Affair Exposed On Financial Audit

Summary

Financial Audit Podcast – "Affair Exposed On Financial Audit"

Host: Caleb Hammer
Guests: Chelsea (20, college student/lab tech) & Mike (23, welder’s helper)
Date: June 3, 2026

Episode Theme Overview

In this charged and unfiltered episode, Caleb Hammer sits down with Chelsea and Mike—a young couple from Gainesville, Texas—for what begins as a standard financial audit but swiftly unravels into an explosive exploration of trust, infidelity (emotional and digital), entitlement, addiction, and the deep fractures beneath their relationship’s surface. Amid revealing admissions and sharp banter, financial problems take a backseat to the couple's emotional baggage, unveiling a tangled web of dishonesty, jealousy, insecurity, and boundary violations. This episode is an intimate, at times uncomfortable, behind-the-scenes look at what financial (and relationship) dysfunction really looks like.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Origins of the Relationship & Early Dynamics

• Timeline: The couple’s relationship began when Chelsea was 18 and Mike was 20, after years of knowing each other since Chelsea was 15.
• Mike initially rebuffed romantic advances due to age difference and “grooming” jokes from Caleb, to which Mike firmly responded he waited until Chelsea was 18 [02:07].
• They rapidly became financially intertwined, splitting expenses 50/50 while still in late teens [16:02].

2. Marriage, Trust, & Relational Anxiety

• Chelsea presses for marriage, seeing it as the step to cement their bond and banish her fear of abandonment. Mike is hesitant, concerned Chelsea would want a child immediately and her financial immaturity [03:07, 03:47].
  • Quote [06:02]: Chelsea: "I can't wait forever. I'm 20."
    Caleb: "Yeah, and also you're 20. So it won't be forever a few years from now."
• Chelsea’s past infidelity, deep insecurities, and obsessive behavior (e.g., monitoring Mike via workplace security cameras) have bred mistrust [08:27–09:41].
  • Quote [08:27]: Caleb: "No, you have something wrong with you... You're obsessed with him. You're watching all the security cameras... It's your own securities. Because you're a cheater."

3. Sex Life, Pornography, and Boundary Crossings

• Their sex life "deteriorated"—now at about once a month [20:45]. Chelsea sets a hard rule against porn and OnlyFans, considering it cheating [20:21, 26:13].
• Caleb exposes recurring OnlyFans payments in Mike’s accounts, against explicit couple boundaries, with multiple subscriptions in 2026 [21:03, 25:03–25:54].
  • Memorable moment [21:03]: Chelsea, shocked: "Are you for real?"
  • Quote [25:22]: Caleb: "You objectively are. They're right here. You can see them."
  • Quote [25:53]: Caleb: "...he had a porn addiction in the past. And now he's literally paying for multiple OnlyFans a month."
• Mike admits to frequent porn use (at times 3x a day when alone) [32:29]. Chelsea is devastated and “shocked,” calls it cheating, but Caleb points out her pattern: “But you’re never gonna leave, are you? ...you don’t care.” [33:35]
• Caleb contextualizes: “If you’re not having sex, that he should be able to...” [35:56].
• Tensions spike as Chelsea processes betrayal; joking but dark references to Mike being kicked out, and intimate details about failed communication around sex.

4. Money Issues: Debt, Entitlement, and Avoidance

• Mike alone holds substantial debts—credit cards, Affirm (buy now/pay later), a high-interest (>28%) personal loan, and collections [62:00, 77:23].
  • Quote [62:12]: Caleb: "You're just getting tools and ripping packs and being the reason I got... Okay, fine."
  • Quote [65:46]: Caleb: "You're marrying a poor. Your dad's gonna be very disappointed. I don't think he cares about the Cuban thing. I think he cares that you're poor."
• Chelsea is largely debt-free due to parental intervention (parents bought her a house), but lacks financial maturity and feels little urgency or stress about debt [12:06, 52:07–52:07].
  • Memorable moment [12:03]: Caleb: "You're a cheater and a spoiled bitch."
  • Quote [66:48]: Mike: "Because if you ask your dad for 500, you probably give it to you. Am I right? Because who do I have?"
• Caleb points out Chelsea’s family’s wealth and her lack of basic financial knowledge or responsibility; Chelsea shrugs it off: “I do pay it off sometimes.” [72:25]
• Both spend heavily and impulsively on food, travel, and consumer goods; neither seems particularly inclined to budget for the future [82:26–84:30].

5. Communication & Dysfunctional Patterns

• Any talk of finances, the household, or Mike’s debt gives Chelsea “anxiety”—she shuts down, saying her “stomach hurts,” refusing to engage [17:07–17:49].
• Mike withholds details about his purchases from Chelsea (“If I want something, I just get it”), further deepening suspicion [18:38].
• Caleb observes: “You don’t get to just walk away from everything when you feel just slightly uncomfortable...” [17:59].
• Mike’s repeated offers for couples therapy were always declined by Chelsea until publicly called out; she agrees reluctantly, primarily due to shame/exposure [45:27–46:09].
  • Quote [45:31]: Chelsea: "I just don't want to talk about it. Let's not bring it up again..."
  • Quote [46:09]: Caleb: "You were going to. I brought it up."
  • Quote [46:44]: Mike: "Kept it a secret for the rest of our lives."

6. Dysfunctional Family Ties & Cultural Rifts

• Parental involvement is omnipresent, particularly on Chelsea’s side; her father bought their house, covers emergencies, and exerts approval pressure [12:03, 39:13].
• Mike expresses wanting independence, owning things “of his own,” but feels his contributions are always superseded by her family’s [13:16].
• There’s tension regarding cultural differences—Mike is Cuban-American, Chelsea is white, and her father resists the match partially on ethnic/cultural grounds [39:30].

7. Lifestyle, Employment & Financial Audit ‘Scores’

• Chelsea: 32 hours/week as a lab tech ($17/hr); also cleaning her dad’s office for extra cash; studying to be a teacher [50:13, 51:53].
• Mike: Welder/helper and rideshare income; aims for $4,500/month gross [51:00].
• Out-of-control cost of living: high rent, unnecessary travel (e.g., $2,000+ on Austin trips), eating out, and impulse buys [53:08, 81:02].
• Final financial assessment: Caleb is blunt—“Hammer financial score, 0 out of 10. Go [expletive] yourself. No savings. 0. No retirement. 0. Who’s on the house title? Just the dad, not you.” [91:20–91:58]

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Memorable Quotes & Major Moments (w/ Timestamps)

• Marriage pressure:
  • Chelsea: "I can't wait forever. I'm 20." [06:02]
• Parental safety nets:
  • Caleb to Chelsea: "That's why you don't have debt or anything. Cause you're spoiled from the parents." [12:06]
• Financial immaturity:
  • Caleb: “You spend your money like it's no care in the world.” [18:09]
  • Chelsea: “Any time you talk about finances... my stomach hurts.” [17:37]
• Sex and deceit:
  • Chelsea, on porn: “That's cheating.” [20:21]
  • Mike: “I did cancel right before you came on the show, which is what everyone does. Dude, you got caught.” [28:28]
  • Caleb: “...he's legitimately treating it like a joke.” [27:02]
• Relationship boundaries & control:
  • Caleb: "You don’t get to just walk away from everything when you feel just slightly uncomfortable, though." [17:59]
  • On Mike getting locked out for seeing friends: [31:01–31:39]
• Dysfunctional dynamics:
  • Caleb: “She’ll never leave. She thinks she cares about that. She’ll never...” [57:02]
  • Mike: “She can kick me out. She has all the power.” [37:53]
• Parental/financial dependency:
  • Mike: “Who do I have to support me? Not you...” [66:06]
  • Chelsea: “I want my dad to be around forever.” [66:47]
• Therapy resistance:
  • Caleb: “Did she straight up say no to going to couples therapy?”
    Mike: “Yes.” [45:26]
• Podcast climax:
  • Mike, at last: “Kept it a secret for the rest of our lives.” [46:44]

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Major Segment Timestamps

• Relationship origins and dysfunction: 01:23–10:00
• Trust issues, jealousy, and parental influence: 07:40–14:10
• Sex life, porn, boundary-breaking revelations: 20:00–33:32
• Mike’s financial situation and OnlyFans exposure: 25:03–28:39
• Therapy, communication shutdowns: 45:13–48:47
• Deep-dive into debts & financial audit: 62:12–80:53
• Final financial reckoning & relationship prognosis: 91:20–end

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Tone & Style

• Language: Blunt, combative, irreverent; heavy use of humor, curses, and sarcasm in the Caleb Hammer style.
• Atmosphere: Tense, often confrontational but laced with dark humor and self-deprecating jokes, keeping difficult calls accessible and entertaining.

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Conclusion & Key Takeaways

• Chelsea and Mike’s relationship is marked by insecurity, dysfunction, and lack of financial maturity.
• Both avoid responsibility: Chelsea through parental handouts and emotional avoidance; Mike through secrecy, spending, and poor communication.
• Trust repeatedly broken: Despite explicit boundaries about pornography and infidelity, Mike ignores them and keeps secrets.
• Neither adjust their behavior: Despite being publicly exposed and given tools, both seem unsure or unwilling to alter course meaningfully.
• Caleb's Final Judgement:
  • “Hammer financial score, 0 out of 10. Go [expletive] yourself. No savings. 0. No retirement.”
  • The only way forward—if any—is honest communication, therapy, and a hard reset, neither of which seems likely.
• Spectacular cautionary tale for young couples: Love without boundaries, communication, and financial responsibility leads straight into chaos.

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For the full, raw emotional journey—including the post-show call with Chelsea’s dad and even more brutal honesty—catch the premium Hammer Elite content!

Transcript

[Caleb Hammer]

To watch episodes of Financial Audit a week earlier. Check us out on YouTube. You want him to lock you down because you have an extreme anxiety about him leaving you. You're watching all the security cameras, constantly at his job, making sure he's not talking to anyone, not flirting with anyone. He didn't know, though it's still batshit insane. How's the sex life? Okay, well, that's interesting. In his checking account, he's actually purchasing. Only you said. That's cheating.

[Chelsea]

That is cheating.

[Caleb Hammer]

He actually won't have sex with you. Even he was subscribed to two individual ones.

[Chelsea]

Why?

[Mike]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[Caleb Hammer]

You objectively are. They're right here. You can see them. Wash, wash, wash. Oh, my goodness. Watch, watch, watch.

[Mike]

If you scroll.

[Caleb Hammer]

Get out of here.

[Chelsea]

Let him talk. Let him call you.

[Caleb Hammer]

What?

[Chelsea]

That's gross.

[Caleb Hammer]

June 1st, I'm launching the Hammer Elite app, available on every major platform. Join the wait list by using the link in the description or pinned comment down below to get a never before seen financial audit video and then an exclusive offer just for you. You'll get lifetime access to the ENT and our Hammer for Lifebox, packed with limited edition merch. So mark your calendar. June 1st. This is the best membership you'll ever join, and that is a promise.

[Chelsea]

Hello, I'm Chelsea and I'm 20 years old.

[Mike]

I'm Mike. I'm 23 years old.

[Chelsea]

We're from Gainesville, Texas, and this is Financial Audit.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why won't you marry this woman? Well, why won't you marry this woman? I know, that's why the. You're here. You're not marrying her.

[Mike]

So I feel like our finances has been a big part of our relationship since I've met her. I've been taking care of her since she's left her dad's house and everything.

[Caleb Hammer]

When was that? She's 20.

[Mike]

So when were you taking care of her? So we first met at a July 4th party, and she was 18, and she had a boyfriend and everything. And that night we were just hanging out. She was drunk, I was sober, and I. I heard that she's saying that

[Caleb Hammer]

you guys are, like, literally. Why'd you start this by line? You guys met when she was 15.

[Mike]

Oh, yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well. Oh.

[Mike]

Oh, yeah. Well, well, well, well, well. Wait, wait.

[Caleb Hammer]

That's right.

[Chelsea]

I tried first.

[Caleb Hammer]

She.

[Mike]

She wanted my Snapchat, and I was 18. I was 18.

[Caleb Hammer]

I know.

[Mike]

I was 18. I was like, no, no, please. 15 year old.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah.

[Chelsea]

Yeah, but you waited.

[Mike]

She had, like, braces and she was

[Caleb Hammer]

like, you know, he said no.

[Mike]

Yeah, I said no. Okay?

[Chelsea]

He wouldn't give me his number, his Snapchat.

[Mike]

But my brother.

[Chelsea]

Did I date his brother.

[Mike]

They kissed.

[Caleb Hammer]

What's your brother?

[Mike]

He's a year. He's 11 months younger than me. A year?

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, so who said. Well, okay, that's high school bullshit. I don't care about high school bullshit. You kissed his brother. Okay, so you groomed her, waiting for her to turn 18, per se.

[Mike]

But, you know, we're here now.

[Caleb Hammer]

I mean, you're here now, and she wants you to pop the ring, pop the question. And yet you won't. And I know it ties back to how everything is completely. Yeah, but she badges you constantly about wanting to get married. Why are you actually waiting so long? What is happening?

[Mike]

Well, it's because I feel like in a place we are right now, if we do get married, she would instantly want a child, and I can't afford to support.

[Chelsea]

I never said that.

[Mike]

No, no, you have.

[Chelsea]

No.

[Mike]

You've had baby fever for a while now.

[Chelsea]

But I wouldn't have a baby as soon as we got married. And why would it matter? We would be married.

[Mike]

I mean, I feel like baby would be the next step, and you would always want to do more, like steps by step in our relationship.

[Chelsea]

You didn't answer why you didn't want to get married.

[Mike]

Yeah, our finances.

[Chelsea]

You said a lot, but nothing you

[Caleb Hammer]

said about the baby. She's like. She's okay with not getting the baby immediately.

[Mike]

Well, I feel like she says that now, but once we do get married, I feel like that's the next step. And the reason I feel like the finances are such a big thing in my decision to not like, pop the question is because I feel like she doesn't understand anything with money.

[Chelsea]

But in a marriage, you work together

[Mike]

to understand, but you don't understand it like a. Worth of the dollar, maybe.

