← EXPANDED Podcast by To Be Magnetic™
EXPANDED Podcast by To Be Magnetic™
Ep. 391 - Why Journaling Actually Works: Ritual, Healing, and Clarity with Tara Schuster
01:00:56
Are you overthinking…or under-processing? What if reflection was the missing piece to becoming (and receiving) everything you’ve ever wanted? Today, Tara Schuster returns to the Expanded Podcast to explore one of the most impactful healing modalities there is: journaling. Her latest book, This Journal F*cking Works, offers a science-backed and historical look at why journaling is so powerful, woven together with humor and Tara’s own journey of rewriting internal narratives to break free from toxic, repetitive thought loops. It’s an invitation to start “DMing with your soul” and to open up neural pathways of self-understanding, emotional processing, and healing. Jessica and Tara unpack why ritual matters. Not everything is about maximizing habits, productivity, or “doing it right.” Real transformation often comes from giving your brain space to process lived experience: to be honest, imperfect, and fully human. With this outlook, journaling becomes a bridge between science and int...
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- [00:00]
Tara Schuster
Journaling was really the first thing that ever helped me. It is actually the foundational building block that allows me to have a life that I love. By diving into the story, by making it my own, by being really intentional, I could have a life I love. There is a delight in getting to know yourself.
- [00:20]
Jessica
Have you ever dmed with your soul? And by that I mean journaling. Journaling is such an intricate practice with to be magnetic with inner work, with healing work, and it can actually rewire your brain and your neural pathways just by processing information in the written form. On today's podcast we are welcoming back Tara Schuster, an accomplished TV executive turned best selling author, author of By Yourself, the Fucking Lilies, Glow in the Fucking Dark and her latest book, this Journal Works, the Science, Ritual and Art of Journaling. In today's episode we talk about how you can utilize some of the science backed methods to journaling to find a practice that relates to you so you can start to pull back, process your thoughts and actually reconnect with your soul. Journaling is a practice I've done for many years in many different forms. And it actually was during the Return to Magic challenge I realized how much I was leaning so heavy on the deep imaginings and not doing as much of the journaling. And one thing we talk about a lot is how when you put pen to paper, when you're doing the actual art of writing something down, it crosses so many different pathways in your brain that allows you to process your thoughts more. We talk about this more in the episode, but personally I noticed after each section of doing this recent challenge that no matter what inner child phase I was in, I had this moment of I have more to say and I don't really know what form to express it in. So I wound up giving myself the journal prompt of what else needs to come up and what else do you feel like you want known about this topic? And so for each of the phases of inner child, I just free wrote and I it was expressive writing as Tara talks about in this episode. But I would say, okay, this is what I felt. This is what I feel like is untethered. This is what I feel like has not wrapped up. This is what I feel like I'm still struggling with. It allowed me to clear so much out and process so many emotions. So it is a practice that I am dipping my toe back into a lot more regularly in tandem with my di practice. There's gonna be so many insights and awareness and really the message behind journaling is figure out what way, method and system works best for you so you can start expressing and dming with your soul. Enjoy. And now a word from our partners. This year I am all about the small habits, the small wins that I can make on a regular basis consistently that will transform my year over time. And one of those spaces that I'm looking at is what I'm snacking on. I am a huge tortilla chip fan. It is one of my most favorite not guilty pleasures but so many brands out there use seed oils or processed oils that can make you feel bloated, sluggish, break your skin out. And so I have been on the hunt for the the cleanest possible tortilla chip and recently got hooked on masa chips. They are made with just three ingredients, organic nishtimaliized corn, sea salt and 100% grass fed beef tallow. No seed oils, no fillers, no mystery chemicals that you can't pronounce. Just real food. And it makes such a difference. After eating the masa chips, I have no bloating, I don't feel sluggish, I have full energy. And I also just enjoyed one of my favorite new snacks. They are super crunchy and rich, flavorful, perfectly salted, deeply satisfying and not like regular tortilla chips on the market that just feel kind of bland and overcooked and not quality. I'm obsessed with their original, their white tortilla and their lime tortilla. And they also have a churro flavor option which is so such an amazing little dessert treat I've been having at night. If you are ready to start your masa adventure, go to masachips.com backslash magnetic all caps M A G N E T I C and use Code Magnetic M A G N E T I C All caps for 25% off your first order or simply click the link in the video description or scan the QR code to claim this offer. Again, that's 25% off with code magnetic. Enjoy and happy snacking. And now onto the episode. Tara Schuster, welcome back on the extended podcast.
- [05:02]
Tara Schuster
Jessica, it's so good to be with you.
- [05:04]
Jessica
I feel like our episode ignited so many people. I got so many messages after our first episode. They were like, oh my gosh, her story, her authenticity, her energy. They're like, how have I not known about her before? Like, so many people bought your books. It was just so good and I'm so excited to have you back on.
- [05:25]
Tara Schuster
Thank you. And I'll say it's been so fun for me because I did a book event in Chicago And a bunch of people came and they're like, we're from to be magnetic. We were, like, talking about manifesting and all this stuff, and I wouldn't have ever known them had it not been for this podcast. So, like, thank you. I met so many cool people. It's actually been really inspiring just to hear people's stories of how they're, like, taking their own agency, trusting in the universe, but also, like, doing the work. It's so powerful.
- [05:59]
Jessica
Okay, so you have just launched the mecca on journaling. It's honestly so cool because I think we went on a hike and you were like, I think I'm, like, deep in this rabbit hole researching journaling. I've been journaling for years. It's been the pivotal thing that's changed my life. And I want to put all of the things I found in one place. And then to see you work on the COVID have this. And now this baby is out in the world. So, like, background for listeners who haven't heard our first episode, you were not a journaler. And you say this so much in this book too, of like, I rolled my eyes when my friends were like, journaling can help your life. That was not your identity at all. Talk about that before and then how journaling has shifted to the after.
