
Hosted by Feral Attraction · EN

On this week’s show we open with a discussion of the sexualization of animals, and the various forms such sexualization can take (zoophilia, bestiality, zoosadism). Guest host Klik Wolf joins us to discuss our main topic, toxic popularity — we talk about how the desire to become popular can turn some well-meaning furs into people they don’t want to be. We close with advice about becoming more dominant in bed.Viro: Welcome back to Feral Attraction! Joining me as a guest host this week is Klik Wolf. Klik, why don’t you take a moment to introduce yourself?Klik: Hello, I'm klik Wolf. I'm an aspiring indie game dev and adult performer and I've been in the furry fandom for over 8 years but have just recently started getting involved in the community.Introduction topicWhat forms can sexualization of animals take?ZoophiliaTaking a sexual interest in animalsFantasizing about animals or animal parts in a sexual wayMay include feral art / roleplayBestialityHaving sexual contact with an animalZoosadismTorturing an animal for the purpose of sexual gratificationWhat are the ethics of having a sexual interest in animals?Should we be tolerant of non-offending zoophiles?What are the ethics of thought crimes?What is the legality?Sexual contact with animals is illegal in many jurisdictions, including most of the United StatesHawaii, Kentucky, Nevada, New Mexico, Texas, Vermont, West Virginia and Wyoming are the only states that lack explicit anti-bestiality lawsToxic PopularityWhat is the purpose of fandom?The furry fandom was created to be a place where anyone could be accepted and supported, a fandom where people could forget about shallow ideas like popularity and enjoy the company of others without worrying about social pretenses. Unfortunately, many furs don't feel like this is the case.How does popularity in the fandom actually work?What tends to get social media attentionOften, things that are quite impersonalPositivityMemesRelatable sentimentsFursuit picsHumor/PunsSmutPornWhat tends to make people avoid youOften, things that are quite personalDramaNegativityContrarianism(unless you’re popular specifically for being a troll)NeedinessDesperationAwkwardnessInappropriatenessCliquesMany groups of friends in the fandom are essentially by invitation onlyIt can be frustrating to attempt to befriend someone who is part of a cliqueThe value of a clique lies in there being an “outgroup” of people who supposedly “aren’t worthy” of being inYou do not need to internalize the message that you “aren’t worthy” just because a particular clique seems closed off to youWhat are the downsides of popularity?HatersSome people will be envious of you and will take a dislike to you, or even work to sabotage youExtra scrutinyLots of eyes and ears on you means people notice your mistakes (microaggressions, moments of weakness/anger, etc.)Tone policingCan feel like you need to wear a mask, not be “human”PrejudicePeople who know you by reputation can form first impressions of you without you ever actually meeting themCan create a sense of paranoiaEmotional bandwidthFan interactions / fan service can become extremely draining and allow little time/energy for personal/intimate relationshipsHow do you want to show up in the fandom?Why do you want to be popular?Attention?Sexual partner selection?Influence?Legacy?Power?What would popularity actually bring you?Weigh pros/consHow much of your “true self” are you willing to lose?How can you show up in a likable but authentic way?How else can you create the emotions you’re after?Who do you really want to be well liked by?Feedback“I just found your podcasts the other day through Culturally F’d. You guys do a wonderful service for humanity and the anthro community. Life’s been fucking dark so I look forward to the new episodes and I’m speechless for how this fandom is matured. Without a doubt, thank you for everything you do, seriously. In just about 6 months I returned to being a furry after like 10 years, and everywhere I look I see so much to fucking love in this community. Especially resistance regaining ground against empire. Seems so unreal.” - DaisyQuestion(s)What is the first step to going from being a submissive to becoming a dominant in bed? After five years, my boyfriend wants to have me dominate and take control. I’m a little nervous and really unsure of how to start to ease into the role without becoming overwhelmed.Received via Contact Form (name withheld)FA 023 BDSM Roles Demystified: https://www.feralattraction.com/shownotes/fa023Learning to be more dominant in bed advice column:https://www.feralattraction.com/advice/learning-to-be-more-dominant-in-bedCloserContact infoContact Viro:Telegram: t.me/viroscicollieTwitter: twitter.com/viroscicollieContact Klik:Telegram: t.me/Klik2097Twitter: https://twitter.com/klik2097 (warning: 18+ NSFW)Feral Attraction Twitter:twitter.com/feralattractfmFeral Attraction Contact Page:feralattraction.com/contactCoaching Services now available!As our audience has grown, many of our listeners and advice column readers have asked to speak with Viro in a one-on-one setting so as to get help with resolving relationship issues or overcoming stumbling blocks that can trip us up on life's journey. Until now, it was not possible to offer such one-on-one attention, simply because of time constraints. Fortunately, Viro is now offering this kind of individualized attention as a service!For more information, visit: feralattraction.com/coachingOther businessPatreonJoel Kreissman is a published author of anthropomorphic science-fiction in his Para-Imperium universe. His first novel, The Pride of Parahumans, was published with Thurston Howl publications in 2017 and he has more free stories on his blog at https://paraimperium.wordpress.com/