[Caleb Hammer]

I mean, do you. I don't know. Whose debt is this? Is it all hers?

[Mike]

It's all mine.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, so it's okay, it's all yours then. Is it her lack of understanding the value of a dollar? Maybe? She's 20. She's likely not gonna. I mean, especially, I mean, young people today. Apparently, it's like your children until 25. I don't know. That's what women say.

[Chelsea]

Yeah, I think that's true.

[Caleb Hammer]

For some reason. We let you.

[Chelsea]

That's what FAFSA says.

[Mike]

That's what does fast.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, we let you vote at 18, serve in the military, drive at 16, and. Well, but okay, you can't decide if you're able to get a go on a date with someone to 19, but yep, you're a child until 25. Yes, of course. So okay, maybe, maybe there's some truth to that. Not really, but even still, maybe she's more financially immature. She hasn't. Are you in college? What are you doing?

[Chelsea]

I am in college.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, there you go. So she hasn't really been an adult yet. Cuz it's still like a playground. College is like a playground. It's like, it's not much. There's really no real world experience at all.

[Mike]

I feel like the only reason she wants to get married is cause she sees her cousins want to get married and that's literally the only reason.

[Caleb Hammer]

You're dressing like you're inbred. Butt us her with the camo and all that shit. You're in Dallas. I don't know what the heck you're doing.

[Chelsea]

Well, my cousin's younger than us and she got married and she's having a baby.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, so it is the baby thing. You want to get baby. Cause I know. Cause this might actually ruin your relationship because you cornered him at a baby shower while he was drunk and you were just badgering, badgering him, badgering him.

[Mike]

Oh dude.

[Caleb Hammer]

You sent him cheap wedding rings constantly on a daily basis. You saw someone at the baby shower get engaged and you completely lost your shit, bro.

[Mike]

Like literally two nights ago she was like, I can't do four years of this. I can't do four years.

[Chelsea]

I can't wait forever. I'm 20. Yeah, and I'm.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, and also you're 20. So like it won't be forever a few years from now. The thing is like hey, if you feel she's the one, yeah, sure. Just wrap it up. Yeah, I do get married, but also I do want to get married. Peter. Wait a second. Like how long. So how long have you guys been together?

[Chelsea]

Three years.

[Caleb Hammer]

See that also doesn't line up with the 20 year old age. Just going to let you know, but

[Mike]

she's about to turn 21 like next month. Uh huh.

[Caleb Hammer]

We've been together for three years. You think I give a shit if a 19 year old was a 17 year old? Like who gives a shit? It doesn't.

[Mike]

Well, you guys, the thing is she also had a boyfriend at Twitter.

[Caleb Hammer]

This is a. Yeah, I stole her.

[Mike]

I stole her.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, okay. She cheated on him.

[Chelsea]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

You cheated on your boyfriend? I did.

[Chelsea]

Well, I don't like to say that out loud, but you Did.

[Caleb Hammer]

It happened.

[Chelsea]

I did.

[Caleb Hammer]

You did. Hopefully it doesn't happen again.

[Mike]

No, it won't. No, it won't.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well. What? You were 17, right? So you were 17 and. I don't know. It's like a high school cheat. It's like barely even real life. I don't really know.

[Chelsea]

When he went to the military, he left. Left.

[Caleb Hammer]

So, okay, so you're a.

[Mike]

Yes. Yes.

[Caleb Hammer]

I sent a letter saying I'm breaking up with you.

[Mike]

I wrote.

[Caleb Hammer]

But did he. You. Before you broke up with him?

[Chelsea]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

See?

[Mike]

Multiple times.

[Caleb Hammer]

Huh. So you're a.

[Chelsea]

No. I don't think so.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, what's your fear? Because you left the guy. Here's what I have from the notes. You left the guy. You cheated on him because you're a. But the thing is, you want him to lock you down because you have an extreme constant anxiety about him leaving you.

[Mike]

So.

[Caleb Hammer]

So you think if you go ahead and get married, he can't leave you. Just because you were a horrible bitch to someone doesn't mean he's going to be a bitch to you. Just because you're a. Doesn't mean he will. Have you ever cheated on someone?

[Mike]

No, bro.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, See? Doesn't mean he'll be.

[Mike]

But the thing is, like, I feel like he wanted to marry you. Like, he wanted to get all those benefits of, like, marrying someone. So you guys were gonna get married and stuff, and then I came along and you were like, I want to be with him instead.

[Chelsea]

Yeah.

[Mike]

And ever since then, you've been on this, like, marriage crusade.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, she's afraid. She's literally afraid of you leaving. Like, actually afraid of you leaving. And, I mean, I would personally actually be afraid of marrying this, which is you. I mean, that's actually what I would be afraid of.

[Chelsea]

And I'm okay with marrying that, but she.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, it's because. No, you have something wrong with you.

[Mike]

Yes.

[Chelsea]

What?

[Caleb Hammer]

No. You're obsessed with him. You build on that. Dude. You're obsessed with him. You're watching all the security cameras. You constantly. At his job when you first started dating, watching. Making sure he's not talking to anyone, not flirting with anyone. Because it's your own securities. Because you're a cheater. Because you're a cheater. You think he's going to leave because you're a cheater. You think he's going to cheat.

[Mike]

Yeah, that's. That's one of the things. I feel like there hasn't been a line of trust with her. She doesn't really trust me fully, and I feel like it just stems from her mother in a way. Because her mother like did some bad to her when she.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, she's a cheater. She cheated, buddy. She lost her shit when he. When she saw you be too friendly with a coworker.

[Chelsea]

Cuz I didn't want people to think that they were dating.

[Caleb Hammer]

He's friendly with a coworker. He was picking her up.

[Chelsea]

He was picking her up.

[Mike]

Okay, like. Okay, like I get it.

[Chelsea]

Picking up, chasing her, recording her, Pulling her hair.

[Caleb Hammer]

Hold on.

[Mike]

Actually, maybe that's pulling her hair is kind of crazy.

[Chelsea]

He will pull her hair.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, if you are, that is actually a little fucking right.

[Chelsea]

I didn't want people to think that.

[Mike]

But why are you watching the cameras?

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, that's also insane by the way. Bat shit insane.

[Chelsea]

Well, my aunt let me. She'd be like. Here, you can watch him.

[Caleb Hammer]

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[Chelsea]

He didn't know though.

[Caleb Hammer]

Because you're a cheater. You think he's going to cheat? Yeah.

[Mike]

Why don't you trust me?

[Chelsea]

I do trust you. That's right. No, no, no.

[Caleb Hammer]

She's afraid of you leaving. It's not that she doesn't trust you. She's terrified of you leaving. Finding someone better. Someone not sewing shit.

[Mike]

I mean, I love her.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, that was a cope laugh if I've ever heard it. I mean, why do you say that?

[Chelsea]

Because every time we talk about breaking up, he, like, cries. Like, gets on his hands and knees and he cries, don't leave me gay.

[Mike]

No, it's not. It's not that.

[Caleb Hammer]

What's wrong with being gay?

[Mike]

No, I have problems with the gays. Okay. It's just I feel like she doesn't understand that every argument we have, it ends up with her saying, this is my house. This is my house.

[Caleb Hammer]

She says this?

[Mike]

Yes, it's your house.

[Caleb Hammer]

You own a house?

[Chelsea]

No, my dad bought it for me. So technically it is my house.

[Caleb Hammer]

You're a cheater and a spoiled bitch.

[Chelsea]

It is my house.

[Caleb Hammer]

This is why you don't have debt or anything. Cause you're spoiled from the parents. Oh, what college do you go to?

[Chelsea]

Nctc. It's a community college.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, nevermind. Okay.

[Chelsea]

And I pay for it.

[Mike]

Well, you have a loan. You have a loan.

[Chelsea]

No, I had a loan.

[Caleb Hammer]

Had you pay for it. But that kind of works like that. When your parents have bought you everything and you have no overhaul. Yeah, that's easy to do.

[Chelsea]

That's what your parents are supposed to do, help you.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah. Not buy you a house. It's cool that they can, but you also haven't Learned anything by 20. And that was one of his big fears.

[Mike]

Well, I feel like the way it happened is because our apartment was way too expensive and you were like, kind of like crying about it. Be like, hey, they're raising our rent and stuff like that. And they're like, oh, let's help you out. Let's buy you a house.

[Chelsea]

Well, my parents, we were at a Christmas party and they were drinking and I asked them, so they drunkenly told

[Caleb Hammer]

me, yes, dude, you're on the phone with Lindsay literally bragging like crazy that you use your parents like an atm. Bragging? That's not a joke. That's not a joke.

[Chelsea]

I love my dad. And he helps.

[Caleb Hammer]

That's who you want to be with. Someone that's gonna sleep for him too.

[Mike]

No, the thing.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, but she's gonna, like, just endlessly be draining money from you forever.

[Mike]

I feel like the reason your dad helps me is because he's doing it for you. And I feel like that's something that I want to like, have things of my own and things that you can't say. It's yours only and it's your truck and stuff like that. Because he was gonna put the title of my truck in your name because he was scared that I would take the car away from you if we ever did break up. That I paid for all out.

[Chelsea]

No, I pay for the car.

[Mike]

No, I paid for the truck. Like all of it.

[Chelsea]

He wanted to put the truck in my name even though he paid for it. Cause it was my bad truck.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, Okay. I don't know. So listen, I mean I get. No, actually not. Not. You guys have been together so long. I actually don't understand the dramatic fear of him leaving. What is this? What is this? Watching the cameras and all this freaky bullshit. It's so weird. Where is this fear coming from? Where's this severe anxiety coming from?

[Chelsea]

I don't know. I don't know where the fear is coming from.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why do you think he's going to leave?

[Chelsea]

I don't think that he's going to leave.

[Caleb Hammer]

Then where? Well, you wouldn't have anxiety about him leaving if you don't think he would leave. There's a part of you that clearly does enough to boil up to extreme anxiety, I'm being told. So where does that come from? What? What is it? What have you seen? What have you thought?

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah. What do you think?

[Chelsea]

Well, he flirts with all his co workers.

[Mike]

Okay. I worked shopped with a bunch of guys now. Yeah, now I flirt with guys now.

[Caleb Hammer]

That's so awesome. Endearing.

[Chelsea]

There was a.

[Caleb Hammer]

Again, homophobic. I don't understand that.

[Chelsea]

There was a girl that he worked with that wanted to marry him so she could get her green card.

[Mike]

Okay, we're high school friends.

[Chelsea]

Talk to her. No, that's weird.

[Mike]

We're high school.

[Caleb Hammer]

Is she hot?

[Chelsea]

She's okay.

[Mike]

She's. Yeah, she's hot.

[Caleb Hammer]

Show me a picture. Okay, I guess. Okay. Yeah, call her mid in front of the one that's terrified about you leaving.

[Chelsea]

She's okay.

[Caleb Hammer]

Tell me, how long were you him while you were with that other guy? Be real.

[Chelsea]

Like probably like three weeks, A month.

[Caleb Hammer]

That's crazy that just because you're a bad person doesn't mean he's going to be a bad person and leave you for someone else. You gotta stop with this.

[Mike]

You got brother.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, she's actually kind of.

[Chelsea]

See, that picture is even weird. That's been two.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, that's an old picture. Probably seven.

[Mike]

Seven is crazy.

[Caleb Hammer]

Mid. Yeah, maybe.

[Chelsea]

Well, she was enough for me to freak out about.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah. Which is fair because you're probably like,

[Chelsea]

a

[Caleb Hammer]

seven as well, so. Yeah, it makes sense.

[Chelsea]

Right? So.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah. So fair enough. Now, when you guys immediately got together, though, all of your finances were immediately spit. 50. 50. Which is crazy because you were 17. Like, what the are we doing with that? And you were what, 20, so.

[Mike]

19.

[Caleb Hammer]

20, whatever. It doesn't really matter. That's a crazy time to be combined. What are you guys trying to speed run?

[Mike]

You guys.

[Caleb Hammer]

Guys are like, it's the 1920s or something.

[Mike]

I think we are rushing through life. We're not taking everything slowly. But the thing is, like, we. We. We have goals and, like, we want things to happen.

[Caleb Hammer]

No. How long is she going to stick around? I know she's afraid of it now, but how long is she going to stick around if you don't actually put some work in?

[Chelsea]

I said four years.

[Mike]

She said four years.

[Caleb Hammer]

Four years from.

[Mike]

No, no, no, no.

[Caleb Hammer]

Like, four years from when?

[Mike]

No, no. If it doesn't happen in a year or so, we're done. Four years of it. Like. Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

And what's your hesitation?

[Mike]

It's.

[Caleb Hammer]

I feel like you said finances.

[Mike]

Cause she doesn't talk about them at all. Like, she doesn't want to. She blocks it out.

[Caleb Hammer]

After all, you don't like to. You want to be a wife, but you're not willing to talk about the household. What the is wrong with you?

[Chelsea]

Cause it's not my finances that are, like, bad.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, but talking about the finances is still important because they're gonna be united essentially.

[Chelsea]

Well, I don't understand when he talks about them.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. You might have to.

[Chelsea]

Doubt gives me anxiety.

[Caleb Hammer]

You might have to dumb them down. I know, I know. Yes. A little SSRI girl. Yep.

[Mike]

She has a weird. Like, a weird relationship with money. I feel like she doesn't understand when I talk about, like, my credit cards or anything or my bills coming up.

[Caleb Hammer]

Maybe now you might have to dumb it down. That's okay. But why aren't you willing to talk about it? Like, what? You get anxious from that. You get anxious about him leaving. You don't have money trauma. You've been spoiled like crazy. Why aren't you at least willing to talk even if you don't fully understand? Just talk.

[Chelsea]

I do try to talk.

[Mike]

No, you don't.

[Chelsea]

Yes, I do.

[Mike]

She says her stomach hurts. She can't talk. You're giving me a headache. If you're talking about finances, like, any conversation that I bring up, I don't

[Chelsea]

understand what he talks about. I don't understand it.