- [06:45]
Tara Schuster
Yeah, I'm like the least likely self help person ever, sort of. And I'll even back up a little bit for if you haven't heard our first episode together. I was a television executive at Comedy Central where I ran shows like Key and Peele and David Spade had a show with us. And I had zero inclination to go into the self help world, except my childhood kind of caught up with me. I had lived in a neglectful, psychologically abusive household where things came to die. Nothing was taken care of. But it was in beautiful Brentwood, Los Angeles. My parents drove the right cars. It all looked really, really good on the outside. So no one ever really checked in on me and my sister because it was, like, rotten on the inside and really, really difficult. And so I used external validation and status to get myself out of that house, get a scholarship to college, get the fanciest job I possibly can, climb the ladder at Comedy Central, become the youngest VP ever. Like, ha, ha ha, I win. Except I was suffering from debilitating anxiety and depression, which culminated in drunk dialing my therapist on my 25th birthday, threatening to hurt myself. And that next morning, I was just like, if I don't save my life, there's not gonna be much more of a life to live. I definitely don't have like a mom who's gonna like teach me a lesson and give me a hug. So I'm gonna need to do this for myself. And. And I just started a Google document where I just poured in every question I had about what are vegetables? Which one should one eat? Like I hear water's a thing. But like truly I did not know how to take care of myself to those kinds of basic, basic issues. And I did that for five years. And at the end of five years I had this 600 page Google Doc and just felt like a completely different person. That's when I realized I had been on this whole trajectory to be like, I'm gonna be a studio executive and like rule Hollywood. Bwahaha. You know, I had no plan of like helping anyone, much less helping myself. It was just, I thought I would die if I didn't do this. And so just with urgent desperation, went on this journey to reparent myself. And, and so that's how I came to any of these books or any of what I'm doing. But journaling, to kind of answer your original question, that was one of the first tools anyone suggested to me in order to understand what was up. I basically was living in a cloud of overwhelm where it rained Pinot Noir. I was not present, didn't understand why I was constantly crying at the cubicle, my little cubicle at work. Like I didn't know any of these things.
- [09:53]
Jessica
Things.
- [09:54]
Tara Schuster
Journaling was really the first thing that ever helped me.
- [09:58]
Jessica
I think journaling is arguably one of the best entry points into the world because it's the first time that you can actually get your thoughts down on paper and start to process that stuff. I love how you also included in the book how all of these incredible figures throughout history have journaled, like Leonardo da Vinci and Oprah and like diaries from all these incredible people. And then I thought I was like, wow. Like even when I was really young I had a diary with like a little lock and I would put my like secrets in it. And then I remember even being scared that someone would read them. And I, I found my childhood diary when my mom was moving out of her house, not that, not that many years ago. And I had like blacked out lines. I was like, I don't want anyone to read this. Like, like so terrified of even expressing what do you feel shifts for you when you get to put it down on the page?
- [10:57]
Tara Schuster
Yeah. So for me, in the back of my head, I had always kind of known my Past is bleeding all over my present. I should, quote, unquote, be better. I grew up in a nice neighborhood. I always had something to eat. But I'm not better. I'm miserable. So I knew in the back of my head, my past is really affecting my present. But I was really, really afraid that if I opened up that door, it would overwhelm me and destroy my life. And I was also afraid that if I took responsibility. Like, I'll admit this to you, I was afraid that if I took responsibility, then I couldn't blame my parents anymore. And there would be no scapegoat. There'd be nobody to point a finger at if I was now going to own this. I can feel some tears welling up because I was really, really scared.
- [11:50]
Jessica
I want to, like, hold space for you in that because a. That is so brave and, like, incredible to even recognize that piece. And you are so not alone. I hear this so much. I literally have specific friends in my mind as you're saying this. I'm like, that is their story to a T. The fear of what will happen if they unpack. And these are people with, you know, some of my friends have super heavy traumas. Some of them have lighter traumas. But the fear is the same. The intensity and the ferociousness in which we want to stuff down and think. I can look at it, like, a tiny bit, but if I really go all in, like, that will destroy me. And I must do everything I can to push that down. And I think we live in a culture right now where it's so easy to numb. Having our phones, having food, having so much stimulation. Why would I look at any of this stuff? Look at all the fun entertainment I have at my fingertips every five seconds. But the past will catch up to you.
- [12:52]
Tara Schuster
I mean, I write about it in my first book by yourself, the fucking Lilies I wrote. And this statement has just been so true for my whole journey, which is that which you do not deal with. Deals with you always. It does. There's no shortcut. If it happened and you haven't dealt with it, then it's going to come in some weird other form. It. It's going to start being the driver for your relationships, the career. You choose, how you talk to yourself in your head. So for me, actually writing out the mess that was in my head on a piece of paper, getting it out was the first step to me even realizing that there had been a storm brewing. I call it dming with your soul. The secret things that I might not want to like admit to and that I absolutely couldn't. I never told any of my friends anything about my childhood. I've written two books that are explicitly memoirs, which is surprising to my friends because at the time, I was so embarrassed. I was so ashamed of. My house was a mess. It was always like a landslide. The pets weren't taken care of. It was a real disaster. I was just ashamed of myself. And I didn't want to anyone to know any of it. So no one even knew until my first book came out what my life was like at home. And I think part of what really helped me though, I had that 600 page Google Doc where I was writing all these lessons, everything I wanted to know about how to live. It was a journal, in a sense. And it was the first place I felt safe. Little by little, right? Little by little, safe to write what was true.
