thought I had better judgment about what I should do over my parents and whatever I wanted. I was like, I'm going to tell them what they want to hear, but I'm going to go do what I want anyways because I don't trust that they actually know the rules. Like I feel like I know the.

[Tara]

Rules better in the world. Better, right?

[Jessica]

Yeah.

[Tara]

It's this deeply unhealthy sense of ego. I feel in this stage, you know, that you're you, that you're used. It's because of like the hormonal surges, right? You have all of this momentum needing to project. But then if you have, or needing to direct, but if you have all of this rupture wounding programming, then you, you develop so many masks at this point. Like you're saying, Jessica, that you really are. And then you have yeah, this unhealthy sense of like mortality or of like immortality. And there's like so many pieces together that I think really follow you all through your 20s, to be quite honest.

[Jessica]

Until you wake up and do this work. And then you're like, oh shit, yeah, yeah.

[Tara]

Or you, you hit the real world, truly for real. And you're like, fuck, I'm not getting anything that I want. I'm rock bottoming. I'm. I have this one thing, but I'm not. My self worth is like through the. Why am I a doormat in every relationship that I think that's what. And the wake up calls start and it's so sad because at this stage in time, in the way like societal structure happens in the whole education complex and school complexes. But not only is it you, it's like you're being thrown, it's like an animal rescue. You're like being thrown into this pool socially. That's so unnatural compared to how we were prior to religion where we had actual villages and communities that work together, tribal, blah, blah, blah. But you're being thrown into this dynamic where every, everybody just has equal amounts of rupture and messes and blood. We're all just not annihilating each other in different ways, energetically, unconsciously, et cetera. It's so complicated.

[Janelle]

So the rebellious phase is actually a good thing. Right? There's a lot of crossover between toddler and teen as far as like testing limits and pressing against boundaries. And I've seen this so many times where clients that were like the good girl, that were very people pleasing, they suppressed a lot. They didn't press the limits. That those are the ones that later, you know, it comes out somewhere in their 20s and 30s and there's this kind of unexplored teenager in them that's now resurfacing in their adult years. Right. That didn't get to say no, didn't get to press back. Almost like a delayed adolescence for some people. And so usually kids that actually feel secure and there's no split of like you're all good or all bad and they feel they, their parents can hold their good and their bad, they do press the limits like they do. They, they do. And it's actually good for them to go, okay, you did this whatever thing and you're still loved and you're still good. And they, that they're still. The holding for their bad, you know, is like really, really important during this phase too.

[Tara]

Yeah.

[Jessica]

And then so for the embodied person in this phase, this is where if you had those needs met, you could go into peer groups, share your authentic self, see where things don't align with your values, be like, oh yeah, I respect your values, but they're different than mine. These are mine. At least these are mine. Right now I'm good. Not fall to peer pressure, not need to morph yourself into something else. Like just have like a self. Steady, strong conviction of self.

[Janelle]

So kids that have like a secure attachment from their parents, right, they're good and they're bad, all of that. This is where like peer acceptance matters, right? So they can detach, they can go. That doesn't align with me because they already have that security. The kids that don't have that security, they need belonging somewhere. So that's the ones that get sucked up into the bad peer group because they, they need it somewhere. So it's so hard then to individuate out of it even if it doesn't align with their values because they need belonging. They really need belonging.

