Loading summary
Emily
So I have notes that we're gonna follow and we're gonna talk about kind of fun, lighthearted stuff. Cause it's been a really rough week news wise. Yeah. Like, so let's not do that. And as a change of pace, escapism, I wanna talk about the art and science of Disney adulting.
Sarah
Disney adulting. Which of course can be generalized to other.
Emily
Yeah, escapism. But I mean it is kind of specific to Disney because as an example of things that people kind of look down on that are effective for some people. Yeah. I mean we use as an example in burnout, something having meaning, being connected to something larger than yourself is really important for well being. And we use as an example of that a Trekkie, somebody who feels connected to a whole community of other Trekkies. And what the idea of Star Trek represents in terms of like a kind of future utopia. Like and how the thing that gives you meaning doesn't have to be God or service to mankind. Like it doesn't have to be something of value to other people. It can just be something that, that's meaningful for you.
Sarah
It can be knee high boots and a miniskirt and a wig and winged eyeliner and dressing up as Uhura and going and being, you know, like jaw drop gagged, awing the children with the cosplay.
Emily
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Disney is another thing that kind of gets poo pooed. Disney World, Disneyland, Disney Parks. Because what I used to think was, can't you go someplace real? Like if you're going to spend all that money to travel, don't you want.
Sarah
To go someplace real to actual France instead of like France the Beast's castle. Right.
Emily
I definitely thought that. And probably in past in my life I would have rather do that. But a, it actually is more expensive to do that than Disney World. Disney World's expensive, but it's not as expensive as Paris or Tokyo. Right, right. And I also want to talk about. One of the reasons I particularly enjoy going to Disney World now is because of the mobility, access. It's the most accessible place on earth.
Sarah
And the more they change, the more accessible they make it.
Emily
And they constantly change. It's constantly different and they're always making it more accessible. A few years ago there were not nearly as many really accessible bathrooms. A lot of the old bathrooms were built to like the 1970s or 80s code when you didn't have to have a stall wide enough for the wheelchair next to the toilet. Which means that if you take your wheelchair into that tiny little stall, your wheelchair Faces the. Anyway, what I'm saying is they've upgraded and updated, and because it is unlike a normal city, it is constantly being invested in, the infrastructure is constantly being upgraded. And since I've been a wheelchair user for any kind of walking more than a hundred feet, I have been to Boston, New York, Philadelphia, London, Baltimore, Ocean City, London. Like, I've been to a lot of places. Providence. I was just in Providence this weekend. And being in an actual real place in a wheelchair sucks big floppy donkey dick. It is the worst. And at Disney World, 90% of everything.
Sarah
I really expected New York City to be easier than it was.
Emily
It sucked.
Sarah
It sucked. It sucked. Sucked.
Emily
Yeah. Yeah. So it is. I mean, and I. Like, last summer, our mom was like, hey, should we go to Paris together? And you were like, I'm gonna be in Amsterdam. Maybe we could do a thing. And I was like, no, no, that's not possible for me. Like, I wouldn't enjoy it. It would be just a lot of work. I want to go. That would be amazing to do.
Sarah
But it's just having been in Amsterdam, it would have been so hard.
Emily
Yeah. Based on my experience in London, I went to London for work, Right.
Sarah
Yeah.
Emily
And I can make mobility work if I have to, if I'm there, like, to do a job, but I'm not going to go voluntarily because it's not relaxing, it's not a vacation, it's not fun. It's not vacation to have to deal with mobility in accessibility. So thing number one about Disney World is that it's physically accessible to a lot more people than, quote, unquote, real places.
Sarah
Yes.
Emily
Another thing that is really valid about why people wouldn't want to go real places and why they want to go specifically to a Disney park is re parenting. And I wonder if you may be more capable of talking about this in a smart way than I am or.
Sarah
I don't know. It's complicated. But. So for Gen X, there's a very strong narrative around folks of our generation.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
Sort of 1965 to 1980. Very roughly.
Emily
Birth years. Yeah.
Sarah
Where our childhoods were characterized by a lot more parentification. We were given a lot more responsibility for ourselves and our siblings at a much earlier age than millennials were.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
And the younger the millennial, the more the difference is clear. How you grew up. Like.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
And part of it is the way we were grandparented because our grandparents were alive. Like, our grandmother was teaching us to cook and to sew before the age of 10.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
Like, we were taught the skills of how to run a household.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
We had. We were not paid to do, like, cleaning chores in our house.
Emily
No. Yeah, no, there was no, like, like, weekly allowance.
Sarah
Other kids we knew had allowances. Part of that was because of, like, the low income in our family.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
But, like, we also learned how to, like, grow a garden and grow food in our yards, all of which are skills that are extremely valuable. And the more difficult the world gets, the more valuable it is to be able to have the skills that, you know, grandparents who grew up in the Depression.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
Definitely had to cultivate.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
So part of it is how we were grandparented, and part of it is how we were parented. And it means that.
Emily
But also at a population level, we are of a generation where that is an extremely common story.
Sarah
And for many kids, it's even more true than it was for us. The phrase latchkey kid describes a lot of people who, like, when they got home, their parents were not there because both their parents had to work. Because this is the beginning of Reaganomics.
Emily
When single income no longer enough to.
Sarah
No longer enough to run a middle class household.
Emily
Yeah, yeah.
Sarah
And that's not the fault of feminism, which is the narrative that they would like to sell, but rather the fault of trickle down economics, the idea of, like, corporate welfare. Yeah. So the reason why our generation was parentified is because the economic world changed and we were given all this responsibility to take care of ourselves, essentially. Which is it means that as adults now, like, as we approach 50, there is an extent to which we are recognizing the ways we were not cared for, mostly, like, emotionally and in terms of access to play.
Emily
Yeah. There wasn't a lot of childhood in our childhood.
Sarah
And that's true for a lot of Gen Xers. They're now looking back on their childhood. Exactly.
Emily
When I say us, I don't mean you and me. I mean, like, our generation.
Sarah
Our generation. Yeah. And it might be less true for millennials than this is for us, but, like, it's for sure true for us. And the whole idea of a childhood, honestly, like boomers.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
They were the first generation of, like, they have a protected teenage years space. Yes, right, right. And that didn't last long.
Emily
And of course, that's not just true for people amid a generation. At a population level, there are individuals of all ages now who had kinds of childhoods where they were parentified or they didn't get much joy. And so, like, trying to just sort of access that as an adult is a valid thing to go to a place that is literally the happiest place on earth.
Sarah
Right. Designed specifically to act like. We talk about polyvagal theory. Ventral spaces.
Emily
We're going to talk about that very soon.
Sarah
Sympathetic spaces and dorsal spaces. And Disney World is designed to be as ventral a space as it can possibly be, which people find difficult.
Emily
Not just ventral, but playful.
Sarah
Yes, playful.
Emily
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So let's talk about the ways that they. That Disney, you and I are most familiar with Disney World. I've never been to Disneyland, so you'll have to talk to Disneyland.
Sarah
Okay, I can talk about that.
Emily
Okay. But first I want to talk about, in terms of polyvagal theory, the sympathetic activation. Simultaneous activation of sympathetic and ventral together is placed right. And the environment is really safe. Feeling it is ventral. And it starts with the. I mean, just the landscaping. Everything is clean and pristine.
Sarah
There are literally trash cans. I think it's every 10ft.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
Like, there are rules about how regularly people need to encounter a trash can and a recycling bin so they don't drop their shit on the floor. Yeah.
Emily
The story is that Walt Disney bought a hot dog and walked down Main street usa, eating his hot dog. And when he finished his hot dog, he said, there needs to be a trash can here. Yeah, like, but also they invest not just in the infrastructure to make it accessible, but in maintenance people so that it is constantly cleaned. That the. The buildings are cartoonishly pretty in ways that no city can maintain. Like, I live on Cape Cod in one of the least developed towns with really strict. I live north of 6A, which means that it's, you know, close to the shore of Boston Bay. And there are real restrictions to, like, keeping Sandwich quaint. The. That's true for a lot of towns. Like, in some towns, it's like only a certain strip. In Sandwich, it happens to be particularly vast. The area that is required. Like, you can't have a big corporate plastic sign. You need to have like a. A wood sign with, like, gold paint. Like, you got to keep.
Sarah
And lettering.
Emily
Yeah, you got to keep it quaint if you want to have it in Sandwich.
Sarah
Like, the size of the windows of your own home was limited.
Emily
Yeah. The house I live in. Yeah. We were not allowed to change the size of the windows on the exterior. So anyway, Disney World does all of that work and is constantly renewing and refreshing. And it's, you know, they're making the landscape, the environment feel safe and clean and polished. There's also music everywhere.
Sarah
Everywhere.
Emily
And it's always setting a certain mood they create.
