Financial Audit: Intervention

Summary

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Financial Audit: Intervention

Podcast: Financial Audit
Host: Caleb Hammer
Guests: Stacy & Aaron
Date: June 8, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode of Financial Audit is billed as an "intervention"—and it lives up to that promise. Caleb meets Stacy, a 25-year-old commercial wallpaper hanger/painter, and Aaron, a 26-year-old maintenance technician. The couple, together for just five months, dive into the messy details of their whirlwind relationship, rapid cohabitation, and entangled finances. What starts as an audit of their money quickly turns into a raw (often uncomfortable) therapy session about trust, lies, cheating, and life choices—all sprinkled with Caleb’s signature unfiltered commentary.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Lightning-Fast Relationship & Questionable Decisions

• Met at a funeral, hooked up that night, and moved in together within a month.

  • [05:19] Stacy: "Yeah, we moved in basically right away."
  • Both admit the pace was fueled by previous relationships—Stacy was exiting a marriage, Aaron had just left a long-term girlfriend.
  • Caleb is openly critical: "What the f*** is wrong with you? That's a mess. No, don't be a delusional." [05:51]

• Why the rush?

  • Financial and housing insecurity played a big role.
  • Stacy: "I was either going to move in with my parents or my grandpa..." [14:59]
  • Aaron got free housing through his work.

2. Money Matters: On Paper, Good Income—In Practice, Disaster

• Stacy makes $45/hour, often working overtime; Aaron makes $25/hour but gets free housing.

  • Stacy: "I'm the only wallpaper hanger. They're hard to come by... Starbuck's wants wallpaper." [02:08]
  • Financially, their incomes could be strong—Stacy, $6,066/month; Aaron, $3,200/month.

• But they're living as a combined household after just five months.

  • Ongoing debate about combining finances:
    • Stacy wants to combine soon ("I want us to eventually come together..." [53:08])
    • Aaron is more skeptical ("I want you to have your own, I got my own stuff." [07:15])
  • Caleb: "Combining finances five months in honeymoon phase. What the f*** is wrong with you? Not even close." [06:00]

• Financial audit shows poor management and mounting debt:

  • Stacy is behind on credit cards (e.g., $9,518 on Venture One), habitually making late payments.
  • Spending on non-essentials, e.g., concerts, Amazon, bars, is high and poorly tracked.
  • Aaron has a car loan with a high balance ($19,800) and overall weak money skills. Admits: "My money management is shit." [28:32]
  • Both admit to being financially "about a two" out of ten. [53:20]

3. Trust Issues and Relationship Drama

• Frequent lying, mutual accusations of cheating, and all-around distrust:

  • Stacy describes Aaron hiding financial support for a former roommate [24:35] and ongoing distrust over money flows (Zelle transfers, late rent explanations).
  • Aaron: "You probably shouldn't have been given him money." [25:16]
  • Aaron repeatedly admits to lying to avoid conflict: "I've told two big lies within a few months..." [36:31]
  • Caleb: "Just these lies for no reason, to look better? Because what a stupid, pointless thing to lie about." [26:36]

• Stacy’s struggles with leaving her ex, plus emotional and physical overlap at the start:

  • Both admit there was "crossover" between their old relationships and the start of their own [11:33].
  • Stacy shares her divorce was catalyzed by her feeling like a caretaker: "I felt like a mother when I don’t have kids...when he was home, I did everything." [09:59]

• Accusations of cheating, phone snooping, and miscommunication:

  • Aaron demanded to see Stacy's messages with her ex, citing suspicion after Stacy met him for dinner. Debate over a "kiss" and sending her ex flowers. [39:03-43:41]
  • Vanish/autodelete mode became a sticking point: Caleb: "I would be very, very sketched out if I looked over and the girl I'm with is having vanish mode conversations with her ex-husband." [47:00]

4. Clashing Personalities, Social Dynamics, and Public Humiliation

• Aaron’s persona: “Cringe Lord” Redditor/4chan energy, constant performative joking, self-admitted “loser” in high school.

  • Caleb and Brandon both struggle with Aaron’s "elder millennial cringe lord" approach ["You, sir, are incredibly cringe." – Brandon 70:02]
  • Stacy claims, rather resignedly: "He’s never boring." [72:22]
  • Multiple on-air interventions insist Stacy "can do so much better" and urge her not to propose—shocking, as she plans to in the post-show (!).
    • Caleb: "Please, please, please leave this man...You can go get a solid 5 out of 10 that’s gonna be so much better than this guy." [59:26]

• Brandon, a recurring cast member, tries to "translate" or soften Aaron’s performance and gives advice:

  • "Try to do something cool after high school so that you don’t have to keep referencing high school." [70:52]

• Caleb's harshest critique yet:

  • "When I say nobody likes you, I mean it." [66:12]
  • Aaron’s reaction is largely unfazed: "I don’t really give a shit." [87:48]

5. Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On their meet-cute:

  • Caleb: "You met at a funeral and you f*ed that night...Raw." [15:13]

• On combining finances:

  • Caleb: "Combining finances five months in honeymoon phase. What the f*** is wrong with you?" [06:00]

• Aaron's self-description:

  • "Always wanted a MILF in high school and you know, I'm 25." [10:34]
  • "I'm just lore dumping, man." [81:58]

• On their relationship’s fate:

  • Caleb: "This is going to blow up—things will be intertwined, I've had to deal with this on the show. Exes have had money that's intertangled and had to try to rip it apart. And it's weird. It gets f*ed up." [27:12]
  • Caleb (to Stacy): "Please, please, please leave this man." [59:28]
  • Caleb: "This is the moment where we can stop an actual mistake from happening." (re: proposal) [90:31]
  • Brandon: "You hold onto her with your dear life...because she's the only one that's going to feel that way." [92:59]

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• [01:30]–[05:32]: Relationship background; income reveal; moving in fast.
• [14:36]–[21:13]: Housing insecurity, self-admitted dysfunction, origins of relationship.
• [26:33]: Stacy confronts Aaron’s pattern of lying for “no reason.”
• [36:11]–[36:35]: The couple recounts instances of lying and debating boundaries.
• [39:03]–[44:16]: Accusations of cheating, parsing events with Stacy’s ex.
• [50:03]–[51:46]: High school drama, mutual friend group mess, beginnings rooted in cheating.
• [53:16]: Both rate their financial situation as a "2" out of 10.
• [59:26]–[60:32]: Caleb’s intervention—urges Stacy not to propose.
• [70:02]–[72:15]: Personality audit, “cringe lord,” and audience translation.
• [90:29]–[92:11]: Post-show proposal plans revealed; friends and hosts intervene, highly discouraging action.

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Final Thoughts

This "Intervention" episode transforms from a financial audit into a full-on relationship and personality dissection. Stacy and Aaron’s situation is a messy tableau of impulsive decisions, mounting debt, codependency, and unresolved baggage—not to mention Aaron’s relentless, self-effacing internet persona that frustrates both the host and audience.

Caleb (and guests) spend most of the episode urging Stacy to pause and reconsider intertwining her life (and finances) any further with Aaron. The pervading tone is a mix of sarcasm, frustration, and genuine concern, as the hosts plead for self-respect and better judgment.

The relationship’s future? Grim, unless both parties address their issues—and seriously slow down.

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Notable Quotes Summary Table

| Timestamp | Quote | Speaker | |---|---|---| | 05:51 | "What the f*** is wrong with you? That's a mess. No, don't be a delusional." | Caleb | | 06:00 | "Combining finances five months in honeymoon phase. What the f*** is wrong with you?" | Caleb | | 11:33 | "They had a little crossover, but I'm not supposed to say that." | Stacy | | 24:35 | "He had his old roommate come over, looks at you and says, 'Oh, so when are you gonna pay me rent?'... he told me he stopped paying rent two months ago." | Stacy | | 26:36 | "Just these lies for no reason, to look better? Because what a stupid, pointless thing to lie about." | Caleb | | 39:03 | "You accused her of cheating. You had to go through all her Instagram messages, all her text messages, all that." | Caleb | | 59:26 | "Please, please, please leave this man. Stacy, you can do so much better." | Caleb | | 66:12 | "Nobody likes you. I'm so sorry to say this. This is so mean. But nobody likes you." | Caleb | | 87:48 | "How does it feel to be surrounded by...people that legitimate look down on you and don't like you, which no other guest in this show has ever experienced?" | Caleb | | 90:31 | "This is the moment where we can stop an actual mistake from happening." | Caleb (about the proposal plan) |

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Summary Judgment:
Stacy, don’t propose.
Aaron, fix your money and your performative approach to life.
Listeners: Don’t mix heartbreak, cohabitation, financial responsibility, and impulsive decisions—especially in five months.

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Transcript

[Caleb Hammer]

To watch episodes of Financial Audit a week earlier. Check us out on YouTube. You accused her of cheating. You had to go through all her Instagram messages, all her text messages, all that.

[Stacy]

He just leaned in to kiss me, and I just let it happen. I. I didn't know what to do.

[Caleb Hammer]

You have no agency. What the is this?

[Stacy]

He's like, six foot five.

[Caleb Hammer]

One thing you don't know is that, yeah, she has, like, fully just gone out and sent her ex while you guys are together. He tried to specifically turn off the vanish mode auto delete stuff on your phone, and you wouldn't let him.

[Stacy]

It wasn't on.