Feral AttractionEpisode 107 - Friendship 9/14/18IntroOn this week’s show we open with a discussion of the history of happiness, and why happiness may be elusive. Soatok Dhole joins us to discuss our main topic, friendship — what is a good friendship, when is the right time to distance yourself from a friend, and how do you revive a fading friendship worth saving? We close with a question about how to handle developing feelings for a straight roommate.Introduction topicA history of happiness explains why capitalism makes us feel empty insideSean Illing - Voxhttps://www.vox.com/science-and-health/2018/9/4/17759590/happiness-fantasy-capitalism-culture-carl-cederstromTopicWhat is friendship?“Essential and fundamental to friendship is that it is a natural, spontaneous, freely given and entered into relationship promised as much on subliminal cues that prompt liking as on anything that the parties could specify as a reason for engaging in it” – philosopher AC GraylingFriend vs. friendly acquaintanceCommon to both:People who make you a better personPeople who you enjoy spending time withPeople who you have a history of shared experience withPeople who share your values, your hobbies, your interests, and/or your kinksUnique to friends:People you can trustPeople you can confide inPeople you can be yourself aroundLoyaltyProblems arise when you expect loyalty from someone you considered a friend, but who views you as a friendly acquaintanceWhat is a bad friendship?“Our friends aren’t toxic — they’re just human”Ephrat Livni - Quartzhttps://qz.com/1352437/our-friends-arent-toxic-theyre-just-human/Many people argue a “bad friend” is one who consistently brings you down or holds you back“The current cultural discourse suggests that friends are people who we use to improve ourselves, and get rid of when the going gets tough or if we’re not having enough fun. … It’s friendship as a capitalistic exchange, instead of relationships involving people who care about each other, hanging out, and helping each other through life’s ups and downs.”This philosophy leads many people to treat their friends as disposable, and to abandon them when they need support and are not contributing to the friendship — right when they need a friend the mostIt is important to remember the golden rule in friendship, and to treat others as we’d like to be treatedYou wouldn’t want to be abandoned during a time of hardship when you couldn’t be there for your friends as much as you’d like to beAbandoning a friend at the first sign of conflict or distress in the relationship will leave you with very few friendsIt is often worth it to attempt to reconcile or ignore certain conflicts for the sake of maintaining an otherwise valuable friendshipFriends who consistently do not support you, who do not share your values, and who have a history of being unreliable may be less worthy of continued or increased investment of time and other resourcesIn some circumstances, it can be worthwhile to invest in old friendships even when values and goals have drifted apart, for the sake of having someone who can “ground you” in your own historyIt is difficult for new friends to offer the same level of insight that old friends can provide to youIf you have many old friends, and a particular friendship is no longer offering benefit to either of you, it is okay to let a friendship turn back into a friendly acquaintanceshipKeep in mind: people change over time (and that’s ok!)What is a good friendship?In general, it is wise to invest in friends who:Share your valuesSupport you as you pursue your goalsPoint out your weaknesses and mistakes in a loving wayIt can be tempting to seek friends who tell you everything you do is awesome, but it’s wise to have a few close friends who can call you on your mistakesAssume good faith: When your close friends suggest you’ve done something wrong, it is generally because they care about your success, and not because they want to put you downHave a history of being trustworthy and reliableIt isn’t all about you“Real friendship is a kind of love, writes philosopher Bennet Helm. As such, it must ‘involve a concern for your friend for his sake and not for your own.’”It isn’t a great idea to be friends only with people who tell you everything you do is good“A true friend didn’t just flatter and please. Quite the contrary, their value lie in the fact that they sometimes corrected or fought with their pals, to whom they’d give their all.”Criticism that comes from a place of loyalty and respect, with the intent of making you a more authentic version of yourself, is very different from someone tearing you downWhen you’re around a good friend, you should feel liberated to act with authenticity.How do you revive a friendship?How to Revive a FriendshipAnna Goldfarb — The New York Timeshttps://www.nytimes.com/2018/07/26/smarter-living/how-to-revive-a-friendship.htmlStart by “identifying what variables, if any, have changed since your falling out.”