Sarah
It's so delicious.
Emily
They have speakers that Play bird sounds because you can't rely on a bird to be pretty every moment of the day. So I mean, you just walk around and there's pretty animal noises and music that evokes a very specific mood. Very specific. Depending on where you are. Every hotel lobby has their own playlist of custom music.
Sarah
Yeah. If you search the Internet for Disney resort loops, you can go Disney Resort loops. The, specifically the Poly. The Disney's Polynesian village and resort. And like, hashtag problematic, like, hashtag oh, 100%. Like, it's so. It's kind of not okay.
Emily
But man, it's from the 70s when Tiki culture was a big.
Sarah
And even in the 70s, that resort loop, they made an effort to get native Hawaiian performers. And that loop is so good. It's one of the ones I rely on on airplanes to just keep me totally chill on an airplane.
Emily
Yeah, yeah. And also the food as part of the environment is also designed to feel very. The majority of the food is familiar comfort food. And there's familiar comfort food from a lot of different cultures, primarily American. I mean, it's burgers and chicken tenders and pizza and the kinds of things that like, kids.
Sarah
A six year old will eat.
Emily
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Sarah
So that you don't have to. There's no so that. I mean, a lot of Disney is like, we're going to help parents manage their kids by making there be something your child will eat.
Emily
Yeah, yeah. But there's also. If you're an adult and you want some comfort food, here you go. I got to say, one of the most soothing meals in life for me is like a half a roast chicken with mashed potatoes and vegetables. This is a thing I order at hotels when I'm feeling like, me, me, me, and I get a half a chicken with potatoes and vegetables. And it's like, okay, that's. And you know where you can get that at Disney Fricking everywhere.
Sarah
Yep.
Emily
Like, you can get jerk chicken, you can get barbecued chicken, but you can get a half chicken with potatoes and vegetables at a lot of, like, quick service. It's their version of fast food where you go to a counter and order a thing, and it's right here, right now.
Sarah
It's delivered to you and here's your plate with half a chicken pile of mashed potatoes and green beans. At Pop Century. Pop Century is one of the value resorts. Yeah.
Emily
It's one of the least expensive, least.
Sarah
Expensive hotels that you can stay on Disney property. So it is within the quote unquote, Disney bubble. I was There solo back in like 2019, maybe 2018. And I just wanted like comfort food because I was there because I was exhausted from book tour stuff. And I walked into the food court and I ordered fucking pot roast.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
Pot roast with mashed potatoes and green beans. And I just sat there by myself eating with the like spork that I had brought myself. So I wasn't using plastic knives and forks. And it was this fall apart delicious with this gravy that was just like evocative of my childhood in a way. Like, how could they possibly have known?
Emily
How did they know that this was.
Sarah
The flavor of my childhood? Pot roast gravy.
Emily
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Sarah
But there's also fine dining.
Emily
There is also access to novel foods and super sophisticated gourmet food. Yeah. Which is not, I think, part of like the ventral, but it's part of the play for people who are foodies. Novel and gourmet. Beautifully made food is playful. It is for me, that's for sure.
Sarah
Have you been to their sushi restaurant? Their like four hour dining experience?
Emily
No. That's $250.
Sarah
Yeah.
Emily
I'm not spending $250 on sushi. I live on Cape Cod.
Sarah
Yeah, that's fair.
Emily
I mean like, I'm sure Japanese sushi because it is a Japanese sushi place in their Japan Pavilion in Epcot. But like, I just can't, I just can't imagine spending $250 on just me eating one meal. That seems crazy to me.
Sarah
Yeah.
Emily
Which is not to say I've never paid a lot of money for a meal like I've had.
Sarah
But you do love sushi and you are a person who enjoys novelty and food. And like, if anyone could truly get $250 worth of pleasure. Extraordinary experience.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
Joy out of a meal, it would be you. Whereas I don't like sushi.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
It would be dumb for me to go. It would be rude for me to go.
Emily
For you to go. Yeah.
Sarah
Because I'd be like, I can't eat. I'm not interested in anything on this menu.
Emily
So what I like to do, how I get pleasure from sushi is I go to a real sushi restaurant. Like I. The most, the best sushi experience I ever had was me doing what I usually do with sushi restaurants, which is where I go. I sit at the bar and I tell the chef, make me whatever you want. And I went to this place in New York while we were writing Burnout actually. And I just sat at the bar, make me whatever you want. And he started with, like, little lightweight, low key stuff.
Sarah
And you're like.
Emily
I'm like, yeah, this is great. You know, should I put soy sauce on this? And he kept giving me stuff, and it ended with like a whole fish on the plate. Eyeballs, bones, everything. And I was like, how do I eat this? And he was like, oh, you just. You just pick it up and eat it. And I was like, could you just cut it for me so that I could. So he graciously cut it up into pieces. But, like, I was like, big fish head with eyeballs. Sounds great. Like, it was delicious. It was freaking delicious. Yeah. Yeah. So, like, he knew, like, let me be this white lady and let me be a little hesitant. And like, just as. As I was like, yum, good. Give me more of that.
Sarah
He like, escalated.
Emily
He escalated to like, this is.
Sarah
I'm gonna give you a whole fish. Are you gonna eat the head?
Emily
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, yes, please, I will eat that head. That sounded wrong. Please don't take that. Gross. Sorry. Anyway. Anyway. Yes, I enjoy food novelty, and I find that fun and playful. And when I go to new places, that's a thing I enjoy doing is like, let me try something that I've never had before. Let me try something that's local, you know, And I'm willing to spend money on a risk of a thing I might not. Like.
Sarah
Yeah.
Emily
Just for the pleasure of having said, I tried this thing.
Sarah
Yeah.
Emily
You know, so. Yeah. But $250 is. It did not cost me 200. It didn't even cost me in New York City.
Sarah
New York City. Just getting whatever the chef decided to give you. It didn't even.
Emily
Right. Like, that's. I mean, I think, like, if you're gonna get sushi, it doesn't need to be Disney sushi.
Sarah
Sure. Though. There is, like, a service aspect, like a big part of what you pay for at fine dining. Like, there is a big show, and I don't mean, like, there's a performance with song and dance. I mean, like, the waitstaff is a show.
Emily
Yeah. And it's true at all of Disney that the employees are called cast members and they are putting on a performance.
Sarah
Even housekeeping and janitorial services, they're cast.
Emily
Members expected to do emotional labor of being nice to people who are rude to them.
Sarah
Yeah.
Emily
Like, you're at Disney. They're not allowed to get snippy with you if you are a, you know, total dick.
Sarah
Right, right. They. Which means when someone like us shows up and is like, super nice and.
Emily
Ready to Play the game.
Sarah
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Emily
They love it.
Sarah
It is so great for them when they meet an adult who's, like, ready to play along.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
And it means that when you, like, have something that doesn't go quite right, but you're sort of, like, nice about it. You were very impressed with me one time when we had trouble with, like, our reservation and housekeeping coming when we had, like, a do not disturb sign. And, like, we still, like, we still had our room. We should not be being. I felt like we were being kicked out of our room.
Emily
Right. When we had a reservation for another night. Yeah.
Sarah
It felt bad. And so we talked to customer. I talked to customer service.
Emily
Yeah. And this is before I was really a Disney adult. I was just along for the ride.
Sarah
Like, you had not understood, like, what the game was quite yet. And the lady on the phone asked, like, if there was, like, anything else she could do for me. And I was like, I know this is a big ask, but it has really felt not magical to have this intrusion on our vacation. And I was wondering if we could have check out at 2:00 tomorrow instead of 11. And she was like, that's not something that we would ordinarily do, but I'm going to go ahead and make that happen for you.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
And it's because, like, it's the most magical place on earth.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
Disney World is supposed to be, especially Magic Kingdom is supposed to be the most magical place on earth. And when I say it doesn't feel magical.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
I was here on vacation with my aunt and my cousin and my mom and my sister.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
And it didn't feel magical. They were like, we're gonna help you feel magical.
Emily
Yeah. In January, I went and my wheelchair broke. God, it was miserable. And rich. Your husband came down to help me because you physically couldn't do it to get them to help me.
Sarah
You.
Emily
He's physically capable. He's also an annual passholder and could just, like, pop down and get a huge discount on his hotel room and stuff. And, like, at the end of the trip, it was so bad and so hard and it was just so helpful. And it was a huge sacrifice on your part to give up anyway. So, like, I needed all the help I could get. So I was accepting help from everyone who could offer it. And at the end of the thing, we wanted to get back so that Rish could get back to you as early as possible. So we had booked an early morning flight out of Orlando.
Sarah
Crack it on.