[Lacey]

If you are walking into this season feeling burnt out, overwhelmed, exhausted, tested, triggered in love, money, career, relationships, all of the things or maybe just searching for clarity. You are not alone. It has been a massive year of endings, ego deaths and transformation cycles. And when that happens, it's always your inner child, your safety, your self worth, your nervous system that takes the hit. Most people don't realize this, but your inner child is actually the one who is quietly running the show. Your triggers, your relationship Patterns your blocks, the decisions you make, even the level of success you'll allow yourself to have all root down to whether your inner child feels safe. That is exactly why we created the Return to magic challenge. A 15 day manifestation challenge guiding you to reparent your inner child, reconnect with your magic and step into this new year as your most confident regulated magnetic self. This is how you will come home to yourself this season. Reconnecting with your authenticity, grounding your nervous system and truly understanding the patterns that are running the show that need to reparent in order to feel safe. Safe with all of the changes happening to us. You can access this challenge inside of our Pathway membership. If you are up for renewals, be sure to check out your renewal email or if you are getting the ping to join to Be Magnetic. Now is the perfect time because we have our big end of year sale going on where you can get 30% off your entire membership of the Pathway. So that means not only are you going to get this challenge, but you're going to get every single TBM workshop.

[Jessica]

Including how how to manifest inner child.

[Lacey]

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[Jessica]

So I guess the other piece that I would want to touch on here is the connection to body and autonomy and sexuality. And that piece because I think there's so much shame around sexuality which also connects to our creativity like Kundalini energy, but also feeling safe to express in your body, feeling safe to take pride in your body and not shame it for the way it looks, the way it moves, the way it functions, all of that stuff. What would a healthy embodiment of that look like?

[Janelle]

So the most healthy empowered sexual adults are the ones that are deeply connected to their. No, it's not just an intellectual no, it's in their body they have an ability to have an embodied no. They know that they can say no whenever, wherever, at any point of any circumstance. So how that develops is really actually, I mean our sexuality just starts. Develops really little where it's non sexual, but it's just our relationship to touch. I hug my friend, I don't want my friend to hug me. I hold my friend's hand, I don't want to hold. I, you know, it's just I want to sit close, I don't want to. It's just these little kind of things where we're feeling our own. Oh yeah, I like sitting this close to this person or I don't like sitting this close to this person. And we're able to honor that. So it starts in these very. Sexuality starts in like non sexual ways first and then in junior high, then it's like I give a little, you know, it's like a little peck and then I. And I don't. Or I. You're just like micro having these experiences and then you stop. Or it's like if some guy tries to french kiss you and you're like, I don't like that.

[Lacey]

Right.

[Janelle]

You can pull away and stop and it's still okay. And when you know that you can say no, that's when it's like, oh, I actually want to try a little bit more or I want to try a little bit of this. That's the heart of like where empowered sexuality starts. It starts with your no brief interruption.

[Lacey]

There's a quick trigger warning for anyone who has experienced any sexual abuse and wants to skip over a brief conversation on it. Check the show notes for the exact timestamps or you can skip over the next few minutes of the combo.

[Janelle]

A lot like for clients now that you know sexual abuse, really their work is to have not just an intellectual no, but an embodied no. So like autosomatic boundary work and so that they know that they can say no. So a lot of times you'll see this where it's like they didn't. There were maybe sexual abuse in their past. Now they're with a safe, loving partner and they're practicing no with their partner, even though they want to be with them. And so they're playing with what does it feel like to say no and still be loved in my no. And then after practice, after that kind of, there's a shift that happens. Oh, okay. My no can be respected. Then they're able to engage and stop. Engage and stop. And then eventually right. Get to really, there's. There's freedom in their sexual sexuality. So in the DI's going back to this phase, if somebody had some sort of sexual rupture, it's like absolutely feeling like no in your body and saying no and whatever you need to do to and play with it. Of what feels the most important empowering for you to say no. And I want to say too, and this is a little tricky. If you start, if you feel like it's too much and you're disassociating, just stop and take yourself out and give some yourself some self contact. Really kind of soothe yourself. Do not push through this. Like do not. And that's where I would say go get some. Go find a therapist that specializes in it that can help co regulate with you while you still continue to do this work.

[Jessica]

So huge.

[Lacey]

So huge.

[Jessica]

I think that's unfortunately for a lot.

[Lacey]

Of people that's going to be, that's.

