Amelia and the Very, Very Expensive Month (A No-Buy Update)

Summary

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Feminist Survival Project – "Amelia and the Very, Very Expensive Month (A No-Buy Update)"

Hosts: Emily Nagoski & Amelia Nagoski
Date: September 10, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this candid and relatable episode, sisters Emily and Amelia Nagoski discuss their tumultuous journey with the no-buy lifestyle amid a string of unexpected (and unavoidable) expenses. Using their signature blend of warmth, humor, and just the right dash of righteous indignation, they recount the "very, very expensive month" that upended their budget goals and offer reflections on consumer culture, accessibility, self-compassion, and emotional survival under late-stage capitalism.

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Main Discussion Themes

1. The Unraveling of No-Buy: When Life Gets Expensive

• Amelia’s Appliance Woes ([00:47]–[08:11])

  • Amelia shares her frustration after her $7,000 custom fridge dies after only five years, and no repair techs are willing to fix it—"They just declined the opportunity for my thousands of dollars. They were like, nah, now create trash." ([02:32] – Amelia)
  • She eventually settles for a $3,000 smaller fridge, compromising on features and spending two months improvising without proper refrigeration.
  • Emily relates with her own pricey kitchen mishap: shattering a $3,000 glass induction cooktop ([03:06]), only to find replacement costs nearly equal to buying new.

• Planned Obsolescence and Frustration ([02:58])

  • The hosts rail against the short lifespans and poor warranties of high-end appliances, and the unsustainable cycle of forced replacement.
  • "Welcome to the world of planned obsolescence." ([02:58] – Emily)

2. Other (Unexpectedly) Necessary Spending

• Medical and Accessibility Purchases ([14:16])

  • Emily and her partner purchase a $600 heavy-duty ramp for their aging pit bull so she can comfortably access her favorite backyard.

• Tech and Everyday Accidents

  • Amelia details smaller, but still frustrating, costs: replacing a broken tablet ($100), a lost pair of glasses, and other must-haves.

• Major Life Enrichment Expenses ([15:48], [16:24])

  • Amelia splurges on a $1,000 Boston Early Music Festival pass (plus $3,000+ in hotel fees) and tickets to the Metropolitan Opera for a show composed and conducted by women—fulfilling both an accessibility need and a core value.
  • The effort and cost to secure a dignified, accessible opera experience highlight barriers for disabled and neurodivergent patrons.

3. No-Buy Mentality: Where It Worked and Where It Didn’t

• Intentional Decluttering and Value Assessment

  • Emily applies a "ventralness" test to her possessions: Does this thing make me feel good, or does it weigh me down?
  • Shoe and puzzle stories illustrate efforts to reduce possessions, not just accumulate less: "I reduced my overall shoe volume while increasing the eventualness of my total shoe situation." ([24:44] – Emily)

• Conscious Wins

  • Both hosts celebrate resisting temptation (no plants, no extra clothes, canceled Audible memberships), and openly acknowledge their slip-ups.
  • Amelia: "I did not buy [the denim dress]. It would have made sense ... but I didn't need it and I didn't buy it." ([28:11])

• Library Wins Over Amazon ([29:13]–[33:25])

  • Amelia’s biggest no-buy win is learning to use Libby and the Boston Public Library e-card for ebooks and audiobooks, reducing dependency on costly digital platforms.
  • Emily describes her system of always having "10 books on hold" to ensure a steady stream of free content.

4. Emotional Survival and the Psychology of Shopping

• Shopping as Coping and Distraction ([42:29])

  • The hosts discuss how shopping often acts as "numbing" against stress and despair—"One of the reasons people buy things is to avoid feeling their feelings." (Emily, [42:31])
  • They acknowledge that numbing is sometimes necessary for survival, but warn against letting it perpetually substitute for real feeling and healing.

• Capitalism, Economy & Political Context ([44:55])

  • Conversation veers into late capitalism, economic bubbles, and the stress of societal precarity, tying personal spending to broader systems ("our job is to be stronger than the fire" – Emily, [49:12]).

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• “I paid $7,000 for this refrigerator. I will pay two or three thousand dollars to have it repaired because I cannot replace this refrigerator.” – Amelia ([02:07])

• “They just didn’t want to do it. They...declined the opportunity for my thousands of dollars. They were like, nah, now create trash.” – Amelia ([02:32])

• “Welcome to the world of planned obsolescence.” – Emily ([02:58])

• “Opera is about big feelings. Opera is a medium intended to express things that are so big that you have to sing about them.” – Amelia ([17:40])

• “June was a very expensive month. It was a $10,000 month.” – Amelia ([21:54])

• “So it's gonna take me a bit to dig out of that hole... next time we do an update, I will have nothing to report.” – Amelia ([56:36])

• “Our job is to be stronger than the fire... The point of no buy is...to stay connected with the things and people around us that actually matter, rather than distracting ourselves from what really matters with shit that just does not matter.” – Emily ([49:13] & [49:23])

• “I am paying an artist to do an oil painting of our dogs... If you’re gonna spend money, it should go to stuff you’re excited about and love.” – Emily ([50:35], [51:14])

• “I feel pretty expert in... is this a ventral thing to have in my house, or does it make me feel bad?” – Emily ([54:33])

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Key Segments & Timestamps

• Opening: Appliance disasters and planned obsolescence ([00:24]–[08:11])
• Accessibility, health expenses, and big life spending ([14:13]–[22:01])
• Opera, accessibility at cultural events, and intentional value-based splurges ([15:48], [16:22])
• Small purchases, no-buy “failures,” and trade-offs ([22:01]–[27:37])
• Library/Audible workaround and reading as self-care ([29:13]–[33:25])
• Decluttering, puzzles, and the “ventral test” ([33:25]–[39:30])
• Ruminating, emotional coping, and shopping as numbing ([40:01]–[43:32])
• Context: Economy, politics, and responding to a world on fire ([44:55]–[49:13])
• Spending values, supporting artists, and small joys ([50:06]–[53:30])
• Reflections on poverty, frugality, and not buying by default ([52:13]–[54:31])
• End: What success looks like now, self-compassion, and permissiveness ([56:07]–[57:58])

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Closing Reflections

• The hosts stress self-compassion and adaptability: sometimes spending is unavoidable, and guilty feelings help no one.
• Building a meaningful, sustainable, ventral-feeling life is more important than perfection in "no-buy."
• They encourage listeners to reflect on what really matters to them, resist consumerist distraction when possible, and lean into the radical act of finding joy, even when the broader world is on fire.