Emily
Yeah, crack it on. And I had to return I had rented a wheelchair. So I had a wheelchair to use, a power chair, because my chair was broken, and we had to return it to the thing. And if you're staying on Disney property, the rule is that you have to be present when the rental company comes to drop off or pick up your rented mobility chair. Yes.
Sarah
Just to clarify, you're not renting the chair from Disney. You're renting it from a third party.
Emily
Third party.
Sarah
And they're gonna show up at the resort to get the chair, and you're supposed to be there to meet them.
Emily
Yeah. That's Disney policy. That is the rule. But we, Rich went and asked, like, here's what's going on. We have this because the chair's broken, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, the whole miserable situation. And this is another, like, this is not a thing we would ordinarily do, but we're gonna make this happen for you.
Sarah
And, like, and the amount of magic that it does provide when, like, you really need a thing.
Emily
I really needed this. I needed.
Sarah
We needed.
Emily
I mean, we were leaving. So that he could get home. So that you could have your husband.
Sarah
Back and so that you could go.
Emily
Home and so that I could go home. Yeah. Yeah. And they made it happen, even though it was, like, not their policy. And they just, like, went out of their way.
Sarah
They go out of their way.
Emily
They go out of their way.
Sarah
And the emotion they bring to it. Right. Because, like, I have. I have stayed at so many hotels.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
I have stayed in so many hotels across this continent, and bookstores are no joke. Yeah. I've stayed at a lot of hotels, and I have had a lot of people behind a lot of desks roll their eyes at me when I very gently ask for some sort of accommodation or when I talk about how, like, as a person with limitations on my mobility, like, there was this barrier I faced, and I wanted to let you know that I had that experience so that in the future, maybe that could be right. Like, made a little better. And whoever's behind the desk will roll their eyes at me. Yep. And I will say, I see that this is, you know, beyond what you're able to do. I'm just saying if you could pass this on to anybody, like your manager or anyone, just to let you know, this is a disability accommodation issue, and it. It made my stay much less comfortable and would make me choose somewhere else.
Emily
So if you go. If you.
Sarah
If you could just pass it on the chain so other people don't run into this problem, and, like, fine, I guess so actually what almost always happens when I do that is like, they talk about their disability.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
Like, I crack into, like, I'm disabled. This is a problem for me. They roll their eyes and I'm like, I'm trying to be kind. I'm not being a, like, white lady complaining. I'm letting you know that this was a thing I experienced here at this place where you work. And then they tell me about, like, well, everybody struggles in their own way. And here's the way I struggle. And it's like, yeah, so you. And like, they don't expect me to be like. So you get it. So you understand that having these sorts of things, it's not about.
Emily
Yeah, yeah.
Sarah
So, like, I don't. So that's so much emotional work I have to do on my side of the counter. Whereas at Disney, if I have the same sort of like, I want to let you know that I had this experience. They show it's like a. Yes. And of kindness and support.
Emily
Exactly. They.
Sarah
Yes. And my, like, I had this difficulty and I wanted to. I just wanted to let you know about that. And I'm so sorry. You had that experience.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
And so I want to. Since we're talking about, like, the Disney bubble and like, the magic of having cast members who do emotional labor. They don't get paid enough for that. Right?
Emily
They do not get paid enough for that.
Sarah
There's almost no amount that they could be paid that would be worth the amount of emotional labor they are doing. Especially because not everyone is like us. Some people show up and are entitled and bitchy because they're spending a lot of money.
Emily
A lot of money. For a lot of people, this is like a huge expenditure that they will only make one time.
Sarah
Yeah.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
And they want it to be perfect. They expect it to be perfect.
Emily
They expect it to be perfect. I have paid for all of this. It needs to be frickin perfect. And why isn't it perfect? And yeah, like, I, like, I get. People feel like they're under a lot of stress.
Sarah
Yeah. Especially parents who are bringing their children who are like, I expected this to be perfect. Which means I expected my children not to behave the same as they behave everywhere else. Right.
Emily
Yeah. But Disney does everything they can, everything they can to make it as clean and as smooth and as comfortable as possible. In addition to all those environmental things.
Sarah
Yes. The sound and the pavement and the trash cans and.
Emily
And the familiar IPs, the intellectual property of your childhood. Disney owns.
Sarah
They are never going to stop having Snow White. They're never going to stop having Cinderella.
Emily
Right.
Sarah
No matter how like politically garbage those stories are.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
They're never going to stop it because so many of us have that as part of our childhoods.
Emily
Exactly.
Sarah
And it does something for us to meet those characters. And if you're a parent, it does something for you for your child to meet that character. There is, I'm sure you've seen the YouTube video.
Emily
Oh my God.
Sarah
Of a child who had survived cancer. Like a little child. Like a four year old child who had survived cancer and had a Make a Wish trip to Disney World and she had watched Mary Poppins on a loop through her cancer treatment and she got to meet Mary fucking Poppins. Yeah. And when you're a face character. When you're a character, your training is you don't stop hugging the child until the child stops hugging you.
Emily
Uh huh.
Sarah
I missed tiny child whose hair is still growing in from the cancer treatment, met Mary Poppins and just put her arms around her. Yeah. And held on.
Emily
Oh.
Sarah
It is like if you want to go find the video, you can find it.
Emily
It is like, just like.
Sarah
I don't know how this Mary Poppins kept her shit together, but she was.
Emily
Like, they're so good.
Sarah
Yeah.
Emily
Yeah. They really are.
Sarah
And they are not paid enough.
Emily
They're not paying attention considering the magic they are providing. Yeah.
Sarah
Like we've, we've been to Disney.
Emily
Disney does exploit these wonderful employees who.
Sarah
Like, it's an, it's a, it's a cool opportunity to have that job. Put it on your resume.
Emily
Yeah. And it's a professional acting gig is what it is. And it's.
Sarah
Yeah. They employ a lot of professional actors, professional musicians, professional dancers.
Emily
It's nice work if you can get it.
Sarah
The, the live entertainment is my favorite thing about Disney and my favorite thing too. The walk around characters. It includes the shows. Yeah. The Dapper Fucking Dance.
Emily
The Dapper Fucking Dance. But it's a barbershop quartet who sing live on Main Street USA in Disney. And they are Magic Kingdom specifically.
Sarah
And they tell dumb dad jokes.
Emily
Silly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, so these familiar IPs.
Sarah
Hey. When I say hey, you say what? Hey.
Emily
What?
Sarah
And then they'll tell a stupid Disney dad joke.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
Of which I can't think of one right now.
Emily
Yeah, that's fine. Anyway, so these familiar IPs that are, you know, you go and you immerse yourself in something from your childhood and it feels so amazing to be. I mean even everything at Disney World is someone's favorite thing.
Sarah
Everything is someone's favorite. Yep.
Emily
I once had a driver. They have these vans called minivans. They're like red with white polka dots and they're like. It's like a. It's a lift, but it's a lift with a Y. And it's like. But it's run by a Disney. It's driven by a Disney cast member who is telling me that his favorite ip, this thing from his childhood that meant so much to him was Splash Mountain. And like the Brer Rabbit story, which was like, the origins of which are super racist.
Sarah
Yeah. And the. The movie they made of it is, was they. They sought input from the black community when they made it, and then they ignored the advice they got and did the exact opposite. So, like, yeah, that Splash Mountain, racist, intellectual property, but still somebody's favorite.
Emily
This guy was like, really sad that they replaced it with Tiana's Bayou Adventure because it was so meaningful to him when he was a child. The story that it told just was really inspiring for him. Yeah. Even Splash frickin Mountain was this guy, though.
Sarah
Let's just say we have both been on Tiana's Bayou Adventure.
Emily
It's better than Splash Mountain.
Sarah
It's so much better. It's so good.
Emily
Yeah. Yeah.
Sarah
Mama Odie shrinks you down to the size of an insect and then, like, increases your size back up to normal human. Is so good.
Emily
It's. It's. Yeah. So the familiarity.
Sarah
And they replace the racist IP with the. So far only. No, that's not true. There's now two black Disney princesses.
Emily
Yes. Yeah. So.
Sarah
And let me just say for the record, Ariana DeBose deserved a better princess story.
Emily
Yes. Yeah. I haven't seen Wish.
Sarah
Wish was not what it should have been.
Emily
I haven't seen it. I don't care. I'm sure somebody loves it, though. And if you want to meet the princess from Wish, you can remember her name. You can. Yeah. So the familiarity of all the. Like, you get to go be in Cars Land in Disneyland. If you love Cars, you get to.
Sarah
Go be in Cars Land in Disneyland. In Disneyland, they recently added a Star Wars Land, both at Disney World and at Disneyland in Anaheim, California. And as an annual pass holder, Rich got to go to a preview day, which means it was much less crowded and it was just full of people who were, like, really interested in being there. And Rich was born in 1977, which is the year the first Star wars movie came out. He loved Han Solo as a kid. He loved Star wars, and when he walked around a corner and Saw a life size Millennium Falcon.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
It did something to his heart.
