Fail Better with David Duchovny

Episode: David Duchovny Gets Weird with Pete Holmes

Release Date: December 23, 2025
Host: Pete Holmes
Guest: David Duchovny

Episode Overview

This episode of Fail Better is an expansive, vulnerable conversation between host Pete Holmes and his guest, actor/author/musician David Duchovny. The central focus is the role of failure in creative, personal, and spiritual life, and how shame, coping strategies, and self-exploration inform everything from Hollywood careers to personal growth. The conversation flows naturally and honestly, touching on resilience, therapy, acting styles, fame, relationships, and the quest for meaning.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Why a Podcast on Failure? (04:22–07:09)

• Genesis of the Podcast: Duchovny reveals the idea for Fail Better arose during the 2023 Hollywood strikes, encouraged by his agent as one of the few creative avenues open.
• Premise: He frames the show as a space to explore failure as a universal, formative experience. Despite frequent cultural agitation to "learn from failure," Duchovny questions the sufficiency of this narrative and highlights failures that still sting.
  • Notable Quote (DD):
    “A lot of things are tinged with failure in the creative arts and in life. Even the successes can sometimes feel like that…Some failures really kind of stick.” (06:44)

2. Authenticity and Vulnerability in Podcasting (07:25–09:49)

• Holmes and Duchovny agree that modern podcasting culture can lead to canned answers and self-censorship—but both strive instead for original, honest dialogue.

• Notable Quote (DH):
  “The premise is going to fall away, as I’m sure you’ve discovered… But also inviting the guest to be vulnerable.” (07:25)

• Notable Quote (DD):
  “The problem with doing a podcast now is everybody's kind of hip to how to do a podcast... and I’m so not interested in that.” (09:00)

3. Shame, Self-Critique, and Coping (12:22–13:56)

• Duchovny opens up about the role of shame throughout his career and life—how it can underlie habitual behaviors and outlast early formative experiences.

  • Notable Quote (DD):
    “My adult life has been, why do I feel ashamed for nothing? And how that shame grows… then the shame pushes me to behave in ways that I don’t feel are constructive or loving…” (13:10)

• Both connect these themes to creative self-expression, therapy, addiction, and finding reassurance in literature, religion, and philosophy.

4. The Drive to Be Seen: Fame and Objectification (15:51–19:22)

• Holmes introduces Alain de Botton’s idea: “You can tell a person’s mental health by how badly they want to be famous.” Duchovny adds nuance, relating objectification by others—and oneself—to early childhood patterns and the paradox of seeking love by becoming an “object.”

• Notable Quote (DD):
  “At some point, we became objects to ourselves… I stopped validating my subjectiveness, in a way… I was comfortable from a very young age being watched.” (18:21)

  • Holmes and Duchovny also explore how performing—whether acting or comedy—can “fill the hole” left by early unmet needs.

5. Embarrassment, Silliness, and the Art of Acting (20:14–25:21)

• Duchovny admits acting itself often feels “embarrassing” or “silly,” yet deeply beautiful as well, especially when it fulfills the human need for storytelling.
• He recounts his upbringing, where emotional expression was less valued than intellectual or academic achievement. Acting, for him, became a safe arena for exploring and expressing feelings.
  • Notable Quote (DD): “It was not what you thought, but what you felt. And all of a sudden it’s exactly the deficit, right? Here was a space where that didn’t fly at all… and nobody got hurt.” (24:21)

6. Returning What You’ve Been Given: Education, Books, and Legacy (33:04–40:20)

• Duchovny describes his near-PhD in English literature and how years of reading (“my head was the size of a blimp” - 35:59) became a “compost heap” of ideas fueling his later novel-writing and sense of giving back.
• He challenges the American system’s focus on “what you don’t know” and advocates for celebrating what people do know and love.
  • Notable Quote (DD):
    “My work is a conversation with what I was given.” (39:14)

7. Healing, Coping, and the Usefulness of Being Broken (46:53–50:35)

• Holmes and Duchovny trade stories of how their childhood wounds—especially familial dynamics—shaped their creative urges and how being “broken” is often what makes them relatable/useful to others, especially in entertainment or podcasting.

  • Notable Quote (DH):
    “I’m not very useful until I’m broken. Broken Pete is actually one of my favorite Petes.” (47:59)

• Conversation segues into emotional regulation, coping mechanisms (fight, flight, freeze, fawn), and self-soothing practices (deep breathing, grounding).

8. On Therapy, Shrinks, and Artistic Depth (55:01–56:10)

• Duchovny and Holmes humorously debate the myth that therapy “cures” creativity or makes artists less interesting.
  • Notable Quote (DH):
    “Who made that idea? The devil?” (55:23)
  • Notable Quote (DD):
    “There’s so many good [bodies of knowledge]...it just depends on whoever’s teaching you.” (55:48)

9. Acting Style, Rejection, and "Less is More" (61:16–66:51)

• Duchovny explains how auditioning failures shaped his “less is more” style (often called “flat” or “movie star” both as criticism and praise).
• He recounts being nearly fired early in his film career (The Rapture), having to review his dailies to decide whether to quit acting. He chose to persist, trusting his instincts.
  • Notable Quote (DD):
    “I found it through failure, really… But that was my take on acting. That was my natural wavelength.” (61:31)

10. Navigating Fame, Typecasting, and Public Perception (72:46–77:15)

• Duchovny reflects on being forever linked to roles like Mulder, how that used to frustrate him but now evokes gratitude for the connection and impact.

