Fail Better with David Duchovny

Episode: "Fail Again: Catching Up with Gillian Anderson"

Date: December 16, 2025
Host: David Duchovny
Guest: Gillian Anderson

Episode Overview

This intimate episode reunites David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson, iconic co-stars of "The X-Files," for a deep and reflective conversation about their complicated relationship, individual failures, career evolution, and personal growth. Tied together by the overarching theme of "failing better," their exchange unearths behind-the-scenes truths about fame, communication, shame, and the enduring impact of their work on themselves and others—particularly regarding gender, agency, and public perceptions.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Dynamics of Working Together on "The X-Files"

• Duchovny and Anderson candidly discuss the complexities, tensions, and failures involved in being creative partners and co-stars:
  • Professional Distance: Long stretches of not speaking off-camera despite on-screen chemistry.
  • Lack of Communication: Both admit to never really asking each other about their lives outside work or supporting one another through personal challenges.
  • Impact of Fame: Sudden global renown in their twenties and thirties was destabilizing and amplified any issues.

Quote [06:52]:
"There was a long time working on the show where we were just not even dealing with one another off camera... there was a lot of tension, which didn’t matter apparently, for the work. Cause we’re both fucking crazy, I guess, that we could just go out there and do what we needed to do."
— David Duchovny

• Duchovny shares regret about not apologizing to Anderson when he left the show and recognizes how this may have affected her.
• Anderson opens up about the challenges of standing up for herself:

  Quote [09:19]:
  "Communication is everything. It's everything. And yet it's really hard. It's hard to be vulnerable... Any time that I tried to express myself... standing up for myself almost felt worse than keeping it inside."
  — Gillian Anderson

Timestamps:

• [06:27] On failures of friendship and co-starring
• [08:46] Duchovny reflects on quitting the show and its impact
• [09:14] Anderson on the challenges of vulnerability and communication

2. Personal Failures, Shame, and Coping Mechanisms

• Shame: Both discuss battling shame—career, personal, and societal. Duchovny speaks candidly about his public struggles, including the fallout from being outed about his sex addiction and being disliked by a city for a flippant comment.
• Failure as Growth: Both reference how shame, failure, and anxiety are constants to be worked with, not avoided, and how their upbringing contributed to their attitudes.
• Anderson mentions her capacity to compartmentalize and using work as a way to avoid engaging with shame.

Quote [40:46]:
"Would you say that's been handed down to you?"
— Gillian Anderson (to Duchovny on shame)

Quote [45:29]:
"I'm always working... I think if I worked less, I'd be able to speak to my shame a lot more." — Gillian Anderson

Timestamps:

• [40:25] Duchovny on sources of shame
• [44:08] Anderson on compartmentalization and workaholism as coping
• [42:38] Duchovny on two "epic moments" of shame

3. Parenthood and the Challenges of Letting Go

• Both wrestle with the instinct to shield their children from failure, recognizing that adversity teaches resilience.
• Duchovny discusses the struggle and futility in trying to shape how children see a celebrity parent.
• Anderson reveals the pain she feels seeing her children’s disappointments and her ongoing battle to balance work and motherhood.

Quote [48:56]:
"I find it so painful to observe them not getting what they want... you can't control anything."
— Gillian Anderson

Timestamps:

• [46:05] Anderson asks Duchovny about parenthood
• [48:24] Anderson on being a mother and managing absence
• [49:20] On the helplessness of witnessing children’s failures

4. Reflections on Gender, Agency, and the "Scully Effect"

• Anderson renegotiates her relationship with "The X-Files" legacy—especially the cultural impact of Scully inspiring women to enter STEM fields.
  • Initially resistant to "old news" topics like pay equity, she now sees their relevance and feels empowered to continue the conversation.
  • Discusses discomfort with Scully’s narrative arc being reduced to traditional feminine concerns (“literally all she could talk about was William”).
• Duchovny relates feeling boxed in by Mulder’s lack of traditional masculinity.

Quote [24:25]:
"It felt like Scully's trajectory was no longer one of strength and agency. It felt like it was beholden to an old idea of what a woman is..."
— Gillian Anderson

Timestamps:

• [25:05] Anderson on Scully’s loss of agency
• [26:25] Modern relevance of Scully and “The Scully Effect”
• [29:32] Anderson’s evolving views on activism and feminism

5. Anderson’s Drink Brand ("G Spot") and Book ("Want")

• G Spot Beverages: The drink is described as inclusive, diverse, conversation-starting, and laced with humor.
  • Initial hesitance to self-brand; eventual acceptance tied to purpose and message.
  • Social media presence discussed as a utility, not a reflection of her personal life.
• "Want": Anderson’s book collects anonymous sexual fantasies of women, aiming to challenge shame and spark honest conversations about desire—extending the message of self-acceptance and voice.

