Podcast Summary: Experts of Experience

Episode: "The Real Reason Your Customer Experience Is Broken (And It's Not What You Think)"

Host: Lacey Peace (Mission.org)
Guest: J.C. Quintana, Customer Experience Leader, Author, Speaker
Date: February 18, 2026

Episode Overview

This episode challenges conventional thinking about customer experience (CX) by exposing a critical yet often overlooked source of CX breakdowns: a fundamental misalignment between organizational definitions of "experience" and real human expectations. J.C. Quintana, an expert in the psychology of relationships and author of "7 Expectations," joins host Lacey Peace to explore the psychological and communication underpinnings of effective experience-building—and why technology, rating systems, and methodologies often distract us from the human core of CX. The discussion introduces the "Dialogue 7" framework for understanding and designing for expectations in any relational context, from B2B sales to internal teams dealing with AI transformation.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Evolving Definition of "Experience"

• Historical Shift: Experience once meant genuinely fulfilling a customer’s real, human needs. Now, it's too often about methodologies, metrics, and tech.
  • J.C.: "Over time ... you say experience, people think methodologies, rating systems, technology ... And we've lost a lot of that human component and what it means to real people." (04:51)
• Problem: Companies focus on "how" to deliver and measure experience, forgetting to define "what" experience actually means for their unique customers.

2. The Expectation-Experience Mismatch

• Core Issue: Many CX failures aren't due to poor delivery, but a mismatch between what was expected and what was delivered.
  • J.C.: "We train our employees on how to talk about our product really well ... but we don't really talk about ... the alignment of the expectations of what your product does with what they expected it to do." (07:42)
• Content Analogy: The gap between promise, proof, and delivery isn’t exclusive to CX—content creators (like podcasters or YouTubers) face similar loyalty risks when expectations are set poorly at the start.

3. The Foundation: Business Model, Not Experience

• Misplaced Focus: Modern organizations often treat "experience" as the main ingredient, rather than an outcome of the business model.
  • J.C.: "Our business model is the main ingredient. ... Based on our business model, we can make determinations of experience as an additive and we can define what that experience means to each of the people that our value proposition is designed to serve." (12:37)
• Functional Siloing: True CX is holistic in outcome, but responsibilities remain specialized; every function must deliver its "piece" of the experience (14:01).

4. Dialogue 7: The Seven Conversations/Expectations

• Framework Purpose: To bring awareness to the human (not just technical) conversations that underpin every successful experience.
  • J.C.: "The Dialogue 7 framework tries to get people thinking about the right conversations necessary to start that relationship correctly and then work towards defining what that experience should look like..." (16:53)

The 7 Conversations:

1. Definition of the Relationship (Value):
   • "If we knew nothing about each other ...The question you ask is, why are we here?" (17:44)
2. Culture (Centricity):
   • "Culture is number two, and we call it centricity ... It's what makes up the center of what something or someone is." (21:02)
3. Engagement:
   • "What's the expected level of engagement to accomplish the value?" (22:00)
4. Knowledge:
   • "What are my expectations for knowledge ... the burden of proof is on you to teach me about hammers." (23:56)
5. Ability/Accountability:
   • "It's not just about ability ... It's about accountability..." (24:30)
6. Transparency:
   • "How much access do I need, how much transparency are you willing to give me, and what is it going to cost me?" (25:51)
7. Experience (Staging):
   • "You cannot start with experience ... How can I go and define experience without understanding your expectations for those other things?" (28:52)

5. Where Companies Most Often Fail

• Knowledge and Engagement: These expectations are most often misaligned, leading to negative outcomes.
  • J.C.: "Out of the seven things, engagement and understanding what engagement really meant and knowledge were the two things that really stood out." (29:15)
• Cultural Misfires: Ignoring local or national culture can break trust—even with seemingly universal tech like AI or voice recognition. (47:30)

6. Application: Awareness Over Process

• Practical Adoption: The first step isn’t enforcing a strict process but cultivating awareness of these seven expectations in everyday interactions, both external (customers, partners) and internal (employees, peers). (34:47)
• Checklist Approach: For time-constrained roles (services, sales), a simple checklist to rapidly assess and validate expectations can dramatically improve alignment—and outcomes. (37:54)

