ZARNA GARG Is A Modern Day Jack Tripper

Summary

Family Trips with the Meyers Brothers: "Zarna Garg Is A Modern Day Jack Tripper"

Date: September 16, 2025
Hosts: Seth Meyers & Josh Meyers
Guest: Zarna Garg (Comedian)

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Overview

This episode features comedian Zarna Garg, known for her sharply observed, cross-cultural humor—especially about family, Indian identity, and the ever-rich topic of mothers-in-law. The Meyers brothers dive into Zarna’s upbringing in India and America, the challenges and peculiarities of family trips, the tension (and hilarity) of immigrant experiences, and the joys and letdowns of cultural exchange. Along the way, the conversation bounces through memorable vacation disasters, food, generational divides, and what it really means to bridge two worlds.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Zarna’s Unique Place in Comedy

• Zarna’s mother-in-law material is celebrated for its universality and ability to unite audiences of all backgrounds, ages, and ethnicities—a comic “evergreen” (13:31).
  • Quote: "Turns out there’s a huge market for somebody who trashes their mother-in-law. This is an evergreen topic." — Zarna (13:31)
• Her rise on social media, especially with teenagers, and her crowd work, often drawing “drama” stories from younger fans (13:47).

2. Immigration & the Ohio Connection

• Zarna's sister moved to Akron, Ohio when Zarna was a child, acting as the “North Star” guiding Zarna’s own move to the US at age 16 (15:20).
• For Zarna’s family at the time, “America” essentially meant “Akron, Ohio,” illustrating how immigrant experiences are often centered around the single city where family already resides (15:58).
  • Funny aside: The family associated “no people” in Ohio with infamous serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer, highlighting culture shock and the emptiness compared to Mumbai (17:26).

3. Culture Clash: American vs. Indian Family Trips

• Children visiting India: Zarna describes annually “dragging” her very reluctant American-born children to India—the struggle against American comfort and kid-centric fun (23:00).
  • “Every year, it’s traumatic. It’s kicking and screaming, dragging fights at the airport...the amount of yelling I have to do to get them on that flight…” — Zarna (23:12)
• American kids want “activities”; Indian relatives’ all-consuming hospitality and focus on food is often lost on them (26:09).
  • “To them, that’s love. But to an American kid from America, they’re like, ‘But what activity are we gonna do? Eating is not an activity in their world.’” — Zarna (26:09)
• Indians vacationing in the US are less interested in museums or natural wonders (Grand Canyon = “every street in Mumbai”) and more fascinated by Costco (“a sociological experiment”) (27:13).

4. Performing in India vs. America

• Zarna expresses her anxiety about performing stand-up in India due to differences in free speech, audience provocations, and the possibility of accidentally offending, especially given the political climate and sensitivity to jokes about mother-in-laws and politicians (21:05).
  • “You could very easily get in trouble because you made fun of a politician...the audience will poke you to see what you say about something controversial.” — Zarna (21:05)
• She feels more at ease being fully herself in American shows, especially with crowd work.

5. Growing Up in Mumbai: Family, Vacations & TV

• Zarna grew up in Mumbai, rarely took vacations by choice, and recalls hating family trips that prioritized parents’ desires—mainly visiting temples in Goa rather than enjoying the beach (44:09).
  • “Doing anything for the kids is not a thing in India...you’re coming with us because you’re not an adult yet.” — Zarna (43:29)
• Indian beach culture: Avoiding sun, rarely swimming “We don’t do that here. We would be counting down to sundown, and go [to the beach] just before the sun is going down for an hour, take a walk on the beach. That’s it.” (44:52, 45:40)
• Exposure to American pop culture: Visits to her sister’s home meant immersion in 1980s US TV—Three’s Company, Family Ties, Jeopardy. Bootleg copies of these shows were coveted by schoolgirls in India (32:36, 49:00).
  • "One person would come to America and record the show on their little recorder playing on their TV here and then come back and sell us copies of that...as if we’re watching someone else’s TV." — Zarna (49:00)

6. Mother-in-Law Dynamics

• Contrasts in mother-in-law/daughter-in-law vs. son-in-law relations—men always say their mother-in-law is “great”; the tension is always between women (14:19).
• Zarna’s mother-in-law has mastered technology and “manipulated” her grandkids: “She knows exactly what to say to them. So they come running to me and they’re like, ‘Grandma was very nice.’ Oh, she was not! You got played!” (62:19)

7. Life as a Comic on the Road

• Only in recent years has Zarna seen “small-town America”—especially as a touring comedian. Bentonville, Arkansas, impressed her with art, culture, and hospitality, defying urban snob stereotypes (56:01, 56:33).
• Generally prefers working and worrying over sightseeing when on the road, especially when opening for stars like Tina Fey and Amy Poehler (58:03).

8. Family Labor & Generational Gaps

• Zarna’s kids help sell her show merchandise (59:57), and her daughter now runs her podcast post-Stanford.
  • “We believe in child labor. It’s great. Why do you think I gave birth to these people?” — Zarna (59:57)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On Indian kids’ aversion to India trips:
“They do not want to go there...the crying starts the minute they get wind of the idea that we’re going. And it’s a lot. There’s nothing fun...I have lost so much hair.”
— Zarna (23:00)

On Indian parents’ vacation priorities:
“Doing anything for the kids is not a thing in India...you’re coming with us because you’re not an adult yet. That’s it.”
— Zarna (43:29)

On her mother-in-law's manipulations:
“Her birthday messages to me used to be like balloon emojis. Not even words, right? ...She figured out how to Venmo kids money on their birthday.”
— Zarna (62:19)

On living life as an Indian:
“We don’t do fun. You get that from me right now. We don’t even do fun.”
— Zarna (46:09)

On the Grand Canyon:
“This feels like every crater in Mumbai...I mean, I was happy I went because it is, you know, it is a wonder of the world or whatever. But the dam that was near it...that man-made situation was mind-blowing to us.”
— Zarna (67:43, 68:00)

On bootleg media:
“One person would come to America and record the show on their little recorder playing on their TV here and then come back and sell us copies of that. So we would watch it as if we’re watching someone else’s TV.”
— Zarna (49:00)

On being a modern-day Jack Tripper:
“You’re a modern day Jack Tripper.” – Seth
“Listen, I will take that honor. I loved him growing up.” — Zarna (50:52)

On ideal vacation partners:
Q: "If you had to be stranded on a desert island with one member of your family, who would it be?"
A: “My husband. Because I would kill him and eat him. Done.”
— Zarna (66:02)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Zarna’s comedic appeal & mother-in-law humor – 13:31
• Immigration story, Ohio as America – 15:58
• Kids’ aversion to India trips – 23:00
• Indians and American landmarks (Costco, Grand Canyon, Niagara Falls) – 27:13, 67:43, 68:49
• Conducting stand-up in India (Free speech/fear) – 21:05
• American TV in Indian childhood (bootlegging) – 32:36, 49:00
• The Goa family trips and “math on the beach” – 43:01, 45:43
• Mother-in-law/tech adaptation/manipulation – 62:19
• Touring small-town America as a comic – 56:01
• Family business: kids as the crew – 59:57
• Speed round (vacation style, favorite transport, Kardashians, desert island pick) – 64:49

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Tone & Vibe

Warm, funny, irreverent, and deeply relatable, this episode blends Zarna’s raw honesty with the Meyers brothers’ sibling banter. Stories alternate between comedic exasperation and cultural insight, offering both laughs and real talk about the complications of family and identity. Anyone with a multi-cultural background, a complicated relationship with family trips, or an appreciation for sharp observational comedy will find plenty to enjoy.

