$74,000 For New Boobs | Financial Audit

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Financial Audit with Caleb Hammer

Episode: "$74,000 For New Boobs"
Date: January 9, 2026
Guest: Stevie (they/them), 28, St. Louis, MO

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Main Theme & Purpose

In this Financial Audit episode, host Caleb Hammer sits down with Stevie, a 28-year-old nonbinary guest from St. Louis exploring the intersection of self-identity, financial stress, and impulsive spending, centered around a planned $10,000 breast lift surgery. The conversation dives deep into personal finance mismanagement, relationship challenges, risk of unemployment, mental health history—including addiction recovery—and the psychological factors fueling financial decisions.

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Key Discussion Points

1. Guest Profile and Job Situation

• Stevie's Background: Works in telecommunications building backend proposals, not client-facing. Earns $45,000/year at main job, plus ~$390/week from after-school child care/tutoring side work.

  • [04:24] “$45[000]. How the fuck are you…” – Caleb
  • [06:04] Side job brings in an extra $1,690/month (seasonal).

• Living Situation: Lives with boyfriend (met in rehab), splitting bills; family available as a last-resort safety net (grandma, age 68).

• Job Instability: Facing pay cuts, potential layoffs due to AI implementation. Recently offered alternate position at work—refused, risking job security.

  • [17:27] “He goes…we’re going to have to be cutting someone from your department. Probably somebody who doesn’t work a full 40 hours a week.”
  • [18:19] “How does that work? Please, in detail. That sounds like a great plan.” – Caleb

2. Identity, Relationships, and Therapy

• Gender & Expression: Stevie identifies as nonbinary (they/them), prefers male-associated terms like “dude/bro,” but is pursuing breast surgery for personal body confidence.

  • [07:45] “Gender identity and gender expression are two different things.” – Stevie

• Relationship: 3-year relationship, struggles with compatibility, financial balance, and divergent views on polyamory and sex due to medical factors (chronic ovarian cysts causing painful intercourse).

  • [20:46] “We are working on it…our relationship dynamic needs to change.” – Stevie

• Therapy: Both partners in couples/individual therapy; new therapist specializes in polyamory.

3. Spending Habits and Debt

• Impulsive, Emotional Spending: Seeking $10,000 for cosmetic breast lift (already $1,000 deposit paid via Klarna—BNPL lender).

  • [09:37] “It’s $9,500” (cost of surgery)
  • [41:52] “So it’s already happening…” (deposit paid)

• Other Major Expenses:

  • Recent $2,000 custom gaming PC “just to play Sims” (to be discussed in post-show).
  • Frequent DoorDash/food delivery, repeated Amazon/Wayfair/Shein spending for events and home goods.

• Pattern of Using Debt:

  • Juggles payments with cash advances, credit cards (at high interest), and BNPL.
  • [11:13] “It was basically just under $6000 [in outflow]…”

• Total Debt:

  • $74,483 across credit cards, personal loan, car loan ($29K for Kia Sportage Hybrid, heavily underwater vs. value), student loans (started in past year, $0 payment currently on income-based plan), and CareCredit (medical financing at high rates).
  • [43:49] “I think it’s like—$74,483.” – Stevie

4. Coping Mechanisms and Risk-Taking

• Overreliance on Others: Noted fallback to grandma and “backup plans” (roommate, child care jobs, possible return to sex work or OnlyFans if desperate).

  • [12:13] “Oh, for fuck’s sake…you’re saying that at 28. What a joke.” – Caleb

• History of Sex Work:

  • Sugar baby arrangement at 22; has done OnlyFans, now deactivated; boyfriend was against it.
  • [32:00] “So I met him on a website, and…he came to visit me every weekend and he would…pay me an allowance.”

• Mental Health Journey:

  • 10-year alcoholic, now 3+ years sober post-rehab. Still struggles with impulse control (e.g., shopping), now vapes (“oral fixation”).

5. Budget Analysis and Practical Advice

• Budget Shortfall: Routinely spends $1,000+ more per month than she earns, relying on debt to fill the gap.

  • [61:03] “You signed up for [these bills]…Welcome to the consequences.”

• Major Budget Violations:

  • Klarna installments, DoorDash, concert trips/clothing for events, “convenience” spending on nightstands, etc.
  • [52:12] “It doesn’t work. It didn’t match the vibe I needed.” – Stevie, regarding replacing a functional nightstand for aesthetic reasons

• Advice Given by Caleb:

  • NO surgery until debt is gone and emergency fund is established. Focus solely on essential expenses, switch to aggressive job hunt, and aggressively pay down debt.
  • [93:02] “You can do this in a year. You can do this when you pay off debt and have an emergency fund…But you cannot do this now.”
  • [93:42] “Go focus on a better paying job right now. That can be a reward after paying off all your bad debt and getting a fully funded emergency fund.”

6. Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• [12:13] “You’re saying that at 28. What a joke. That’s why you’ve never made any progress in your life. That’s why you’re prioritizing a boob job over literally anything else that would benefit your life—because people will be there and bail you out.” – Caleb
• [39:41] “The alternative is—accept this job change so you don’t get laid off tomorrow…and apply for other jobs like it’s a full-time job. That’s what you do, so you don’t get laid off and all of a sudden we don’t know how to deal with money without grandmother.” – Caleb
• [43:16] “Honestly thought I was just going to support it instinctively, but that was—they’re actually very nice.” – Caleb
• [46:05] “If in a different world…all of a sudden I just came across those, ‘saggy’ is not the word I would have thought of in any way whatsoever. That’s kind of stupid.” – Caleb, on the perceived necessity of the breast surgery
• [64:00] “The thing is, like, I know how to do finances. I just don’t do it.” – Stevie
• [94:48] “About a two out of ten for your age. I didn’t realize Hammer Financial Score rounded up to one. One out of ten.” – Caleb (final assessment)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Job & Income Discussion: [03:44]–[06:33]
• Breast Lift Surgery Costs/Plans: [07:12], [09:37], [41:47]
• Debt and Overspending Patterns: [10:59], [11:10], [43:49], [58:23]
• Relationship/Dynamics/Polyamory: [20:01], [21:06], [22:19]
• History of Sex Work, OnlyFans: [31:50]–[36:40]
• Addiction Recovery: [52:31], [56:41]
• Budget Breakdown, Minimum Payments, Student Loans: [76:43], [82:39], [90:01]
• Financial Score & Final Assessment: [94:18]–[94:56]

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Tone & Style

• Conversational, unfiltered, and occasionally irreverent.
• Caleb oscillates between tough-love accountability and dry humor, consistently calling out delusional rationalizations with directness.
• Stevie responds with candor, self-deprecation, and a willingness to poke fun at themselves—maintaining a self-aware but persistently hopeful (or avoidant) attitude about their financial situation.

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Summary Table

| Topic | Details/Quotes | Timestamp | |-----------------------------------------|------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|-------------| | Main Job & Side Income | Main: $45K, Side: $1,690/mo (seasonal childcare) | 03:44–06:33 | | Cosmetic Surgery Plan | $10,000 breast lift ($1K deposit made via Klarna) | 07:12, 09:37, 41:47 | | Total Debt | $74,483 (includes car loan, credit cards, personal loan, student loans, CareCredit) | 43:49 | | Overspending Example | “It was basically just under $6,000…” spent in a month, income lower than outflow | 11:13 | | Backup Plans (if laid off/breakup) | Grandma’s help, child care gigs, possibly returning to sex work/OnlyFans | 12:09, 31:50| | Reasoning for Boob Job | Not for others, but self-confidence; family history of sagging, past body dysmorphia | 07:22, 08:45| | Avoidance, False Sense of Security | “I have been in like every single industry… I am fully capable of finding something to make it work.” | 18:25 | | Final Financial Score | 1/10 (rounded up; heavy debt, no savings, minimal retirement) | 94:48 | | Memorable Insult | “You’re saying that at 28. What a joke…That’s why you’ve never made any progress in your life.” | 12:13 |

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Conclusion

Stevie embodies the archetype of the financially overwhelmed millennial: under-earning, unstably employed, emotionally spending, and reliant on an ever-shrinking social/familial safety net. Despite candid self-disclosure and therapy, Stevie repeats destructive cycles—borrowing for immediate gratification and rationalizing against clear risks—while facing major threats of layoff and break-up. The episode’s final lesson, delivered in Hammer’s blunt style: Cut out nonessentials, reject cosmetic spending, focus all energy on job stability/improvement and debt payoff. Pleasure and confidence come after financial security—not before.

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Final Quote:
[64:00] “The thing is, like, I know how to do finances. I just don’t do it.” – Stevie

Transcript

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[B]

I mean I used to be a.

[A]

Sugar baby and he would you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay, so kind of like. Okay, keep going. No ballist aesthetics for $1,000. What the are you doing?

[B]

That is actually my deposit for my boob job. I want a boob job.

[A]

Your down payment on the aesthetics thing is literally done on Klarna.

[B]

Yeah, Klarna.

[A]

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[B]

Hi, I'm Stevie. I'm 28. My pronouns are they them. I'm from St. Louis, Missouri and this is Financial Audit.

[A]

None of us could have guessed from the hair. No, the McDonald's fries give it away type of hair.

[B]

Yeah, who would have guessed?

[A]

Yeah, who?

[B]

I'm obviously just like a regular straight person sitting in front of you. Uh huh.

[A]

Okay, great. So what do you do for welcome. Welcome down to Austin. I'm happy to have you. Austin especially loves the they thems.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

So you're. You're extra welcome. And before Anyone says anything. I can't wash my hair today. Don't judge how I look. This is a requirement. I can wash it again tomorrow. And I don't own any hats. Okay. So what do you do for a living in St. Louis? Barista?

[B]

No, I work in telecommunications, thank you very much.

[A]

Being the assistant that goes and gets coffee?

[B]

No, I actually work like directly with Internet and phone providers and I build proposals for our clients to be like, hey, do you want better Internet?

[A]

Okay. Everyone likes better Internet. That's good. So sales, I don't see. Is it salesy? No, no, no. You just create the back end.

[B]

My rule is not. I am very much like the man behind the curtain. Well, I pulled the.

[A]

The they.

[B]

I'm the person behind the curtain. I pull all the information and I'm like, here you go. You have fun talking to the customer. Because that is.

[A]

Oh, wait, you actually prefer male pronouns as well?

[B]

I prefer like.

[A]

So when you said bro. Oh, oh, okay.

[B]

I. I don't like, like girl. No.

[A]

Are we. Are we transitioning? No. Okay. I just wanted to make sure. Because referring male thing. So I'm just like. Are we trying to budget in a future penis?

[B]

No, I have one of those at home. It's fine.

[A]

Oh, dildo.

[B]

Well, I mean, yeah. And I. And I've got, you know, another one that's attached to a person.

[A]

A boyfriend.

[B]

I do.

[A]

Oh, very good. Very good. Well, that. Okay, glad to hear. So what are you making in this job?

[B]

So during this school year, they actually cut my pay.

[A]

Those is going to make a lot of people on Twitter happy. They them working with kids. Here we go. Okay.

[B]

I love my kids.

[A]

Yeah, you keep saying it. And what. So what do you make with this? Cut pay.

[B]

So they cut me down to 45.

[A]

How many reading sessions have you done in school?

[B]

Reading sessions? I don't know what you're talking about.

[A]

What do you make?

[B]

What do I make at a job? Big, big kid job.

[A]

Please, please don't do this. Oh, yes.

[B]

Yeah. 45 a year at 36 hours a week.

[A]

45. How the are you?

[B]

What do you mean?

[A]

St. Louis is chief declining city in every metric whatsoever. In every way whatsoever. Pretty much a horrendous place to live. It's a shell of what used to be a major player in the United States. And I don't know why anyone lives there anymore, including yourself. So actually, 45, I'm not saying you can do well off that, but I could see. Okay, so you're staying for family.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That is the one reason to Stay. That's the only reason I would be in west Michigan today if I was. No, I get it. But still, lack of opportunities kind of equals that $45,000 job. But 45,000 hours also stretches more in a city where you can get a house for $1. So it kind of makes sense. 45,000. How you doing?