Emily
Me too. He had an experience. Me too.
Sarah
Like these IPs. I know it's capitalism. And also it's just like the way we receive our entertainment is filtered through capitalism and holy moly. When they can nail you getting to have access to this experience.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
Even when it's just the exterior of the show building. My God.
Emily
Yeah. I also love me some Star Wars. And when the first time I saw we walk around a thing and there's the actual Millennium Falcon, it, like, overwhelms me. Like, oh, my God. That's.
Sarah
It's right there. Yeah.
Emily
I can just like. Yeah. Because who doesn't want to walk around inside Star Wars? And that's what you do in Galaxy's Edge, which is the name of the Star wars land. Like, it's this little outpost, Black Spire outpost in this town of Batuu. Like, it is all of which is.
Sarah
Original and not part of a specific existing story. But it feels like Star wars it.
Emily
Everything about it feels like Star Wars. The bathroom feels like Star Wars. Right.
Sarah
It's. It.
Emily
It's an unbelievably playful experience to go, like, be in this IP that you love. There's also a Toy Story land that, like, it's Andy's backyard is the setup, and everything's huge. So you feel like you're the scale of a toy, which I can imagine for a kid in particular who loves Toy Story, you get to go be a toy size person living in this, like, huge scale with like giant sneaker footprints in the.
Sarah
Yep.
Emily
Anyway, it's the familiar IPs is another part of the ventral immersion and the.
Sarah
Extreme detail orientation that they have in the design of the spaces so that you feel like Rich forgot he was in a particular park. He was just in Star Wars. Because you can just disappear into it because they block sight lines so that no matter where you look, no matter how high up you look, all you see is where you are.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
Can I talk about the color? Go away. Green. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So one of the things they do in order to make these environments seem as immersive as possible is hide the infrastructure. And one of the ways that they hide the infrastructure, like the speakers and the light poles, if they don't want you to notice that stuff, they paint it the color of the grass where the speaker is hiding. Or in the case of, like, an enormous show building, they'll paint it three different shades of blue. That grade depending on, like, how high up they are, which Changes the shade of blue of the sky. So this enormous show building is virtually invisible. So they paint things this color go away green, which is a variety of shades of green depending on where things are. But there are fences that are go away green. So you don't notice there's a fence there. There are fire hydrants that are go away green so that, like, they're conforming with all the safety standards that they have, but you don't even notice that it's there. Like, you do not see because it's painted go away green. Your brain just ignores it.
Emily
Yeah. So in addition to all this, like, ventral, ventral playful thing, they also give you opportunities and access to intense emotional experiences. And not just like, this is fun and happy, but like, they claw your heart out with especially shows. And yes, there are stage shows and live performances that are fun. And then there's fireworks shows. And I don't mean, like, it's like the 4th of July with a big bunch of fireworks. There's music and projections and a story at the peak of which is usually like a musical medley where like, I.
Sarah
Will find my way I can go the distance I'll be there someday yeah if I can be strong yeah I know every mile will be worth my while yeah. Even if you don't give a shit about Hercules. Go the distance. When it's at, like, it's at the midpoint of the story there, it's about to transition into, oh, here come the bad guys. And you're going to get a montage of bad guys and a medley of their music and the sound of Ursula laughing. And you're like, oh. And then Scar comes on and there's like all these drums and you see the fire and Happily ever after. Controversial opinion. Happily Ever after is the greatest fireworks and projection nighttime show they have ever had.
Emily
I've never seen it. Oh, my God. To be clear, I have tried to see it, but I have severe limitations in terms of my mobility and my energy levels. And getting to a 9 o'clock performance of a fireworks show is hard for me. I've also never seen the Main Street Philharmonic. Oh, my gosh. I've tried so many times. It was like, top priority in my January.
Sarah
They don't make it easy to see the Philharmonic. Philharmonic? Philharmonic. The Main Street Philharmonic is a fucking marching band.
Emily
And I'm so into, like, marching bands.
Sarah
So into marching bands. And they're like, the most entertaining marching. Like, I. There's a lot of different ways to do a marching band. And the way they do it is as comic actors.
Emily
Mm.
Sarah
So when I was at Disneyland, for example, and they transitioned from Luke's theme from Star wars to Darth Vader's theme, like the Imperial March, they start doing the brr, brr. And, like, all of their knees melt and they almost fall over and they're like, we're all going to die. And then they stand up straight and they do, like, the celebratory music at the end of Empire Strikes Back. There's so much.
Emily
But what I'm saying is, during the fireworks shows in particular, they aim for your heart.
Sarah
Oh, they're getting you.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
There's a reason Disney movies are successful. Even they are so hashtag problematic. It's because they're fucking masters at storytelling.
Emily
At storytelling and using every. Every element.
Sarah
Every element.
Emily
The projections, the fireworks, the lights, the environmental lights in the park. The. Everything is five actors, 60° all around. Like. And so, so many people cry at these firework shows because they are good, because they are well told, because they are powerfully told. And you are so deeply immersed in the music and the story and the. And the visuals. Like, it's. They powerfully move you into a heightened emotional state. And that is not a thing that you get to do on the regular.
Sarah
Yeah.
Emily
If you're just a person who lives in the world, in the real world, in Paris, in London, in New York, you have to go to a theater and pay hundreds of dollars to sit through a show that might get you to that heightened emotional state. In Disney World, it's just the thing you do at the end of the day. Yeah.
Sarah
Your kids asleep in their stroller and you are crying on Main Street.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
Yeah. And I mean, so they keep outdated intellectual properties like Peter Pan. Like, Peter Pan doesn't belong in modern narratives anymore. And. And they keep Peter Pan because. Well, I mean, not least because you can fly. You can fly. You can fly Two thirds to 80% of the way through almost all of their shows. Tinker Bell flies on a zipline from the top of Cinderella Castle. Like, dancing. She is harnessed and it's dark. But her costume is made of LED lights. Her wig is of LED lights. Her shoes are made of LED lights. So this glowing Tinkerbell flies across the sky.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
To the tune of you can fly, you can fly, you can fly. Gets me every time.
Emily
Yeah. Let's talk about Fantasmic, which is at Hollywood Studios. It's in this big, like, water, like, arena with a big mountain in it. And it was Sorcerer Mickey. And, like, it's Mickey having a nightmare he's having a dream that turns into a nightmare, and then he's like, this is my dream. And, like, he, like, harnesses his own joy and positive to, like, turn it into a lucid dream where he conquers the villains and, like, it's lights and music and Mickey taking control of his narrative, deciding that he has control of his. He has the power of his imagination.
Sarah
And everybody.
Emily
People. I sob.
Sarah
I.
Emily
It's powerful. Yeah.
Sarah
No, it's good. They're good at it. That's the thing. It's like, you can, like, be a teenager and roll your eyes at, like, oh, my God, I can't believe you let them emotionally manipulate you like that.
Emily
But, like, that's what storytelling is.
Sarah
That's. That's what every novel you ever read is. Yeah.
Emily
Yeah. Every movie.
Sarah
That's what every movie you've ever seen is. Even. Even, like, the 1980s teenage kid. Pretty in Pink Eye Rolly. Like, we are literally rolling our eyes at the thing we are performing in. And every teenager who sees it, like, rolls their eyes and, like, is moved. Yes.
Emily
But also, like, sees themselves.
Sarah
You see yourself in it.
Emily
Right.
Sarah
And it's all a metaphor for the self.
Emily
Yeah. And it's so.
Sarah
They're so good at it. This is not a thing that exists.
Emily
In the normal world. In the real, quote, unquote world.
Sarah
Yeah. And the real world is terrible. I haven't been there since October, not least because Florida's a fascist state. Florida is a dangerous place to go. If you're a member of the LGBTQIA2 community, you're safe at Disney, especially among the cast members. You are safe at Disney, and you're not safe in Florida. And there could be visitors to Disney from whom you are not safe.
Emily
So this is my last item on my notes list, is that for all Disney has made this the happiest, magical, most magical place on earth. The one thing they can't control is the other guests.
Sarah
Right.
Emily
So you do still interact with douchebags.
Sarah
Stupid people.
Emily
Douchebags, mean people. Douchebag. Being a person in a wheelchair who often is alone. Cause even when I'm at Disney with you, you don't ride rides. So I still wait alone in line for things a lot. And the number of people who feel like they can cut in line in front of me because I'm in a wheelchair, like, I've. When I was ambulatory, like, fully ambulatory, nobody ever tried to cut in line in front of me at Disney. But, like, in a wheelchair, they feel like they can do that.
Sarah
Yeah, they literally don't see you.