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For the Curious Non-Listener

This episode is an essential chronicle of the headaches, heartaches, and laughs of navigating family, migration, and the joys and disasters that come with travel and cross-cultural living—with plenty of universal truths and jokes about mother-in-laws along the way.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

Just ask Josh.

[A]

Visit tropicalsmoothicafe.com to find a cafe near you. Terms and conditions apply. Here we go. Hey, buddy.

[B]

Hey, Sufi.

[A]

It's very nice to see you, but I just saw you. Yeah, I know, but we had our annual get together with our college friends.

[B]

So much fun.

[A]

So tired.

[B]

I slept so hard when I got home, but had like a full day.

[A]

And we don't like go that hard.

[B]

No, no, no. The last night we were up till like 12:30, and that was by far our latest night. It was like every day I was exhausted and I'd get into bed and it would be like 11:45.

[A]

It was. We were doing. Our activities were, I would say, mid exertion level. Yeah. You know, I think we went out of our way to make sure nobody. We were nobody was in the heart attack zone. Yeah. So we went for like a very flat bike ride with.

[B]

With E bikes.

[A]

So there was E bikes. Yeah, I really. Yeah, I understood how hard we were pedaling. We played some golf. We played what a lot of golf fans are not celebratory of. We played an 11 man scramble.

[B]

But in 11 mans. I mean, it was six on five. We weren't playing one group. No, but we were playing.

[A]

We were all playing the same time. Now. We were on a course that was. There was very little traffic, so there was nobody stuck behind us while we were playing our 11 person scramble.

[B]

We would have let them play through.

[A]

We would have let them play through. Yeah. An 11 person scramble does not move as quickly as you might think.

[B]

No, I think, I mean one of my sort of lessons learned is like if you have two groups and they're know on opposite sides of the fairway or somebody's over in the rough and somebody's in the fairway, you don't have to let everyone from team A hit before team B can start hitting.

[A]

I mean again, as the lessons learned are probably not applicable because you might never be in another 11 man scramble.

[B]

But maybe that's possible.

[A]

Our listeners probably won't be there. So yeah, we. What was the other game we played? Padel.

[B]

Padel P A D E L. I think not pickleball. Not pickleball.

[A]

But it was at the pickleball facility we were at. But I liked it way more than pickleball.

[B]

I mean pickleball has swept the nation. I think every, like it's, you know, there are jokes about it in commercials. It's. Everyone's 65 year old parents are playing pickle.

[A]

It's already over.

[B]

I think it's over as soon as you play padel. If that's how it's pronounced.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Then you'll never want to pickle again.

[A]

Now I should say Pidel requires a little bit more of a build. So unlike this here.

[B]

That is true.

[A]

Glass walls. It has a little bit of racquetball to it. Yeah.

[B]

It's a soft surface.

[A]

Yeah. Which I think is good for, you know, our adult male knees.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like pickleball is like an ACL graveyard. Right. Like that's just where they go to. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

And then like the New York Times yesterday had an article about how Padel is taking over Miami and it's good riddance. But yeah, that was great. That was a good, it was a good sweat. It was probably a good night.

[A]

That was our best sweat. I feel like I'm missing some other. Was there another light lift? But I feel like maybe those were all the light lifts. Yeah, that could be. There was the fantasy football draft. It's like a two hour draft.

[B]

Yeah. I mean everyone, I think maybe some weirdo of our friends, it's maybe their favorite thing. But it's the worst part of the draft.

[A]

It's the worst part. And also like it's the worst part because you, you do have to pay attention to the draft so that when it's your turn to pick it doesn't slow everybody down. And so it does kind of freeze up. Chit chat.

[B]

Yes, it does freeze up chitchat. I don't think you need to be paying attention. That Closely. Because I don't. Paying attention wouldn't help my technique because I don't know what's happening anyhow.

[A]

Right. I think that we have, you know, let's be honest. We have, like, four friends who, if they're not paying, like, the closest attention, are immediately lost. Yeah. So I encourage and celebrate when they pay attention. But, yeah, I agree it's the worst two hours, but it's the ruse.

[B]

It is. It's a necessary evil for fantasy football.

[A]

I think if our wives watched us, like, do the draft, they'd be like, oh, I don't know if you need to be gone all weekend. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. This is the draft.

[B]

Yeah. There's an argument to be made that you would be more efficient if we just did it online.

[A]

Yeah. But let's just keep that argument to ourselves. Right? Yeah.

[B]

Pashi deal.

[A]

There you go. But it was great, and it was awesome to see everybody. We've got the, you know. And again, my podcasting began with this group of guys. Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

There was Sufi. We have one of our friends, Doug Stradley, lives in Maine. His team is the Maine Mooses. And you and Stradley started a fantasy football podcast just for the people in our league. So 12 people max.

[A]

And it would show up on your podcast app. Yeah.

[B]

Which I don't know.

[A]

And the first one, again, we did it during COVID because, you know, we had time to start 12 person. Not a 12 person podcast. A podcast for 12 people.

[B]

Really? For 10 as well.

[A]

Because for 10. Right. Cause we're doing it. But I remember when the first one got delivered, I said, oh, my God, CBS Sportsline. Cause that's the app we use. And they write these recaps. Their AI bot, like, writes recaps of the league. Yeah. And I said, hey, it's so crazy. There's this new feature where it makes a podcast based on your league. And so everybody started listening, thinking it was going to be like, this week, the main Mooses defeated the Gist, but instead it was us. And it was very. It was wonderful. And then our friend Jake. And again, this is the. I still can't get over how funny this joke was.

[B]

So, I mean, real quick, the title of the podcast became Sufi and the Mooseman.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And there would occasionally be guests.

[A]

Yes. So every now and then we would have Jake. Yeah.

[B]

I mean, the best guests. When you first started, you would have. The children of our friends would come on.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, so, you know, Leo Brinkley would come on and, you know, has great. A great deal of football knowledge. And it was like a great way to have conversations with, you know, kids that I don't really know that well, these teenagers. And you hadn't done it in a couple years. You hadn't had a podcast in a couple years because. Well, we have this podcast and you have other podcasts.

[A]

I got a lot of podcasts going on. Yeah.

[B]

And the morning some of us were arriving to the draft, or it was midnight, maybe midnight the night before, people were gonna be showing up. You dropped a new one, which I just. I couldn't believe. I told you I almost started crying when I was walking downstairs at mom's house with one earbud in. Just. Cause I hadn't heard you guys do it in so long. So it's Sufi.

[A]

And we recorded at 10pm on Labor Day night. That was the. So. Yeah, but it was. It was Sufi. And the Moose man. And then Jake popped in.

[B]

Right.

[A]

As our special guest. Our friend. So then Jake made T shirts for the draft, but it was Sufi. And the Mooseman T shirts. And with Jake. Yeah.

[B]

And he just made three.

[A]

He just made three. One for him and then one each for us. And it's me. Is me on a podcast mic.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But then the Mooseman is a moose. And it's a really good podcast logo. It's like one guy at a microphone and then a Mooseman on the other one. And then Jake had one too. And then Jake put his on, and I'd already looked at mine. I was like, this is really good. And on Jake's. I'm bald. Not bald bald. Like, I've got, like, side hair.

[B]

Yeah, you've got that. Like, I'm like, principal bald. Yeah, yeah, Principal bald is good.

[A]

And I'm like, what? And to this I'm like, what made you. And he just couldn't stop laughing. And I will say it is undeniably one of the funniest things.

[B]

Yeah, Yeah. I made one for you and Stradley.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

The sort of official logo. And then he had one as well.

[A]

Where I'm bald with you.

[B]

Bald.

[A]

Completely bald. Up top.

