This week on Glee on the Rocks, we cover 5x19, “Old Dog, New Tricks,” the Chris Colfer-written detour that somehow works because it’s old people, puppies, and just enough Rachel to keep the season’s chaos limping forward.

Rachel tries to rebrand her image after Broadway gossip exposes her Funny Girl mess by hiring Santana as a ruthless publicist and inventing an animal-rescue charity event called Broadway Bitches, complete with a disastrous pap walk that ends with her getting dragged down the street by dogs. Correct, honestly.

Meanwhile, Kurt, feeling left behind while everyone else gets careers, scandals, showcases, and/or strange rich lady mentorships, finds purpose at the Lexington Home for Retired Performers. He auditions for Peter Pan, gets pulled into Maggie’s story, and makes one very questionable attempt to reconcile her with her estranged daughter. Sounds about Kurt.

And then there’s Sam, Mercedes, and McConaughey the dog, which gives us one of the rarest Glee miracles of all: someone remembering Sam’s actual backstory.

Also happening in this episode:

⭐️ Rachel Berry attempting public image rehab while continuing to be Rachel Berry
👠 Santana Lopez as unpaid publicist, crisis manager, and professional hater with a cause
🎭 Kurt joining a retirement home production of Peter Pan and accidentally pitching us a spin-off we would absolutely watch
🐶 Sam adopting McConaughey without asking Mercedes, and the surprisingly adult conversation that follows

Did we love every song? Absolutely not. Did every plot point make sense? Please, this is still Glee. But did we enjoy watching this one more than expected? Somehow, yes.

xoxo,
FotR