[Caleb Hammer]

Also when you get anxious.

[Chelsea]

Yes.

[Caleb Hammer]

Your tummy hurts. Go. Shit, come back, it's fine. That's what happens when I get anxious.

[Chelsea]

No, I like to lay down when my stomach hurts.

[Caleb Hammer]

Good. Lay down and talk.

[Chelsea]

Mm. Mm.

[Caleb Hammer]

You don't get to just walk away from everything when you feel just slightly uncomfortable, though. Because the hardest things in life, the things that you'll want to get to together, especially as a couple, will require some uncomfortable moments, some anxious moments.

[Chelsea]

But I don't understand the problem.

[Caleb Hammer]

What is the state of this relationship right now?

[Mike]

Okay, we. We've been arguing lately because I've been working a lot. Like, I work 14 hour days every day, every week.

[Caleb Hammer]

Isn't that a good thing, though? So he can pay off his debt for you? No, it's. Cause you don't know how bad debt is because you're a spoiled bitch.

[Chelsea]

I don't know what his debt looks like. I don't know.

[Caleb Hammer]

Because you won't let him tell you.

[Chelsea]

He won't tell me the truth.

[Mike]

I would want to tell you, but the thing is, you don't want to hear it. Like, I do want to tell you what I have. But the thing is, I don't tell her what I purchase.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why?

[Mike]

Because if I'm doing something and I want to get something, I just get it.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, sorry. I'm talking about reflection. Afterwards, like at the end of the month, we sit down and we talk about what. Or money wins.

[Mike]

I. I want to, but we don't know I want to do that. But the thing is with you, you just. You spend your money like it's no care in the world. You spend it like, oh, I'll look at it back.

[Caleb Hammer]

Do you not. So you have a problem with him working a lot?

[Chelsea]

Yes.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why?

[Chelsea]

Because then he doesn't help me at home at all.

[Caleb Hammer]

Help you at home?

[Chelsea]

Let's help you at home. He could do the dishes. He don't do the dishes or clean the toilets.

[Caleb Hammer]

We'll be arguing right now. And how's the sex life anyway?

[Mike]

How is your sex life? So I had my wisdom teeth taken out. So it's been a couple weeks. Three is because she.

[Caleb Hammer]

What? What's this?

[Mike]

Because.

[Caleb Hammer]

Is that a thing? Okay. No, I'm being told. No, no.

[Mike]

It's like weird to kiss somebody with.

[Caleb Hammer]

He has her still.

[Chelsea]

But he had holes in his mouth.

[Mike]

I wanted to, but she's like, icky about it.

[Chelsea]

It weirded me out.

[Caleb Hammer]

Sex.

[Chelsea]

No, the holes in his mouth don't Kiss him.

[Caleb Hammer]

Just have sex. No kiss for a second. We could have before that with all the craziness going on.

[Chelsea]

Not good.

[Caleb Hammer]

It's not good. It's winding down. Why do we think it's not good?

[Chelsea]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

What? Why?

[Mike]

Because you're the person.

[Chelsea]

Probably because we argue all the time.

[Caleb Hammer]

So he's arguing all the time.

[Mike]

No, I don't argue.

[Chelsea]

She argues, he doesn't listen.

[Caleb Hammer]

We're arguing all the time. Our sex life has gotten bad all while we want to get married. Is he allowed to watch porn and not have sex?

[Chelsea]

No.

[Caleb Hammer]

No. That's a hard rule.

[Chelsea]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mike]

It's a cheating per se. In her eyes.

[Caleb Hammer]

Really?

[Chelsea]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay.

[Chelsea]

Or looking at anything.

[Caleb Hammer]

So what was it before our sex life?

[Chelsea]

Yeah, it was good at first.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, no, no, no, no, no.

[Mike]

Every day.

[Caleb Hammer]

You said it was bad before the wisdom teeth.

[Chelsea]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

How bad?

[Mike]

Once a week. But she's been. Not once a week.

[Chelsea]

Once a month.

[Caleb Hammer]

Once a month.

[Chelsea]

Yeah. Okay, so he's trying to make self look.

[Caleb Hammer]

So it's deteriorating because the fighting. And he can't watch porn?

[Chelsea]

No.

[Caleb Hammer]

He needs to you instead of watching porn. Right?

[Chelsea]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. Well, that's interesting. And his checking account, he's actually purchasing. Only

[Chelsea]

I didn't even. Are you for real?

[Mike]

Okay, I think that's a recurring payment. And I canceled it that month. I swear. I swear. I swear.

[Chelsea]

That's so gross. That's so gross.

[Mike]

Gross.

[Caleb Hammer]

You said that's cheating. He actually wants to have sex with you.

[Mike]

Even you want to have sex with you.

[Caleb Hammer]

You're at once a month.

[Mike]

No, I. No, I'm the one that instigates sex. She doesn't want to have sex with me.

[Caleb Hammer]

Is that true?

[Chelsea]

Most of the time, yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why?

[Chelsea]

I'm tired.

[Mike]

No, you're not.

[Caleb Hammer]

I think even still you're tired. That's fine. Got it. But no, the rule. Not only is he watching, which is free. He's painful.

[Mike]

Okay, okay.

[Chelsea]

Like right now.

[Mike]

I noticed that during that month. Because I have.

[Caleb Hammer]

It was the most recent month.

[Chelsea]

Oh my.

[Mike]

It is.

[Caleb Hammer]

What do you think?

[Chelsea]

That's so bad.

[Mike]

That is bad.

[Caleb Hammer]

Really? This seems like an under reaction. I'll be honest.

[Mike]

That is really bad. Like I should have canceled. You're giggling a long time ago.

[Chelsea]

I don't know what to think about it.

[Caleb Hammer]

What's actually happening in your brain?

[Mike]

No, you gotta.

[Chelsea]

I'm in shock. Like, I'm actually in shock.

[Caleb Hammer]

In shock. Are you angry? Are you?

[Chelsea]

I am a little angry. I mean, maybe that's why he doesn't

[Caleb Hammer]

let me go the Thing is that

[Chelsea]

why I don't know what he spends his money on.

[Caleb Hammer]

Let me see your phone.

[Mike]

Here you go, bud.

[Chelsea]

And I don't go through his phone, so I wouldn't even know.

[Caleb Hammer]

Huh. Well, you shouldn't.

[Chelsea]

I feel like if I go through his phone, I'll find something.

[Caleb Hammer]

It was a hard rule to say no. When did we agree on that?

[Chelsea]

When we first start dating. Because he used to be addicted to it.

[Mike]

No, I said.

[Caleb Hammer]

Really?

[Chelsea]

He started watching like seven.

[Caleb Hammer]

He was addicted to it. And yeah, he was paying for only last month.

[Mike]

There you go, bud.

[Caleb Hammer]

He was subscribed to two individual ones. I'm gonna be real with you. Your debt is not the same as everyone else's. You've got your own unique mix of credit cards, maybe some medical bills, personal loans and collections, whatever. Your interest rates are different, your payments are different, Your life is different. So why do you need some one size fits all solution that treats you like a number? Some generic calculator that spits out just pay more. As if you hadn't thought of that already. That's what sets PDS apart. They don't just look at your balance and say good luck. They work to understand your specific scenario and help provide alternative solutions to becoming debt free. Whether you're struggling with credit cards, personal loans, collections or medical bills, PDS Debt has customized options designed specifically for you. Not your neighbor, not some average case study. You. They've helped hundreds of thousands of people get out of debt. And here's the thing. There's no minimum credit score required. They're not here to judge you. They're not here to shame you. They're here to help you get out and help you save more. Pay off your debt faster and start putting money back in your pocket. This is a company that is A plus rated by the Better Business Bureau, boasts thousands of five star reviews on Google and holds a five star rating on trustpilot. That legitimately matters. Here's the thing. If I needed help paying off debt, this is exactly where I'd go for help. You're just 30 seconds away from being debt free with PDS debt. Get your free assessment and find the best option for you right now at PDS. That is PDS debt.com/ PDS debt.com hammer if you or your child spent years growing up on social media and experienced serious mental health struggles, you should hear this. Recently, a jury ordered Meta and YouTube to pay millions for their role in designing and promoting addictive platforms. They knew their apps could contribute to anxiety, depression and body image issues, but did not share those risks while prioritizing profits. The recent historic verdict underscores the consequences of those decisions. Now Morgan. And Morgan is stepping up to hold these platforms accountable for the harm they caused. Click the link in my bio to take a short quiz. You may be entitled to a potential recovery of over $1,000. No, they were a day apart. I'm not 100% sure, but no. Multiple ones.

[Mike]

How long ago?

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, the most recent.

[Chelsea]

This year.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yes. This multiple months into this year. Absolutely. He's been paying for a lot. In fact, he tried one on in February, he tried one in March, and then another one end of March. He's actually subscribing to a lot of only people.

[Chelsea]

Why?

[Mike]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[Caleb Hammer]

You objectively are. They're right here. You can see them.

[Chelsea]

What?

[Mike]

Yeah, but like, the thing is, you

[Caleb Hammer]

can't just say no like they are. They're right there. Why?

[Mike]

I. I. Okay, so. I'm sorry.

[Caleb Hammer]

Listen, here's the reality. The reason I'm bringing this up. You want him to propose to you. He's not proposing to you. You guys are a talk. He won't communicate, he won't propose. But he'll actually go and subscribe to only people, even though you've had a hard rule not to because he had a poor addiction in the past.

[Mike]

Yes.

[Caleb Hammer]

And now he's literally paying for multiple ofers a month. Well, I feel like multiple ofers a month. This is a cope. Any kind of rebuttal does. That is insane.

[Mike]

But I feel like our sex life has been going down since our like two first two years. And I feel like.

[Chelsea]

But that's cheating.

[Mike]

It is cheating.

[Caleb Hammer]

Here's one of them.

[Chelsea]

That's cheating.

[Mike]

Oh, Jesus.

[Chelsea]

You're so. That's so bad.

[Mike]

Yeah, that is pretty bad. But in a way.

[Chelsea]

And my dad's gonna see this?

[Mike]

Yes, he.

[Chelsea]

Good luck.

[Mike]

Yeah, that'd be a conversation. But your dad watches.

[Chelsea]

No, he doesn't.

[Caleb Hammer]

I know this.

[Chelsea]

Why would I.

[Mike]

How you know this one? Caleb?

[Caleb Hammer]

I've never paid for it, but she's everywhere on social media. She's the one that goes on to Lamborghinis and like smash the.

[Mike]

Honestly, that's why I purchased that one

[Caleb Hammer]

because I was curious a month ago. But by the way, it was.

[Mike]

It was.

[Caleb Hammer]

They're fake. They're fake and they're not very good

[Mike]

because you can see the purchasing price. It was like $5.99.

[Chelsea]

Why do you even have.

[Caleb Hammer]

It was a deal. He thinks this is a joke. This is Our joke, though. Is this a joke to you?

[Chelsea]

No.

[Caleb Hammer]

Because he's actually treating it as one.

[Chelsea]

It's not a joke.

[Mike]

I was five, nine.

[Caleb Hammer]

He's legitimately treating it like one.

[Mike]

It's not a. I know you said

[Chelsea]

you got it because it was on sale.

[Mike]

It wasn't. It was risky pictures you could post on Instagram. It was bikinis. No dead ass. Dead ass.

[Caleb Hammer]

I know her.

[Mike]

No dead ass.

[Caleb Hammer]

That's not a whole month.

[Mike]

It was just lingerie. Purchase it.

[Caleb Hammer]

It was not.

[Mike]

Yes. Swear. Bro's gonna try with. Hopefully not.

[Caleb Hammer]

And here's the other one. So those are his most.

[Mike]

Okay, okay. I know why I got that one. Because she, like.

[Caleb Hammer]

That's the most recent this year. The most recent? Yes. From here. And this one's the one he's currently following.

[Mike]

I currently follow somebody.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yes. Asshole.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yes. You're such a prick, dude. You're such a liar. Her. That's who he's currently.

[Chelsea]

And you say you're watching.

[Mike]

But that's free.

[Chelsea]

It's only the app or you have to search it.

[Caleb Hammer]

It's a website. It's a website.

[Chelsea]

So you searched it.

[Mike]

No.

[Chelsea]

Yes, you did. You probably have an account.

[Mike]

I do have an account, but I got it before you. And. Yeah, I was just doing it. Cause there was deals, and they're kind of promoting it.

[Chelsea]

That's so weird. That's so weird.

[Mike]

But the thing is, I stopped.

[Caleb Hammer]

I did cancel right before you came on the show, which is what everyone does. Dude, you got. You got caught.

[Mike]

Yeah, I did. 4K.

[Caleb Hammer]

And that's it?

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

What do you think? What are your actual real thoughts? I know you're. You're playing like. You're playing chill.

[Chelsea]

Maybe your mom has an extra room for you.

[Caleb Hammer]

Are you actually thinking that?

[Chelsea]

Well, probably.

[Caleb Hammer]

Or were you just joking

[Chelsea]

because all her sons moved back in?

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Chelsea]

So just. Family reunion.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay.

[Mike]

Thank you, big guy. Oh, for real? Yeah. Here you go.

[Caleb Hammer]

So you've been afraid and anxious. Anxious of him leaving.

[Chelsea]

Mm.

[Caleb Hammer]

And of him looking at other girls and all that stuff. And then you caught that.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Did he cheat?

[Chelsea]

That's cheating.

[Mike]

That is cheating.

[Caleb Hammer]

You're paying for it. What do you think about it? Yeah. How is he gonna pay for it, actually? Come on. I don't know if you're just not able to stand up for yourself or what, but I think that.

[Chelsea]

I'm really shocked. I have no idea what to say. I did not know that he was doing that at all.

[Mike]

The thing is, with that, I feel like, in a way,

[Chelsea]

I'll pack His bags?

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

See, you laugh.

[Mike]

You laugh.

[Caleb Hammer]

Is that a joke? No, I.

[Mike]

For real.

[Chelsea]

Will I have locked him out before she has.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why?