- [14:47]
Jessica
When you went on this adventure down this journaling piece, one thing that really stuck out is how people think of journaling as a habit they have to do versus the ritual. Yeah, I loved this. I literally, like screenshotted the page from your book and sent it to the team. I was like, this is how we have to think about tvm. Like, we have to make it the ritual. Like, it's like not the habit. Like, I just was so lit up by that section. Talk a little bit about defining what the ritual is in your life and how to cultivate that. So you're excited to dive into all of the heaviness that may be on the other side of this journaling piece.
- [15:29]
Tara Schuster
Yeah, I. I think people don't want to journal or they fall out of journaling because they think of it as an obligation or a habit, something you have to do, it's going to suck. But if we can bring it into the world of ritual where it's actually something quite enjoyable, delightful, that you look forward to, that enlivens your days. You change your whole mindset about why it is that you're doing it. So one thing about this journal, and you kind of alluded it to the beginning, is like, you know this because I talk to you about this journal a lot. This journal almost like killed me. The publisher was like, why don't you write like a nice journal, you know, some prompts? And I was like, great, I'm gonna write the definitive book about journaling that is also a journal. And they're like, okay, cool, why don't you just write some nice prompts? And I'm like, no, no, no. I took a full year to research Positive psychology, gratitude, expressive writing. Anything that could be woven into the dopest journaling ritual of all time. I read the study. I hired the research assistant. I dove in because I'm such a cynic and because I know journaling helped me so much. I wanted everybody to kind of have, like, the definitive tool. And in my research, I came upon this book by Michael Norton called the Ritual Effect. And what he says is that a habit automates our life. So that's like if I get in a car, then I put on a seatbelt, if I. If I go to the bathroom, then I wash my hands. We do it over and over again so we don't have to think about it. Automation. We don't need our lives to be any more automated. We need them to be more intentional. Right? How many days do we let slip by going to work, going to the gym, then I go home, then it's Real Housewives. And sure, some of those things are really enjoyable, but we don't stop and remember, wait, I'm alive. I'm a soul and a body and a miracle on the earth. Let me pause to have a moment to savor all this. And so what he writes is that rituals animate our life, giving us more meaning, giving us more range of emotions. And actually, there's an interesting study that says that the happiest people are not people who just experience positive affect, meaning positive emotions. They're people who can move through all of the emotions. The richness of grief and sorrow and melancholy, the highs of joy and happiness and love. People who can feel the whole range enjoy their lives the most. For me, my life was so chaotic and scary. Sometimes I find the world to be really, really chaotic and scary. Every Single morning at 6:40am I know I will have a hot, witchy brew of something delicious. I will have my favorite pen. And I will have time for me, explicitly for me to remember, this is my time on earth. This is it, right? So let me make sure that I'm intentional. Present. My journal gives lots of different practices so you can really deepen how you journal. But if all you did was create a journaling ritual, you are ensuring that at least every single day you can do something you enjoy.
- [19:07]
Jessica
I love this so much. And I think right now more than ever, like we talked about all of those numbing things that are distracting, there's so much distraction. Like in the field, there's so much distraction, Everything wants your attention. It's a detention economy. But the ritual is where we take our power back. Like the ritual Is where we become human again, where we see the magic of life, where we dance with life, where we can tap into our intuition. And journaling is also something with TBM. We've talked a lot. We've talked to Dr. Tara Swart about this. But how when you. I guess this is a folly that maybe some people have is that they. If they just think about it more, they can solve the problem. They don't need to journal on it. And what actually happens in the brain when we're thinking brain is it loops. That's how we get into rumination. It never completes the cycle, but it actually takes either speaking it out loud or writing it down to get it to a place where our brains, once it's out, it naturally has to find a beginning, middle, and an end. When it's in our mind, we never hit the end button. We have, what if this? What if this? And it circles and circles. But the second we speak it out loud, whether voice, note, or speaking talking to a friend, or you write it in a journal, that's when our brain can actually go into, like, okay, so what is this? What do we take away from this? Okay, and here's the solution. Or this is where I feel like we should leave off with this. Like, we can actually close the loops, so to speak.
- [20:39]
Tara Schuster
Yes.
- [20:40]
Jessica
And I feel like that's the benefit. Like, that's why we have to take it out of our heads and onto the page. I have this with my fiance whenever he asks me a question, and then he comes back and asks the same question again and again. And I'm like, you need to go journal on this. Because this is now becoming a stuck loop. You need to just, like, get it on the page. Cause you'll find some sort of solution. Even if it's not the ultimate thing that you're gonna put apart. At least you'll get some clarity on it.
- [21:07]
Tara Schuster
Yeah. And there's, first off, amen. And there's so much science behind that. You were just talking about one of the most studied ways to journal. Like, this is the gold standard is expressive writing.
- [21:23]
Jessica
Yes. Talk about this. You have this technique in your book too.
