Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Is Mad I Won't F*ck Her | Financial Audit

Summary

Financial Audit Podcast: “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Is Mad I Won’t F*ck Her” | Financial Audit

Host: Caleb Hammer
Guest: Natalie (34, San Diego, CA)
Date: March 6, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode features Natalie, a 34-year-old quality assurance specialist from San Diego. Caleb attempts to conduct a standard Financial Audit, but the episode quickly swerves into Natalie's tumultuous personal history, her fixation on an ex-boyfriend, her expensive BDSM hobbies, and her growing financial chaos. The tone is consistently chaotic, confrontational, and peppered with explicit language and dark humor. Underneath the abrasive banter, Caleb tries to help Natalie understand just how dire her financial situation is, but her self-deprecating, provocative attitude disrupts almost every attempt at a serious intervention.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Natalie’s Personal Background and Relationship Drama

• Natalie arrives extremely fixated on her ex-boyfriend, who is 41 and left her for a 21-year-old.
  • Caleb immediately notes her bitterness and how her whole identity seems wrapped around this breakup.
  • (02:49) B: “He broke up with me.”
  • (03:53) B: “BDSM stuff made me broke as well.”
• She lived with this ex for six months post-breakup, in a highly open/alternative relationship.
• Natalie feels excluded from her kink/BDSM community after expressing trans-exclusionary views.
  • (16:06) B: “I also did get kicked out of the community… I had the audacity to say I would like to have a ladies night for actual ladies, not men in dresses.”

2. Sexuality, Boundaries, and Community Cancellation

• Natalie’s sex-positive identity is entangled with her finances—expensive parties, outfits, gear.
• Fallout from being outspoken about “ladies only” events has led to social isolation and further fixation on past relationships.
  • (23:25) B: “I have a right to hate an entire group of people because they’re all awful.”
  • Caleb pushes back: “You can’t assign an entire group one singular opinion.” (20:21)
• Conversation repeatedly derails into controversial hot takes, especially about trans identity, with Caleb playing “devil’s advocate” and pushing for nuance.

3. Financial Situation: Complete Crisis

• Job & Income: Quality assurance specialist, $35/hr (~$3,600/mo net)
  • San Diego’s cost of living renders this insufficient for independence.
  • (02:12) B: $35/hr; (03:13) B: ~$3,600/mo net; (33:26) B: $2,000/mo rent.
• Spending Habits:
  • Huge outflows: $8,472 in one month (vs. $3,663 income)—largely impulsive purchases.
    • Outfits and gear for parties she’s been banned from.
    • Sex toys, leather goods, frequent takeout, gifts for exes, books, and more.
    • (39:00) A: “Outflow was $8,472. How does that make sense?”
  • Credit card dependency for day-to-day expenses.
  • Multiple anecdotes of financial irresponsibility (Amazon carts full of stuff, buying vibrators over paying rent, premium pet care, paying ex’s bills).
• Debt Stack: Over $25,000 in consumer debt, spread over multiple credit cards and payment plans.
  • (44:29) A: “It’s $25,455.22.”
  • Only aware of half her actual debt until the audit.
• Budgeting: No real budgeting in place; no tracking of interest accrued; alternates between denial and defensiveness.
  • (53:04) B: “I didn’t realize it was that bad.”
  • (53:15) A: “How can you tell me you want to change your life when you haven’t downloaded a budget app?”
• Family Obligations: Supports her mother (in recovery after coma) and stepdad (who fell for a romance scam), covering their utilities and cell phone, which further exhausts her budget.

4. Denial, Deflection, and Desire for Quick Solutions

• Frequent denial/minimization of debt’s severity.
• Defensive, sarcastic replies to any suggestion for accountability or change.
• Continues to express desire for costly “rewards” (motorcycle, sex dungeon) instead of debt repayment:
  • (76:47) B: “My reasons to live.” (re: dungeon and motorcycle)
  • (76:54) A: “So we go into double or triple our debts.”
• Every pragmatic suggestion (better job, family cost-sharing, budgeting) is batted away with a quip or justification.
  • (81:04) A: “Your priorities are whack… you just need to get a job. You are not respected in capitalism in San Diego.”

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Notable Quotes & Moments

Bluntest Insults & Realizations

• Caleb (regularly): “You are a dick.”
  — Refrain woven through as Natalie’s behavior derails the show.
• Natalie: “I have a right to hate an entire group of people… cause they’re all awful.” (23:25)
• Caleb, challenged on being too “woke” by Natalie:
  “You’re out here making me look like the wokest motherfucker ever…” (25:49)
• Caleb: “How could you spend that much if a fourth went to income, you dumb bitch?” (40:26)
• Natalie: “I think I’m a San Diego 8.” (43:59) — Caleb: “That was the best joke anyone’s ever said in this studio.” (44:03)
• Caleb: “You can’t do this. You can’t do this on your own.” (49:53)
• Natalie: “If I cut them off, now I’m better off financially.” (80:13) — Caleb: “Are you going to? No. Okay.”

Deepest Financial Reality Check

• Caleb (53:09):
  “How, you haven’t looked once? …You can’t tell me you’re using an Excel sheet… You didn’t even know how much interest is accruing.”
• On debt minimums:
  “Your debt minimums alone are $771.67, while your rent is $2,000… $890.70 underwater.” (81:19)
• On budgeting philosophy:
  “Get out of debt, have a fully funded emergency fund, then your retirement’s… okay. 50/30/20.” (79:24)

Most Surreal & Absurd Moments

• Natalie accidentally (or not) exposes herself to Caleb with a provocative photo, then shrugs it off.
  • (06:30) A: “You are literally, unconsensually… showing me a picture… Your nipple is literally there and your pussy is right there.”
• Caleb’s exasperation reaches a peak after repeated deflection:
  • (41:06) A: “Dude. Oh my… Are you unable to have a conversation? …I’m crashing out on her. Oh my goodness, she’s such a dumb bitch.”
• Natalie admits to being unrelentingly fixated on exes, refuses to take accountability, blames others for consequences in both relationships and social circles.

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Important Timestamps

• 1:42 — Natalie briefly introduces herself.
• 2:10–4:00 — Income, breakup, and entering single financial life.
• 13:26 — Still living with ex-partner post-breakup.
• 16:06–23:30 — Exclusion from kinky community due to trans-exclusionary statements; debate about gender inclusion.
• 33:26 — Renting alone: $2,000/month.
• 39:00 — Major spending imbalance revealed.
• 44:29 — Full scale of credit card debt unveiled ($25k+).
• 53:13 — Admission of lacking budgeting or debt tracking.
• 76:47–78:00 — Fantasy goals (motorcycle/dungeon) vs. financial reality.
• 81:04 — Final budget reveals $890+ monthly deficit.

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Conclusion: Final Recommendations from Caleb

• Natalie cannot survive financially on her current income and lifestyle.
• Priorities (big purchases & sex dungeon) must be shelved for debt repayment and basic budget discipline.
• Strong recommendation: Seek higher paying work or consider bankruptcy if unable to correct course.
• Responsibility for family needs to be shared among siblings.
• Self-reflection and accountability are urgently lacking (“You are a dick… I was a dick to you, seventh apology. Hopefully you accept it. I don’t.” — 88:14).

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Bottom Line:
This episode veers from financial audit to psychological case study on self-sabotage, unresolved trauma, and the technological ease of financial self-destruction. It is a rollercoaster of dark comedy, with Caleb’s frustration and Natalie’s provocations on full display. While the numbers are bleak, the real story is Natalie’s resistance to change—both financial and personal—with only the tiniest glimmer of hope afforded by her retirement savings and the off chance she’ll heed a single piece of advice.

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For More:

• Watch new episodes early on YouTube
• Key Quote: “Get a better job. You’re not respected in capitalism in San Diego.” (81:04)

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[B]

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[B]

No. I had the audacity of saying I would like to have a ladies night that is for actual ladies, not men in dresses.

[A]

You just hate an entire group of people.

[B]

I have a right to hate an entire group of people. Cause they're all awful.

[A]

I've had transgender people on this show. I wouldn't say they're all awful.

[B]

Well, were they the kind where they're actual transsexuals or are they just people who want attention?

[A]

Oh, I hear your current boyfriend is actually annoyed at you that all you do is talk about your ex. And that's not surprising because I'm so annoyed at you. Just talking to you and being around you and it's only been an eye. Hey, I'm crashing out on her. Oh my goodness, she's such a dumb.

[B]

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[A]

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[B]

Hi, my name is Natalie. I'm 34 years old from San Diego, California. And this is Financial Audit.

[A]

Yes it is. Thanks for coming over to Austin from my dream city. Hope to end up there someday if California gets their shit together. What do you do for a living in San Diego? Because woo, that's an expensive place, let me tell you.

[B]

I'm a quality assurance specialist.

[A]

Oh, I hope you make some money. Do you? What do you make?

[B]

If you ask my ex, I don't make Good enough money, but I do make.

[A]

Well, I'm not asking your ex.

[B]

I make 34 an hour.

[A]

Okay. You're really holding on to some stuff from your previous relationship, aren't you? If the first thing that enter your head when I ask what's your income is. Well, my ex would think that's not very much.

[B]

Well, he pays his employees minimum 80 an hour, so 35 is nothing.

[A]

His employees. Okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Well why does he judge what. Well, they probably are in an industry that demands that. I don't know. That's weird. Okay. I mean I'm being told for what it's worth that all you do is talk about your ex and that you're kind of jaded. I don't know you like that. That is what I am being told you do. We'll see. I mean that's not necessarily a really healthy thing to. Who broke up with him?

[B]

He broke up with me.

[A]

There it is. That's why she. She's the bitter ex girlfriend and the bitter fired former employer.

[B]

The better right to be better though the shit he put me through. Uh huh.

[A]

I'm sure I want to hear about it.

[B]

No, I mean you're going to.

[A]

Not yet. I'm sure it'll come up, but I don't want to. Just tell me your income again.

[B]

I make 35 an hour and I'm hourly.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And I.

[A]

What does that result to per paycheck? And once that paycheck cycle every two

[B]

weeks, it's like 1800 every two weeks.

[A]

Okay. 3, 600 bucks a month net in San Diego? Yeah. How the are you living on that? That's not. Let's not like you don't do well on that in San Diego.

[B]

Yeah, well, I spent a lot.

[A]

So this is why you're bitter? Because the rich ex is no longer there via. I'm assuming he broke up with you, so reasons because of you. So now you have no money to survive on your own, which has made you the bitter ax. I think now I understand why this conversation started that way also. Okay.

[B]

BDSM stuff made me broke as well.

[A]

Huh. That doesn't make any sense.

[B]

It will when I tell you about it.

[A]

It made you broke. How did it make you broke?

[B]

I smell.

[A]

No, I think you're jaded. X. He was able to pay for all the bills and subsidize your lifestyle. Come on, I'm reading this. No. What? He broke up with you, you immediately bring him up. First thing I'm being told. All you do is talk about him.

[B]

One year old he's 41. He abandoned me for a 21 year old. So. No, it's because she.

[A]

What does that mean, because she? Why are you focused on that? Is that not an adult?

[B]

We broke up, but we still live. And he just spent this past year telling me that I'm a piece of shit and I'm not as good as the 21 year old.

[A]

Okay, well, I mean, I'll be honest. That's weird. But it's literally only your perspective as the person who got and broke it up with, for what it's worth. So I take that with a incredibly small grain of salt, let's be honest. But I don't really care who someone ends up with. That doesn't mean it's the reason they broke up with you. Like, people end up with people after they break up with people. That's kind of something that happens naturally.

[B]

Broke up. We had an open relationship. We met at my 33 son birthday party.

[A]

So don't let your girlfriend stand in the way of your wife type of situation.

[B]

I guess, kind of, yeah. I saw myself as his future wife.