[Aaron]

That was literally on.

[Stacy]

It was not.

[Aaron]

It was on.

[Stacy]

I saw you grab my phone and turn it on and then be like, look, it's on.

[Caleb Hammer]

This is the moment where we can stop an actual mistake from happening. Once you guys get slightly out of the excitement, this relationship's done. I just launched the brand new Hammer Elite app, available on every major platform. To celebrate the app launch, I'm offering 30 off the annual plan in the month of June. June only. Plus, I have an exclusive offer just for you. But I'll only have a thousand available to purchase. You'll get lifetime access to the entire Hammer Elite catalog and my Hammer for Life box packed with limited edition merch. Download the Hammer Elite app by using the link in the description or pinned comment down below. This is the best membership you'll ever join. And that's a promise.

[Stacy]

Hi, my name is Stacy. I'm 25 years old.

[Aaron]

Hi, I'm Aaron, 26. We're from Everett, Washington, and this is Financial Audit.

[Caleb Hammer]

Hey, guys. Thanks for coming to Austin. Happy to have you. Stacey, what do you do for a living in Everett?

[Stacy]

I am a commercial wallpaper hanger and painter.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, interesting. I've never even heard of people doing that. The painting part, sure. But commercial wallpaper, why not? Okay, sure. What do you make doing that hanging wallpaper?

[Stacy]

4506 an hour.

[Caleb Hammer]

Really? $45 an hour. Okay. You're doing well. I'd say you're doing really well.

[Aaron]

Okay. Wow.

[Caleb Hammer]

I mean, that's as far as hourly income goes on this show. Pretty damn good. How many hours a week are you working?

[Stacy]

40. But lately I've been doing like, 60. It's been pretty brutal.

[Caleb Hammer]

That's incredible. Well, by choice or they're making you

[Stacy]

a little bit of both. I'm the only wallpaper hanger. They're hard to come by.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, because who the is hanging wallpaper?

[Stacy]

But sure, Starbucks wants the wallpaper.

[Aaron]

You've been doing a lot of double nights.

[Stacy]

So many Starbucks nights.

[Caleb Hammer]

You work in nights?

[Stacy]

Yeah, sometimes.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, cool. So what does that translate to into money that hits your account per paycheck cycle?

[Stacy]

I think roughly 1400 a week. Lot of taxes.

[Caleb Hammer]

That's what hits. Yeah, well, not a lot of taxes. You're not in that lot of taxes range. No, you're not.

[Stacy]

Okay. The union, I don't. They take a lot for like a

[Caleb Hammer]

maybe union, but that's not taxes like in the state of Washington either. It's like you're not like. No.

[Stacy]

Okay.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, no.

[Aaron]

Got to walk in a little bit here.

[Stacy]

It's like 9% over there.

[Caleb Hammer]

Huh?

[Stacy]

Their taxes.

[Caleb Hammer]

9% what?

[Stacy]

I don't know.

[Aaron]

I don't know anything about taxes, man. I just go on TurboTax. I file every year. I don't really give a sh. T. Just.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, sure, but we're talking about her. Okay, so that is $6,066 a month. Okay. On average. I. You know, some weeks are going to be. Or some months are longer. Some weeks or some months or less, but that's what it averaged out to pretty good. Now, Aaron, we can talk about you since you wanted to talk about yourself. Very happy about that.

[Aaron]

Yeah, I like.

[Caleb Hammer]

How's your opportunity? What do you do for your job?

[Aaron]

I am a maintenance technician for an apartment complex company.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, so you don't make the money.

[Aaron]

No, but you know, I do try.

[Caleb Hammer]

Hey, shack up with the golden goose, the mother of money. I mean, sugar mama, we love it. What do you make?

[Aaron]

I make about 25 an hour. Okay.

[Caleb Hammer]

But you know, forever at Washington, obviously you do need more money. 25 would stretch further here than there, but. Okay, very good. What, 40 hours a week?

[Aaron]

Yeah, just about. You have to get OT approved by the bigger bosses and whatnot. But, you know, if you're encountering a leak or a fire situation, that kind of just.

[Caleb Hammer]

So what hits your account per paycheck? Cycle. What is that cycle?

[Aaron]

I would say average. It can be about 6,16,000 and some change every. Sorry. Every two weeks.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay.

[Aaron]

600?

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, yeah, I mean, I got. Okay. No, I mean, I understood, but. Okay. 3200. Very good. Okay, wonderful. So like half of what she's making. You guys are doing well together. You guys are doing well together.

[Aaron]

Yeah, for the most part.

[Caleb Hammer]

How long have we been together?

[Aaron]

Five months.

[Stacy]

Five months.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, so this is not a marriage. I don't. At least I don't think it's. You guys are not married, right?

[Stacy]

15 years, though. So, I mean, it's been. We're not married.

[Aaron]

Well, that.

[Stacy]

We're not married.

[Caleb Hammer]

Nothing to do with anything. I just asked. But I appreciate the lore drop.

[Stacy]

Hey, it's good so far.

[Caleb Hammer]

What is?

[Stacy]

We've known each other for so long.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, very good. But you've been together for five months.

[Stacy]

Yeah.

[Aaron]

Okay.

[Caleb Hammer]

I don't really understand the. The point of that part, but I thank you. That was beneficial. So $9,266, but I can't really combine it because you guys have only been together for five months, so you even live together? I mean, probably not. That would be crazy.

[Aaron]

Yeah, we.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, that's crazy.

[Aaron]

Yeah, we live together currently.

[Caleb Hammer]

How long have you guys lived together? About.

[Aaron]

Yeah, five months.

[Stacy]

December. Yeah, December.

[Caleb Hammer]

You guys moved in on the first date? Yeah.

[Aaron]

I mean, if you really want to say it like that, then yeah, just now.

[Caleb Hammer]

The answer would be preferable.

[Stacy]

Yeah, we moved in basically right away. Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

How? How? Okay. I mean, you guys are honeymoon phasing it. That's fine. Listen, I mean, is marriage even in the picture here? I don't know. With how quick you guys are moving, I'm surprised you're not at this. Okay, well, we're not combining this. I mean, that is an interesting financial position, I guess, to be in on

[Stacy]

this side of the table to combine

[Caleb Hammer]

things five months in. What the is wrong with you? That's a mess. No, don't be a delusional.

[Stacy]

We need to get our together before we combine things. And then I want to for sure.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yes, but I wouldn't say that's when you combine when you get your together. I think you should get your together regardless. I don't think we're getting together where Combining all of our bank accounts five months after getting together and immediately moving in. That's a little too quick. I'm someone that has no problem with moving quick. But combining finances five months in honeymoon phase. What the is wrong with you? Not even close. That even something we'd consider, you know,

[Aaron]

just kind of happens and it sure does.

[Caleb Hammer]

And you have a choice whether or not it does for the most part, including combining finances. So what the you talk about happens? What?

[Aaron]

Well, I mean, I love her. I mean, what do you want me to say?

[Caleb Hammer]

No. Very good. But you're in the honeymoon phase. I mean, come on, before we combine all these accounts, before you have any legal protections that come with marriage, by the way. So, like.

[Aaron]

All right, to be fair, she's the one that mostly wants to combine shit at this point.

[Stacy]

I don't want to combine.

[Aaron]

Well, I'M not saying that. It's just like he just said, we're not even married yet, so I don't.

[Stacy]

I know, but I thought you wanted to, too.

[Aaron]

Look, you're the breadwinner in this relationship. Let's just make that very blatantly truth. I mean, as much as I have a fully comped unit, so technically, I'm making 37 an hour, if we're being realistic, because rent's like, what, 1750. But, I mean, you're already wanting to combine. I want you to have your own. I got my own stuff.

[Caleb Hammer]

You think it would be. He would. Who would want to combine? Because he's the one that doesn't make money for the area, and you make good money, but you want to combine. Why? Because you have, like, no pressures. You feel nothing.

[Stacy]

Well, I mean, obviously there's some pressure, else I wouldn't be here, but I feel like. I mean, where do I want to go with this?

[Caleb Hammer]

Why do you want to combine so quick?

[Aaron]

You'd think I'd be the gold digger.

[Caleb Hammer]

I'm so married. Okay, that's a bit weird. Can we not, like, not be married to another guy before you?

[Aaron]

To be fair, I told her I wanted to wait. I wanted to wait a year before we talked seriously about marriage. I mean, we talk about it. You know what I'm saying?

[Caleb Hammer]

Like when?

[Aaron]

Just from when we started dating, around December. So, I mean, it's not like I'm looking to marry her right now. Do I want to? I mean, yeah, but I feel like

[Caleb Hammer]

with the path she's going, she'd do it in this exact second. If I could marry you guys, I feel like she would. I mean, she's laughing like a witch about it.

[Aaron]

Yeah, I mean, she kind of. Yeah. Sometimes I don't want to go home to my wife anyhow, so. I mean.

[Caleb Hammer]

Your wife?

[Stacy]

See, he's not opposed.

[Aaron]

I mean, I call her my wife.

[Caleb Hammer]

Are you guys married?

[Aaron]

No, I call her my wife. It's more in the metaphorical sense. We're. We're boyfriend, girlfriend.

[Caleb Hammer]

But of five months. This is like a high school thing. What the are you guys doing? The reality is you guys remed at a funeral and you through that night. Yeah, there you go. Now, there is an actually interesting element into this. Why don't you say, I don't care about you?