[B]

I mean, I also work side jobs on top of that, so clearly that does not get me where I need to be.

[A]

Well, what are the side jobs?

[B]

What are you making kids?

[A]

Hold on.

[B]

I do. I do after school care and tutoring Monday through.

[A]

What do you tutor?

[B]

Just kind of whatever. So the kids are in the. The younger ones are in seventh grade. And then I have two high schoolers, but pretty much I work with the seventh graders.

[A]

So what can I mark down as? Okay, let's go back to your main job. What can I mark down as hits process per month.

[B]

Can I use my calculator?

[A]

You don't know just your calculator.

[B]

I get a bonus, so I3 use your calculator. Okay. Thank you.

[A]

Tutor. Stop.

[B]

2,443Amonth.

[A]

2,443.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Good.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And what can we say from the other jobs?

[B]

I make three 90 a week. There, that's not bad. No.

[A]

The heck. Aren't you doubling down on that?

[B]

Right, Yeah.

[A]

A week times 52 divided by 12.

[B]

Work with the kids while they're at school.

[A]

Yeah, no, no, for sure, for sure, for sure. I get that. But even still, I mean, are you working every single day? Every single hour? Well, there you go. See, that's why I said let's double down. But either way, an extra 60 90amonth. Right? I mean, that's not half bad when we're talking.

[B]

And that's percentage increase school year. Cause my boss is like, I hate the fact that you go back and work with the kids during the school year. And I'm like, are you gonna pay me that?

[A]

No, no, I mean, I get that. But if we're. We're talking here, all of a sudden, you're up to 4,133 now. We're actually times 12, talking $50,000 a year now. That. That's a big change. That's a big increase. So what's going on? What are we talking about?

[B]

I've got a lot of debt and I just, I. I want to forget about that. And I, I don't want to forget about it, but I want to like, get rid of it. Want a boob job. I like.

[A]

I guess they don't Exist. I can see them.

[B]

No, no, they, I, I only wear sports bras, which is the ironic thing. I don't like regular.

[A]

What are you trying to do?

[B]

I want them lifted. I just want them.

[A]

They're saggy.

[B]

Yeah. My family has really bad jeans. Yeah.

[A]

Okay, so you want, you want nip tuck? Is that what it's called?

[B]

No. What? It's a breast lift.

[A]

Breast lift?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay, you want a breast lift? You want a perky and nice.

[B]

We like small and.

[A]

What? Even though you're like a guy.

[B]

Okay, Gender identity and gender expression are two different things.

[A]

Caleb, I'm lost already.

[B]

If you look at me, you're going to think, okay, woman. Yeah, exactly.

[A]

Crazy woman.

[B]

What Woman? Gender identity. Who I am does not equal what I look like.

[A]

Okay, so you prefer male pronouns. I want to make sure I'm respectful. I personally don't care. Oh, but you prefer the guy things.

[B]

Terms like dude.

[A]

Now there's pronouns and terms. Okay, it's not that I don't respect it. It is that I am.

[B]

It's confusing.

[A]

Confused?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's okay because it's ever changing and everyone has their own definitions and then the moment you get it slightly wrong, you're a Nazi. So.

[B]

Okay, I'm open to questions. I'm open to questions.

[A]

No, I just want to make sure I'm being respectful. But also I was kind of confused why someone who I thought was kind of a guy. Ish.

[B]

Wants a job.

[A]

Wants. Yeah, their nipples to be perky. Nipples, Boobies.

[B]

Because I like them. I did want to have like full on top surgery because I was having like really bad gender dysmorphia and like body dysmorphia there for a while.

[A]

There it is.

[B]

And then I went like the polar opposite and I was like, you know what? I want my boobs to look real good.

[A]

Um, that would have been concerning if you got a completely life altering surgery. How long did you have that thought for?

[B]

A few years. It wasn't one of those how old are you? Like, it was, this was like 20, 21 maybe.

[A]

Well, everyone was a little up when we were locked inside.

[B]

That's what I'm saying. You know, and then like I, I, I let that pass again.

[A]

I mean, I think anyone should do whatever they want to do. I don't care. But I'm also glad you didn't do that because now you literally want your boobs to be nicer.

[B]

I know.

[A]

So what does this cost? What? So this is what we're trying to budget for?

[B]

Yeah. Well, what does this cost, it's 9, 500.

[A]

Oh, for sick. Okay. That's a lot when it comes to.

[B]

Your job, but it's not a lot for a boob job.

[A]

And you're clearly just doing it for yourself. Right? Because, like, oh, 100. You just wear a sports bra so you. You seem flat.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Cuz I don't care what anybody else thinks of me, but, like, I want to feel good about it.

[A]

Yeah. Do your thing. Full. Yeah, that's expensive. $10,000 for.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

To get perky tits.

[B]

Yeah. I'm not going to disagree with you on that. On that. The fact that I want to get them done.

[A]

What have you disagreed with me on? I haven't even, like, said an opinion.

[B]

I know. Yeah, we haven't gotten there yet, but.

[A]

The learning and talking. Okay, listen, I want to know. Well, first of all, I mean, what hit your account is going against everything what you're saying. It was only 3700 versus the 4137 that's supposed to come in.

[B]

I get paid through Venmo.

[A]

Yes, I had Venmo come in of 1107. This isn't mathing up because even your payroll was higher than you said by $200. The Venmo in Washington substantially less than what you said.

[B]

That is like, I don't want to say necessarily average. That's like, mostly what I get. But obviously there's weeks where I am.

[A]

I don't know what's average. I don't know what's normal. Okay. But either way. So that's what came in 3746. What was your outflow? Outflow? Total outflow. Everything going out in every way.

[B]

I'm gonna say 4, 500.

[A]

It was basically just under 6,000. So what the are we doing?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

How do you get to the point of being able to afford a $10,000 boob job? If we were spending thousands more than we make, what are we doing? Do you live with the boyfriend?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay, so is that why your life is probably subsidized? Is that why you think you're able to just go spend more money than you make and not see the massive amount of consequences? You will, but it catches up a little slower. It catches up a little slower.

[B]

I think it'll be worth it.

[A]

What is this? Well, actually, no, that doesn't even make sense because I'm literally. Lindsay's telling me that you actually just want to break up with him. So what the wait, he's here.

[B]

He's here.

[A]

Listen, if he's the only reason you're able to survive right now. But you're about to. You want to break up?

[B]

It's okay.

[A]

Are we doing. You're going to. You're going to be in the dirt. You're going to be in a ditch.

[B]

No, I have backup plans.

[A]

What's your backup plans? Mommy and daddy?

[B]

No, my grandma.

[A]

Oh, for sake. Sake. Dude, you're saying that at 28. What a joke. That's why you've never made any progress in your life. That's why you've never done anything. That's why you're prioritizing a boob job over literally anything else that would benefit your life because people will be there and bail you out. So you've never had to grow up in your life?

[B]

I absolutely have.

[A]

You're dressed like a clown.

[B]

I'm not. Okay, no.

[A]

With the hair and everything. So where's the grow up? I don't hear the grow up.

[B]

Just because I have yellow hair, you think that I can't be a grown up?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

I work an office job. I got the office job with the yellow hair.

[A]

Okay, yeah. Not making an office pay, but. Correct.

[B]

Well, that's. It's a super small company and the office.

[A]

I'm a super small company. I pay good money.

[B]

Well, yeah, that's different though. That's because, like, you actually care. My boss doesn't care about as employees.

[A]

So a grown up would go get a better job. Grown up.

[B]

Have you. Have you tried. Have you looked at the job market?

[A]

I literally have the analytics. It's not the best job market right now. I will say. How long have you had this job?

[B]

I've worked here for over a year now.

[A]

Okay, well, it was a little better a year ago. Over a year.

[B]

It took me six months.

[A]

Thrilling or seller? No.

[B]

Get this job. What?

[A]

Huh?

[B]

It took me six months to get into this.

[A]

Well, things. Okay, well, she's also. Lindsey's also telling me that things are on the rocks at your current job, so want to break up with her boss boyfriend. Like the only reason that we're able to even like, stay afloat. And two things are on the rocks of the job.

[B]

I don't even know that the job thing is not my fault.

[A]

Says every colored hair woman.

[B]

Okay, so they're apparently implementing a new AI program that is going to be specifically affecting my department.

[A]

Well, AI is good at not canceling their employers on TikTok.

[B]

I. Nobody.

[A]

Nobody knows, girl, the moment you get laid off, you're going on TikTok and talking shit. About?

[B]

No, no, I'm not that type of person. Uh, hu. I. Oh. I talk about things with people that are close to me because it affects my life.

[A]

So what's on the rocks? Tell me.

[B]

So, okay, because that's your entire.

[A]

That's like. That's 70 of your income source.

[B]

I know. Literally, a week ago, my boss called me into his office and wanted to offer me a different role.

[A]

The evil boss?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, a different role. A different role.

[B]

Yeah, he wanted me to be on his team. Granted. Keep in mind, two weeks before this, my supervisor was on her honeymoon, and so I was taking on like, the brunt of her role, making sure everything got assigned, making sure all the work.

[A]

Welcome to a small business.

[B]

Yeah. And that. That is no problem to me. I do not mind doing that. However, while she was on her honeymoon, he brought me into his office and like, berated me, docked my bonus, saying that I was making changes.

[A]

Let's hear the why.

[B]

But I literally made mistakes. There were three months in a row.

[A]

Instead of being defensive, try to take his perspective.

[B]

Absolutely. I. But I agree. I agree that there were mistakes made. Caleb. I'm a human.

[A]

You're a human. But guess what? There's another human out there that'll take the same pay, if not less pay, and have less mistakes.

[B]

Okay, sure.

[A]

So you're really just. I mean, sure, but you're having an agreement. It's you and employer to do a job, to get the pay.

[B]

But when I asked, if you're not.

[A]

Doing the job they want, they will not feel the desire to pay you. They will go find someone else that will do the pay and the job.

[B]

However, why not tell me my mistakes?

[A]

Well, it sounds like he did.

[B]

No. Yeah, he literally that he wasn't going into detail about any of the mistakes. He kept it very vague the entire time I asked questions.

[A]

I trust your interpretation of this event.

[B]

And that's, you know, you don't. You don't have to. But I asked him specifically, like, okay, what mistakes? Like, what can I do to like, you know, do better? You know, what are your expectations? I mean, he's like, I'm not going to go into detail about the whole thing. Just know that, you know, we're. We're just noticing too many mistakes.

[A]

And if that's true, then that's bad management on his part for sure. Again, interpretation. I'm curious, but he said he offered you another position, so if things are on the rocks. It doesn't sound like it.

[B]

Back to that. So last week he wanted me on his Team. After he's yelling at me about making mistakes. He's like, I want you to join my team and be his assistant.

[A]

Assistant?

[B]

Yeah, I would be. That's a downgrade with his clients. One on one and same pay. Uhhuh. And I would be building proposals, doing the thing that I'm already doing.

[A]

Well, you were talking. Well it's a small business, so a lot of people take up, you know, you do multiple jobs. We do that here. This happens.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

That's normal. So what's the concern? You mentioned like an AI thing. What do you.

[B]

Yes, the concern, yes. So I, you know, he wasn't going to offer me more pay. I was going to be doing more intensive work than what I currently do. And I love my department. My supervisor is amazing. She's so great.

[A]

Okay, go on.

[B]

So I told him, I was like, you know, thank you for the offer, but you know, I think I'm just going to stay in the department for the job that I was hired for.

[A]

Well then probably not good job security. I'll be honest.

[B]

He goes, well, you know, once this AI program gets implemented, we're going to have to be cutting someone from your department. Probably somebody who doesn't work a full 40 hours a week.

[A]

You work a full 40?

[B]

I work 36, which is still legally full time in the state of Missouri.

[A]

He's at 40 though.

[B]

I know he was specifically singling me out.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I literally said to his okay.

[A]

So take the other job. A little bit of self preservation here, lady. No one's entitled to a job.

[B]

His, his assistant hates me.

[A]

Yes, but you might be temporarily taking this while searching for another job.

[B]

I can search for another job.

