Podcast Summary: Fail Better with David Duchovny – Episode: Catching Up with Gillian Anderson

Published by Lemonada Media

Introduction

In this compelling episode of Fail Better, host David Duchovny engages in an intimate and candid conversation with his longtime friend and co-star, Gillian Anderson. The episode delves deep into their shared history, personal struggles, and the concept of failure as a catalyst for growth. Skipping the introductory segments and advertisements, the focus remains squarely on the meaningful dialogue between Duchovny and Anderson.

Reconnecting and Initial Impressions

The episode kicks off with light-hearted banter about Gillian's new beverage line, "G Spot," setting a relaxed tone for the discussion.

Gillian Anderson [02:21]:

"How many liquids do I have here, David Duchovny."

David Duchovny [02:24]:

"Can I count? Well, carbonated water, still water, some kind of big green thing, a coffee looking thing, Unsweetened tea. Unsweetened tea."

This playful exchange quickly transitions into an exploration of Gillian's latest projects, including her book "Want"—a collection of anonymous fantasies from women worldwide—and her beverage line. Duchovny expresses admiration for her multifaceted endeavors, highlighting the depth and authenticity she brings to her work.

Reflecting on Their Time on "The X-Files"

The conversation naturally shifts to their complex relationship during the filming of "The X-Files." Both Duchovny and Anderson acknowledge the lack of personal connection despite on-screen chemistry.

David Duchovny [06:27]:

"The part of this conversation that is the trickiest part for me is I guess I would talk about like my failure of friendship or my failure of companionship or just co-starringness."

Gillian Anderson [07:06]:

"That is kind of crazy."

They discuss the underlying tensions and the absence of off-camera camaraderie, which, while not affecting their professional performance, left both feeling isolated and disconnected.

Personal Failures and Communication Issues

The dialogue deepens as both individuals confront their own personal failures, particularly in communication and vulnerability.

David Duchovny [09:14]:

"I'm fucking talking so much."

Gillian Anderson [09:26]:

"Communication is everything. It's everything. And yet it's really hard."

Anderson shares her struggles with expressing herself, revealing how opening up often weakened her ability to perform. Duchovny contrasts this with his own approach, where verbal acknowledgment helps him overcome internal struggles.

Impact of Childhood and Upbringing on Personal Dynamics

Both guests reflect on how their childhood experiences have shaped their adult behaviors, especially concerning shame and confrontation.

Gillian Anderson [10:04]:

"The minute I speak to my fear or my concern or I am suddenly, my knees go weak and I can't do the scene."

David Duchovny [11:40]:

"I want you to think maybe you have it, too."

They explore the lingering effects of their upbringing, discussing how these early experiences influence their present-day interactions and self-perception.

Navigating Parenthood

Shifting focus, the conversation touches upon their roles as parents and the accompanying challenges.

David Duchovny [44:22]:

"I've had two boys now who are busy making their own lives. Sadly they don't have to live the path I went through."

Gillian Anderson [46:40]:

"I'm very close to my kids. It's my happiest time, I think, when I'm with them."

They discuss the balance between work and family, with Duchovny emphasizing the difficulty of protecting his children from his own failures, while Anderson highlights the emotional toll of balancing a demanding career with motherhood.

Gillian's Projects: "Want" and "G Spot"

Gillian delves into her entrepreneurial ventures, explaining the motivations and challenges behind her book and beverage line.

Gillian Anderson [50:00]:

"The first stage was me being asked whether it be something I was interested in, which I was. And I immediately understood why it would be interesting to do in terms of recreating a collection of anonymous sexual fantasies from women around the world."

She elaborates on how these projects aim to reduce shame around female desire and empower women to embrace their own fantasies and desires without judgment.

Navigating Social Media and Personal Branding

The discussion moves to the intricacies of maintaining a personal brand on social media while preserving privacy and authenticity.

David Duchovny [53:03]:

"But I can't really do that. It doesn't really work."

Gillian Anderson [54:00]:

"I hold it lightly. I also don't share anything about my kids or my personal life. None of that shows up."

Anderson explains her strategic approach to social media, emphasizing that she delegates it to her team and maintains strict boundaries to protect her personal life, ensuring that her online presence remains aligned with her brand's mission rather than her private identity.

Conclusion and Reflections on Friendship and Failure

As the episode nears its end, Duchovny and Anderson reflect on their enduring friendship and the importance of acknowledging past failures.

David Duchovny [63:28]:

"It's a lot to dance around, you know, without getting into specifics. Right. But I think that we managed to do that."

Gillian Anderson [63:48]:

"Yeah, thank you, David."

They conclude by expressing gratitude for the opportunity to openly discuss their history, emphasizing that acknowledging failures is a step toward growth and better relationships.

Key Takeaways

• Failure as Growth: Both Duchovny and Anderson view failure not as a setback but as an essential part of personal and professional development.

• Importance of Communication: Effective communication is vital in overcoming personal barriers and building meaningful relationships.

• Balancing Personal and Professional Life: Navigating fame and parenthood requires setting clear boundaries and prioritizing personal well-being.

• Empowerment Through Authenticity: Embracing one's true self and reducing societal shame around desires lead to personal empowerment and stronger community connections.

Notable Quotes

• David Duchovny [03:03]:

  "I'm drinking butterfly pee."

• Gillian Anderson [10:46]:

  "If I worked less, I'd be able to speak to my shame a lot more."

• David Duchovny [28:21]:

  "It was. It was so difficult for me to watch my kids fail at anything."

• Gillian Anderson [56:32]:

  "I hold it lightly. I also don't share anything about my kids or my personal life."

Final Thoughts

This episode of Fail Better offers a profound exploration of failure, friendship, and personal growth. Through their honest and reflective dialogue, Duchovny and Anderson provide listeners with valuable insights into navigating the complexities of personal relationships and the inevitable failures that shape our lives. Their conversation serves as a powerful reminder that embracing failure can lead to deeper understanding and stronger connections.

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Produced by Lemonada Media in coordination with King Baby.