[Mike]

So I was getting this tattoo right here, and he was taking too long.

[Chelsea]

No, that was a different time. Like, the most recent one.

[Caleb Hammer]

What was the most recent one?

[Chelsea]

He went out with some friends, like, in Denton.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh.

[Mike]

I was playing basketball with my friends

[Chelsea]

for, like, eight hours because we were

[Mike]

talking about catching up online.

[Chelsea]

He was supposed to be doing spark.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, well, time on his side for a second. What? Let the dude live. Like, why do you have to be

[Mike]

like, I haven't hung out with my friends every year. We. I.

[Caleb Hammer]

Like, as long as he says he's going out, like, you're okay.

[Chelsea]

No, he didn't tell me. He said he. I'm gonna go.

[Mike]

She always says no, Caleb.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, yeah, but if you.

[Mike]

She always says no. For me to hang out with my friends.

[Caleb Hammer]

That's weird.

[Chelsea]

He's a grown adult. He can go do it. He just don't do it.

[Caleb Hammer]

But then you lock him out.

[Mike]

No, she's.

[Caleb Hammer]

He knows the consequences for what happens when he's. Because he's kind of with a crazy bitch.

[Chelsea]

So Easy.

[Caleb Hammer]

Watches him on cameras at work.

[Chelsea]

I watched. They were streaming, too, and I watched it. And he was declining me because I was playing basketball.

[Mike]

Yes, I was playing basketball.

[Caleb Hammer]

And that's okay. He doesn't have. You guys don't have to be together 24 hours a day. That's not healthy.

[Chelsea]

No, but he was supposed to be working and then he just went. He could have been like, hey, I'm

[Mike]

going to go play basketball if I can't work and then have, like, at least a life in my perspective.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yes, absolutely. You should be able to have friends, but you should communicate. But for what's worth, if you don't hear back from him, that doesn't mean he's like. Like literally murdering someone or cheating.

[Chelsea]

Well, what if he, like, gone a wreck or something? How am I supposed to know?

[Caleb Hammer]

Lock him out. He may have gotten a wreck. So let me lock him out.

[Chelsea]

He knew he messed up. He didn't answer all the.

[Mike]

Every time I said no, he knew

[Caleb Hammer]

he pissed you off and he wanted to quell that.

[Chelsea]

Yeah, I gave him a blanket and locked the door.

[Mike]

I slept on the couch that night.

[Chelsea]

I ended up letting him in a little bit later.

[Caleb Hammer]

You're kind of crazy now. I mean. Which may have pushed him to do this extracurricular activity.

[Mike]

I feel like she wants me to focus on her and that's it.

[Chelsea]

Like, her who else would you focus on?

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, the thing is, he's allowed to be his own person too.

[Mike]

Well, the thing is, I give you all my energy and it's still not enough. In a way, I give you all my heart and everything and you make it seem like it's not enough.

[Chelsea]

Well, you're watching. Oh, that's weird.

[Mike]

That is weird.

[Caleb Hammer]

It's not necessarily weird. It might not be the most healthy, especially for someone with a porn addiction in the past. Which means he's definitely still watching, by the way.

[Chelsea]

Are you?

[Mike]

Yes. Okay, I admit. I admit to it.

[Caleb Hammer]

How?

[Mike]

Frequently I would say if I'm alone and she's not home and she's doing other things and I had the day off or whatever. At least three times a day. A day before she comes.

[Chelsea]

A day? A day?

[Caleb Hammer]

What?

[Chelsea]

A day.

[Mike]

Not a day. Not a day when I have nothing

[Chelsea]

to do three times in a day. That's.

[Mike]

That's not always. Okay. It's not always.

[Caleb Hammer]

What? What? What does that mean? We have our own.

[Mike]

Okay, we have our own.

[Caleb Hammer]

I got that. But it is sometimes. Many times, many times.

[Mike]

Spice it up. Well, you know, you gotta get the hot Cheetos.

[Caleb Hammer]

I know, but listen, the crunchy chips, I don't have too much. I don't really have an issue with. Okay. Unless someone has an addiction. But she specifically made it the rule to not. Yes, okay. You're flat faced.

[Chelsea]

I don't know what to say. That's shocking, but what's going through your head. It hurts my feelings.

[Caleb Hammer]

It hurts your feelings. But you're never gonna leave, are you? I think you're like. No, you're like obsessive or something like this doesn't matter to you. It does. But you're never gonna do anything you like. You don't care.

[Chelsea]

I'll let him. I'll make him go stay with his mom. I will.

[Mike]

What?

[Caleb Hammer]

It's like a timeout because he hates you.

[Chelsea]

Don't like being over there.

[Mike]

Well, the thing is, if I'm living with, I'm not gonna live with my parents. I'd rather live in a motel than live with my parents because I feel like if I go back, I like their phone again.

[Caleb Hammer]

Give me your phone again.

[Mike]

Yes, sir.

[Chelsea]

So I'll call your mom and say your son's watching, only to come live with you.

[Caleb Hammer]

Anything I want.

[Mike]

That's okay.

[Caleb Hammer]

My show. His most recent search results are like, Riley Reed, threesome on Red. So this is where he watches is on Reddit. So Riley.

[Chelsea]

Okay, you said you didn't have Reddit and Kimmy Granger.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, he has read it.

[Chelsea]

You said you deleted it.

[Mike]

Kilp's a smart guy, okay? He's.

[Chelsea]

Why would you not at least delete it before we came.

[Mike]

Jesus Christ.

[Chelsea]

You watch that? You like that?

[Mike]

No, I don't.

[Chelsea]

Yes, obviously.

[Mike]

No, I don't.

[Caleb Hammer]

It was there.

[Mike]

I like threesomes.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, he does. With what? Two guys tagging a chick?

[Mike]

No, no, no, no, no, please.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. Homophobe. Again. Jeez. Kind of crazy. Oh, I see the ones he's watched a lot. Watched, Watched. Watched. Watched. Watched. Watched. Watched.

[Mike]

I was picking the right one. Caleb. I was picking the right one.

[Caleb Hammer]

Watched. Watched. Washed.

[Chelsea]

Watched.

[Caleb Hammer]

Watched. Oh, my goodness. Watched. Watch if you scroll. Watch if you scroll. Watch. Okay, finally.

[Chelsea]

Let him call you.

[Caleb Hammer]

Watch.

[Chelsea]

That's gross. That's gross.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, no, dude's watching a lot of Riley Reid threesome.

[Chelsea]

Who is Riley?

[Mike]

She's a. Old school.

[Chelsea]

I would have. That's so gross. I don't know what to say. I have no idea what to say. You hurt my feelings.

[Mike]

I know.

[Chelsea]

Yeah, like it makes me look at him gross.

[Caleb Hammer]

I get that. But the thing is.

[Chelsea]

That's gross. That's gross.

[Caleb Hammer]

This is Riley Reed.

[Mike]

Okay. Okay.

[Chelsea]

I. I don't watch that.

[Mike]

Okay. Okay.

[Caleb Hammer]

She kind of.

[Mike]

She kind of.

[Chelsea]

Okay, so why are you watching her?

[Mike]

Because I can't watch you because you don't have sex with me. Boom. Roasted.

[Caleb Hammer]

Which I think relatively, it's a fair compromise if you're not having sex that he should be able to baby.

[Chelsea]

Or not. That's not fair. No, it's not.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. What is he supposed to do?

[Mike]

I have knees.

[Caleb Hammer]

He does have knees.

[Chelsea]

And he has a right hand. He can use that.

[Mike]

Yeah, but you choose something weird. She makes it weird. She's like.

[Chelsea]

Because I'll be sleeping. That's weird. To do it right next to me.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. Yeah. Why can't you go sleep?

[Mike]

Because I can't imagine things. That's the thing. If I do fab, I have to watch something.

[Caleb Hammer]

I have to look at her asleep.

[Mike]

No, no. She usually does something and she makes it weird. She makes it weird. She makes it weird and she doesn't like that. She makes faces like, oh, disgusting faces like that. She's like, what are you doing?

[Chelsea]

Because he makes weird faces.

[Mike]

So what am I supposed to do?

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, yeah, he's nutting.

[Mike]

Like, I. What can I do?

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, so what. What do you expect of him then if he can't? Like.

[Chelsea]

Well, we can talk about it. We don't talk about it.

[Caleb Hammer]

What do you mean, no, we can't talk about it?

[Mike]

We can't talk about it because every time I bring it up, it seems like it's a need. Like, she thinks that's all I want in this relationship is sex. She makes it. Sex is, like, the biggest thing I feel like in our relationship. That's what she thinks. Like, that's all.

[Chelsea]

Because that's all it was in the beginning. All it was. I don't like to have sex all

[Mike]

the time, but the thing is, I have a high sex drive, and that's why I'm. And that's.

[Caleb Hammer]

Is he a lot?

[Chelsea]

Yeah, that's fine.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why not the.

[Chelsea]

Cause that's other women.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah. You're not giving him you.

[Chelsea]

Well, he doesn't tell me that. It affects me.

[Mike]

No, no, no, it does affect me. Because you don't, like, do anything sexual.

[Chelsea]

I'm just not a sexual person, which is okay.

[Caleb Hammer]

But he needs to. He needs to come.

[Mike]

She doesn't have any power. In a way, she can kick me out. Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, yeah. She can't leave you. She's obsessed with you. She has a weird obsession. And I think she's like, 20. She's like. Her hormones are going crazy. Like she's on baby mode 24 hours a day. She just wants you to unload and get her pregnant. That's really all she wants. And then she'll regret it when she's 35 because it's with someone who she. Maybe she doesn't even want to be with.

[Chelsea]

No, I do want to be with

[Caleb Hammer]

her, but not him, him, him, him. The one that wants that shit. The life you don't want.

[Chelsea]

No, I don't want that. But I think we could say in three ways.

[Caleb Hammer]

Would you bring in another woman? That seems to be his thing.

[Mike]

No.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, I wouldn't want that.

[Mike]

I wouldn't want that.

[Caleb Hammer]

You wouldn't?

[Mike]

No, no. That's a fantasy. Not something I would say.

[Caleb Hammer]

Fantasies are. They like it. They want it to be a reality, but. Okay, yeah, sure.

[Mike]

Well, I feel like she's. She's always been trying to craft me to be her father in a way. Like, actually.

[Caleb Hammer]

Huh.

[Mike]

Like that's what she's been wanting, is her somebody her dad can, like, accept in a way.

[Chelsea]

My dad has high standards.

[Mike]

Exactly.

[Caleb Hammer]

It's not unfair. I mean, he wants the best for his daughter. That's okay. Wanting the best for your kids a good thing.

[Mike]

And it's also a reason why I haven't proposed yet either. Is because I don't feel like he Would say yes.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, shut the upper.

[Mike]

No, I'm being my dad. Yes, your dad has said that he would have to, like, think really hard if he would let me have your hand in marriage. And you told me that. Plus, our cultures are way too different.

[Caleb Hammer]

What?

[Mike]

I'm Cuban and she's white.

[Caleb Hammer]

Come on.

[Mike]

That's what I said.

[Caleb Hammer]

How Cuban are you?

[Mike]

100%.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, but, like, you're raised. You're from suburban Dallas.

[Mike]

Nah, nah. I'm from Buffalo, New York.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, Buffalo, New York. The most tropical. Well.

[Mike]

Well, my parents are from the boat.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, your parents, not you.

[Mike]

That's what she explains to her father, but he thinks otherwise.

[Caleb Hammer]

What?

[Mike]

Her father thinks our cultures are too different.

[Caleb Hammer]

What does that mean? Usually, like, hyper conservative people like him. Like Cubans. Cause the Cubans hate socialism and stuff.

[Chelsea]

He thinks our wedding will be different.

[Mike]

He doesn't want a kid to be named Jose.

[Chelsea]

He doesn't want.

[Caleb Hammer]

No one wants that.

[Chelsea]

Well, my dad thinks that He's Mexican. He's not Mexican. He does.

[Caleb Hammer]

I thought you were white. So I don't really know.

[Chelsea]

Exactly.

[Caleb Hammer]

You're white. She's pink.

[Mike]

Oh, yeah.

[Chelsea]

No.

[Mike]

She's a little embarrassed, but.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, yeah, because you just got exposed for essentially doing what she considers cheating for the last. All your relationships.

[Mike]

Not fair to her. And that's also been weighing all my conscience.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah. What's her dad gonna think when he sees this?

[Mike]

The same thing he's been thinking.

[Caleb Hammer]

I think a little worse now. Right?

[Chelsea]

I think so. He'll probably never. He probably won't want us to get married at all.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah. What about. Sorry, I know this has been a very sexual episode so far, but it is actually apparently their whole thing. What about a little.

[Mike]

No, she doesn't do malfunctions.

[Chelsea]

I don't like to do that.

[Mike]

She hates blowjobs, hand jobs.

[Chelsea]

He does it. It's uncomfortable.

[Caleb Hammer]

Do you do oral on her?

[Mike]

Sorry. Yes. Yes.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, come on. That's only fair to go back.

[Mike]

Like, literally. That's all she wants from me. That's why she hasn't let me.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, shit. You don't want him in.

[Mike]

Aw, no, she does. No, she does, actually.

[Caleb Hammer]

Once a month.

[Mike]

Oh. She has a UTI every other day for some reason.

[Caleb Hammer]

Are you kidding? It happens. It happens to women sometimes. Yeah, that happens. Yeah.

[Chelsea]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, no, that's normal. I.

[Chelsea]

No, I'm embarrassed. You didn't have to say that.

[Caleb Hammer]

I am embarrassed. I think everyone that's been with women knows that that is more common than you'd probably think. It's not Talked about very much. Is it?

[Mike]

But no, no, no.

[Caleb Hammer]

We'll call the dad in the post show. What do you guys think your Hammer financial score is? 0 to 10. 0 being the absolute worst, 10 being the best. If we're combined. If we're looking towards marriage.03. What about cheating score? 10 being the most cheaters in the world, 7 being nothing.

[Mike]

10, I guess because you think cheating. So it's.