Emily
They often literally don't see me. That is a huge problem. I have start. I put, like, twinkle lights on my chair because at night they, like, nobody looks down below their eyeline. And people compliment my lights. And I'm like, oh, those are beautiful lights. I love that. And I'm like, it's fully a safety feature because people don't see me because I'm down here. Yeah. And when I told somebody that just a couple of, like, middle. Like late, middle aged ladies in their maybe 50s or 60s were just sitting on a park bench. Sitting on a bench, getting ready to watch the fireworks. And I was sitting on a bench, you know, next to a bench, eating my maple popcorn, because. Yum, maple popcorn. Anyway, they were like, oh, yeah. We met somebody once with a service dog who was covered in lights. And we were like. And she said the same thing. Like, people just. People kick the dog because they just don't see the dog. And people are engrossed in where they are and what they're doing, and they don't look down. And so it's because it is so crowded and people are so distracted. It is less safe for those of us who don't.
Sarah
Yeah.
Emily
Yeah. And then, like, people who blame me because they walked into me.
Sarah
Oh, yeah.
Emily
Yeah. That sucks. I have had to. I have had to defend myself verbally a few times.
Sarah
But compare that to how you get treated by cast members.
Emily
Cast members go out of their way. Like, when you and I are together and I'm in my chair, I get way more attention.
Sarah
Nobody talks to me. I'm like, what are you talking to? Disney merchandise. Ears and pins and a T shirt and like, I am covered in Disney. You are in a wheelchair.
Emily
Yeah. So I get like. I love your. Like, I have a. Whatever you're wearing. Whatever I'm wearing. The skull of my thing. The color of my bag. Like, compliment. Oh, I love. And like, magical princess in a. In a magical carriage.
Sarah
Yes. You are invited to go into a space first. Yeah. Princess in a carriage. Yeah. Goes first.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
If you too, are a wheelchair user and would like to be treated as a magical princess in a carriage, who goes first? Go to see the live Belle show. That's B E L L E. The princess at Magic Kingdom. It's a show for kids. It's.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
Delightful. Yeah. And if you're an adult, you just sit quietly and enjoy children enjoying themselves and enjoy the enormously embarrassed fathers who are invited to participate in a very minimal way. And then you watch every Child get their picture taken with Belle, who is the most patient and kind human being on the face of the earth.
Emily
Yeah. I mean, she may not be, but.
Sarah
She acts like Belle is.
Emily
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they can't control other guests. And so that does make the experience more difficult because there are so many people there. I mean, when you're watching that fireworks show, it's you and 40,000 of your closest friends. Like, that's the level of crowd. I'm talking tens of thousands.
Sarah
Tens of thousands. Even on a not crowded day, Even.
Emily
On a not grounded day.
Sarah
It's.
Emily
It's a lot of people. And because it is so many people, I mean, it's the same percentage at a population level, it's the same percentage of. And nice people. But because they're all, like, smushed together right there, the odds of you encountering one of the mean people or.
Sarah
Yeah.
Emily
Rude people, especially people who are tired and distracted and feeling broke because they spent all this money.
Sarah
People literally get shirts made talking about how, like, the most expensive place on Earth or whatever it is. Talking about how much money they. They get a T shirt made about how expensive this vacation that they're currently on was.
Emily
Yeah. Like, okay, yeah, dude, it was cheaper than Paris.
Sarah
Cheaper than Paris, cheaper than London, cheaper than Tokyo.
Emily
Like, for sure, anyway.
Sarah
Cheaper than la. It's.
Emily
It's expensive. There's no. There's no doubt about that.
Sarah
It is absolutely. It is absolutely expensive. And the reason people pay that much money, they're not even aware, in the way that we're talking explicitly about the things that they do to hide the infrastructure and to immerse you in a story that is both familiar and exciting, joyful and comfortable.
Emily
Yeah. I will never forget one of the first times I ever went to Disney as an adult. Because you were like, I love Disney and I'm gonna be an annual pass holder. And I went. Cause I was like, okay, sure, maybe. And I was standing. Oh, my God.
Sarah
This is when we went to Hollywood Studios. It was before there was Star Wars Land. And you didn't, like, you didn't quite get it. This was like, 2018. You didn't quite get it. And I was like, we're gonna stand here on this sidewalk and wait because there's gonna be a parade, and you're gonna want to see this parade. And you were like, we're just gonna stand here and wait for a parade? And I was like, yes, we are. And they start playing the Imperial March.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
And around the corner comes a phalanx of stormtroopers headed by Captain Phasma.
Emily
Phasma, like right.
Sarah
In order from Captain Phasma are being piped to every speaker.
Emily
Yeah. In her droll.
Sarah
And the marching. And they're carrying weapons and occasionally one will turn and look at you.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
And I have a photo of you.
Emily
Yes.
Sarah
Just like sticking your head and your.
Emily
Face is like, like you. That.
Sarah
That is when you understood.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
Why I became a pass holder.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
Because they can do.
Emily
Also on that trip that there. Just a couple of years before that, I think there had been a really dire, tragic incident where a toddler.
Sarah
Oh God, yeah.
Emily
Was killed by an alligator.
Sarah
Yeah.
Emily
In a Disney. On a Disney resort.
Sarah
It was a Grand Floridian.
Emily
It was a Grand Floridian.
Sarah
Oh, God.
Emily
Like so tragic. Just appalling. And we were staying at another resort. I think it was Port Orleans.
Sarah
Yeah.
Emily
Where there's. I mean there's water everywhere and there's like little rivers and canals and lakes and stuff. And I was walking along the thing and there's this beautifully landscaped grass strip and then like a little sign with like a. Just a very low, like two foot high chain. You know, don't, don't approach. Don't stay here.
Sarah
Alligators and snakes.
Emily
I looked around and I was like, I totally see how you could feel so safe here. Nothing could ever go wrong. And you just walk up to the water and like, look at the ducks and be like right there.
Sarah
And it feels so.
Emily
And I was like, I totally see how you could feel so safe that you'd never imagine something like that could possibly happen. Whereas if you're in actual wilderness.
Sarah
Oh yeah. You're. You're on alert.
Emily
You know, you're going to be safe. You're going to alert and like they take away your sense of alert. And I was like, I could see how you wouldn't be on alert. And this was a very long time ago and obviously there's. That has not happened again since then.
Sarah
And I think they have upped their protocol. They have increased the frequency of the signs and.
Emily
Yeah, but those little chains are painted go away green. Yeah. Because they don't want you to feel alarmed that something dangerous could be here.
Sarah
But they're not in charge of like the way alligators move through water systems.
Emily
Right. But if there is a report of somebody sees an alligator on Disney property, they remove the alligator to a wilderness area, to a. A wildlife sanctuary habitat situation.
Sarah
Yeah.
Emily
Like they, they're responsible about how they treat animals and they're also like bird sanctuary stuff on Disney property.
Sarah
Yeah.
Emily
And they're, you know, they're active about the wildlife. But I. It is so ventral. And we just spent all this time talking about how safe it feels and how ventral and playful it is. And then, like, act like it does. It's so good that actual real threats don't feel real. And I could totally see how it could lead to this tragic outcome.
Sarah
Yeah, the same thing. I mean, the same thing happens to the wildlife who live at Disney. The Disney ducks are, like, a phenomenon. There's all these, like, ducks, and people will stop in a crowd to watch a duck. A train of ducks, like. And follow. Like a mama followed by all her baby ducks crossing a pathway. And people will just stop. Stop and watch. And then occasionally you get a child who goes up and tries to kick a duck. Because.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
Again, it's. It's a metaphor for how you can't.
Emily
Control the other people.
Sarah
Can't control the people. And sometimes children are impulsive.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
So on the one hand, Captain Phasma. And on the other hand.
Emily
Oh, like, oh, my God. This.
Sarah
We're in Florida.
Emily
It made me feel. That's what made me aware that the sense of safety had been artificially constructed.
Sarah
Yes.
Emily
Consciously. Oh, yeah. Artificially constructed. And that's kind of what made me appreciate. Damn, they're really good at this.
Sarah
Yeah.
Emily
Yeah. It was that moment on a bridge looking at a sign that said, caution, do not approach. Yeah. Snakes. Alligators.
Sarah
Yeah.
Emily
I don't want to end on that note, but that is an impactful moment that I had that I thought was important to include.
Sarah
I think the ending should be. People get to spend their downtime and their vacation time the way they choose entirely. And in our opinion, based on this whole, like, stronger than the Fire thing, spending as much time as possible accessing ventral stimulation. Play stimulation in particular can be really powerful.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
And so if there are people who can afford a Disney vacation, like, let them live, let them do it.
Emily
Yeah. Because. Yeah.
Sarah
So, like, don't judge people for, like, buying into corporate. Whatever.