[A]

Yeah, but I want you to collect an income while you're searching for the other job. What are you stupid? What are you talking about? You're trying to get 10,000 hour boobs. Yeah, that's not even in the conversation. If you might be laid off and you're not willing to do any kind of self preservation whatsoever. What? What are you talking about?

[B]

I'll make it work.

[A]

How does that work? Please, in detail. That sounds like a great plan.

[B]

Caleb, I, I have been in so many different roles. I've done so many different things. Girl, you're 28.

[A]

Shut the up. Go on.

[B]

I am fully capable. Of what? Finding something to make it work.

[A]

Well, as we've both confessed, this is the worst job market since the great recession.

[B]

Yeah, and I get that. But if I need to take on some shitty like two part time jobs doing whatever, would they Trust you? Would they trust me with what?

[A]

I don't know. Other than Starbucks. You're a walking red flag.

[B]

No offense dude, I've been in management position since I was 19. Girl.

[A]

You're making 45000 a year management because. What are you talking about?

[B]

Because I.

[A]

That's not on 45000 a year by the way. But it's just like you're not going to be able to jerk yourself off with that.

[B]

No, I finished my degree and I changed career paths because I was tired of working and this AI thing, who.

[A]

Even knows if that's true. AI is like the actual analytics about job replacements aren't even 100. Great. It's just a shitty job market right now because tech over hired and money's.

[B]

Expensive to borrow and it's like fear tactic things.

[A]

It may have been. It may have been.

[B]

That's why I was like which.

[A]

Why not do any kind of self preservation, take the other job and then apply for another job like it's your full time job.

[B]

I mean I could do that.

[A]

So you're not breaking up with your boyfriend because I was told specifically beforehand that you want to break up with your boyfriend.

[B]

We have had issues.

[A]

Every relationship has issues.

[B]

But it's like.

[A]

But literally you guys live together. It's the only reason you can afford bills. Stagnant.

[B]

Yeah, the relationship is just like. It's like we live two separate lives.

[A]

Okay, tell me.

[B]

Like, I mean I work a lot.

[A]

I'll probably bring him in the post show.

[B]

He doesn't like the fact that I work a lot.

[A]

Okay, so stop being a.

[B]

When I get home at like you know, 7:38pm and then it's like I need to eat. We'll watch a TV show together and then I'm going to bed and he's like we get no time together and everything. And I'm like I guess I'm on.

[A]

The opposite side too. But she doesn't. It doesn't turn into a toxic thing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Just understands that I work my ass off.

[B]

But then it's like, you know, he wants to complain that I'm working all the time and that like I don't have any time for him. But when I am home like on the weekends, like well how long has.

[A]

This been going on if this is going to be.

[B]

I mean we've been together for almost three years.

[A]

So are you breaking up or not?

[B]

We are working on it.

[A]

We almost told you want to break up.

[B]

We almost did.

[A]

Okay. Where would you lean right now on a Metric of breaking up. 0% is not breaking up. 100% is 100% breaking up. Where are you on the scale?

[B]

I'd say 50. Because I want to give. I want to give it a chance. Because our relationship dynamic, the idea is like our relationship dynamic needs to change.

[A]

Well, you hit him out of the gate when you guys first started seeing each other, that you wanted to be open. So you wanted to immediately. Well, that's okay.

[B]

Well, I told him that like I want a polyamorous relationship.

[A]

Open is fun. It can be fun. Having sex is fun. But it has to 100% agreed by the other person. Not agreed out of pressure though. They want to also be actively want to be open.

[B]

I get this.

[A]

But he doesn't. As far as I at least know from the nose.

[B]

Well, we. That's what I'm saying. We almost.

[A]

This is the only way you can keep a roof over your head right now is with this guy. But you're trying to go take.

[B]

No. I want a girlfriend, Caleb.

[A]

So you will. Only women.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Only strictly. You will never see a thing.

[B]

I don't want an open relationship. I want a polyamorous relationship. I want us to have a girl. That's what I'm saying. We had a conversation about it. He said that he was willing to try it, that you know he would be okay with that. But he's never been in a polyamorous relationship. So I told him like have you go to therapy? Yeah.

[A]

And yeah.

[B]

And I loved it.

[A]

Well, you're not perfect, so it probably wasn't.

[B]

I know I'm not now because. Well, she sounds like it didn't work because she wanted to break up with him. They were together for four years before I joined into their relationship.

[A]

Why are you trying to up this thing? That is literally. I know it's not perfect. No relationship is perfect. But again, I. I want to preface this. The only reason you're able to survive right now is cuz you split bills with someone else. Like what are we doing? Like you're about to cuff in a massive time while also being on the chopping block of getting laid off while also trying to drop $10,000 on making boobs perky while spending 2,000 more than you make on a monthly basis. Like none of this is stacking up.

[B]

Happiness is important.

[A]

Happiness is important. But you're literally on the edge of losing everything. Trust me, you'll be a lot less happy than you are right now on that other side.

[B]

I'll figure it out.

[A]

No, that's okay. Tell me I'll figure it out. Listen, this is. That's something I hear all the time. How would you give me some details? Because I'll figure it out itself. Is not a plan. So tell me the big grand plan.

[B]

I have been in like every single industry.

[A]

Not about what you've done. Tell me what your plan is.

[B]

You plan in this job market.

[A]

The worst job market you've ever seen in your lifetime as an adult. For sure.

[B]

Go back to doing full time child care. Easy. I have connections.

[A]

How much were you making doing that?

[B]

I make $30 an hour with the kids.

[A]

Why aren't you doing that? And stop saying the kids.

[B]

Because I want an actual career. I love it. This is my passion. Like.

[A]

Like you literally told Lindsay earlier that you couldn't work in child care full time.

[B]

No, I.

[A]

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[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But. But that's what I'm saying. Like, I can't work with those families full time because they have school.

[A]

I feel like you don't know what you do. Would you have a full time job?

[B]

What do you mean? I would probably just work with another family during the day.

[A]

Like, okay, if you get it again. I feel like as things cut back in a recession, you know, it's not necessarily taking care of your kids cut back, but the more frivolous spending things. And sometimes having someone over can be considered frivolous spending. I'm not saying you wouldn't be able to find something, but your. Your plan is that will 100 work kind of makes sense.

[B]

No, I'm saying that that's an option of mine.

[A]

Okay, that's an option. What else is in your grand plan here?

[B]

I could have a roommate. If things don't work out with a boyfriend, I could always get a roommate. Because, like, we just had an issue not too long ago. Like, he didn't pay me for his half of the utilities by the month. He thought that it was okay for him to wait until the third whenever he gets paid. No.

[A]

Okay. What's agreed upon, what's been agreed upon.

[B]

Agreed upon in the entirety of our relationship was that he would pay me for his half of the bills before the end of the month.

[A]

So why is he in it?

[B]

It's happened so many times. And like this month I was like.

[A]

And that got you close to breakup.

[B]

That was like, one of the big reasons. Because I'm like, we have a financial responsibility together, right? That's what you're saying? So then why am I fronting everything and then him just being like, oh, I can just pay whenever I want.

[A]

I'm so confused. The notes. I'm getting so many just weird things. Okay. Stevie, who is you, wants an open relationship so he, as in him can sleep with other people. What?

[B]

I.

[A]

This is such a mess.

[B]

I have a medical problem. I get chronic ovarian cysts. So sex is very painful for me.

[A]

Stop.

[B]

Or, oh, my God, I wish I could.

[A]

Or taken in the ass. I don't know.

[B]

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. Thank you.

[A]

I was joking. Keep going.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. Yeah. You get this in your. That sucks.

[B]

I do. It hurts.

[A]

Yeah. That hurts.

[B]

So always I feel them. So you can't I can, but it, like, it has to be. It's like. It's like doing surgery, you know, you have to be, like, very methodical and, like, very planned out. It's got to be, like, a whole thing in order.

[A]

So you want him to go some people?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Does he.

[B]

I mean, he's. He's a man. He gets horny, and sometimes I'm like, I physically cannot. So he does. I honestly don't think that he wants to go other people, but I want him to be able.

[A]

It's such a mess.

[B]

Welcome to my life.

[A]

Yeah. What are you doing about it? You're about to get laid off, and you aren't accepting that job change. You're doing nothing. I'll get you a course career certification to help boost your skills, so hopefully you can get a different job a little easier. I'll get you that for free.

[B]

I want to get my mba.

[A]

Okay. How are you paying for school and taking the income?

[B]

That's why I'm not doing it yet.

[A]

Okay, well, apparently you're saying a lot, but yet you're doing nothing. You're literally putting yourself on that edge again in your relationship, in this job.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So what the f. Are we doing? And not just because grandma will take care of us. That's horrible. How old's grandma?

[B]

68.

[A]

I hope she's healthy.

[B]

She is.

[A]

Good. But you won't be able to rely on her forever.

[B]

No, I'm not trying to rely on her. I'm just like. Like, she's.

[A]

Oh, you're bringing it up now and all this shit because you found a girl on a queer local Facebook page.

[B]

No, no, no. She's my best friend.

[A]

She.

[B]

She's talked about how, like, she wants to date me.

[A]

You want to bring her in, but.

[B]

No, no, no, no. Her and her partner.

[A]

You're gonna fuck this up with this guy.

[B]

No. Her and her partner in an open relationship. That's not what I'm wanting. But I would like to date her. But that's. Show me her that. Okay.

[A]

She better be hot. Perky tits. I guess, if that's what you're into.

[B]

Well, she's probably not going to be your type, but I think she's too. I don't know.

[A]

Well, then how can you say you.

[B]

Make fun of me for having yellow hair? So I'm like. People like me probably aren't.

[A]

Well, I've never seen that color before.

[B]

Oh, okay, Mom. Does it look good?

[A]

Huh?

[B]

Does it look good? You're thinking awfully hard about that, and I don't know.

[A]

I've already made my conclusion of just staying quiet. It's just, you know, it's not. My hair doesn't look good today either. That's okay. We can. We can both be struggling together.

[B]

So this was us at the MCR concert. So it's not like a great representation of what she looks like.

[A]

Can I see a normal picture by chance? Because that's scary.

[B]

We went.

[A]

It was emo scary.

[B]

Hey, we went dumpster diving, and we found these, like, two fully put together mannequins. It was super funny, actually. Let me just look at my Instagram story.

[A]

Maybe stay in St. Louis. We don't need to unleash you on the rest of the world.

[B]

Are you sure? Okay. I.

[A]

Which one is she?

[B]

I'm not the one with the yellow hair or. I guess I didn't have yellow hair at that time.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, you looked a lot more normal.

[B]

I. Yeah, I did go normal for a while, but I didn't feel like.

[A]

This is a wood. This is a run and hide.

[B]

Here, I'll show you what my hair did look like whenever.

[A]

No, that's okay. I don't need that.

[B]

See?

[A]

Okay, that's you, that's me, and that's a run and hide as well. See, the last picture is a wood. That is a run and hide. Just saying. I'm going to be candid.

[B]

Teach their own.

[A]

Well, you literally put on clown makeup in that photo. So, yes, I'm running and hiding. Whereas in the previous picture, you were attractive. Okay.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Before we get into these finances again, your plan, this grand plan, I need to just hear where your mind is at. Grand plan. So you said you can get into childcare. Maybe you can, maybe you can't. It's hard to just rely on one thing. What else? Grand plan?

[B]

I mean, I used to be a sugar baby.

[A]

To who? To what? What did that look like?

[B]

It was great.

[A]

What did that look like? That's not an answer.

[B]

So it. So I met him on a website, and he was a man. Yeah. And he came to visit me this week when I was in college. We actually had, like, a really good relationship. Like, we had a lot in common.

[A]

How old were you?

[B]

I was 22.

[A]

How old was he?

[B]

He was my mom's age, so I think he was, like, 40.

[A]

Okay. Were you hot?

[B]

Was I hot?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

When have I not been Yellow hair.

[A]

Go on. Yes. To incorporate this back into the grand strategy. What did you make? How did it work?

[B]

I mean, it, like, it kind of varied. So, like, I got I got paid like an allowance every time he came to visit me and he came to visit me every weekend and he would.

[A]

You.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. So kind of like. Okay, keep going.

[B]

No, it was like a relationship that.

[A]

You got on a.