[Aaron]

I just like to talk if I'm being pretty insane.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah. So you guys. We met at a funeral?

[Aaron]

Pretty much.

[Caleb Hammer]

Great. You married and you bent her over. Over the casket.

[Stacy]

Hey, I was going through the divorce Process.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, why the were you guys at this funeral that you guys up?

[Aaron]

Our buddy reached out to me. He wanted me there for moral support. I tried gathering friends.

[Caleb Hammer]

You should have been there for moral support instead of bending her over.

[Aaron]

All right, that was later that we were very drunk, but, you know, I kind of said that sounds charming. I mean, we love going berserk. I mean, I love it. It's great. It's great. I love it.

[Stacy]

I don't think you should say that after he just said. Oh.

[Aaron]

Oh, he did?

[Stacy]

Yes.

[Aaron]

Well, you guys, there was no rant.

[Caleb Hammer]

She said you were. She was like blacked out drunk.

[Aaron]

Oh, we were both drunk.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, but you've seen the posters.

[Aaron]

Seen the posters.

[Caleb Hammer]

Have you seen the posters?

[Aaron]

That's a double standard.

[Caleb Hammer]

How long are you in the divorce process at this point, do you know?

[Stacy]

Oh, God, like two months. Not very long. Yeah, my husband was deployed and I was trying to figure.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, very good.

[Stacy]

Yeah, no, he was deployed and I was trying to figure out like I was trying to get all my ducks in a row before, you know, like

[Caleb Hammer]

leaving and you know, leaving a dude while he's overseas is pretty brutal.

[Aaron]

He was an asshole.

[Stacy]

He's an. I had to get out of there.

[Caleb Hammer]

Was he an asshole? He was overseas just texting mean things.

[Stacy]

Well, it was. Life is just easier when he wasn't home. When he was home, I did all the cooking, I did all the cleaning. I took care of everything. I felt like a mother when I don't have kids. Like, I. I don't know. It's just every time he left, it was easier when he was gone. And so, I mean, why put myself through all of that when I could just go somewhere else.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah. And immediately check up at a funeral with him. Okay. And you weren't married, right?

[Aaron]

No, I was just dating a 40 year old.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah.

[Aaron]

You heard that? I did not stutter.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, I'm just looking at your age. I mean, I don't care. I think you were a 26 year old.

[Aaron]

Always wanted a MILF in high school and you know, I'm 25.

[Caleb Hammer]

Wait till 26. Oh, 25.

[Aaron]

Yeah, well, you know, I was a pussy, basically.

[Caleb Hammer]

A kid.

[Aaron]

Yeah. I was groomed. I, uh.

[Brandon]

Huh.

[Stacy]

That's some strong language.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah.

[Stacy]

Okay, stop.

[Caleb Hammer]

So, okay, well, you were dating this woman how long?

[Aaron]

It was about two years. About to be three.

[Caleb Hammer]

What? You were three?

[Aaron]

Yeah, I was about. We were about to go on our third year of dating, but near the end.

[Caleb Hammer]

Did you break up with her?

[Aaron]

It was before her and I did anything to be fair. So.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay.

[Aaron]

It was already going downhill.

[Caleb Hammer]

He's giving a face. What is that face

[Aaron]

you wanna do? You wanna put it out there? You wanna lay your nuts out on something?

[Caleb Hammer]

I'm fine.

[Stacy]

My nuts are tucked under the table.

[Caleb Hammer]

What do you wanna say? I feel like this is the time.

[Aaron]

Lay your nuts out.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay.

[Aaron]

I love my strong.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. Dude. My goodness.

[Stacy]

They had a little crossover, but I'm not supposed to say that. I just gave a look, so.

[Caleb Hammer]

I mean, you're not supposed to say it.

[Stacy]

I don't think so, right?

[Aaron]

No.

[Stacy]

No.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, you guys didn't tell me there was some crossover.

[Stacy]

Wasn't that on the list of, like, oh, you just don't want to call.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. Oh, cool. Beat that name. For what it's worth. Yes. We're not calling the X. That's on your list. Okay, that's fine. But. What? There was a crossover. Of what?

[Aaron]

It wasn't really a crossover. I. It was.

[Caleb Hammer]

I've seen that person and her at the funeral.

[Aaron]

No, wait, sorry.

[Caleb Hammer]

Crossover of what?

[Stacy]

Like, while you guys were dating, kind of. Even though it was, like, towards the end when things were rocky.

[Aaron]

No, I broke it off with her before anything really happened.

[Caleb Hammer]

I wasn't saying that.

[Aaron]

I don't know.

[Stacy]

I wasn't aware of that.

[Caleb Hammer]

Shouldn't you just say that for the camera? That there was no crossover? Cause it seems like there was a crossover.

[Aaron]

No, there was not. Cause then the relationship would just be based on cheating. I mean, at least. At least on my end. I mean, at least on my end.

[Caleb Hammer]

So it would be based on cheating. Why did she have the perception that it was based on cheating?

[Aaron]

I mean, like I said earlier, I'm just chalking it up as, like, miscommunication. I probably just didn't simply tell her that. That's what I'm assuming at this point. I mean.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, I feel like I'm being kind of jerked off right now.

[Aaron]

I could. I mean.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, that's not a joke. That's like. I feel like. Come on. I feel like, first of all, she was like. She was supposed to not say that. And then, like, no one told me anything. It's just like. And now you're saying it didn't happen. I'm reading this very weird.

[Aaron]

I do not know why she's.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why would she say, wait, didn't we want to not talk about that or something?

[Aaron]

We talked about a no, no list in there. I just didn't want to.

[Caleb Hammer]

The no, no list. Yeah, but you told me the no,

[Aaron]

no certain things that I Didn't really want to specify on a timeline because I didn't want to.

[Caleb Hammer]

Timeline.

[Aaron]

Timeline.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, well, we're not giving dates.

[Aaron]

No, no.

[Caleb Hammer]

I'm just asking if you were seeing her while you guys know. She.

[Stacy]

Oh, there was that thing with her kid.

[Aaron]

What then? Do you want to elaborate on that

[Stacy]

or stop seeing her? So the kid, like, missed you and wanted to see you?

[Aaron]

Oh, yeah. She had called. You know, we're co. The. The ex and I were still co workers and whatnot. And I had gotten pretty close with the child. We would game together, blah, blah, blah. And he didn't really have the necessary closure to understand, like, oh, you know, Aaron is not gonna be here anymore.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. Okay, whatever. That's a mess. I. I don't know. I don't understand. I feel like I'm getting jerked around. I don't know what's real, what's not, but who knows what the relationship is based on? Oh, but I think we all get the vibe. Why'd we move in so quick? Was it because you had nowhere else to go after immediately leaving her? Being with her?

[Aaron]

No, I was already living in. Excuse me. I'm so sorry. I was already living in Monroe at the time with a old roommate I was. I've been friends with since high school. To make a long story short on that, my company offers free comp rent for their workers, so I wanted to very. I wanted to jump ship, have some free rent.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, we were.

[Stacy]

We had a discussion. I mean, at the time, I was either going to move in with my parents or my grandpa, and I talked to him about it. He was like, oh, we could just get an apartment together.

[Aaron]

Yeah. Okay.

[Caleb Hammer]

Wait, so you guys at the funeral. Yes. Stuck in it raw.

[Aaron]

Yes.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, a hookup at the funeral. Not even wrapped.

[Aaron]

I finished inside.

[Caleb Hammer]

I painted her like a canvas.

[Aaron]

What do you want me to say?

[Stacy]

No one needs to know that.

[Aaron]

He's gonna get all descriptive.

[Caleb Hammer]

I mean, Jesus, I wasn't gonna get that descriptive. I didn't even know. Isn't that risky?

[Stacy]

I took a plan B the next day.

[Caleb Hammer]

Thank. Because I'm gonna say with how quick?

[Stacy]

No babies.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, not. Not the way you guys are doing it. The reason I actually asked that. I don't ask that. Just because I'm a degenerate. And I am. But either even without that, it's because how quick you guys are moving. You know how many accidental pregnancies happen in these kind of situations? And if you're raw dogging on that first me.

[Stacy]

Babies are slimy and gross. Right now.

[Caleb Hammer]

Right. And you're not on birth control. And he's blasting raw loads. So I'm on birth control now.

[Stacy]

I'm good.

[Aaron]

She's always been on birth.

[Stacy]

Mini pill.

[Caleb Hammer]

Great. So like. Yep. Okay. Good luck.

[Aaron]

What's so bad about that?

[Stacy]

The implant. The implant sucks. I was on my period for like three months at a time.

[Caleb Hammer]

Every day, exact same time, no flaws. And that's even still the lowest effective. But even still. Okay, so blew that load. And then how many days after. Well, and then how quick did we move in?

[Stacy]

Okay, so after that, right?

[Aaron]

Just about a little under a month.

[Stacy]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

And we got on a lease together. Shared lease. Because that's risky. A month in we are even. Just.

[Stacy]

See, I paid for all the deposits.

[Caleb Hammer]

We are sure you did. He has no money.

[Aaron]

Yeah, I didn't have the money at the time. I was gonna have my grandma help me with a little bit of it.

[Caleb Hammer]

We're confident he's not with you just for the money and housing.

[Aaron]

And I'm not no gold digger. I think that's some pussy, bro.