Emily
Corporate.
Sarah
Whatever. Pays for an environment that is. So the reason Rich and I got started with the whole Disney thing is because we'd been married for four years, and every year I tried to, like, make a vacation moment happen for us. And three years in a row, one or the other of us had been pretty unhappy with the vacation choice I made because the way we prefer to spend our vacations is basically opposite.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
I'm a very, like, chill. I just want to, like, pause. And Rich loves to run around.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
And so the year I left my job. I was like, we're gonna go. We're gonna go big. We're gonna. We have this one moment where I'm leaving my job. We're gonna celebrate this transition in our lives. And Rich still had brochures about Epcot from his childhood trip. And I was like, he's still got this attachment. Let's go. Let's go stay at, like, one of the deluxe resorts, the. The contemporary, which is this beautiful modernist architecture, sort of brutalist. It's amazing. And the monorail runs right through it. And, like, we'll go to these parks and, like, we'll have this. And for the first time, we were able to have a vacation where both of us got to do things that we really enjoyed.
Emily
Yes. Yes.
Sarah
You can have any kind of vacation. You can have more than one kind of vacation at once.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
And everyone who's there, it's not like going to New York City where a whole lot of the people who are there live there and work there, and then there's a bunch of tourists. Everyone there is a tourist. Yeah, everyone's on vacation except for the people who literally work there.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
So that's why it started, is that we were like, oh, we can, like, go on a vacation that isn't much more expensive than the other vacations we were taking. And it turns out there's, like, all these ways to do it that are cheaper than we were doing it, because I didn't. I didn't know you stayed at fancy.
Emily
Fancy hotels the first time.
Sarah
Yeah. The next time, Rich went five times the cheapest.
Emily
Right? Yeah, exactly. Yeah.
Sarah
It was a hundred dollars a night instead of, like, $600 a night.
Emily
Yeah. Yeah.
Sarah
So, yeah. So if people choose to spend their vacation giving money to a giant ass corporation, which in some ways has not capitulated, but in other ways. Absolutely has absolutely capitulated. Like, let them live. People need what they need.
Emily
Yeah. I will also say that I. I paid for an annual passholder membership for one year, thinking that I live on Cape Cod. I live in a vacation area where people come to go on vacation.
Sarah
Yeah. I just talked to somebody who was like, oh, I went to Cape Cod. I was like, oh, where'd you go? Sandwich. And I was like, you went to Sandwich?
Emily
It's a tourist destination because it's so quaint.
Sarah
It's so well controlled. It's so freaking charming.
Emily
It's like a little mini escape world where you think the world is just charming and queer. Anyway, I thought, I'm gonna go to Disney several times this year. And I'm gonna figure out what it is about this Disney experience that seems so effective as a vacation so that then I can come home and make Cape Cod. And next year I can use the resources on Cape Cod to accomplish the same things. And I actively tried that. And I, like, tried to find like, I had. I knew what it was about Disney, what the events were, what the activities were that felt so cool. And I found equivalent kinds of experiences on Cape Cod and I couldn't do any of them because I needed to be in a wheelchair. And anything that was outside was on grass, through gravel with like, terrain issues that I couldn't access. Or, you know, the parking was so far away that like, by the time I got and it was all outdoors and there was no place to charge my chair up again. Or like, it was a fun, cool museum that I'd love to go to, but it's not wheelchair accessible. Or like, only half of it is wheelchair accessible and the other half is upstairs. And because everything on Cape Cod is 200 years old, it's all grandfathered in and has not been required to conform to ADA standards. So I tried, I tried to be able to staycation myself and it didn't work. And I bought another annual pass because I was like, it just works. Yeah, accessibility, man, it's a problem. That's not how I want to end either. Yeah, but like, going back to people, let's not judge anybody for how they access joy. And also, let's be really mindful of the ways that the things that do work, how they work, why they work, and you know, a brief mention of.
Sarah
Disneyland since you mentioned that. I have been to Disneyland a couple of times. It has the same high quality accessibility involved. So things are paved very beautifully almost everywhere.
Emily
Mm.
Sarah
The live entertainment at Disneyland is. I mean, I really love the live entertainment at Disney World, but it feels like amateur hour community theater compared to what you get in fucking Anaheim, which.
Emily
Is right next door to Hollywood Community Theater. I'm gonna object to that. There's no way.
Sarah
No, you're right.
Emily
Nothing.
Sarah
Like professionals.
Emily
They're fully professional.
Sarah
But like, like one day you're gonna go to Disneyland and you're gonna see the five and Dime Band and you're gonna like, just. It's. They're so good.
Emily
Yeah, they're so good.
Sarah
And it just happens outside. They drive up in a, in a, in an oldie, oldie timey looking vehicle. They park, they get out with their instruments, they sing and play at a microphone that is waiting for Them and then they get back in their old timey car and they sing and play the whole ride back to wherever it is backstage they go. They're so good. Yeah, they're so good.
Emily
Absolutely. The live performances that I have also seen and heard that in videos and stuff. The live performances, there's these dinky little.
Sarah
So right outside of. So at Disney World, in Magic Kingdom, at Cinderella Castle, and in Anaheim at Disneyland. I think it's Sleeping Beauty. It is Sleeping Beauty. Yeah. So in. But it's Sleeping Beauty Castle. And right outside of Sleeping Beauty Castle, there's this little covered outdoor theater where they put on like 20 minute shows and they are meta commentary on the fact that they are doing a short, condensed version of a Disney story. Rapunzel, for example. Rapunzel is the one I saw. And there's a live piano player. Like, what an amazing gig that is. And there's basically these like, college students or very young people who are clearly professional musicians and actors playing more than one character. And they are playing to the kids and they are also simultaneously playing to the parents and the adults. And it's just like, like, I couldn't. It was so good.
Emily
It was so good.
Sarah
This little half hour pantomime essentially of the Rapunzel store.
Emily
It was.
Sarah
I just, like, I just could, like, I couldn't. I saw it twice. The Lion King live show at Disneyland. It is in the worst imaginable place because it's right next to where the train goes by.
Emily
They're not doing it anymore, right?
Sarah
Oh, my God. No, really?
Emily
I think they're not doing that. I think that show ended. Yeah.
Sarah
Ended January 7, 2024.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
Oh, my God. I saw it just a couple of months before it closed, y'all. It was, it was like, it was disrespectful, the location of this show because of, like the sound of the train and everything.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
It was so good. I, I, I was only there for three days. I saw that show at least three times.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
Cause I, like, I just couldn't take, I couldn't take it.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
It was so good.
Emily
This is in no way an ad for Disney or Disneyland or Disney World. This is just us expl. We're stronger than the fire. And one of the ways we stay that way is by accessing a ventral state and a sympathetic ventral blended playful state.
Sarah
And where you feel safe enough and have access to connection. And so play is the basic mammalian emotion, motivational system of friendship.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
So when you go to a space that facilitates a playful state, and that's gonna be a different place for everybody. Look, when we were teenagers, we worked at Chuck E. Cheese.
Emily
Yep.
Sarah
For some people, a noisy enclosed arcade space like that feels super fucking playful.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
For other people, it super doesn't. People vary.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
And going to a constructed environment that facilitates a play state is not cheating.
Emily
Yeah. Disney made it their business to profit from people's desire for that feeling. Need. Need for that feeling.
Sarah
Yeah. So they're very good at it. They happen to be extraordinarily good at it because they have the budget. I think the parks are the most profitable part of their whole business.
Emily
It's really expensive to make an environment ventral.
Sarah
Very. Yeah. Other theme parks, like, they don't even try. Like, we haven't talked about Universal, which is down the road because.
Emily
Yeah, they don't try.
Sarah
They. They. They're kind of not trying. If you look across the skyline at a Universal park, you can see the other lands. You know, you're not immersed in anything. With the exception being the Harry Potter lands, which we're not going to talk about because Must not be named.
Emily
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Sarah
Joe Ro doesn't get our money. Yeah.
Emily
Exactly. Yeah. So it's not necessarily that, oh, Disney is the answer to our stress. And it's just a matter of, like, these are the ways. This is how much effort it takes to create an environment that is conducive to this state.
Sarah
It might be worth saying out loud that because we struggle with physical accessibility, we are. We experience chronic illness and long term, pretty intense depression. Like, it takes the biggest budget in the entertainment industry to construct an environment that will get us to that place.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
For other people, a community theater production of a familiar musical can be plenty if they're not fighting the uphill battle that we have.
Emily
Your local pirate festival might be a great place for you to go.
Sarah
100% Renfrey.
Emily
I 100% wanted to go to that pirate festival. Man, that sounded so fun. I couldn't go.