  • Notable Quote (DD):
    "Eventually I just come to 100 gratitude—like, holy s***, it meant something to people... Why not honor it?" (74:32)

• He discusses meet and greets, fan expectations, and how gratitude—even amid discomfort—is a powerful tool. Shares memorable stories about fans requesting odd photos or referencing iconic moments.

11. Spirituality, Creativity as Process, and Deep Connection (90:19–102:29)

• The conversation moves fully into spirituality: detachment, flow, and the inherent risks in loving deeply—whether in relationships, art, or life. Duchovny relates attachment/detachment to Buddhist thought and the inevitable heartbreak embedded in being alive.

  • Notable Quote (DD):
    “With acting and with making art, you can attach so intensely to something and you know you’re going to detach eventually… But the beauty of it is really attaching to it. Even so.” (91:00)

• They discuss psychedelic experiences, intersubjective unity, and the transformative power of recognizing shared consciousness.

  • Notable Quote (DD):
    “We were all in one conversation… All the walls came down…” (97:12)

12. Joy, Humor, and Fart Jokes (106:04–107:43)

• Duchovny reveals the biggest laugh of his life was recording fart sounds from his Tesla for his film Bucky Dent—proving even after heavy existential talk, flatulence is universal comedy.
  • Notable Quote (DD):
    "I recorded the Tesla farts on my phone and we put it in the movie and then I cried... they're all Tesla farts." (106:59)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

• On Failure: “Some failures really kind of stick. What do you do about those?” – David Duchovny (06:44)
• On Shame: “Why do I feel ashamed for nothing? And how that shame grows?” – David Duchovny (13:10)
• On Objectification: “At some point, we became objects to ourselves… I was comfortable from a very young age being watched.” – David Duchovny (18:21)
• On Acting: “It was not what you thought, but what you felt. And all of a sudden it’s exactly the deficit, right? Here was a space where that didn’t fly at all.” – David Duchovny (24:21)
• On Giving Back: “My work is a conversation with what I was given.” – David Duchovny (39:14)
• On Usefulness of Wounds: “I'm not very useful until I'm broken. Broken Pete is actually one of my favorite Petes.” – Pete Holmes (47:59)
• On Artistic Depth: “Who made that idea? The devil?” – Pete Holmes (55:23)
• On Fame and Gratitude: “Eventually I just come to 100 gratitude—like, holy s***, it meant something to people... Why not honor it?” – David Duchovny (74:32)
• On Spirituality and Attachment: “With acting and with making art, you can attach so intensely to something and you know you’re going to detach eventually… But the beauty of it is really attaching to it. Even so.” – David Duchovny (91:00)
• On Humor: “I recorded the Tesla farts on my phone and we put it in the movie and then I cried... they're all Tesla farts.” – David Duchovny (106:59)

Important Timestamps / Segment Guide

• Podcast origins, theme of failure – 04:22–07:09
• Podcasting authenticity & vulnerability – 07:25–09:49
• Shame, coping, and mantras – 12:22–13:56
• Fame, objectification, performing as coping – 15:51–19:22
• Embarrassment and beauty of acting – 20:14–25:21
• Creative education and giving back – 33:04–40:20
• How wounds fuel creativity – 46:53–50:35
• Therapy vs. the "tortured artist" myth – 55:01–56:10
• Rejection, acting style, and “less is more” – 61:16–66:51
• Typecasting and gratitude – 72:46–77:15
• Spirituality, Buddhism, psychedelics, connection – 90:19–102:29
• Joy and the universality of farts – 106:04–107:43

Tone & Style Notes

• The conversation is open-hearted, irreverent, and deeply reflective—moving easily from jokes about fart scenes and Tesla jokes to meditations on legacy, spiritual connectedness, and the nature of art.
• Holmes brings a curious, warm, self-deprecating wit that encourages Duchovny’s own thoughtful, poetic, and candid reflections—frequently navigating between big questions and very personal vulnerability.
• Both speakers treat shame, failure, and even morbidity with a balance of seriousness and humor; Duchovny in particular is strikingly honest about being misunderstood, about gratitude, and about the ongoing experiment of living well.

Summary Takeaway

This episode is an unusually honest exploration of fame, creativity, and the human experience of failure—and how shame, resilience, and transformation shape art and life. Duchovny and Holmes turn their personal wounds and creative struggles into opportunities for insight and (often, unexpectedly) laughter. Listeners are treated to stories from inside Hollywood, philosophy and self-help advice, a little spiritual wisdom, and even some Tesla-fueled flatulence—all delivered in a generous, authentic spirit.