Financial Audit: 90-Day Fiancé (June 4, 2025)

Main Theme / Purpose

In this episode of Financial Audit, host Caleb Hammer sits down with Jedediah, a 36-year-old software engineer from Colorado Springs. The focus is on Jedediah’s complex personal finances, particularly as they relate to his recent international engagement to a woman from Cameroon—a scenario reminiscent of the reality show "90 Day Fiancé." The conversation explores the financial realities, pitfalls, and emotional underpinnings of international relationships, large life transitions, and living beyond one’s means, all with Caleb’s trademark blend of humor and blunt honesty.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. 90-Day Fiancé—Jedediah’s Version (00:04–13:02)

• Jedediah describes how, after unsuccessful dating in the US, he used OkCupid's passport mode to meet women from around the world, ultimately meeting his fiancée from Cameroon. He has also dated women from Brazil and Turkey.
• The host presses Jedediah on what makes his story different from the 90 Day Fiancé archetype. After some back-and-forth, Jedediah admits, "There’s nothing really different about it" (04:26).
• Jedediah paid a $1,000 dowry ("bride price") to his fiancée’s family as per Cameroonian tradition (08:55–09:05).
• Caleb challenges the motivations behind Jedediah's relationships, particularly the “ticket to America” factor:
  • "Your opening message was, 'Do you want to come to the United States?'" (10:13, Caleb)
  • Jedediah justifies this: "That's like the ultimate goal" (10:18)
  • Caleb presses on the risk of being used for immigration status; Jedediah acknowledges but downplays the concern.
• Meeting in person was a requirement to begin immigration paperwork; Jedediah traveled to Cameroon after two years of online communication (06:12–06:28).

2. Relationship History & Previous International Dating (06:37–08:53)

• Jedediah briefly dated a Brazilian woman first. She traveled to the US but their relationship faltered, partly due to personality clashes and financial disagreements ("She was a fiery Brazilian… she would drink a lot. I’d let her borrow my car…” 07:56–08:53).
• Host probes for a pattern or “international kink,” questioning why Jedediah only sought international partners.
  • “Did you have a hard time dating nationally?” (07:10, Caleb)
  • Jedediah claims, “The quality was higher… they're nicer, prettier, smarter” (07:42).

3. Financial Reality Check—Income & Expenses (12:32–16:15)

• Jedediah is now earning $10,000/month after-tax via two software engineering jobs (12:34–13:02).
• He acknowledges earning much less when he met his fiancée.
  • “When I met her, I didn’t make anywhere near that much. Probably more like $3,500 a month.” (13:05)
• Fiancée does eyelash and hair work, aiming to work legally in the US after obtaining her green card (13:19–13:36).
• Host explores the long-term risk: “What happens after three years of marriage and she has a green card?” (13:39, Caleb). Jedediah admits it’s possible she could leave after gaining permanent status.

4. The Real Cost of International Love (15:00–24:10)

• Jedediah’s trip to Cameroon, along with medical bills, contributed to draining his emergency fund and accruing significant credit card debt.
• He justifies using emergency savings to fund the engagement and immigration requirements: “We can’t get married and be together until I went there” (18:36).
• Caleb objects: “An emergency fund is for emergencies, and then a trip can be saved up for as a trip fund.” (18:44)
• Total trip & dowry cost: approx. $8,000 (“The trip cost me like a grand or something... had to pay the dowry.” 19:07–19:11)
• Jedediah details spending habits: premium food (grass-fed beef), pre-bought water, concert season tickets—arguing this is about “quality of life.”

5. Lifestyle Inflation & Spending Habits (24:10–27:21)

• Host dissects Jedediah’s monthly spending:
  • Large outlays on high-end groceries and entertainment (symphony tickets, arts events).
  • Caleb: “You spent more just on grass-fed beef specifically than you need to on groceries in an entire month... meal prepping in general.” (25:13–25:24)
  • Jedediah: "I eat over a pound [of beef] a day." (26:08)
• Jedediah aspires to buy a house soon so he can farm chickens and have more control over his food supply (27:11–28:44), giving a window into his homesteader ambitions.

6. “Finessing” the System—Intro Offers & Card Churning (36:09–44:42)

• Jedediah holds multiple credit cards to chase bonus offers, cashback, and intro zero-APR periods.
  • Caleb: “You have so many cards, man. What kind of finessing are you trying to do?” (65:55)
• He’s been making just minimum payments during interest-free periods, planning to pay off before interest hits, but Caleb warns of the risks: “You put yourself in a risky situation with leading this entire huge balance that’s about to hit interest rate.” (45:04)
• Accumulated credit card debt: $20,200 across several cards, all facing impending interest accrual. (“You have to make a payment that is worth double your net income on a monthly basis. I don’t know. Math’s not adding up for me.” 61:17)

7. Emergency Fund—Drained for Non-Emergencies (46:59–59:20)

• Large portions of Jedediah’s “emergency fund” have been spent on anticipated, non-emergency events (trip to Cameroon, season tickets, pre-paying utilities, buying computers).
• Host’s core message: “You’re draining the emergency fund to pay off your credit card, which at least 1,000 just this last month went to miscellaneous… not just the emergencies.” (76:24)
• Caleb explains the true purpose: “Emergency fund keeps you alive for six months if you get laid off… you are putting yourself in a dangerous position.” (75:33)