Sarah
Yeah. And like, that's. That makes it worse. That adds sadness to your nervous system.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
So knowing that there is a place you can get to if you are able to navigate getting there and being safe outside of the Disney bubble, which not everybody can. Yeah. So this was the show where we talked about a thing we do that's ventral because. Or specifically a play state. Because a play state is very important. And yeah.
Emily
It's very difficult to access in this world. In this. The state of the times. Accessing that state is difficult. And it's important. It's so important that it's worth thousands of dollars to us.
Sarah
Yeah. And I spent many years writing a book where basically what I'm doing is encouraging people to bring a play state to their sexual connections. Instead of taking it so seriously and being so worried about whether they're doing it right or wrong. And instead just, like, experiencing pleasure.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
And not feeling like you have to meet somebody else's standard or, you know, perform to someone's expectations. You can just relax and enjoy it and bring a play state to it. And it's a hard sell. I'll be honest, telling people that, like, no. Center pleasure. People struggle to center pleasure. They struggle to center play and friendship in their sexual connections. So, like, I just wanted to, like, mention that while we're talking about accessing a play state, like, that's another moderately accessible opportunity for people to experience play if they're willing to, P.S. read, come together. If you're like, what are you talking about?
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
100,000 words of affective neuroscience. But how to do that?
Emily
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Sarah
So play. Super important.
Emily
Yeah. So you gotta find what works for you. But if you want the formula, Disney has it.
Sarah
And also, why bog down your nervous system with judgment about other people's methods of accessing that state?
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
You need that state, too.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
And it doesn't make anybody happier for you to have a negative opinion about how somebody else does that. And harm reduction. Do we think Disney is a hashtag problematic? Yeah.
Emily
Yep.
Sarah
Yeah.
Emily
But harm reduction.
Sarah
But harm reduction. As Kate Bornstein says, you're allowed to do everything it takes to make your life worth living. Just don't be mean.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
Some people cannot even, like, follow that rule at Disney. They can't do don't be mean at Disney.
Emily
But not many people.
Sarah
Yeah. And not the cast members, which is, like, one of the most important things. Like, our aunt is very aware of disability and accessibility issues, and one of the things she commented on was how many visibly disabled people were cast members of Disney.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
Like, they make a. They. They try.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
And, like, do I know what Disney World and Disneyland are doing with their policies now that DEI is not a federal obligation? I don't know. I don't know if they're choosing to hire fewer visibly disabled people.
Emily
I think that one of the reasons they do that is because there are so many disabled people who come to Disney for exactly the reason that I like to. Because it is the most accessible place on Earth. And I think having other visibly disabled people there is part of what makes you feel welcome.
Sarah
Yeah.
Emily
It is like, I am Often the only person in a wheelchair at a conference or at a thing where I'm talking or at a concert or performance, I'm the only person in a wheelchair in the audience. I've never gone to a thing and been like, oh, here's the community of wheelchair users. But when you go to a show at Disney World, they park you in a row with all the other people in a wheelchair, and they're like, there's a whole big line of people in scooters and wheelchairs and at all levels of physical disability. And it's very just like, yeah, we have a process. We have a place for you to sit. We have.
Sarah
It's just.
Emily
There's signage everywhere of, like, princess in a carriage. Yeah. It's. Yeah.
Sarah
I wonder what they're gonna call you at the Hoopty Doo review.
Emily
Yeah. I'm sure it'll be thematically appropriate.
Sarah
Cowgirl on a Bronco.
Emily
Yeah. I don't know. We are going to the Hoop Dee Doo review. It's one of the things that I've been wanting to do, and I have never done it.
Sarah
The show closed for the pandemic for obvious reasons. And to my delight, when they brought it back, they had removed the most obviously racist stuff.
Emily
Yeah. That's nice.
Sarah
Like. Yeah. They're trying.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
And I, as a white lady who tries.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
I can appreciate the try. Obvious. Clearly intentional. They didn't have to change it. It's been the same live show since it opened in the 60s.
Emily
Yeah. Yeah.
Sarah
76.
Emily
So you can imagine.
Sarah
Yeah. Well, it's not. But they changed it because they had an opportunity.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
And were people mad? Some people. I guess for some people, Hoopty Doo Review is their favorite thing.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
And I cannot wait.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
We are. Let us also say for the record, that we are calling this trip, that is, for our 48th birthday, our Thelma and Louise trip.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
Because we are going to dine indoors in a.
Emily
At a dinner show with singing and a lot of other singing.
Sarah
There will be singers singing in the dining room, like, on the floor.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
Right there.
Emily
There will be. On our faces. There will be plumes.
Sarah
There will be aerosols floating in the air. Yeah. And because it's Florida. I don't know. And there might be measles because there's children.
Emily
Right.
Sarah
But it's Thelma and Louise trip. We're gonna go dine indoors because we.
Emily
Both know that we'll have the following month without any obligations that we can't fulfill while we have Covid again. But seeing as we both recently had it. I think it's unlikely that we'll get it again.
Sarah
Yeah.
Emily
We got fresh antibodies, but the reason we're going. When we're going is because that's when your. Your book terrorist tour is going to lighten up.
Sarah
It. Yeah, it has already. Like, I am in. I'm in recovery mode.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
My body is, like, collapsed.
Emily
Yeah. Yeah.
Sarah
Until, like, migraines every other day, all kinds of. But again, let's not close on that.
Emily
We're being stronger than the fire. We're finding. We're finding the ventral. And even if we have to go to Florida for the ventral, we gotta do what you gotta do.
Sarah
I'm currently reading a book called Wintering, which is a book by a late diagnosed autistic woman talking about deliberately welcoming the phases of shutdown and restoration that are required by human life. The book is pretty good. It comes and goes in terms of its, like. How good the writing. Like, no book is perfect. Every book is a product of its time, et cetera, et cetera. This is written entirely from a Northern hemisphere perspective. So if you're an Australian reader, you're gonna be like. This is the opposite in terms of the actual calendar, but in terms of, like. Everybody has shit that happens in their lives that makes them retreat and require way more rest and restoration than in other periods.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
So that's. That's like a different thing. And we can talk about that next week. In fact, I have some Q A to do around, like, rest and restoration.
Emily
Okay.
Sarah
But this is when it's. You're not in a. When you're in a spring or a summer moment in your life, you have the energy for accessing play and your body craves it. Because, like me, you can feel your body craving play.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
Which not everybody can.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
And that's fine. So that's what this was for.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
One, accessing a play state in whatever way works for you. Two, not wasting wear and tear on your nervous system having a negative opinion about how anybody else in the world accesses play. They're not trying to do it with you. So why. Why can we close on the story of me leading mom on a trip to Disney?
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
So we were at Magic Kingdom with our mom sometime before the pandemic. She'd been going through a rough time, and I was like, have I got news for you. Disney World is the place to go. So we drag her to fricking Disney World. Yeah.
Emily
She wasn't, like, slightly against her will Disney.
Sarah
Yes. Slight. I was like, I'm gonna pay for things like, let's go on a vacation. So we're at Magic Kingdom in front of Cinderella Castle, and there's these, like, parents walking by with children who are in enormous distress at the Magic Kingdom.
Emily
Right.
Sarah
And I jokingly said, why would anyone waste a Disney World trip on their children who are too young to even remember it? I said, and mom goes, well, one winter when I was having a really difficult time, your grandparents bought plane tickets for me to bring you all to Disney World when you were babes in arms. She said. And I was like, oh. So this is, like, carved into my nervous system from infancy to experience this environment as a place where my body can feel at peace. Probably because Mom's body felt more at peace even in a difficult phase of her life. Having infant twins.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
Autistic infant twins. So it might be that our experience of Disney World is shaped by the fact that as tiny, tiny babies, we cannot remember this trip, but we were there. And I think it probably impacted our nervous systems.
Emily
Maybe. But a lot of people went to Disney as children. And do you think that Disney is aware? Of course Disney is aware.
Sarah
Yeah.
Emily
That. No, I absolutely try to access that in adulthood. Cause they were like, this happened to me as a kid, and I want that back.
Sarah
Why do cigarette companies target children? Children just. Cause, like, you get them early and they keep coming back.
Emily
Yeah. 100%.
Sarah
Like, that's how you get. Yeah. So when you take your children to Disney World, your children will want to take their children to Disney World.
Emily
Yeah, yeah. So I think the title of this episode is the Art and Science of Disney Adulting.
Sarah
Yep.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
And I really want to, like, create space for being nonjudgmental of people who require the. I mean, it's a heavy lift for us to get to a play state.
Emily
And I think that's more true of more of the population now than ever.
Sarah
Before than it has been ever. Maybe at least in 20, 30 of Disneyland.
Emily
40 years.
Sarah
Yeah, yeah, yeah. From the happiest place on Earth to the most magical place on Earth. They know what they're doing.