[Stacy]

Housing's free from him. So I mean, I don't know. I just had to pay the damage. Deposit.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, just with how quick he's moving though. But no, you're all for it though.

[Aaron]

I mean we're about to get the two bedroom and I want to pay for all that stuff.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, you're upgrading. Yeah, so it's going to be upgrading while on financial audit.

[Aaron]

So I was. What I had wanted when I first was looking for the comp department was a two by one. I wanted the space. She came into the picture now that became very much more required. But one wasn't ready at the time. So we've been making the one by one work and then we got approved for it. So all we have to pay for is just.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, okay, maybe you're not gold digging. That's fine.

[Stacy]

A new pet.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah.

[Aaron]

Cause I wanna.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, I wanna. Unfortunately, I don't give a shit. Okay.

[Aaron]

I wanna pay for all of that.

[Caleb Hammer]

I do care about this pet. So maybe you were trying to quickly get out of this husband situation though.

[Stacy]

Hey, I would have moved in with my grandma or my.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, exactly. I'm just still sussed at how quick you guys moved in together. I'm trying to figure that out. I. Who's running from something. But you get free housing. But you're with. You're going through the divorce. It's just you don't move in that quick. You don't get on a lease together. That Quick, I know you put the money down. But even still, it's so risky.

[Aaron]

I will admit I usually like to move slower in a relationship.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, this is the literal, but even still lack of that.

[Stacy]

It's like I'm the love of your life. Okay? There is no risk.

[Aaron]

Oh, there's that. You're not wrong about that. I've wanted you since high school. And then I finally wasn't chicken shit to admit that final. Everyone knew I was. I was so into you, but obsessed with high school.

[Caleb Hammer]

This guy. I don't understand. People's who. People whose lives, even starting mid-20s, who are still obsessed with high schools live the most pathetic life. It's the highlight of their lives. Like, what the. Okay, great. You worshiped her in high school. Yippee. We all had high school crushes and you finally got yours. Yeah, just using your high school crush to get out of that marriage. Move in real quick. Have some fun.

[Aaron]

You taking advantage of me?

[Stacy]

No, I wouldn't do that. Sometimes I feel like you don't believe me though.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why do you even feel that?

[Aaron]

There's been a couple instances where I

[Caleb Hammer]

ask her why she even feels that.

[Stacy]

I don't know. I feel like he doubts me a lot or like he questions my like, actions or I can't even think of anything specific, but I just feel like he questions my motives a lot. You want to be my sugar daddy? Is that what you want?

[Aaron]

I mean, traditionally, I'd like to like to.

[Caleb Hammer]

I mean, why don't you get.

[Aaron]

Because we have the free housing. We want to save up enough money to get a house after being married, obviously.

[Caleb Hammer]

This could be like in five seconds with your guys rate Well, I mean, if you have like 30 kids. Like, you guys are going crazy.

[Aaron]

Shit. 60k to buy a house right now in five seconds. Yeah, I'd get married to her, but that's just not a reality.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay?

[Aaron]

Can you shit 60k in five seconds?

[Caleb Hammer]

Dude, you are just. Who is around you ever in an enjoyable way? I don't understand.

[Aaron]

Very fair statement to me.

[Caleb Hammer]

That's not a good thing, buddy.

[Stacy]

I'm so used to it. I've heard it for so long.

[Caleb Hammer]

And you like this.

[Stacy]

You know the days.

[Caleb Hammer]

I like his personality.

[Stacy]

It's never boring.

[Caleb Hammer]

I'm bored listening to him. It's. It's. What the. He's just saying things for, I don't know, reaction or like, I. I don't. I don't understand now.

[Aaron]

This is all me.

[Stacy]

You can't tell me you don't want a reaction from people when you say certain things.

[Aaron]

If I'm really trying to piss them off.

[Stacy]

Laying your dick on.

[Caleb Hammer]

That's not everyone off. You're just saying things for. Were you a f ing loser in high school?

[Aaron]

A little bit, yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

You're obsessed with high school. No reason. He's trying to make up for it. This is. This is how people talk? That we're like losers?

[Aaron]

Yes.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. He's making up for it. Hey, you got the girl. Move the on, dude.

[Aaron]

Noted.

[Caleb Hammer]

Move the on. Get over it.

[Aaron]

There were good times in high school,

[Caleb Hammer]

but stop at this high school. I don't care.

[Aaron]

I digress.

[Caleb Hammer]

No one cares. You shouldn't care. Dude, I had a great high school experience. I love my high school. Okay?

[Stacy]

I hated high school.

[Caleb Hammer]

It was fantastic. And that's great too. That doesn't matter. But I don't, like, jerk off to it. It isn't the height of my life because my life isn't pathetic. If high school or college is the height of your life, you're not living life. You just moved on and just didn't do anything.

[Aaron]

It's not like I'm jerking my to the high school memories. I just. I reminisce about the good times I had in high school. My home life was then, and high school was my escape at the time. So, I mean, I just kind of reminisce from time to time.

[Caleb Hammer]

And drowning in student loans with massive interest rates. I see it on the show all the time. People get a loan to advance their careers, only to be left with sky high interest rates and crazy minimums that leave their paycheck gutted. Maybe you've already gone to a normal lender to try to refinance your private student loans, and they looked at your less than perfect credit score and hung up the phone. Maybe part of you even thought, yeah, that tracks. I guess I'm stuck. Stop it. You don't deserve to be buried in a high interest loan for the rest of your life because you hit a rough patch. The banks aren't rejecting you because you're a lost cause. They're rejecting you because you're not profitable enough for them at a manageable rate. That's where why Refi comes in. Why Refi works specifically with borrowers who can't get refinancing through traditional lenders. It's their whole thing. They refinance private student loans so you're only paying interest between 0.1% and 5.99%, and they legally cannot char more than that. They'll even customize your payments to get you out of debt at a pace that works for you. And if you need a co borrower release from your loan, they've got a program for that too. Plus their team is in Phoenix, Arizona. So when you call them, you talk to a real person. It only takes three minutes to check your rates and it doesn't impact your credit score. If you've been told no a million times, try Y Refi. Head to yrefi.com hammer that is yrefy.com hammer or call 888 Y Refi 78 that is 888-Y Refi 78. Break free from the high interest trap and get your finances under control once and for all. If you or your child spent years growing up on social media and experienced serious mental health struggles, you should hear this. Recently, a jury ordered Meta and YouTube to pay millions for their role in designing and promoting addictive platforms. They knew their apps could contribute to anxiety, depression and body image issues, but did not share those risks while prioritizing profits. The recent historic verdict underscores the consequences of those decisions. Now Morgan and Morgan is stepping up to hold these platforms accountable for the harm they caused. Click the link in my bio to take a short quiz. You may be entitled to a potential recovery of over $1,000. Listen, I mean, you haven't brought it up yet, Stacy, but I'm being told you have trust issues of Mr. Aaron from some previous experiences or things. I don't, I don't know. What, what, what's happening. If you're moving so quick with this guy and you're having these trust issues, like what, what are they? That's.

[Aaron]

How will you rebuttal, Stacy?

[Caleb Hammer]

It's not a rebuttal, but if you are having trust issues of which I'm being told you haven't brought up yet, I wanna hear them.

[Stacy]

I did almost leave that night, but basically during the super bowl, during the super bowl, he had his old roommate come over and, you know, we were sitting there watching it and the old roommate looks at. Looks at you and says, oh, so when are you gonna pay me rent? And I looked at him because he told me that he stopped paying rent two months ago. And then like two weeks before that when we went to Oregon for a he, you know, you were like, oh, I have all this money now. You know, I feel so free and happy. Which that was a lie too, obviously. And then, yeah, it finally came out that he was still paying him rent. How much was it? Like $900 wait, why? So, just to be nice. Which you are, way too nice sometimes. I just.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, man. What's the trust issue that he's, like, doing it by?

[Stacy]

Yeah, he.

[Caleb Hammer]

But no, you were, like, a month in. Like, why would he even have to tell you what he's doing with his money?

[Stacy]

I know, but he shouldn't be paying.

[Caleb Hammer]

Unless he specifically. I mean, I agree, he probably shouldn't,

[Stacy]

but when I have to pay for all, like, the groceries and the damage deposits and the pet deposits, and I'm struggling.

[Caleb Hammer]

He shouldn't be paying. That's the point. You shouldn't be taking care of everything a month into a relationship. It makes no sense and creates weird dependencies.

[Stacy]

But he has the money to pay other people.

[Caleb Hammer]

Exactly. And you shouldn't be taking care of someone a month into a relationship. This is like you guys are just figuring out, having fun.

[Aaron]

For the record, I don't want her to take care of me, but either

[Caleb Hammer]

way, you probably shouldn't have been given a money. Why were you?

[Aaron]

It was very short notice to give my old roommate the heads up. Like, hey, I need to move out now.

[Stacy]

You didn't have a lease agreement with him, though, so it's just not necessary.

[Aaron]

No, but it's the courtesy I've been

[Stacy]

friends with, and that place is not worth 900amonth. Like, I mean, that was not worth it.

[Aaron]

No, it's not.

[Stacy]

$400 at the most.

[Caleb Hammer]

Peace of mind.

[Aaron]

I didn't have to worry about the tweakers in Everett. I mean, Jesus Christ, Monroe is probably the one and only place I don't have to feel like I have to bring my gun around. Anyhow, I was being nice. I told him I'd pay him about three months of rent when rent due, which is insane.