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Tone and Takeaways

Warm, wry, validating, and honest—Emily and Amelia celebrate survival, not austerity. They encourage flexibility, emotional honesty, and intentionality when it comes to spending, and remind listeners to value what nourishes them—even when reality throws the budget out the window.

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Transcript

[Host 1]

Just lock it tight Keep a dream in your horn and you'll never ever want for more Unless you're in a knife fight.

[Host 2]

Okay, this is a no buy update. Because things have been bananas.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

Because you know what?

[Host 2]

Because life is life. And. And. And no buy's hard to maintain when life be life and.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

Because buying things is fun.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 2]

And also necessary.

[Host 1]

Life is like.

[Host 2]

There are.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 2]

There are things you have to own. Did you know that it's really difficult to live in 21st century North America without a refrigerator that works?

[Host 1]

Tell us all about that.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 2]

So I have a very ni. I had a very nice refrigerator that I bought, and I designed my whole kitchen around this refrigerator, around the necessity of having a fridge that was counter depth and had a drawer freezer. These were my requirements. It needed to be counter depth and have a drawer freezer. And it turns out those two things apparently are very expensive to provide. So I had a very fancy, way too expensive refrigerator. I had a $7,000 refrigerator. I paid $7,000 for a refrigerator. And you know how long it lasted? Five years.

[Host 1]

That's not enough years.

[Host 2]

That's not enough years for $7,000.

[Host 1]

And what happened when you inevitably, of course, called people to repair it? Because that's.

[Host 2]

I called.

[Host 3]

Oh, yeah.

[Host 2]

Um. Dude came out to look at it.

[Host 3]

Oh, yeah.

[Host 2]

Problem. But you know what? This here's a closed system. And we don't do those. You don't do those. Well, we've got a guy who does them, but it's expensive. And I was like, I paid $7,000 for this refrigerator. I will pay two or three thousand dollars to have it repaired because I cannot replace this refrigerator.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 2]

To get one the same size and shape that fits in my kitchen.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 2]

Where the door opens across from the island without hitting the island.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 2]

So I was ready, and they were like, yeah, our guy says he doesn't want to do it. So I called another company, same deal. They just didn't want to do it. They just said they just declined the opportunity for. For my thousands of dollars. They were like, nah, now create trash.

[Host 1]

And buy a new fridge instead of paying us for our labor, please.

[Host 2]

Yeah, they didn't want to do it. It was like. It was like a whole day's work.

[Host 1]

Welcome to the world of planned obsolescence.

[Host 2]

But five years. I was so, so mad.

[Host 1]

I was so mad. At least yours legit just, like, broke down. Like, that's enraging. Whereas I made a mistake. We have a glass induction cooktop, and I was, like, breaking apart some Ice cubes that had frozen together just on the edge of the counter. The counter is concrete. We have concrete counters in our kitchen. And I accidentally banged this ice on. On the corner of my glass cooktop and it.

[Host 2]

Ice versus cooktop. Ice wins.

[Host 1]

Cracked all the way across the largest burner. It just shattered. I've had that since 2021.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 2]

That's not very long.

[Host 1]

It wasn't $7,000, but it was $3,000.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

And we have the same thing. We actually rich talked to a real nice guy who was like, it will cost almost as much to buy a replacement part and install it as it is. Just to buy the new one.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

So we bought the new one.

[Host 2]

Bought a new one.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 2]

I ended up not paying $7,000 for another fridge. I bought a. My fridge is 30 inches wide, 87 inches tall, 24 inches deep, which is a very unusual.

[Host 3]

Yes.

[Host 1]

You had a very unusual fridge and.

[Host 2]

A very unusual fridge. I found one that was $3,000. That was 24 inches wide, 82 inches tall, and 24 inches deep. The depth is the most important thing it doesn't have. I compromised and I did not get a drawer freezer. I have a door freezer. But because the door is only 24 inches wide, it opens into the island without hitting it. So that's what I did. I got a 6 inch narrower. I have a much smaller refrigerator now. Turns out it's fine. But yeah, my refrigerator just stopped cooling and I had to replace it. So that was three grand.

[Host 1]

And how long did you live without a functioning fridge?

[Host 2]

About two months.

[Host 1]

Oh, my God.

[Host 2]

For the time that I figured out, like, I knew something was wrong. Like the milk was going bad really fast. So first I bought a thermometer. I bought a refrigerator thermometer to see.

[Host 1]

I can't believe you didn't already have thermometers in your fridge and freezer monitoring the temperature.

[Host 2]

Which is why I went ahead and bought them.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 2]

Cause you were like, you need refrigerator thermometers. I was like, okay, I'll just three.

[Host 1]

Because my. My. I don't have a fancy fridge. It's shitty. So, like, all the shelves are at different temperatures, which changes what you can store where.

[Host 2]

Right. And I was like, well, maybe that's what's going on in my ridiculously expensive fridge for some reason. But it turned out, no. My fridge was 48 degrees, which.

[Host 1]

Okay. Anyone who has worked in food service knows the phrase danger zone.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

And that zone is anywhere between 40 and 140 degrees. That is like the happy temperature. For bacteria, bad critters to grow in your food so that they are thriving when you put them in your body.

[Host 2]

Which is why my block of Parmesan got moldy.

[Host 3]

Right.

[Host 2]

I've never had Parmesan go moldy. Our milk was going bad in three days, like, okay. So I bought and explained. I was like, okay. So that's when I started calling service people and you have to wait a week for them to come out. So I was like, packing the refrigerator with the freezer worked fine because I spent all this money on a refrigerator that had separate systems from the freezer and the refrigerator. That dual system meant that the refrigerator could break and the freezer could be fine. Because I've had this problem before with the. The cooling system breaks and then you lose the whole thing.

[Host 1]

You were trying.

[Host 2]

So I thought one of the reasons I spent all this money is because I thought this isn't going to prevent me from having to replace my refrigerator, you know, the whole thing just because one part of it breaks. So no. Turns out that closed system meant that nobody wanted to repair it. And so it was. And then it was going to be weeks before it could be delivered. And then the delivery was about to happen and they rescheduled for some dumbass reason. And I like, it was just. It was just horrible and a nightmare. And it is so hard to. And I ate takeout and frozen, like entrees where there would be no leftovers just so I didn't have to keep food in my refrigerator. It was, it was. It was bad for my health and it was bad for my stress levels. And so I threw money at this problem.