“Maybe you’re in a more stable place in life and are confident you can be a better, more attentive friend this time around.”“Thinking about the reasons you grew apart and how things might be different now can help you take the steps needed to rebuild a closer and longer lasting friendship.”Make the first move!If neither of you reach out, you won’t talkBeing vulnerable and honest about missing your former friend can help you reconnect if they’re feeling the same wayBe prepared for rejectionGame out what you’d say and what you’d do to feel better if you are rejectedAssume good faithIt’s possible your friend would love to talk to you, but the thought just hasn’t occurred to them, because many other things are on their mindIt’s harmless to remind them you exist and would like to talkEstablish interest in re-establishing the friendship before jumping into emotionally difficult topicsGo in as if this were a new friendshipStart small with light topics and catching up on what is new with each of youGood topics for conversation are anecdotes and requests for advice that focus on what is shared between you right nowSimilar life experiencesPlaces you’ve both been toWhere you are in lifeLocationCareerLifestyle/Living SituationTry socializing at first in a group settingGame nightMovie nightDinner partyOuting to a park for a hike or picnicTry to present your best selfThis will remind your former friend what they liked about you to begin withIt isn’t always possible to get back to the same level of friendship you had beforeBe willing to accept a less intimate relationship, at least at firstFeedbackNone for this weekQuestion(s)I live with my best friend, who is a straight male. I am a gay male furry, and I am crushing hard on the the friend that I live with. How can I continue to be friends with him given the feelings I cannot share?Received via Telegram (name withheld)CloserContact infoContact Viro:t.me/viroscicollietwitter.com/viroscicollieContact Soatok:https://twitter.com/SoatokDholehttps://soatok.comFeral Attraction Twitter:twitter.com/feralattractfmFeral Attraction Contact Page:feralattraction.com/contactCoaching Services now available!As our audience has grown, many of our listeners and advice column readers have asked to speak with Viro in a one-on-one setting so as to get help with resolving relationship issues or overcoming stumbling blocks that can trip us up on life's journey. Until now, it was not possible to offer such one-on-one attention, simply because of time constraints. Fortunately, Viro is now offering this kind of individualized attention as a service!For more information, visit: feralattraction.com/coachingOther businessPatreonJoel Kreissman is a published author of anthropomorphic science-fiction in his Para-Imperium universe. His first novel, The Pride of Parahumans, was published with Thurston Howl publications in 2017 and he has more free stories on his blog at https://paraimperium.wordpress.com/

Introduction topicTHE MOST RELAXING VACATION YOU CAN TAKE IS GOING NOWHERE AT ALLEphrat Livni - Quartzyhttps://qz.com/quartzy/1342058/the-most-relaxing-vacation-you-can-take-is-going-nowhere-at-all/Importance of unstructured time“Dolce far niente” - the sweet joy of doing nothing“Remaining close to home—or just in it, hanging out—leaves you refreshed and provides perspective. And it may be the key to your next great idea.”Become comfortable with being alone with yourself; wherever you go, your self comes with!Take time to be present and enjoy wherever you areavoid having a completionist mindset of ticking boxes just to say you’ve been somewhereTopicWhen is it a good idea to step away from family?Toxic behaviorEmotional blackmail/coercionAbusive/threatening behaviorLack of acceptanceNeed to create space to establish own values/prioritiesWhy reconnect with family?Source of stability/constancy in your lifeReconnecting with unconditional love underlying family bondsGreater understanding of self (family of origin)If they loved you before, they can love you againSupport StructureWhen is the right time to reconnect with family?Financial independenceStable, independent living situationno risk, nothing to lose if your family chooses to reject you.After time to heal / develop “new normal”“Most parents prefer having a gay son to no son at all”- Dan SavageTimes of crisis (family member ill/dying)How to reconnect with familyNon-violent