[Jessica]

Going to be something that they're going to work through on some level. And so I think knowing that there's ways to. You don't have to go in and heal it all at once. You shouldn't go in and heal it all at once. Just take whatever wants to metabolize bit by bit over time. And knowing that how empowering is that? That you are reclaiming your. No, you are reclaiming it not only in your mind and your voice, in your body and that that is actually your most, I mean let me say the most powerful thing you can do.

[Lacey]

So that's huge.

[Tara]

Yeah.

[Jessica]

Okay. Yeah. I mean also here like lack of direction, not knowing your purpose, social anxiety, other body shame, like hiding your body, feeling shame around that, eating disorders, those types of things. Rebellion, self abandonment, shape shifting, identity confusion, all of those can kind of root here. But I think what people will find with the challenge is as they start reparenting all of the other phases, they can go back to this phase and they'll feel almost less distress over those bigger things because they're like, wow, I have the toolkit. I have this neural foundation that's starting to develop of security to self. I can actually metabolize these and like I don't feel as ashamed of that as I once did or I don't feel as judgmental towards my younger self or I. I actually see how that rebellious part was kind of badass and you know, like you can kind of reclaim those pieces.

[Tara]

I also like for anybody who's like oh, this just all feels so clinical and not as fun. This is the foundation to manifest everything you want. It just is and it's like it could not be more condensed, more lined with really impactful tools that's just going to move this energy quicker in order for you to start projecting out self worth in order to bring back in what you want.

[Jessica]

And you're going to reclaim a lot of fun parts of you along the way. Parts that are really, really magnetic and are going to help you attract in what you want as well and be happier. Yes. Well, thank you guys so much. Janelle, where can people find you? Because I'm sure people might need some extra help during this time.

[Janelle]

So sessions, yeah, unblocking sessions you guys are welcome to do. That's for anyone, wherever you are in the world, are welcome to book that. That's on my website, wholenesscollectivetherapy.com and there's a TBM tab and there's zoom sessions. They're an hour long. Make sure you put in your correct time zone because that's the thing. So put in your correct time zone and book those and I'm happy to support you.

[Jessica]

Yeah, I just saw someone at the New York speaking tour and she was like, I got the ping and I'm doing an intensive with Janelle. I'm flying out to San Diego. I can't wait. Like she was. So she's like, I'm just like, she's been stuck and looping on this one piece for so long and she's like, I really want to concentratedly work on it. So if you guys are also getting the ping for the more intensive one.

[Janelle]

Yeah, that's where we bring in emd, VR and somatic experiencing. So I don't do those in unblocking sessions, but I will do those in an intensive and we spend the whole day together and it's, it's really fun.

[Lacey]

So good.

[Jessica]

I'm so excited for you guys. So much magnetism on the other side. And I also can't wait to look up old pictures of myself through this phase as much as I can find them and just give a little love and reconnection as we're going through this too.

[Tara]

Yeah, agreed.

[Jessica]

Thank you guys. Bye.

[Tara]

Thank you. Bye.

[Lacey]

I hope you guys enjoyed that episode. And if you are getting the call to go in deeper to these inner child parts to learn, to regulate, to attend to them, to dive into your creativity more, to dive into your purpose more, it is the best time to join. And our big New Year sale is kicking off today where you can lock in the lowest rates of the TBM.

[Jessica]

Membership for the entire year.

[Lacey]

Your first month for $12 and then you lock in the sale rate on top of that for the rest of the months of the year. We cannot wait to have you as.

[Jessica]

Part of this community, manifesting, healing, regulating.

[Lacey]

And just bringing in so much magic. In 2026 you can access all of the Return to Magic Challenge where we go through every single phase of Inner Child with brand new deep imaginings, really nourishing, grounding, somatic tools to help you regulate, to help you tap into your magic, to reclaim your joy, and to really, truly manifest from the most aligned place in this season. Check out the link in the show notes to join with our sale and we'll see you in there.

[Janelle]

Sam.