[Host 3]

Yep.

[Host 2]

Nope.

[Host 1]

Sometimes that's the.

[Host 2]

On a Bosch Series 800 white glass fronted fridge freezer, 24 inches long.

[Host 1]

And it so often happens. So I think you're much more interested in the details of your refrigerator choices than anybody else is.

[Host 2]

Sure.

[Host 1]

But I think a lot of people are going to relate to, like really thinking through a large purchase, like shopping really hard, waiting for a sale, choosing exactly the right thing, trying to find it used or whatever. Like all the things that we try to do to make we get exactly the right thing and then having it break. Or my thing is you choose exactly the right appliance and when the guys show up to install it, it's a little bit of a hassle for them to put it in place. So they just are like, we can't do this. And they leave it and they don't do it. That's a thing that has happened to us multiple times.

[Host 2]

Yeah, it's happened to me too.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

So I want to, like, take a moment during the dizziness episode. We talked about how much better your drawer dishwasher is.

[Host 2]

Yes.

[Host 1]

And our.

[Host 2]

I did it. Which is when we moved into this house. It had been vacant for five years. It was full of mold that we had to like, strip the kitchen and the bathrooms to the studs to get rid of the mold. So we had to build a kitchen from scratch. From scratch. So I had to buy appliances because there were no appliances in the house. And I chose a drawer dishwasher because it was accessible.

[Host 1]

Yeah. And you were already thinking about universal design because this is the house you want to be in for the rest of your life.

[Host 2]

Yeah, I want to die on my bathroom floor in this house.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 2]

Which is not to say I want to die. I'm just saying that the bathroom is the most likely room to die in in the house anyway. I want to die at home.

[Host 1]

We did not build our kitchen from scratch. We are retrofitting. A mid century house was built in 1960. Retrofitting.

[Host 2]

And it's the original cabinetry.

[Host 1]

The original cabinetry. And they had removed cabinets at some point and put a dishwasher in the space where cabinets used to be.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

And so, you know, the dishwasher that we bought was the correct dimensions, as far as we knew. They put. Fortunately, we know some people who needed a dishwasher so they could take our still perfectly good, functional dishwasher.

[Host 2]

That's great.

[Host 1]

So it got itself a home. And their broken dishwasher went to go be recycled for parts and stuff. But because of the way they had cut out the cabinetry, this new one didn't fit.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

And let me just say, the guys who came and installed A.J. madison, y', all, A.J. madison is the name of the company from which we purchase our dishwasher. And I on purpose picked like specialist appliance people because I thought if something goes wrong, I don't want them to just abandon it. And these guys were here for like an hour and a half. They had to do carpentry to remove a part of the mid century cabinetry so that this thing would fit all the way under the cabinet. And then they rich collaborated with them to find a piece of scrap wood to like fill in a gap that they had left. It was amazing. And I am so grateful that they did this work. And like, of course, like, you know, you're asked to review things all the time now and rave. Can't, like, if you have to buy an appliance God forbid in this economy, but AJ Madison, y', all, they rocked. And they didn't speak a lot of English, but between their English and Rich's little bit of Spanish, mostly informed by his French, like, they made it work.

[Host 3]

They make.

[Host 1]

They made it work. They made it work. So I also had a, an appliance situation, but I had a really positive overall appliance experience.

[Host 2]

I did not. It was bad.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

So you spent money and I spent money on big durable items, not just.

[Host 2]

Like, should not have had to be replaced in the case of your stovetop and in the case of my refrigerator. Like, that is not an expense. I would. I thought I was never gonna buy a refrigerator again. I thought I bought. I spent $7,000 in a refrigerator. I'll never have to buy another refrigerator.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 2]

Oh, well, I was wrong. Turns out refrigerator warranties are. Oh, they're trash.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 2]

Basically you get one year.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 2]

Even in like Viking, if you spend 10 grand on a Viking refrigerator, you get one year of warranty and then like a relationship with their service providers. But like you can't even get a 10 year warranty on $10,000 worth of refrigerator. And Viking has the best warranty in the business. Believe me. I looked into this.

[Host 3]

Yeah. See.

[Host 2]

Anyway, it was really disappointing about how terrible planned obsolescence is. And there was another smaller purchase that I. My tablet that I use to watch videos and read books and listen to audiobooks. My entertainment thing that I have like basically on my person 24 7. I dropped it and it, it broke and I had to replace it.

[Host 1]

So electronics recycling is.

[Host 2]

I did that for a hundred dollars. It wasn't like a big, big purchase, but it was a hundred bucks that I wasn't planning on spending.

[Host 1]

Yeah, because you broke a thing. Because things get broken.

[Host 2]

Because I broke a thing. Because I carry it with me 247 and sometimes you drop a thing that you have with you all the time.

[Host 1]

Another thing we spent money on. Oh, go ahead.

[Host 2]

Well, I was gonna say another thing I spent money on, but you go ahead.

[Host 1]

We spent $600 on a 600 pound capacity disability accessible ramp for our deck stairs. Because we have a 15 or 16 year old Pitbull who was really struggling to get down the stairs to get to the backyard. And the backyard is one of our very favorite places in the whole wide world.

[Host 2]

And if this is.

[Host 1]

Hopefully not. But if this is her last summer, we wanted her to have easy access to that yard.

[Host 2]

Aw.

[Host 1]

So yeah, we, we went big and we bought a ramp that she learned immediately. She Always. It is so cute to watch her like, choose the side of the stairs that has the ramp on it. And always. And like a couple of times she's like, started out like she's gone one step down the stairs and been like, wait a minute. And has gone back up, lifted her paws up and gone over to the ramp. So she like, she loves it. And that is maybe the best $600 we've ever spent.

[Host 3]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Host 1]

I feel like we're extending her life.

[Host 2]

You're definitely improving the quality of her life.

[Host 1]

Definitely improving the quality of her day to day life, for sure.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 2]

That's great.

[Host 1]

And what else did you buy?