[A]

And he did not see you as that.

[B]

I mean.

[A]

Sorry.

[B]

He did initially. That's why we moved in together. The whole purpose of moving in together was to see if we were compatible enough to have kids, get married, all that fun stuff. And then as soon as, basically we started exploring ivf, because I can't have kids without ivf. He was there at the appointments and I think the second.

[A]

Okay, pause. Let me see a picture of this guy. He's not gonna be put on screen, but let me see a picture of this guy and then let me see a picture of the 21 year old.

[B]

I don't have a picture of that bitch. I have her blocked on everything.

[A]

Okay, well, I will pull the bitch up because you probably know her name because I know for a fact you know her name.

[B]

I know her first name.

[A]

Oh, come on. She's probably tagged in his pictures, right?

[B]

No, he doesn't post pictures. Really? He's not really.

[A]

There's no way you don't know. You can look at your blocked accounts. There's no way you. Someone who's freaking out so much about their ex the way I would, doesn't know her name.

[B]

It'll know she. It'll show her.

[A]

I'm looking at her profile. I'm going to look.

[B]

You can't look at it. You don't have a membership to the

[A]

website, her Instagram or Facebook.

[B]

I can try to find it, but anyway, here's A picture of him.

[A]

I don't need a. What website? Is this you?

[B]

Yeah, back when I was hot.

[A]

I know. You just turned up. You literally. Okay, do you know what you just did here?

[B]

I showed you a picture of him with me.

[A]

You are literally, unconsensually. I did not ask for this. Showing me a picture.

[B]

I'm covered.

[A]

You are not. Your nipple is literally there and your pussy is right there. I'm seeing her literal vagina and face.

[B]

I have an outfit on. I. I pulled it.

[A]

This was. I did not ask for this, nor did I want it.

[B]

Here's us at a ren faire. How's that? With my dog?

[A]

Well, I appreciated it. It's the. Yeah. This dude. What the.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Oh, my goodness. You would let this man dominate you? I'm assuming. I'm assuming. But he is a big, big lumberjack.

[B]

Lumber Snack was his nickname.

[A]

Okay, let's find this woman, because I understand, first of all, if. If it's. Oh, okay, yeah, let's get both of those pictures and let's blur that first picture so that the audience can understand what I went through. Blur it? What the. How'd you just do that? Just casually do that?

[B]

You asked for a picture of him. I pulled up a picture.

[A]

You pulled up. Literally, it was his tit full. I was more focused on areola, tit and vaginal.

[B]

No, it was not.

[A]

It's just a boob. Yeah, and how would that work if I showed a woman just a dick of me?

[B]

Good for her. I want to see it.

[A]

What do you mean by that?

[B]

You want to show me?

[A]

No. No, I do not. If this was reversed, you would be so canceled right now.

[B]

I've already been canceled in real life. So cancel me online. I don't care.

[A]

Oh, okay. Shit. I think you guys are starting to get her personality. I know I am. Pull up. Let's see who we left for. I don't think we're going to be surprised.

[B]

I honestly have forgotten her name, so.

[A]

Bullshit.

[B]

You're so uptight. Caleb, calm down.

[A]

Bullshit.

[B]

Calm down.

[A]

Not uptight. I'm a fucking Gooner. I'm like Gooner Prime. What do you mean? I'm like, the least.

[B]

Okay, so if you. How about you go to his Instagram and I'm sure she's on there?

[A]

That's what I said.

[B]

I mean, on his friends list.

[A]

Yes. Go to his Instagram. If this is your big thing, that a guy kicks you out for someone hotter.

[B]

Not hotter, just younger and stupid.

[A]

Says the jaded ex girlfriend who unconsensually shares her. Is that a kink of yours? There's no way. You did not. There's no way. You accidentally showed me your literal vagina.

[B]

That was an accident.

[A]

I did not want to see that.

[B]

And you didn't see it. You saw like the frontal clothed outfit. Girl, you're overreacting.

[A]

I saw your pussy.

[B]

You're overreacting.

[A]

And your literal tits. I've never had that happen on this show, nor have I ever welcome ask for it to happen. No, I would not. And I don't want.

[B]

There's the 21 year old. See? Didn't leave me for someone hotter. Just younger and stupider and easier to control. That's what older guys like to do.

[A]

I don't know. I. Who we don't know how they met. You're. You're projecting a lot.

[B]

We met at my 33. Some themed birthday party.

[A]

30 threesome?

[B]

Yeah, that was my idea. I turned 33 and we had a 30 threesome themed birthday party.

[A]

What does that mean? Is that just everyone?

[B]

Well, my I. My goal is I wanted every type of threesome to happen at my birthday party. The only one that didn't happen is like three guys. I'm really disappointed about that.

[A]

I think she's more attractive by like 1 on the 1 out of 10 skills. But it wasn't like. You're right, it wasn't like that big of an upgrade. Maybe you're just miserable to be around and impossible to be in a relationship with. Jaded ex.

[B]

Listen. No, I'm an awesome girlfriend, okay?

[A]

You wouldn't be left.

[B]

I just told you I had a 33 some birthday party. That was my idea that we hosted. How am I not an awesome girlfriend?

[A]

Not every guy wants that. Lots of people are trading. Lots of people are fun. Lots of people are not. It's like. It's okay.

[B]

Speaking of birthdays, I made you something for your birthday. It's kind of where my money went. By the way, to make it. I was gonna give to you on Friday, but then you were sick.

[A]

I was sick?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Very rare.

[B]

I saw you from across the room and you looked and sounded like shit. So I was like, okay, he's not faking it, but so don't fake being sick. Your birthday was also on Valentine's Day, so this is for you.

[A]

Well, I already consensually, unconsensually got one gift from you. Let's get a second.

[B]

You're not gonna like it, but you're gonna love it. It'll make sense. I made these for you. They're nipple clamps with a cute little C and a little hammer on it. Get it? And it's green. Colton said your favorite color is green. Like money. I made this. It's a matching pair. And wait, because your birthday's on Valentine's Day, I made you an attachable little heart chain so you hook them to both of them and you can hold around. It's a birthday gift for you and your girlfriend. You're welcome. These are for you. I'm gonna put it in the box.

[A]

How's my girlfriend gonna feel that I saw your pussy today?

[B]

She might like it. Happy birthday and Happy Valentine's Day.

[A]

Thank you. I appreciate it. Okay, so I just. I. I don't understand how you're surviving today. There is no possible way on less than $4,000 a month as a single, probably permanently, woman in San Diego single

[B]

is seeing people stop the cap.

[A]

Yeah, but are you living with them? Are you in committed relationship? When did you get broken up with Jaded X? Huh? Because that seems to be where this is all stemming from. Jaded X.

[B]

May of last year.

[A]

Okay, why the are you clinging? How long were you guys together?

[B]

About three years.

[A]

Okay, fine. Okay, fine. But even still, it's like he broke

[B]

up with me, but we still live together for like six more months.

[A]

After that long, I became.

[B]

He called me a bitch for so long, I just became one.

[A]

Maybe. I mean, you're just. But you're the one acting like that right now. Someone who can't get over someone. I can also throw him under the bus for everything. Maybe he wasn't perfect. I don't know. But if I can't get his side here. All I'm reading is you literally only talked about him with the pre production staff. You. You're.

[B]

You're freaking out about the person. I tested those clamps out myself.

[A]

Okay, good. That's great.

[B]

So they're good quality.

[A]

Okay, so is that your way of deflecting from any kind of self reflection? Any kind of taking accountability? No. Welcome to 2026.

[B]

People won't take accountability since the breakup.

[A]

Yeah. You must be getting an enablement therapist because those happen. Someone that's actually not willing to challenge your. You know the best therapist I got. It's the dude we took on the the plane with us in that plane video. I've used him ever since. He's someone that calls me a dumb of shit when I'm being a dumb. He calls me on my shit. He gives me the tough love that I need. He doesn't just Enable me. He puts me in my place.

[B]

So he doesn't take you to sex parties.

[A]

Hey. Yo. What the fuck? Oh my gosh. Okay. Are you just gonna be obnoxious the whole time? Are you gonna take this seriously or what are you doing?

[B]

I'm taking it seriously. I'm trying to get to where I explain to you where all. Where all my men are.

[A]

In no real world would a serious person say. So your therapist doesn't take you to sex party. Shut.

[B]

That's not what I said.

[A]

It's not cute. What? What did you say then?

[B]

I said. Well, you said your friend. I didn't realize it was your therapist. I don't know this what I said.

[A]

My therapist.

[B]

I misunderstood you. But the plain thing. I don't know what you're talking about.

[A]

That's okay. It's for the community, not for you.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

So where a lot of my money.

[A]

How are you surviving?

[B]

Well, credit cards.

[A]

Okay. Since May. Credit cards.

[B]

No, we still live together now.

[A]

Still?

[B]

I just moved out because that. Remember?

[A]

So he was her while you were in the cuck.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Position.

[B]

Not just her literally, like he. People downstairs.

[A]

Yeah, they sound like freaks. Yeah, I mean, honestly, it sounds fun. But this is not for every relationship. Like I'm.

[B]

Yeah, that part. I mean, it was my kink when we were together. But afterwards.

[A]

No, your opinion doesn't matter when you're not his girlfriend.

[B]

But we live together.

[A]

The barely matters. I mean, he should have in front of you if it's not consensual. But I know you aren't good with those boundaries.

[B]

I am.

[A]

Oh no. I've never had someone pass boundaries the way you have this episode. Luckily I'm not a weird freak that like. Oh my. I like I don't really care. But it was, you know, if the roles were reversed. There is a double standard that is egregious.

[B]

I don't agree with that.

[A]

You don't agree with that?

[B]

Send me a dick pic. That's fine.

[A]

No, no. Because you just asked for it. But if I literally did before anything, my career would be done.

[B]

It's not only if you send it.

[A]

No one gives up what you just did. Just stop. Stop. This is not what this episode is about. Okay, okay. So you guys are in an open freaky relationship. He decided you were not the person and now you've moved out. Okay, who gives a move on this? This should not be the entire conversation.

[B]

Well, that's also why I'm trying to figure out my finances now. Now that I am.

[A]

You already knew you were broken up since maybe. So get your shit together. Knowing that you likely wouldn't live there anymore because these bitches.

[B]

Took me a long time to find a place on my own because it's California. I did try for, like, six months to try to find my own place, and I finally found one, and now I'm on my own findings.

[A]

Now, this actually does play into the situation, for what it's worth, with the note that I just got. I mean, your entire life revolves around this shit, which is kind of crazy. And I think we're understanding you're a pervert and we love perverts. Perverts are good. I am, too. Who cares?

[B]

We're the best.

[A]

Okay, but your entire life revolves around it. That seems a little pathetic. Yeah, but, like, once that's your entire community, and now it's, like, stripped from you because he's there. You met him in the community, and then he met her in the community, and now you're just.

[B]

Well, I mean, the problem is you've

[A]

lost all your friends.

[B]

I also did get kicked out of the community. No. I had the audacity of saying, I would like to have a ladies night that is for actual ladies, not men in dresses. So I got canceled and I got kicked out because I don't believe that men who claim that they're women are women. And so I'm no longer welcomed.

[A]

Okay, well, that community sounds like they support that, so. Are you surprised?

[B]

It's cult. It's cult.

[A]

I mean, this is, like, their values and what they support. Are you surprised?

[B]

Yeah, but I would like to go to a party for women and feel comfortable there and have a good time and not have to pander to some dude in a dress who's like, I'm a woman. Because I say you're so. And you have to treat me like it. I'm lazy.

[A]

But. But if that's that community, it's like,

[B]

no, it should have been a community for.

[A]

But it sounds like it's not. That's what I'm trying to say.

[B]

And that's what I'm saying.