- [21:25]
Tara Schuster
Yes. And it was created by James Pennebaker, who over decades has done. I mean, this really is really super studied. Like, if you were going to try any journaling technique for improvement, anxiety to get over a trauma, you'd want to try expressive writing. And what he found. And this. It sounds so counterintuitive. The prompt basically is, write about the worst thing that ever happened to you. Write about it in explicit detail. Get everything out, do not perform. And this is an important part. Journaling is not writing. I am a writer. When I journal, I am journaling. It is something completely different. It can be a great warm up for writing. But vocabulary, performance, editing, none of that has anything to do with journaling. And so he says, you know, get everything out. And what he found was that when people did that for 15 to 20 minutes, three to four times, and that could be within one week. So like Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, or in four weeks, like every Monday for four weeks. He found that right after they wrote, they felt a lot worse. Like seeing a scary movie or a sad movie, right. They had a little bit of that negative affect. But after they moved through and were able to resolve these traumas that had like really taken over their lives because they were able to re narrate what happened to them, they were able to find the beginning, middle and end as they wrote. The negative affect, the negative emotions they felt about it went down and down and down until it was something, a memory that was a lot more tolerable. There's this term in psychology called contrast. Thinking they could see, wow, I overcame that and now I'm in the present. I don't have to live in that memory of the past. Wow. This is actually proof of my resilience, of my bravery, of my problem solving abilities. They were able to find, it's called benefit finding, how this one horrible thing actually in some cases worked out to their benefit, even if in some weird way. And so there's just exactly what you're saying. The mind, it doesn't like unresolved questions. It'll loop unless you write it down. And like you said, also, or if you were to speak it aloud. In some of the studies around journaling, what they found is that if you just spoke into a voice memo, like your phone's recording app, you could have a similar effect to journaling. If you're only going to do one. If like you're just going to do it into your voice memo. Hallelujah, Amen. I'm so happy you did that. Great. But I do think there's something very powerful about the mind body connection when you write. And just to get just nerdy for one more second.
- [24:21]
Jessica
Yes, go.
- [24:22]
Tara Schuster
So a lot of my research was taking other studies and extrapolating how they might help in journaling. So one study I read was college students in a lecture, the people who typed on their computers versus the people who wrote down the notes. How did those students fare on their Exams. And what the study found was that people who wrote down the notes from the lecture were more likely to comprehend, make meaning, understand what it was that they were listening to versus the people who typed, because the typing was like transcription. They were hearing typing. Right. They were not processing, they were not comprehending. And so one thing I don't think we do a lot of is comprehending our own minds. So if you thought of what's going on in your mind as like, you're narrating your life, you're saying what your dreams are, what your goals are, et cetera, it would be better if you were to handwrite it. So if only you could understand what it was. I mean, and then I could name, like, five other studies about why this would be a good idea for goal setting. Way more likely to achieve your goals if you write down very simple, specifically when this goal is going to happen, exactly what it's going to be. A lot of stuff you talk about at tbm, you could do it all in journaling. I mean, does it kind of read that I'm a little obsessed?
- [25:51]
Jessica
No, I think it's. I think it's passion. I, like, recognize it as passion because I am the same way when it comes to, like, the TBM tools. I'm like the science, the study, like, let me find everything I can possibly find on it. My brain works the same way, but I love bringing it pen to paper again. And I think also, as such a digital age, as we are more incentivized to be disconnected from this, how do we become more analog? How do we come back pen to paper? How do we write letters to ourselves? Like, in our end of your challenge this year, Return to Magic, we had people pen a letter to their inner child. And we're like, write it down. You can type it, but write it down. And we say this with the manifestation list. Write it down. There is something that happens in the brain. I think part of it is because they're so deeply introdden, neural pathways of writing, they're so ancient and intuitive to us that our brain connects something deeper when we're actually having to make emotion for it. Sure, you can type up your list after if you want it on your phone. But there's something that happens where it syncs up so many other parts of the brain that you don't get the same effect with just typing.
- [27:04]
Tara Schuster
Totally. And I think one thing. So as a writer, I'm in a lot of these conversations about, oh, my God, is AI going to, like, take.
- [27:12]
Jessica
All of our jobs?
- [27:13]
Tara Schuster
What's going to happen. And my answer is AI writes in a certain way and it's evolving, but it really does write in a certain way. The best thing I could do for my career is to become more and more human, more and more myself, more able to write with brevity, with emotion, clarity of the human experience. So being able to tell your own story skillfully, that is just a gift that's going to give to you psychologically, emotionally, in your career in every possible way.
- [27:50]
Jessica
So huge, whether you're a writer, whatever industry you're in, it's like, what is your human, authentic touch that you can put on it? Like, that is going to be your superpower against whatever may come. And then use the AI as the tool as you see fit. Everyone has their own special, like, unique, authentic seed. And I think if we can see that in ourselves, cherish that in ourselves, get to know that about ourselves, like, that is going to set us apart and we don't have to worry about it.
- [28:21]
Tara Schuster
I mean, 100%. And just borrowing from my career at Comedy Central, you know, where I helped artists find their voices. In any kind of career, if you are creating anything, the single most important thing is your point of view, your authentic take. How do you see the world? Right? That's what artists give us. Like Georgia o', Keeffe, she's painting flowers in a way nobody else has seen them before. Each one of us, if we really want to help our careers, help our lives grow into what we want them to be, it would behoove us to practice and continue to work on what is your unique signature? What is Jessica's exact way that she sees the world and then talks about the world? Because when we can tap into that, our very specific experiences become very universal. The more you get in touch with your own unique story, I guarantee you the more compassion and understanding you are going to have for everyone else's story. The specific is always what leads to the universal.
- [29:27]
Jessica
That is such a good tip for artists out there who are struggling to understand what their authentic voice is, understand what their POV is. In your expert opinion, working with artists and even yourself as an artist, when you are in that place where you're really trying to fine tune that pov, it comes in the state of journaling. But do you also tend to, like, do you ever intentionally tune out of external things? Do you stop looking at things on social or taking in people, other people's substack? Like, do you ever put barriers of, like, I need a second to just be in my own world and see things through me. So I'm not diluting it with other people's input.
- [30:10]
Tara Schuster
Yeah, absolutely. And I'll tell you, most comedians don't watch comedy.
- [30:14]
Jessica
Wow. Interesting, right?