[Host 2]

Well, I had a planned expenditure which was in January. I bought a festival pass to the Boston Early Music Festival. And I had planned to spend a couple of nights in Boston, not to spend the whole week there, but that expense happened. It was planned since January and it also happened to happen in June. And it was like $1,000 for the pass and then like $3,000 for nights in hotels in Boston. So that was another several thousand dollars that came in the same month as my refrigerator. June was a very expensive month.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 2]

And then the Metropolitan Opera released its schedule for next season.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 2]

And they're putting on Kayasar Yahoo's last opera called Innocence. And I was like, I need to go to that. But opera going is a difficult experience, both for like physical accessibility reasons and also for like autistic crowd overwhelm, sensory overwhelm reasons. So I wanted to go to the opera.

[Host 1]

For the record, you and I went to the Met in 2021.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

To see the fire.

[Host 2]

Before I had a wheelchair.

[Host 1]

Before you had a wheelchair. We went to see a fire shot up in my bones. One of the things that really matters to you is to support the Met whenever they to the trouble of putting on a show composed by a woman or a person of color.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 2]

Or if they have a conductor, you know, especially if it's a woman conductor, but also a conductor of color, which is true. For Innocence has both a woman conductor and a woman composer.

[Host 1]

And the shows that they tend to choose by people of color or by women. You know, Innocence is a show about school shootings.

[Host 2]

Look, opera is about big feelings. Opera is a medium intended to express things that are so big that you have to sing about them that you can't just talk about them. You have to. You have to make whole. You have to need an orchestra to describe these experiences.

[Host 1]

And Fire Shot up in My Bones is about sexual assault.

[Host 2]

Yeah, it's About. It's.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

So, like, these are emotionally intense experiences. They're physically demanding. You didn't have a wheelchair at this point. We were walking to and from the Met from our hotel. And you passed out when you got home from the opera.

[Host 2]

Yeah, I lost time. I didn't fall asleep. I, like, went into a fume state. Yeah.

[Host 1]

You couldn't move. I ordered dinner because we needed to eat and neither of us was gonna go back in the elevator.

[Host 2]

No.

[Host 1]

So the food got delivered, and the smell of the food sort of brought you back into real. It was like you were dumb, like. And so why are we including this story in the no Buy episode?

[Host 2]

Because I spent a lot of money on opera tickets.

[Host 1]

And why did you do that?

[Host 2]

So much money to. Well, first of all, wheelchair accessible seats at the Met are like end seats that they just don't have a seat. And you're sitting and all of them are, like, surrounded by other people in the orchestra section or whatever section. And like, that's not happy for my autism. I can't. It makes it really. It's over.

[Host 3]

Yes.

[Host 2]

I much prefer sitting in a box because you're. It feels like you're in a smaller crowd. Like, you're still in it, but you're only, like, with, like, eight or 10 people.

[Host 1]

Right.

[Host 2]

Even if they're strangers, there's. It just feels much less.

[Host 1]

Much less open.

[Host 2]

Surrounded by people.

[Host 1]

I'm surrounded by people.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 2]

And because I had a. Have a wheelchair now, that means that a box with it has like, a little kind of mini lobby area before you go into the box itself. Only on the parterre level do the boxes have this, like, extra, like, kind of coat room where you can, like, dump all your crap and then just go sit in the box and not have any of your stuff on you.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 2]

So if I had my wheelchair, then I can take my wheelchair to the Met, up to the box, and then leave the chair in that coat room area vestibule, and then go sit, walk to my seat in the box. Just a few steps.

[Host 1]

So it's enormously more accessible, both physically and in terms of sensory overload.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 2]

And because the show that we're going to see happens to be playing on our actual birthday.

[Host 1]

Actual birthday.

[Host 2]

So we thought it might be, like, a nice experience to get a whole box. Because even last time in the front row of a box, there was, like, human interaction with, like, somebody trying to tell you to, like, move your chair, and you were like, ugh, like, I can't.

[Host 1]

What?

[Host 2]

There's two inches of Wiggle room here. So it would just be nicer.

[Host 1]

You're packed in there.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 2]

So it would be truly an experience of luxury.

[Host 1]

Yes.

[Host 2]

To have the whole box and only people that you get along with in that box with you.

[Host 1]

And only enough so that it feels like y' all have a lot. Each person has like just three people's worth of space. What. What the Met counts as three people's worth of space is how much I think a person needs.

[Host 2]

Right. And that is. That's expensive.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 2]

So I bought a membership to the Met so that I could have early access to ticket purchases so that I could buy an entire empty box and.

[Host 1]

Only invite people we like who are interested and able to go see an opera about school shootings.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

And we're also going to have to pay for a hotel.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 2]

But I had to pay for the tickets in June.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

June was a very expensive month.

[Host 2]

Was a $10,000 month.

[Host 1]

Goodness.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 2]

So that also included the replacing my tablet. I also had to replace a pair of glasses that I lost. I left them somewhere and I had to replace my tablet. So that. That was. That was some major, major no buy failure.

[Host 1]

I mean.

[Host 2]

I mean it wasn't. I mean, I was stuff I. Except for the.

[Host 1]

They were necessary.

[Host 2]

I mean, I had pre planned Boston Early Music Festival. That doesn't count as the refrigerator was necessary.

[Host 1]

Yes.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

I don't think that's a violation. And I think like spending money on a birthday present is not totally bananas.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 2]

It was just super inconvenient that it came in the same month.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 2]

As the fridge bemf. And sure. My glasses and my tablet.

[Host 1]

Well, everything that I bought just seems so tiny in comparison to all the things you just talked about. I just had this spectacular $50 here, $20 there. I had to replace a pair of glasses that broke.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

I bought. So our niece is gonna stay overnight on her way up to college and along with her dad, our brother and his wife. And when we were at Christmas at our aunt's house, she was talking about how her single bed fold out couch, which I have one of, she has a mattress pad for it to make it really comfortable. And I felt both inadequate and challenged, like I should be making this bed far more comfortable because it is the only place I have for our niece to sleep. So I bought a twin sized mattress pad to, you know, this is. This is stuff I didn't have to buy, but did.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

The main thing. So my. My no buy was very much about like don't buy clothes. Don't buy shoes. I have enough of all that stuff. And I this year, actually, it's just in the last month have purchased three pairs of shoes. All of which.

[Host 2]

Now did you have a need for any shoes?

[Host 1]

No, I have too many shoes. So what I did is more. Instead of doing one in, one out, I did one in, two out.

[Host 2]

Oh.

[Host 1]

Actually, I donated five pairs of shoes, but one of the pairs was winter boots. So by size, it was like six pairs of shoes.

