Transcript
A (0:00)
This podcast is supported by MIDI Health. Are you in midlife feeling dismissed, unheard or just plain tired of the old health care system? You're not alone. For too long, women's serious midlife health issues have been trivialized, ignored and met with a just deal with it attitude. Many of us have been made to feel ashamed or forgotten. In fact, even today, 75% of women seeking care for menopause and perimenopause issues are left entirely untreated. But here's the powerful truth. It's time for a change. It's time for miti. MITI is not just a healthcare provider. It's a women's telehealth clinic founded and supported by world class leaders in women's health. What sets MIDI apart? We are the only women's telehealth brand covered by major insurance companies, making high quality, expert care accessible and affordable for all women everywhere. Our clinicians provide one on one face to face consultations where they truly listen to your unique needs. We offer a full range of holistic, data driven solutions from hormonal therapies and weight loss protocols to lifestyle coaching and preventive health guidance. This isn't a one size fits all care. This is care uniquely tailored for you. At miti, you will join our patients who feel seen, heard and prioritized. You will find that our mission is clear to help all women thrive in midlife, giving them access to the health care they deserve. Because we believe midlife isn't the middle at all. It's just the beginning of your second act. Ready to feel your best and write your second act script? Visit joinmitty.com today to book your personalized insurance covered virtual visit. That's joinmitte.com MIDI the Care Women Deserve.
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A PSA from instacart. It's Sunday, 5:00pm you had a nonstop weekend. You're running on empty and so is your fridge.
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You.
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You're in the trenches of the Sunday scaries. You don't have it in you to go to the store, but this is your reminder. You don't have to. You can get everything you need delivered through Instacart so that you can get what you really need. More time to do whatever you want. Instacart for one less sundae. Scary. We're here.
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Dorothy was haggard and hungry. She had faced death multiple times in the past few days. First from the Kalitas, where she escaped leaping across a cliff on the back of the lion. Then they nearly lost Scarecrow to a rushing river passing through a poppy field. Both Dorothy and the lion, the only party members with lungs, nearly slept until they starved to death. Dorothy was dragged from the field by the tin Woodman in the lion by a thousand talking field mice, which Dorothy learned was a thing. Maybe that had happened. Maybe it had been in the poppy induced haze that the Scarecrow talked to the queen of the field mice, though Dorothy feared that it wasn't. Still drugged and famished, her silver shoes found the road of yellow brick up ahead on the horizon in the distance loomed the Emerald City. Dorothy took two steps and collapsed on the road. With the commotion around her, at first she thought she was back in Kansas. It wasn't that she loved Kansas. It was that she didn't know how she could live in a land with poisonous fields and talking mice and a man made out of tin, but who evidently still had some human parts, because how could he cry? Were there still human tear ducts in her brain in there and he just didn't realize it? She opened her eyes and saw the green roof and the Tin man and the Scarecrow pacing around her. She sighed and sat up. The drudgery in the hard gray ground of Kansas was preferable to whatever land this was, and she knew that she had to get home. She learned that they had made it not to the Emerald City, but to the land of Oz proper. They were in a farmhouse not a day's walk away, the owner informed them, a kind woman who managed the crops and the servants, who were of course, clothed only in green. Are you sure he'll see you? The woman asked. And the tin woodman asked why he wouldn't. The woman shrugged. He doesn't see anyone, ever. Not a person alive has seen the Great Wizard. Not even those who wait on him. For some reason, Dorothy had never thought to question the wisdom of the small woman who called herself a witch, accompanied by two Munchkins. Given that there was a wizard in this land, Dorothy, why shouldn't he see them? Dorothy joined the conversation as she devoured a dinner and asked more about the Wizard. The woman's husband joined them from the fields, and what they learned was maybe true, maybe little more than rumors. Oz was a wizard who could take any form he wished. Sometimes as a bird, other times as an elephant or a cat or a fairy or a brownie. What his true original form was, no one knew. The couple asked what the group wanted with the wizard, and they launched into their normal speech. The Tin man wanted a heart. The scarecrow brains. That was fine, in a far more disconcerting sentence. That can't be read as him simply being smarter or more caring. The group was further informed that he had a large collection of hearts and brains, all sizes and shapes. Sidebar if you ever meet someone with a large collection of human organs, run. He also had a large pot of courage in his throne room. It was hopefully at this that Dorothy, fully rested and with a full stomach, realized that these people who had great faith in their ruler