[A]

I'm devil's advocating, like, I don't give. If I was going to a sex party and all of a sudden a dick ended up in my mouth, you know, it's not really what I'm hoping for. I get it.

[B]

But.

[A]

But. But if that's what the community is, I would have that expectation and know that.

[B]

But that's the thing. I didn't even say, let's cancel that group. That does it. I just said to a friend outside of a party casually, or who I thought was my friend, I just casually said, yeah, I don't like going to the ladies nights because men in dressing.

[A]

I mean, I mean, really surprised. I'm sorry, are you really surprised that you were in the freaky community in San Diego, California, and they're not a little virtue signaling on everything.

[B]

They're also virtuous sibling. Why do you think I'm kicked out?

[A]

Yeah, I mean, kicked out because how

[B]

dare I have, you know.

[A]

Well, such as that you again, you already knew the opinion. You shouldn't be surprised.

[B]

I'm surprised because it wasn't in the context of a part. I would get it if like I'm at ladies night and I'm like, all these dudes in dresses, I don't want them here.

[A]

First of all, I mean, why, like, what is the way you're even like talking about them, though? It's a bit weird. Like, I mean, do you not respect trans people? Like, I don't.

[B]

I respect actual trans people like Buck Angel, Blaire White, actual transsexuals. But these new age transgender, non conforming. Yeah, basically new age. Like, if you, if you're a transsexual, I respect you. If you're transgender, you're a joke because you're. It's a made up.

[A]

I don't think I know the difference.

[B]

Transsexuals acknowledge that they are biologically not the sexual they are. Again, primary. Prime example, Buck angel is a female. Acknowledges she's a female, but tries to present as a male. And she's like, yeah, I'm he, she, whatever. Like, yeah, I'm a male that I respect and he respects women's spaces. The people I'm referring to are I'm just a dude who has a fetish and I'm gonna put on a dress and take hormones and go to women's only spaces.

[A]

Hold on.

[B]

I can't stand those.

[A]

Well, I think we can have some valid conversations.

[B]

Well, not with the San Diego.

[A]

Hold on, hold on.

[B]

You try to know.

[A]

What I'm saying is there could be valid conversations about biology and sports and, you know, changes for people that are underage. Like, there's valid conversations there. But like, if no one's impacting you, who gives a people?

[B]

Why are you policing people acting if it's a women's only group and we are forced to let men in just because we don't want to be.

[A]

Hold on. For what it's worth, in a constitutional.

[B]

This is not constitutional.

[A]

Yes, it absolutely is. Absolutely. For what it's worth, it was a 1987 decision by the Supreme Court that said men's groups, like fraternal groups among adults, not people in like, college and whatnot, could not, not let women in. So all men. No pause. No pause. So all men's organizations had to let women's in. This is like the decline of male spaces. It's like an actual thing that's happened. That's why men are really lonely. It's the number one cause. But not only that. And I'm not like. But that is an actual thing. There is a double standard because there's lots of women's spaces, but those are never legally challenged. So, I mean, it is relatively fair to. You can't say, oh, we can have a woman's space when, I mean the men's space is. Under that constitutional decision from the Supreme

[B]

Court of 1997, men's groups are hardly impacted. It's so much like it's not going to up the whole system if one woman invades a man's space because women are weaker. No, I get it.

[A]

If you want to host your own sex thing and you don't want someone with like a dick there, that's fine. That's fine. But you knew the community, you know, But I'm just listening. But I'm just listening to the. Hey, shut the up now. Pisses me off. People sitting around with 25,000 in credit card debt, making minimum payments, thinking they're fine. But you're not. You're getting crushed by compounding debt every single month, every fee and point of interest, working against you while you're over here budgeting your groceries down to the last penn. And here's the truth. That balance isn't going anywhere with minimum monthly payments. It builds and builds until suddenly you've paid thousands without making any actual progress. And it's going to stay that way unless you do something. And that is where PDS debt comes in. They've already helped hundreds of thousands of people reduce what they owe, lower their payments, and get back on solid financial ground. And they're not just looking at your credit card statements. PDS that has customized options for anyone struggling with credit cards, personal loans, collections, or medical bills. And here's what I love. They understand your specific scenario and help prevent. Provide alternative solutions to becoming debt free, no minimum credit score required. They go beyond the numbers to craft a personalized plan designed just for you. They're here to help you save more, pay off your debt faster, and start putting Money back where it belongs in your pocket. Honestly, this is exactly what I'd do if I needed to rebalance my debt. Plus, they're legit A plus rated by the Better Business Bureau. Thousands of five star reviews on Google. Five star rating on Trustpilot. That doesn't just happen by accident. You are just 30 seconds away from being debt free with PDS debt. Get your free assessment and find the best option for you right now at. @pdsdet.com hammer that is pdsdebt.com hammer that's kind of stupid, I'll be honest. But what's not is actually getting a checking account that gives you free money. Free money. We like free money. You can get up to 350 in bonus cash right now when you sign up for the checking account that I use. Chime. Also, it makes your savings grow at a 3.5 APY interest rate. Guys, you can watch Financial Audit and get free money at the same time. Who would have thought? That's incredible it out. Link in the description below. Sign up for chime. Get that $350 right now in your checking account. I'm listening to the way you're talking about people. It's like, it's like, like I, I'll make jokes, but jokes are jokes. You're just kind of being like based in reality.

[B]

I have an opinion on reality.

[A]

No, I mean, I think we all agree Gender. I mean.

[B]

Yeah, so. So my one, not the current ex, but another ex of mine is a. So I would have had to let him.

[A]

It's like you're saying it in a real way. When I say something like that. I'm saying it as a joke. You're just saying that. I agree. I mean, sex agents, reminders, women's sports, and the bathroom thing, it gets them to do jacking off or biological dude jacking off in a woman's bathroom. Yeah, a couple months ago. Not a big fan of that. But the way you're doing it, it's like you're just like. You just hate an entire group of people.

[B]

I have a right to hate an entire group of people because they're all awful.

[A]

They're all awful.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I've had transgender people on the show. I wouldn't say they're all awful.

[B]

Well, were they the kind where they're actual transsexuals or are they just people who want attention?

[A]

Who is for you to say, though, oh, you can't have me sounding like full lib, like left. How are you making me sound like that person? I'm just. I just try to be. I'm, like, more libertarian. Like, I just try to respect people

[B]

and let people be more of a example.

[A]

You're being authoritarian.

[B]

Let me describe more of my perspective where I'm coming from. Not the translator, but a different ex was very abusive towards me. His family was too. We cut each other.

[A]

So because of that, I hate trans people.

[B]

Well. Cause the thing he was a dude didn't see him for, like, four years, and then randomly at the same group, which wasn't a sex group, it was a BDSM group. Sex wasn't allowed at those parties. He shows up. Haven't seen this dude for, like, four or five years, and he's a woman now.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

And I had told my friends, I'm like, hey, that same guy that I told you had been very abusive is now a woman. The person that you know as this. It's the same person. And I didn't know that. And they said, well, you know, she's trans now, so you have to forgive him for who he was before.

[A]

Well, I don't. I don't know about that, but that doesn't.

[B]

But I would have had to let him into my groups because he's a woman now.

[A]

Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Yes. I understand your perspective. Like, I don't think you should be forced to let someone into a group you don't want to. That's fine. And I don't believe in forgiving someone's abusive past just because of the transition. I'm not saying that. But no, no. The way you're just talking about, like and whatnot. Like, trust me, I roll my eyes at a lot of the performance. Performance things, too. I get it. But my goodness, it's just like, who cares, dude? Even Asmund Gold on, like, the. Right. Right. Says people's pronouns correctly. Like, you're just like. There's no point of what you're doing. Like, it just. It doesn't make any sense.

[B]

There is a point to it.

[A]

Just let people be people.

[B]

Not in my spaces. Why do I have to let you.

[A]

No, it's the way you're talking about them. I'm not saying you should force people in. I don't think men should have to force people in either. Okay, okay. But it's just the way you're talking about people.

[B]

You can't suck your dick for four years and then turn around and call you a woman. Now you're getting it. Now you're getting it.

[A]

No, I'm not. You're out here making Me look like the wokest mother ever. Like, like, dude, I'm just live and let live.

[B]

Well, you did say you want to come to California so you'll fit right in. They'll.

[A]

San Diego's like it's literally statistically the best weather in any metropolitan city in the entire world. It's destined for perfection. California's up. So no, I'm not. But I would love to. I would love to, but not with the way things are going. Absolutely not. And their downtown's a disaster anyway. It's like barely downtown. Nothing's happening. But either way, all.

[B]

All.

[A]

What a derail. It's. It just makes no sense. I just listen when people say things in a real way with real meaning. Like people slop whiny cryberry be commentary. People have been copying and pasting the same videos about me over and over again. It's just so stupid. And they're like I don't like Kale's jokes. Like I don't give a but like you're actually saying things is real. And like I agree. Don't let trans woman sports, you know, the bathroom situation or underage surgeries that are full life impacting. I get it. And the pressures upon community because now we've had a lot of pre. We've seen a lot of people deep transition post covet. Yeah, we don't just let people be though. You're not using. You're not. You're calling like you're saying words that are actually hurtful to just other humans

[B]

and like I'm hurt simply because they don't give a about women. The whole.

[A]

You don't know what people believe. You can't put people what they believe.

[B]

No, because I pushed back on it and got kicked out.

[A]

That's like saying all people on the right.

[B]

So I hate women.

[A]

And all people on the left want to tax everyone 100%. You don't know. You can't assign a group of people an entire belief system.

[B]

No one is talking about San Diego people.

[A]

You don't know. You cannot assign an entire group of people one singular opinion.

[B]

The kinky people in my vicinity, they all suck and they're all part of a cult. Then go, yeah, I just got kicked out.

[A]

No, exactly. You didn't leave. You got kicked out. Just like you got kicked out of your relationship because you're probably impossible to communicate with and be around. And I don't think I'm really surprised. Listen, I don't give a about your opinion if you don't like trans people. But Again, just the way you're even just saying things is like, I'm just like, that's not a joke. At that point, you're actually kind of just being a dick.

[B]

Because I'm being honest. I'm a dick a little because I don't want men in my spaces.

[A]

No one said that. If you actually listen to me. I didn't say that. I said that's okay. I don't care about that part.

[B]

You're okay with men being in my spaces?

[A]

Oh, my gosh, you're super. You're. You're. I just said. No, I understand that. Make your own space. And I don't think men should have had to open their spaces forcefully to women either.

[B]

Yeah, you should. Fraternal groups, you should be allowed to have your own men's group.

[A]

Except not constitutionally. Said the Supreme Court in 1987, if I'm not mistaken. Or 86. But either way, that's not what matters. That's not what matters. This is like, you know, I think I am a little upset, a little triggered that I'm being assigned people, being almost like you when I joke around. But I actually, I just like live and let live because more libertarian on life. I want people to live the lives they want to live, and I don't give a. Unless they're forcing bad things upon other people. Like I said, your space. Not a big fan of that. Okay, if it's your own event, but if the group has the rules in your doing your own event within that group, that's fair.

[B]

I didn't even want to be the group. I just. I had said I wanted my own group.

[A]

And if they don't want you to be in the group, that's their choice. I might not agree with them, but that is their choice. If I fire someone from this company, it's not their choice.

[B]

Okay, but it's their choice to have their form their own business or whatever.

[A]

Yes, but if.

[B]

That's what I was saying.

[A]

But if they were doing that while employed here, I could fire them and that's okay.

[B]

No, it's not. That's not okay.

[A]

What, so you're not. Now you're saying someone that runs a business can't decide who works there and who doesn't. But you're allowed to decide who goes to your sex party and not their

[B]

job, and on the side, they want to do something else that doesn't impact their job.

[A]

Well, you having a sex party adjacent to being in a sex group is very adjacent. If someone started their entire content Business that was adjacent to this. Yes, that is very similar.

