43:I[58016,["/_next/static/chunks/b5ea50e123aa84a6.js","/_next/static/chunks/5e17b2e37c80a96c.js","/_next/static/chunks/de880ec5a0241b38.js","/_next/static/chunks/48003610e91209eb.js","/_next/static/chunks/15a1b1fbd3cf7d4a.js","/_next/static/chunks/81ce7bf5f20dbd5a.js","/_next/static/chunks/53f751967ccc7d59.js","/_next/static/chunks/903c358828afe0bc.js","/_next/static/chunks/3f968c52062fcbb8.js","/_next/static/chunks/88bed98e5cd5e639.js"],"ProcessEpisodeButton"] 46:I[45269,["/_next/static/chunks/b5ea50e123aa84a6.js","/_next/static/chunks/5e17b2e37c80a96c.js","/_next/static/chunks/de880ec5a0241b38.js","/_next/static/chunks/48003610e91209eb.js","/_next/static/chunks/15a1b1fbd3cf7d4a.js","/_next/static/chunks/81ce7bf5f20dbd5a.js","/_next/static/chunks/53f751967ccc7d59.js","/_next/static/chunks/903c358828afe0bc.js","/_next/static/chunks/3f968c52062fcbb8.js","/_next/static/chunks/88bed98e5cd5e639.js"],"SignupCTA"] 48:I[56939,["/_next/static/chunks/b5ea50e123aa84a6.js","/_next/static/chunks/5e17b2e37c80a96c.js","/_next/static/chunks/de880ec5a0241b38.js","/_next/static/chunks/48003610e91209eb.js","/_next/static/chunks/15a1b1fbd3cf7d4a.js","/_next/static/chunks/81ce7bf5f20dbd5a.js","/_next/static/chunks/53f751967ccc7d59.js","/_next/static/chunks/903c358828afe0bc.js","/_next/static/chunks/3f968c52062fcbb8.js","/_next/static/chunks/88bed98e5cd5e639.js"],"EpisodeTranscript"] 3d:["$","div",null,{"className":"flex flex-col gap-2 text-sm text-muted-foreground","children":[["$","span",null,{"className":"inline-flex items-center gap-2 bg-secondary/50 px-3 py-1 rounded-full","children":[["$","svg",null,{"className":"w-4 h-4","fill":"none","stroke":"currentColor","viewBox":"0 0 24 24","children":["$","path",null,{"strokeLinecap":"round","strokeLinejoin":"round","strokeWidth":2,"d":"M8 7V3m8 4V3m-9 8h10M5 21h14a2 2 0 002-2V7a2 2 0 00-2-2H5a2 2 0 00-2 2v12a2 2 0 002 2z"}]}],["$","time",null,{"dateTime":"2026-03-08T12:00:00.000Z","children":"Sun Mar 08 2026"}]]}],null]}] 44:T447,

This week on Glee, everyone gets tested — emotionally, medically, and our patience. In 5x16, “Tested,” Blaine spirals over a cronut-based body image crisis, Kurt enters his gym bro villain era, Artie discovers that sleeping with everyone at film school has consequences, and Sam Evans somehow becomes the only functioning adult in New York City. Yes. Sam Evans. Bless him.

This episode we break down:
🥐 Blaine vs. the Cronut Industrial Complex
💪 Kurt Hummel’s sudden transformation into That Guy from the gym
🦠 Artie Abrams and the extremely literal STD storyline
🙏 Sam Evans praying in a bathroom and still making the best decision in the episode

We talk Klaine’s increasingly miserable relationship arc, the bizarre fat-shaming plotline assigned to an objectively fit man, and how an episode about sexual health somehow becomes mostly about… cronuts and insecurity.

Is it messy? Absolutely.
Is Sam Evans the moral center of the episode? Also yes.

Because it’s Glee.

xoxo,
FotR

Glee on the Rocks: 5x16 – “Cronuts, Chlamydia & Relationship Crimes”