[Caleb Hammer]

I went through a Snapchat. I was expecting to maybe see a woman. I didn't see anything.

[Mike]

Yeah, I don't.

[Caleb Hammer]

So if there is. So he's at least not talking to someone else. As far as I know. I don't trust that face.

[Mike]

I didn't trust Cedar. I don't know why.

[Chelsea]

What?

[Mike]

No, no, no, no. I am not talking to anybody.

[Chelsea]

I feel like you talk to somebody.

[Mike]

No, I'm not. Okay. That sounds unconvincing. I'm just really nervous because the whole, like, thing has been brought to light.

[Chelsea]

Well, you knew, which is a good thing.

[Caleb Hammer]

It was on your statement. And you get to choose what's not talked about on the show and you didn't say it.

[Mike]

Okay, well, the thing is, it has to be brought to light. I think that's a good thing.

[Chelsea]

You didn't have to wait to go on the show to tell me.

[Mike]

Well, if I told you earlier.

[Caleb Hammer]

Because he wasn't gonna tell you on the show. I did.

[Mike]

Yeah, you did.

[Caleb Hammer]

He wasn't gonna bring up shit. To be clear. Not a chance. That was me who exposed it.

[Chelsea]

Well, I'm glad. Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

It's just unfortunate you're not gonna do anything about it except for a little timeout. And unfortunately, you're just gonna be stuck with that your entire life. Someone who's, to be very clear, this is an example. And yes, even if it is something more addictive, which is true, there are many addictive things in this world. He is someone where you guys made a clear boundary on something, and he's been doing it, like, every day behind your back for years. Well, what does that suggest for anything else for the rest of your life?

[Chelsea]

He's gonna keep doing it.

[Caleb Hammer]

Just saying that. Plus, who knows what else? If he's willing to lie about that constantly, what else will he be willing to lie about? At 50, June 1, I'm launching the Hammer Relief app. Available on every major platform, exclusive, dedicated shows every single day, Monday through Saturday. And to celebrate the app launch, I'm offering 30% off the annual plan in the month of June only. Plus, I have an exclusive offer just for you but limited to the first 1000 people to purchase. For a one time payment of 500, you'll get our entire Hammer Elite catalog for life and a limited edition Hampton Hammer for Lifebox packed with merch you can't get anywhere else. You'll get a limited edition Caleb Hammer commemorative coin, a budget planner notebook, a Caleb Hammer credit card, skin Caleb Hammer emoji stickers, a limited edition Caleb Hammer plushie, a limited edition Hammer Elite mug, a limited edition Hammer Elite hat, all packed inside a custom merch box. Once all 1,000 boxes are gone, this offer is gone forever. Join the Waitlist by using the link in the description or pin comment down below. So mark your calendar June 1st. This is the best membership you'll ever join and that is a promise. That's kind of stupid, I'll be honest. But what's not is actually getting a checking account that gives you free money. Free money? We like free money. You can get up to 200 in bonus cash right now when you sign up for the checking account that I use. Chime also, it makes your savings grow at a 3.5 APY interest rate. Guys, you can watch Financial Audit and get free money at the same time. Who would have thought? That's incredible. Check it out. Link in the description below.

[Mike]

I feel like I needed to tell her with somebody instead of me just coming out with this Shane again because she would instantly just not want to talk about it and just tell me to kick out.

[Caleb Hammer]

Did she straight up say no to going to couples therapy?

[Mike]

Yes.

[Caleb Hammer]

Bro, why the no?

[Chelsea]

I said I just don't want to talk about it. Let's not bring it up again because

[Mike]

I told her what?

[Chelsea]

I don't want to go to therapy.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why he does for you two? It's not necessarily for you for your relationship and him.

[Mike]

Like I gave her ultimatum. I was like our relationship won't work if we don't go to therapy and I didn't.

[Caleb Hammer]

Selfish. Everything's about you and it's because of how you grew up.

[Chelsea]

Well, we can go to therapy now.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, now that you got called out. Now that I'm calling you out and now that you're being an exposed to selfish bitch on camera.

[Mike]

Because I did want to talk to her about the point because if I did do it separately she would just tell me get out of my house buddy.

[Caleb Hammer]

You were going to. I brought it up.

[Mike]

No, no, I was in therapy. Like actually because I was gonna tell

[Caleb Hammer]

her she said no to therapy. So when would it have ever come up?

[Mike]

When we came to the show. That's why I applied to.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, it wouldn't have. It would not have come up in the show if I didn't bring it up correct.

[Mike]

Not from my notes.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, not from. Not from any of the interviews.

[Mike]

You like to search, huh? You like to look through people's phones.

[Caleb Hammer]

You were. No, I would. I never go through people's Reddit or peoplesonly.com. never. Never. Unless there's a reason. This would not have come off that as a cope. What would you have actually done?

[Mike]

Kept it a secret for the rest of our lives.

[Caleb Hammer]

There you go. That's the reality. If you want your camera financial score, get it for [e-mail]. see where you stand in the world of money, where you're doing poorly, where you're doing great. It'll tell you for free in just a few minutes. And if you don't want to be like a guest who ends up on the show. Couples therapy and download the dollar wise budgeting app. Take the free trial, see if it works for you and sign up for the annual version if you like it, because that's what most people do as it saves a lot. And you get my personalized 30 day meal plan signed by me, mailed directly to you. And the digital version of our cookbook that goes over every recipe. It's every single day of the month. All drinks, all snacks, all meals. No more excuses to not budget your food.

[Mike]

I've been waiting for this a long time.

[Caleb Hammer]

Dollar wise in the description below. Okay, well, let's go to this. I mean, I think this is. This is financial audit and this is a finance show. 53 minutes in, but this is a very important part and this is gonna be probably one of the more important parts leading, you know, going forward, heading into marriage and all this shit. And you haven't had that. Why do you look at like three different directions at once sometimes?

[Chelsea]

Where?

[Caleb Hammer]

That's what I'm asking.

[Chelsea]

I don't know.

[Caleb Hammer]

She goes cross eyed, doesn't she?

[Chelsea]

No, I do not.

[Mike]

She's kinda. Not all the way up there in a way.

[Chelsea]

No, you aren't.

[Mike]

I am. I feel like there's a reason why I work hard.

[Chelsea]

I feel like I look at people's eyebrows.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, you just did it again.

[Chelsea]

Because I looked up and then down.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, no, no, no. Yeah, but one of your eyes.

[Chelsea]

Oh, well, that's fine.

[Caleb Hammer]

You're a freak. So this is an important thing.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

And you haven't gone over it, but all that shit we talked about at

[Mike]

first could have been Gone over.

[Caleb Hammer]

That is going to be borderline. Even more important, at least for now, maybe into the future as well. And you guys need to go to couples therapy, probably immediately. Again, not one of the bullshit enablement therapists, which there are many of and that cater to young pussies. But you need a good one that'll actually shit down your throat. Okay, try one.

[Mike]

I told you we needed a couple stairs.

[Caleb Hammer]

Is she actually going to or is she just saying yes to the camera?

[Mike]

You know her only for the camera because she hates therapists.

[Chelsea]

I'll try. No, I'll try.

[Caleb Hammer]

Try. You just go. What do you mean try?

[Chelsea]

Well, if I don't like it.

[Caleb Hammer]

No. Is that nobody likes therapy.

[Mike]

The thing is, there's multiple people that we could go to and then find the one that you like. Cause I don't care. I don't know.

[Caleb Hammer]

The person she likes might be one like her daddy that just makes. Thinks she's great and shits on you. That's not necessarily the most healthy.

[Mike]

Like I. I don't want to be on all the time and I sometimes I do deserve it. Like right now, like Caleb shit on me for the only fans, which is right. And I feel like.

[Caleb Hammer]

And I'll shit on her in the video her and I make after this.

[Mike]

Oh my. Oh, spicy.

[Caleb Hammer]

We'll give it to you so you can play with yourself later though. So the preferred card. Who's this?

[Chelsea]

The what?

[Mike]

Sapphire Preferred Mine.

[Caleb Hammer]

That's right. They're pretty much all you, right? Except for student loans. You said you have. Mm, yeah, no, but he's right though. He is right though, for what it's worth.

[Chelsea]

Therapy.

[Caleb Hammer]

Stop being a spoiled bitch.

[Chelsea]

I'll try.

[Caleb Hammer]

Try, try, try. So my dad's still there, huh?

[Mike]

Her dad's always gonna be there, so.

[Caleb Hammer]

And also that's not true, but.

[Chelsea]

So I'm only 20, so I'll work on it. I'll attempt what that's into.

[Mike]

What?

[Caleb Hammer]

Work on what? What does your dad being there have to do with anything?

[Chelsea]

Well, how is it my fault that I'm spoiled?

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, I thought you meant going to therapy.

[Chelsea]

Oh, well, I didn't know what you were talking about, therapy or my dad.

[Mike]

I thought you were talking about therapy.

[Chelsea]

Oh, I'll try.

[Caleb Hammer]

$120 minimum. Whoa, guys, I just realized. What do you do for work?

[Chelsea]

I'm a lab tech.

[Caleb Hammer]

What do you make? How many hours a week?

[Chelsea]

Like 32. $17 an hour. No, 17 an hour.

[Caleb Hammer]

What's your paycheck usually? Average 1200 every two weeks. Nope.

[Chelsea]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Mike]

Is that net or gross? Is that net or gross? She doesn't really know.

[Chelsea]

It's like 1200. That goes into my bank account.

[Mike]

But you haven't worked a full week work at all. Because I've been 30 years.

[Chelsea]

That's why I said 32.

[Mike]

Nah, bro.

[Chelsea]

Nah.

[Mike]

17 times. 17 times 32 isn't 1200.

[Chelsea]

1100.

[Mike]

It's less than that.

[Caleb Hammer]

What is it that I don't know. I have your. Unfortunately payrolls combined.

[Mike]

The thing is, she last.

[Caleb Hammer]

What do you make?

[Mike]

I make.

[Caleb Hammer]

What do you do?

[Mike]

I am a welder helper and I also do spark. So combined I make 4,500amonth gross.

[Caleb Hammer]

That's good. Look at you. Wow. 23 in the trades. Get you a course career certification. Doubling up those trades maybe like construction project management, that kind of thing. Convert that into a six figure jobs like many people out there have. And unfortunately, if that is his paycheck, that means the only other thing that came in was about $72.

[Chelsea]

72.

[Caleb Hammer]

So unless he made less and you made a little more. Pay active. What's that?

[Mike]

Pay active.

[Chelsea]

Pay active.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, I'm gonna say make 2,000amonth. I, I don't know.

[Mike]

She honestly makes close to 1600amonth. Yes.

[Caleb Hammer]

A full month.

[Mike]

Yes, because she does.

[Caleb Hammer]

But you're in school, right?

[Chelsea]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

What are you studying?

[Chelsea]

Teaching to be a teacher.

[Caleb Hammer]

What?

[Chelsea]

Teaching, like a teacher?

[Caleb Hammer]

What kind?

[Chelsea]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. Well, in the major cities in Texas they make okay money, but I'm not

[Chelsea]

worried about the money. Really?

[Caleb Hammer]

Because you're spoiled. You've never known.

[Chelsea]

Well, I rather. Just like my dog.

[Caleb Hammer]

He was actually correct in the beginning. I thought he was bullshitting when he was like, she doesn't know the value of he's 100. Correct. Your debt doesn't scare you because you've never had to see what the consequences are. Having a lower paycheck doesn't scare you because you've never seen what the consequences are. Maybe you have a big inheritance coming. What do your parents do?

[Chelsea]

My dad owns a AC business and my mom's a nurse.

[Caleb Hammer]

AC business in Texas and then nursing. Makes pretty good money too. Yeah, they do. Well, yeah. My parents are rich.

[Mike]

Yes.

[Caleb Hammer]

They got a nice house.

[Mike]

Yes.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah. Yeah. You're not afraid of shit. Spoiled bitch.

[Mike]

Like, like I said, her dad would pay for the rent if I'm not there.

[Caleb Hammer]

Growing up from poor to lower middle class to eventually middle class by the time I graduated high school, I still hate people like you. You just did it again, you cross eyed weirdo.

[Chelsea]

I didn't Mean to. I'm not meaning to.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. This takes 14 years to pay off.

[Mike]

Your kid will tell you something. It's more expensive because we went to Austin last month and why we spent $2,000.

[Caleb Hammer]

So you came to Austin today and we're paying for it. Why'd you go last month?

[Mike]

Last month, four days. Because I thought it was gonna be good Friday. Yeah, it was good Friday.

[Caleb Hammer]

So.

[Chelsea]

So we came.

[Mike]

We were off.

[Caleb Hammer]

What does that have to do with Austin?

[Mike]

Because honestly, I honestly thought I was gonna be on the show a lot sooner than. What?

[Caleb Hammer]

Did we give you a date?

[Mike]

No.

[Caleb Hammer]

Then why the would you come here if we didn't say?

[Mike]

Because I was kind of planning, too. I wanted a trip to Austin. I wanted a trip with us.

[Caleb Hammer]

Which you have now paid for.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah, but the thing is.

[Caleb Hammer]

And how'd you spend 2,000, by the way? That's a road trip of, like, four hours. How'd you spend 2,000?

[Mike]

Airbnb was like, how long? Four days, three nights.

[Caleb Hammer]

That's a lot of money, isn't it?

[Mike]

It was like. Honestly, the Airbnb we got last month is, like, right around the block from here.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, don't dox us, weirdo.

[Mike]

My bad. But, yeah, and then we. We went shopping every day.

[Caleb Hammer]

There it is. You got your ass spoiled.

[Chelsea]

I. I didn't spend money, though. Not me.

[Caleb Hammer]

You sleep with him down here?

[Mike]

No. You didn't? No. No, she didn't really.

[Caleb Hammer]

Usually vacation's, like, a good time for, like, sex. Even in her head.

[Mike]

Her head hurt.

[Chelsea]

I did have a really bad headache.

[Mike]

She had a migraine.

[Caleb Hammer]

For four days?

[Chelsea]

No, one day. The day we got there.