- [30:16]
Tara Schuster
They're probably watching some trauma documentary.
- [30:20]
Jessica
Right.
- [30:20]
Tara Schuster
Because you don't my process. So my genre is memoir and self help. Although I'm more and more saying, like, I'm trying to do self help, but funny, though.
- [30:29]
Jessica
Yeah, that was very true in this book. I can attest to it for sure.
- [30:35]
Tara Schuster
I want it to be fun and lighter because this can be really heavy stuff. But the process I go through is I completely, completely steep myself in every study, every other memoir to write lilies. I read Steve Martin's Born Standing up, every Nora Ephron. Anything I could read, I did read. Then I stopped. No inputs of any kind. Just get my butt in the seat and write. And that's how I do everything is sponge, sponge, sponge the world, SpongeBob, and then pause. Right? So that other. I'm not accidentally lifting other people's ideas. I'm not accidentally using their terms or phrase. Instead, it's all kind of, like, percolated and fermented into something that's more me.
- [31:25]
Jessica
I love this. I love this for creatives. I love this for. I mean, we got so many dms over the holidays of people. Like, I'm gonna start sharing this on social. I'm gonna start doing this on substack. And I think it can be so eas. Sponge and write and sponge and create and sponge and create. But I think there does have to be that intentional buffer. Like, you can sponge, but then you have to be like, I absorbed it, and now I have to let it all go. And now I have to let, like, the inspiration channel through.
- [31:55]
Tara Schuster
Because another danger there is comparison. If I'm always. I have a sub stack, but if I'm always looking at other people's sub stack, there's always going to be somebody who has more readers than me, more engagement than me. And the little part of my brain that's like, you need to measure up. Like, you're not doing a good enough job. It turns online, and then I'm coming from a place of fear and scarcity and needing to prove myself. None of my good work comes from me being afraid and, like, trying to prove a point when it's time to create, I have to have blinders on and stay in my own lane because I'm just too prone to looking over my shoulder.
- [32:41]
Jessica
I think most of us are. I think it is a natural Instinct to do that. I mean, that's why they literally put blinders on horses. Because even animals are like, like, where's the next horse? But when they put the blinders on them, they can shoot up faster. Like there's a reason they do that. But I think the, the, the beauty is knowing that, having that self awareness to say, oh, this is why, okay, that I tend to do this. Not gonna shame myself. Nothing wrong with it. And how can I set myself up for success?
- [33:15]
Tara Schuster
Yeah, it's, it's not a problem. Our friend, the writer Elise Lunan, in her beautiful book On Our Best Behavior, talks about envy as one of these things that in particular, women are not supposed to feel. And from her book, what I really got was a new understanding of envy as just a signpost of where I want to be going. Yep, not a problem. Not something I should be ashamed of, but just a little ping from the universe that maybe I'm not on the right track. Maybe I need to like, move a little over here if that's, if that's so appealing to me. And I always now think of it as proof of what's, what's possible for me, not proof that, like, they got it. So I can't, you know, it's a big universe. If someone else got something, well, then that's just proof that I can too. Like, I too am human. I too work hard. That's why it's so important to, at that moment, put on the blinders. Don't get lost in some story of envy or whatever. Just take the win, which is knowing what you want. I looked in that lane and I saw something I want. Let me get back in my lane and do it my way.
- [34:24]
Jessica
Yes, I love the. Okay, I saw it, I witnessed it, and now I can let it go. Yeah, I mean, that's our whole concept with expanders is like, yes. Seeing people as showing you breadcrumbs of aspects of yourself that you have yet to tap into. It's like all your potential that you absolutely can achieve in your own authentic way, too. If there was one practice that I could recommend to you that has transformed my life more than anything else, it has been the 2B magnetic work. Obviously, I may be biased because I am the Chief Content Officer. I'm the host of the podcast, I develop all the workshops with the brand. But it is also the tool that has helped my life life the most. When I am in a season of doubt, when I'm in a season of fear or tests or triggers, when I am trying to get clarity on my next chapter when I'm trying to design a life for my future, that I want to be really deeply connected to my soul, to my potential, to my purpose, to my ambition. TBM houses all the tools and workshops that you need to connect deeper to yourself and not let your past patterning, your past programming, your limiting beliefs run the show anymore. Because every time I get tripped up on one of those things, it is always younger versions of myself coming in, taking the driver's seat and running rampant. And until I can connect with them through the TBM work and really learn to process it in a new way and recontextualize the things, that is when my life actually shifts and I reprogram my neural pathways to be in alignment with what I truly want, which is how you manifest. If you are interested in joining the Pathway, we have a special offer for our podcast guests where you can get the first month for $20 and then join our annual membership. You can use this work through our various workshops that we teach you how to manifest. We go through an inner child program. There's a shadow program, one for rut, rock bottom, money, love, you name it. Or you can use it as a daily tool to reprogram in the moment issues as they come up to reset your nervous system, give you high self worth, reconnect with your magnetic self, or talk to your inner child part that may be in the way and running the show and self sabotaging. So if you're getting the ping to join tbm, now's the time. And you can use code expanded all caps E x P A N D e D for $20 off your first month to join the Pathway. I think one thing that's going to be really huge for people this year and beyond and just everything that's collectively happening is having that channel to self, channel to soul, having that soul connection to self on speed dial. Because we need to know what is truly coming from us, from our essence versus everything that we're taking in. How do you work with your journaling practice to deepen that connection to your intuition, to your soul, to your authenticity?
- [37:56]
Tara Schuster
I have been practicing Julia Cameron's morning pages for 15 years.
- [38:02]
Jessica
Wow.