[B]

Great bit.

[A]

He also made a T shirt. Oh, we also. We did a Secret Santa at our draft.

[B]

See, these are things you couldn't do if we did it all remotely.

[A]

Yeah, that's true. So, yeah, we tell our wives, like, oh, okay, we'll just do a Secret Santa remote. Secret Santa Again, we just have dumb ideas every year. This year was a Secret Santa. We all got randomly signed each other's names and we have. I would say we're like, split right down the middle of people in our college cohort who are huge fish fans and don't care much for the music of fish at all. Yeah. And Kevin is a huge fish fan and Jake is not. And Jake, for Secret Santa, got Kevin a fish shirt, which, if you've ever seen or like, it's the shape of a fish and the letters P H, I, S H R are in within the body of the fish. Yeah. So it looks like a fish T shirt, but when you get up closely, it spells out trash.

[B]

And Kevin, like, I'm not a crazy. I'm not. I'm not. Definitely not a fish fan. Kevin asked if I wanted it and I was like, I don't like them and I make fun of them, but I wouldn't want to, like, wear something like that around. I feel like you don't want to.

[A]

Insult their fan base. Yeah, yeah. So. But. But he's like, yeah.

[B]

I feel like Jake's like, I wore it to a fish show. And it's like, oh, okay.

[A]

Yeah, There you go. We got a great guest for you guys today. Zarna Garg.

[B]

Zarna Garg, a comedian who is so funny.

[A]

She's got the goods.

[B]

She's got the goods.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

A lot of mother in law humor and really just such a great conversation. I'm already hoping I bump into Zarna in real life again because I can't imagine having anything less than one a wonderful time with her.

[A]

So enjoy our chat with Zarda and thanks for listening.

[B]

Family trips with the Mice Brothers.

[C]

Family chips with the M.

[A]

Here we go. Hello, hello, hello, Hello, Sarnagar. Cause I live and breathe. How are you, Arna?

[C]

So excited to be here. I'm so good. How are you guys?

[A]

We're really great. Do you remember meeting Josh?

[C]

I did. I. Where did we meet? Oh, did we meet? Did we meet at the Beacon? That's where we were.

[B]

No, not at the Beacon. I went to a Restless Leg show, Amy and Tina show, and you opened for them at the Yamava Casino.

[C]

Oh, in la. Right, right, right, right. Okay. I knew it was related to the show. Yes.

[B]

Yeah, but, man, you took that stage. And the length of time it takes for you to get an audience on your side is like a snap of a finger. You're so good. You're so good and so funny, and I was delighted to meet you that night and delighted to watch you perform. And I'm delighted to get this opportunity to chat with you today.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[A]

It's not an easy, by the way. Like, you know, it's never easy. Warm up is such a skill. But when people are there to see Amy and Tina and you know, obviously it's going to change as the years pass, but a lot of them, I think, are laying eyes on you for the first time, Zarna. And it is true, like, how quickly people who are, I think, so antsy to see these two heroes of theirs are like, now who's this person? Oh, like that fast, like, oh, yeah. Well, I hope Amy and Tina aren't in a rush to come out.

[C]

It turns out that there's a huge market for somebody who trashes their mother in law. This is an evergreen topic.

[A]

It's evergreen. It crosses all ethnic, all financial strata, nobody.

[C]

It actually even crosses generations. Because a lot of times I get teenagers, you know, I'm a tiktoker, right. And teenagers tune in because they know the drama that their grandmother and mom are going through or whatever. Like, so they all. You would think, why would the kids care? But they care. They get involved all the time.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

I feel like my mother in law, who considers herself more of a mother outlaw is what she prefers to be called, but she's more active on social media than I am, so I feel like if I started trashing her, she would just destroy me.

[C]

The thing is, it never works that way because generally the mother in laws are good to their son in laws. The tension is always the other way. The tension is always between the mother in law and the daughter in law. I do this in my live shows. When we do crowd work, I'll go around and ask about people's mother in laws. Invariably all the men are like, my mother in law is great, but it's not a coincidence. It's always like that. It's always the women that are getting into little catty situations.

[A]

I also think my mother in law, who I often make jokes about, sees it as an act of love. She's very happy that I'm on stage, choosing to use my time to discuss her. Whereas if Alexi was a standup doing material about mom, I think it would be a different. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that bounce would be a little different.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

All right. So Zarna, you were. You grew up in Mumbai.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And how long. When did you leave Mumbai? How old were you?

[C]

I was 16 when I came to America.

[A]

Gotcha.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And so how. Siblings. What was your sibling situation?

[C]

So my. I have two brothers who live in India and who continue to live in India today and are very happy there. And I have one sister who moved to America when I was very young. When I was seven or eight years old, she got married. And we are many years apart in age. So she's lived in America a long time, and she still lives where she moved to in Akron, Ohio. So Ohio has played a big role in my life.

[B]

Great.

[A]

Was she sort of the North Star for you when you started thinking that you wanted to move to America? Do you think you would have done it if she hadn't come first?

[C]

Well, I couldn't have done it. It's not even an option because she helped me move here. You know, we see when immigrants move, like, especially the Indians, they don't really know anything about America. They just know something about the one place where their relative is living. So to us in India, America was Ohio at the time specifically accurate? Specifically, we were like, no, no. We know what goes on there, and we've seen the Walmart there, and we think we know America. So I couldn't have come if she wasn't living here. And she very, very graciously invited me to live with her while I was a student, which is how I moved to America as a student.

[B]

Gotcha. When you were younger and she had just moved, would the whole family come to visit her?

[C]

Yes. So we did. And it was like a whole revelation because Ohio, as you can expect, is not New York and not la. And, you know, it was like, any part of India is like New York or LA in terms of density of population. Right. You see people everywhere in India. You go to Ohio and suddenly you're like, where is everybody? It's like, there's no people. You're driving by acres and acres of land with nothing. And the year that I moved to Ohio in 1992, you know who was in the news? Jeffrey Dahmer. And he is from Akron, Ohio.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

So that's why there were no people.

[C]

We were like, my God, this is what people do in their big houses in America.

[A]

Was it. Was that absence of people? Did that make you uneasy? Was it sort of a reverse claustrophobia?

[C]

I think it made me nervous. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Because. Because there's a comfort that you get when there's a lot of people around. It feels safer, even though we know it's not. Like, you know, if something happens, like, things happen in the New York City subway and people just watch, that's a false sense of security. People are not gonna get involved. But you feel safer when there's humanity around. So in the beginning years, and also, not everybody that comes from abroad knows how to drive. Right. So I remember being very stressed out about, like, immediately having to learn how to drive, which was also fine. Cause I was young. That didn't rattle me. But the weather, it's like everywhere I went, it was like, be careful of black ice. And you can't see it, but it's there. You know, a big part of living in that part of Ohio is like, the weather. It's the Northeast. The nor' easter is coming.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

See, India is so matter of fact that, like, a big hurricane will come and kill, like, thousands of people. And people are like, well, it happened.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, you can't fight the weather.

[C]

Yeah. They're like. But in America, everybody's trying to protect against everything always. So I remember thinking, like, wow, you spend so much time on the news talking about the weather that we never. That's something we were never accustomed to. All the graphs and charts they show you, and they show you how the wind is gonna move. And like, who cares? What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do about it?

[B]

That's like pilots that tell you what the is when we're in the sky, it's like, yeah, makes no difference to me. I just. I'm gonna get on the ground and I'm gonna be able to see my hand in front of my face, aren't I? Like, then, yeah, then I'm good.

[A]

I don't think I even knew anything about weather in India until that movie Monsoon Wedding. Genuine or like, oh, it seems like this is a big deal in regards to wedding planning.