[Caleb Hammer]

And the three days besides that, we

[Chelsea]

shopped all day, so I was tired.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, I don't know. Just usually vacation is where people.

[Mike]

Well, the ceiling was also.

[Caleb Hammer]

Here's the thing. Here's the exciting thing when guys don't want to have sex. I'm just gonna let you in on a little secret. Here's the thing. When guys don't want to have sex, but the woman does. Think about what the guy has to do. Big old show and dance and performance to get the woman to come. It's a whole medical operation, and we love it. But it's a thing when the girl doesn't want to have sex and the guy does. Give him 30 seconds and he'll finish on his own. That's all I'm saying. You literally. I mean, ew. Not really. I don't know. If she laid there for 30 seconds, you'd be done right?

[Mike]

Hell, yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Exactly. It's like you don't even have to do anything. I'm not advocating for that until it sounds a little. But come on. It's not. Cause you'd consent to it?

[Chelsea]

I would consent to it.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. There we go. So there you go.

[Chelsea]

We'll try.

[Caleb Hammer]

It's like. It's easier. It's just, you know, like. I get it. I mean, I don't want you to have sex if you don't want to have sex, but also, just find your. Yes. Maybe you're down for a little makeout session while he jerks off or something. I don't know. Oh, I guess not. My goodness. She really doesn't want to do anything with you. You're.

[Mike]

Well, she loves me and she's obsessed with me, but she doesn't want to give me that satisfaction.

[Caleb Hammer]

Maybe your dick's tiny. I don't know. So with this buddy. Okay, so it's like 6,073 now,

[Mike]

you

[Caleb Hammer]

said you spent 2.

[Mike]

4 grand. 500.

[Caleb Hammer]

What? You said it went up. Okay, okay, 4,500.

[Mike]

Yes. Well, I thought it was at 2 grand, to be honest with you.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, it was at 4073.

[Mike]

Oh, wait, wait. That's a new statement. Never mind. Sorry, bud.

[Caleb Hammer]

How many times do I have to cross out you degenerate?

[Mike]

Jesus. Our word that early is crazy.

[Caleb Hammer]

That early? We're an hour and two minutes in, bro.

[Mike]

I'm just going by so fast.

[Caleb Hammer]

You got lucky. I didn't call you 30 seconds in. So you are a little. You kind of got like the. Like, look at you. Look at the way you're just touching yourself.

[Mike]

I have ADD and autism. I'm in.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, you're collecting them all? Every Gen Z or. Shut up.

[Mike]

Well, I was diagnosed because they all are when I was younger. Like, I guess, but. Don't matter.

[Caleb Hammer]

How many times did you transition, too?

[Mike]

Six times, I guess.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, there and back. There and back. $120 a month. 4,073 takes 14 years to pay off. And as I was saying earlier, your kid will still be zero years old because he still wouldn't have put one in you. Your life is.

[Chelsea]

It's okay.

[Mike]

No, I would want to give you.

[Caleb Hammer]

It's okay.

[Chelsea]

Wow.

[Caleb Hammer]

See? She'll never leave. She'll never leave. She thinks she cares about that. She'll never.

[Chelsea]

No, I do care. I do care, but I think we could work.

[Mike]

I feel like if we.

[Caleb Hammer]

No kids. Zero kids forever.

[Chelsea]

No, I want a kid.

[Mike]

I want a kid as well, but I don't want it so early that it affects our financial. Because I want us to be debt free.

[Caleb Hammer]

That's usually why people don't have kids though. Like, I mean, you don't have to be perfect to have kids.

[Mike]

Like, but the amount of debt that I have, it is chunky.

[Caleb Hammer]

It is chunky.

[Mike]

As a young age, it's hard to bring something in.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, I just give you the better, best opportunity to have it at a young age, by the way.

[Mike]

But NTTA online.

[Caleb Hammer]

What's that again? How do I know that? Is that tolls? NTTA? Yeah, yeah. $477 a tolls. You creature. By the way, you can drive without tolls a little longer. Yes, you can. Shut up.

[Mike]

It was accumulated for as long as I.

[Caleb Hammer]

No more tolls. Texas roadhouse retro boats. 180 bucks. Terry Blacks.

[Mike]

Am I right? That was disgusting.

[Chelsea]

But we didn't know how much it was. Yes, we didn't know. They don't tell you prices when you walk in there.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, yeah, barbecue is expensive, but you got the worst barbecue for expensive. Lulu. We did a blind taste test the other day. It's brisket was not even close to as good as butter places brisket. He lost the brisket test by a lot. Lululemon Allen's boots 400.

[Mike]

That was these boots that I have on right now.

[Chelsea]

He already has boots and he don't even wear.

[Mike]

Oh, boots. Oh, sorry.

[Chelsea]

He don't even wear boots.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, he is right now.

[Mike]

The jeans are 80 bucks, same place.

[Chelsea]

And the shirt, he has just these people.

[Caleb Hammer]

So this was your trip to Austin because. Yeah, that's where Allen's classic store is. Right. So there you go.

[Mike]

Lululemon's here.

[Caleb Hammer]

Lulu's everywhere though. Farah's Italian Restaurant. Getting some fees. You've had a late fee this year. Yeah, you want to get with a guy that's not painting.

[Mike]

Doesn't know what that is. She doesn't know what that is.

[Caleb Hammer]

It's late. I think she knows what the word later. She is the dumbest person I've ever met, but she is. She knows what the word is.

[Chelsea]

How are you late?

[Mike]

I don't have auto pay on that card and sometimes. Sometimes I just forget.

[Chelsea]

Gross.

[Caleb Hammer]

That's who you like.

[Mike]

She finds that hot.

[Chelsea]

Actually, that just grossed me out. That was gross.

[Caleb Hammer]

But I bet you don't even like let him go to a room and play video games on his own, do you?

[Mike]

Nope.

[Chelsea]

Yes, I do.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, no, you're a weird one.

[Mike]

No, she doesn't. I know you don't because I have A game room. And if I'm in there for 30 minutes, she wants me to do something else. That's why I have.

[Caleb Hammer]

What is wrong with people like you? So glad my girlfriend lets me play

[Mike]

videos like that because you just want me by your side watching the things you want to watch. And if I'm watching Caleb Hammer, you're like, turn him off.

[Caleb Hammer]

What the.

[Mike]

He's too loud. Why is he yelling? Why is he so mean?

[Chelsea]

Because he just. Just plays it and walks around the house. Yeah, and you do it a lot, so it's loud.

[Caleb Hammer]

Like, I watch him listen to me in the background.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

That's why he wanted us to do an Eiffel Tower on you, because he's such a big fan.

[Mike]

I'm a big fan.

[Caleb Hammer]

It's a. It's a. It's a sexual thing.

[Chelsea]

Oh, I don't want to know where

[Caleb Hammer]

we both stick it in.

[Chelsea]

Yeah, I don't want to. Let's go.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. I'll actually give you kids.

[Mike]

Jeez.

[Caleb Hammer]

And I'm not laid on my credit cards.

[Mike]

I didn't say that. Did I say that?

[Caleb Hammer]

You were late on your credit cards, dude. Whoa.

[Mike]

Still paid for it.

[Caleb Hammer]

Interest is occurring late. Oh, my gosh. What is this? Klarna or affirm? One of them. This is the most insane balance I've ever seen on one of those.

[Mike]

So I firm literally everything.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, my gosh, dude, you owe 8,448.71. I've never seen that in my life.

[Chelsea]

He was supposed to stop.

[Mike]

Okay, so I did tell her.

[Caleb Hammer]

I was just like, your.

[Mike]

Okay. I am addicted to it. He did have it paid off.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, we're finding new addictions. We're just collecting them.

[Mike]

That's like Pokemon cards, dude.

[Caleb Hammer]

But, no, this isn't all Pokemons.

[Mike]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's on tools. Tools to work on.

[Chelsea]

Oh.

[Caleb Hammer]

It's even, like, almost worse.

[Mike]

And tools for work. Like, it goes hand in hand. Tools.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why are you with him? He's a tool collector.

[Mike]

Not a tool collector, but, like, I don't have any base to buy tools, so I use affirm to purchase these tools.

[Chelsea]

That's a lot of money.

[Caleb Hammer]

What's your minimum? I'm gonna guess it's like 750. How are you okay with that?

[Chelsea]

I didn't know that.

[Caleb Hammer]

You don't know anything because you're not willing to talk to him?

[Chelsea]

No, he said that he paid it off because I told him I did pay it off.

[Caleb Hammer]

He's probably paid off, like, a purchase here. And there not the whole thing.

[Mike]

Oh, I have Caleb. I have.

[Caleb Hammer]

But you should give him reward blow jobs for making progress.

[Chelsea]

Not this.

[Caleb Hammer]

We're making progress.

[Chelsea]

There's no progress.

[Mike]

Well, the thing is with the home like Amazon, I can show you my firm so you could have a. A greater understanding.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, it's okay.

[Mike]

You sure? Okay, okay.

[Caleb Hammer]

I saw it there. But you're just getting tools and ripping packs and being the reason I got. Okay, fine. Let me listen.

[Mike]

The reason I I'm getting tools and everything is because I wanted to.

[Caleb Hammer]

Truck pulls up and you're like, can't wait.

[Mike]

No, no, no, no. Right?

[Caleb Hammer]

Isn't that what happens? No, that's what happens at the car mechanics.

[Mike]

Yeah, but the thing is I go to Home Depot and buy these tools because like Home Depot has deals sometimes on like Milwaukee Tools, which is a brand that's really expensive in the tool space.

[Caleb Hammer]

Show me your affirm.

[Mike]

Yes, sir.

[Caleb Hammer]

Freak if three way watching freak. It's just. Yeah, it's the same actually. The same balance hasn't made progress once.

[Mike]

Go to next month and you'll see.

[Caleb Hammer]

Quiet boy.

[Mike]

Cheese boy minority.

[Caleb Hammer]

I know you're a white Cuban. Shut up. So sick of people like you. There's people that are Middle Eastern. You're white, you get all the privileges.

[Mike]

12 black dude.

[Caleb Hammer]

And I'm like 8%. Okay. So I don't go around and claim it. I don't even claim my native. Listen, the thing is, it doesn't all that matter. Do you actually face the discrimination or not? Because everyone that's like, oh, I'm all this. I'm this. Do you. Have you faced any trouble? No. Oh, you've been treated like a white person your entire life. Cuz you're white.

[Mike]

I'm. I'm privileged in a way.

[Caleb Hammer]

You're 12%.

[Mike]

What?

[Caleb Hammer]

You're 12% black.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Say it then. Mm. Doesn't sound like he is 12%. Okay. Lots of Home Depot, Amazon car parts, America's best in store, harbor freight, Home Depot, Airbnb 9 of 12. He's borrowing these at that. You wouldn't even know what a number is if I told you. But 32 interest?

[Mike]

Yeah, it's crazy.

[Caleb Hammer]

Nothing to her. That's bad. Father, I'm sure you're great. And you want her. You want her to be like a princess, spoiled by a man. She does need to know a couple things and interest is one of them. You can go ahead and teach her because I'm not. He's watching this.

[Mike]

Yes.

[Caleb Hammer]

So he's watching me talk about doing a Eiffel Tower with.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Wait, your husband and.

[Mike]

Yes.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. Well, now I feel awkward because I'm okay with my parents saying that and my girlfriend saying your parents?

[Mike]

Those. Sometimes those. So demo Home Depot prices is because I wanted to do something for her. I built her a bench. I built her paint stuff like you built her paint? Not paint, but I painted a room, like a closet for her. And it was pretty little Mexican, aren't you?

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is insane. Yeah, and they're all at very high, so he's not affirming them in like an actual interesting arbitrage way where he's like stretching out in four payments at 0% interest. You don't know what any of this.

[Chelsea]

I didn't know it could go that high.

[Caleb Hammer]

It's even worth on a firm.

[Mike]

Well, they always update it because I always make my payments on time and I always purchase things that they.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, your payments on time of like your 40 payments for one purchase. You're still losing so much in interest. It doesn't matter.

[Mike]

Oh, I got it right now. And tools hold their value. Tools.

[Caleb Hammer]

Do you sell them?

[Mike]

Well, I won't sell them because I. I need them. I do need them.

[Caleb Hammer]

Every single one. I know tool people like you. I've had many tool people like you always get more tools than you need. Nicer tools than you need. Huh?

[Mike]

$8,000 for tools is not a lot. Plus Airbnb was on there, so.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, Airbnb was on there. It was also. It was like a 15 month one for Austin. Yeah, it was like a full year's worth of payments.

[Mike]

Yeah, but the thing is, they do hold their value.

[Caleb Hammer]

You're marrying a poor. Your dad's gonna be very disappointed. Yeah, I don't think he cares about the Cuban thing. I think he cares that you're poor. I've been like, you're affirming 12, like a Airbnb for a year at 33% interest rate.

[Chelsea]

Yeah, that's weird.

[Mike]

Okay, misses, I buy coffees every day, three times a day.

[Chelsea]

But I pay him off. I paid it off. I bought the coffee.

[Mike]

No, you didn't.

[Chelsea]

I didn't affirm it.

[Mike]

The only reason you can't use your credit card on coffee is because you're have. You're maxed out on your credit card.

[Chelsea]

It doesn't bother me.

[Mike]

I wonder why it doesn't bother you. Because if you ask your dad for 500, you probably give it to you. Am I right? Because who do I have? Who do I have to support me not you. Because I can't ask you for money because you're already broke. I can't ask my parents for money because I am independent from my parents. I like to be independent from everybody. I like to do things solo. That's why all the debt's on me. Because I like to do things by myself.

[Chelsea]

Well, that's good for you.

[Caleb Hammer]

What? You don't have that desire for you?

[Chelsea]

I want. I mean in the future.

[Mike]

No you don't. No you don't. You want your dad to be around forever.

[Chelsea]

I want my dad to be around forever.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, to spoil you. To make sure you never have to worry about anything.