[Host 2]

Okay.

[Host 1]

So I. I reduced my overall shoe volume while increasing the eventualness of my total shoe situation.

[Host 2]

Yeah, that's important.

[Host 1]

So.

[Host 2]

But like, it's also a failure of the no buy.

[Host 1]

I was.

[Host 3]

I.

[Host 1]

Like, there's. There's like only a few things that I was like, specifically not gonna do. And buying shoes was like, top of that, just. Cause I have plenty of shoes and I don't go anywhere.

[Host 2]

So you wanted these shoes because they were so special and they made you.

[Host 1]

Feel so good, so happy.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

And I have specific uses in mind for them. And like, I mean, I bought a pair of sneakers that rich just like, groans every time he sees them because he's so jealous that women's shoes come in these amazing colorways. And like, men's shoes just don't come in these spectacular varieties of color. So, yeah, they're great. And they were like 65% off retail.

[Host 2]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

And then I bought a pair of Crocs that look like Big Bird. They're yellow and fuzzy and they were 50% off. And then I bought another pair of Crocs to add $15 to my order to get free shipping. Like, and as I was doing it, I was like, this is the opposite. Like, adding stuff to my cart to get free shipping is the opposite of no buy. This is me absolutely falling 100% for capitalism and consumer cult. Oh, my God. But yeah, that's.

[Host 2]

How much did shipping cost?

[Host 1]

More than $15.

[Host 2]

Well, there you go.

[Host 1]

So they were free. Those shoes were free.

[Host 2]

You got to spend money to make save money. Yeah, those shoes are free. So did you have any successes of, like, I did not buy this thing.

[Host 1]

I mean, so I have found the you don't need that thing song genuinely really helpful. And I text you pictures of things and say, yeah, I don't. I don't need that thing. So anytime I texted you a picture of a thing and said, I don't need that thing, that was a win. I also did not buy any plants, which it like, that's another thing that. And like, I have been tempted to buy plants. Like, I Want plants.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 2]

Tis the season. But I.

[Host 1]

But I haven't bought any plants. I haven't bought any clothes, even though I have a work gig or two where I really want to actually dress like a person and I'm just gonna wear the clothes I have because the clothes I have are good enough.

[Host 2]

Yeah, I did not buy. I have. I have the same. I have one dress, but I have it in three different colors. I have a long sleeve chambray one and two in linen, one black, one blue. And that dress went on sale.

[Host 3]

Yep.

[Host 2]

And they had it available in like very dark denim. And I was like, that is exactly what I need. Like a very, like dark rinse denim. And I wanted it. And it would have made so much sense in my wardrobe and I would have worn it all the time, but.

[Host 3]

I didn't need it and I didn't buy it.

[Host 1]

Congratulations.

[Host 2]

And I cancelled or didn't renew my Audible membership.

[Host 1]

Oh, yeah, I did that very early. I did that in January.

[Host 2]

Well, my Audible membership ended in May.

[Host 1]

Yeah, mine ended in June, but I canceled it early on and just let it run out.

[Host 3]

Oh, well, I.

[Host 2]

You need to use all of your Audible credits, otherwise they. Yeah, no, you cancel it and you like.

[Host 1]

They don't take your credits away if you cancel your membership.

[Host 2]

They do.

[Host 1]

No, I had an annual membership. I still had like six credits left. I canceled. And they just sat there and I've used them all up before my actual expiration date anyway. You canceled all.

[Host 2]

Okay, well, I did it in June or in May when my expiration date came because I was like, you know. Yeah, I wanted to be able to. Anyway, I did it and it happened and I did not renew it. And I have struggled since then.

[Host 1]

I have.

[Host 2]

It's been. It's been rough. I want to just buy. Buy books. And Audiobooks are like $30.

[Host 1]

Audiobooks are expensive and I. I've been.

[Host 2]

Buying them for like a $9 book credit.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 2]

For years. So the idea that I can't just buy a book when I want it is. Is rough. However, this is my real no buy win. This is my major, major no buy win. I learned how to use the Libby app and log in correctly to my Boston or. Yeah, Boston Public Library account.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 2]

And to get library books that I can borrow, you have to wait most of the time for books that I'm interested in. Almost all of them have a hold. A hold. And I have to wait 4, 6, 8, 20 weeks, which is annoying. But it means I'm not supporting Amazon for all of my audiobook needs.

[Host 1]

I've been using the Boston Public Library E card for so long that the weights don't bother me. I have a to borrow list because I always have 10 books on hold. And as a book gets delivered to me, I put another book from my to borrow list on hold. And when my hopes are full, I just borrow books that are currently available because I listen to two audiobooks a week. At least. At least.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 2]

I also consume a lot of audiobooks. Okay. And here's a no buy. And also wellness achievement. I am able to read fluffy books.

[Host 1]

Physical reading pages.

[Host 2]

No. On my E reads.

[Host 3]

But.

[Host 2]

But when there's not an. When there's not an audiobook available, I can. Like there was an Abby Jimenez book.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 2]

That you recommended.

[Host 1]

Which one is it?

[Host 2]

I think it was something about a garden. Something garden. I don't remember. It wasn't great. I didn't love it, but it was fine. It was nice.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

Those books aren't about. This is my favorite book. This book changed my life. Those books are about. That was a much more pleasant way to spend that time than thinking about reality.

[Host 2]

Yeah, it was 100% that. It was 100% that. And I have read read in ebook format several of those. And the Libby app on my tablet is a great reading solution. My tablet's small and lightweight. Excellent. It's like a nine inch tablet. It's very small and it has the feature where you can read in the dyslexifont, which I own because I do find it easier to read. It's much easier to tell what words are. It's a great. If you name it, just D, I, S, L, Y, X, I, E. No, that's not right.

[Host 1]

It is so funny that you're struggling to spell the Dyslexia app. Dyslex Dyslexifont.

[Host 2]

D Y S L E X I E. Dyslexi is the font and it's designed to be easier to read for people with dyslexia, for example. But also, like, I have cognitive challenges. I get brain fog. And like, words don't process as easily as they sometimes do when I'm especially in a bad place and especially like, keeping track of what things mean long term while I'm reading. Like actually knowing what's going on. Like reading the words and knowing that the sentence means a thing. Yeah, that was. That's harder for me sometimes. But like, the dyslexifont makes it easier because it just, it's. It lightens the lift of reading. The cognitive lift so your.