[B]

And I got canceled for it.

[A]

Well, I.

[B]

Anyway, Colton wanted me to tell you that I'm a heavy bottom.

[A]

Well, thanks, Colton. I don't even know what that means. Heavy. I agree.

[B]

Used to be. Hey, I lost weight, so.

[A]

Could have fooled me.

[B]

Anyway, I used to be fatter, but I also used to be hotter, too. So this is just where I'm at now.

[A]

You're just. You're just old.

[B]

I'm getting there. But also, I'm not.

[A]

No, you got that.

[B]

Only 34.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

Do you want to know what a heavy bottom is?

[A]

Nope.

[B]

So what someone.

[A]

No, stop. I really don't care. So what are you doing now? Where do you live? I need to get back on the finances. You brought me down that group, and now people are going to think I'm the wokest mother ever just because you're just kind of an ass.

[B]

Is that where people want to be these days?

[A]

No, it's. That's the opposite of where people want to be. Woke was stupid over performing morally masturbating dumb asses. Like, I don't give a about those people's opinions. But you were actually just being a dick. You weren't joking. Jokes are fun. Jokes are back. You're just being a dick.

[B]

I'm just being a realistic figurative dick.

[A]

Okay, before we move on, let me just say this. And I will, because this is. I will use asmongold as another perspective because he's someone on the right, okay? He believes, and honestly, I think most people believe that someone who is born a man who thinks they're a woman is still just a man. But guess what? Me, him, most people just say, but we also really don't care because it doesn't impact us. So whatever. I will just say your pronoun out of respect. As long as you don't force kids. As long as you don't go into women's bathrooms, you know, whatever, sports, all this stuff, we don't care. But you're just out there like, now you gross. You got a dick. I've been sucking your dick for four years. So it's just like, you're not a respectful person. You're just a dick. It makes no sense.

[B]

Is it respectful that they make me have to accept their mental problems?

[A]

Okay, you see where you go. What do you mean? There's just literally.

[B]

Is it normal to be a dude and say you're a woman?

[A]

Normal? Maybe not, but is that what matters? You're just literally saying you're just Being respectful. Because it doesn't, it doesn't impact you.

[B]

It does impact me, Kayla.

[A]

Saying a word doesn't impact you. Do not make me the woke mother. I am not that guy. You're not that guy, pal. Trust me, you're not that guy. Don't make me look like the performative morm. Estimating freak. I'm not. You're just a dick. Who cares?

[B]

I care. But why?

[A]

It's a word.

[B]

A word doesn't impact because it's enabling.

[A]

Now I. Trust me, I, I, I, I get it. If like, you're at a job and you say the wrong face, consequences. Yeah, that's, that's stupid. I'm not going to go down that road. Like, who cares? But literally just to someone's face. If you're intentionally being a dick, what's the point if you mess up? Who gives a. If they cry because you messed up, I'll go tell them to themselves, I don't care. That's them being a dumbass sensitive baby. But you're intentionally being a dick.

[B]

Okay, I'm being a dick.

[A]

And then I'm getting notes out of the community. Colton's on a completely different page right now because he just sent me a note saying that you wanted to that you in the past just wanted to get the shit beat out of you and tell you blood. Completely different conversation. It's like, okay, great. I'm glad I learned that.

[B]

But it's like, yeah, I liked being beat until.

[A]

I think Colton wants to get to the kink talk. I don't. Yeah, I just want to tell you you're a dick. So how are you affording living on your own right now? Do you have a place of rent and what is it, you cunt?

[B]

I pay 2,000amonth for a studio apartment. It's just me and my dog and cat in there and I love it.

[A]

2000amonth. That's insane.

[B]

2000 towards the rent and the rest goes on.

[A]

I get that. See, I'm not a woke freak. I'm calling everyone. Oh my gosh. But you're. And a dick at the same time. I don't know how to turn on Brandon's mic. Turn on Brandon's mic.

[B]

Hi, Brandon.

[A]

You don't talk to him. Listen, Brandon, I mean, I just, I want to check myself real quick. I want to. Because Brandon. Brandon's willing to call me on my. Like you. You. We're both in the same camp of jokes are back. And we don't cater to the performative weirdos. Am I Catering to the performative weirdo right now, or is she just a dick? What? What's happening? No, she's a dick. Okay. That's what I thought.

[B]

That's your opinion.

[A]

Well, guess it is an opinion. Absolutely you have an opinion. I just wanted to make sure. Okay. Thank you.

[B]

Very good.

[A]

I'm actually a very the rest. No one believes that. So $2,000 including no ex of yours believes that.

[B]

That I have some good exes that still like me and talk to me.

[A]

Who is still you, is my question. Who the is putting that?

[B]

There's one or two people.

[A]

Yeah. Whittled it down to that few, huh?

[B]

They like me.

[A]

A lot of people in San Diego.

[B]

And you're close to la, so LA is its own.

[A]

Oh, my gosh. Do not. I don't give a. About whatever rabble you're trying to go down. You are not going to be rolling conversation. I don't give a. Okay, so what do you need? What did you spend last month? If your rent is 2,000, I don't understand how 3,600 makes sense.

[B]

Well, I spent a lot of money on rent. And then all these parties and BDSM stuff I buy. Huh.

[A]

Well, okay, so you said like the outfits.

[B]

Floss.

[A]

Okay, you said one of the things you said earlier. I didn't go down the rabbit hole, but now I understand that you're a freak. You said BDSM made me go into debt. What does that mean?

[B]

So I like to buy outfits for the parties. I wear something new.

[A]

Parties that you've gotten kicked out of?

[B]

Yeah, Well, I would go to a party once a week at least still.

[A]

Yeah, but you kicked out of one

[B]

of the groups and soon to be the other ones. As soon as the other groups find out.

[A]

Well, as soon as they see this.

[B]

Oh, yeah, for sure. I've already accepted that. So one group I'm still a part of. And I host parties, I volunteer at parties.

[A]

And I talked to a crazy sex person once because, you know, I. I'm a little dabbler. But just yolo, huh?

[B]

You only live once Double.

[A]

Did you just YOLO me?

[B]

Yeah, as long as it's safe, sane and consensual. Go for it.

[A]

34 and you're yellowing. My goodness. Apparently the crazy sex cities to live in for all the fun events are Los Angeles, New York City and Austin, Texas.

[B]

Oh, so I should move here? Be another Californian that hates Austin?

[A]

Please, no. We don't want you. We don't need you. You are un.

[B]

I am the life of the party.

[A]

Okay, so how'd that get you into debt? What are you spending on all that shit?

[B]

Outfits, shoes, gear, leather.

[A]

I make bisexual. So you're in that community anyway. Oh, I guess it makes sense. So you're in the. What do you just say? Lgb?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah. I also actually.

[A]

You go around. You're just like, lgb.

[B]

No, I actually don't consider myself a part of the, like, LGB whatever Alphabet community. I'm not part of it. When I came out as bi, the meanest people were the gays and lesbians. I've never felt part of it.

[A]

The performance of weirdos are always like the actual worst people because they don't step up to actually help anyone. They just perform. Really Masturbate online to feel good and get circle jerk by the community. I relatively agree with that. But I don't think that means all gay people are mean. Colton's not mean. Like, I don't know the ones in

[B]

Orlando when I came.

[A]

Okay, I don't care. I don't care.

[B]

Mean ones.

[A]

Maybe it's because you're a bitch.

[B]

I'm very nice.

[A]

No one thinks that.

[B]

My mom thinks that.

[A]

Oh, okay. Well, that's starting to explain a lot. Photo she applied with is crazy. Did I have her vagina in it? No, because that's what she does. I really don't. Because I'm afraid of seeing pictures with her.

[B]

I am.

[A]

Because I. Can I. Can I be completely candid? I am not attracted to you in any way whatsoever.

[B]

You have a girlfriend. That's fine. I don't need you.

[A]

You can be attracted to people. Yes, but I just saw a vagina.

[B]

Unconscinced bisexual doesn't mean I care if you. If people find me attractive. Right.

[A]

That wasn't the point. See, you immediately got attacked like the classic woman you are. This is like you. You heard what I said and you made it about you. Like, I don't give. What I was trying to say is I'm not attracted to you, but I was just forced to see your vagina. It's like I've never been forced to see someone's vagina that I'm not attracted to before. This is the first time in my life. It kind of sucks.

[B]

Never gotten an unsolicited vagina pick.

[A]

I only talk to people I'm attracted to whenever we get to that point.

[B]

You haven't lived.

[A]

Yes, I have. I've gotten vaginas.

[B]

Really cool picture because I do fireplay. I am naked, but I have conversations

[A]

all over the place. Oh, my Gosh, how many people are clicking off? Oh my goodness. How many people are clicking off? Please, just stay here. Please. Shut the up. Shut the up. Yes. No one actually cares. No one cares. No one cares. We know the what people care about. No one gives a about your fireplace. Shut the up. You're a dumb, obnoxious. No one gives a shit.

[B]

We would travel.

[A]

What did you spend last month? Hey, shut the fuck up. You. What did you spend last month on what? Money.

[B]

You.

[A]

You actual. That deserves to be put in the ground in Minecraft.

[B]

I like that game. I haven't played it in a while.

[A]

What did you spend last month, you freak. Oh, are you serious? Are you. Are you this batshit?

[B]

Probably.

[A]

Are you actually a individual?

[B]

If I made 4,000, I probably spent 4,000.

[A]

Oh, what the. First of all, you brought in 3,663, bro. The outflow was 8,472. How does that make sense?

[B]

I did just. I did just recently move.

[A]

Well, we know that.

[B]

Yeah, it's expensive to move.

[A]

How many times do I have toing just throw the word at you? You're actually an imbecile. You are a. Are you one of the more stupid people I've ever talked to? It's like you can't process conversations. I know you just moved. We talked about that. I already got your rent.

[B]

It's $2,000 and I was.

[A]

Yeah, but that doesn't make any sense. That is literally a fourth of the $8,000 would be rent many times

[B]

the truck.

[A]

What the were you bringing with you from the guy's place that probably had everything moving cost. What are you doing? I moved across the country for a couple hundred bucks. What are you people doing moving costs when you don't have money because you don't make any money because no one values your skills. In San Diego, it was.

[B]

Yeah, San Diego.

[A]

No one values your skills or else you would be paid more. You bitch.

[B]

I actually worked my way making me look sexist.

[A]

But really you're just a dick and obnoxious. So I'm just throwing every bad word I could at you.

[B]

Did that feel good?

[A]

No. I hate this. I hate you.

[B]

You're.

[A]

Shut the up.

[B]

Really cool.

[A]

So 8,000 hours. How could you spend that much if a fourth wind income? You dumb.

[B]

Probably moving my animals like I. My animals eat better than I do.

[A]

They both eat 2000 hours a month each.

[B]

Well, I pay for their medical. My doggy just had surgery.

[A]

Yes, this photo. I think guys would because one, your face is covered. Two, you can't tell. You're a fat as much in them.

[B]

That was when I was high.

[A]

And your tits. Exactly. You were hot and you are no longer. And your tits look better than the one I was forcefully seen.

[B]

I have decent tits. I grew on myself.

[A]

So you actually have no concept of where your money went?

[B]

I don't know. Is it on the paper?

[A]

Dude. Oh, my. Are you unable to have a conversation? Yes, it's on the paper, you moron. That's what pieces of paper do in these conversations where you see a spreadsheet. You idiot. Of course it's on the paper. I'm crashing out on her. Oh, my goodness. She's such a dumb bitch. Oh, my gosh. I hate her. No, this is not funny. You're a cunt.

[B]

Well, I. Hey, hey, wait.

[A]

Why don't you. Why? Yeah, answer my question.