[Mike]

Because I want to like travel and do things and everything but. And move away at least an hour so I can do my thing, you know, like get a higher paying job in essence so I don't have to do another job so I can spend time with her. So like if we have to like live three hours away from your father, you're going to throw a fit.

[Chelsea]

I'm not willing to do that.

[Caleb Hammer]

Starbucks is bull and a waste of money and you already know that by making your coffee at home and investing the rest. Now you need to do that with your energy drink as well. Make gamer subs at home for just 40 cents a serving and honestly it literally tastes better. And we proved this accidentally via a blind taste test in our Hammer Elite show Fat and Fatter. The number one ranked energy drink is game sauce.

[Mike]

Literally. The cherry flavor is insane.

[Caleb Hammer]

Listen, you can also get free samples to see if you like it or 10% off you your order at gamersupps gg or click that link in the description below. Type in code. Caleb, stop bleeding out money. Making minimum payments across multiple high interest accounts. Most Americans are spending hundreds, sometimes thousands of dollars that could be going toward actually paying down debt instead of aligning some banks pockets. And look, if you're sitting on high interest credit card debt, a car loan at 18% or oh my goodness, a payday loan charging you triple digit interest rates, you need to hear this. If you've already cut up the cards and built better financial habits but you're still drowning in interest payments, barely making progress, this is for you. I have opened my very own marketplace, a personal loan marketplace that lets you get personalized offers from multiple lenders. In one place you can see if you pre qualify in minutes and it won't impact your credit score. But here's the deal. This isn't a magic bullet. If you refinance your debt but keep swiping you're just making the profit problem worse. You still need to fix the behavior that screwed you in the first place. But if you're serious about getting out of debt faster, you could potentially lower your monthly payment by securing a single payment at a much better rate. Check out the link in the description below to see your personalized offers or go to caleb hammer.com and remember, you still got to do the work. Well, for. How far are you guys to downtown Dallas?

[Mike]

Downtown Dallas at like an hour.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, so you have a lot of range then. Because that's like the best job opportunities metro in the United States. Well, it's like you don't have to be three hours away.

[Mike]

No, like for what I'm doing.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah. But no. Even still, it's about to be the third largest metro. The GDP is almost a trillion dollars in Dallas Fort Worth alone. You're. You will have trades opportunities in Dallas.

[Mike]

I get that. But like the thing is, I would want to be closer to my job and because.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, that's fine. Well, how far away are you willing to live?

[Chelsea]

Max an hour?

[Mike]

No, but you wouldn't. Your dad wouldn't let you live in Dallas, for example.

[Caleb Hammer]

It doesn't have to be in Dallas city limits. There's like a trillion suburbs. You're in one of them.

[Mike]

I know.

[Caleb Hammer]

And you can still. What?

[Mike]

I know, but like in a nice one.

[Caleb Hammer]

And also you could. What's that nice. West Village. There you go. Live in West Village. Your dad will be proud.

[Mike]

West Village.

[Caleb Hammer]

But yes. You'll never be able to afford it, but.

[Mike]

Exactly. But the thing is.

[Caleb Hammer]

But you will when you leave him and get a wealthier white man.

[Chelsea]

Yeah, that sounds like a better idea. I didn't know he was this bad.

[Caleb Hammer]

And a.

[Chelsea]

It's so gross. I don't wanna think about it.

[Caleb Hammer]

Dude, sex isn't gross.

[Chelsea]

That's gross. Gross.

[Caleb Hammer]

Watching people have sex. Like I understand it's addictive. There's bad things Right now there's some young men that they only watch and jacking off so they're not going out and like doing things. But if you're doing it in a healthy way, like what's the gross part? Dude's the sexy.

[Chelsea]

That's not healthy though.

[Caleb Hammer]

No. Yes.

[Mike]

I'm not healthy.

[Caleb Hammer]

But no, we're all saying that.

[Mike]

Well, the thing is I'm not healthy with it. But if I do become healthy.

[Caleb Hammer]

I don't know if you can become healthy with it.

[Mike]

Probably not.

[Caleb Hammer]

You've struggled with it since seven, which is kind of crazy. Saver card. Who's this.

[Mike]

There's a bunch of saver cards.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, well, this one's at $514.83.

[Mike]

Hers.

[Chelsea]

No, one's mine.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, well, you're not paying it all off. Like you just said you.

[Chelsea]

No, I didn't say I paid it off. It off.

[Mike]

I said she was over maxed out.

[Chelsea]

Say that.

[Caleb Hammer]

Didn't she just say, I get my coffee and I pay it off?

[Chelsea]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mike]

That was her debit card.

[Chelsea]

Like my debit card that she paid off.

[Caleb Hammer]

Your debit card?

[Chelsea]

No, like, I don't offer my coffee. I could go buy it and it comes out and I don't have to like, pay it for it.

[Mike]

She's saying that her debit card pays for it because her cards are already maxed out, so she can't use her credit card for it.

[Caleb Hammer]

She's wearing a Jesus shirt. And you're jacking off to women having three ways. We. We just do not understand this. This is like, like weird. I don't think you guys are aligned on values. Yeah, you're over maxed out 14.183 above that 500 limit. You purchased 232 and allowed interest to accrue because you're spending on a card. You're only putting a minimum monthly payment, too.

[Mike]

She doesn't care about it, bro. At all. She doesn't care about her credit card. She doesn't care about it.

[Caleb Hammer]

You don't care?

[Mike]

She don't care. She's like, well, it's not. I'm young.

[Chelsea]

I literally don't.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why be with her? No, no, I understand. Okay? She's probably attractive for you and stuff like that, but like, why?

[Mike]

Why?

[Caleb Hammer]

Why attach yourself to someone that's not going to give a shit? Because she will pull down the relationship further in life without daddy and everything.

[Mike]

Is she. She will. After this conversation, I just know.

[Caleb Hammer]

Not with the response she just gave. She doesn't give a shit.

[Chelsea]

I do pay it off sometimes.

[Mike]

No, you don't.

[Caleb Hammer]

What are you paying at the gas station for eight bucks? It ain't gas.

[Chelsea]

Energy drinks.

[Mike]

Yeah, throw it.

[Caleb Hammer]

Gamer subs. Congratulations.

[Chelsea]

That was nice.

[Mike]

Lawyers.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah. You signed a document.

[Chelsea]

I'm not reaching for that.

[Caleb Hammer]

Please.

[Mike]

Because I probably want it.

[Chelsea]

Oh, it's free.

[Mike]

Yes.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, I didn't throw it at you and make you pay for it. So that's 40 cents a serving. Just like you should be making your coffees at home now instead of putting it on credit cards. You listening?

[Chelsea]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

You're gonna make your energy drinks at home now?

[Mike]

I mean, I have, but they taste better.

[Caleb Hammer]

They actually do taste better. They're incredible. Get your free samples link below with my code. Caleb, figure out what flavor you like and then once you do, order them with a 10% discount and you will be getting the energy drinks of your choice for 40 cents a serving. It's delicious. Gamersupps GG

[Chelsea]

does it taste like Red Bull queso?

[Caleb Hammer]

Red Bull's like the worst one, but I'm sure there's one that matches that flavor profile.

[Mike]

Ginger.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, I don't know what his flavor is. I haven't had that one.

[Mike]

Looks good. Wait, is your flavor coming out soon?

[Caleb Hammer]

So energy drink doordash and chick fil a raisin canes, I think. Energy drink bullshit for sure. Clean Start Car wash. Probably don't really need to do that in Dallas. Panda Express Water burger, energy drink DoorDash and McDonald's bullshit in N out. And the Austinite market, which I've never even heard of as an Austinite.

[Mike]

Austinite market. What the hell is that?

[Chelsea]

How much is it for?

[Caleb Hammer]

28.97. Oh, okay. So we might be gas.

[Chelsea]

Oh yeah. Thrifting.

[Caleb Hammer]

She's had a late fee this year so far.

[Mike]

Expected. Just expected.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, she was freaking out about you having one, but she's had one herself.

[Chelsea]

Well, there's probably a bunch on there,

[Mike]

like from Josh here.

[Chelsea]

No, it's not a joke.

[Caleb Hammer]

What do I do?

[Chelsea]

I know, I already know.

[Caleb Hammer]

I mean it's like again, like at 20 I was an adult. I was doing it. I shouldn't take any responsibility. But you're right. Among your generation, something happened where 20 year olds now are like what I was like at 15. So I don't know how to treat you. Should I treat you like the child you pretend you are and just be like, oh yeah, she'll figure it out at some point. Yeah, she's just a kid.

[Mike]

I want her to figure it out.

[Caleb Hammer]

Now I do too. But she doesn't get. She's like, I probably have more because

[Chelsea]

I do care about it being like

[Mike]

kind of independent for my family and not relying them to pay for my stuff.

[Chelsea]

My dad doesn't pay my credit cards, but he would.

[Caleb Hammer]

But he would if he knew about it, probably. Who has the one main financial auto car. Is it a car?

[Mike]

No. Consolidation?

[Caleb Hammer]

No. Why?

[Mike]

Only. Only reason I got that is because of you, kid. Because I thought I was gonna do

[Caleb Hammer]

it right, But I say don't do it unless you change your behavior. That makes no sense.

[Mike]

I didn't. But I was like, let me do it.

[Caleb Hammer]

But that's not what I advised because we actually do personal loans and everything on calebhaber.com for great rates and credit cards match people with credit cards that are great, but only if you're credit card people and you're not. And only with people who've changed their behavior before they do a consolidation on a personal loan. Which you didn't. So. No, I did not suggest that. That doesn't make any sense. Well, you're.

[Mike]

Hell yeah. But the reason I got it is because our roommate was moving out and I needed also extra money from that loan. And I think my truck's collateral for that as well. If I really. Yes.

[Caleb Hammer]

What interest rate? I think it's 28.39%. What's the point of a consolidation loan at the rate that like the worst credit cards are at anyway?

[Mike]

Because my credit cards are already that. Right.

[Caleb Hammer]

So what was the point of the consolidation then?

[Mike]

To pay off three so I could get rid of that monthly payment.

[Caleb Hammer]

So is the monthly payment.

[Mike]

My monthly payment for the sapphire preferred before the 120 used to be $300. Cause I over maxed it out. Because we went to a cruise and we over. We overdid it. We put seven grand on a five grand limit.

[Caleb Hammer]

And being told her big financial shift has not been blonde anymore. She's dyed her hair brown. But you don't look blonde to me at all.

[Mike]

Look at her roots.

[Chelsea]

No, I used to be blonde.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, you already dyed brown?

[Chelsea]

Yeah, bro. To save money.

[Caleb Hammer]

What?

[Chelsea]

To save money.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why don't you just stay blonde?

[Chelsea]

Because I'm not naturally super blonde. What are you like regular blonde?

[Mike]

She's a strawberry blonde.

[Caleb Hammer]

Isn't it costing money to dye it brown and not just leave it natural?

[Chelsea]

No, because I want to be. When I dyed it blonde, it was bleach blonde.

[Caleb Hammer]

Like so much. Leave it normal.

[Chelsea]

No, it would look bad to grow it out.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, when you grow out. I understand what you're saying. Saying. But now you'll let it go natural.

[Chelsea]

Yeah. To save money.

[Mike]

Not really. You just wanted to change your hair color, bro. Be honest. You just wanted something different.

[Chelsea]

Well, yeah, the blonde was kind of boring. But I did do it. Cuz I didn't. Didn't want to pay 155 every eight weeks anymore.

[Caleb Hammer]

$7,654.95 is what you have in your personal loan at that nearly 30% interest with 200 145.97 minimumly payment.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Chelsea]

That's crazy, dude.

[Caleb Hammer]

I know. Freedom card. What's this?

[Mike]

Mine.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, there's your, I think, dyed blonde, right?

[Mike]

Yeah,

[Caleb Hammer]

you do look Mexican in that one. And you look like a meth head in that one. Something's wrong.

[Chelsea]

I don't even know what picture it is.

[Caleb Hammer]

But you both look horrible in this picture.

[Chelsea]

I don't even know what.

[Mike]

Okay, it was a bad picture. I picked out the picture. I picked out the picture, bro. Bro, I picked out a picture.

[Caleb Hammer]

Either of you look good in that.

[Mike]

My bad.

[Caleb Hammer]

You look good in person, but it's just like. Okay. Freedom card.

[Mike]

Mine.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay?

[Mike]

I got it when I was 8. 19. I just used it, bro. I got maxed it out. Didn't know what a credit card was because my parents don't have credit cards. They didn't. They don't know what credit cards are.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, they're legal.

[Mike]

Not legal. If you swam to the beach, you would have been, you know, a citizen back in the day.

[Caleb Hammer]

So they're resting in time.

[Mike]

Yes. They came here when Castro was kicking everyone out that was, you know, prisoners.

[Caleb Hammer]

Good for them. Ended up in Buffalo, which is weird. $693. Not maxed out. Not great. Only making them a little more than the minimum, but nothing's crazy. So you owe 693.21 at A$40 a month minimum monthly payment. But you're purchasing on your other credit cards, but not this one, and the other ones. But not this one. Like what?

[Mike]

Cuz I'm scared with that one.

[Caleb Hammer]

It's. Specifically. It's the $21.

[Mike]

Sold. This one. It matters more.

[Caleb Hammer]

What?

[Mike]

It matters more.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, well, 21 months to pay that one off. Of course, the first one was like 12 years, but. And you are. And you've paid on time, too, Quicksilver. Who's this?

[Mike]

Which one?

[Chelsea]

Also him.

[Mike]

No, no, no, no, no.

[Chelsea]

I don't know what that is.

[Caleb Hammer]

223 89.

[Mike]

Mine, mine, mine.

[Chelsea]

He.

[Mike]

Well, she's an authorized user.

[Chelsea]

I don't use them.

[Caleb Hammer]

You are. Why would you want to be attached to this dude's horrible credit?

[Chelsea]

He put me on it.

[Mike]

Well, I used to pay off my cards all the time when we first started getting together.

[Caleb Hammer]

$25 minimum depayment. You're purchasing more than you put towards it while interest is occurring. See you immediately. Chicken Express. McDonald's. Bullshit. McDonald's. Goodwill. Blessed hands.