- [38:03]
Tara Schuster
Yeah. Her practice that she wrote in the Artist's Way, which is one of my favorite books. Anybody creative who's kind of struggling with being allowed to be creative? That is the number one book I would recommend. But first thing in the morning before you do anything else, you write three longhand pages. No editing, just word vomit. They can be to do lists. It does not have to sound good. It's just getting all the gunk out of your head. This is dming with your soul. So what I do is at the top of my page, I also write, I am tracking, I am noticing. Because so many things we try to change a little behavior, but then we don't take a note of it, so we don't know if it worked. So for example, if I write tracking, sometimes I use it with medication or diet change or whatever. Very practical. Just so I can write, like, okay, eating more leafy greens, noticing, feeling lighter and better every day, like, yay, I could write. Started dating new guy named David. Feeling much, much worse about myself and anxious. Does he like me? Does he not? I can track it every single day and kind of have a more objective way to see myself. So my pages get me in touch with my soul. Right? I like a word vomiting. I sometimes give myself the prompt, today, here's what's in my heart. Because otherwise it can be quite intimidating just to look at a blank page. So answer that question. And then I'm always tracking and noticing something about myself. So it's a little bit of soul, a little bit of science.
- [39:45]
Jessica
I love the tracking piece too. And I actually intuitively did this last week in my journal and I'm like, oh, maybe I like absorbed what you had in your book. One of my goals this year is to like fine tune my energy and to understand like on a day to day basis in the micro moments, where is it that things go left? Where is it that I lose my energy, I lose my momentum, I lose my excitement for life. And I know that is a normal part of life to have ups and downs, but I'm just curious, is there anything that's in my control that I can shift and optimize for in that? Like last week I did Monday through Friday and I said, okay, things that went well during the day that gave me energy, things that I feel like could be improved on by 1% and I would like circle them or whatever. And that was my sort of tracking. And then over the weekend I like synthesized my analysis of like, okay, what, what themes did I notice throughout this? And it was so illuminating. Like I'm like, I don't even need to keep tracking. Like, I just need to implement the shifts from this first week because there was so much there.
- [40:50]
Tara Schuster
Totally. I love that. I love when we treat our lives like an experiment and we, we have a hypothesis, like maybe my energy is seeping out because of X, but then we just do the bare Minimum of noticing our lives, and we can realize, wow, it's actually y. This isn't a crisis. This is just a micro adjustment I can make, and then I can experiment again. In my journal, I note whenever I have a thought experiment going on. So, for example, my friend Dr. Jennifer Fried, the astrologist and sage wise woman, gave me a book by Thich Nhat Hanh, the Vietnamese meditator. I think he was Buddhist. And in this book, he says, the good news is you're alive. And so every day I've been writing down, okay, thought experiments. What if I totally believed this? And how does my day go? What am I thinking about? Like, was it better to live this way? And on this one, yes, it is better to be open to the good news that I'm alive. But again, to one of the points you were bringing up at the beginning. If you label it, if you're like, thought experiment, noticing, tracking, you are more likely to continue, not to lose momentum, to note it's being intentional. Like, what is it to be intentional? Well, in my case, it's just write it down. And now I'm living an intentional life.
- [42:22]
Jessica
It was so interesting. Dr. Charles Ward talked a lot about neuro aesthetics and how people, from the first, even markings of civilization, when there was no absolutely zero necessity to do art or jewelry or anything like that, they were making it. They were doing cave drawings purely for aesthetic and beauty and. And for the love of life reasons. And I think, we think so many of these practices are the afterthought. Oh, I'll do the ritual when I have time, when I get the new job, when I make the income I need to make, when the kids are back at school, when, you know, there's always a. I'll do it when it happens. And I think if we can reframe to. That's not gonna happen until you make this the priority. We don't prioritize the beauty, the ritual, the tradition as much anymore as a society. And I think it's really impacting us more than we even have words for beyond.
- [43:24]
Tara Schuster
So at tbm, you guys talk about it as an authentic code, right? I talk about it as values, knowing what my values are. And it is not a nice afterthought. Like, well, I had enough time to consider all of this and consider my priorities. No, it is actually the foundational building block that allows me to have a life that I love. And I actually think, to your point, the next thing I'm studying is Aristotle and his ethics.
- [43:53]
Jessica
Wow.
- [43:53]
Tara Schuster
Taking like an online class at Oxford Right now. In like, he basically wrote the world's first self help book. He was like, how are we supposed to live? And one of the things he writes about is character, who you are and are you living up to your unique potential. And so I think when we say things like, when I have time, then I'll journal. When I have time, then I'll start to meditate, to take care of myself. When I have time, then I'll call my friends again. I'm like, are you a fortune teller? Who knows you have that much more time? Because I'm not. That's more of a fantasy that actually is not like realistic or in the real world. And I understand. I've had really stressful jobs. I would not wish my childhood upon anybody. I get it. I get how hard day to day life is. But all I'm asking is that people take five to ten minutes minutes to reflect on any of this. And if you've got five to ten minutes to doom scroll on Instagram, then you, my friend, five to ten minutes to pay attention to your life.
- [45:04]
Jessica
Mic drop. That, I think is where it, it always gets me. Whenever I make the excuse to myself that I don't have time, it's like, well, what's your screen time? How much time did you spend on social media or anything on your phone this week? Because guess what? You got the time. You're just not prioritizing.
- [45:22]
Tara Schuster
I write in the journal. Maybe there is some person who literally does not have five minutes to themselves. It is totally possible. I'm willing to believe it, but is that really you? Just be honest with yourself. Is it really me or. I get very avoidant. And when I get avoidant, I just start, I don't know, looking at. I'm going to Vegas soon, so I'm like looking at outfits like this. And by the way, like, not lost on me. We're talking Aristotle, we're talking expansion. Sanders, we're talking Vegas, baby. Like, let's go.