[B]

It was a relationship that had a financial advantage.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I would like to put it.

[A]

That's how you would like to put it.

[B]

We like texted all the time and like talked all the time about just like advanced process continue anyway. And he would like take me places. We would go to like Cardinals games. We would just like go travel a little bit and. Well, also.

[A]

How much were you making?

[B]

I don't know. This was so long ago, Caleb. I would say probably like, well, if.

[A]

This is part of the grand plan, if we get okay. Not what are we making? What were we making?

[B]

It wasn't. I mean, it was probably pretty on par with what I'm making. My job is.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Grand.

[A]

And it was this one guy.

[B]

Yeah, consistently. And then I kind of had like a manic episode and. And so I ended things with him. And then I have. I had a few more moments where like one guy I met who lived in Alaska and I like flew to Alaska and we were gonna like get married to strangers. And then I met the guy and I was like, absolutely not. But I did have a four day vacation in Alas. That.

[A]

And he paid you?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And he. You.

[B]

No, no, no, no, no, no.

[A]

He did not.

[B]

Did not let him.

[A]

He paid you. And he didn't even get the. That's abuse.

[B]

Okay. He was just not.

[A]

So I don't want you to have to get back into prostitute plus. Is the advanced product okay. Or prime prostitute? Prime. We. We don't. I don't want you to get into prostitution elite once more.

[B]

No. I mean, but a grand plan.

[A]

This is. You did of?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Do you do of?

[B]

No. I quit whenever I got with boyfriend because he didn't like it.

[A]

But you. But you would reset. But you wouldn't be breaking up if you got laid off. Except you guys are on the verge of breaking off now. But he would allow you to do olf.

[B]

He wants him to do it with me, but he said he wouldn't do it with me.

[A]

But he would let you do of.

[B]

Okay, first of all, nobody laid off me do anything.

[A]

Well, potentially a relationship is usually compromises and kind of what we like the other person doing and not doing. So yes, there is a part of let.

[B]

There's a part of acceptance or not. Okay. Yeah.

[A]

Okay. Would he accept?

[B]

I don't know. We'd have to talk about it more.

[A]

What were you making on of.

[B]

Oh, gee, that was such a fever dream because I was still, like, unmedicated at that time. So it would like. It would be random because, like, sometimes I would make a lot because I would. I'd, like, actually put effort into it. I would go ghost. Huh.

[A]

What concept?

[B]

I was solo, but I was super fun with it. So I would, like, choose a song, and it's like, I would make, like, a music video out of it. I spent so many hours editing my videos, I actually loved doing it. But, yeah, I stopped. What do you. Are you talking about me?

[A]

Yes. Okay, so jumping back into that would be brutal.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't want you to jump into prostitute light, which is that. Or prostitute advance, which is the other one.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Taking dick for money or having people fat to you for money. That's not. See, this is what I don't like. I don't like that. The alternative for a young woman. It's just like, if things get bad, I would just literally make money off of my body. Off my tits. My saggy tits.

[B]

I. I could.

[A]

I know. Well, I'm asking your grand plan. You're bringing it up. Dude, you tit.

[B]

Well, I have two of them. I could put them to use.

[A]

It's not active anymore, right? You deleted the account?

[B]

No, Yeah, I deleted them.

[A]

Okay, so it's even harder to get back in.

[B]

I know, I know.

[A]

But I'm also glad you deleted it.

[B]

You should let it go. Because I was like, that was like, such an error.

[A]

How'd you delete it?

[B]

Of my life. Because, like, just don't use it. I compromised so much in the beginning of our relationship.

[A]

Yeah, and now you're regretting and you want to break up with him.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So you can go fuck a woman.

[B]

I'm like, okay, hold up. I. I let go of so much of myself, so we need to, like, reel it back in. Let me be me.

[A]

Does he like you?

[B]

Yeah, you.

[A]

You. That you're reeling back in.

[B]

I mean, I don't. We haven't really talked. We just. Caleb, we just started our therapy journey again. We're figuring it out. My new therapist, like, specializes in polyamory, so, like, oh, boy. We're going to have a lot of homework to work on together.

[A]

Oh, for sake. You guys are good luck. I'll give it one more quarter. Good luck. Absolutely. Good luck. Okay, well, I don't like those backup plans, to be very clear. The child care one, maybe that's the best. I don't necessarily like that one of the three plans is child care and the person that's talking about child care. The other two plans are Prostitution elite and prostitute Light. But I guess that's where we are in 2026.

[B]

So I can be hot and sexy and at the same time, like.

[A]

Yes. And how do parents feel about that, though?

[B]

I don't show that side of me when I am.

[A]

Yeah, but they could find out your tit.

[B]

Okay. And then however they want to approach it, we can go from there.

[A]

All right, let's jump into these finances.

[B]

I'm capable.

[A]

You're an adult, but you're not entitled to money. No, you're not entitled to a job. You're not entitled to people thinking that you.

[B]

But I am capable.

[A]

Taking for money. Which by the way, I don't even know how you do that for money if it's that painful. You did. You literally did.

[B]

Okay, well, I didn't have ovarian cyst at that time.

[A]

Okay. So now you just recently, you know, so glocky glocky glocky glucky.

[B]

It works.

[A]

It works. But I'm not advocating for that. I don't necessarily want that to be how to keep a roof over your head. I hate that that's how. Where we've come to.

[B]

I mean same, but you know, same.

[A]

Yet you gotta.

[B]

You gotta do what you gotta do. Caleb.

[A]

No, that is not it. Because I literally laid out the alternative. You dumb. And I guess I can say this correctly in this con, in this context. Whore. Ya. Whore used to be called someone a whore.

[B]

Used to be, but I love it.

[A]

Yahor. All right. It's just like I gave you the alternative. The alternative is obviously accept this job change so you don't get laid off tomorrow. And when you accept it, get skilled up, update your skills again with the certification I give you. Plus going and applying for other jobs like it's a full time job. That's what you do so you don't get laid off. And all of a sudden we don't know how to deal with money without grandmother. Okay, that is the alternative. That's the adult response. Without going into prostitution.

[B]

I think it's too late. I don't. I don't think that if I went back to hen.

[A]

Wait, when was this offer?

[B]

It was last week.

[A]

Oh, you're such a child. 28. What is wrong with you? What is wrong with you?

[B]

I. It's not like I.

[A]

You're a baby.

[B]

That much on baby?

[A]

Sure. So then extra wise grandma paying for it. Baby is wrong with You a lot.

[B]

I mean we could go there if you.

[A]

Yeah, no shit. What do you think your financial score is? 0 to 10. 0 being the worst, 10 being the best.

[B]

Okay, so I took the score.

[A]

Proud of you Caleb hammer.com.

[B]

And it was a 2.17. So I rounds to a three rounds. Two or three? Yeah.

[A]

And like the overall score. Yeah.

[B]

Oh, okay. I think I'm going to give myself just a two though.

[A]

Okay, we'll go there. If you want your financial score like she did, take the assessment for [e-mail] see where you stand in the world of money where you're doing poorly, where you're doing great. What you need to do to improve yourself. Caleb.com just takes a few minutes and it is free. And if you don't want to be like a guest who ends up on the show, make sure you download. The dollar wise budgeting app has tens of thousands of active users for a reason. People are changed to their lives. You can too. With features added every single month. It is incredible credible dollarwise app. Take the free trial and if you like it, stick around and you can sign up for the annual version like most people do to save a lot of money. And then for about only a month left only I will personally sign my budget friendly cookbook and mail it directly to you. That is gone at the end of February.

[B]

They. Huh? You said she. It's they.

[A]

Whore.

[B]

Okay, so potato, potato.

[A]

I'm a absolutely, absolutely.

[B]

There's nothing wrong with it.

[A]

I love whores.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Big fan of whores. Including.

[B]

Very supportive.

[A]

We love it. Okay, what's this first thing? What am I looking at?

[B]

That is my klarna.

[A]

Of course it is. What the is going on with this?

[B]

It's a great question.

[A]

Well, bliss aesthetics for a thousand dollars. So what the are you doing?

[B]

That is actually my deposit for my boob job.

[A]

So it's already happening.

[B]

So technically like if you take that portion off, it's only 8, 500 because that's already been paid.

[A]

Again, they don't seem that bad.

[B]

I mean like I could. I could show you like. Do you want to see them?

[A]

I could do a tit audit. Do you consent?

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Okay. I'll look at a picture. I'll look at a picture. But not here in the studio. We don't want them out in the studio.

[B]

Okay, deal.

[A]

I legit would not do it. Don't do it.

[B]

My. I just want them to because it's.

[A]

Very expensive and they're very nice.

[B]

I just want them to. I feel Like, I don't know, it's a feeling thing. I want them to feel nice, but.

[A]

You just strictly can't afford this. And that's not a medical necessity. You didn't have boob cancer, correct?

[B]

No.

[A]

Okay, like. And that's like, this is purely cosmetic.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I want you to be able to do more cosmetic things in the future if you want to, but right now we're literally worrying about keeping your job and keeping a roof over your head and. Yeah, that was a funny idea, all that stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, great.

[B]

I literally already paid my deposit.

[A]

Yeah. A thousand. You have nine left. Here's the thing. Those just some. And I honestly thought I was just going to support it instinctively, but that was. They're actually very nice.

[B]

Well, I appreciate that you like them, but.

[A]

No, no, no. It's not even about that. It is literally math, like, for that. This is pure cosmetic. And I know it's just for you, it's not for others, and I can respect that and support that. You do not need this right now. There's not like something wrong there.

[B]

That deposit only lasts for eight months. So that means like in the future, whenever I, like, if I have to wait to do it, I lose that deposit and then I have to pay it all over again.

[A]

But you're spending thousands more than you make on a monthly basis. How much debt do you have? What's your debt number?

[B]

I think it's like 80, $74,483.

[A]

That doesn't mean it's good, though. You could have said 100. That doesn't mean 73 is good. Listen, if you are going and dropping an extra nine that you do not have, which means there's going to be more debt, you're rounding this up to now 85. We're getting closer and closer to six figures to debt with nothing to show for it. No. Yes.

[B]

No. Yes, because.

[A]

What do you mean?

[B]

What do you mean, no? I'm going to use one of my credit cards. I'm going to pay down.

[A]

How? How? When you spend more than you make? How, hey, if you get. If you get laid off? How? If you get laid off? How?

[B]

I have money that is going to be coming in from my last house that I rented. So what? So I like rented this place and it was kind of like a rent to own situation where like $50 of your rent every month goes into like the savings bank and then at the end of your lease you like, get that back.

[A]

Never even heard of that. I've heard of rent to Own. But I've never even heard of whatever you're. That's not rent to own. That's like rent to save.

[B]

No, no, no. Yeah, I was. Well, well, the thing is, at the end of your lease, that money that you have in savings could go directly to your like. Yeah. Your down payment on the house.

[A]

Okay, so how much?

[B]

Like 4,500.

[A]

I mean, 4,500 is a lot of money to anyone, to be clear, but one that pays for half of what you still owe on something you can't afford to. 4,500 to your debt still only brings down your bad debt to $50,000. So this math is not working. If you were about to say $50,000, I'd be like, oh, shit. But we got something to play with here.

[B]

Yeah, no, not that much.

[A]

And trust me, there's a lot to play with there. I learned. But it's. The fact is, it just. It doesn't make any mathematical sense, but it makes like. It makes want sense. This is essentially going and getting some McDonald's fries of the tit world. You don't need this. This isn't getting your boobs done after you had to have surgery to get cancer removed. This isn't. They are so saggy that your literal entire body is collapsing.

[B]

But they are saggy.

[A]

Kind of.

[B]

Okay, thank you.

