Feminist Survival Project – "An Alternative to Hope (From Emily)" Released: November 13, 2024

In the episode titled "An Alternative to Hope (From Emily)" from the Feminist Survival Project podcast, hosts Emily Nagoski and Amelia Nagoski explore the intricate relationship between hope, despair, and faith. Drawing from personal experiences and philosophical insights, Emily delves into alternative frameworks for sustaining individuals who find traditional notions of hope insufficient or even counterproductive in the face of overwhelming stress and mental health challenges.

1. Introduction to the Concept of Hope

Emily Nagoski opens the discussion by referencing John Green's approach to combating depression through hope, particularly highlighting his June 25 video where he emphasizes taking a break from promoting hope ([00:45]). Emily appreciates the comfort that hope provides to many but quickly pivots to address those for whom this conventional understanding of hope doesn't resonate.

"Hopelessness is a lie and despair is a lie."
— Emily Nagoski ([01:27])

She introduces Emily Dickinson's poignant metaphor:
"Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the tune without the words and never stops at all."
This imagery underscores the relentless and sustaining nature of hope for many individuals ([01:22]).

2. The Fragility of Hope

Emily discusses the experiences of people whose hope has been severely compromised by life's adversities. She explains that for some, hope becomes an untenable concept, leading to a sense of utter helplessness.

"I lost my ability to justify my thoughts, feelings, and plans based on what I thought was possible. I felt totally helpless."
— Emily Nagoski ([02:33])

Drawing from her personal journey, Emily shares that her hope "broke" in the early 2000s, leading her to seek alternatives that could sustain her without relying on the fragile link between desired outcomes and their perceived probabilities.

3. Redefining Hope: Introducing "Unimaginable Hope" and Faith

Inspired by the work of Adrian Martin, a moral philosopher, Emily introduces a nuanced understanding of hope. Martin's model conceptualizes hope as a combination of desire for an outcome and the belief in its possibility, albeit uncertain.

"Hope is justifying your feelings, thoughts, and plans based on your assessment that a desired outcome is possible but not certain."
— Adrian Martin ([04:12])

Emily extends this by presenting an alternative he terms "unimaginable hope." Unlike traditional hope, this form is non-contingent and unlinked from the probability of outcomes, functioning instead as a steadfast faith.

"Faith is an unimaginable hope. A hope for something we believe without reason is on the other side of the mountain."
— Emily Nagoski ([05:07])

This redefinition allows individuals to persist in their endeavors despite lacking a concrete belief in positive outcomes.

4. Personal Experiences and Coping Mechanisms

Emily shares her struggle with depression, describing how conventional hope could no longer sustain her. Instead, she cultivated faith—a belief in the journey itself rather than its destination.

"My faith is not in any supernatural critter, but in the arc of history, bending toward justice as long as all of us keep pressing it toward justice."
— Emily Nagoski ([13:00])

She draws inspiration from Sonia Renee Taylor, who embodies this concept through her reflections on ancestors striving for freedom amidst despair.

"Please, life, surprise me. Shock me with your grace. Astound me with your kindness."
— Sonia Renee Taylor ([09:30])

Emily emphasizes that this faith is grounded in an unwavering commitment to progress, independent of immediate results or visible transformations.

5. Embracing Despair and Building Resilience

Acknowledging that not everyone relates to this alternative framework, Emily discusses her approach to reconciling with despair. Instead of viewing despair as an antagonist, she befriended it, fostering a respectful coexistence.

"I developed a trusting and respectful relationship with my despair because I realized I would probably never live without it."
— Emily Nagoski ([12:58])

This acceptance allows her to navigate life with depression without being paralyzed by hopelessness, maintaining productivity and purpose through faith.

6. Concluding Thoughts and Recommendations

In her closing remarks, Emily differentiates between hope and faith, advocating for the latter as a viable sustenance for those whose hope has been fractured. She recommends Adrian Martin’s "How We Hope" for listeners interested in the philosophical underpinnings of her perspective.

"If hope has stopped working for you, I want you to know that there is something else beyond hope that is not contingent on whether or not you think you can make a difference."
— Emily Nagoski ([13:00])

Emily concludes by reaffirming her commitment to her path, underscored by an unwavering faith in collective progress towards justice, even in the absence of traditional hope.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• "Hopelessness is a lie and despair is a lie."
  — Emily Nagoski ([01:27])

• "Faith is an unimaginable hope. A hope for something we believe without reason is on the other side of the mountain."
  — Emily Nagoski ([05:07])

• "Please, life, surprise me. Shock me with your grace. Astound me with your kindness."
  — Sonia Renee Taylor ([09:30])

• "I developed a trusting and respectful relationship with my despair because I realized I would probably never live without it."
  — Emily Nagoski ([12:58])

• "If hope has stopped working for you, I want you to know that there is something else beyond hope that is not contingent on whether or not you think you can make a difference."
  — Emily Nagoski ([13:00])

Final Thoughts

"An Alternative to Hope (From Emily)" offers a profound exploration of sustaining mental resilience beyond traditional hope. By introducing the concept of "unimaginable hope" and intertwining it with faith, Emily provides a nuanced pathway for individuals grappling with deep-seated despair. This episode serves as a beacon for those who find conventional hope inadequate, presenting a philosophical and practical framework to navigate the complexities of mental health within the feminist landscape.