[B]

I like to make things. I get random ideas. So I did spend a lot of money on, like, epoxy resin, UV resin, and leather projects.

[A]

What does this cost?

[B]

Probably a few hundred.

[A]

Okay, that doesn't make sense with the $6,000 you spent on top of your rent. I am trying to get any concept of where this money went. A couple hundred bucks. The leather was not it. You creature. You suck with money. So you download a budgeting app. You start with the classic one, Ynab, but everyone just deletes it because it's way too complicated to use. So you go to everydollar. That's Dave Ramsey, the personal finance guy, right? Well, they're gonna force you to use it his way, and that's not very personal finances. Rocket Money, they got a lot of commercials, but they're owned by Rocket Mortgage. Guess what they want to sell you in the end? Then there's the new guy on the block, Monarch. Hundreds of millions of dollars of private equity raising so far. But private equity doesn't have the best track record when it comes to private data. That's why I like Dollarwise. Built by these people just like you, for people just like you. No private equity, no gimmicks.

[B]

Just.

[A]

Just the best budgeting app there is. Download it now, start the free trial. Dollarwise.com, link in the description below. Starbucks is and a waste of money. And you already know that by making your coffee at home and investing the rest. So now you need to do that with your energy drink as well. Make gamer subs at home for just 40 cents a serving. And honestly, it literally tastes better. And we proved this accidentally via a blind taste test in our Hammer Elite show. Fat and Fatter. The number one ranked energy drink is gamer. Literally. The cherry flavor is insane. Listen, you can also get free samples to see if you like it or 10% off your order at gamersupps gg or click that link in the description below. Type in code. Caleb literally miscellaneous bullshit alone was $791 you and then $500 you whore went to going out to eat and then $2,102 unknown shopping and then you're 3,183 on other large purchases. It's thousands on and and, and oh well you got kicked out and replaced with someone who wasn't even that attractive. That means. That means that's how bad you are by the way. Well, someone who is honestly probably best at best a 6.6.5 out of 10 at best.

[B]

I think I'm a San Diego 8.

[A]

That was the best I've heard. That was. That was the best joke anyone's ever said in this studio.

[B]

I do want to budget in a dungeon. So I can just have that.

[A]

You have that space.

[B]

I can make it.

[A]

I mean if I'll budget what people need. But I think you should probably just pay off debt. Well, how much debt do you have?

[B]

Probably like 15,000, 20,000. I don't know anymore.

[A]

Why don't. Why don't you know anymore?

[B]

Well, I just spent a bunch to move so I don't know where my debt is at now.

[A]

Well, it's $25,455.22.

[B]

It's not that bad.

[A]

You thought it was 10. How is that not that? Why are you here?

[B]

Because I want to change my life around and I want to change how.

[A]

Are you saying that's not that bad? What is there to change if it's not that bad? Why would you want to change it then?

[B]

Because I don't want it to get worse.

[A]

But you thought it was 10, so it got worse by more than double. And then you say it's not that bad. That doesn't make any sense.

[B]

Okay, it's bad.

[A]

Oily face freaked out.

[B]

Oh, is it oily? It's probably because I'm sweating under the light.

[A]

It's not hot in here, I'll tell you that.

[B]

It's pretty hot. This outfit is making me sweat.

[A]

Okay, Maybe you shouldn't have worn it.

[B]

I want it to look good.

[A]

Well, you failed.

[B]

I also want a budget.

[A]

I apologize to you.

[B]

Will you apologize to to the audience?

[A]

Because I'm being mean. I'm being a dick. Because you're a. I need to bring some new words.

[B]

No, I like you can call me

[A]

Shut the up now that you like it. I don't want to call. I want to hurt you. Your feelings. Not the way you like the feelings

[B]

because you're a. I also want to buy a motorcycle and that's going to

[A]

cost me a car. I heard that part. I heard that. I ignored it because you're done broad. I don't want to talk to no,

[B]

my dream bike is a turbocharged Hayabusa and I want it custom.

[A]

So do you want to change your life or get a motorcycle? Pick one. Well, what the am I doing here? What am I doing here? I can change what you're doing here. What the am I doing?

[B]

I'm borrowing my ex's motorcycle motorcycle. So I would like my own. He bought me a motorcycle when we were together and then when we broke up he wanted it back.

[A]

What do you think your financial score is? 0 to 10. 0 being the worst, 10 being the best. Don't try to talk. Don't try to have a bit. Don't try to respond to my Shut the up. Answer the question.

[B]

Probably a five.

[A]

Okay, you're. You are. You're. You are a modern day version. Someone who's disabled because we wouldn't call them that except for the one time I accidentally did ignore that part. But that was a mistake. I apologize for it. But you're. You are a. If you want your Hammer Financial score, get it@caleb hammer.com Take the assessment for free. Just takes a few minutes and you see where you stand in the world of money where you need to improve, what you need to do to do better. And we're already doing great. And if you don't want to be like a guest who ends up on the show, make sure you download the brand new and improved otherwise budgeting app. It is absolutely incredible. It is changing the world of personal finance. It is awesome. Everyone is loving the new the new Launch. The new 6.0 launch. Guys sign up for the annual version only through the end of March. Do you get my budget friendly cookbook signed by me mailed directly to you going away at the end of March and then it's gone forever. You also get my budget friendly 30 day meal plan signed by me mailed directly to you as well. So check it out Dollarwise.com all those links are in the description below. Why do I have a note that you also think that your family's raising your debt so it's pretty much anything but any kind of personal accountability.

[B]

Yeah, my Stepdad fell for a romance scam, and so I've been helping my mom. Stepdad?

[A]

What? What. What happened?

[B]

It was the classic. Some random woman commented on his Facebook post, like, oh, you're so smart and intelligent. Can I message you? And then over time, because I found out.

[A]

So he was. He was kind of cheating?

[B]

Yeah, he cheated on my mom. She was in a coma, and he was literally texting this scammer, like, oh, I miss you. I wish I was there with you instead of being next to my wife, who's I'm sitting next to. And she's in a coma.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So my stepdad's dead to me, but I still care about my mom, so I've been financially supporting them.

[A]

She comaed.

[B]

She's better now. She's still recovering.

[A]

How long was she coma'd?

[B]

The coma was about two weeks. It was induced because her lungs collapsed and they had to, like, clear all that out so she could breathe. It was during Halloween, so it was a very, you know, breathtaking costume.

[A]

Get separated?

[B]

No, they're still together because she's like, oh, he's my husband. I'll stay with him.

[A]

Well, clearly not the first.

[B]

Well, the birth father is. I have a straining order against him, so.

[A]

Is this why you are so up?

[B]

Probably.

[A]

That makes more sense. Maybe. Also take some personal accountability, though. You're allowed to do that. I promise. It's real nice, real good. Change your life. So how much of your money is going to them then?

[B]

Probably at least 300amonth. Not 500amonth doesn't make any.

[A]

500amonth doesn't make any sense because that immediately brings you down to a thousand. 100 left.

[B]

Yeah, it's all their utilities and the cell phones. Oh, and my stepdad's chocolate Got. Recap. Okay, so I paid for that.

[A]

You just need a new job. Let's just be honest. You're not going to survive on your own, but no one's going to hire you. You're a freak. To be clear, I just maybe just

[B]

need to be promoted.

[A]

What's your job again?

[B]

Quality assurance.

[A]

And what's the next step up?

[B]

Probably a senior qa.

[A]

And what do they make?

[B]

I would guess at least 50 an hour.

[A]

Oh, my. Oh, my goodness. Okay. How long have you been doing this?

[B]

The current position? I've been doing about a year and a half, but I've been in this industry about 10 years.

[A]

Why haven't you gotten promoted? It almost sounds like.

[B]

Well, I just got promoted like a year ago. I worked my way up this.

[A]

You not being able to survive as you promoted. Listen, I'll get you a course, career certification. Get one of those. Use it to leverage promotions or a new job, new career, whatever it takes. A lot of people in their. In the audience have improved their financial situation with them, so use that. I'll get you that for free.

[B]

Thanks.

[A]

But what the. Yeah, you. The. The simple fact is, unless you find another man with a penis or a woman with a vagina, whoever you want to live with, I don't care. There's no way you're going to be able to. You can't do this. You can't do this on your own. You can't. And I understand you taking care of mother. I would, too. I get it. She's in a situation. I mean, I wish she would leave the guy, but either way, I wish so, too. Yeah, but she's not. So either way, it doesn't. It doesn't matter. You just. You will not be able to survive on this fight. That's just a fact.

[B]

If I cut them out or cut them off.

[A]

No, no, no, no, no. If you cut them off, you still only have $1,600 left. Your minimum payments, I guarantee. I'm. This first one in front of me is 400. 4. 24amonth.

[B]

Month.

[A]

A one credit card one. You're what?

[B]

Well, if I. If I have a thousand left over and I paid the 400 and then what, 200 on the other.

[A]

Are you not getting groceries or you're not going to leave your house or you're not going to. What's going to happen?

[B]

Well, if I get my dungeon.

[A]

Dude, your priorities are whack. You make no sense. You make no sense.

[B]

I can make it work.

[A]

Okay, well, you are dating the guy, so maybe you'll be able to move in with him soon. I'm glad you're back on the. Why?

[B]

He's married and has a girlfriend and has kids.

[A]

What the wrong with you?

[B]

He's poly.

[A]

He's what?

[B]

He's poly. Polyamorous.

[A]

Well, why can't you move in then?

[B]

I don't want to.

[A]

And her? Is she poly?

[B]

Yeah, they're all poly. They're all like.

[A]

They're in a. Oh, they must be so ugly. They always are. Oh, my goodness.

[B]

Super hot. That's why I'm dating him.

[A]

No, no, I saw who you dated.

[B]

Speaking of date, you owe me a date. Caleb.

[A]

No, shut the up. I already told you, you are.

[B]

I was supposed to go on a date with hot British guy tonight, but because you were sick and I had to extend my trip. I had to cancel that date with him.

[A]

So Brian, I guarantee you he wasn't hot. And also to you, Navy Federal. How the are you up to $19,011 and 3 cents? Like I said, this minimum payment is 404.24. Crazy.

[B]

I just pay my rent and then buy everything here. Credit card? No, no.

[A]

I just spent a thousand 182.23, you freak. Interest 216.24. How long does this take to pay off? If you do not purchase and you only make your minimum three payments of which you're incapable of not purchasing. So what the. How long does this take to pay off?

[B]

Guessing 30 years.

[A]

30 years? You'll be 64 if I must take alive by environment. So I.

[B]

Well, I don't believe in debit cards.

[A]

You mean you don't believe in debit cards. What is there to believe?

[B]

I'm so fearful of running out of cash, so I just make sure I have enough cash at all times.

[A]

Why are you paying for that? What like. Well, I guess I would. Because you don't make enough money.

[B]

That doesn't mean overdraft fees and be unable to pay.

[A]

I bet you will. Plus you're also accruing 216 hours in interest. So you know, whatever mathematical thing happens with overdraft fees, you're getting worse in interest anyway. Right now.

[B]

I didn't realize that.

[A]

You didn't realize you were getting interest?

[B]

I didn't realize it was that bad.

[A]

How you haven't looked once. You don't use any budgeting apps?

[B]

No, I don't budget. It's just. I put.

[A]

How can you tell me you wanted to change your life around? You've even applied to the show, but you haven't downloaded a budget enough. Yeah, what about the week leading up to coming on the show from applying? Why didn't you download something? What the is wrong with you?

[B]

Cuz I was going you broken individual to figure out what I should do. I mean I budget.

[A]

How much debt did you take? To the back of the brain. You are actually so moronic. I don't know what to do in this conversation.

[B]

I just. I hate your just do it attitude. It's not that simple.

[A]

Let's put. No, it's downloading an app. Maybe you wouldn't be using it perfectly, but. Why haven't you downloaded an app?