were likely just making stuff up off the top of their heads. At any rate, they should be going. They thanked the couple for their hospitality and continued on down the Yellow Brick road. Then, far in the distance, they saw a green glow in the sky. After what felt like weeks of walking through, at best best farmland and at worst a forest full of dangerous animals and guys who repeatedly cut their limbs off with an enchanted axe, they saw it sparkling on the horizon. The Emerald City From Jason and Carissa Weiser, the creators of myths and legends. This is fictional. Getting in was easy enough. Despite the door being massive and barred from within, they evidently didn't think that any manner of invaders or Brighams were a problem, as the outside was studded with the biggest emeralds Dorothy had ever seen. Not exactly the most lofty of distinctions, as they were the only emeralds she had ever seen anyway. Dorothy pressed a button, also a first, and a small bell rang on the other side of the door. The door slid inward, opening them to a grand room with a tall arched ceiling. A man walked forward, wearing green, of course, and the walls and ceiling matched him in their emerald hue. Dorothy couldn't tell whether it was the light in the room or the man himself, but even his pale skin seemed to have a greenish hue to it. Glancing up at the human girl, slightly taller than him, a sentient sack of straw, a talking lion, and some sort of grievous tin human abomination. The man apparently was not put off by any of that. He only wanted to know what they wished to accomplish by coming to the Emerald City. We come to see the great Oz, dorothy informed the man. At this he was surprised, so surprised that he looked at them, the floor, then back to them, and then had to take a seat on a nearby stool. It was also green. They let him sit in silence until finally he looked at them pensively. It had been some years since anyone asked to see Oz. He was powerful and terrible. If you came on an idle or foolish errand to bother his wise reflections, he might be angry and destroy a person in an instant. Dorothy said she was sorry she thought he was a good wizard. So he is the green man nodded with a smile. But I mean summary executions. Yes, he rules the Emerald City wisely and well, but to those who are not honest, who approach him with curiosity, he is most terrible. In fact, few have ever asked even to see his face. But all who ask must be taken to the palace, so that's what we'll do. First, though. He popped open a box at his side. You'll need to put these on. These were spectacles. Glasses. They're for protecting yourself against the brilliance of the Emerald City. It would blind you otherwise, the man said as he took out the different styles and fitted one to each face of the party. When it got to Dorothy's, he parted her hair and locked the glasses on and back. Even Toto got a pair. The first thing Dorothy noticed was the green everything was green. The second was that she couldn't get the glasses off if she wanted to. The strangeness of the former served only to moderately soothe the panic of the latter. With that, the door to the back of the room to the wonderful city of Oz was opened. Houses and pavement made of green marble, all studded with emeralds. The window panes were green glass, the skin of some of the people seemed to have a greenish hue, and even the sun and sky were green above the famed Emerald City. Dorothy might have wondered how much work these green glasses were doing, and what else the city might be trying to sidestep with its potential humbuggery. But it's if such concerns were there, they were tamped down by the girl's wonder at what she was seeing. She had spent her whole life on Henry and Em's farm. She had been to Kansas City once when she was a toddler, but her only memories were a hot and packed streetcar, Uncle Henry swearing under his breath and leaving the city as quickly as possible. This though all these people living so close to one another, everything built so high and beautiful shops for everything you could want. It was amazing. And above it all, the castle towered. It seemed to be hewn from giant emeralds and polished to a sheen, rising up until it touched the blue green sky. As they approached, a soldier in a green uniform, surprise. Sporting a green beard, looked to the Guardian of the Gates, who explained that these four were there demanding to see the Wizard. The soldier took the request in stride. He would present it to the wizard and report back. Okay. What was that? The Cowardly lion said when they were all finally together? They had each seen Oz, the great and powerful Oz, the wizard that ruled this strange country. But they had seen him Separately, in fact, for all of them. The only thing that was similar was was his command. Kill the Wicked Witch of the West. They had passed each night in their own separate rooms. Dorothy and the lion slept. The Scarecrow stayed up all night staring at a spider. His eyes were painted on and he couldn't close them. The Tin man, reminiscent of the days when he had flesh that needed rest and could feel, laid down on the bed and passed the night with his eyes closed, as he normally did. On the first day, Dorothy met with Oz and came away stunned. On the second, Scarecrow bumbled into the throne room and saw a woman dressed in green silk sitting with her legs crossed over one arm of the throne. She had wings coming out of her shoulders that were so light that they fluttered even if the smallest breath of air reached them. On