[A]

But kind of. I mean, I'm so that I'm agreeing just because you're saying it. If I. If that was. If. If in a different world we were doing stuff and all of a sudden I just came across those. Saggy is not the word I would have thought of in any way whatsoever. That's kind of stupid. I'll be honest. But what's not is actually getting a checking account that gives you free money. Free money. We like free money. You can get up to $350 in bonus cash right now. When you sign up for the checking account that I use, Chime also, it makes your savings grow at a 3.5 APY interest rate. Guys, you can watch Financial Audit and get free money at the same time. Who would have thought? That's incredible. Check it out. Link in the description below. Sign up for chime. Get that $350 right now in your checking account. Wanna know a dirty little secret? And no, I'm not starting an. Only you're not broke because you suck with money. You just can't see where it's going. If your bank account is empty at the end of every month, that is not bad luck. That is bad tracking. And it's exactly why I use dollarwise. It shows you exactly where your money's going every single month. Spending, subscriptions and savings all in one simple dashboard. Everything you need and nothing you don't. And when you download Dollar Wise today, you'll get to try it for free. Plus three months for just 9.99 so you can finally take control and see what your money's been doing behind your back. Click below to get started. Well, they're just substantial and gravity exists.

[B]

Yeah. But I feel them every day, so yeah, they're huge. Yeah. So you're about to make a trade based on a friend's text, but which you do you listen to, is it we could buy a house in Tulum, get optioning those options. We could lose everything. Or let's do a little research, get your head in the trade and make the investment decision that's right for you. Learn [e-mail] TradeSmart you're getting reduction.

[A]

No, see like it's just. Isn't gravity just gonna. Lindsay, can you educate me? Is gravity not just gonna work its magic again in a few years?

[B]

I mean, but you're getting a lift and then an implant. Uh huh.

[A]

A lift and implant.

[B]

It's just a tiny little implant to like round it out so they look. So the lift.

[A]

The lift will. Yeah. And then the implant will help hold.

[B]

I mean, I'm not a plastic surgeon, but I understand. Well, they do this like mesh bra too. That was an option, but it was like an extra like $2,000 so I did not plan for that. But they do this like internal mesh bra where it's like you're not even.

[A]

Trying to get back into of you don't. I. I know it's just for you. I'm trying to respect that. It just doesn't make sense. You can do this in a year. You can do this when you pay off debt and have an emergency fund. This is not an emergency. It's not. It's not there. Your aesthetic. Listen, you're sorry. Your down payment on the aesthetics thing is literally done on Klarna.

[B]

Yeah, I did.

[A]

You didn't even pay for it. You put it on Klarna.

[B]

I did not use.

[A]

Pull up your Klarna for me. I guess you're supposed to go to Florida for the boob job.

[B]

Yeah. We're doing a family vacation.

[A]

Yeah. In January.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Your boyfriend's family freaked out and wasn't comfortable with it.

[B]

Yeah. So I canceled it. And then I don't know necessarily if I'm going on the family vacation anymore. Because now I kind of feel uncomfortable.

[A]

What part did they not support?

[B]

So his dad was just basically saying that he didn't feel comfortable about the fact that I was recovering, like, the last few days of our vacation.

[A]

Well, yeah, they kind of.

[B]

I had the first five full days with them.

[A]

Yeah, but you're up the ending of the vacation. I don't think that's unfair.

[B]

I don't have to be involved in everything.

[A]

Yeah, but your boyfriend's gonna want to say support. They're gonna feel bad. Come on. It puts a weird dynamic on the vacation.

[B]

He didn't like that I was flying after a Tidditch immediately after.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Which, like is fine. But I'm like, okay, well. But the thing is, I scheduled the surgery around that.

[A]

When your boyfriend comes into the post show, how is he gonna feel that I've seen your titties.

[B]

That's a great question, Caleb.

[A]

I hope we fight. Okay, so Bliss aesthetics. Thousand dollars. Sheen usa. Sheen usa.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Wayfair. Victoria's Secret. Okay, now I understand.

[B]

Let me justify the sheen was I went to the My Chemical Romance concert in Chicago and I had a very specific outfit idea in mind. And so I ordered it from there. And then anything that, like, I didn't like or didn't work, I did mail back, so I did return it.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, the Victoria's Secret. I see a refund, but even still.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What do you. Okay. So on Klarna, what is this? What is this owed? I'm going to say it's like 1,500.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And your monthly is probably like, 250.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

My gosh. You know, Klarna has, like, the worst interest rates there are.

[B]

I don't use the interest rates.

[A]

I hope not. Unless you get laid off and you can't make a payment. You dumb.

[B]

No. Or I'll always find a way to make a payment.

[A]

Gosh, we gotta bring the word back. What a good word. I love it.

[B]

It is a good word.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What are you getting on Wayfair? Wayfair.

[B]

I needed a nightstand. We had to, like, emergency move into our new house because our house got broken.

[A]

So why'd you need a nightstand right there?

[B]

Because I didn't have one, so. So I needed one.

[A]

No.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

No. Wayfair is great as, like, a platform and products. You did not need a nightstand.

[B]

One nightstand, Caleb.

[A]

No. Also, Facebook Marketplace. I guarantee you could get one.

[B]

Yeah, but the one that I got.

[A]

And also, if you were moving to a new house, did you not already have A nightstand?

[B]

No.

[A]

Well, then why do you need a nightstand?

[B]

Because I didn't have one at your old place.

[A]

You didn't, so you didn't need one?

[B]

Yes, I did.

[A]

Because you were surviving without one.

[B]

I use this like old ass.

[A]

Good. Use that again. Use it again. Well done.

[B]

I trash it. Because it didn't. It didn't. It doesn't work. It didn't match the vibe I needed.

[A]

What are you doing to your tables?

[B]

It was old. That thing was from like. That thing was like 10 years ago and it was from Wayfair. And this was like whenever I was an alcoholic and so, so much had gotten spilled. What?

[A]

Yeah, new lore drop.

[B]

I. Yeah, I went to rehab and I've been sober for over three years. But congratulations. That's good. That's a big part of why my debt built up is because I was a raging alcoholic for 10 years and.

[A]

Yeah, but that's not why it hasn't been paid off in three years though. So I can have sympathy for the star, but.

[B]

Well, because I'm still paying for rehab.

[A]

What? Rehab was financed?

[B]

Well, no, no, no. My insurance didn't cover everything though.

[A]

How much do you owe to rehab?

[B]

Getting a bill?

[A]

Well, that's not this next credit card with hundreds in spending. So. No, we'll talk about that in a bit. But U.S. bank balance $8462.53. That is not rehab. Three years ago, your literal advances of $500 and your purchases of $373.20. Or not rehab. Hey, how long does this take to pay off minimum payments? Only without doing any purchases of which you are incapable of, by the way.

[B]

I think it was 14 years.

[A]

Yeah, it takes 14 years. $276 is your minimum monthly payment. Which when you get laid off. Good the luck because it sounds like you said you can't backtrack, so it sounds like you're not going to have it. When are they implementing this AI thing?

[B]

He said that he was hoping to have it like in place by the end of January. So that means like tomorrow whenever I get home, like I'm putting in a bunch of job applications.

[A]

Yeah, but that's. That's just the start. You got to curious your resume to all them. It's not just mass applying. You got to be hyper smart. And this is not a good job market like you said you needed to set yourself up for success.

[B]

I do have really good references though.

[A]

Okay. I mean, that could be a play if your resume makes it through the. You know, the AI screening like References is going to be one of the. That's not going to be a make or break for a bit.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

Not a kid trying to get a first job. You're not also trying to do like this massive advanced thing. You're at this very, very below mid level interest. Hundreds charging. Okay, let's see what's going on. It's all first of all, monthly carbon offset.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Are you.

[B]

That was. Are you. Whenever I was in one of my environmental classes in college.

[A]

When was that?

[B]

Oh God. I think dude, you're putting it on.

[A]

A credit card that you can't pay off that is accruing interest.

[B]

I think this is like 20.

[A]

This isn't your just free money or something. This is the bank's money.

[B]

So every single month that $5 comes out of my account. I have no clue what website it was.

[A]

So you were an alcoholic in college taken for money.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What the. Oh my gosh. Well doing of what a dream.

[B]

I. I worked like cancel this. I don't know how.

[A]

Well just tell your credit card not to charge that anymore. Challenge it. Say you're done.

[B]

You can't cancel bad.

[A]

No, just go plant a tree and it probably does more than this has ever done.

[B]

We'll see.

[A]

How much is this $5 really doing? I don't know.

[B]

It. This was like. It was like a whole calculator thing where you like put in where you live and like it like grades your like carbon usage and everything and then it.

[A]

You can select then it punishes you a fee. Like what?

[B]

This sounds like a scam Blue host and I felt bad. Oh yeah.

[A]

It's because you're the easy kind to absolutely trick into weird performative environmental things. Yeah, environmental can be good. What the is this though? This is. You're paying a fee. Yeah, that's the environmental. Go advocate for environmental things. Go support the products you like paying a fee just to feel good.

[B]

Some happens in multiple forms, Caleb. There isn't just one. Right.

[A]

This one is making someone money.

[B]

That is. Yeah, probably but.

[A]

Okay. Bluehost.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What's that?

[B]

I started a blog and then I stopped.

[A]

Yeah blogs very in on 2026. I. Yeah, you're paying for it.

[B]

I need to cancel it. I think I did. Maybe I canceled it. Nope. I. Okay.

[A]

I parking MJ Events concerts $110.

[B]

That was in My Chemical Romance concert.

[A]

Your concert? I don't give a.

[B]

It was my.

[A]

You're literally putting a thousand dollars of boobs that don't even need to be moved tickets but they're not. Because you had to pay for parking and there. And, and you still spent hundreds.

[B]

Yeah, but I didn't have to pay for the tickets that were like. Doesn't matter.

[A]

It was, it was like a free gift telling you to go spend more money.

[B]

Yeah, and I did.

[A]

Exactly. And that's. You just said you just had to put a down payment down on Klarna.

[B]

No, listen. Yes, I, Yes. When I, when I went to see them for their like first reunion tour back in like 2022 because they postponed it, I was like freshly sober, so I was withdrawing super bad. So I didn't remember the concert.

[A]

And so sorry, the, the, the tear jerk is not gonna. I don't give up. I wanted to go see them next time. I don't give a shit.

[B]

No, because I'm not gonna be able to afford tickets. These were free tickets. You can't afford. I.

[A]

So no, we can get you to the place where you can afford to. Hey, guess what? Exciting news, because I know we're filming this well before it comes out because our backlog is juicy. Thank you, Lindsey and Colton. But we proved that we can. We do an annual report every single time. The average guest who comes on financial audit pays off $22,807 of debt within 12 months. The median pays off $12,000 of debt in eight months. We can get you there. We can get you there. Proven method.

[B]

Okay, Proven method. Show me.

[A]

Well, I'm putting you through the master your money program. Okay, to be very clear, that's our net class, investing class, real estate class, budgeting class, recession class, job class, all the good classes. We're putting you through that in every future class you can join as well. You get the premium version of the dollar wise budgeting app with the master your money program. Caleb hammer.com for all that. So that's what they've done. They followed that path and they've done it. So you can do it too. But to say that you have to go spend money you don't have right now when you're financing a down payment on tits. And also, this is so stupid. Instead of saying you can't do it in the future, it's so stupid. I mean, you literally can.

[B]

I probably will still do it in the future, but I have to do it.

[A]

We can do it in the future, but you can't afford it. That's what's objective.

[B]

It was important.

[A]

No. And you're door dashing. Cha Ching. Cha King. China King. China King for $47.66.

[B]

The best Chinese food. And to be fair, any, like, food charges on there, I split with my partner.

[A]

Okay, that's not fair because that's still 25 bucks. Basically, you. That is an insane one. Klarna. She. Okay, so she puts things on her debt. Klarna. Then she pays for her Klarna debt with her credit card that accrues at a 28% interest rate of death that she can't pay off.

[B]

I can't do that.

[A]

Of course it does. What do you mean?

[B]

I thought it. I thought it could only come out of your. Oh, she's a checking account.

[A]

She's a beast. She's a creature. Oh, sorry. The horse of beast. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my goodness. Here's the actual reality. Her finances are.

[B]

Go ahead.

[A]

Finances are. So. You even know this is happening? No, the finances are so. Again, reminder. Thousand hours down payment on the titties. By the way, I will say once more, they are very nice. Like, everyone would be impressed.

[B]

They could be nicer.

[A]

Everyone would be impressed. You don't need that. You don't need that right now. But $1,000 down that she can't afford on Klarna, which then she pays with her credit card, while at the same time, on her checking account, she is. Oh, this is an impossible game. The pronouns are an impossible game. This human.