[B]

I didn't need to download it. I just did it on an Excel sheet.

[A]

What? You just said you don't budget. What do you mean? You do it on An Excel.

[B]

She's like, no, you haven't.

[A]

You didn't even know how much you're growing.

[B]

Why didn't I download an app?

[A]

No, you just said you didn't even know how much interest is accrued because you haven't looked at it. You can't tell me you're using an Excel sheet.

[B]

You're throwing different questions at me. Your question was, why didn't I download a budget app? I didn't because I did on an Excel.

[A]

My question before that is, why did you not know how much interest was accruing? You said, cause I haven't looked at it.

[B]

Well, that's.

[A]

If you're putting it into Excel, you're looking at it.

[B]

Well, the budget. I wasn't looking at the budget. Yeah, well, I was like, okay, so I make this much a month. I need to put 2,000 aside for rent, and then the rest I'll just throw at the credit cards and it'll pay off. I'll get it figured out because I'm not going to get a second job.

[A]

I don't know if you need a second. I mean, I would. In my. In your situation, I'd get a second job temporarily, but your main focus should be getting a better job because you are not valued clearly in the marketplace of San Diego, because you are not making a lot in San Diego. You're making, like, a normal income in Michigan.

[B]

I thought I was making a lot.

[A]

No, when your boyfriend said you were not making a lot of money, he was correct. It's not because he's a dick. Well, you do not make a lot of money.

[B]

Compared to $80. Yeah. 30.

[A]

What? No, it's not compared to that. It's compared to San Diego. It's compared to being able to survive in San. The Diego.

[B]

Well, to me, it sounded like a lot because I used to make, like, 25. And so. Oh, well, I make 35.

[A]

So that's a lot of living in the area. It's not sounding. It's not vibes, it's math.

[B]

I still think 35 is a decent amount. I can live off of that.

[A]

No, you can't. You're putting it all on credit cards. You literally just told me you can't. You're putting it on credit cards. How are you telling me that's enough to live on?

[B]

Gonna change things up? No, you're gonna start buying things with the debit card so it doesn't get interest.

[A]

Okay, so on here we got Amazon, Banfield Pet Hospital. I can understand that.

[B]

Yeah, that's My.

[A]

I wouldn't have pets in your situation because you can't afford them to save your life. Audible. Go to the library. Library.

[B]

I like audible a lot.

[A]

I do too. You can't afford it. Go to the library.

[B]

But it's, it's cheaper because if I listen to audiobooks like that's my library.

[A]

Entertainment library.

[B]

But libraries are stealing from the authors.

[A]

I'm pretty sure the library.

[B]

Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile.

[A]

I don't know if you knew this, but anyone can get the same Premium Wireless for $15 a month plan that I've been enjoying. It's not just for celebrities. So do like I did and have one of your assistant's assistants switch you to Mint Mobile today. I'm told it's super easy to [e-mail]

[B]

Switch upfront payment of $45 for 3 month plan equivalent to $15 per month. Required intro rate, first 3 months only. Then full price plan, taxes and fees, extra fee, full [e-mail] where is pay? I don't know.

[A]

You think they steal? You think they show up to steal? J.K. rollins?

[B]

They will. Authors get more money if you buy from buy their product directly instead of

[A]

if you're an author out there. Do you support libraries? Let's hear from you in the comments below because

[B]

I'm saying support the authors first.

[A]

Authors. What would you support? Let us know because currently Karen the

[B]

says I also support authors on Patreon and some comedians.

[A]

You don't have money. Support your rent or McDonald's. How can you afford that? That's why you're getting fat, fatty.

[B]

Just a treat here and there.

[A]

You've had a lot more than just a treat here and there. Kindle. I thought you're already doing audible. I Taco Bell Kindle again. You. You are not intelligent with all the reading you're doing. What are you reading? Show me your book list. Show me your book list. Show me your book list, you dumb.

[B]

What?

[A]

I guarantee you you're too. Oh, I'm sorry again. Chat. Third time I'm being mean. I know I'm being mean. Do you understand? Why do I at least get a little bit of Am I allowed? Am I valid from being mean on this one? I know sometimes you say I'm too mean, sometimes I'm too nice. Let me be mean here.

[B]

Are you gonna freak out?

[A]

Well, seeing how that's not unconsensual, Flash, that's okay.

[B]

Are you gonna be upset if you see that?

[A]

No. But you see how you're asking for

[B]

consent first of all, a male nipple is.

[A]

She doesn't actually understand the difference of a male torso and a literal vagina. She. She actually doesn't understand the difference.

[B]

Do I have your consent to show you? Yes, you do covers.

[A]

Here you go for something you don't need consent for.

[B]

They're good books.

[A]

Oh, this is why she's not intelligent. Okay. Hey, when you're a reader and all you're doing is kink, slop, smut, no one respects you as a reader. Shut the up.

[B]

Go scroll through.

[A]

No one respects you.

[B]

There's like post breakup books in there too.

[A]

Oh, my goodness. I gotta start a screen recording. And I am not going through her images. I wouldn't dare.

[B]

You have my consent to go through my images. It's mostly pictures of my animals.

[A]

Well, thank the goodness. I would never. I would never go through your images. Look at this. This is just 2020 Stephen Hawking six woman's slop. This is so pathetic.

[B]

Because men in real life suck, so we gotta read about it.

[A]

A lot of men do suck. There's a lot of weird insults. This is. But this is like literally, like,

[B]

it's good.

[A]

This is like the weird male fitness camp version from the woman's side though. Like this turns you into freaks and weirdos.

[B]

I mean, we already established I am, so I'm just enjoying pathetic.

[A]

This is pathetic. No, they're really have Amazon as well.

[B]

Oh, you're gonna be so mad when you look at my Amazon shop.

[A]

Oh, my goodness. She has 25 things in her car. I haven't bought 70 in her car. A waterproof dog detail. When we can't afford our rent, that's great. Pillow. Couple sec. When we can't afford rent, that's great. Vibrator. Vibrator. When we can't. Are you single? I thought you're dating a dude.

[B]

I only see him like once a month, so I have.

[A]

Oh, my God. Okay, we got a vibrator, but we can't afford rent. Wing. But we can't afford rent. Butt plug. But we can't afford rent. But we can't afford rent. Moon yoy. A memory foam ergonomic rest pillow. But we can't afford rent. Strap on sex swing machine. Small, quiet clitoral vibrators. Men's mail, but we can't afford rent. More sex swing things. Two attachable white penises, one thick, one long. A purple Thanos, 9.4 inch. And now I'm extra glad that I'm not attracted to you because I bet it would be like I feel Nothing happening. If you're taking a fucking 10 incher.

[B]

I haven't bought it yet. So. I haven't taken it yet.

[A]

God, so gross. I would be having so much fun in this conversation if you were genuinely an attractive woman. Yeah, it's so crazy.

[B]

Wait till you see my purchases though.

[A]

Stuff I've actually bought Silicon. It's all just stupid bullshit. You can't afford rent. You're trying to take care of your mom's utilities. I don't care. No, a lot of these aren't even making shit. There's literally. There's like chairs. Chairs and Rechargeable Spotlight. Johnny the Walrus Boats. Temptations Creamy Puree. You didn't need that to survive. Woman's kind bikini. Shut the up. You're such a dumb. Supplements. You don't need like. It's just like what are we doing? It's so pathetic.

[B]

You like my case.

[A]

Shut up. No one likes your case. You're no one likes you. Minute key. I hope you got locked out of somewhere. You deserve that pain and suffering again. Amazon.

[B]

TJ Maxx needed extra keys for my new more Banfield.

[A]

Okay, Amazon. We already saw those. KFC I like chicken. Total interest accrued last year almost $2,500. Even though it's only at a 13.4% rate. Which is not good by the way. But the fact is compared to the vast, vast, vast majority of credit cards is actually halfway like forgiving. And yet you still lost 2,500 bucks last year just so you can get all your sex toys. Just so you couldn't clear up your financial situation before you move. That one had to be independent because you're literally reduced and you have no sensible you. You have no, no, no micro examples of responsibility or accountability in your life. Because you're pathetic. Your parents are probably ashamed of you. You have an other Navy Federal Credit. What the is wrong with you? If you want to land a high paying job but don't have experience or a degree, then you need to learn about course careers. It is the easiest way to land the high paying career that you've been dreaming of. I've done financial audits for hundreds of people and what I've learned is is that the single biggest factor someone can take to improve their life is getting a higher paying job. And that is why I've been such a huge promoter and even an investor in course careers. The way it works is you simply go through an affordable online course to start a new high paying career path. They teach many different in demand jobs Ranging from technology, sales to accounting, construction, project management, the trades like electrician, plumbing, H Vac, supply chain, and many others that can can be done remotely. And the coolest part about course careers is their platform works for people who don't have any previous experience or degrees. Their courses teach you everything you need to know to land your first entry level job. And they have a 100% free introductory course for each career that teaches you all about what the job is like, how much money you'd make and how exactly to land your first job was starting from scratch. Click the link below to sign up for one of their free courses today. If budgeting apps make you feel like this is for you. Most people who struggle with budgeting aren't irresponsible. They care about their money, but they get overwhelmed every time they look at it. They download an app, connect their accounts and try tracking. But within a few days, it feels like a homework assignment. They're failing. Too many categories, too many rules, too many red alerts screaming at them about what they did wrong. So of course they stopped opening it. Not because they don't care, but because it makes them feel worse. And here's what nobody talks about. The stress isn't coming from your spending. It's coming from having zero clarity in using tools that turn money into a failing grade. Have you ever thought I just want to know where my money's going without being judged for it? You're not alone. That's exactly what we built dollar wise. If you want a calm and clearer way to see where your money is going, try dollar wise. Download the app today and get a three day free trial. No setup nightmare. No manual tracking, no pressure to be perfect. Just connect your accounts, see where your money's actually going and decide if it works for you. Click below to download downloads and see if this helps you feel more in control without the stress. And if it's not a fit, cancel anytime.

[B]

It's only two cards.

[A]

Shut the up. There's more debts. Okay, yeah, two. Well, you can't afford life. And this balance is $5,442. People are gonna take clips out of this episode and so out of context and make me look bad.

[B]

Oh yeah, there's one more credit card. The Apple card.

[A]

Yeah, like I just don't know anything because you're illiteral.

[B]

Yeah, I kind of forget to pay my Apple card.

[A]

I think the balance on this is higher now.

[B]

Which one?

[A]

This Navy Federal.

[B]

Oh yeah. Cause I moved and I came to Austin and I needed.

[A]

Hold up, up. Pull it up. You preacher. You absolute beast. Fees, interest, minimum payment. It's going to be higher now. I fifth apology. I am sorry. I just. Please give me. Help me make it through this one chat. I need you. I need you here.

[B]

It's signing in. There you go. It's 6350 for that one. The Visa. So this checking savings Amex. Oh my bro.

[A]

What is wrong with you?

[B]

It did.

[A]

It went up a thousand bucks. $6,355.01. You're so man. You know what the payment's probably like, I don't know, 125 now I'm gonna guess. Dude, what is wrong with you? What is wrong with you? This is. Just stop. Just stop. 20 years to pay off. Oh my.

[B]

No, it's not.

[A]

What do you mean? You want to improve your life and you're going to tell me it's not bullshit. What the is wrong with you?

[B]

All this stuff for my new place. I wanted an all Hubble.

[A]

You don't need to live the like.

[B]

Well, you're really big on. You should cook and cook at home. So I needed stuff to cook at home and I wanted to cook which

[A]

was the chairs and the. Well, how much Christmas tree decorations and the. The.