- [45:54]
Jessica
It's all part of the human experience.
- [45:55]
Tara Schuster
Yes, have it all, the richness of it all. But I can find myself just going down a rabbit hole of outfits that I'm not buying. Like, I'm not even adding to cart. I'm just looking at images. And I have to pause and be like, wait, this is how I'm spending this precious time? No, There are about 40 other things I want to be doing with my time. I really need to be intentional. And it's a practice. It's not about beating yourself up. It's not about oh, like, I can't believe you did that again. For people who want to journal and they fall off their practice, the number one thing I say is, great, you will fall off your practice. There's zero percent chance that anybody is doing journaling, quote, unquote, perfectly. I journal most days. Have there been days where I don't? Yeah, for sure. And every time, instead of beating myself up, I say, good job, me. That I even have a ritual to come back to that I was so intentional about my life that I missed this thing that now I can go back. So when you get lost journaling, it's not a sign that there's a problem. It's a sign that you've done a very, very good job. You have done something to take care of yourself and. Okay, let's get back into it.
- [47:10]
Jessica
I love that reframe. The compassion piece is so key because if we shame ourselves, then we'll never pick it back up again, and it's really unhelpful. Okay, so diving into your book, not only do you get all the research, really good storytelling from you, I love the little, like, sidebars and quips and, like, comedy pieces that you've put in there. But you get a lot of techniques. How should someone, when they pick up this book, how should they use it, apply it? Like, what would be your recommendation of how to best. Best get the most out of it?
- [47:43]
Tara Schuster
Yeah. So I wrote it so that I bring you in as a journaling skeptic to my story of how I fell in love with journaling. So I was saying in the beginning, I had this, like, really difficult childhood, and it had led to severe anxiety and depression. And a friend of mine was like, well, have you ever tried journaling? I hear that can really help get in touch with your soul and your emotions. And I was like, like, have you ever tried getting lost? Like, are you kidding me? Like, you don't understand life. You do not understand what I've been through. I am going to journal, but only to spite you and show you how out of touch you are. And I genuinely, genuinely began to prove that she was wrong and I was right. That is the whole reason I started. But pretty quickly I started getting in touch with myself, and it felt good, and it felt like a relief, and it felt anything other than overwhelming, which had been my fear. And so if you're kind of a skeptic, like I am, or I try to write the story in an LOL way. So if you want to laugh, I would. I would start at the beginning. About the story. And then you can kind of pick your own adventure. I offer five different techniques. I would probably do it in the order that I've got it in the book, but you really could do it any way you wanted. And my method is the very scientific spaghetti against the wall method. I think the reason a lot of journaling practices fail is because people tell us there's one right way to journal. There isn't. There are many different techniques. And since I don't know the reader, like, wish I did, maybe see them at a book event in Chicago or wherever, I can't, I can't sit down with you and be like, oh, these are the things you're going through. I think you should try this journaling technique. So instead, I give you each journaling technique. I give you some of the research behind it. For example, if you're feeling a lot of different emotions or it's hard for you to feel emotions, like, if that's a world you want to work in, affect labeling would be a great technique for you. And in the journal, I give you an emotion wheel and instructions for how to start expanding your vocabulary of how you feel. Because there have been a lot of studies that show us that simply writing how you feel gives a physical, beneficial, stress relieving feeling. You don't even need to write a story about it, just literally the emotion. The problem is, you know, at least for me, emotions had boiled down to I was good, bad, sad, tired, busy. So for me, affect labeling at that point would have been a really good one. Just to bring down the heights of my emotion, but also to teach me that I had more emotions. So I'd go through the book in order. But if you see in the table of contents one that looks really good to you, like, I include nighttime journaling, which is one of my favorites. I say I call it the evening download. And I actually, I just had my first in person retreat in Santa Fe, New Mexico, which is just the most, one of the most magical places on earth. And every night we gathered by the fire to do the evening download together. And it was just so beautiful to at the end of your day, tie things up, come up with like, what, what did I learn from today? What am I grateful for from today? Or to write out anxieties that keep you from going to bed. There's great, compelling research that writing down your worries before you go to bed makes it easier to go to bed. This is why I almost couldn't write this journal. There are so many different techniques. I never want to Be the self help person who's telling you if you don't do it this way, then like you're not doing it right. The reader is super smart. They're also unique. So they need a lot of different tools and then they can figure out what works best for them. I feel like that's what you do at tbm. You give lots of different tools so that you'll find one that works for you. So you'll find however you use the journal, I feel pretty good that you're going to find a technique that works for you.
- [52:06]
Jessica
I also like the fact that you have all the different research back ones that have been most impactful for you and that you've seen be most effective for other people as well. But just having a couple different ones in there, like my brain going through it, I was like, like, okay, I definitely want to do that one right now, but I feel like I could benefit from that one down the line. Like you can see how your brain already is understanding what you need uniquely in each time period. And then you can flip back in the journal and be like, okay, cool, I want to try out this one for like a month or something and see how that goes. Because I think that has always been my experience with journaling where it's like off and on in different modalities. If I had one modality that, that, you know, I did morning pages, I think for two years straight and filled up so many journals and it was amazing. But I got to the point where it felt at the very end of doing it, I was like, the clouds are fluffy today. I was just like, so like, I have to get this done because I feel like I have to do it. And I was like, wait, I need to listen to what I need. Yeah. And it had. I had different techniques to lean on immediately, I could have been like, great, now I'm trying this one. Now I'm trying this one. But I think having all of it in one book where you can just say like, what do I need now? Is huge. One other thing I want to point out, and you have this exercise in there, but with that I think it's under the expressive writing and I do this a lot through like the TBM world of it all. But I will journal specifically to either a physical body part that is in distress, like if I have natural neck pain, or I'll journal directly to a part of me that is feeling a very spicy type of way. And I'll be like, okay, XYZ part, lay it on me. Like we have this in a deep imagining. But I love bringing that di into a journaling format where I'm like, tell me everything. Like, let it rip. What is everything? You feel like the catharsis that comes out of that is unmatched.