[B]

There you go. That works.

[A]

Is literally overdrafting on this person's checking account, and it's being charged via cash advance from this person's credit card of $150.

[B]

I immediately.

[A]

If I can call you. Dude, can I not just call you her and she. Just for the simplicity of this conversation so I don't have to think about it.

[B]

Can you, like, alternate?

[A]

Huh?

[B]

Can you like, alternate?

[A]

No, because I don't think when I'm talking about what someone is.

[B]

Fine, Caleb, we'll play by your rules.

[A]

Can we just go like sex, Right?

[B]

Sure.

[A]

We just do sex rules.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Just. Just for the sake of ease of the conversation. Thank you. I appreciate it. I will respect it. I do respect it, and I will do it. When I think about it. I just have a hard time thinking about it when I'm trying to think about numbers. Because the fact is, another number is this person then overdrafted again. $350 from the credit card doing cash.

[B]

Advance fees of my car payment came out.

[A]

Yeah, that happens.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

So that happens. It's a shock. No, no, no, no, no, no. Bl. My mind. Oh, my car payment. That always happens.

[B]

I had, like, $900 come out of my checking account at one time that.

[A]

You signed up for.

[B]

No, no, no, no, no, no. Because my card payment came out. My credit card payment came out.

[A]

Welcome to Bills. Welcome to Bills. Welcome to the consequences of the things you signed up for. You dumb.

[B]

Expecting my electric bill to come out and I forgot that my credit card was on auto.

[A]

Bank should always have enough money for your bills. Sure, if you're not spending money on Dumbass. Dumbass. Thousand dollars on tits and then putting it on your credit card. Moron. What are we doing? Miscellaneous bullshit alone was literally almost $600. And going out to eat was 200. Like, what are we doing off the.

[B]

Going out to eat?

[A]

Oh, of course you do. Let me see your inner lip. That's what she is.

[B]

C U N T. The C is worn off. I need to get it redone, but yeah, I was told it was your favorite word.

[A]

Oh, great word.

[B]

It's beautiful.

[A]

Four's becoming my new favorite word of the day.

[B]

Okay, good. For what it's worth, I'm glad I.

[A]

Opened you up to that interest.300 this year so far. The year's not even done at the time of filming this.

[B]

It's great.

[A]

It's crazy. And then fees, fees, fees. Cash advance. Cash advance. Cash events. Cash events.

[B]

I'm trying to be better.

[A]

No to the lady part, right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Confusing. Just confusing. It's confusing.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

To want to be called a guy but have cunt tattooed on you two.

[B]

You could call me an I mean, you're not an you are. But I am.

[A]

I am. You're not.

[B]

Okay. I mean, I'd rather be a than an I'm both. Yeah. At least that's the first step. Caleb is admitting it.

[A]

I know, I know. I'm an in this context, for sure. I don't give a U S. Bank.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Again.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

U.S. bank 2, I guess.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay, so 999.6 with a minimum dependent of 63. Oh, good purchase. $190.52 on a card that is agreeing. $22.60 in interest that takes two years to pay off that we can't pay off in one because we're also overdrafting like a dumb ass. What are we doing? What are we doing? Why are you purchasing on this cardio? What?

[B]

This was originally opened because I was going to do a balance transfer. How that works? A 0% interest without changing our behavior first. You want to know why? Whoa. You know why I did?

[A]

Because it didn't change your behavior first.

[B]

I didn't know that. You can't do a balance transfer if you're opening a. That's in the same, like, financial institution as the one you're trying to transfer over. I didn't know that that was the thing that you.

[A]

Why weren't you looking things up or talking to anyone?

[B]

I.

[A]

This day and age, where every resource is at our fingertips.

[B]

Through it all by my own. Like, I could have asked my grandma. My grandma could have probably told me that this was like, right before I got my car.

[A]

When was that?

[B]

Two years ago.

[A]

Then you had a boyfriend. Shut up.

[B]

I'm the one that got his credit score up.

[A]

How You're.

[B]

The thing is, like, I know how to do finances. Don't do it. Yeah, exactly.

[A]

Well, that's immature.

[B]

Well, I'm working on it.

[A]

No, that's what everyone says. Where's the working on it? You spent more than you made last month. Your debt's only going up. You're literally doing again $9,000 right there. You already put one down. You pay that minimum payment on a credit card while overdrafting when you're checking account because you can't manage bills to save your life. Working on it. Where's the working? I don't see working out. You working on it?

[B]

I don't even know what's on this card.

[A]

Huh?

[B]

I don't even know what's on.

[A]

I'll tell you. Some kind of Microsoft subscription going in and getting some vaping. She vapes.

[B]

I do.

[A]

Well, now. Any. Any sense. Any sense of, like, if you did have any attractiveness to anyone, it's out the door now. You nasty. What's wrong with you? You're. You're vaping. You're killing yourself. What are you doing?

[B]

Listen, I was an alcoholic for 10 years.

[A]

That's not good.

[B]

So.

[A]

So let's also kill ourselves in another way.

[B]

Let me have the. This is the one thing that I have.

[A]

Kayla, why don't you just be.

[B]

Not that it's so hard to quit.

[A]

It is. No, it objectively you did a harder addiction to quit, though.

[B]

However, I will say so.

[A]

You already proved to yourself you can.

[B]

You will like this. When I do get my boob job, I have to quit vaping.

[A]

Then just do it now.

[B]

I can't. I tried.

[A]

Well, then how will you be able to do it then?

[B]

So I actually was. I was quitting, and then.

[A]

Okay, but how will you be able to do it then?

[B]

About the boob job not happening at, you know, next month or. What?

[A]

Oh, no. The most stressful thing in our lives. I can't make my tits do that.

[B]

Right. Back to it.

[A]

Great. So how are you going to quit then?

[B]

Willpower. And okay, so it's not great.

[A]

So you're going to up everything just like you already have.

[B]

They have those little like detox pill things.

[A]

I have them do that now.

[B]

No, no, because I'm not quitting right now.

[A]

But you should.

[B]

Like. Yeah, but I'm.

[A]

For your life, for your budget, for your health, for making sure you're quitting before then anyway.

[B]

It's like an oral fixation. Like I. I switch to like the zero nicotine oral fixate on your boyfriend.

[A]

Trust me, I think he wants it since he's not getting anything else. Easy. Get yourself a stim toy, dude.

[B]

Yeah, I have weird creature women on.

[A]

You on the show like you on the show that have those.

[B]

I probably could use one. Yeah.

[A]

Okay. And then Apple bill. Apple bill?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Interest.

[B]

Charging like crazy fees.

[A]

You've had a late fee this year. Well. Nope. You've had a late fee this year. Let me do this again. You've had a leafy not paying on time.

[B]

Everything is on auto pay.

[A]

Okay. It doesn't matter. Just like your electricity bill was on auto pay. You didn't have enough money. If you do not have enough money in your account when this auto pay has. Especially since. I don't know. But it's been this year. 20, 25. Oh, open your phone. Then interest and auto pay. And it's. Listen, I'll let you use the fizz card.

[B]

I've had a late. A late payment fee one time.

[A]

Well, one time this year on that card.

[B]

That's crazy.

[A]

I'll let you use the fizz card. Debit card. That builds credit. A lot of people in the audience use it who have a hard time behavior. At least it's a tool you can use. No, that's not what we're looking at.

[B]

Just give me a second. Oh, okay. I was gonna. Now I'm mad.

[A]

Should be. You're a. Okay, those Apple bills. Let's see. Okay, we got Apple music.

[B]

Yeah. Have to.

[A]

Duolingo. What are you learning?

[B]

Spanish.

[A]

Why you're in St. Louis?

[B]

Well, I mean, because I feel like it's still important. I feel like why Spanish is the big.

[A]

You're in St. Louis.

[B]

I know, but I'm not going to stay in St. Louis.

[A]

If anything. Just learn. Learn jive. ICloud Plus.

[B]

Huh?

[A]

Yeah, that's fine. Wise. Make your home.

[B]

Those are my. That's my security cameras for the house. Because our house.

[A]

Okay. Duolingo. I don't know if you 100 need right now. I like duolingo. I just don't know.

[B]

It was accidental because I did like.

[A]

The free thing and then sleep cycle and pick. Collage. Pit collage. What is this?

[B]

Like, so I did.

[A]

It's like iPhone3 and then we've had duolingo. We've had Crunchyroll. That one just expired. Google Photos. We had. Oh, don't have it now.

[B]

I know I canceled it. I'm not paying for any, like, sorry, like streaming services. I hit the microphone. I was apologizing to it.

[A]

It's okay. Okay. I have a. Oh. Kia, Kia.

[B]

Kia.

[A]

Sportage hybrid.

[B]

Baby, her name is Spock.

[A]

I'm just surprised you're even with a guy. Can we get Aaron in here?

[B]

Yeah, absolutely. Are you going to lesbian score me?

[A]

Of course I am.

[B]

Okay. Yay.

[A]

Welcome, Aaron. Please come in. Our resident lesbian expert. Please come in. We need a lesbian financial score or a lesbian score to see if she is lesbian or not. This is not gonna take long.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

What kind of car do you drive?

[B]

Like, he is sportage hybrid. She's beautiful. How many pets do you own? 2. What are your pronouns? They, them and preferred. And I prefer like male terms like dude, bro, guy.

[A]

Interesting. Yeah, like an 11 lesbian financial score. 11 out of 10. She has a boyfriend in the other room. Yeah, that's what I. That's what I said. If you watch your lesbian score, see where you stand in the world of lesbianism. If you need to be more lesbian or less lesbian, go to caleb.com forward/lessee. Take the assessment. It's free. Takes a few minutes. It's a win win. You get money and I get money. These are called affiliates and you get that sweet, sweet cash. Signing up for some amazing products. The first one is Chime. This is a checking account that I personally use. And you get up to a 350 bonus with a new Chime checking account and earn up to 3.5% APY on your savings. And second, my investing app of choice these days is Webull. And get a 2% match on all of your money that you transfer over. And finally sign up for automated investing with acorns. Typically the sign up bonus is only 5 bucks, but with my link you get $20. Ladies and gents, you get money, I get money. Enjoy. Links are in the description below. Guys, just real quick, don't forget to take your Hammer Financial score@caleb hammer.com. see where you stand, where you got to do better, where you're doing. Listen, it just takes A few minutes and it is free. Figure out where you stand in the world ofmoney, Caleb hammer dot com.

[B]

I, I will say.

[A]

Why'd you settle with a guy?

[B]

I don't like most men.

[A]

Why'd you pick him?

[B]

He just kind of came to me. They just like gravitate towards me and then occasionally I like let them stay.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

But I do love BB no Money. He's my, my favorite.

[A]

I think he likes the show, if I'm not mistaken.

[B]

Hi.

[A]

I've texted him a few times. We've texted about him coming on the show a few times. Him and Young Gravy.

[B]

Because they're good friends. They're so fun.

[A]

That was like a year ago.

[B]

I've been like watching their stuff recently.

[A]

Okay, so on this Kia, you owe 29, $332.24.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, you met him in rehab. Isn't that like the opposite of what you're supposed to do?

[B]

Oh, isn't that like super bad?

[A]

You're not supposed to be for like a whole year, right?

[B]

Yeah, we met in rehab and then after about, I want to say maybe like three weeks of hanging out, we like went official. And then like two weeks after that, I made him move in.

[A]

Okay. What do you think this car's worth? And that's crazy. I'm surprised it's worth. Is he alcoholic too?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

So at least you guys can hold each other accountable now. But that was a risky situation you put in.

[B]

Like, like, we don't really, we don't have cravings. We don't really like think about drinking.

[A]

Good. But there's a lot of life.

[B]

No. 100. Yeah, they say like don't even think about getting into relationship until you're like a year in. I think I was eight months and six.

[A]

What do you think the car is worth?

[B]

I think whenever I checked it was 24.

[A]

Well, Edmonds has an appraisal report and Edmunds is the best, the most accurate value on the Internet. Much better than KBB and those other ones. So Edmund says 22 048.

[B]

Oh, wow. That was less than I thought.

