Financial Audit - $70,000 In Debt Simping For E-Girls | Financial Audit with Caleb Hammer

Episode Date: October 15, 2025
Guest: Gary (25, Water Plant Operator, Detroit area)
Host: Caleb Hammer

Episode Overview

In this episode, Caleb sits down with Gary, a 25-year-old water plant operator from Detroit, who finds himself nearly $70,000 in debt. The discussion is a wild ride through Gary's consumerist tendencies, lack of financial discipline, and unique worldview—especially his denial of money as a “real” concept. Caleb attempts to break through Gary's convoluted logic, understand his spending habits (including large sums on TikTok “galaxies” for e-girls), and suggests actionable steps for change. The episode is packed with laughter, disbelief, and moments of both self-reflection and exasperation.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Who is Gary? [01:42 – 04:14]

• Background: Age 25, water plant operator, Michigan State graduate (zoology).
  • “Not that great of education. Had fun though.” (C, 03:45)
• Income: $25.49/hr, ~$1,550 biweekly after 401k.
• Financial Independence: Only since about age 22-23, though claims some independence since 15.

2. Gary’s Worldview on Money [06:03 – 19:09]

• Denial of Responsibility: Repeatedly blames “American consumerism” for his spending.
  • “All of this is not my fault. It's American consumerism—of which you participated in willingly.” (C/B, 05:12)
• Money as a Social Construct: Insists money “isn’t real”, struggles to articulate why.
  • “Money sometimes… just I don't think is real.” (C, 06:06)
  • (Proceeds to attempt box and whiteboard analogies, gets lost explaining simple concepts)
• Caleb’s Frustration: Tries, fails, and brings in “Brandon the Interpreter” to translate Gary’s logic.
  • “This is the most confused I've been in three and a half years of the show.” (B, 13:30)
  • Brandon sums up: “He wants an excuse for all of his spending habits.” (E, 19:09)

3. Spending Habits and Rationalizations [19:42 – 38:01]

• Overspending: Outflows of $4,772 on ~$3,100 income; regularly overdrafts accounts.
  • “You're overdrafting. Why are you overdrafting for hoodies?” (B, 37:54)
• Consumerism Excuse: Gary purchases hoodies, camera gear, and impulse items, claiming to be swayed by ads and “cool designs.”
• Love Language: Gift Giving: Justifies buying for others (especially family) and random TikTok creators, regardless of financial health.
  • “My love language is just giving… If something reminds me of them, that's how I want to show appreciation.” (C, 28:01)
• TikTok “Galaxies” for E-Girls: Routinely buys digital gifts on TikTok, especially for creators with low viewership or single moms.
  • “What about the insane amount of money you've spent on galaxies on TikTok lives?” (B, 28:20)
  • “I set a budget. I only bought a certain amount of coins.” (C, 30:10)
• Disconnect from Reality: Uses credit cards as “free money,” fails to track or comprehend his deficits.
  • “If I have enough credit limit left, it's like, that's how I do it.” (C, 33:05)
  • “I'm a singular tasker. I start doing the one task, and then I get distracted…” (C, 39:09)

4. Debt Breakdown and Financial Chaos [54:00 – 91:07]

• Types of Debt (Total ~$70,000):
  • Credit Cards: Multiple, high balances, near limits, interest rates up to 31%, frequently used for non-essentials.
    • Biggest: $9,584 on MSU FCU, $1,852 on Bass Pro, $3,309 on Fifth Third, $1,270 on Synchrony (for tires).
  • Personal Loan: $776 remaining for past rent, taken at 13.49% to fund a “fun” college apartment.
  • Auto Loan: $26,836 on a Ford Edge, 9.29% interest; half paid via a credit card down payment at 30% APR.
  • Student Loans: $20,646, currently in forbearance.
• Reckless Credit Use:
  • “I put $5,000 down payment on this card. Dude.” (B, 65:10)
  • “You maxed out a $2,000 credit card to go fishing.” (B, 54:29)
• Interest and Payments: Some debts will take up to 30 years to pay off at current minimums. Gary does not prioritize timely payments, incurs regular late and overdraft fees.

5. Budgeting Failures & Self-Delusion [26:21 – 39:02]

• Claims use of budgeting apps, but doesn't track reality.
  • “I thought you spent 300. It was a thousand. Just under.” (B, 26:46)
• False Sense of Control: Believes he can “always make it back” with side hustles—rarely earns more than covering costs.
• Autopay Aversion: Refuses to use autopay to avoid “going negative,” enabling constant missed payments and fees.

6. Attempts at Solutions & Caleb’s Plan [91:28 – 101:51]

• Zero Savings, No Emergency Fund
• Caleb's Recommendations:
  • Drastic lifestyle changes: No more “bullsh,” stop gift-giving, pause TikTok spending.
  • Increase income: Second job, new career path.
  • Possible bankruptcy: Only after demonstrating 3 months of rigorous budgeting and minimal spending.
  • Use forbearance/IDR plans for student loans.
    • “At $146 left over... this is impossible. This is impossible.” (B, 97:45)
• Financial Score: 1/10 (generous rounding up).
  • “Spending in a budget: 0. Debt: 1. Emergency fund: 0. Retirement: 2 (just started). Real estate/assets: 0.” (B, 101:40)

7. Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On Money & Reality:

  • “Money sometimes just, I don't think is real.” (Gary, 06:06)
  • “My main point of all this is just like, you know, like from the beginning, money just is a social construct.” (C, 60:00)

• On Debt & Spending:

  • “Well, I just love all those ads that come up… If in the slightest I like it, I buy it.” (C, 06:00)
  • “I've never seen anything like that in my life. And I filmed so many of these.” (B, 53:16)

• On Rationalization:

  • “Compared to what? You don’t have money. You spend it all!” (B, 38:16)
  • “The late fees and stuff like that, they’re not that much compared to like…” (C, 38:07)

• On Bankruptcy Plan:

  • “Prove to me that you can make your minimum monthly payments required and not spend money on bull… Three whole months. And then I will allow you to go through bankruptcy.” (B, 98:40)

• Self-Assessment:

  • “Right now, I think I'm at like, a one and a half.” (C, 35:18)

• On TikTok E-Girls:

  • “Why are you just going out and giving everyone galaxies though, when you can't pay your own damn bills?” (B, 28:37)
  • “I support single mothers.” (E/Gary, 29:15)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Gary's background, income & attitude: 01:42–08:12
• Gary's denial of money/reality: 09:19–19:09, 60:00
• Spending habits & rationalizations: 19:42–38:01
• TikTok, gift spending, e-girls: 28:01–30:59
• Credit cards & debt specifics: 54:00–91:07
• Personal loan and reckless borrowing: 80:44–82:55
• Auto loan, car purchase missteps: 85:52–87:17
• Budget math & the harsh reality: 91:28–101:51
• Caleb’s “three paths to freedom,” score assessment: 97:45–101:51

Tone, Humor, and Delivery

• Caleb is sharp, sarcastic, patient (up to a point), genuinely seeking a breakthrough for Gary but often exasperated by Gary's circular, self-defeating arguments.
• Gary is affable but scatterbrained, with a talent for evasive logic and endless rationalization. He’s self-deprecating and (eventually) admits his own confusion.

Conclusion

This episode is simultaneously a case study in the dangers of unchecked consumerism, financial illiteracy, and self-delusion—and a testament to Caleb’s endurance and occasional hilarity as a financial “therapist.” Listeners will find themselves laughing, cringing, and perhaps recognizing similar patterns in friends or themselves.

[End of Summary]