communicationProvide “first-aid” empathySeek to understand before seeking to be understoodExpress your feelings and needs without placing blame or judgement on your family membersLook for a “win-win”“My lifestyle is not the same as your lifestyle, but both are okay, and we can choose to live the life that we want”Look for ways to spend time together that will meet everyone’s needsDon’t rush it, go at your own paceReconnection isn’t going to happen overnightFeedbackNone for this weekQuestion(s)What are some of the best techniques you could offer to help get over a toxic relationship? Doesn’t matter if it’s romantic or friends.Self-empathySelf-careChoosing to control what you can (your actions/perceptions/interpretations) and release control of what you cannot (your abuser’s past actions, what your abuser does now)Forgive your abuser (even if you don’t let them know)Empathy and understanding can lessen painForgiveness does not absolve someone of being responsible for their actions or of being held accountableForgive yourself for allowing the abuse to happen as long as it didYou are only capable of doing your best at any given moment, given the information you haveIt is impossible to make a mistake; mistake is a judgement applied to an action after it has occurredFigure out what you were getting from the toxic relationshipTry to figure out how you can get these needs met in a healthier wayBe mindful not to enter into a relationship with someone very like your previous partnerWe are often attracted to what feels familiar, not what feels goodCloserContact infoContact Viro:t.me/viroscicollietwitter.com/viroscicollieContact Rhythm:twitter.com/Rhythm_Foxt.me/RhythmFoxFeral Attraction Twitter:twitter.com/feralattractfmFeral Attraction Contact Page:feralattraction.com/contactCoaching Services now available!As our audience has grown, many of our listeners and advice column readers have asked to speak with Viro in a one-on-one setting so as to get help with resolving relationship issues or overcoming stumbling blocks that can trip us up on life's journey. Until now, it was not possible to offer such one-on-one attention, simply because of time constraints. Fortunately, Viro is now offering this kind of individualized attention as a service!For more information, visit: feralattraction.com/coachingOther businessPatreonJoel Kreissman is a published author of anthropomorphic science-fiction in his Para-Imperium universe. His first novel, The Pride of Parahumans, was published with Thurston Howl publications in 2017 and he has more free stories on his blog at https://paraimperium.wordpress.com/

Introduction topicRebooting the showUpdate on what’s been happening during the hiatusExplaining the new formatTopicWhat Are Values?“a person's principles or standards of behavior; one's judgment of what is important in life” - Google DictionaryWe use our values to make judgements, particularly judgements of good and bad or right and wrongChase’s perspective on valuesPersonal constitution or bill of rightsValues (In Combination with Morals and Ethics) form a personal doctrine by which to liveAffects all decisions in LifeMuch like Laws, can be changed but it is a difficult processWhere Do Our Values Come From?ParentsPeersFriendsRelationship partnersSocietySociety at largeSubcultures we participate inTypes of ValuesFear-based valuesValues based on fear are those that cause you to take action in order to avoid somethingThink “have to”Common fear-based valuesSafety / SecurityAbsence of painAvoidance of conflict/confrontationPhysical appearancePower/ControlPrivacyReligousity (fear of hell)Recognition / RespectKnowledge (based in fear of the unknown)Consciousness-based valuesWhat do we mean by consciousness?Consciousness is your awareness of who you *really* are, as opposed to the “you” that you believe yourself to be, or the you that you were taught you were supposed to beConsciousness-based values are those that cause you to take action to bring something desirable into your worldThink “want to”Common consciousness-based values:Pleasure/sensuality (as opposed to absence of pain)Freedom (as opposed to security)“Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety.” - Ben FranklinAchievementVs recognition (internal to self)LeadershipVs. control/management(lead self before leading others)Adventure/noveltyAutonomySpirituality (vs. religiousity, internal/external)Chase Wolf: Notes on his experiences growing up in a religious household and finding spirituality outside of that setting.Personal growthIntimacy (vs privacy)CommunityA metavalue; valuing others who share your valuesImportant to know what your values are and what those of your community are to know whether it’s a good fitIf a conflict in values are present:Accept paying the “price of admission” to be part of the community and tolerate the differenceExamine your values, and decide whether yours should changeChoose not to be a part of the community, and find a community that is a better fit for youChase Wolf: Notes on changes in the Gamer Community values