[Host 1]

Your big no buy win is libraries.

[Host 2]

My big no buy win is libraries.

[Host 3]

Great.

[Host 2]

And the fact that I don't have an Audible subscription, like, I did not spend money on Audible.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 2]

Now, the thing is, I've read a couple of books that I want to have to listen to whenever I want.

[Host 1]

To read, whenever I want, adapt to using a different platform.

[Host 2]

It means I gotta spend 30 bucks.

[Host 1]

On those books sometimes.

[Host 2]

And like, I definitely want these books for $9. Do I want them for $30? That's a different thing.

[Host 3]

Yep.

[Host 2]

So that's something I'm gonna figure out. I haven't bought any more audiobooks. I've just renewed or re borrowed the ones I want to keep listening to over and over and over and over.

[Host 1]

Can I. Can I talk about a kind of no buy fail, but also kind of not so we moved a whole lot of stuff into our house out of our other house where some friends are living for a while. And that included a lot of games and puzzles that I have not looked at since I got my COVID vaccine. Because I got the puzzles during the lockdown. Because I was at home.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

And I was like, I have a lot of these puzzles. Am I really gonna do something with them? They can absolutely be donated. I did not feel okay unless I was 100% sure I had all of the pieces, which meant I had to do all of the puzzles. And I learned something about myself, which is.

[Host 2]

You like puzzles.

[Host 1]

I do. I really like puzzles. And I am not fast. Like, there are people who are like speed puzzlers. I am not. A thousand piece puzzle takes me eight or 10 hours. And one of the things about autism is that I struggle with transitions from one task to another. So if I sit down at that puzzle, I'm locked in.

[Host 2]

You're not getting up again till it's done?

[Host 1]

Yeah, till it's done. 100% done.

[Host 2]

Absolutely.

[Host 1]

So it became really clear that I. Unless a puzzle feels really special to me, I really should not own thousand piece puzzles.

[Host 2]

Right.

[Host 1]

Even a 500 piece puzzle is okay. I can get that done in like four hours. If I've got like a super casual day where I'm like, I don't have a lot of physical energy, but I could like do a calming, soothing play. Thing of doing a puzzle. 500 pieces is not overwhelming, but I really like doing puzzles, it turns out. And so I started buying all these small puzzles. But in the, in the spirit of one in, two out, I've been replacing them not by number of puzzles, but by piece count.

[Host 2]

Okay.

[Host 1]

Because if I donate a thousand piece puzzle, I can replace that with a 500 piece puzzle. And that's one in, two out, right?

[Host 2]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

And I'm getting like 81 piece puzzles, 100 piece puzzles, 350 piece puzzles. Like I can, I can get a lot of small puzzles in exchange for a thousand piece puzzle. That is not good for my like mental or physical health.

[Host 2]

Okay.

[Host 1]

And like I have, I have friends who are like, we love puzzles. All the puzzles. We'll take puzzles.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 2]

That's great.

[Host 1]

So on the one hand, it's kind.

[Host 2]

Of because they can have a puzzle on the table and do it over the course of a week or so.

[Host 1]

And not get like trapped in the puzzle. Absolutely.

[Host 3]

Yeah, yeah.

[Host 1]

People, people vary in their brains.

[Host 3]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Host 1]

And I don't have a great visual imagination, so like I'm slow.

[Host 2]

But speaking of getting trapped in things, one of the reasons why me reading on my E reader is so great is that I also, once I start reading a thing, I cannot stop reading the thing. If I start reading a book, I'm going to read that whole book.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 2]

Today I will not go to sleep until I have finished the book.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 2]

That's a problem. However, one of the main reasons we started this no buy thing for me, one of my primary objectives was to spend less time shopping.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 2]

Online. And I. When you're reading, not audiobook listening, but.

[Host 1]

Like reading a book, you cannot do anything else.

[Host 2]

You can't do anything else. You could, you have to, you have to stop to cook, you know, but you can read while you're eating.

[Host 1]

I have very clear. When I lived by myself for like five years, I know for sure that I cooked while I read. I ran a bath and got into the bath and then got out of the bath and dried myself off all with one hand while reading a book.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 2]

I don't have the capacity to cook and read at the same time. Like my brain fog says. No. So I do have to stop to cook.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

I would just not eat.

[Host 2]

You know, it's good that you, it.

[Host 1]

Is a struggle that you stop to eat. It is good that you stop to eat.

[Host 2]

It's a struggle. But I do. But I do. I struggle, but I do it because I gotta. So that has meant that I will spend hours and hours and hours and hours and hours reading, but I am not spending those hours looking for the exact right perfect shelf for the space between the new smaller refrigerator and the gap that it leaves in the larger gap, you know, that the old refrigerator left. Although I did eventually buy a 6 inch wide, 80 inch tall shelf that slides right exactly between the refrigerator and the pantry. And it looks like it was built in.

[Host 1]

One of the great things about puzzles is they are a thing for your hands to do while you listen to an audiobook.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

Because they use different. One of the. One of the neat things about the way human brains are set up is so you have like an auditory loop. You have a pathway for a language to come in and out. And some people can pretty well pay attention to two channels. They can switch their attention from one to the other so effectively and so fast that they can get adequate meaning out of both.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

But if I have language going, if I'm having thoughts, I am not hearing what someone else is saying. I am not hearing the podcast or the audiobook or whatever.

[Host 2]

Right.

[Host 1]

I have one channel and that's true for most people. But the visuospatial areas of my brain also have just one channel and it's a separate channel. So I can do a visuospatial non language task while consuming a language thing. And it means that I am not ruminating.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

Which is one of the worst things you can do with a brain is to just like sit in the horror.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

Things have to be confronted.

[Host 2]

The only way out is through.

[Host 1]

But like sometimes you need full escape.

[Host 2]

And a great way ruminating is not thinking and processing. Ruminating is just spiraling.

[Host 1]

Is just like sitting in the horror as opposed to processing and moving through it. Which is. I had a student years ago who was numbing, who was self medicating with Lord of the Rings.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

Which like can relate. Super hard.

[Host 2]

Super hard.

[Host 1]

Super hard. She was watching the movies and she's like, if I'm just sad and cry while I watch the Lord of the Rings, does that count as going through the tunnel? And I was like, are you like when you get to the end of it, have you released something or did you just sit in the sadness? And she was very much like, I was just sitting in the sadness. Which like can relate. And also.