[C]

Yes. And I was just there two, three weeks ago. I was in Mumbai, and it is peak monsoon season right now. You have to understand, life goes on. It's like, flooded. It is flooded. Seth, if you went from America, you would look out from your hotel and be like, I can't go anywhere. Like, you're looking out. It's like two feet of water, and yet people are, like, marching through it, trying to get.

[B]

So do you have good rain gear for monsoon season or you just. You're gonna dry off eventually?

[C]

I've become so American, I went with the whole thing. I went with my boots. And, you know, I've lived here so long that I thought, I'm gon beat the weather.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And then in two minutes, everything stopped working. The umbrella folded over and the boots got flooded with the water. I was like, okay, this isn't going to work.

[A]

Do your old friends see? And you're like, oh, my God, Zarna, you've changed with your boots, your umbrella.

[C]

Well, they Were making fun of me? Yes, absolutely. There were a lot of memes going around.

[A]

Let's just say I want to get to your childhood. But just because you mentioned you just went back, what's an. On an average, how often do you go back to India?

[C]

I go back once or twice a year, but now it's new because I perform there sometimes. I have a lot of resistance to performing there, but I have started doing it, and that has changed how I travel to India.

[A]

What is the resistance? Where does it come from?

[C]

Fear. See, in America, saying whatever you want is so normalized that you forget that that's not how the rest of the world lives. You know, you could very easily get in trouble because you made fun of a politician. And, you know, you know, comedy, like crowd work moments, you don't know what's gonna pop up. And the Indian audience is very eager to get involved. And I do a lot of crowd work in my shows. Like, not for Tina and Amy, you wouldn't see that because that's not what that show is about. But in my own shows, I do a lot of crowd work. And in the us I don't worry about it at all. I say and do whatever I want. But in India, it's like the audience will deliberately poke you to see what you say about something controversial. And God forbid you say something crazy. It's like, now they're all going to come down on you. So I've been very hesitant to perform there because I know how angry the community can get.

[A]

Right. And the government's like 85% mother in laws. Right. Which is really problematic for you.

[C]

Exactly. They all are gonna side with that wicked wench.

[A]

I get all the way. I mean, you know, Josh and I, every now and then, you know, when you have to go back somewhere where you're the most known and do a show, it is far more stressful than, you know, going to Columbus, Ohio, where the joy is they're excited that you've come, whereas these people are like, all right, we remember you. What's up?

[C]

Yeah, yeah, of course. And they're eager to criticize because it's so much easier to criticize than to create.

[A]

So when you was bringing your three children, did you bring them back? Was that a big part of their upbringing to go back to India at least once a year?

[C]

Yeah. And they went to. No.

[A]

Ever. No, no, no. Age where they're honest.

[C]

I'm telling you, I would get flamed if I said this on an Indian podcast. But I'm gonna tell you the Truth. They do not wanna go there.

[B]

And they've been going for years. Your kids are 22, 19, and 13.

[A]

Is that true?

[C]

Yes. And they've been going their whole lives. And every year, it's traumatic. It's kicking and screaming, dragging fights at the airport, and it's the amount of yelling I have to do, to do to get them on that flight. It's like, it's. And the bribing, because as they got older, it was like, I couldn't even force them then. It had to become like a negotiation. I'll get you this, I'll get you that, I'll give you spending money. You know, when you come back, you can do this and that. Oh, my God, I have lost so much hair. And the thing is that my husband, we're both Indian, right? He's not particularly attached to India at all. He's like, I don't know why you're doing any of this. If they don't want to go, just let's not go. But I've taken it upon myself to be like, we're gonna keep the culture, you know, whatever. And my husband just sits back and watches the whole show because he thinks the whole fight is unnecessary. He's like, if we don't wanna go, let's go to Italy. And I'm like, we're not going to Italy. We're Indian people. We're not going.

[A]

It's so funny. Do you have family there? Do you feel like, is it the culture or is it also that you have family?

[C]

Both our families live in India, and they are still. Still live in the homes that we grew up in. And to me, it's important that we go and show our kids and be part of our world. But my husband, he is so American, he's like, let's go to Prague. I mean, why are we going to Prague?

[A]

Do you think your kids hesitation to go is that they are just. They're so American now that the cultural shift is too hard?

[C]

India trip is a very hard trip.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

For anybody. It's a big trip. It's like, you gotta prepare. I mean, when they were little, there were all kinds of shots they had to take. Like, so that's how the trip starts. You need to take four extra shots.

[A]

Right?

[C]

So already a bad sign. Right. For a kid.

[B]

And also kids famously not super down to get a bunch of shots.

[C]

That's what I'm saying. Their friends are going to Disney and buying T shirts, and we're going to the pediatrician and, like, loading up on the Shots.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Now you can understand why. It's like the crying starts the minute they get wind of the idea that we're going. And it's a lot. It's like, it's not fun. There's nothing fun for them to do. They have to hang out with grandma and hang out with uncle and auntie and Indian people. They're so full of love. They're so full of love. Like you go to India, Seth. If you and Josh went to India. And if I called my family and said, you know, my friends are coming to India, they don't know you at all. Right. My mother in law barely speaks English, doesn't know much of English tv. Now she's learning, by the way, by necessity. Yes. But if I told her, she would be like, oh, my God, let me host them for lunch, let me host them for dinner. They're very hospitality oriented people like that. And to them that's love. But to an American kid going from America, they're like, but what activity are we gonna do? And eating is not an activity in their world.

[B]

Were there truly no activities where they're not sort of. There's not a zoo or there's not a sort of, I don't know, a museum that you'd go to or.

[A]

No.

[C]

No Indian is going to a museum ever. No. My God, no. Indians come to America and their number one spot, number one stop is Costco.

[A]

Mm.

[C]

That's where they want to go. I'm being honest. Like, if you're going to do anything that is remotely culture, you're going to get Disney. That's it.

[A]

Gotcha.

[C]

I remember once I recommended to a relative of mine, they were close to Arizona. I was like, you should go see, you know, Grand Canyon. Grand Canyon, right. I'm like, oh my God, you're almost there. And they went on my recommendation and I was trolled for it so hard in the family group chat. This is like every street in Mumbai. Why did you send us here? People pay money to come here and look at this crater. What is this? They could not see it.

[A]

Is the purposes of a Costco trip to buy in bulk and bring back home?

[C]

No, it's a sociological experiment. It's like, what is this big giant thing? No one has seen a store that big. No one has seen crates of water and yogurt that you could swim in. This yogurt?

[A]

Yeah. So it's just, it's so, in a way that is their museum is they.

[C]

Just to see to them. It's like they've seen some version of it on American TV or in a movie or something. And now they're going to see it in real life. And then they all do get excited. Invariably, a relative from India will come to America and go back and suddenly we will all get gifts of big, giant bottles of shampoo. Because when they were in Costco, they got excited and, like, couldn't control themselves because we've all been there. But you're like, of course I need 20 of these.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And then you shove them in your bags and you show up with them in India and you're like, what did I do? What am I going to do with all of this?

[B]

I don't even like this shampoo.

[A]

Hey, we're going to take a quick break and hear from some of our sponsors. Support comes from Mint Mobile. Do you struggle with procrastisaving, Paschi?

[B]

Oh, I guess I do.

[A]

Yeah. You know, that's when you put off doing something that could save you a ton.

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Yeah, I do. I do that.

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Hurry. Doesn't like talking on the phone. Unless Dad's talking on the phone to you, in which case she wants in.

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And she wants to correct the record.

[A]

Yeah, but get her on the phone by. By yourself. And it's like it's. By the time she says hello, the call's halfway over.