- [54:12]
Tara Schuster
I recently realized. So I had this terrible childhood. I feel pretty resolved, which I am shocked because I just thought, this thing is gonna rule the rest of my life. I'm never gonna be happy. I got so messed up that I don't even know what my internal voice is if I ever had one to begin with. I can't trust myself. I was so convinced of all of these things.
- [54:36]
Jessica
Things.
- [54:38]
Tara Schuster
What I've recently realized is that by writing out my Google Docs, by journaling this whole time, by writing my books, I accidentally did expressive writing for, like, 15 years. And so of everyone who can speak to the great benefit of getting these loops out of your head, finding beginning, middle, and endings, looking at what happened to you with more perspective, putting it in a larger context of your whole life. I could cry right now because there really were times where I thought, you know, I haven't talked to my mom in 15 years. There was a time I wasn't talking to my dad. I'd been through some really, really dark things. And there was a time I thought, I am broken. There's something inherently wrong with me, and it's never gonna get better. And after all of this journaling, all of this storytelling, getting to know myself, I almost laugh. Like, I laugh with compassion because I know, oh, I was really wrong. Like, I. Like, I understand why I felt that way. I understand why I felt hopeless. But actually, by diving into the story, by making it my own, by being really intentional, by deciding never to neglect myself ever again, and really through journaling, right? Which is such a caring act that I could have a life I love, that I could actually know myself. And at the end of the day, that's what I hope this journal does for people. It's a means to do exactly what you said. Find the channel back to yourself in a joyful way, in a way that isn't so heavy. That's why I have little jokes written everywhere. Like, it can be fun to excavate even the horrible things. There is a delight in getting to know yourself.
- [56:33]
Jessica
Oh, so good. So good. One of the things that you talked about was, like, things that you're kind of tracking or pondering right now, like, what's on your heart, what's on your soul. So what's one thing that is on your heart, your soul? What's one thing you're pondering at this moment?
- [56:48]
Tara Schuster
It's so like synchronicity, because you actually said it.
- [56:53]
Jessica
Energy.
- [56:53]
Tara Schuster
I really want this year to be my most energetically wise. I was just at Esalen on a meditation retreat and it's in Big Sur and it's just so beautiful, just so gorgeous. And it was like, life can be so good and yet I'm so stressed out a lot of the time. I won't be at Esalen every single day. You know, I live on a busy day street. Like it's not gonna be my everyday experience, but what can I do with my energy so that I'm not constantly stressed out, not constantly striving, not around people I don't want to be around, not trying to prove myself. So I'm really trying to take note of what people and activities give me energy and suck away energy. And I actually just have a little minus and a plus plus. It's always I'm looking back at the. At yesterday, so like maybe tomorrow. Plus. Talking to Jessica on the negative. I left home for a week and I forgot that there was a roast chicken just being gross in the fridge. That took a little energy from me. So these things aren't necessarily like always life changing. But I too am really trying to track my energy. Energy.
- [58:15]
Jessica
I think it's the 1% shift. Stephen Bartlett at Diary CEO talks about that and how that's how he operates his team. But I'm like, let's apply that to our lives. What is the 1% thing that we can like kind of shift just like a little bit. It doesn't have to be grand, it doesn't have to be big. And it's, it's an experiment. Let's just get curious. If we optimized for our energy, what more could we do that that fills our cup? And what more do we let go of? Like, what things did we think we had to hold that actually, like we really didn't and we didn't realize how much it was taking from us.
- [58:52]
Tara Schuster
We had been talking about like, this is the dead of winter.
- [58:55]
Jessica
Yeah.
- [58:56]
Tara Schuster
Why is it I'm trying to like set up an empire just because the beginning of the year, I think this actually for me is a time of rest, of going more slowly. And if I track it, if I track my energy, then this is going to be great data for me forever. Like, I don't need to learn this lesson 50 million times. Let me learn it now in my journal.
- [59:20]
Jessica
So good. Where can everyone connect with you? Find the journal, order it for themselves and friends, all the things.
- [59:28]
Tara Schuster
So if you go to tarashuster.com journal I have a free 14 day journaling challenge where even if you don't buy the journal, I'd love you to try to journal and you can journal with me. So if you go there, you can find a copy, but you can also, just for free, journal with me. And I also. I'm on Instagram, Tara Schuster, where I'm trying to make like a little slice of the Internet that's. I mean, you guys are doing this too, where we're trying to bring hope and, and expansion. Yeah, that, that, that's sort of the mission.
- [60:02]
Jessica
I mean, what an important and soulful mission. Bringing the magic back. We need it.
- [60:10]
Tara Schuster
We need those rituals.
- [60:12]
Jessica
Yes, we do. I'm excited. I feel like this has sparked me to get back into a more consistent journaling routine. I am a big, deep imagining girly. So I'm like popping the audio. Do it that way. But I've. I really feel like I need to get it down on paper more often.
- [60:28]
Tara Schuster
Yeah. Well, let me know how it goes. Yes, I'm here for everyone's journal. Everyone, tell me how it goes. Let me know because I want to make sure that this journal is genuinely helpful. Thank you so much, Tara. Thank you for having me. Sa.