7. The AI and Tech Angle

• Expectation Setting: Many current anxieties about AI stem from poor alignment and communication about value, effort, transparency, and accountability.
• Quintana's Solution: Run the implementation of AI (or any tech) through the "Dialogue 7" expectations framework to ensure alignment at every level—from management goals to employee concerns. (44:51)
  • J.C.: "Let's make AI the topic and walk people through all the seven things in the framework." (44:51)

8. Human Communication Lessons from AI/LLMs

• ChatGPT as a Mirror: The precision demanded by AI for context and clarity highlights how often we fail to communicate adequately with people.
  • J.C.: "We do to people what we often do to ChatGPT. We don't provide them background or context ... You have to be as clear and concise ... just as you should be doing with people." (50:33)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Assumptions:

  • "We don't like calling it that. We don't like calling it assumptions, but that's really what they are." – Lacey (02:54)

• On CX Belonging to Everyone:

  • "Experience doesn't belong to the CXO or to the CX team. Experience belongs to all of us." – J.C. (12:54)

• On the Dangers of 'Company as Family':

  • "I wish that companies would stop saying that our companies are like families. ... If we're giving the wrong customers a great experience, then we're not giving the right customers the best experience." – J.C. (56:28, 57:11)

• On the Future Skillset:

  • “If I was raising my kids today … the first skill I'm going to teach you is human centered design. ... If you don't learn the very skill of listening to human beings ... no technology in the world is going to help you be successful." – J.C. (67:22)

• On Character Versus Strategy:

  • "I think we overestimate the influence of character on business acumen. ... In the absence of character, the strategy will win. And to win by that strategy, by any means could be wrong without character." – J.C. (64:51)

Important Timestamps

• 00:06–05:39 – J.C. critiques how “experience” has drifted from its human origins to being tech- and methodology-driven.
• 05:56–07:42 – Psychological underpinnings of expectations and experience; redefining “experience.”
• 16:34–29:08 – Breakdown and explanation of the Dialogue 7 framework.
• 29:15–32:00 – Where companies most often fail, especially knowledge and engagement gaps.
• 34:47–37:54 – Applying Dialogue 7 in practice: awareness, checklists, and time-limited settings.
• 40:07–44:23 – AI, anxiety, and the high bar of new tech expectations; managing change and human response.
• 50:02–53:42 – Lessons about human clarity and context in communication, drawn from ChatGPT interactions.
• 56:14–57:11 – Why "great experience" and "we're a family" can be dangerous, unrealistic expectations.
• 66:46–68:56 – Raising the next generation: essential future skills in a world dominated by technology.

Key Takeaways for Listeners

• Redefine Experience: Stop defaulting to methodologies and metrics; go back to the psychological, human core of expectations.
• Prioritize Expectation Alignment: The biggest CX failures occur not due to bad service or products, but from mismatches between expectations and delivered outcomes.
• Adopt the Dialogue 7 Framework: Build awareness of these seven critical conversational areas—don’t skip straight to “experience” without defining value, culture, engagement, and more.
• Apply across Contexts: This isn’t just for customer relationships; expectation alignment governs all human interactions—colleague, boss, partner, or even AI agent.
• Cultivate Clarity in Communication: Learn from the rigor required by AI—what context, role, and outcomes are expected? Get explicit.
• Reconsider the “Family” Analogy: Businesses cannot and should not try to emulate family dynamics; align on clear, equitable, realistic business relationships.
• Prepare for an AI Future: Innovate around human skills—listening, empathy, human-centered design—because tech will only amplify expectation gaps if not matched by communication.

Resources Mentioned

• Book: "7 Expectations" by J.C. Quintana (7expectations.com)
• Book Recommendation: "The Book of Joy" by Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu (60:35)
• Connect with J.C. Quintana: Instagram @jcquintana, LinkedIn, jcquintana.com, 7expectations.com

Closing Thoughts

This episode underscores that truly exceptional customer and employee experiences start long before metrics, methods, or even the product itself. They start with intentionally uncovering, articulating, and aligning expectations—internally and externally. In a world eager for technological shortcuts, J.C. argues for a return to thoughtful dialogue and the deep, sometimes uncomfortable, work of understanding what people actually want and need.