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[A]

Here we go. Did you come to America ever before you Moved to America?

[C]

Yes, Yes, I had.

[A]

How many times did you come?

[C]

Very many times. My sister lived here, so we used to visit her all the time, which is why I was familiar with every sitcom back. You go back to 1980. I'm familiar with all the sitcoms, all the TV shows, Three's Company, Family Ties, Growing Pains, I Dream of Jeannie.

[A]

So you would come and it would just be a lot of sitting and watching American television. And that was plenty.

[C]

Yeah. No, and it was in the air. It's not that. That's all I did, but it was there, like. And all the game shows, the prices. I remember being mind blown, like, oh, my God, everybody's gonna be like, how much did that milk cost? That's a TV show.

[A]

It is. I mean, it is the fun of a monoculture that if you came and visited America back then, you only basically had to be here for a week and you knew everything that everybody was talking about. Like, there was no splintering.

[C]

The thing is that TV was so new back then in India that anything on TV in India was miserable and sad. It was all news, all the time. It was like. And then this earthquake happened in this part of India, and all these people. And then you come to America and it's all this dazzling, slick, you know, black top shows where it's like, people are winning. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. You know, it's like people are winning money, Jeopardy. I remember being obsessed with Jeopardy. I was like, people get paid to remember all this random nonsense. Like, what is this?

[A]

So were you when you were a kid and then you were taking that family trip to visit your sister. Was that something where. Is everybody excited to go to America?

[C]

Yes, absolutely. That was the thing. To do it even today is no joke. Today you are in India, you're anywhere in Asia, and you're going to America. You're going somewhere. You're like, wow. You know, everybody wants to know what you're doing, what you're eating. How big is the food? That's a big thing. How big is the food? Cause the portions are so huge. Not New York and LA as much, but, like, you go to middle America and it's like, it's not just a burger. The whole thing is gonna fall off your plate. You know, the love for America is so real back home that it's actually amusing to me as an immigrant here to see all the hate Americans feel for themselves.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Would you, on those trips to Akron, would there ever be outings? Like, group outings?

[C]

Yeah. But, you know, to wear crazy Chuck E. Cheese.

[A]

Oh, Chuck E. Cheese. I mean, that's great. Yeah, I believe that.

[C]

How can you not? Like, I remember being a kid and then taking my kids, even my kids when they were little. And we used to go back to Akron. My sister still lives there. The first day was always a Chuck E. Cheese. Like, it's like at the shrine we had to visit because it was so nice and the kids had such a blast and, you know, you just could not do it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

My mother will sometimes cut out articles from the newspaper and just write a couple little words on them sometimes. And she sent me, I got an envelope from her and I opened it up and there were two articles from the Boston Globe. And one of them was about how there was a local Chuck E. Cheese. And Chuck E. Cheese was deciding to get rid of Change, their animatronic band. And all she wrote on it was, uh, oh, and then like three weeks later there had been like rallying cries to like, keep these animatronic bands. And they decided, we're gonna keep them. And then she sent me the follow up article and said, great news. Yes, it had been saved. Given a reprieve.

[C]

Saved the band. Saved the band. I mean, we've all had birthday parties. I don't know if you guys ever had birthday parties where they're like the, you know, Chucky and his buddies came out and they did their little thing.

[A]

Oh, of course.

[C]

Yeah. I mean, we grew up with it. My kids grew up with it for many years. The deal couple of years when they absolutely would not want to go to India was that, okay, now we're going to spend the summer in Akron, Ohio then, because if we absolutely couldn't do India, we went to visit my sister and like did that family thing and that they didn't mind so much because there's a lot of sports in the Cleveland area. Lot of baseball, basketball, any of it. They wanted that. They wanted all that. They didn't actually care which the team was or whatever. They just wanted to go to an event and that was fun for them.

[A]

The Indian Board of Tourism right now is saying, we're behind Akron.

[B]

And when you go to your sisters, do you guys roll in five people deep and you stay with her?

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

At five. Sometimes even more sometimes. See, the Indian way is a very community based way of living. So it's not even five. I might have an Indian friend in New York whose kid wants to go because they're friends with my kid and they'll be like, well, just Go her, your sister, my sister. It's all the same. So we would often have friends of my kids who would come with us or relatives of, you know, or people stop by. Road trips as, you know, a big deal in America. We would have people be like, we'll do a road trip. We'll go to Pennsylvania. We'll go to Akron. We'll do two, three things and come back. So it was always. It was often more than just us five.

[B]

Yeah. How would you get to Akron? And where are you coming from to get there?

[C]

Usually New York. I mean, I've lived in New York for 26, 27 years now, so my life has been centered around Manhattan and early days. We used to drive a lot, but that's a whole. Another miserable experience. You know, with the kids, it was never the amount of time we thought it was gonna take. And then all the crying and, oh, my God. And then every pit stop we had to make.

[A]

Who is more likely to lose their temper with the children, you or your husband?

[C]

My husband, never. Because he's the forever good cop. It's always me. My kids could eat candy till they exploded. And you would be like, it's fine. It's their choice.

[B]

They lived a great life.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean, they loved what they did.

[C]

He would be like, give it to me. Let's all eat it. You know, I'm the one who has to always step in and be like, don't do this, don't do that. And he doesn't understand it. Even to this day. He's like, everybody just do what you want. You know, he doesn't want to take an exam, whatever. Call his teacher and say, it's not happening. You know, because he knows that I'm the hyper one in the background, like, constantly making stuff happen. I was about to say, shit, but. And now I say, save.

[A]

Good save.

[B]

So were your kids.

[A]

Were your kids Manhattan kids?

[C]

Yes. Born and raised on this island? Yes.

[A]

Interesting. Cause I will say, like, you know, I. Cause I feel like a trip to India, which I feel like my wife, who, like, loves adventure and I think sees what maybe I perceive as chaos, she perceives as, like, an incredible adventure.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

And so she's, like, drawn to it, whereas I'm like, ooh, I don't know if I'm cut out for it. I don't know if I could rise to the occasion. But even as Manhattan kids, your kids are like, no, no, thanks.

[C]

The thing is, they're not. It's not like they're intimidated by it. And just so everybody Knows and to help my Indian tourism out. Going to India from a logistics point of view is very easy because everybody there speaks English.

[A]

Right.

[C]

Everything is laid out to assist. Like there is a tremendous amount of luxury that you can get for a very little amount of money where you are handled from door to door. It's actually an extremely luxurious trip if you should choose to travel that way, which a lot of people from America choose just cause it makes everything easy. From the minute you land and the airport door opens, you are taken care of till the minute you get back on the airplane. It's not that, it's that Manhattan kids and I'm sure it's true of all your kids, they want to do something when they are somewhere and not just look like. My kids don't want to look at things. They want to be active, they want to play a sport, they want to watch a sport, they want to. You know, all that is very limited in India. You can't do all that. You go there, you hang out, you hang out with family, you go with another family. 90% of your trip in India is gonna be about what you're gonna eat and where. That's it. Food is a big part.

[A]

Do you look forward to getting back and eating authentic Indian made cuisine in India or does New York cover it well enough that you don't feel like you miss it?

