Podcast Summary

Episode Overview

Podcast: Federalist Radio Hour - ‘The Kylee Cast’
Episode Title: When God Calls You To Parenthood But Not Pregnancy
Host: Kylie Griswold (A)
Guest: Leigh Fitzpatrick Snead (B), Fellow at the Catholic Association and author of Infertile But Fruitful
Date: January 22, 2026

This episode explores the deeply personal and culturally significant subject of infertility, faith, and alternative paths to parenthood. With Leigh Fitzpatrick Snead’s new book as a springboard, the conversation thoughtfully examines what it means to desire children but face barriers to pregnancy—delving into medical, spiritual, and emotional dimensions, as well as discussing adoption, cultural pressures, and the importance of community and support.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Leigh’s Story: Infertility, Faith, and Writing the Book

• [03:24] Leigh recounts meeting her husband in college, delaying having kids while living in DC, and then facing many years of infertility, medical consultations, and simultaneous adoption pursuit.

• Leigh shares how writing articles on infertility led to connections with others, inspiring her to write a book that would break the conversational silence and offer visibility to those feeling unrepresented.

  “I just want people to be able to…see themselves in a book, because I feel like we’re kind of unrepresented in all kinds of stuff, whether it’s nonfiction or fiction or entertainment or, you know, just culture at large.” – Leigh, [05:50]

The Impact of Isolation and Compassionate Community

• [06:53] The book empowers those struggling to feel seen and helps others understand how to support friends and family experiencing infertility.

• The sense of shame and secrecy surrounding infertility is discussed, particularly within large families or tight-knit communities, and the hope that honesty and language can empower both sufferers and their supporters.

  “I think there’s a belief…when you’re suffering with infertility that I’m not gonna really talk about this. I’m just gonna wait it out because one day I’m gonna get pregnant, and that’ll be the news, and that’ll be my story, and I won’t have to think about any of this other dark stuff again.” – Leigh, [07:45]

Practical Lessons for Life and Faith

• [10:07] At each chapter’s end in her book, Leigh includes "lessons along the way"—tangible takeaways, rooted in her journey, for readers to apply in various life challenges.

• Culture’s messaging about marriage, parenting, and delay is explored. Leigh reflects on how both cultural and familial pressures influence young adults' approaches to marriage and childbearing.

  “You don’t have to wait. You know, it’s actually good to get started early.” – Kylie paraphrasing Leigh’s advice, [10:42]

The Medical Maze: Ethical Tensions and Catholic Values

• [13:55] Leigh shares her experience with a prominent fertility doctor in DC who immediately pushed IVF, disregarding her Catholic values, and how she and her husband faced ethical and emotional pressure.

  • The doctor’s dismissive attitude (“I’m a cradle Catholic. I don’t see what the big deal is.”) [15:00] and outright anger when Leigh refused IVF underscored the lack of value alignment in many clinics.
  • Leigh and her husband walked out after a particularly disturbing experience ("I'm creating life back there, not destroying it." – Leigh quoting her former doctor, [16:30]).

• Kylie and Leigh then discuss societal assumptions that medical technology can always provide a backstop (egg freezing, IVF), as well as the vulnerability of patients in the fertility industry:

  "You walk out of that clinic, how many other women walk in there with a vague notion of, 'no, we don't want to pursue IVF,' but they face that kind of pressure and that kind of pushback..." – Kylie, [18:00]

• The conversation highlights the importance of finding providers who at least respect, if not share, faith-based medical values, and the growing field of restorative reproductive medicine (NaProTechnology, Creighton Method, etc.)

  “...It’s really heartening to see the proliferation of these restorative reproductive medicine doctors and NaProTechnology doctors being trained by Dr. Hilgers in Nebraska…” – Leigh, [20:35]

Alternative Paths and Expanding the Meaning of Fruitfulness

The Desire for Pregnancy vs. The Desire for Parenthood

• [25:56] Leigh distinguishes between longing for pregnancy versus longing for a child, and how accepting a call to parenthood—even if it means adoption—can be redemptive and fulfilling:

  “Once that door opened...I had a real clear message: you’re an adoptive mom. That was our vocation...if we had other babies, that was fine, but this is something that we could do and we wanted to do.” – Leigh, [26:45]

Adoption Journeys and Family Formation

• [27:55] Leigh shares transformative moments, such as leaving infertility treatments behind to focus on adoption, culminating in the rapid adoption of twins within days of their home study approval.
• Kylie reads a poignant passage from Leigh’s book describing the peace and joy found through adoption ([31:46]), emphasizing that leaving medical treatments was “exactly what we had been meant to do.”

Redefining Fruitfulness and Embracing All Vocations

• [33:29] Fruitfulness need not be limited to biological children—priests, singles, and those without children are also called to meaningful, fruitful lives.

• The importance of not making assumptions about childlessness: “When we reduce fruitfulness to just baby...we forget about the fruitfulness of, like, you know, our Catholic priests are celibate, they’re fruitful...after you’re done raising your children, you’re still called to be fruitful.” – Leigh, [34:20]

• Discussion on spiritual motherhood, the unique gifts women bring to all parts of life, and empathy for those whose lives do not conform to traditional expectations ([36:23], [37:19]).