her head was a jeweled crown. The Scarecrow was as confused as he was awestruck. This wasn't what Dorothy described. Still, he bowed and the woman's voice rang out, beckoning him closer, demanding to know why he dared approach Oz. He said he was only a scarecrow, but he had come seeking brains. He wanted brains in his head so he might become as much a person as anyone else. Why? The woman asked. Why should she do this? He said because Oz was wise and powerful and because no one else could help him. The woman sat back with a smile, saying she never granted favors for nothing. If he wanted brains in his head, he needed to kill the Wicked Witch of the West. Wait, what? The woman sat up and laughed. Yeah, no one got something for nothing. So the wizard needed the Wicked Witch of the west dead. He could do it and then he could get his brains. I thought Dorothy needed to kill the Witch in the West. The Scarecrow might have looked left and right, but his eyes were painted on, so this was really the best he could do. I don't care who kills the Wicked Witch, as long as she's dead, the woman said and waved for the Scarecrow to leave her presence back outside. Days later, as the group talked, the Tin man shook his head. He would have liked to meet with a lovely lady, but not for, you know, reasons. He didn't have a heart, remember. But he might be able to beg one from a sorceress. The wizard he met with was a giant shaggy beast with five legs and five arms. Its rhinoceros like head had five eyes and it was covered in hair all over. It was terrible, or would have been if he had a heart. Now it was just a bit of a disappointment. He had heard the Same thing. Or a similar thing. Help Dorothy kill the Wicked Witch of the west and he would get his heart confused. That murder, or at the very least, manslaughter, was a prerequisite for getting a heart. The Tin Woodman left to rejoin the others. The Cowardly lion, when he met with the wizard, had a ball. I should rephrase that. His Oz was a giant ball of fire. And he too thought it odd that to gain courage he should have to do something that required so much of it. Dorothy recounted her own meeting with Oz. For her, he was a giant floating head. Kill a witch. Dorothy looked off in the corner of the room. And what if she said no? The head laughed. Then she should remain in their land forever. It shouldn't be difficult, though. She killed the Wicked Witch of the east, who was not the Wicked Witch of the West's sister. Dorothy said okay. She never assumed that they were related. Well, good, because they're very much not Oz, the floating head said. Dorothy explained that she hadn't killed the witch willingly. It was actually her house that did it. It was more of an accident. But you accept the praise and adulation for her death going on a triumph through Munchkinland. You're wearing her shoes, the head rejoined. I needed to get home. This isn't my home. Dorothy began to grow agitated. I hate your country. I want to go home. Then kill the witch. The wizard bellowed. The giant head's eyebrows softened. It wasn't even wrong. She is wicked, tremendously wicked, and ought to be killed. Now go. And do not ask to see me again until you have completed your task at the remembrance of this meeting. Days later, outside the throne room, Dorothy wept. She had a better chance of waiting for another cyclone, and she didn't want to be a murderer. What should she do now? The only thing we can do. The Cowardly lion gazed forlorn at the stone floor. His eyes met Dorothy's through the glasses. They had to go to the land of the Winkies, seek out the Wicked Witch and destroy her. If they couldn't, he would never have courage. The Scarecrow would never have brains, the woodsman would never have a heart, and Dorothy would never get to go home. They were permitted to stay in the palace of the City of Oz to prepare Nick Chopper, the Tin Woodman sharpened his axe and had all of his joints oiled. The Scarecrow stuffed himself with some fresh straw and got new paint on his eyes so he could see a little bit better. And a green girl, not too much younger than Dorothy brought them provisions. There is no road, the soldier with the green whiskers had said, for no one wished to go that way. Then how will we find her? The Wicked witch? Dorothy shook her head. The man looked at them with a smile. They didn't. She would find them, and then she would make them her slaves. Perhaps not, for we mean to destroy her, the scarecrow said as they passed over the threshold of the Emerald City, the western sky still dark in the early morning. Oh, you mean to destroy her? Well, that really. That changes everything. The soldier gasped. It does. Dorothy cocked her head. No, the man said, and slammed the gate shut. Then, from behind the gate, the group heard a sigh. The machinery creaked as the man opened it back up and looked at them, clearly annoyed that his clever exit hadn't worked out. I'm sorry, he said, but you can't keep the spectacles. He waved them over and one by one unlocked the glasses from their heads and took them. Still gonna die. He cried out when he was done. Not as good, but it was still something. He closed the gate and barred it. No one passed through it. No one came from the land of the winkies. Not anymore. And no one but the very brave or the very foolish dared to travel that way. Wolf followed Dorothy and friends on that fateful journey to the west, though not that journey to the west for all my myths and legends friends who made it over here. But that will be right after this.