[B]

Am I gonna sit on the kids

[A]

and weird sex thing like. What the you talking about? Shut up. Shut up. You can use fizz card, debit card that builds credit. But you don't believe in debit cards. I don't know what the. It just doesn't let you spend what's in what's less than in your checking account. So it's like that might help shut the up. I just. I don't want to even hear you speak. I'm so sick of this episode. Oh, crash out. Crash out. Crash out. Amazon Amazon Coyote Cafe. You didn't need that to move in.

[B]

Oh, that was a date. The guy was furloughed at the time.

[A]

Not sex. It's a dumb Amazon.

[B]

Amazon national guy out on a date, huh? That was when the guy I'm seeing didn't have a job because the government shut down. So I paid for the date.

[A]

You live a pathetic life. National entertainment something. $293 for what?

[B]

What?

[A]

National entertainment something. I don't know. How am I supposed toing know? Fifth apology Comedy show.

[B]

National entertainment. I'm comedy show probably that's my thing.

[A]

No, that was $5.20. The Walmart exit was 293 minute key. Again. How many times do you need a minute?

[B]

I have two keys.

[A]

Carl's Jr. Amazon. Twisted horn me. Amazon. Amazon. Amazon. Audible Again. Mic drop comedy. Yeah, that's what you need to move in. Audible, audible, audible. What the wrong with you? Stop. It's all kink books. You're not actually learning anything. You're not becoming a more productive member of society. You're actually just de evolving. You're de evolving. I'm glad we have you in our society. Just bringing us backwards. You're why I'm not moving to California. You're a part of it. Carl's Jr. Carl's Bad Brewing Company. Amazon. Amazon. Bullshit. Bullshit. Bullshit. Audible. Audible people. Amazon. Amazon. Amazon. Amazon. Amazon. Amazon.

[B]

Amazon.

[A]

Amazon. Also, you can make Amazon stupid. Bullshit. Dumbass. You are just the worst. Walmart CF United llc. Bloodwood.

[B]

Bloody Wood. That's a concert. I'm taking my ex as a Christmas present.

[A]

You're taking your ex?

[B]

Yeah, so he bought me.

[A]

Does he actually want to go?

[B]

Yeah, it's one of our favorite bands. We went to it before.

[A]

Does he want to go with you?

[B]

I mean, too bad. I'm going.

[A]

Well, you are. Does he want to go with you or is he gonna get his own tickets with his?

[B]

He wanted to get a better looking girlfriend, so I got him a Christmas present with t tickets to Bloodywood. They're. They're really good. It's a really fun concert.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

One of their songs is not saying explicitly, but it's basically saying kill all rapists.

[A]

Walmart. Amazon. Amazon. Amazon. Amazon. Amazon. Amazon. Amazon. Amazon. Amazon. Goodwill Industries. Huh?

[B]

Stuff for my new place.

[A]

Oh, I went through there. The vast majority was stuff for your new place, you pathetic up. It's all hobbies. It's all shut up shop. Amazon. Taco Bell N Brazil means Minnesota.

[B]

Oh, the Brazil was for my brother shop.

[A]

Shut up. Shut up. Harbor Freight Tools. Yeah.

[B]

Fees Harbor Freight for like.

[A]

Shut up. Protection plan interest 14.4%. Again, I'm just like, oh, oh, oh my.

[B]

You sound like you need a relaxing time.

[A]

Oh, I hear your current boyfriend is actually annoyed at you that all you do is talk about your ex. And that's not surprising because I'm so annoyed at you. Just talking to you and being around you and it's only been an one hour. I. I have not checked the clock as much per episode as I have this episode because I cannot wait to get the away from you. See how the audience.

[B]

Yeah, I did tell him I'd stop talking about the ex. That's another reason why I won't really move the relationship forward.

[A]

Well, yeah, that's weird. Is that what we do? In our relationships is only talk about our exes.

[B]

I mean, he only said spends the dates talking about his wife and girlfriend.

[A]

Well, he's with them. Let me see what this freak looks like. Here we go. I guarantee you he's the ugliest mother I've ever seen.

[B]

He's really hot. He has a beard. I really like beards.

[A]

Okay. Beard does not equal hot. It can help. I know some guys.

[B]

Yeah, I know. We're saying that from experience.

[A]

I am. It makes me look better at this. At this moment. It's true.

[B]

I think you used to have it longer. You should grow it out. Looks nicer on you when it's longer.

[A]

Yeah. I'm not trying to impress you. You are the last.

[B]

Do you Caleb Creature.

[A]

We already know this. You've expressed this, and that's unfortunate.

[B]

This is not a really good picture, but this is what he looks like.

[A]

They always say.

[B]

My sister said he.

[A]

How old is he?

[B]

I think he's 40.

[A]

Very aged.

[B]

He was in the military, so that's

[A]

probably why it just looks like a polyamorous guy. They all look the same. It's just. That's just what they look like.

[B]

They do, don't they?

[A]

Apple card. It says zero, but I know it's not because I just got a message before that it said 300. So it's like, what the are we even doing? What are you spending it on? Okay, 300 with a minimum to payment. Probably like 25 bucks.

[B]

It's mostly like I use my Apple card for, like, online purchases, so it's not comedy shows.

[A]

He actually went from zero to up comedy shows accounts on the last one. You dumb tit. Vending machine. Apple bill. Vending machine. Apple bill, vending machine. Starbucks UPS comedy vending machine. You pull up your phone again. I'm clicking around. Dangerous.

[B]

Oh, in 7 11.

[A]

Pull it up.

[B]

What am I pulling up?

[A]

Just your phone. Give it to me now. Now. Now.

[B]

Please don't throw my phone.

[A]

I got to throw your phone. Why would I throw your phone? I've never thrown someone's phone.

[B]

There's always a first.

[A]

There's not always a first. Oh, my subscription clue period. Yeah, those will end soon and then icloud.

[B]

I hope so. I hope they end soon.

[A]

Yeah, there you go. No more fear.

[B]

I mean, there's no fear because I can't get pregnant naturally. But it's still good to keep track of your periods.

[A]

You have a lot. Oh, you must be Apple paying for some things because there's definitely more. There's more Apple bills and Going on

[B]

Apple pay to pay for the 711 app.

[A]

What are you getting?

[B]

Beast drinks.

[A]

Use gamer subs. Use gamer subs. Seriously? These are the shakers. But I'll give you free samples. I don't even want to give you free samples because you. But make your energy drinks at home. Just like you should make your coffee at home. It's like 40 cents a serving. It's. It's totally worth it. Guys, link below. Get the free samples with my code. Caleb, see what you like and then get it for 40 cents a serving.

[B]

Can you have them make your energy so I can actually buy them?

[A]

I want to be surprised if they're entering it soon. Oh, that'll be the canned version, but you can get the cheap version.

[B]

That'd be awesome. I'm happy for you. I'm proud of you. If you get that to happen in. I'll be your first customer if it's in 7 11. I've heard they're good.

[A]

They are. Get the free sample, you dumb. What is this? What am I looking at?

[B]

Oh, those are my Amazon payment plans.

[A]

Payment plans? Payment plans, yeah. What's your balance on the payment plans?

[B]

What's over on there?

[A]

I don't have a balance.

[B]

About 400. He said 400. And they're all stuff for my new. Except for big waste.

[A]

$400? $400. Oh, what's your minimum? Ah, jeez. I'm like so irritated and crashing out in this. Huh? You're just. You're just. I don't. I do not like you.

[B]

I like me.

[A]

If you. If. If you. If you wanted me to stick it in. I don't understand why you come across the literal world. Worst person ever. First of all, you're also like 30ft tall, so.

[B]

Yeah, guys like that.

[A]

Who's guys?

[B]

I mean, I go to sex parties. People want to bang me.

[A]

Yeah, But I assume most people there are not attractive. I know you find other people attractive, but like conventional attractive looks like. Minimum payment is 109.98. I don't know why they want something they can't feel. Yeah, valid. All you penis people out there, you know what I'm talking about.

[B]

I'm really good with my hands and mouth. So they feel something.

[A]

Yeah. Unfortunately, everyone wants to get to the real place by the end. And if it's not working, that is unfortunate. No, not everyone wants to sticking in doo doo areas. Not everyone. It's not a bad thing, Colton. It's not a bad thing. Not saying I have someone in the ass, but just not everyone Wants to go there there. You know, I mean, it's a risky.

[B]

I would negotiate it.

[A]

I wouldn't just negotiate it. You negotiate. Negotiate before up $1,135 in this checking account.

[B]

See, I make good money.

[A]

You not enough for you is what I am saying. Zelling out. Where did you zell out? $1,950 to 950. That must have been 1,950.

[B]

Oh, that's rent.

[A]

Oh, via zel. Okay, then PayPal. So this is bills paying. Listen. And let's see, let's see, let's see. I'm not seeing overdraft. So stop putting it on the damn credit cards. Stop putting on the damn credit cards. Budget your out. Stop getting that you can't afford. Use the kink you have. I have a note that your kitchen stuff has to be purple. No, it doesn't. To survive. To survive. To survive it.

[B]

It's like my new happy place.

[A]

Like, listen, you don't need that to survive, though. This checking account or the savings has 170 and then the checking account is $40. So.

[B]

Yeah, it's like my backup checking savings account.

[A]

What is this? Is this retirement?

[B]

That's my retirement.

[A]

4073. Okay. That's okay. Actually, that's pretty good. That's pretty good for you, actually, for your income. I'm pretty happy, actually.

[B]

So the first one's my IRA, about 90,000 bucks. And then the other one is the

[A]

4,401k odd diamond in a huge rough. Huge rough.

[B]

So you're saying I have a future ahead of me?

[A]

Yes. You're on track for retirement, if not even slightly. Probably about actually mid-30s. Yeah, just about on track back. Like.

[B]

See, I'm not completely terrible.

[A]

I have something completely just personality and life and relationships and existence and job and income and paying for rent. And you're luckily gonna have to pull from that retirement anyway or borrow against it because you can't afford life. You're completely. Yeah, I know you're. You're pretty much completely. Listen, I. Before I make you the budget again, my big concern is, like, there's to clean up here. I don't know how you do it while supporting the moment, but more than anything, you said your big goal was to get a dungeon and a motorcycle.

[B]

My reasons to live.

[A]

Yeah, but what about paying off the debt that actually matters? How much is this motorcycle?

[B]

About 40,000. And I want to buy it next month.

[A]

Okay, well, that's not a possibility. You could even buy it regardless.

[B]

If I do a What do you call it? Like a five year loan? Yeah.

[A]

So we go into double times three our debts.

[B]

But that will keep me motivated.

[A]

What? No. You're going to get a bad interest rate, right? It's going to go down in value immediately.

[B]

Well, it's not like I'm going to plan on reselling it. I want to keep it.

[A]

You don't know what's going to happen. What's your car situation right now?

[B]

Gets me to and from work.

[A]

What is it? You're such a stupid person.

[B]

2014 Chevy Spark, and it's not electric.

[A]

How is it? I don't give a. How is it?

[B]

It runs. Gets me to and from work.

[A]

How long might it run for?

[B]

I don't know. There is a recall on it.

[A]

There you go. You idiot. Why not go get a recall? Okay. It's valued at 3200. Yeah, that's not great motorcycle. Listen, you're right. San Diego, best weather in the world, actually, for a large city. So motorcycle actually might work. That's going to be difficult with groceries.

[B]

I don't want moving motorcycle. I want a car.

[A]

Well, if your car's on, you know, death's edge, potentially a motorcycle isn't our thing. We have to get out of debt, save up an emergency fund and then get a car if we have to. When it breaks down, you like. It doesn't make sense to go into this motorcycle.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

In the dungeon. What's that going to cost? Cost? Are we doing that next month, too?

[B]

I've never done any remodeling, so I don't know how much it's going to cost. I just know I want something.

[A]

You're renting.

[B]

I'm sure they'll let me just have to ask the landlady.

[A]

What is your apartment? What do you have?