[Stacy]

You don't have to do that, okay?

[Aaron]

To be fair. No one has to be fair with that organ. No, he didn't have to ask. He's my friend. I wanted to help him out. And to be fair, with that organ, by the way. No, no, no, no, no.

[Stacy]

Help me out further.

[Aaron]

Organ shit. For the organ shit. I wasn't even paying him around that time. So that was the truth when I told you I actually feel so.

[Stacy]

For, like, a month.

[Aaron]

And pay him for two months?

[Stacy]

No, that's bullshit. Bullshit.

[Aaron]

All right. For one of the months. I'll give you that one.

[Stacy]

See? Don't lie to me now.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why are you lying? Well, I told the point.

[Stacy]

Don't do that.

[Caleb Hammer]

What is the point? Why create trust issues this closely? Why lie? It was pointless. I don't get it.

[Stacy]

I just wish you could have been honest with me.

[Aaron]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Is this, like, a repeated pattern? Just these lies for no reason, to look better? Because what a stupid, pointless thing to lie about. And if I catch someone lying about that, it makes me question everything. Because when there's actually consequential things talking about. Well, I mean, earlier I felt like you were lying to me, and now you just got caught on a small lie. Like, I don't understand. I feel like I can't trust you. What?

[Aaron]

At the end of the day, I wanted to just help him. And I'm sorry that you really picked up a lot of the burden of paying a lot of the bills, the food.

[Stacy]

Does he even pay rent to his dad?

[Aaron]

Yeah, of course he does.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, okay. But that's not even. Again, what matters. I mean, you can do what you want with your money, but if you're lying about it, that's the weird thing, right? Cause we're not married. You're barely even in the relationship at that point. You were literally a month in, if we're talking super bowl night. So it just. It makes no sense. I don't know. You guys are moving way too quick. It's scary. And then this is gonna blow up and things are gonna be intertangled, and I've had to deal with this on the show. Who? People. Exes have had money that's been already intertangled and had to, like, try to rip it apart. And it's weird. It gets up and she says she's noticing sketchy behaviors on your transactions, too. What? What are they? Should you even be noticing transactions five months in on ship? Maybe. Maybe. That's okay.

[Stacy]

I just noticed a lot of Zelles. I've never seen so many Zelle transfers. Is it Zelle, or is it something like PayPal or whatever?

[Aaron]

Oh, well, with my.

[Stacy]

So many Zelle transfers. Yeah.

[Aaron]

With Navy Federal, it's Zell because it's baked into the app or the banking institution.

[Stacy]

So many Zelle transfers. Why do you need that much? Why can't you do, like, an automatic withdrawal or, like, have it, like, automatically put in your checking or something? There's so many Zells.

[Aaron]

It's so that I don't have a lot of money in my checking for all the bullshit that I pay for on my end, and then I won't have any money. I can at least control it to an extent.

[Stacy]

I mean, I'm exhausting. I mean, yeah, I feel like that's not normal.

[Aaron]

It's exhausting. But as you can fucking see we're on the show. My money management is shit. So, I mean, but I'm also selling you the most for all the wine you want me to get while I'm at work.

[Stacy]

And then I don't feel like that's true. I feel like you sell a lot of other people.

[Aaron]

I can pull up my Navy federal right now, show it to pop a hammer right here. And he's gonna probably take myself.

[Stacy]

I don't need a liquor.

[Aaron]

Okay, okay.

[Caleb Hammer]

You're buying her a lot of wine.

[Aaron]

When I'm at her.

[Stacy]

Don't buy me that much wine. It's only when you go to Costco.

[Caleb Hammer]

The Zelling thing is not the biggest issue. But is that not a little bit of a wake up call? That's quick into the relationship. She's seeing Zells and she's like, already red flags and alarms are going off in her head. She doesn't trust you already. And you guys are moving so quick that when the honeymoon excitement ends, the only thing that's going to be left is the lack of trust foundation here other than excitement because a load got dropped on a day of a funeral. So it's just gonna be lack of trust that's left. It's gonna be fights, it's gonna be battles. It's gonna be brutal.

[Aaron]

I just love Costco. I mean, Jesus Christ.

[Caleb Hammer]

What?

[Stacy]

I mean, yeah, that's bad. Okay.

[Aaron]

What?

[Stacy]

Nothing.

[Caleb Hammer]

We all do.

[Aaron]

But you know what? Yeah, just a little pathetic. A little bit.

[Caleb Hammer]

What's wrong with you? Why can't you just listen? It's scary that she can't trust you at this point when everything is so good. What's it gonna be when everything becomes normal? The excitement is done. It's this normal life. At that point, all that's gonna be left is the lack of trust.

[Aaron]

I mean, you can trust me. I've been pretty cards on the table about a lot of shit at this point.

[Stacy]

I know you've been good.

[Aaron]

We've gone through our road bumps.

[Stacy]

I'm pretty intense.

[Aaron]

Yeah, I will say they were very goddamn intense. But you know, I. I love you a lot. I love you very much. I want to have kids with you someday.

[Caleb Hammer]

God, please. No, no, no, no, guys, you're five more times. It's like I'm also some of the most gripper. Jeez.

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[Caleb Hammer]

man. Dude, not even five months in at this point, bro. And also, what road bumps at this point? A few months in, a lot of shit.

[Aaron]

I won't go into a lot of it.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, why don't you go into a lot of it? Because, you know, hey, remember when you're on a show to talk about things, maybe you should talk about things and give me a no no.

[Aaron]

There was.

[Caleb Hammer]

Where's the no no? I have the no no's. I'm avoiding the no no's. Tell me the things aren't that aren't the no nos.

[Aaron]

I'll just give you a brief summary, but I'm not going to be very specific on what happened that night. There was one night we went to a bar. I said something. I was very drunk, mind you, and I said something that was very. A lot to take in. I am not going to disclose what was said that night. Just understand. It was really big bomb. Just. You don't just set it out there. I wasn't. I wasn't. Yeah, just go with it. I wasn't thinking.

[Caleb Hammer]

I mean, I know what it is. And you didn't put it on the no no list for me. It said you have a criminal past.

[Aaron]

Criminal.

[Caleb Hammer]

Right.

[Aaron]

No, I'm not. I'm not gonna disclose what the thing was. I'm not disclosing whatever it was, however, I mean, I. It was.

[Caleb Hammer]

You didn't tell me not to talk about it.

[Aaron]

It was a lot for her to take in.

[Caleb Hammer]

It's the criminal record.

[Aaron]

Whatever. So we're about to go to bed.

[Caleb Hammer]

I would. I would have trust issues to someone with a criminal record. I'll be honest. I. I personally would.

[Stacy]

We went to bed, I got up and I left the house. I was gone. I went to some fancy bar in Seattle and I spent like, I don't know, like a hundred dollars on drinks and food and I didn't come back until like 4 in the morning, but. I can't believe he brought his dad home, though.

[Caleb Hammer]

It was a lot.

[Stacy]

I know, but like, I don't see why you need to.

[Caleb Hammer]

Like, shouldn't you tell the person you're with that shit?

[Aaron]

I didn't want to disclose it that fast and I wasn't.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, you guys are moving quick on everything else. I think if you guys are moving that quick, you got to bump everything else up with me. If someone's choosing who they're going.

[Aaron]

Getting that one on the chin. Fair enough.

[Stacy]

Bad setting on the one with a little TV prompt.

[Aaron]

And I was drunk. I wasn't thinking about it. And I.

[Caleb Hammer]

It must have been pretty egregious for her to walk out that night.

[Aaron]

Well, I was trying to just talk about it later, but she was like, no, what is it? What is it? What is it? What is it? You can tell me. It's fine. We're safe. I love you.

[Stacy]

He wanted to go to bed. I couldn't go to bed. I had to leave.

[Caleb Hammer]

What'd you do?

[Aaron]

I'm not deciding.

[Caleb Hammer]

Is it that bad?

[Aaron]

I'm not disclosing it on here.

[Caleb Hammer]

It must have been that bad for you to.

[Aaron]

I'm not disclosing it on here.

[Caleb Hammer]

I already heard that part. That's why I'm not gonna ask again. But oh my goodness, if you're not willing to talk about it and she left that night, that has to be pretty egregious. That's all I'm thinking. Which honestly, would make me nervous, too. That's probably also why you can't find a decent job.

[Aaron]

No, I'm not a felon. I have a pretty clean record. Yeah, you're not a felon.

[Caleb Hammer]

Then what I don't understand. Well, again, I'm not gonna ask again. I'm not gonna push your boundary, if that's a boundary, which I'm picking up. I don't know why you didn't tell me not to bring that up before,

[Aaron]

but I thought I did, so my bad.

[Caleb Hammer]

But okay, that's fine. Be more prepared next time. There won't be a next time, but be more prepared next time. Okay. Yeah. I mean, so I would have trust issues too. And now, I mean, I, I, I'll be completely honest. I have trust issues. I mean, I caught you in the little lies. Felt like you were big lying to me earlier. And now there's this thing that you're being hyper vague about, and I'm just going to let you know based on a few episodes in the past. I'm not going to pressure you to tell me. You do not have to tell me. I'm very okay with you not to tell me.

[Aaron]

Appreciate that. Of course.