8. Patterns of Financial Rationalization & Self-Disclosure (59:20–79:50)

• Jedediah tends to justify excessive or unnecessary spending, often blaming timing or insisting purchases were “necessary.”
• He reveals quirky habits (pre-buying, couponing, hacking rewards programs) that ultimately waste time or yield only small savings.
  • “I was essentially buying one can of cat food at a time to get the most roundup… made money on that purchase… like 30 cents, but they gave me 70 cents.” (72:01–72:47)
• Significant money also spent on music CDs rather than streaming (classical collection) and multiple computers (some ruined by home yogurt or sourdough projects); Jedediah delays selling them, overvaluing their worth.

9. Future Planning & Goals (80:05–End)

• Jedediah’s housing ambitions are on hold—he needs to pay off all credit card debt and rebuild his emergency fund before even thinking about a down payment.
• Host sets out a “bare minimum” living budget: $3,054/month (rent/utilities, groceries, cat food, necessary expenses).
  • “You just have to like, just live on your needs and not go crazy.” (82:11, Caleb)
• Retirement savings are minimal (“You’re still dramatically behind for your age…” 79:37).
• Caleb delivers a tough assessment: “What you have done is a disaster... You’re destroying it.” (75:33–76:16)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

International Dating & 90-Day Fiance

• Jedediah: “Would you like to come move to America with me? It’s getting a lonely in my apartment with my cat.” (05:19)
• Caleb: “So you just fully mail ordered bride?” (04:28)
• Jedediah: “I mean, there’s nothing really different [than 90 Day Fiancé] about it.” (04:26)

On Motivation/Risk

• Caleb: “How does it feel? All those women... literally agree to that first message about just using you to come to the United States?” (09:39)
• Jedediah: “That’s... a really negative way to look at it.” (11:17)

Spending & Lifestyle

• Caleb: “You spent more just on grass fed beef specifically than you need to on groceries in an entire month.” (25:13)
• Jedediah: “I eat over a pound a day.” (26:08)
• Caleb: “What are you prepping for?” (46:36)

On Debt & “Finessing”

• Caleb: “You have so many cards, man. What kind of finessing are you trying to do?” (65:55)
• Jedediah: “I was just trying to get the 5% back.” (66:03)
• Caleb: “You’re draining the emergency fund to pay off your credit card which at least 1,000 just this last month else alone went to miscellaneous... It’s not just the emergencies.” (76:24)

Caleb’s Score

• Caleb: “Spending: 0 out of 10… Debt: 2 out of 10… Emergency Fund: 6 out of 10… Retirement: 4 out of 10… Hammer Financial Score: 2.5 out of 10.” (79:25–80:05)

Humor & Relatable Chaos

• Chicken Story: Jedediah shares the strange tale of his pet chicken Harriet Potter being “evicted” from his apartment (32:29–34:43).
• On Couponing: “You sound like a couponer… took way too much time. They told me they would, it was suspicious activity.” (72:24–72:46)
• On Music: “It’s harder to download [classical music] illegally, so I just bought a bunch of $2 CDs to kind of build up a classical music collection… you live in 2005?” (62:50–63:11)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:04–04:26: The “90 Day Fiancé” similarities, dowry, and motivations behind international dating.
• 07:10–08:53: Challenges of domestic vs. international dating, failed Brazilian relationship.
• 12:32–13:36: Jedediah’s job, income, and fiancée’s work prospects.
• 15:00–19:11: Detailed breakdown of trip, emergency fund usage, and dowry.
• 24:10–27:21: Analysis of monthly spending and food expenses.
• 36:09–45:04: Debt breakdown, minimum payments, credit card juggling risks.
• 46:59–59:20: Emergency fund misuse and risk assessment.
• 59:20–79:50: Rationalization, “miscellaneous purchases”, dubious “finessing”, and music/technology purchases.
• 80:05–End: Budgeting reality, future goals, and final financial assessment.

Tone & Takeaways

• The conversation is candid, humorous, and at times confrontational. Caleb presses hard on the “rationalizations” behind questionable financial choices, pushing Jedediah to recognize the distinction between wants and genuine needs.
• Jedediah’s story highlights the unique, often overlooked, financial challenges of cross-cultural and international relationships, especially where immigration is involved.
• Key lessons include the dangers of living on the financial edge, why emergency funds are not for pre-planned expenses, and the importance of honest self-assessment. Caleb’s pointed scoring and blunt feedback underscore just how precarious Jedediah’s situation truly is—“You’re destroying it.”
• The episode wraps with actionable, if stern, advice: Pay down debt, rebuild emergency savings, live below your means, and don’t treat credit cards as a “finesse” game unless you can back it up with discipline and surplus cash.

For listeners seeking relatable personal finance lessons—with a side of real-life chaos, cross-cultural romance, and pet chicken drama—this episode delivers both education and entertainment in classic Caleb Hammer style.