and the impacts thereof.Self-expressionFulfillmentTruthJusticeKnowledge (based in curiosity, as opposed to fear of the unknown)Chase Wolf: Notes on his curiosity in understanding the ABDL/Baby-Fur community allowing a shift in opinionHaving fear-based values is not necessarily a bad thing, but as a general rule, happier people tend to hold more consciousness-based values than fear-based valuesChase Wolf: Often, fear-based values are those instilled in us by friends, family, and society.Choosing Your ValuesThink of each new moment as a fresh opportunity to decide who you want to be; the greatest freedom is the freedom of choice“It is better to follow the voice inside and be at war with the whole world, than to follow the ways of the world and be at war with your deepest self” - Counselor and educator Michael PastoreWhat are your values?What situations or conflicts make you highly emotional, either positively or negatively?Think about what value was respected in the situations that made you feel positivelyThink about what value was not respected in the situations that made you feel negativelyEmpowering questions to ask yourself:What am I unwilling to tolerate?What am I unwilling to give up?What recharges my batteries?What really makes me feel excited?What experiences or activities have the most meaning for me?Why do I “need” the things I tell myself I need?When do I compromise my values? Why?What keeps me going when times get tough?Where is there a gap between who I am and who I really know myself to be?Why choose new values?When different values conflict with one anotherReconciling values with a relationship partner or a communityWhen acting according to a certain value just doesn’t feel rightWhen you realize a value is coming from outside, and isn’t something you really care aboutWhen a particular value is constantly transgressed, to the point that it is draining your energy and emotional bandwidthWhen failing to live up to a value is causing you great deals of shame, guilt, anger, anxiety, or fearHow Chase changed his values to serve him betterHow changes in Chase’s values allowed him to overcome issues in his lifeValues Assessment Toolhttps://www.dropbox.com/s/qg8hegtswsullwk/Values%20Assessment.doc?dl=0FeedbackNone for this weekQuestion(s)Subject: Mates now metamoursMy two mates recently broke up with each other leaving me in the middle. One mate is desperately clinging to me and the other is constantly offering advice on how to keep my other relationship healthy. How do I just let things happen without the other thinking they had a hand in it?Received via contact form (anonymous)CloserContact infoContact Viro:t.me/viroscicollietwitter.com/viroscicollieContact Chase:twitter.com/Chase_WolfBTGwolf4life.bandcamp.comFeral Attraction Twitter:twitter.com/feralattractfmFeral Attraction Facebook:facebook.com/feralattractfmFeral Attraction Contact Page:feralattraction.com/contactCoaching Services now available!As our audience has grown, many of our listeners and advice column readers have asked to speak with Viro or Metriko in a one-on-one setting so as to get help with resolving relationship issues or overcoming stumbling blocks that can trip us up on life's journey. Until now, it was not possible to offer such one-on-one attention, simply because of time constraints. Fortunately, Viro is now offering this kind of individualized attention as a service!For more information, visit feralattraction.com/coaching.Other businessPatreonJoel Kreissman is a published author of anthropomorphic science-fiction in his Para-Imperium universe. His first novel, The Pride of Parahumans, was published with Thurston Howl publications in 2017 and he has more free stories on his blog at https://paraimperium.wordpress.com/

Hello Everyone!We open this week with a discussion on FOSTA. This is an American bill that is soon to become law that is having a chilling effect on how we use the internet, and the impacts are being felt worldwide. We discuss what the bill is, why it's ten types of awful, and how this impacts the furry fandom. We at Feral Attraction would encourage those who feel so inclined to visit the Electronic Frontier Foundation to learn even more and find ways you can resist this awful legislation. Our main topic is on sexual roles. We go over the different axes that are present when it comes to sexual determination and how everything is fluid and in motion. We talk about how the persona you portray becomes your truth and the beacon by which you attract people in your life, how pretense is prologue and determines the lifestyle that you lead, and why it's not a bad idea to experiment with your sexual roles. We close out this episode with a question on poly and friendship. Our questioner is interested in a poly relationship with one of his friend's husband, but his friend doesn't want that. How can he keep his new romantic attachment and his friend? Spoiler alert: he probably can't. For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.Thanks for everything everyone and, as always, be well!