[Caleb Hammer]

But I am going to let you know based on previous episodes. The vagueness makes it look worse than it likely is.

[Aaron]

I'd rather take that on the chin.

[Caleb Hammer]

Ok, I'll let you take it on the chin.

[Aaron]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

But I'm going To have a hard time trusting you. And I don't blame her for having that issue. And again, that is what scares me. Finances are one of the large leading causes for divorce in this country. And if right now there's this big boiling pot of lack of trust, but it doesn't matter as much because everything is so good, everything is so honeymoon, everything is so exciting, what happens when that just becomes normal and all that's left is a steaming pile of lack of trust? That's nervous for me personally, especially if we're brought to intertwine our finances so quick. I don't know. I don't know.

[Aaron]

Yeah, no, I just don't do. No, I'm just rolling with it.

[Caleb Hammer]

Don't do to me whatever you did to someone. I actually don't even know. So that was a joke. I don't know what you did, but listen. I don't know. I mean, Aaron specifically avoids that you've lied or you've admitted that you've lied during money conversations with Stacy because you want to avoid the conflict. That's what you told Colton. That's what you told Colton. You lie in conversations and you're admitting to that? How the. Is there a future here? I know he's worshiped you and that's some easy dick. Like, very, very good. And you were able to get free housing out of it. Very good. Out of a divorce. Like, come on. I'm starting to connect some dots in my head. Why the fuck are you dealing with this?

[Stacy]

He does everything my ex husband doesn't. He cleans the house.

[Caleb Hammer]

He's not overseas.

[Stacy]

He goes grocery shopping with me. Okay.

[Caleb Hammer]

I don't think they can do that when they're overse.

[Stacy]

He was only gone for three months at a time. But when he was home, I did everything. He actually is a contributing member to

[Caleb Hammer]

the household and it's really contributing lies and deception and.

[Stacy]

Well, at least it doesn't feel like I'm taking care of.

[Aaron]

It was like two times that I had a big. I had told two big lies within

[Caleb Hammer]

a few months is pretty brutal, actually. That's actually a pretty bad track record. That's pretty bad.

[Aaron]

That's not good.

[Caleb Hammer]

That's not good there, Mr. Aaron. What'd he lie about?

[Stacy]

What do I lie about?

[Caleb Hammer]

What did he lie about?

[Aaron]

Well, it was the old roommate thing.

[Stacy]

The old roommate thing.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, yeah, that one's. And then the fact that you lied about it is a bad thing. Not that you're doing it. I mean, I wouldn't advise you doing it, but the lying. I don't understand. It was a pointless lie, which is even worse than a lie that, like, you could have some reasoning for it makes it even worse. And what's the other lie?

[Aaron]

I don't actually. May have mistaken overlap. Was there.

[Stacy]

I don't think you've lied about any.

[Caleb Hammer]

I don't know. You were telling Colton that you've specifically lied to avoid confrontation in the financial conversations of the household.

[Aaron]

I think I was mostly just referencing the old roommate thing. Cause, I mean, it was a very broad.

[Stacy]

Is there anything else?

[Aaron]

Well, it was a broad question. No, there's nothing else. I mean.

[Stacy]

Okay, just checking.

[Aaron]

It was a very broad question to me in general. So I just. Yeah, I had replied with just the old roommate thing.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, so what are we doing, guys? So what the Is even going on today? Because let's just be honest. We can all. We can all see it from here. This is a mess. This is a mess. This early on in a relationship. I don't know what you guys are doing. I don't think you know what you guys are doing. You guys are having fun, which is fair. Which is fair. Have fun. But does everything else have to move as quick with it? I don't think so. This is a mess, guys. This relationship's a mess. What is going on?

[Aaron]

I've always wanted her. I'm not gonna.

[Caleb Hammer]

I know.

[Aaron]

You already know, but it's exciting to

[Caleb Hammer]

get with your high school crushes. Does that mean that that's who our spouse is for life? I don't know. And also, would you. Why even start the relationship out of lie with, like, the overlap and these other things? It's like. It doesn't make any sense.

[Aaron]

We had went to Christmas at her parents, you know, it was. What was it. Was it last year?

[Stacy]

Yeah.

[Aaron]

She basically expressed concern about the whole roommate money thing, and I told her my thing on it. Like, that was like.

[Caleb Hammer]

Like a couple weeks into the. Even after the diddling at the funeral. Okay. Interesting.

[Aaron]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why would you be so concerned about it at that point? Like, that's invasive and intrusive.

[Stacy]

Because I was paying for everything at that point, and it just doesn't seem fair. He didn't have the money to, like, pay for things, you know, and if someone else is getting it that you're not even, like, living with, then I just. It's not fair.

[Caleb Hammer]

So that confrontation does speak words. But for what it's worth, with how you started the relationship, with how you've done it, with your trust issues, you know, one of the easiest Ways to tell someone does something bad or thinks something bad is what they accuse the other person without any proof. And you accused her of cheating. You had to go through all her Instagram messages, all her text messages, all that shit. Why would you accuse her of that?

[Stacy]

That.

[Caleb Hammer]

Such as? Unless there's, like, actually something that was seen. Not a very normal thing to accuse.

[Aaron]

There is a specific. What was it? It was. She had went to a restaurant with her ex. To talk about stuff.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, she's getting a divorce.

[Aaron]

Let me. Let me just elaborate a little more. I'll make it a quicker summary.

[Caleb Hammer]

It's okay.

[Aaron]

You know, she was in a good mood before. I had to go walk the dog. I walk the dog, I come back, she's pissed. So I'm asking her what's going on. Ex husband's being a dick, this and that, blah, blah, blah. And at some point, you know, I'm just like, can I just see, like, the messages for more context? Like, I feel like you're really not giving me enough to go off of. So I start reading it. She kind of starts shying away her phone. Like, no, let me see the text. And there was essentially some, like, affection. Intimacy that was shared. It wasn't.

[Caleb Hammer]

It was not.

[Stacy]

Affection and intimacy. Intimacy, okay.

[Aaron]

But you kissed him after the dinner. Like, that's kind of weird to me.

[Stacy]

Like, there's no affection or intimacy.

[Aaron]

She scared you that much? Why are you gonna let him do that?

[Stacy]

What am I supposed.

[Caleb Hammer]

You say no.

[Aaron]

You're a woman in 2020.

[Stacy]

In 2026, there was no intimacy. Nothing happened. There was no flirting.

[Aaron]

So you're telling me if he was here right now and he tried to steal another kiss from you, you gotta let that happen?

[Stacy]

No, I'm not gonna let that happen. He's gross.

[Aaron]

So why did you. Wait, why did you kiss him the first place?

[Caleb Hammer]

Why did you kiss him? That's actually kind of crazy.

[Stacy]

He's just. He. He just leaned in to kiss me, and I just let it happen. I didn't know what to do.

[Caleb Hammer]

You have no agency. What the is this?

[Stacy]

He's like six foot five.

[Caleb Hammer]

Hello, darkness. My old friend. Oh, shut up. He's a little scared. What was he gonna do? Take out an axe and slice you in the middle of a restaurant?

[Aaron]

But you had told me a completely different story about what went down that night. You said you had dinner with him at Red Robin.

[Caleb Hammer]

You.

[Aaron]

After dinner, you went to Half Price Books to calm down, and you got your little sister son a book. That is not what the.

[Stacy]

I did get Him a book.

[Aaron]

Yeah, but then you also bought your ex husband a book.

[Stacy]

To be fair, I didn't buy him the book.

[Aaron]

You both went to half price books together by accident. You guys went to half price books together. You got him a book.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, that's. Why are you guys going to half price? That's like a date activity.

[Aaron]

Thank you.

[Stacy]

That was like right across the street.

[Aaron]

That's why I was so cool.

[Caleb Hammer]

That's like a date activity.

[Aaron]

If you were just straight up with me on that. And I am a hypocrite. I'm a hypocrite at this point because I lied to you about the rent. Shit. Hold the on.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay.

[Aaron]

The thing is, you could have told me. Very straightforward, like, hey, this is what happened. Something was a little exchanged, went to half price books, and then we left. I still would have been very upset. But then you decided as soon as I. I don't know how to navigate. As soon as I called you out on it. I don't know how to do anything.

[Caleb Hammer]

As soon as I called you out

[Aaron]

on it, you start freaking the out. Like I was gonna hit you.

[Caleb Hammer]

I had to give you space. I've been through a lot angrier. One thing you don't know is that, yeah, she has like fully just gone out and sent her ex flowers while you guys are together.

[Aaron]

You want to elaborate on that?

[Caleb Hammer]

I don't know why? I mean, don't hit her. I agree with that part. I'm not gonna hit her.

[Aaron]

I don't hit women. That's up.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, I don't know. That was her fear.

[Aaron]

Okay, fair enough.

[Stacy]

If I loved him, I would send him the boat title with my signature on it.

[Aaron]

Do you realize how that sounds?

[Caleb Hammer]

Why would he be texting you after you guys are going through divorce and you're with him? If you loved me, if you loved

[Stacy]

me, you'd send me the boat title.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why would he even have that language?

[Stacy]

I don't know why he would have that language. And so instead I sent him flowers and he was not pleased about it. I thought it was kind of funny. He didn't get. He didn't get the boat title.

[Aaron]

Okay, hold on. Let me. Let me try to. He was get in your mindset real quick. So cards on table. Was this like a dominance thing to with him or was there still a little bit of a.