[Host 2]

And some, you know, but like once in a while you just gotta feel the feeling.

[Host 1]

You have to feel the feeling sometimes. And sometimes you have to manage the pain. Like you can't spend your life in pain. That is not, that is not how healing happens. You have to, you have to manage the pain. In addition, you have to, you have.

[Host 2]

To manage the pain and then you actually have to do the work of healing. You have to do both.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

You have to spend some time actually feeling the feelings and Moving through and.

[Host 2]

Processing and having compassion and all that.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

Turning toward the difficult feelings with kindness and compassion.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 2]

Which is hard.

[Host 1]

No longer about no Buy, but, I.

[Host 2]

Mean, it kind of is because one of the reasons people buy things is to avoid feeling their feelings.

[Host 1]

Oh, yeah, absolutely. One of the reasons people shop.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

Is a distraction from.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

And let's face it, like, we restarted this podcast because we anticipated things were going to get bad.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

We were 100% right.

[Host 2]

Right. It's so.

[Host 1]

It's so bad in so many ways. I'll tell you what, though. I am impressed with the resiliency of the filmy skin of late capitalism's bubble. In the same way that the housing market collapse was artificially postponed by the mechanisms of capital itself, which, if you've seen the movie the Big Short, they explain it very comprehensively. There's a character whose name I forget. Somebody's gonna know who anticipates the collapse of the housing market. And so he goes to banks and they invent a financial instrument for him to bet against the housing market. And they're like, you can have as much as spend as much as you want on this. He runs an investment fund, and he sort of has a sense of when it's gonna happen. And the financial markets themselves break their own rules in order to prevent the collapse from happening. So his fund that he's, like, bet against the housing market is dropping and dropping and dropping, and he's like, why hasn't it happened yet? And he sees the ways they are, like, faking it and trying to make it look like everything's okay even though everything's not okay. And eventually it, like, it cannot sustain and it does collapse. And we all remember. Well, no, not all of us, but, like, if you were around in 2008, you remember that it collapsed and it was.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

Just terrible for so many people.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 2]

And if you bought a house in.

[Host 1]

2004, you were underwater on that house.

[Host 2]

Four years later, like me.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

But if you bought a house in 2012.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 2]

You did.

[Host 3]

Okay.

[Host 1]

That house is now worth four times as much as you paid for it.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 2]

So not like me.

[Host 1]

So I am grateful in a way that that is currently happening.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

Like, there's a lot of, like, leading indicators that the economy is degrading. You just sent me an article about an increase in dogs being surrendered to shelters, which often happens, like, when there's an increase, it's an indication, not that, like, dogs are getting harder to manage, but that people don't have the financial capacity to Care for their beloved pet. And it's very sad.

[Host 2]

Okay, that is not what I took away from that article. What I took away from that article is no adoption fees for a week. So free dog. Were you, Were you.

[Host 1]

I mean, do you need a dog?

[Host 2]

I want a dog.

[Host 1]

Okay, catch a dog.

[Host 2]

Malin won't take a dog because he is the primary dog taker. Carer.

[Host 1]

That's fair then.

[Host 2]

But I think that our youngest dog needs her own dog. Yeah, I think Sadie needs a dog. And I think that's true. But like, Maylon's also right that he.

[Host 1]

Would, he would have to do most of the work.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 2]

Of all the.

[Host 3]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Host 2]

And like, I can't. But I do think that Sadie would be happy.

[Host 1]

Talk about no buy. Pets are expensive.

[Host 3]

Right.

[Host 1]

And I thought free dog. The cost of vet care has increased faster than the overall rate of inflation.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

Which is one of the reasons why people are surrendering dogs.

[Host 2]

Dogs are expensive. And Sadie's on pain meds long term. Now she has a problem with her hip and the doctors can't find anything wrong, but when she takes the pain meds, she clearly feels better.

[Host 1]

So long term, now we got a.

[Host 2]

Five year old dog on long term pain meds. So.

[Host 3]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Host 1]

So there's other leading indicators like that. Just like early signs that things aren't going great, Prices continue to go up. The jobs situation is really bad. And the firing of the head of the Bureau of Labor Statistics is just like appalling autocratic nightmare because it means we will not have data we can rely on about what's actually going on.

[Host 2]

In the economy, which not providing data on things is. Is, Is fascism one on one.

[Host 1]

Yeah, it's so. But, but jobs are not growing as fast and are actually dropping. There's all these stories. I mean, there's always stories about how people graduating from college now are entering a job market. That's appalling. But like, it's, it's, it's bad. There, There are bad things happening. And I'm not going to catalog all the bad stuff because that's not what this is.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 2]

People know.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

And if they don't know, like, they don't need to know.

[Host 3]

Good. Good.

[Host 2]

You don't need to know.

[Host 1]

Bad. All the bad things Trump promised he.

[Host 2]

Would do, he's doing them.

[Host 1]

It's all happening. The Project 2025 tracker, is it? Last time I checked, 46%.

[Host 2]

Wow. In less than a year.

[Host 1]

I mean, so this is actually very similar to Reagan's project 1980. He got as far as 60%. All of it happened in the first year. And then it stopped. And one of the reasons it stopped is because of Congress, which is why we're not going to talk about gerrymandering. I'm not going to go into it. So all the things like we. In as of November, we were on the train. We stay on that train, and that train is going to the destination we all know it's going to. Something's going to happen in the future. And until then, stronger than the fire. Like, absolutely. The house is on fire. The fire is getting hotter. More and more rooms are on fire. More and more people are being dragged under. Oh, God. This is not what I want to be like, sending as the message, but, like, our job is to be stronger than the fire. And.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

The point of no buy is to keep us connected. Well, not to participate in Trump's economy.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 2]

Not to build the fire.

[Host 1]

To use and enjoy the things that we actually own so that we stay connected with the things and people around us that actually matter, rather than distracting ourselves from what really matters with shit that just does not matter.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

I am going to give myself a little bit of a pass because the way that I have been spending money has been to increase. Decrease the volume of stuff in my house, but increase the ventralness of the stuff in my house.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

Which, I mean, maybe that's actually what matters, though. I truly just don't want to spend money. Like, it feels bad to spend money.

[Host 2]

It does. But I do feel good about giving money to the Boston Early Music Festival, supporting the Metropolitan Opera in their choice to put on their third ever opera by a woman composer.

[Host 1]

Hoo boy.

