In this episode, Nikou speaks to Melani Ismail who – like Nikou – is the wife of an athlete, so shares some of the same experiences of being associated with her husband first in most people's minds. Nikou invites Melani on to the show to tell us who she is, how she lived before meeting her husband, while her husband was playing and now he's retired, how she has come into herself.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

I was a very good barber in LA, which got me into the entertainment world, especially the music space. I wanted to get into A&R and worked alongside P Diddy.
I met my husband after 5 years of grinding in the business when I met my husband. I was 23 years old and within 8 months we were married. It was the most shocking PTSD moment in my life. Neither of us was really ready for something so big.
Within a year, I was pregnant and the Raiders moved location, so it was just me and my son. Then, 3 months after that, he got traded to Carolina which was a major move away from family and friends.
3 years later we moved again when he joined the Cowboys. I was about to have our third baby. The football playing days were just one constant blur of moving while having babies every 20 months.
At 32 years old, a year before his contract was coming to and end, he broke his neck on the field and was paralysed. It was rough. He did regain use of his limbs, but it had aftereffects.
I started a record label in Texas, but my timing was terrible because we were supposed to release an album with him on it the week he broke his neck. I felt responsible for my employees' wellbeing, but we needed to focus on his recovery.
I wasn't always there for my kids when I was trying to rebuild the record label, I was happy building my business but miserable because I was missing my kids growing up, or tucking them in.
All my kids are incredible entrepreneurs, they watched what I was doing all those years.
Then, when I was just about to release our second album my Dad died. That was God's way of saying “you're not listening to yourself right now, you're concerned about everybody else, but you're suffering”.
Nobody likes to feel invisible, no matter who you're married to. We all want validation, to be seen and respected.
I feel the pain and trauma now more than I did back then, because I had to just keep going.
I pray tat if any woman goes through that that God gives you the grace to get through it and he'll comfort you whenever you need to grieve.
Guys go through a lot when they retire and all of a sudden they don't have the camaraderie that they had when playing sport. He went into a dark, isolating space. Luckily the NFL now reaches out to retired footballers and reintroduces them as a support network.
I knew that somewhere I wasn't addressing my purpose, I wasn't fulfilled. So, I started going to conferences (business and religious) and nothing felt good. So I fasted and shut myself away for 30 days. At the end of it I asked myself what I really want to do. I thought I want a church, but a fun church. The Fun Factory is faith based, but working with children to find what's fun for them.
In 2018 one of the kids in our neighbourhood shot another one. I cried for most of 2018. We lost three kids to gun crime in 2018, none of whom were really into any kind of trouble.
Watching my son's mental health spiral because of his friends dying was the impetus to start up the Fun Factory. It's the most rewarding work I've ever done in my life, despite having to go through all that pain.

BEST MOMENTS

‘I had a plan of what my life was going to be, but I had to put everything down to follow him and whatever he did became my life and what I did.'

‘I look back over that time and I was in the thick of it, just surviving.'

‘It wasn't easy, laid back, enjoying a lot of money, it was traumatic for the both of us.'

‘Sometimes the trials that you're put through make you who you are.'

ABOUT THE GUEST

Melani Ismail is a Conceptual Visionary. She is consistently cultivating her artistic reach through business ventures including music, literature, film, and television. She has executive produced music and film projects as well as consulting for Artists, media personalities and entertainment start-ups.

Melani speaks to a variety of audiences on various topics related to business, entertainment and personal development.

Melani is the wife of retired Football Legend, Raghib “Rocket” Ismail. They are the proud parents of four amazing children. She and her husband recently launched a non profit, The Fun Factory to provide a fun learning environment to serve the needs of the young entrepreneurial community through music, film/television, the arts and technology.

GUEST RESOURCES

Websites: www.melaniismail.com & www.funfactoryint.org

Instagram @melaniismail

Course: www.livewithmelani.com

VALUABLE RESOURCES

Email: nikoulohse@gmail.com

Follow Nikou's new Instagram!: @nikoulohse

@elev8tedtribe

Elev8ted Tribe LIVE & on demand workouts/community:

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Gut Reset program details (email me nikoulohse@gmail.com if would like to join next group, or for more information to start today on self-guided course!)

now.nikoulohse.com

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ABOUT THE HOST

Nikou Lohse is a mom of three, wife to former MLB pitcher Kyle Lohse, Master Pilates instructor, yoga teacher, and lover of all things MOVEment, MINDFULness, and commUNITY.

Nikou is a serial entrepreneur. She started her first company at 21 doing sales & marketing for Fortune 500 companies, made her first million at 24, and decided to exit at 30 in order to pursue her passion for helping others. She became a yoga, Pilates, barre, and mindfulness instructor, but her own struggle with SIBO and postpartum depression led her to redefine the way she took care of her body. Now, as a holistic health coach, she is on a mission to empower women and help them heal their gut through nutrition, movement, mindfulness, and spirituality.

CONTACT METHOD

Email: nikoulohse@gmail.com

Podcast Description

Failing forward is about the successes we find after enduring failure. Each episode is an opportunity to hear interviews and stories from professional athletes, entrepreneurs, executives, doctors, and loved ones who have fallen down, struggled, and transformed.

They'll be sharing how they got to where they are today, and the lessons they learned along the way. We'll be covering topics in entrepreneurship, careers, relationships, holistic wellness, mindfulness, gut health, and finding your competitive edge. With raw human moments and empowering information, this podcast is here to inspire you, remind you of your greatness, and give you the knowledge to up-level in every area of your life.

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