Hello everyone!We open this week with a discussion on to best mediate conflicts in relationships. While this is a topic that we've covered before we wanted to present an alternate take from one of the main contributors from PolyWeekly, LustyGuy, as he offers his views on how to fight fair in a relationship to ensure everyone has the maximum potential to "win".Our main topic is on transitions. During the course of last week's episode we discovered that this was a topic that we both wanted to delve into, so here we are. We talk about what the more common transitions that we will face in life are, and the ways we can best broach them, prepare for them, and thrive from them. We close out this week's show with a question about compatibility. Our questioner keeps dating guys that he discovers aren't compatible with him once they start dating. Is this a question of romantic connection, vulnerability, or of being true to yourself? For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode. Thanks and, as always, be well!

Hello Everyone!We open this week's show with a discussion on our appearance on the wonderful podcast, Life on the Swingset. You can hear us talk about ethical non-monogamy in the fandom on Episode 317 BY CLICKING HERE or by visiting their website, lifeontheswingset.com. We also talk about why loving someone else isn't always enough to make love happen. We go over why unrequited love can often feel so strong and certain yet it goes absolutely nowhere. Our main topic is on how to maintain independence in a relationship. We talk about why it's important to do so, what happens when you become codependent, and ways to practice independent living.We close out the show with a question of mismatched motivation drives in a relationship. Is this a relationship killer, or can this be overcome?For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode. Thanks and, as always, be well!

Hello everyone!We open this week's show with an exciting announcement about our upcoming guest appearance on the Life on the Swingset podcast! Thanks again to our lovely hosts for inviting us-- we had a blast and please feel free to stop by our show anytime!We also discuss the latest comic from OhJoySexToy that focuses on discovering polyamory and the mistakes that people often encounter.Our main topic this week is on Stale Relationships. We discuss what makes a relationship stale, how to reinvigorate a relationship that's gotten routine, and how to identify if it's even a relationship that is salvageable. We close out the show with some feedback on Episode 071 concerning our advice to the questioner on real life appearance vs online presence and a question from our Telegram chat (salut Tiyu) that asks whether or not a quarter-life furry crisis is something that people go through within our fandom.For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode. Thanks and, as always, be well!

Hello Everyone!We open this week's episode with an actual retrospective of the show. As it is our 100th episode we wanted to take some time to reflect on the show. We talk about why we started the show, how we've grown in doing the show, and how we've seen the fandom (and culture in general) change in the two years we've been doing the show. We then talk about the future of the show and our personal futures and what plans we have coming up.We then launch into the main topic for this week, difficult decisions. In an average day we make 70 active decisions, and oftentimes we find ourselves overburdened with the choices we make. Metriko talks about his decision making process and how he's worked to improve and streamline it to be manageable and more helpful than stressful.For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode. Thanks and, as always, be well!

Hello everyone!We open this week's show with a discussion our panel on TFF. We then launch into a conversation about a recent article from the New York Times about how porn might be causing harm in the approach teenagers have toward sexual encounters. We discuss whether or not porn should be expected to be an educator for sex and what we can do better on a societal level.Our main topic is on Active Listening and Maintaining Empathy. We've had many episodes on how to use nonviolent communication. This is only half of the equation, and that you must employ active listening skills in order to maintain empathy and find a way to bridge the divide between perspectives. We also talk about the terrifying concept that we as people can be fallible and oftentimes are the ones who are causing stress in a relationship, and how we can employ active listening to lower our barriers and identify ways to communicate and reciprocate everyone's wants and needs in a relationship.We close out the show with a question on anal-- a top is concerned with the amount of Santorum produced when he has sex with his fuck buddy. How can he talk to his friend with benefits about douching before dicking?For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.Thanks and, as always, be well!