[Host 2]

In 130 years of existence. You know, I feel okay about that. So if I'm gonna spend a huge amount of money on anything, it's gotta be something necessary or something that is in line with my values.

[Host 1]

I am paying an artist to do an oil painting of our dogs.

[Host 3]

Aw.

[Host 1]

I feel good about that.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

I feel good about spending that money. I'm giving it.

[Host 2]

And oil paintings of your dogs was not on your oil. On your no buy list.

[Host 1]

Not on my no buy list. Oil painting of my dogs. I'm also going to have her read.

[Host 2]

$60 a month in candles and oil painting.

[Host 1]

Oil painting for my dogs. She also agreed to paint a portrait of me that I can use as my author portrait.

[Host 2]

Oh, that's nice.

[Host 1]

So it's not like a photograph of me. I don't have to pose for a photograph.

[Host 2]

That's nice.

[Host 1]

It's a Painting.

[Host 2]

That's nice.

[Host 1]

An oil painting. I'm not like, please nobody think that I know what I'm talking about when it comes to art. But I really love the texture of oil paintings as contrast to watercolor or acrylics. Like, I. Like, I can look at an oil painting with the way the light reflects off of it just, like, forever. I love it so much. And the fact that this artist, like, special, like, it's. What she does is oil paintings is. I just. I love it so much. I'm so excited to have Thunder and Olive captured in this beautiful medium.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 2]

And if you're gonna. If you're gonna to spend money, it should go to stuff that you're going to be excited about and love and.

[Host 1]

Like, let me acknowledge, like, the privilege to have, like, extra money in my life to be able to commission a portrait of my dogs, for God's sake.

[Host 2]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Host 1]

I've been wondering if we should do a How are we saving money episode. Like, because we come from a life of pores. Extreme penny pinching.

[Host 2]

Real poor.

[Host 3]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Host 2]

Like, free lunch at school.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 2]

Like, below the poverty line. Government defined poor.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

Food stamps poor. Heating only one room in the house poor.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

So we're good at that. And I know that the way I spend money now is heavily shaped by that experience.

[Host 2]

Oh, yes.

[Host 1]

But there might be things that we could offer to people as, like, money saving tips. Because even as I spend money, like commissioning a fucking oil portrait of my dog.

[Host 2]

And your 60amonth candle subscription.

[Host 1]

My. My 55. Thank you very much. Dollar a month candle subscription that I love. That absolutely gives me $60 worth of joy every month when I open it. Yes, please. At the same time, I still look at things like ginger shots. They're $2 each. And I realize that you can buy a whole, like, a big hand of ginger for $2.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

And blend it with lemon juice and freeze it in nuggets. And, like, it's a fraction of the price. So we're not buying ginger shots anymore, which are, like, one of the things I rely on to help me get through migraines. Ginger is so good for it.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

And so we've transitioned, so we're, like, no longer spending all that money on ginger shots. We just, like, it takes half an hour, not even from start to finish, to make a month's worth of ginger shots for less than $3.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

Did you think we should do an episode on money saving?

[Host 2]

I feel like there's a lot of people who talk about how to save Money.

[Host 1]

Yeah.

[Host 2]

And we are not as expert as those people.

[Host 1]

Yeah. And the number one way to save.

[Host 2]

Money is not buying things.

[Host 1]

Don't buy stuff.

[Host 3]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Host 1]

It's not just about which we are.

[Host 2]

Also not expert in.

[Host 1]

We are not. But I feel at this point, I feel pretty expert in does, like, is this a ventral thing to have in my house, or does it make me feel bad? And if it makes me feel bad, that is enough of a reason for it not to be in my house anymore.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 2]

Which I don't think many people are good at and very few people talk about. Really? Only Dana K. White talks about that.

[Host 1]

Well, I mean, that's what the Konmari method is. Does this spark joy? Keep only the things that spark joy. But she just didn't talk about it in terms of, like, polyvagal theory. Polyvagal theory. Like, brain science of, like, the reason you do that is because you want to walk into your home and have it. Only have things that when you look at them, you're like.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

As opposed to having things where you're like, oh, it just feels.

[Host 3]

Oh.

[Host 1]

But how do I get rid of it? I cannot allow to get rid of the thing.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 2]

My refrigerator sparked joy until it stopped working.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

And refrigerators felt really hard to get rid of.

[Host 2]

Good about that refrigerator.

[Host 1]

Yeah. That's why people shop so carefully for the big stuff.

[Host 2]

Yeah, I did that.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 2]

I like my new refrigerator, though.

[Host 1]

Is this an episode?

[Host 2]

Did we do it?

[Host 1]

I think I update. It's not. So for me, it's not so much a no buy as it is a combo decluttering and increasing ventralness of the stuff that I do have.

[Host 2]

Mine's a reduction of time shopping and also a reduction of spending. But, like, now I really have to do an oh buy because I used up all your money. You don't have. I used up all my money.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 2]

And then some.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 2]

So it's gonna take me a bit to dig out of that hole.

[Host 3]

So.

[Host 2]

The next time we do an update, I will be. I will have nothing to report.

[Host 1]

So.

[Host 2]

No buy.

[Host 1]

It's complicated. And let's face it, shopping is sometimes ventral and fun and very often a numbing distraction. And we are not against numbing. We just know you also need to spend time feeling the feelings and doing the work and that kind of stuff. But you can't be stronger than the fire if you are not granting yourself the opportunity to heal through a combination of rest, pain management, and processing of all the feelings that are arising in the midst of the horror show that.

[Host 2]

Is America and like that's this real.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 2]

We don't have abs corpus anymore.

[Host 3]

Yep.

[Host 1]

We're not going to talk about stuff. We're not going to talk about stuff.

[Host 2]

Not talking about stuff.

[Host 1]

Everybody has permission to do what they want to with their money. We are not telling anybody what to do. We're just offering our experiences as a guide for the experiences other people might have and how to think about it. It's about like meeting needs and creating safety.

[Host 2]

Disconnecting from the system of late stage.

[Host 1]

If you possibly can. Whenever you can, which you can't.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

Thoroughly. Because we're all in it. Okay.

[Host 2]

Kill ukulele.

[Host 3]

Okay. Yeah.

[Host 2]

I want to die on my bathroom floor in this house.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 2]

Which is not to say I want to die. I'm just saying that the bathroom is the most likely room to die in in the house anyway.