Emily
Yep.
Sarah
And you'll be able to feel it in your body when you go to a place that creates that and whatever that place is for you.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
When Rich couldn't get to Disney World because it was closed for the pandemic, Target, he would just, like, put on a couple of masks and walk around in Target and be entertained, because that was a place for him where they did a good enough. A good enough job for his brain to enter that, like, curious exploration. Playful state.
Emily
Yeah. Teens in the mall.
Sarah
Teens in the mall.
Emily
Same fundamental process.
Sarah
Constructed environment, very controlled lighting, controlled sound, controlled music, controlled scents.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
Fragrances.
Emily
Artificially constructed sense of safety.
Sarah
Yeah. The art and science, it's not necessarily Disney adulting, but it's Play State adulting. And for us. Boy howdy.
Emily
And. And Disney has mastered it.
Sarah
Mastered it. And as a science.
Emily
Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah.
Sarah
Through artistry.
Emily
Yes, exactly. Artistry is kind of what it takes.
Sarah
Absolutely. And the more artistry they bring to it, the more effective it is.
Emily
And they bring a lot of artistry. God damn it. More artistry than the mall or Target.
Sarah
So one of the things that I enjoy. I know we gotta stop. One of the things that I enjoy that I had to drag Rich to. They have an art of animation, like, event where one of the illustrators at Disney, somebody who works for, like, Disney Animation.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
Leads, like, a 15 minute drawing class.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
They sit in the front with a big projector that shows what they're drawing. And they're teaching us how to draw Nemo.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
They're teaching us how to draw a character.
Emily
By the way, Rich went to art school, so it's not.
Sarah
Yeah. Richard, like, went to art school. He's a cartoonist. He, like. And for him, like, showing up to a thing like that is not, like, fun necessarily. But I did it at Disney World, and I had so much fun that when we went to Disneyland, I was like, come with me to this thing. I think you might like it. And I think he did actual. Because they do such a good job. Because that person up there has their dream job.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
Of being an illustrator or animator for Disney, and they get to teach people really simple tricks for being able to draw a Disney character like Nemo. Yeah. So you get to participate in the creation of the art. So it's not just that they bring artistry to it. There are a handful of opportunities where they invite you to participate.
Emily
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Sarah
Hooptidoo is another one of those. They bring people from the audience, usually very embarrassed dads.
Emily
Yeah. Because they're the most funny.
Sarah
And teenage theater kids.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
Who, like, want to be on the stage so bad.
Emily
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm looking forward to it.
Sarah
Yeah. They invite you to be part of the artistry as well. As. Well as simply. So there's entertainment and then there's fun. Entertainment is letting somebody do it for you. Fun is doing it, being part of it. Yeah. And so that's. Yeah. Okay, I'll stop now.
Emily
Yeah, yeah. I think we've made the point. Yeah.
Sarah
Okay. Don't judge us. We have science to explain why we have to give our money to the man. Yeah, I can justify it. God damn it.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
I can justify getting on a plane and flogging to a vacation destination even though it's terrible for the environment. Yeah.
Emily
Backed up by the fact that I tried to recreate all of this.
Sarah
You totally tried.
Emily
And in my environment, which is I am surrounded by vacation things.
Sarah
Yeah.
Emily
People come to this place for vacation. Able bodied people come to this place for vacation.
Sarah
Exactly. Yeah. Everywhere is more difficult with physical limitations and disabilities and as wheelchair users. But if there's any place that makes it less worse.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
Disney makes it less worse.
Emily
Yeah.
Sarah
Okay, we're gonna stop.
Emily
Yeah, yeah, yeah. We definitely made the point. Okay, so that's it for this week. Next week we might do something. A little rest.
Sarah
Rest. We're gonna talk about. No, it's not gonna be. It's gonna be for people who are in a wintering state.
Emily
Okay.
Sarah
Like, are in a moment of needing rest, which is currently where I am.
Emily
Okay. Being in an actual real place in a wheelchair.
Sarah
All right, talk to you.
Emily
Next. Sucks big floppy donkey dick. Cue the ukulele. Being in an actual real place in a wheelchair. Sucks big floppy donkey dick.
Feminist Survival Project: The Art and Science of Disney Adulting
Episode Release Date: April 3, 2025
Hosts: Emily Nagoski and Sarah Nagoski
Emily and Sarah begin the episode by shifting the conversation from heavy news topics to a more uplifting and escapist theme: Disney Adulting. They explore how engaging with Disney can serve as a meaningful escape for adults seeking joy and relaxation amidst the stresses of daily life.
Emily [00:30]: "Escapism, I wanna talk about the art and science of Disney adulting."
A significant portion of the discussion centers on Disney World's exceptional accessibility. Emily, a wheelchair user, contrasts their experiences with other cities, highlighting Disney's commitment to making the parks accessible and continuously upgrading their infrastructure.
Emily [02:22]: "One of the reasons I particularly enjoy going to Disney World now is because of the mobility, access. It's the most accessible place on earth."
They recount personal challenges faced in other cities versus the relative ease found at Disney parks, emphasizing the importance of accessible environments for overall well-being.
The hosts delve into the concept of re-parenting, especially relevant to their Gen X audience. They discuss how Disney World provides a space for adults to reconnect with childhood joys and escape the responsibilities that often weigh heavily on them.
Sarah [05:43]: "Re-parenting. [...] Disney World is designed to be as ventral a space as it can possibly be, which people find difficult."
This section underscores the therapeutic benefits of immersing oneself in environments that foster a sense of safety and playfulness.
Emily and Sarah explore the meticulous design elements that make Disney parks immersive. They reference polyvagal theory, explaining how Disney creates ventral (safe and engaging) environments through clean landscaping, controlled music, and purposeful aesthetic choices.
Emily [10:00]: "We're talking about the ways that Disney [...] has nailing you getting to have access to this experience."
They highlight how the environment minimizes stressors by hiding infrastructure elements and maintaining a polished, magical atmosphere.
The discussion moves to how Disney leverages beloved characters and stories to enhance visitor immersion. By maintaining and evolving these IPs, Disney ensures that both nostalgia and contemporary relevance contribute to the magical experience.
Sarah [28:31]: "The familiar IPs, the intellectual property of your childhood. Disney owns. They are never going to stop having Snow White. They're never going to stop having Cinderella."
This attachment to familiar stories allows adults to relive cherished memories while creating new ones.
A critical examination is made of the emotional labor undertaken by Disney employees, referred to as cast members. Emily and Sarah commend the dedication required to maintain the park's magic, noting that cast members consistently perform emotional labor to ensure a positive visitor experience.
Sarah [27:08]: "Disney does exploit these wonderful employees who [...] do emotional labor."
They appreciate the empathetic and supportive interactions from cast members, contrasting them with experiences in other service environments.
The hosts share personal anecdotes to illustrate the benefits and challenges of Disney Adulting. Emily recounts moments where Disney's support made significant differences during difficult times, such as when her wheelchair broke during a visit.
Emily [22:44]: "Rich went and asked, [...] we're gonna make this happen for you."
These stories highlight Disney's commitment to guest well-being, reinforcing the park's role as a sanctuary for many.
Despite the enchanting environment, Emily and Sarah acknowledge that Disney World isn't immune to real-world issues. They discuss instances where the artificial sense of safety can lead to unexpected problems, such as accidents in the parks, emphasizing the importance of recognizing and addressing these challenges.
Emily [54:29]: "That is when you understood why I became a pass holder."
This balance between magic and reality serves as a reminder that while Disney provides an escapist haven, vigilance and awareness remain essential.
In their concluding remarks, Emily and Sarah advocate for a non-judgmental approach to how individuals seek joy and relaxation. They emphasize the importance of recognizing diverse methods of accessing play states and finding what works best for each person.
Sarah [80:58]: "So don't judge us. We have science to explain why we have to give our money to the man."
They encourage listeners to understand and respect different avenues for achieving mental and emotional well-being, whether through Disney or other means.
The episode wraps up with a reaffirmation of the value of play and connection as fundamental human needs. Emily and Sarah reiterate that environments like Disney World play a crucial role in facilitating these states, especially for those facing physical and emotional challenges.
Emily [85:40]: "How to do that? Yeah, yeah, yeah."
They conclude by celebrating the art and science behind Disney's ability to create immersive, joyful experiences, positioning Disney Adulting as a valid and beneficial practice for many.
Notable Quotes:
This episode of Feminist Survival Project offers a comprehensive exploration of Disney Adulting, blending personal narratives with insightful analysis on accessibility, emotional labor, and the psychological benefits of immersive environments. Emily and Sarah thoughtfully navigate the complexities of finding joy and relaxation in a world that often demands more than it gives, presenting Disney World as a powerful tool for mental and emotional rejuvenation.