[A]

So you're, you're dramatically underwater on a 10 interest rate of death.

[B]

Yeah, I know.

[A]

You're losing to the market in every way whatsoever.

[B]

I actually had to order my car because it was in such high demand that they don't have it.

[A]

High demand. Payments so low that this is going to take forever to pay off. 281.31. What is this like a 10 year term?

[B]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, my monthly payment is like 640something. But I'm like, I'm super, super, super ahead of paying it.

[A]

No, you're not ahead. You pay it by a little bit throughout the month.

[B]

No, no, no. I pay. I make two payments a month. Every two weeks I make a payment. But because of the payments that I make, it's like I don't like, right now I don't owe a payment for like a month.

[A]

Are you doing. You can't you. Dude, you just overdrafted. Why are you paying ahead on a car that is the most.

[B]

One of those. It's on auto pay, stupid. I just leave it.

[A]

Just auto pay. Minimum. What's the minimum? What's the minimum? What's the minimum?

[B]

6:40.

[A]

Okay, 640. That's the minimum. But I only doing that. No, you're only doing minimum. Yeah, you got credit cards that are accruing at like 28% that you're overdrafted in cash, advancing fund. This is so stupid.

[B]

Fine.

[A]

What is this? Any reason Any season id, personal loan, debt consolidation cash, which always works when we don't change our behavior. Go ahead. What? Tell me.

[B]

I had like five. I think it was like four or five credit cards that were all like super bad. So the reason that it got so bad was because I had a Jeep compass and it like shit out on me. Like, right before my 26th birthday, it was in the shop three times within the span of two weeks, I spent over $7,000 on it. So I needed a new car.

[A]

My gosh.

[B]

And that was the car that I consolidation reason I maxed out my Firestone. Rest of it ended up going.

[A]

It wasn't a tool that you were trying to use to actually like get taking care of your though your emergency in a situation that you're trying to find a way through.

[B]

Yeah, it was, but because it like cut all of my like 13% interest rates in half.

[A]

Yeah, at a 13% interest rate, you're making them a ton of money for sure.

[B]

Okay. But my car, like me putting seven grand into a 2015 Jeep Compass was not worth it. And so I like, it was just time to let her go. And then that was the one that I wanted.

[A]

I may have agreed with that you just weren't in the right place to do it because again, you're locked in at a 30% interest rate.

[B]

So this is where we ended up.

[A]

Well, your minimum payment is what I.

[B]

See the thing is I don't actually know what my minimum monthly payment.

[A]

I think it's like 350.

[B]

I think it's like 3:30, but I pay 450.

[A]

Stop. That makes no sense.

[B]

I don't. But the thing, I don't know what my actual minimum monthly payment is gone there.

[A]

And figure it out.

[B]

It doesn't say no.

[A]

You go on there and you just set up auto pay for minimum. You, what is wrong with you? Make a phone call. What is wrong with you?

[B]

But I like to pay every two weeks because if I, if I only do it like.

[A]

Stop. That doesn't make any sense. Go through our budgeting class, please.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And use the dollar wise app, please. You are. So if you are doing this weird budgeting technique that no one advises because you can't manage it, it's not working. You are overdrafting via your credit cards. If it was working, you wouldn't be doing that. So why follow something that is continually working to not work? Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. Why so stupid? I don't get them.

[B]

Convenience, Convenience.

[A]

Overdrafting is convenience.

[B]

Well, no, no, no. But like having it set up the way that it is and it's like I know every, every month, like Wednesday.

[A]

The boob job has to be in Florida.

[B]

So you have to get there. They gave me two options. There is one in Chicago. There's a surgeon in Chicago that they.

[A]

It's like a four hour drive or something.

[B]

But he's like 3,002 or 3,000 more. So that was the.

[A]

No matter what, we have to spend more because you have to get to Florida or spend a few thousand.

[B]

That's why I was saying it would have been perfect for me to do it at the end of the family vacation because we were already going. We were already going to be there.

[A]

You're working with a concierge plastic surgery company that you found on Google.

[B]

That's what bliss is.

[A]

What does that even mean?

[B]

So they like partner you up with reputable surgeons that are like, that have like specific certifications and blah blah, blah, blah or whatever. And then they give you like suggestions based off of like what exactly you're looking for. So because I was looking more towards like breast lift with like a slight augmentation. Those were the two doctors that they suggested me for because that's kind of like where they do their thing.

[A]

Okay. So that's like the biggest waste of money ever.

[B]

It makes so much more sense versus like going online.

[A]

Spending thousands we don't have, regardless. Does not make sense.

[B]

A plastic surgeon.

[A]

No, just getting this makes no sense. This is what I'm saying. But it right now, dude. $562.61 out on the synchrony care. Is this Care Credit? Care Credit. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Okay, so I originally.

[A]

Which is 30amonth paying off. 19 months.

[B]

So. Okay, it's the deferred percent interest right now.

[A]

Oh, baby. There is a 33% and that's owed in a couple. Oh, no, you're in a couple of months.

[B]

Yeah, so I am already planning on getting that paid off. It's like, like I've already.

[A]

Is that incorporated into your layoffs?

[B]

I've scheduled all my payments so that it'll be paid off before the interest hits. But I originally.

[A]

What is your required minimum monthly payment in order to pay it off in time?

[B]

Oh, God.

[A]

I mean, I can do the math.

[B]

I think it's like 1 10.

[A]

No, that doesn't make any sense. How's it 110?

[B]

When is it. Wait, When's the interest free over?

[A]

It'll be about. I would do 38 hours to be safe.

[B]

38?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, well, shit, then I need to go through and cancel my.

[A]

Yeah, see, you're broken. You're stupid. You don't know what you're doing. You're just doing things without looking.

[B]

I only had like, take a six month, zero percent interest.

[A]

March 2027.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

It is accruing at a 33 interest rate. It's going to be hundreds ahead if you don't pay it off.

[B]

Yeah, it's going to be paid.

[A]

I mean, I hope so. Are you incorporating your plan, your job getting laid off, which he pretty much told you is going to happen?

[B]

No.

[A]

Exactly. That's why you doing this. Adding any kind of risk, doing this right now when you do not need to is moronic because you have an actual ticking time bomb in many ways coming at you, and the biggest one being a layoff.

[B]

Caleb, we're not trying.

[A]

You cannot say trying. Shut the fuck up.

[B]

I've been looking at. I've got.

[A]

Maybe I'll look at your resume for.

[B]

An autism behavior specialist. That.

[A]

Why would they trust you?

[B]

Because I work with kids with autism.

[A]

You. But you're not licensed in that, are you?

[B]

No, no, no, but they. It's not. I am not like the official physician or anything. I'm there for like, care and advocacy.

[A]

Oh, you're just gonna be one of those enablement people, though. I can already tell.

[B]

Absolutely not. I do not let those kids get away with.

[A]

Firestone. So this is for the.

[B]

I don't use that.

[A]

Okay, well, you have a balance.

[B]

No, I. I Added the boyfriend on as an authorized user, and so I let him use it.

[A]

Makes balance.

[B]

Well, yeah, but I don't. I don't use.

[A]

It doesn't matter. It's under your credit. You.

[B]

Yeah, I know that.

[A]

And you said he's worse with finances than you, and you're already pretty particularly bad.

[B]

He.

[A]

So is he making the minimum payments?

[B]

Have any credit? Yeah, yeah. Cause that's what's set on auto pay for him to pay it.

[A]

Pay what?

[B]

I don't remember the balance, but I think it's set so that it, like.

[A]

The minimum or the whole thing? No, minimum is 29.

[B]

Not quite the minimum. It's a little over the minimum.

[A]

Okay, so minimum 29. This is Firestone.

[B]

Yeah, but that's not. Don't. That's not a me payment.

[A]

Okay. Yeah, I'll put it in print.

[B]

Okay, thank you.

[A]

But that's if he. What does he do for work?

[B]

He does sales for.

[A]

Well, sales is very up and down. So what if he can't?

[B]

It's like lawn care, and they do, like, holiday decorations.

[A]

Your biggest.

[B]

Fighting a lot of money.

[A]

Your biggest fight, you tit. Is that he didn't pay. That he didn't pay. Well, sales, by the way, can take.

[B]

Months before it comes up.

[A]

But also, it was literally, like, just a few weeks ago, you guys had a massive blow up, and you almost left him because he did not pay bills on time. So don't put this payment in column. You. What do you mean this just happened? What? You. You try to. You try to live way too positive for something that we just need to be objective. I'm not saying.

[B]

Nobody ever says that about me.

[A]

But you are about your finances. You are putting your head in the sand. Like this layoff you're not thinking about. Except this not how this works. People lose their houses every day. People go through bankruptcy every day. This is not how it works. People go hungry every day.

[B]

Yeah, my grandma actually used to get mad at me because, like, when I was in college, I would. No, I would just, like, not eat, and I would just pay my bills. And she was like, you need to eat. And I was like, yeah, but I have to pay bills first. And she hated that about me.

[A]

Oh, promo balance of 34. Oh. Oh.

[B]

When does that end? I don't actually look at these things. I just sent them your way two days ago. Oh, babe, you didn't give a.

[A]

Okay. The balance was small, which added. It's on your credit, you dumb.

[B]

Oh, what is wrong with you? I don't pay any Attention to it. Because like that's not me, but it's on your. Whoa.

[A]

This is so stupid. You owe this. If he does not pay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Or you're. Yeah, so what are you talking about? I swear, you're being so stupid for no reason. I'm so sorry. Oh, student loans. For what degree? In women's studies.

[B]

I got a BS in business Management.

[A]

Okay, didn't see that one coming.

[B]

Why? Because I have yellow hair?

[A]

Yes, correct.

[B]

I actually was gonna go into. I started with microbiology and then I hated it. Oh.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I.

[A]

You betcha.

[B]

Yeah, the lovely stack of student loans.

[A]

So did you graduated?

[B]

Yeah, June last year.

[A]

Okay. Student. Oh, June last year. So are your payments started?

[B]

I did set up my like payments. It's on the like pay as you earn or whatever type.

[A]

That's not great. That ramps hard.

[B]

No, my payment. $0. So I just don't.

[A]

No, it ramps hard.

[B]

Okay, well right now I don't have to pay anything, so.

[A]

No, you. Oh my gosh. You are not smart.

[B]

I don't understand how it works. Nobody. I. I mean I didn't ask.

[A]

The moment you file tax return and it shows, you start making money, that just goes.

[B]

I didn't ask questions about how you never do.

[A]

You never advocate for yourself in any way whatsoever.

[B]

I'm taking accountability. I didn't ask any questions about it. I just kind of like did it. And I was like, okay, well hopefully this is right.

[A]

Uh huh.

[B]

So what's bad about that?

[A]

What bad about that? The moment your tax return shows you start making some more money, they're gonna ramp those payments up.

[B]

I already set it up for the amount of money that I make.

[A]

Are you gonna make more at some point? I mean, what money do you say you make? Just your salary, not your extra 33% income. There it is. There's that smile. Uh huh. We all saw that. Shut the up. Do you even pay taxes on those?

[B]

No.

[A]

Well, irs, here they is.

[B]

No, I don't. Why would I? Because. No, because my tax money doesn't go towards anything that I actually support. So why would I pay.

[A]

The tax bracket you're in contributes less than like 1% to the overall taxes.

[B]

Okay, but that.

[A]

So you should still contribute because you're more of a taker than a giver.

[B]

How?

[A]

Well, because you probably get a tax refund.

[B]

No. Yes, I did. I have in the past, but not anymore.

[A]

Paying you for your student loans are at a zero dollar payment.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You're gonna take advantage of social things throughout your life. Social programs. Absolutely. Look at you.

[B]

I mean, I have.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

I grew up in poverty, so.

[A]

So you're taking more than a giver.

[B]

Well.

[A]

And now you're not willing to contribute back now that you're making money. What's wrong with you?

[B]

Not if the money's not. Actually, I'm forced to write checks for.

[A]

Millions of dollars a year. You say it doesn't. What do you mean? Social spending is by far the largest cut. Social spending is by far the largest percentages of spending in this country. Well, yeah. So you. No. Are you. Are you actually stupid or.