[C]

New York covers it very well. And also no, I don't look forward to it because honestly I'm 50, I can't afford to eat like that.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

So it's actually torture for me. I can't afford to eat all the things I ate 30 years ago. You know, 30 years ago we didn't even, we didn't know anything. We started our day with ice cream. We were so crazy. You go to an go to if and when you go to India you will see. And this is so crazy because every American person that goes loses their mind over this. A nice hotel, which is where you would stay. Any nice hotel that you see an breakfast is a big deal in India. Big deal. The breakfast buffet is like a wedding banquet. They will have Japanese food, they will have Chinese food, they will have Indian food. They will have like you know, making fresh dumplings for breakfast. They're making rolling fresh sushi and then the full spread of Indian food. And then of course for the Americans, continental American breakfast. So people go and three hours they're eating breakfast. They haven't left breakfast yet. Because it's even visually it's a lot to take in. It's One of the things that every American person comments on, they're like, we can't believe. And a lot of socializing and hanging out happens over breakfast. So you meet the other people in the hotel. It's very social. If you're.

[A]

Those are, like, three of my favorite cuisines. I think I would have a very hard time eating.

[C]

See, now I've sold you an India trip. Seth Meyers.

[A]

Yeah. So, yeah, yeah, I want a multifaceted breakfast buffet.

[B]

When you were growing up, did you guys take any family vacations? Would you get out of Mumbai ever?

[C]

Yes, all the time. And I hated it as a kid. I remember.

[B]

Where would you go?

[C]

I hated it. Other than Akron, India itself has a very lovely beach town called Goa. Very pretty beach town. It's like. It's like Martha's Vineyard or Nantucket. Like, that kind of vibe. I mean, nowhere as luxurious and posh as that, but yet that vibe. Beautiful beaches. My family would go when we were young, but, oh, my God, it was so miserable to go with my parents. I never wanted to go.

[A]

Why? What's wrong?

[C]

No, because doing anything for the kids is not a thing in India, you know? Here, you might ask your kids, what do you want to do? This is what you prefer. That is not how people live back home. The people back home are like, this is what we're doing, and you're coming with us because you're not an adult yet. That's it. So it was a lot of getting dragged around and doing things that I really didn't want to do or visiting people that I didn't really care about. A lot of it with my. When I was young, was going to the temple in Goa. You're in Goa. Literally, it's a beach. And what we would be doing is hunting for the nearest temple.

[A]

And now what's a temple? Temple day. Like, is it just to see what the inside of the temple is, or is it about going to services?

[C]

But it's like, it. Exactly. There's like, now you. Now you can't just go to the temple and take a photo. Now you got the priests, and they're gonna do this. And it was always dragged out. And my mom was a little religious, so there was always that, like, let's see what a temple looks like and go, it's always the same. It looks the same. But she would make. And that felt even worse. I was like, we got on an airplane. We can see the beach, but we cannot go to the beach because we're going this way to the temple.

[A]

What are we doing so you never would you ever was young Zarna ever lying on the beach over the course of a year.

[C]

But Indians don't do that. That's just not a thing. We don't do that. We don't do that here. If you go to the beaches in Connecticut and the Hamptons here, right, you will see the Indians start coming out around 6pm we're not obsessed with the sun. We're running away from it. We're like, that's a new thing for us. We used to have a house in Connecticut for many years and it had a beach. Westport is a beach town. Beautiful beach town. Right. All my American friends would be like, the sun is out. Let's go. And it was a learning curve for me because I was like, why? I couldn't understand why they were going out. We would be counting down to sundown and go just like, just before the sun is going down for an hour, take a walk on the beach. That's it. The idea of laying on a beach never occurred to any of us.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So you wouldn't get in the ocean?

[C]

No, never. No, no, no, no, no, Never. No. You sit on the beach. You sit on the beach and you do your math homework. No, of course. I have a very viral video about this. I'm going to send it to you guys. It's actually based on true story. No, no, look, we're Indian. We don't do fun. You should get that from me right now. We don't do even fun.

[B]

Goa. I imagine since then I like, I know that it has. It's evolved. There's like, there's a real, like dance culture there.

[C]

Yes, yes.

[B]

Was there. I mean, maybe you were too young and maybe it wasn't really going off like it has in the last maybe 20 years.

[C]

I was too young. My parents were too boring.

[B]

Okay. So you would hear these parties going on.

[C]

Yes. And I would be like, I want to go there. And my dad would be like, you have to study for this exam. And literally his whole life was like, how can I torture her more?

[B]

Gotcha.

[C]

And not physically torture. It was a lot of like, oh, my God, we have to prepare for this. It was. Prepare for that. That's how Indian people live. There was a dance culture. There still is. It's a very fun place if you allow yourself to have fun.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And was there any of that sort of teenage rebellion? Would you or any of your siblings ever, like, sneak out to go do any of these things that you wanted to do, but that your parents Would prevent you from doing so.

[C]

By the time I became a teenager, I also then stopped. I lost interest. See, what happens is you become part of your family. Like, you know, you become part of what world you grew up in. I didn't grow up in the culture that went out dancing and all, but we grew up in a very politically conscious situation. Like, my dad was a lawyer himself, so it was a lot of, like, this is happening in the world. That's happening. And so by the time I was a teenager, I was doing all kinds of, like, political things. I was campaigning for people that were my friends, parents. So those of us kids who were involved in the civic life, what they call in India's the civic life, we would, like, go and campaign. We would go to exotic towns and villages because all these political people needed to campaign. And the parents of these would drag us kids around because it would be, like, something fun to do for, you know, everybody was always looking for ways to connect to the average American. Like here, when the politicians do their rounds, you see, like, the president shaking hands with people. Right. In India, entire families will show up because they'll be like, get to know us. Get to know us. Get to trust us. You're gonna see why you should vote for us. So I was caught up in that whole world when I was a teenager, because by then, I, too, had started learning all the things that could exist. I mean, Three's Company. God bless Three's Company. I don't think the creators of Three's Company knew what effect they were having to women in India, because for the first time, we realized not everybody has to get married to live together.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. Was Three's Company on over there at some point when you.

[C]

No bootleg copies. Always.

[B]

Oh, wow.

[A]

Where would you get a bootleg copy? Would you, like, go to, like, a market where they would have it out?

[C]

So one person would come to America and record the show on their little recorder playing on their TV here and then come back and sell us copies of that. So we would watch it as if we're watching somebody else's tv.

[B]

So it would be like a video camera shooting the screen of a television. Okay.

[C]

Yep. And it was very organized. Like, the entire season showed up somehow.

[A]

How did your. Were your. Did your parents. Were they okay with that when you were watching bootlegged? Okay. Did you have to do it when they weren't paying attention?

[C]

Yeah. But you know what's crazy? I'll tell you guys something that you won't even believe today. Women in the Middle East And Asia watch my comedy under the covers. There are so many women who are not allowed to watch my comedy because I speak out what they call. I'm not being a cultural person and I'm speaking out against the mother in laws. I have had this experience in New York City here in Manhattan in Empire State Building actually, where I was invited to do the lighting or whatever they do. You know, there's like some event they do where you light up the building. And I was there to do that. And this Indian celebrity was visiting with his wife and the wife of the celebrity saw me and got so excited. She's like, oh my God, you're the lady who makes mother in law jokes. Like, she was very enthusiastic and excited and her husband, who's a celebrity, saw her and held her hand and said, you don't need to talk to her and walked away from us.

[B]

Oh, my goodness. Whoa.

[C]

Yeah. Can you believe. See, you can't believe that in America because you're like, what is she doing? She's just making jokes.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

But in that part of the world, a lot of women today are not allowed to watch me the same way I wasn't allowed to watch Three's Company because it was a show about two women and a man living together.

[A]

You're a modern day Jack Tripper.

[C]

Listen, I will take that honor. I loved him growing up.

[A]

Oh my God. Who did? Yeah.

[C]

Come and knock on my door.

[B]

The opening credits sequence to that show is just incredible as well. The song was so long and it was just so goofy. And them walking through the zoo.