[B]

It's one of those. They took an old house and made it into a bunch of apartments so I could.

[A]

How many rooms and square feet is your house?

[B]

Mine. It's, well, still a studio, so I would probably have to install some sort of wall.

[A]

So you'd be living in a sex dungeon. So your entire place would be a sex dungeon dungeon.

[B]

I mean, we had a sex dungeon you wanted.

[A]

Yeah, I'm sure there was more space.

[B]

Yeah, but it was two of us. Now it's just.

[A]

You're an idiot. How much? How many rooms in the last place?

[B]

Two. In a garage.

[A]

Okay, you're an idiot. That's called space. You have one room. There were multiple rooms there. Plus living room and kitchen and. Yeah, have a garage, you dumb oh my gosh. How do powder people make through conversations with you.

[B]

You.

[A]

You can't process things. You can't like. Oh, sorry. I'm not trying to be so mean. Yes, I kind of am. I don't know. I don't know.

[B]

Ah.

[A]

Ah. Okay.

[B]

Do you need a minute?

[A]

After this conversation, I'm going to need a quite a bit an iron drink. But I'm going to need some of that too.

[B]

You should have some me. That's my personal favorite.

[A]

I bet all the men need a lot of that before sleeping with you.

[B]

Yeah, if they have a lot, then they won't be.

[A]

Shut the up. Listen, I. I want to get people to the goals, genuinely, I really do. And goals can change. But the baseline is you have to get out of debt, have a fully funded emergency fund to six months of living expenses and then we. Your retirement's. Okay, so we're just 50, 30, 20 until then. But that's going to be hard on your income regardless, especially since you're taking care of your mom. How long are we going to be taking care of our mom?

[B]

Hopefully until my stepdad dies and hopefully soon.

[A]

Well, is that an actual possibility?

[B]

He's getting up there.

[A]

What's up there? You're getting up there.

[B]

He's like 70 something, almost 80.

[A]

Okay, so maybe, but I don't know. I don't know. Isn't. Isn't San Diego close to being a purple zone or something?

[B]

I think so. Yeah.

[A]

So it's like people live long.

[B]

I asked earlier, what if I just cut them off then? Now I'm better off financially. I have siblings they could take.

[A]

Are you going to you? No. Okay. I wouldn't cut them off. I would talk to your siblings, see if someone can step up while you get your taken care of. You're probably excommunicated from your siblings, right?

[B]

No, I'm still in contact with them. They don't agree with my lifestyle. But if I ask, hey, can you agree with you?

[A]

Oh, I don't know what there is to agree with her. I mean, you're a freaking weirdo, but

[B]

yeah, they don't like hearing about my lifestyle.

[A]

Well, no one likes hearing about your in detail, but you keep shoving it upon everyone. Hey, remember when you don't like trans people shoving it down your throat? That's how I feel about your existence. Distance. That's how it works. Okay, but you can't do the motorcycle next month. You can't.

[B]

Okay, how about the month after?

[A]

Well, let's figure out how long it takes. This doesn't make sense. Your priorities are out of whack, which makes me feel like this is a waste of my time, which is just so stupid, man. So, so stupid. Listen, your debt minimum through payments alone are 771.67, while your rent is 2,000.

[B]

But that covers everything. Utilities, water, gas, trash.

[A]

So that's Internet as well.

[B]

Not the Internet.

[A]

How much is Internet?

[B]

133.

[A]

And your income is 3600. So Internet is 133. What about your phone bill?

[B]

I pay for the family's phone bill, but my portion of it is probably 143.

[A]

Well, do they reimburse the rest?

[B]

Sometimes.

[A]

Well, then, no. Get on your own. They can deal with their own. You have to be independent. You are 34.

[B]

No, they're dependent on me. I own the cell phone.

[A]

Well, are they gonna step up? Are you gonna talk to them and they're gonna step up? Because that's really the option.

[B]

Well, I was going to cut them off.

[A]

It's not about cut off. They're not doing something bad. Your mom who got sick isn't doing something bad.

[B]

Right.

[A]

It's talking to your family about them stepping up to help while you get your situation taken care of. It's not.

[B]

I was going to change this. I was going to tell them, come January, you guys need to get your own cell phone plan. But then mom went into that coma, and then I was like, well, I'll just keep taking care of them, I guess. But now she's getting better, so I think. Damn.

[A]

I didn't even. This is brutal. Sorry, this is backtracking in the conversation, but your ex literally broke up with you because he said you weren't physically attractive anymore.

[B]

Yeah, he said, I don't find you attractive physically or as a person anymore.

[A]

Fair. Yeah, Valid.

[B]

He made me that way.

[A]

Oh, my goodness. What is with the people not being. I don't want to say. I don't want to red pill and say, oh, women can't take accountability in 2025, 2026. But what is with people in general not being able to take accountability? He is the responsible for all the shit we just talked about for an hour and a half. What the is wrong with you? What the. Okay, you claim that you were just trying to force him to wear a condom.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And that's him not being attracted to you anymore. Wait, what?

[B]

So he. He had this habit of just meeting people. Within a week or two, he'd stop using a cond. And he said because I asked him, hey, you, like, are Putting my health at risk.

[A]

Can you work on this boundary and then break up with him if he breaks it?

[B]

I should have in hindsight, but I loved him and I wanted kids with him so I stayed with him.

[A]

Yeah, but if someone is breaking boundaries, you have to ultimatum them. You just have to.

[B]

And that's kind of.

[A]

But that doesn't make sense for why he broke up with you because obviously he was getting away with it. So it's not like he was dealing with any issues other than STD here and there.

[B]

There. Yeah, he might have gotten something here and there probably.

[A]

If you guys are that many people raw, it's. It's bound to happen.

[B]

Just take a he everybody else raw, including the 21 year old.

[A]

Dude, that's not. You're making it sound like that's a child. I. Look, why care about a 21 year old?

[B]

She basically is a child. Your brain's not even fully developed until your late twenties.

[A]

Oh my. That literally you're act. You're acting like a crybaby about. About trans people earlier and now you're actually playing that. First of all, the vast majority of the brain is developed by something like 16 or something like that. I'm not. I have a game for age of consent to be there. I'm not saying that, but we're just using science. And then the rest of the development that happens between then and 25 and it is different between most people is all life experiences. So if you. Yeah, shut the up for a second. Let me talk you dumb. I swear you're. I understand. I get him. I understand them. And if you don't allow those people to actually have life experiences and make mistakes and learn from things, their brain's never going to be developed or it's going to develop premature or like it's not going to develop enough by the time that it needs to. So if you're saying to 21 year old is a child, you're preventing them from having the life experiences they need to have for that full development. And what the fuck are you talking about? We're literally allowing people to drive multi ton vehicles down the street at 75 miles per hour 16. So I don't give a. If a 21 year old is having sex with someone. We're allowing people to go work in restaurants and whatnot at 15, 16, 17 with a bunch of people smoking behind the fucking dumpster. I don't care if someone's having dinner with someone at 18, 19, 20, 21. People are signing up to go shoot guns and get their heads blown off at 18. I don't care if someone takes a dick in the pussy at 21. What is this weird infantilization that only happens regarding sex? Only sex. It is so weird. What is this? Why do we treat people like they are babies when they can die? When they can vote for the future of the country? When they can have jobs at 16 where they can drive a fucking truck that could kill someone at 16? Why is it only acting like people are children when it comes to having having boobs, butts, dicks, vaginas. What is this anti sex culture we have where we just act like everyone is a child? And no, that's not advocating for 18. I'm not saying that. But this 21 year old thing. You're weird, man. That is actually weird.

[B]

My 41 year old boyfriend. It is weird.

[A]

That's it. You're a bitter ex. You're a bitter ex and no one is surprised that you are the ex that got broken up with after this conversation. No one is surprised. What's your phone bill? Your portion?

[B]

145.

[A]

Dude. So what's your gas? A room from Drive Drive on a monthly basis.

[B]

Car and motorcycle, about 160.

[A]

So you already have a motorcycle?

[B]

Yeah, I have the motorcycle that my just. I don't want that motorcycle anymore. No, it's his car insurance.

[A]

How much? It's still his car insurance is how much?

[B]

140,000.

[A]

Necessary food in order to survive, 300 TP fund. Anything else you need to survive? Including tampons? 4 now $100. Medical, healthcare, co pays. How many STD tests you need?

[B]

I get tested every three months, but the co pays and meds are supposed to go on my FSA but I still haven't received that.

[A]

Okay, how much do you spend on your CO pays on a monthly basis?

[B]

CO pays 80s meds, 50.

[A]

Okay, how much for a gym a month?

[B]

Month? I work out at home.

[A]

Not enough subscriptions, 40 bucks. Pet insurance, 100 bucks. How much for pet food?

[B]

I have it written down. Let's see.

[A]

Glad you brought things written down, but. But not including things that are in

[B]

your budget, the pet food and their prescriptions is about 171.

[A]

Anything else that needs to be in your budget? That's not there. So over this conversation we already know you're dramatically under. So I don't know what the I'm doing. Gotta get another job. I'm not even including your mother in this because I'm hoping your family steps the up.

[B]

Hopefully.

[A]

But I have a feeling they don't want to talk to you. $4,490.70 to survive. 3,600. I mean, I'm sorry. I'm not gonna have a productive end in this conversation, nor are you entitled to it. $890.70 underwater. You just need to go get a. A job. You are not respected in capitalism in San Diego. The market does not respect your position. You don't make enough to survive. I'm sorry. Go get a better job working on your career. I don't care. Listen, you're. You're a dick. I was addict to you. Seventh apology. Hopefully you accept it. I don't know.

[B]

I don't.

[A]

I don't even. I don't even know. Let's get your financial school. Just get a better job. If you can budget for a few months, maybe you can go through bankruptcy, clear this debt. But you are party she again. The reason why I'm just flying through this part, guys, is because she's just gonna go get a motorcycle next month. So it's like what the am I even doing? It's like what a waste of time. I'm not. I'm not gonna. No, I'm not spending time on that spending in a budget. You overspent. 0 to 10 debt. No collections for horrendous debt for you. It's about a two out of ten though because there's only a couple accounts emergency fund. Not enough for a one out in retirement. Was a ten out of ten for your age. Real estate zero out of ten.

[B]

Ten.

[A]

It's a number. It's not my opinion. Well, I guess it is my opinion.

[B]

I respect your opinion. You're welcome.

[A]

Good. Then take to heart that I don't like you. Join us for the post show. Let's see what's going to happen. Oh, okay. I guess we might confront the stepdad and talk about the o. Let's see what happens. Oh, okay. Post show might be crazy. I'll see you guys there. Join Hammer Elite. Three premium shows posted every single day, six days a week. What the do you want?

[B]

I wanted to know why you got me kicked out of the BDSM club.

[A]

You act like you run the place. You never pay any of your dues. You can just see a big tits. You can do whatever you want. Don't forget to download the new dollar wise budgeting app. This is officially now the best budgeting app on the market. And I'm giving you a special deal to download, but only through March 31st. Take a free three day trial to test it out and then you get the monthly monthly plan at a 33 discount for the first three months or the annual plan at an insane 50 discount. And with the annual you get my budget Friendly Cookbook and my brand new 30 day detailed budget meal plan signed by me and mailed directly to you after March 31st. The cookbook is going away forever. So this is literally your last chance. Don't miss the opportunity of a lifetime. Download Dollar Wise and start your free trial. Go to Dollarwise.com or click the link below.

[B]

Jackson Hewitt handles your taxes and your stress Inhale our no surprise price of 149 on less exhale paying more for complicated taxes. You won't inhale new tax law knowledge Exhale Missing out on your biggest refund? Certainly not. Don't miss paying 149 or less. Rest easy. Jackson Hewitt's got your taxes Guaranteed limited time offer for new clients on federal terms. Participating locations only [e-mail] 149.