Unique Topics Explored

Breastfeeding an Adopted Baby

• [41:00] Leigh shares her experience of using a supplemental nursing system to breastfeed her adopted baby, with the encouragement of a lactation consultant (“lactation consultants love when adoptive moms want to breastfeed—it’s like their Mount Everest”). [41:20]
• There is growing support and information for adoptive mothers seeking to build that physical and emotional bond.

Grieving Unfulfilled Fertility

• [45:57] The process of entering perimenopause brings a new layer to the grief over infertility: “It’s grieving for the fertility I never had and to always live with that little bit of a hope, little tiny hope that maybe you’re going to get pregnant...and to realize like, oh yeah, I’m not going to be one of those stories for real.” – Leigh, [46:13], [47:30]

Male Factor Infertility

• [51:30] The stigma and silence around male infertility are discussed. Leigh encourages wives to be compassionate, avoid blame, and realize their husbands are grieving, too.

Friendship, Community, and the Gospel Response

• [54:37] Tips for families and friends to support those suffering infertility:

  • Avoid unhelpful platitudes or comparisons
  • Don’t exclude childless friends from social groups
  • Offer prayer and check in with open-ended care

  “Open up without the pressure...because, again, they’re already putting so much pressure on themselves.” – Leigh, [56:27]

The Cross, Redemption, and Spiritual Perspective

• The conversation returns repeatedly to the role of faith, Christ’s suffering, and carrying one’s cross.

• Kylie highlights a quote from the book: “It is precisely through the cross that the Lord shows his love for us.” ([57:42])

  “You can have this will and this heart and the soul that desires motherhood, and your body’s not cooperating....God entered time as a man and suffered...When you embrace that and pick up your cross and carry it, you feel drawn into Jesus.” – Leigh, [58:42-60:02]

• The podcast closes with a powerful meditation that every person has unique “crosses” to carry, but none are alone; Christ has gone before, and there is joy and redemption to be found in embracing even hard paths.

Notable Quotes & Timestamps

• On Representation and Breaking Silence

  “I want people to see themselves in a book, because I feel like we’re kind of unrepresented in all kinds of stuff...Infertility needs to be...something that everyone is, you know, at least a little bit fluent in and is used to talking about...”
  — Leigh, [05:50]

• On Doctor’s Pressure for IVF

  “He told us all the time, ‘I’m a cradle Catholic. I don’t see what the big deal is.’ And...he got so enraged and frustrated with us, he pointed back to his lab, saying, ‘I’m creating life back there, not destroying it.’”
  — Leigh, [16:30]

• On Fruitfulness Beyond Children

  “When we reduce fruitfulness to just baby...we forget about like the fruitfulness of like, you know, our Catholic priests are celibate, they’re fruitful...after you’re done raising your children, you’re still called to be fruitful. As a single person, you’re called to be fruitful.”
  — Leigh, [34:20]

• On Male Factor Infertility

  “It is sort of like an outdated thing that we would think that, you know, he’s somehow less of a man because he’s got some sort of vascular issue that causes this problem. You know what I mean? It’s just a medical problem.”
  — Leigh, [52:08]

• On Community Support

  “Just the general, like, ‘Is there anything I can pray for you about? Are you doing okay? How are things going?’ …there are ways to open up without the pressure...”
  — Leigh, [56:27]

• On Carrying the Cross

  "It is precisely through the cross that the Lord shows his love for [us]. ...when you embrace that and pick up your cross and carry it, you feel drawn into Jesus...the cross is now a symbol of joy and love.”
  — Leigh, [58:42]

• On the Book’s Message

  "I want people to look at our family and say, like, oh, hey, they never got pregnant. You know, that's not so bad, what they've got going on there. Like, that's a happy life."
  — Leigh, [33:39]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Leigh’s background and book genesis: [03:24]
• Practical lessons and cultural messaging: [10:07]
• First clinic/doctor and tensions with IVF: [13:55]
• Restorative reproductive medicine: [20:35]
• Pregnancy vs. parenthood/adoption decision: [25:56]
• London break & adoption twins story: [27:55]
• Redefining fruitfulness and community: [33:29]
• Breastfeeding adopted baby: [41:00]
• Grieving for lost fertility in perimenopause: [45:57]
• Male factor infertility and marital grief: [51:30]
• Advice for friends/family: [54:37]
• Gospel and the cross: [57:41]

Tone and Closing

Warm, wise, funny, and hopeful, the conversation embraces the complexity and grief of infertility, while continually pointing to redemption, fruitfulness, and joy of living out one’s calling in unexpected ways. Both host and guest encourage radical empathy, curiosity, and support for those suffering through infertility, and offer practical, faith-filled perspectives for anyone walking similar roads or seeking to support loved ones.

For more on Leigh Fitzpatrick Snead and her book Infertile But Fruitful, visit Sophia Institute Press, and follow Leigh at leefitzpatricksnead.com and thecatholicassociation.org.