Quote [56:28]:
"The drink... as much as anything is about inclusion, diversity, acceptance, showing... what feels good to you."
— Gillian Anderson

Quote [62:20]:
"There's an element of it where I feel like I'm being of service. And so that makes it feel more worthy somehow or authentic because I really believe in the messaging that's behind it."
— Gillian Anderson

Quote [65:11]:
"It feels like it's a time for voices to be raised, and particularly women to raise their voices about what it is that they want for themselves and what they don't want to be told that they should want for themselves or told what they should and shouldn't do, shouldn't, shouldn't say."
— Gillian Anderson

Timestamps:

• [02:44] Anderson introduces G Spot, explains its properties
• [55:26] Discussion of "Want": origin, objective, impact
• [58:45] Navigating social media and branding

6. Philosophy: Want, Desire, and Eastern Thought

• Duchovny notes the philosophical tension between desires and the Buddhist ideal of ceasing want—tying back to themes in Anderson's work and her X-Files episode.
• Anderson acknowledges the contradiction and stresses the importance of women embracing and voicing their wants in the current climate.

Timestamps:

• [63:49] Duchovny references Anderson’s X-Files episode and Buddhist thought
• [64:41] Anderson on the dual nature of want

7. Memorable, Light Moments and Nostalgia

• Brief, warm anecdotes about old photoshoots, fan curiosity, and their mutual awkwardness about performative friendships in the age of social media.

Quote [66:24]:
"I have no idea, but we don't look happy."
— David Duchovny (on a 90s photo with Anderson)

Notable Quotes (with Timestamps and Attribution)

• [07:04] Duchovny: “It’s nuts. But we were so busy... it’s crazy that we were able to present on camera the various feelings... but then not speak to each other for weeks at a time.”
• [09:19] Anderson: “Communication is everything. It’s everything. And yet it’s really hard... The standing up for myself almost felt worse than keeping it inside...”
• [22:42] Anderson: “I felt like I needed to move on to something where I might have more of a voice.”
• [24:25] Anderson: “It felt like Scully’s trajectory was no longer one of strength and agency... all she could talk about was William and finding William...”
• [40:25] Duchovny: “Shame all the time. I mean, I’m a shameful person.”
• [45:34] Anderson: “I'm a workaholic, and I don't give myself time or space to think about the things that I might be shameful about...”
• [48:56] Anderson: “I find it so painful to observe them not getting what they want. You can't control anything.”
• [55:26] Anderson: "Recreating a collection of anonymous sexual fantasies from women around the world... showing... what feels good to you.”
• [62:20] Anderson: "There's an element of it where I feel like I'm being of service. And so that makes it feel more worthy somehow or authentic because I really believe in the messaging that's behind it."

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [06:27] Failures in friendship and working relationship
• [09:19] The difficulty of vulnerability and communication
• [14:08] Anderson’s early career and personal struggles
• [24:25] Scully’s loss of agency & gender representation on X-Files
• [40:25] Duchovny on shame and personal failures
• [46:05] Parenting and the challenge of letting children fail
• [55:26] The origin and purpose behind "Want"
• [58:45] Social media, personal boundaries, and branding
• [63:49] "Want," desire, and philosophical musings
• [66:24] Lighthearted moment reminiscing about an old photo

Tone

The overall tone is candid, sometimes vulnerable, and often gently humorous—two longtime collaborators and friends reflecting honestly on their flaws, regrets, growth, and ongoing attempts to “fail better.” Banter and warmth are woven through even the hardest admissions.

Takeaways for Listeners

• Even relationships forged in celebrated success can harbor profound dysfunction, misunderstanding, and regret.
• Shame and failure are universal experiences; openness to discuss them lessens their power.
• The fight for agency, equity, and authenticity is ongoing—personally and professionally.
• Public personas and media legacies (like “The Scully Effect”) have enduring, evolving impacts on culture and the individuals involved.
• True friendship and understanding come through honesty, vulnerability, and sometimes very belated conversations.

"I wanted to handle it in a way that wasn't performative. And... we managed to kind of cop to our part in a dysfunctional relationship that we had as co-workers back in the day."
— David Duchovny [Post-Interview Reflection, 68:32]

This episode is poignant not just for "X-Files" fans or those curious about celebrity friendships, but for anyone wrestling with the realities of failure, forgiveness, personal evolution, and the challenge of showing up as oneself—at work, at home, and in the world.