[A]

It's like 70%, 30% of the show was the opening.

[C]

And they were all so cute. I remember when the landlady changed. I was so stressed out when Mrs. Roper was a different Mrs. Roper. I was like, what happened?

[A]

No, well, yeah. Cause you had Mr. Florida Furley and then you had the Ropers and. Yeah, yeah, we went through a lot. It was a very traumatic time for people listening that did not have to engage in the way the landlords changed on three Company. It was. It was a lot.

[B]

Hey, we're going to take a quick break and hear from some of our sponsors.

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Actually, dad would probably like his name and information out in the real world because he looking to chat.

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Hey. The New York Times wirecutter, which is no small thing, is named Delete Me, their top pick for data removal services. And look, as someone with an active online presence, privacy is really important to me. I don't like the fact that people might know where I live or what my phone numbers are, what my email address is because I don't want to hear their opinions unless they are praise, in which case you can reach me at don't tell them.

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[B]

Hey Sufi.

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[C]

No. Yeah, not for a long time. We had no desire. We were so happy in Akron.

[A]

Yeah, right.

[B]

Did you go to college in Akron?

[C]

Yes, I graduated from the University of Akron, and then I went to law school in Cleveland, Case Western Reserve Law School, which is a small private university, but I have a law degree from there. So we would travel. Like, if somebody was visiting or there was a wedding or something happening. We were, but it wasn't a priority. Truthfully, I have started seeing America now in the last four years, five years as a touring comic. I have been to small towns, to big towns. I get booked wherever. The managers and agents, God bless them, never get me good deals. They will find the tiniest town and be like, go see if you can get an audience there. And I have to go and, like, really just land at the airport and figure out what I'm doing. But it's been amazing. I'm such a fan of small town America. I love it so much.

[B]

What are some of your favorite small towns that you've been to?

[C]

I mean, I will tell you the town that blew my mind. Bentonville, Arkansas.

[A]

Oh, yeah. All right. I've been to Bentonville. It's. It's mind blowing.

[C]

Seth, are you being. Are you being sarcastic? Because.

[A]

No, I went. It's. They. First of all, they have. I know you wouldn't go near it because you don't like museums, but there's that Crystal Bridges.

[C]

Yes, yes.

[B]

What's Crystal Bridges?

[A]

It's like an incredible modern art museum in Bentonville, Arkansas. And then they have like a. I mean, a gorgeous, like, town square that is the most, like, sort of picture postcard. What you picture when you think of small town America.

[C]

You don't. You wouldn't imagine it. Like, when I got booked, I got booked in Fayetteville, Arkansas, which is a suburb of Bentonville.

[A]

Yeah, okay.

[C]

And when I got booked, I was like, okay. You know, I was like, I'm not really sure if anybody's gonna show up for this, but, okay, let's try it. Sold out crowds, and it was so beautiful. Bentonville was like, there. I think I went to three museums. The first time in my life, I went to three museums because they were so gorgeous. The Walton family has invested so much money in that town. And created all these artistic buildings, even just buildings to walk by. People don't know. I've lived most of my life in New York, and a lot of business I do is in la. So people assume that these are the two big towns, and yet there's so much life happening. The other town I went to, I remember landing at Indianapolis Airport, had a basketball court in the airport, and nobody was worried when their flight was delayed. Like, everybody was dribbling a ball. And it was such a unique and great idea. I was like, this is brilliant. We need more of this.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You know, so I've seen a lot of small town America now in five years, and I love it.

[A]

Love it. Are you somebody? When you toured, you do a good job. I mean, it sounds like certainly in Bentonville, if you went and saw three museums, are you like, I'm not gonna just waste my time in a hotel room. I'm gonna get out, I'm gonna see the town.

[C]

No, usually I'm sitting and I'm writing material. And actually, when I was right, it's too stressful. I happen to spend a few extra days in Bentonville. For whatever reason, I get too stressed out. I'm a nervous Nelly like that. I mean, I traveled so much with Tina and Amy, and they were always. They would be like, we're going here, we're going there. But I was like, I better open big tonight. I mean, you know, opening for Tina and Amy is not like a small job. So I was always like, iron my outfit. Like, make sure everything is dotted and crossed the way it needed to be. So I was.

[A]

And by the way, I know them very well. That was a test. If you had gone and hung out with them, they would have fired you on the spot.

[C]

I knew it. I knew those white ladies had some agenda.

[A]

Oh, yeah, you can't trust those white ladies. I say that with love. You cannot trust if there are any two white ladies you cannot trust.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. That's awesome. It is really. I think, too. I think, you know, sometimes, you know, and again, it's a lot to do with the climate we're in. You forget that, like, there's literally no red state in this country that doesn't have some incredible little town where they support the arts and, you know, they want to have people from all over the country and all political stripes show up to entertain them. It's really lovely.

[C]

It's sad because the country has become so polarized that you're either good or bad. And it's not like that most people are like, somewhere in the middle and it's very pretty. And it's like, if your mind is open to it, like, I have a lot of friends in New York who would never leave New York. You know, there's these die hard New York, Louisiana People, they can't imagine life. They don't know what they're missing. I tell people all the time, like, you have no idea what you're missing. You've just convinced yourself that this tiny island is the beginning and the end of things and it's just not.

[A]

Do your kids ever go on the road with you or is it stressful?

[B]

Oh, they do.

[A]

That's great.

[C]

All the time. All the time. Because they help me sell merch. Hello. We believe in child labor. It's great. Why do you think I gave birth to these people?

[B]

Do you pay them a flat fee or do they get a percentage of their life?

[C]

Is the flat fee? Do you know how expensive they are?

[B]

Are you kidding me?

[C]

These organic, vegan loving kids of mine, do you know how expensive these kids are?

[A]

Do you have all three? Are all three vegans?

[C]

Well, they're in and out of veganism or whatever is the new thing of the day. It's like this isn't grown the way it should have been at. Nothing's ever good enough. I think the coffee we drink is more pampered than I was as a child. It's like shade grown, flown in from Colombia. I'm like, it's a coffee bean. Could you relax? You know? But there's Manhattan kids that way. Like, they do not eat pizza, God forbid, because too many carbs.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

So their life is their payment. And I don't want to put any ideas out there.

[A]

Do they, like, if you. If you weren't in the room and they could not be judged for it, do you think all three of them are fans of what you do on stage?

[C]

Yes. I do, too.

[A]

I do, too.

[C]

And the thing is, you can't fake it because they really do support. They've been part of my business since day one. I mean, I started in comedy because of my daughter. She's the one who said you should try comedy. Yeah, I didn't think this was a job. What Indian ever dreams of becoming a comedian, right? Never. But they've been there since day one. I like to say that I run a family business. I happen to be the face of it because they've been involved. I mean, now my daughter, who just graduated Stanford, is taking over my podcast. That's her job full time. So we're all believers in the world that we're creating. You know, we like what we're doing and we're trying to build around. Around the idea that a grounded, nerdy, boring family that spends most of its time studying also has a place in entertainment.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

It's not all about the sex tapes and you know, whatever.

[B]

Do your kids ever notice things that their grandmother, your mother in law does? Do they sort of say, hey mom, what about this?

[C]

All the time. And she's so wicked. She is so manipulative. You don't understand. She knows exactly what to say to them. So they come running to me and they're like, well, you know, grandma was very nice. Oh, oh, she was not people. You're so dumb is what it is. You got played and you didn't even know it. She knows she will call them. This woman, God bless her, could not speak a word of English four years ago. I kid you not. Her birthday messages to me used to be like balloon emojis. Not even words, right. She figured out how to like Venmo kids money on their birthday. She figured out how to write like long messages and Google translate like literally. She'll be like, I miss you so much. I wish your mother, blah blah. She's completely manipulating them. Has forgotten all the years that I brought them kicking and screaming. And now it's all about like, oh, she's become so famous and sometimes we feel left behind. And then my all American kids who trust anything anybody says, you know, they fall for it invariably.