[Stacy]

It's like a dominance thing. It's like when I bought him a Starbucks when we were exchanging.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, dominance. Like you kissing him.

[Stacy]

No, I didn't kiss him. I didn't kiss him. I didn't kiss him.

[Aaron]

That's not what that text said.

[Stacy]

I didn't kiss him.

[Caleb Hammer]

What the text say? Wait, what'd the text say?

[Aaron]

I can't.

[Stacy]

I have no idea even referring.

[Aaron]

I can't really remember at this point because it was long ago. That was a long night by the way. But it was something.

[Caleb Hammer]

We've been together five months. How long ago?

[Aaron]

It was something along the lines of like you're switching up how you feel now. We exchanged a kiss. Like why are you so backpedaling on

[Caleb Hammer]

what you said you exchanged a kiss. That's goal pushing because you were saying he kissed you on the nose. That's not exchanging kiss.

[Stacy]

He did not kiss this on the lip.

[Caleb Hammer]

That didn't happen.

[Stacy]

Show me the text. I don't have the texts.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why?

[Stacy]

I delete them or else I keep looking back at them. I get anxious.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why would you keep looking back at the text on your ex?

[Stacy]

I have no self control.

[Caleb Hammer]

What are you self controlling?

[Stacy]

It makes me anxious. That's why I haven't blocked on everything. I don't want to go back and

[Caleb Hammer]

look at what you have self control from. Yeah, looking back, what would you be having? Self control. Self control. Doing what?

[Stacy]

Hell no. Just. This is hard.

[Caleb Hammer]

What is you're saying? Nothing. I just launched the brand new Hammer Elite app. Available on every major platform. You'll get three exclusive dedicated shows every single day, Monday through Saturday. And to celebrate the app launch, I'm offering 30% off the annual plan in the month of June only. Plus I have an exclusive offer just for you. But it's limited to the first 1,000 people to purchase purchase. For a one time payment of 500, you'll get our entire Hammer Elite catalog for life. And a limited edition Hammer for Life box packed with limited edition merch you can't get anywhere else. Plus you'll get access to our exclusive 4 hour Hammer Elite Day live stream on June 27th. Download the Hammer Elite app by using the link in the description or pin comment below. This is the best membership you'll ever join.

[Aaron]

And that's a promise.

[Caleb Hammer]

You can get 200 in bonus cash right now. Listen up. If you want your savings to actually earn something, I got something for you. The average savings accounts right now are paying around 0.39% APY. So if you've got 5,000 hours saved, you're earning like 20 bucks a year. And it feels like an insult because that's about nine times lower than what you could be earning with chimes. High yield savings account. You can earn 3.75% APY. That same $5,000, that's about $188 a year. $168 more for letting it sit in a better spot. That is a new pair of headphones. That's a weekend getaway. That is real money, not a joke. I tell people all the time, your emergency fund should not just be sitting there doing nothing. Mine's in a high yield savings account because I want it growing but still accessible. No lockups, no hoops, no nonsense. It takes just a few minutes to sign up. There's no monthly fees and no minimum balance, which means you get to keep your money. Revolutionary concept, isn't it? And they make savings stupid easy. With their automation features, you can set goals like an emergency fund or a vacation. Round up purchases automatically or send part of your paycheck straight into savings. Go to that link or click the link in the description below or scan the QR code on screen to start earning 3.75% APY. Don't put this off. Sign up today and actually make your money work for you. Let's get back to the show.

[Aaron]

Looks like you're in the hot seat, Stacey.

[Caleb Hammer]

He tried to specifically turn off the vanish mode auto delete stuff on your phone and you wouldn't let him.

[Stacy]

Well, why are you turning on auto delete? You think you don't.

[Caleb Hammer]

Because he can't trust you. After you exchange a kiss with a guy and now saying it was on your nose.

[Stacy]

No, then it just gets deleted. What's the point of that if you can't go in and look at things later? Why are you turning auto delete on my phone?

[Caleb Hammer]

No, he tried to turn it off.

[Aaron]

Yeah, auto deletes off.

[Stacy]

It was already. It wasn't on. Wait, I saw you.

[Aaron]

How are you talking about the disappearing messages? That was literally on.

[Stacy]

It was not.

[Aaron]

It was on.

[Stacy]

I saw you grab my phone and turn it on and then be like, look, it's on.

[Aaron]

It was already on. I turned it off.

[Stacy]

I have no clue how to turn that on.

[Caleb Hammer]

Swipe up. I get it. I love a good disappearing goon message When I'm in the goon zone. You can look at the. Because people like to do crazy things with influencers. So I don't want to with that shit, you goon.

[Aaron]

That shit crazy.

[Caleb Hammer]

But you guys are together and let me be very clear. No open.

[Stacy]

No.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, then I would be very, very sketched out if I looked over and the girl I'm with is having vanish mode conversations with her ex husband.

[Stacy]

You turned it on.

[Aaron]

I will say, to be fair, the only thing. Because I know the guy. The only thing they actually talk about. They don't even talk. They just send memes.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why did they kiss?

[Aaron]

No, that's a different person. Different person.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, wait. What the f. Who was that?

[Aaron]

What were you referencing?

[Stacy]

Well, I'm talking about. You probably talk. No, I didn't kiss anybody. He's confused.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, you did. Who'd you exchange a kiss with?

[Stacy]

Nobody.

[Aaron]

The. The ex husband.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, but there's no vanish mode with the ex husband.

[Aaron]

I see the cross connection. Okay, so we were talking about the whole Red Robin situation, Right? And then she jumped. I'm gonna assume you jumped to where you were talking about the disappearing messages on Instagram, right?

[Stacy]

Yeah.

[Aaron]

Okay, so there was a jump in the conversation. Okay, so that's where we got mixed up.

[Caleb Hammer]

Is it not a red flag, though, Stacy, that Aaron's friends warned you to. Oh, wait, sorry. Sorry. Actually, reverse. Yeah, yeah. No, no. One of your friends told you. Warned you about her before you guys got together.

[Stacy]

She's a.

[Caleb Hammer]

But is that not a red flag? A little.

[Stacy]

And then that's not a red flag.

[Caleb Hammer]

And then you kissing your ex. Come on.

[Aaron]

There is a whole he hated me,

[Stacy]

or she's hated me since high school.

[Aaron]

There is a whole situation with them in high school. And at the end of the day, to an extent, I sided with that friend.

[Stacy]

However, she's nuts. She wanted my other friend to pay for prom. The whole thing, I don't know.

[Caleb Hammer]

Is Everett a small town?

[Aaron]

No. No. Well, at this time, we were going to.

[Caleb Hammer]

We were in small town. Why are you all so obsessed with prom in high school? Still. Still.

[Aaron]

Oh, I didn't go to prom. I thought that was dumb as. Anyhow.

[Caleb Hammer]

Great. Yeah, you're right. I heard her, dude. You were a loser. You didn't have prom.

[Aaron]

Yeah, no, I was also.

[Caleb Hammer]

That was it.

[Aaron]

She was able to tell me her side of the story, which lined up pretty well with what I was told on that friend's side. So I was like, okay, I can.

[Stacy]

She's hated me since the beginning. Yeah, my twin sister, too.

[Caleb Hammer]

You guys started with basically cheating from both sides. Like you kissing your ex. And you with the overlap, it's like,

[Aaron]

what the are we doing?

[Stacy]

She's jealous because she wants to him.

[Caleb Hammer]

This relationship that has no foundation.

[Stacy]

That's what it is. No.

[Caleb Hammer]

Is that what it is?

[Stacy]

I think she wants to you really bad.

[Aaron]

There is a point where I knew she was into me, but I. It wasn't. I was not reciprocated, of course.

[Stacy]

That's weird.

[Aaron]

Yeah, I was.

[Caleb Hammer]

Who would be the fourth?

[Aaron]

My girlfriend at the time. Not the 40 year old, but who

[Caleb Hammer]

would be the third then?

[Stacy]

Her and her husband.

[Aaron]

Yeah. Oh yeah. We all banged in the same room. I wasn't really into it afterwards. We. No swapping. There wasn't any swapping. It wasn't like that just kind of happened that night and yeah, no, I wasn't really into it afterwards. I felt very gross and then too probably. Yeah, no, it was bad.

[Stacy]

You wanted you so bad.

[Aaron]

But they see, here's the thing, they kept with me on the subject like, oh, we're gonna ban your girlfriend. Like it's gonna happen again or something.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, I don't care. I don't care.

[Aaron]

I don't care. Care.

[Caleb Hammer]

She warned you about her. Why would she do that?

[Aaron]

I assume she still has some resid. A lot of residual or because you

[Caleb Hammer]

guys both started this relationship on borderline cheating on both sides. Come on. Crazy.

[Stacy]

What she's defending to like, you know, save him.

[Caleb Hammer]

I don't care. There's no foundation of the relationship. I don't even understand the point, guys. Once you guys get slightly out of the excitement, this relationship's done. I mean, come on. It totally is. There's no longevity here. And if there is, it's going to be misery eventually.

[Aaron]

I like to think my passion will overpower all that bullshit.

[Caleb Hammer]

Past was five months ago. No, no, no.

[Aaron]

Passion, passion, passion. Jesus Christ, read a goddamn book.