[Mike]

Blessed Hands is my barber. Okay?

[Caleb Hammer]

Don't be surprised if he's going and getting a happy ending special massages soon, by the way.

[Mike]

Oh, he's a. He's a guy. And I met him in high school.

[Caleb Hammer]

He's there No, I said soon.

[Mike]

Oh, okay. Wait, that makes sense.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah. When she's not making you come. Yeah.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Caleb Hammer]

The saber cards paid off every month, so I'm not gonna freak out about this one. Someone's buying Amazon. Yeah, it is a lot of credit cards. Well, okay. Credit cards are done. Someone who has a chase checking account. Me started with $44. It's crazy. You want it? Do you want a traditional. What do you want this relationship to be like? You want to be a trad wife?

[Chelsea]

No.

[Mike]

I think so because she said that she doesn't want to. She wants to have a baby and then take a year off of work.

[Chelsea]

One year. But I want a career.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, that's not trad, though. This is a year off of work,

[Chelsea]

not her whole life, huh? I want a career.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. Yeah, you're going to be a teacher. Making our kids more. But I'm just concerned if he's going to be the breadwinner. $44 is a scary beginning. Balance anything at 235 at least. But still not good enough. Apple bill, Netflix coffee, McDonald's. Tom Thumb, Japanese. Thomas Forbes Jr. The county seat O Face flavors county seat.

[Mike]

That was at the sipping drinking shop.

[Caleb Hammer]

Strip club. What?

[Chelsea]

It's like a bar.

[Mike]

It's a bar that we go to to buy trinkets and stuff. They have like vendors and stuff to go out there.

[Caleb Hammer]

There 20Amazon like energy drinkers and water burgers. Subway, Waffle House, Panda Express, Apple Bill. If you. Buddy, if you want to pay off your debt and you want to fix the financial situation, why is it pages and pages of you're going out like twice a day minimum. Tom Thumb, McDonald's van line monkeys, Village Bird, Bird Biscuit, A whole coffee La La Land brand shop.

[Chelsea]

That's all in Austin.

[Caleb Hammer]

That was bar partners. You could have afford it. Museum of the white where weird. Oh yeah, the D cut off Austin Souvenirs. Jackalop Austin, you guys, it's the same state. You're. Why are you bringing souvenirs? We're traveling from like Ohio is.

[Mike]

Austin is a different culture here than it is in.

[Caleb Hammer]

It's walkable.

[Mike]

It's.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, I mean uptown's walkable as well. You know Dallas as the city's liberal and uptown's very walkable in Dallas. Uptown is very walkable in Dallas. What are you talking about? I know Austin. I almost moved to uptown.

[Mike]

Yes, it is the reason I'd say where you are.

[Caleb Hammer]

You're right.

[Mike]

Because there's more homeless people in Dallas that could grow.

[Caleb Hammer]

Not in uptown. There's more homeless people in Austin, objectively, than uptown.

[Mike]

Okay, yeah, you're right. Wrong.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, You're. You don't know what you're talking about. Bird app. Jackalope. Doordashing. Doordash. Doordash.

[Mike]

Doordash was in Austin.

[Caleb Hammer]

Black Rifle Coffee, Panda Express, Dutch Bros, Chipotle, McDonald's or Ranger. McDonald's is crazy. Roku Bullshit. Red River Stop. Panda Express. Apple Bell. Apple Bell. Apple Bell is probably his of maybe. Who knows? Road Ranger, Airbnb, Chicken Express, Taco bell. Bullshit. Bullshit McDonald's. Thousands spent on bullshit. Going out to eat bullshit. Miscellaneous bullshit, crazy miscellaneous bullshit. $2,000 bullshit. Food going out to eat $1,600. You can't complain about being in debt. You guys are just being kids having fun. You're okay. First bank. I'm guessing that's you.

[Chelsea]

Mm.

[Caleb Hammer]

$17 started with negative $8.95, by the way.

[Mike]

What?

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah. This is who you're gonna be with.

[Mike]

Wait, what?

[Caleb Hammer]

She doesn't give a. Look at her. She's like. No, she has down syndrome or something.

[Mike]

She overdrafted. Fucking $55. Asked for her dad to give her $100 and he gave.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, it's for all the spending she does. By the way, the connoisseur. Moby Dick's Gift Shop. Island Sports, the Islander. St. Joe's Pizza. Thrift store. Chin's. Totally. House of Sports. Cash app. Cash app. Cash app. Cash app. McDon or app. Apple Bell? Subway. I love Nelson. Spa Hill Cafe. Kit's Brewing. Paige Davidson, Brass Bonnie. Red River Stop. Bullshit. Venmo. Cash app. Wendy's. DoorDash Bullshit. Seven Brew. Bullshit. McDonald's Cafe. I love Nails. Brahms. Cash app. Taco Casa. Hills Cafe. Coffee. Lenny's Trailer. Austinite Market. Howdy's. Vintage Macy's. Wendy's. Road Ranger. Wendy's. Road Ranger 7. Brew coffee. Alex. You guys are degenerates. You know the money you make. If you weren't investing this properly, especially with the blessed situation with the house being purchased that she has, you guys would be multi, multi, multi millionaires by the time you retired. This is pathetic the way you guys are living. Pathetic in every way whatsoever. You should be embarrassed. I am. You'd have the best futures out of anyone who's been on the show if you just acted like adults.

[Chelsea]

You don't go to McDonald's. Everyone's right.

[Caleb Hammer]

I could afford it. And unfortunately, no, I'm banned from McDonald's.

[Mike]

Oh, he's on a diet.

[Caleb Hammer]

My girlfriend. Well, not really. I'm kind of flatlined but even still, I don't want to gain.

[Chelsea]

Whoa. I mean, we work out so we can eat.

[Caleb Hammer]

$1,213.97. That's your minimum monthly payments. Now, rent, we don't really have it. Right.

[Mike]

1430.

[Chelsea]

It's 14 how?

[Caleb Hammer]

I bought the house.

[Mike]

I pay for it.

[Caleb Hammer]

Huh.

[Chelsea]

He bought it, but we paid.

[Mike]

It's LLC that purchased it.

[Caleb Hammer]

Sake. Okay, so what is it? 1,004?

[Mike]

1,430.

[Caleb Hammer]

Utilities? Gas, electric, Internet.

[Mike]

RO gas, electric, Internet. $55 for Wi Fi, $100 for water, 175 for electric.

[Caleb Hammer]

No gas.

[Mike]

No, no.

[Caleb Hammer]

330. Phone bill.

[Mike]

Phone bills was 245.

[Caleb Hammer]

What the 60?

[Mike]

Because my brother is on my line as well. Okay.

[Caleb Hammer]

180. Gas. Vroom, vroom. Drive, drive.

[Mike]

400 because I do spark, and that's a delivery thing for Walmart.

[Caleb Hammer]

Car insurance. What about your gas?

[Mike]

I pay for it.

[Caleb Hammer]

So 100 total.

[Mike]

400 total.

[Caleb Hammer]

400.

[Mike]

400.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh.

[Mike]

400 total. And then 284 for insurance, 600 for

[Caleb Hammer]

groceries, totally fine meal plan, TP fund. Anything else to survive. $200. Tampons, makeup, haircuts, all that good stuff. Medical healthcare. Co pays.

[Mike]

She goes to the doctor often, and she has actual debt from her doctor.

[Caleb Hammer]

What's wrong with you?

[Mike]

She.

[Caleb Hammer]

Besides, like, you look at places.

[Mike]

She has depression.

[Caleb Hammer]

Mm. So what's your CO pays?

[Chelsea]

$70.

[Caleb Hammer]

How frequently? Dr. Or therapy? I thought she was the only.

[Mike]

A week. $70.

[Caleb Hammer]

You're anti therapy, but you have depression?

[Chelsea]

Yeah.

[Mike]

She doesn't want to talk to a therapist.

[Caleb Hammer]

Who are you going to for 80 or 70 hours a week?

[Mike]

Her.

[Chelsea]

My doctor.

[Mike]

Her physician, bro. Like her what?

[Caleb Hammer]

Clint, she goes to what, a week?

[Chelsea]

Not a week. I don't go every week.

[Mike]

Yeah, you do. You take off work for that reason.

[Chelsea]

And they I owe two. 70.

[Mike]

You gave them more than three doctor's notes this year, and we're only in May.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, wait, but that's not once a week, though.

[Mike]

No, no, no, no. This month has been once a week.

[Caleb Hammer]

Is it 280 bucks a month or not? What is it? What do you think CO pays? What do you think?

[Chelsea]

I don't know. I pay like 270 in copays this month. So how are.

[Mike]

Yeah, exactly.

[Caleb Hammer]

Does he keep going to the doctor? Why?

[Chelsea]

Cause he keeps changing my medicine.

[Caleb Hammer]

What, that quick?

[Mike]

Yes.

[Chelsea]

Yeah. Cause if I don't think it works, I'm not taking it. So I go back.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. Yeah. You're horrible, Mom. No.

[Chelsea]

I don't want to take medicine for no reason.

[Caleb Hammer]

But you don't know. It takes time for something to work out.

[Mike]

Well, she doesn't want to talk about her problems with anybody you don't go to. Her doctor advised her to go to therapy, but she doesn't want just doctor.

[Caleb Hammer]

What about the one who. Psychiatrist.

[Mike]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Chelsea]

Oh, I don't talk to them.

[Caleb Hammer]

That's the one who's better at prescribing medicine usually. Dude, you got. You're weird.

[Chelsea]

Just see my regular doctor.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, shut the up. $80. You have no hope. $80 a month for subscriptions. Anything else that needs to be in this budget? You have any pets?

[Mike]

Yes, we. Pug, actually.

[Chelsea]

His name's Apollo.

[Mike]

He's two years old.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. 50 bucks for pet insurance. How much for pet food?

[Mike]

It's around like 40 bucks.

[Chelsea]

Okay.

[Caleb Hammer]

Anything else that needs to be in here?

[Mike]

Do you have anything? Anything else? Well, she also makes 185 every two weeks with her dad because I clean offices.

[Chelsea]

I clean his office.

[Mike]

So. Yeah, so add that to income as well. We don't have any other subscriptions or anything.

[Chelsea]

I think we've added all up before.

[Mike]

I did. You didn't care about it because you didn't want to listen to.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, so a couple things you mentioned in the green room. You have a best buy credit card.

[Mike]

Yeah, it's at 1. 53.

[Caleb Hammer]

I used it for $153.

[Mike]

$853.

[Caleb Hammer]

What's your minimum? Asshole.

[Mike]

$30.

[Caleb Hammer]

The.

[Mike]

Sorry, bro, I didn't hear you. You like, actually, but your minimum $30.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. Oh, what is this? It's an upstart as well.

[Mike]

Oh, yeah. That's two grand for. For another two credit cards because I have five in total.

[Caleb Hammer]

Dude, there shouldn't be more at this point. Oh, minimum depayment is 70 bucks. 70 me, man. Okay, so now it's $5,177.97 cents a month. Dude, what the is wrong with you?

[Chelsea]

Are all the credit cards.

[Caleb Hammer]

How much does she get with her dad?

[Mike]

Yeah, one. Wait. 175. What?

[Caleb Hammer]

You get 175 per.

[Mike]

Per two weeks. So twice.

[Caleb Hammer]

That doesn't really. Okay, but even still, if you combine 6450, which I don't even know if we should at this point. It's just like, what a mess this is. Okay, you have an extra 12. 72. Let's give you 272 in fun money.

[Chelsea]

So I feel like we do pretty good if we have extra money.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, that's not how this works.

[Mike]

Because all we're gonna do with the extra money is to do stupid that we have been doing the top of your document.

[Caleb Hammer]

Where is it? There it is. You have it. Okay.

[Mike]

How much will you spend last month? Does that say 12 grand?

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah.

[Mike]

How much did we make?

[Chelsea]

Babe, maybe.

[Mike]

Come on, babe, maybe you don't know where this is.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, that's not your actual income because they're like Zells and stuff. It was weird. You guys made like actually like it was like almost 5,000. Okay. Either way doesn't really matter. Listen, it takes two years to pay off. That's totally fine. And I give you a fun budget that people don't get of almost $300 and save up a six month emergency fund. Then live 50, 30, 20 for the rest of your life. You guys will be multi millionaires. This is the easiest thing ever. You're just a spoiled and you have no self control. That's a crazy. I want to see how you guys text each other. Oh really?

[Mike]

Okay.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yes. I'm going to be going through that in the post show. We're also going to call her dad in the post show. There's also something else absolutely crazy. Okay, we'll see. So make sure to join us in the post show. Let's get the Hammer Financial Score. Spending in a budget. Overspend 010 dad. No collections. I'm doing household here.

[Mike]

I do have collections. A thousand and then six hundred.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why am I finding out debts an hour 36 minutes in zero out of ten don't yourself. No savings. 0:10. No retirement. 0:10. Who's on the title for the house? Just the dad, not you. So 0 out of 10 go yourself. You have access to the LLC does it okay. Hammer financial score 0 out of 10. Get yours@kayla perm.com join hammerly click the join button. Get three premium shows posted every single day, six days a week. Join us for the extra 20 minutes of this episode Call the financial auto post show. It's gonna be a good one. We're gonna call the dad and I'm gonna fucking expose this guy, bro. Oh. See you there Paul. Her dad and admit to your crimes. Wait, you have to call her.

[Mike]

Oh, that is insane.

[Caleb Hammer]

Hey.

[Mike]

So we're on the show and I just got exposed for only and I also watch and they wanted me to

[Caleb Hammer]

tell you that June 1st first I'm launching the Hammer Elite app available on every major platform. Join the waitlist by using the link in the description or pinned comment down below to get a never before seen financial audit video and then an exclusive offer just for you. You'll get lifetime access to the entire Hammer Elite catalog. And our Hammer for Lifebox, packed with limited edition merch. So mark your calendar. June 1st. This is the best membership you'll ever join, and that is a promise.