[A]

Oh, I'm sorry. You put all that work into making them smart kids and they're not just let you down.

[C]

Yes, that should be the big message from this.

[A]

Book smart. They're book smart and mother in law stupid.

[C]

Yeah, she knows what they love to eat. Anything she'll mail them. Like my son especially. It's not so much all three. It's the older son. She gets to him constantly and he falls for it. Like my daughter kind of knows what's going on, but my son will be like, oh, Dadi's. You know, Dadi sent this to me in college. I mean, how did she figure out none of my packages make it to his college? Because, you know, colleges have their own dorm and like mail in this way and that. How did she sitting in India figure this out? But she did.

[A]

Well, she's an intrepid woman. We have to give her credit for that. Zarna, this has been a delight. You have a fantastic Hulu special. Practical people win. It's out now. You are just one of my favorite people to talk to. But before we let you go, Josh is gonna ask you some Speed Round questions.

[C]

Okay. And. Yes. And, Seth, you are my favorite, too. Second only to Josh.

[A]

Yeah. Understood. Once people meet him, that tends to be how it breaks for me.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

All right, here we go. Zarna, you can only pick one of these. Is your ideal vacation relaxing, adventurous, or educational?

[C]

Educational. Always. Indian. Number one.

[B]

What is your favorite means of transportation?

[C]

Subway. New York City subway.

[A]

Great. What a great answer. Thank you.

[C]

Yeah. Because lots of material. It just writes itself. By the time you get in, you walk out with five new minutes.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. And it is, you know, and not always, but when it runs the way it's supposed to, still the fastest way to get around the city.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, for sure. I really. I'm so happy that you can now tap in and out like, I used to be in New York just occasionally. And to have to buy that Metro card and, like, keep it in my wallet. And then it's like, oh, now it only has a dollar on it. I gotta add money. It's. Oh, boy. Tapping is really, really good. If you could take a vacation with any family, alive or dead, real or fictional, what family would you like to take a vacation with?

[C]

Look, this might get me framed, but I actually am obsessed with the Kardashians.

[B]

Sure.

[C]

I would go. I would go. I would be like, let me watch this live. I've been watching you guys 20 years yelling @ each other. Is any of this real? I need to know.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Excellent. If you had to be stranded on a desert island with one member of your family, who would it be?

[C]

My husband. Because I would kill him and eat him. Done. He'd be fine.

[A]

Excellent.

[B]

And really fast answer.

[A]

I was so surprised and then so delighted.

[C]

I was. I'm telling you, the only reason we would be in that situation is because of something dumb that he did.

[B]

Okay?

[C]

There's no way we're getting in that bad situation because of me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Great.

[B]

Just great. You are from Mumbai. Would you recommend Mumbai as a vacation destination?

[C]

Yes, 100%. Everybody should go. And it would be easy and it would be fun. It's a heavy trip for different reasons, but the process itself is very easy.

[A]

Great.

[C]

Very easy. And it's like, American people love it. That Eat, Pray, love thing is a real thing. It is a real thing. It changes your life in ways if nothing else. If nothing else, any amount of money you spend on therapy in America cannot compare with one trip to India where you see people who have nothing, but they're so happy.

[A]

Yeah. All right. Yeah.

[B]

There's a documentary, happy, and it opens with a family who's like, very poor. And the guy's just like. He's over the moon happy and like, works his ass out in some field and then comes home to his kids. And it's just a dirt floor. And he's one of the happiest people you ever encounter. It's really.

[C]

That's a classic Indian person. And I recommend everybody to go witness it themselves. You're not gonna get anything in a museum that's gonna compete with that.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, that sounds great. And then Seth has our final questions.

[A]

I feel like maybe you hinted at it, but have you been to the Grand Canyon?

[C]

I have. It was a little disappointing to the Indians, including me.

[A]

Thank you.

[C]

This feels like every crater in Mumbai.

[A]

I mean, my follow up was, was it worth it? And I just. I got the sense that you did not think it was worth it. And I celebrate you for your honesty.

[C]

I mean, I was happy I went because it is, you know, it is a wonder of the world or whatever. But the dam that was near it, I remember there's a dam near that's driving distance from it. That man made situation was mind blowing to us.

[B]

Yeah. The Hoover Dam, I believe.

[C]

Yeah, the Hoover Dam.

[A]

Yeah. You like when you can see the work. You want to see some work that went into something not just dumb luck.

[B]

Imagine years of erosion.

[C]

Yeah, I guess, because also we see a lot of that erosion in India every day. It's not feeling. We couldn't really understand what, you know, what the. The fascination with it is. The Indians, that's not a place they'll go to. Niagara Falls, they'll go. That's the second. Disney and Niagara Falls, those are the two things Indians like to do in America.

[A]

You've always said the Grand Canyon is the mother in law of craters.

[C]

That maybe that should be. Maybe that should be their little.

[A]

Yeah, they're a little big. Just lean into it. Certainly when they advertise on, like Indian Facebook pages, they should call it that.

[C]

Exactly.

[A]

We love you, Zarna. This is just the best. Absolutely.

[C]

Thank you so much, Seth. Thank you, Josh. I don't use the L word, but this was so fun. That's another thing Indians don't do. We don't fall in love. We don't stay in love. We just live.

[B]

Yeah, well, you're doing great at it. And certainly.

[A]

Yeah, I certainly wouldn't. Based on everything you said about your husband, I would never, never jump to the conclusion that you loved each Other.

[C]

Not in this lifetime. Thank you, guys. Thank you so much.

[B]

Bye, Zarna.

[A]

Love to your family.

[B]

Thank you, Zarna. Congrats on the special.

[C]

Thank you.

[A]

Everyone.

[B]

Back in India, they all want to know the exact same thing. When you're out at an American restaurant, just how much food did they bring? Cause they've heard the tales of the Costa and they like to drill down on those size details. They have the huge shampoo. How big was the food? How big was the food? How big was the food? Biggest I've ever seen. Had a sandwich that was piled so high, so many fries was like a wedding buffet and you should have seen the cake. On a great beach town, Goa might be the best one around. Where the DJs play and the palm trees sway A great time can always be found. Zana's family, you can rest assured they would skip all of that for a temple tour. And when the evening comes, it's math on the beach. Math on the beach. It's math on the beach. Homework won't do itself. So instead of go going to the club, dancing till dawn, having fun and cutting loose, you're solving for the hypotenuse. A squared plus B squared equals C squared.

[A]

Support comes from Tropical Smoothie Cafe. At Tropical Smoothie Cafe, every sip and bite feels like a little getaway. What a nice tie in, by the way. A little getaway for a podcast that's about getaways both big and little smoothies. Bowls, wraps, all made with better for you, ingredients that taste like sunshine. And right now, big news for smoothie lovers. Tropic Fan Fest is back. From September 15th through the 21st, Tropic Rewards, members get a free smoothie with a bowl or food purchase every day that week. From the Bahama Mama smoothie to the Acai bowl with Nutella to the Caribbean or Caribbean. I know a lot of people think that's sort of a coin flip. One jerk chicken wrap. There's something for everyone. You know what I love most? You could pair a smoothie with an actual meal, like a wrap or a bowl and, you know, feels like a complete, complete deal. I don't have to go to two different stores and I enjoy that because I'm on the go.

[B]

Just ask Josh.

[A]

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