[B]

No.

[A]

Is this what your degree in? Well, actually. No. You got a real degree? So I'm confused.

[B]

I got a real degree.

[A]

I'm actually confused how you are a. That doesn't make any sense.

[B]

No, because like they're second largest category on all of the actual, like social services and stuff that our government offers, especially in the state of Missouri.

[A]

It's because we spend 20% more than we bring in and that's our largest category of spending.

[B]

What are you on? What are you looking at?

[A]

I'm telling you the percentages.

[B]

Okay, well, you can tell me the percentages, but I'm from Missouri, so that's the show me state, so you have to show me what you're talking about.

[A]

I'm going to show you the percentages. Okay, so Social Security, 23%, Medicare, some of the stuff you're talking about 14% Medicaid and other health things like you're talking about 12 to 13% net interest on debt. Why they want to cut spending because our debt keeps going up. Net interest on debt alone is 14% of our spending. Discretionary spending, national defense, below that at 13%. Non defense program discretionary, 8 to 9%. 20, 25 this year, mandatory spending, unemployment, SNAP, Social Security assistance, 7%. No, they're trying to cut the largest spending by far. Are you surprised? You kidding me? We've seen people abuse it on this show. You're not even paying your taxes. Who wouldn't know? They're.

[B]

I do pay my taxes. Just not that part.

[A]

Not 33.

[B]

Yeah, just not that part.

[A]

What is wrong with you?

[B]

I only. That's only during the school year. So it's only nine months out of. Out of the year. So it's not like as much as.

[A]

Or. What is wrong with you? 452 in your checking account. Oh, it's all.

[B]

Oh, no, sorry. Do you give a. I do. I just like, see, I do budget every week.

[A]

You spend more than you make every week.

[B]

On Sunday, I Go through my, like, checking account and I write down. I forgot to bring my planner.

[A]

You didn't even pay your taxes two years ago and Grandma had to bail you out.

[B]

I did pay my taxes. I didn't file them because I was having, like, a major mental health crisis. And so I.

[A]

Every five seconds of your life, apparently. Like, are you gonna make.

[B]

I was unmedicated for the majority of my life until, like, four years ago almost.

[A]

Okay, well, this was. Yeah, well, until four years ago. This was a couple years ago. This was two years ago.

[B]

Yeah, and that's what I'm saying. This was before I got sober.

[A]

No, you said medicated four years ago. Sober. You were. You've been sober for four years since.

[B]

No, since 2020. Since August 14th.

[A]

Yes. This was before then.

[B]

That's what I'm saying.

[A]

Or after then.

[B]

No, it wasn't. I didn't pay.

[A]

The date.

[B]

According to you, from the interview, 2021.

[A]

Taxes paid in 2022.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Okay, listen.

[B]

Am I saying test more potential?

[A]

But it's probably $2.26.

[B]

No, those are my crickets. Those are my crickets.

[A]

For what?

[B]

I have geckos, sheen, doordash. Which one from Hulu? I don't pay Good time.

[A]

Smoke.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Lake Recovery. There it is. $150. So $150. For how long? So this is a debt.

[B]

January is my last month of paying it.

[A]

Okay, then I'm not gonna put it down, but. Well, actually, that is something at the. No, it's this next one, so I'm not gonna put it down. Yeah, we just gotta keep it in the back of our head. Amazon, Amazon, Petco. Again. Hot Topic. Surprise, surprise. Pull up your Amazon doordash.

[B]

No, no, no, no.

[A]

Amazon, Amazon. That's groceries for 7.81.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Okay. Cryomia, Instant Ink. Hilton. Traveling. You. Scooters, Coffee. Portillo's.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[A]

That was Costco. McDonald's Exotic Vapors. We were in Levy. Petsmart again. Crickets. No, more that time. Kindle, Klarna. Go to the library. McDonald's. Totally. Tea, Panda Express. Amazon. Zoomies. Schnucks.

[B]

Schnucks.

[A]

Schnooks. Pull up your Amazon.

[B]

I did give. Here.

[A]

You got one thing in your cart. Let's see, what do we got? A picture frame. 11 by 14. Okay, well, this is coming out after Christmas and I won't tell. Socks. Screen protector fit. Sink spray attachment. Winter hat. Gloves. Those are. Okay.

[B]

Thermal shirts right now.

[A]

Maxi feminine pads.

[B]

Those are for my mom.

[A]

That's. Oh, okay.

[B]

I was gonna say I ordered them for her because she doesn't have it.

[A]

So we know you don't got one.

[B]

I don't. I don't have.

[A]

What, you're moving over to vagina land?

[B]

No, I'm keeping my vagina.

[A]

You are?

[B]

I just wish I didn't have a uterus because my I. My gynecologist doesn't want to do that because of the hormone replacement because I'd have to be on estrogen for the rest of my life.

[A]

And we know you don't want that.

[B]

No.

[A]

Okay. Drying lotion. That's an odd. What is that?

[B]

Oh, that's for my pimples.

[A]

Sheer tides. Brightening, clearing stuff. Wispy lash clusters. More lash bonds. Boom. Nutrition. Superfood greens.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

No nose rings. Great.

[B]

Those are for him. Do you. Do I see. Huh.

[A]

Is he gay?

[B]

No, unfortunately.

[A]

Is he bi?

[B]

No, unfortunately. Yeah.

[A]

Doesn't make sense. No.

[B]

I call him straight adjacent though, because I'm non binary so he can't use.

[A]

Pal letteric things and. Okay. There's a lot of bullshit in here. A lot of things you don't need and then some things that are okay. Like all this shit on curtains for days. Comforter sets and lots of screen protectors and eyeglasses. We don't really need it.

[B]

That's not me breaking his.

[A]

What?

[B]

His screen protectors?

[A]

What is wrong with him?

[B]

I don't know. He drops his phone all the time.

[A]

All right, let's budget.

[B]

Okay. Oh. I don't even think he saw my savings account.

[A]

Where is it?

[B]

Well, it's gone now, but okay.

[A]

Well. What the.

[B]

I used it to that. That lovely credit card. That's like 8,000. I put it towards that.

[A]

Okay, well, I wouldn't do that until you change your behavior.

[B]

Because I wanted my boob job so I was going to pay that off so that I could put my boobs on there.

[A]

No, there's actually more than that. 2000 hours dropped on a PC just to play Sims. We'll talk more about that in the post show. Hold it.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Because we're about to go into that, but okay. I'm going to save $4,000 as your incomes get you a minimum payments outside of that 150 you owe for the rehab because that's about to leave in a month. Just keep it in the back of your head. And taking away his $29 payment. Student loans are zero for now. They'll ramp up actual purchase taxes. We'll see. Minimum two payments in which you need. Required to pay off the Care card before that accrues $1,580. Okay. Your portion of rent, how much?

[B]

725.

[A]

Utilities including Internet, roughly 200. Gas? Vroom, vroom. Drive, drive.

[B]

Zero.

[A]

Oh, because grandma. Car insurance?

[B]

170.

[A]

Phone bill.

[B]

73.

[A]

It's pretty good. If you want to get a lower and T mobile's getting in your area, I would do.

[B]

I have the up anytime you want plans. So I get the new iPhone every year.

[A]

Okay. 300 to the groceries. That's what you can contribute. Use the meal plan, use the cookbook. You get it all. TP fund anything else you need to survive. 150. You need a little extra help. Okay, so okay, medical, health care, co pays on a monthly basis. Medications, all that good stuff.

[B]

Medicines are 80. My psychiatrist is 75.

[A]

Per session or per month?

[B]

Per month. And I would toss on another 75 just cuz I'm seeing an ENT right now about getting a septoplasty for my septum.

[A]

Yeah, you got a small nose.

[B]

Yeah, it. I'm narrow.

[A]

230 for medical. Do you have a gym?

[B]

17.

[A]

Okay. What. What pets do you have?

[B]

I have two dogs. Yes, they have pet insurance.

[A]

How much?

[B]

It averages.

[A]

What's your pet insurance across the board?

[B]

80. Because we split it.

[A]

Okay. 80 bucks. Subscriptions. I'll try to put in about 40. Anything else I actually don't have.

[B]

I canceled all my subscriptions except. Except for my music and my.

[A]

Exactly. So there you go.

[B]

Okay. Whatever.

[A]

Anything else that needs to be in the budget that I have not taken into account.

[B]

Dog food.

[A]

Yes. How much for pet food?

[B]

I would toss in another. I would just say like 250 for pets altogether. Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Okay. I'll cross up.

[B]

It's easier for me to like calculate it that way.

[A]

Well, but that's not how you're supposed to do it, but. Well, for the sake of getting this thing wrapped up and I think.

[B]

I think, I think that's it.

[A]

Okay. Yeah. So $3,735 if you make 4,000 hours a month, which by the way, you only you made less than that this last month, so. No, you made 11 hours more across both of your jobs without setting aside money for taxes. You made $11 more than you brought than you needed to survive. And that's not including your $150 that needs to go to the rehab. So off.

[B]

And that's why I use my credit card.

[A]

So $265 is what's needed to survive. Listen, in order to pay off all this debt or that's what you have left over in order to pay off the set. 74, 42383 divided by 265, it takes 280 months to pay off or 23 years. So that doesn't make any sense. This is the reality one, you guys might want to downgrade your living situation the best you can. Next. Oh, and you just need to get a new job. We need to just get into a better paying job. Even getting to $50,000 is a big game changer. So get up to 55, start moving up to 65. You know that you're not going to get that right away. Hopefully get you from a place where you are now to 55. So your, your full time job is to get a better job. So we can funnel all this extra money to pay off the debt. Because we could probably take care of this debt. Student loans, minimum payments until they're paid off, that's fine. But we could pay off the rest of the debt in a few years. In a couple years. Get a fully funded emergency fund and then get your tits. Do not do them now. You're gonna lose a thousand. This doesn't make sense now. It's not in the strategy. And again, they're good, they're nice, we like them, they're fine.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I'm sure he does too. Has he ever said anything?

[B]

No. He actually is very against the idea of me getting a boob job.

[A]

Listen, you guys will never see them. You have not seen them. Well I hope they don't see them cause I don't want you to start the off again. But they are actually very nice. I understand why he's saying that. You're just doing it for you. Yeah, don't until you want, until you can, which is in a few years. But go focus on a better paying job right now. That can be a reward after paying off all your bad debt and getting a fully funded emergency fund.

[B]

I do like rewards.

[A]

So there you go. Save that, save that. That's the game plan. Let me give the hammer. Financial score. Then we're going to go into the post show. We're going to bring the boyfriend in, look at the resume, talk about this 2000 hour game PC.

[B]

I guess I don't. I do have that.

[A]

Yeah, exactly. You probably have it.

[B]

I think I have it.

[A]

And we'll figure out. I'm sure there's drama between them. I'll find some text messages. Spending in a budget, you overspent. 0:10 debt, no collections. It's not great for your income. The key is Certainly underwater. Not the worst of the worst of the worst. Well, actually, you're overdrafting via your credit card. Two out of ten. I'll do, though. Emergency fund. There was nothing in savings. You just drained it. 0 out of 10. Retirement. What was the total? 5. 5,000.

[B]

Oh, my investments. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. About a 2 out of 10 for your age. I didn't realize Hammer Financial Score rounded up to one. One out of ten.

[B]

Oh, damn.

[A]

Ladies and gentlemen, click that join button. Three premium shows posted every single day, Monday through Saturday, six days a week. Now upgraded. Best membership number one on YouTube for a reason. It's gonna be a great extra 20 minutes. I'll see you there.

[B]

I have a little tidbit that I didn't share with you.

[A]

The thing we know. No. Oh. Oh. I don't even know.

[B]

So you know how we talked about how we had that big issue with, like, paying utilities to me on time?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

So I actually audio recorded that conversation that we had.

[A]

Hammer Elite is the best YouTube membership on the platform. And I just upgraded it. New dedicated premium. Premium shows every single day, Monday through Friday.

[B]

Join with the link in the pinned comment or description below.

[A]

This is the best membership you'll ever.

[B]

Join, and that's a promise.

[A]

New Year, new me.

[B]

Cute.

[A]

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[B]

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