[Caleb Hammer]

Read a book. What are you. How do you. You don't learn that passion will overpower

[Aaron]

all the short term bullshit.

[Stacy]

You were saying like passion?

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, that's the thing. That's what I'm specifically saying is that this passion, this fiery moment, the honeymoon phase, well, hey. And then nothing's left that started with cheating, trust issues along the way. Nothing's there. I want to make this free housing and free money. Oh, that's all there is.

[Aaron]

I don't want her money, though. No, If I really wanted her money, I would ask her all the time to pay off my car. I would always ask her to buy me booze. I don't. I'm not gonna do that.

[Caleb Hammer]

Wine and booze. How much do you guys drink? All right, count.

[Aaron]

A little above average, but you know, who's counting?

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, this relationship's going to go down in flames.

[Aaron]

Yeah. We're also blue collar, so I mean.

[Caleb Hammer]

What?

[Stacy]

That's a terrible excuse come from the

[Caleb Hammer]

very blue brown collar family.

[Aaron]

Oh my God.

[Caleb Hammer]

What?

[Aaron]

Everyone drinks every a lot of most

[Caleb Hammer]

blue color people ages you guys are drinking has fallen off the cliff dramatically.

[Aaron]

Wait, really?

[Caleb Hammer]

Yes. Really?

[Stacy]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

I think Gen Z adults. Yes.

[Aaron]

Really Smoke more.

[Caleb Hammer]

I'm sorry. Just because you're an alcoholic doesn't mean everyone else around you is. Just because you're a cheater doesn't mean everyone else around you is. Just because you're a liar doesn't mean everyone else around you is.

[Aaron]

I didn't cheat.

[Caleb Hammer]

That's not how this world works.

[Aaron]

Yeah.

[Stacy]

All right.

[Caleb Hammer]

Read a book. Read a book. A good one.

[Aaron]

Yeah. Okay.

[Caleb Hammer]

What do we think? Combined financial scores? I mean, I don't advise combining, but if that's your guys's entire goal, sure. I'll meet you there. But. But am I doing separate budget or a budget together? What are we trying to do, guys? Where. Where am I going from.

[Aaron]

From here actually asking. Are you willing to do both just to see where we're kind of at

[Caleb Hammer]

or would you Separately or together?

[Aaron]

I. I mean both separately. And then we do the together budget.

[Stacy]

I want it. I want us to eventually come together. I mean we don't split.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, maybe it should be together.

[Stacy]

That is okay.

[Caleb Hammer]

What do we think our household financial score is together then? 0 to 10.

[Aaron]

I actually meant to take that test

[Caleb Hammer]

before this, but what do you think it is?

[Aaron]

Yeah, that didn't happen. Two.

[Stacy]

I was gonna say two.

[Aaron]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Cast is at Caleb. Hammer.com get your Hammer financial score for free. See where you stand in the world of money. Where you're doing poorly, where you're doing great, what you have to do to get from that poorly to great. And if you don't want to be like a guest who ends up in the show. Make sure you download the dollar wise budgeting app. It is what they will use after this. What they get for free forever. And what you should get the free trial. See if you like it. And if you do, sign up for the annual version. It'll save a lot of money. And when you do, I will personally sign my detailed 30 day meal plan that goes into detail. Every meal, every drink, every snack you make for every day of the month for meal prepping. Sticking to a budget. This thing is incredible. It has saved people a lot of money. I'll sign it and mail it directly to you. Dollarwise.com link below or just download the app.

[Aaron]

You're very pretty. What are you doing after this? Dude. Yeah, you're rough.

[Caleb Hammer]

We could.

[Stacy]

Aaron.

[Aaron]

What? Trying to riz the guy.

[Caleb Hammer]

This freak was obsessed with you during high school. Why the did you go back yeah,

[Aaron]

I'm kind of surprised about that too.

[Stacy]

He's my best friend. He was my best friend in high school.

[Aaron]

Tell you what, I'm really lucky for this one. This is good shit. Sorry, you guys go do your thing,

[Caleb Hammer]

dude, I do not. What? What is this personality call? I've met a few people like this douchebag. It's like, the worst. No, it's not. Douchebag. You're not a douchebag. You're like, dude, you're. There's something wrong with.

[Aaron]

I appreciate it.

[Caleb Hammer]

And you're, like, putting on, like a. Your life is a performance. It's so weird. What is this?

[Aaron]

Yes.

[Caleb Hammer]

What is this? Brandon. Lindsay. Oh, shit. Hey, guys, we all know things like this. Obnoxious. Oh, a performative, like, cringelord. Redditor. Redditor. Oh, yes.

[Aaron]

Oh, shit.

[Caleb Hammer]

You a b tard.

[Aaron]

You a b tard, bro.

[Caleb Hammer]

You're doing it still.

[Aaron]

Yeah, he doesn't now. It's all right.

[Caleb Hammer]

No one knows.

[Aaron]

Did you make this yourself?

[Caleb Hammer]

I've never, like. I mean, I guess I can be kind of like a verbal bully. I've never wanted to be a physical bully, but I kind of. I don't want to kick your ass right now. Now, I don't think I'd necessarily be able to, but I really feel the. There's, I think, some natural evolutionary instinct to, like, do you like to, like, harm you?

[Aaron]

Do you, like Caleb Smash, feel like doing the whole.

[Caleb Hammer]

I am nowhere near a cool individual. But you are just what you are, man. It's just. You are Reddit born. Please tell us what a b tard is. Everyone is typing in the document, curious because no one knows what this is.

[Stacy]

I honestly, I don't know what that.

[Aaron]

I don't know.

[Stacy]

I'm just making shit up.

[Aaron]

No, that's an actual term on Reddit. I don't.

[Caleb Hammer]

You are a Redditor. Oh, what's happening?

[Aaron]

No, no, no.

[Caleb Hammer]

He put this gauges and everything. We knew it.

[Aaron]

Oh, I'm not an actual Redditor, if anything.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yes, you are. You're an elder millennial Redditor.

[Aaron]

No, no, no, no, no, no. I will look shit up hard.

[Stacy]

Lurker.

[Aaron]

So I'm playing Dark Souls. I'll look shit up on like, where's this boss? This and that. Reddit always has the answer. Answers. You have one problem currently that someone had 10 years ago. There is always an answer on that specific goddamn.

[Caleb Hammer]

What's a b tard?

[Aaron]

I don't know.

[Caleb Hammer]

I got it. Wouldn't they have the answer for that they could.

[Aaron]

Why don't you look it up real quick? You got the little fancy b tard

[Caleb Hammer]

frequenter of 4chan's notorious random image board.

[Stacy]

Isn't that true?

[Caleb Hammer]

Do you think that's what Brandon is?

[Aaron]

Is it 4chan?

[Caleb Hammer]

Yes, it is. Let's go into the first one. Should we look at your Reddit history?

[Stacy]

No,

[Aaron]

it's hot in here. Can I. Can I go make a call?

[Stacy]

Stop.

[Caleb Hammer]

It's very hot. Is that a joke?

[Aaron]

It's very.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, he's making a joke. He's doing like Elder Millennial performance. Cringe Lord.

[Aaron]

Sweating predator. Yeah, it's very hot right now.

[Caleb Hammer]

And you like this. And you get this gets you wet. Like, that's impressive. My day's not your biological. It's very. He is Elder millennial. Cringe Lord. Everyone look at the shirt.

[Aaron]

What? Oh, yeah, I just thought I'd, you know.

[Stacy]

Dude.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh.

[Aaron]

Oh, thank you so much.

[Stacy]

I appreciate it.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, there's a ponytail. I never even saw that there's a ponytail.

[Aaron]

Oh, no, it's braided.

[Stacy]

I braided his hair before we came on the bro.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, my good long hair.

[Aaron]

You know, sometimes if I want to

[Caleb Hammer]

make it easier for her when she

[Aaron]

pulls my hair, you know, listen, I'm

[Caleb Hammer]

okay saying that I won't get cancel saying this because you're a white man, but we need to put people like you in a camp. This shit is. Dude, we need.

[Aaron]

Wait, is it for concentration? Yeah, kill me now.

[Caleb Hammer]

Anyhow, that's what I was advocating for in Minecraft. So whose card is this? This venture one?

[Stacy]

Mine. He doesn't have any credits.

[Caleb Hammer]

The one that makes money. What the is wrong with you? It's red. Which means. What is it? What does he mean? There's fees being Tina. What the is wrong with you? Stacy. What the possible is wrong with you?

[Stacy]

I didn't have a debit card for a little bit when I left the house. I didn't have a debit card. Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why?

[Stacy]

I took. I just digital.

[Caleb Hammer]

What are you. Huh? I put it in Apple Pay. I didn't have.

[Stacy]

I don't have Apple Pay.

[Aaron]

Apple Pay's.

[Stacy]

I don't wanna use Apple Pay.

[Caleb Hammer]

What?

[Aaron]

I hate Apple.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay.

[Stacy]

Isn't that an iPhone?

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah. You're a Redditor. Android user. We know who you are. I use Reddit. I just use it for the answers. Jesus. Then look at your history.

[Aaron]

Oh, I can't log in.

[Caleb Hammer]

What?

[Aaron]

Damn. Yeah, Crazy shit. Actually, you know, you're so cooked right now. Crazy as shit. You know, they actually, like, just deleted the app. It's the whole thing.

[Stacy]

Anyways, what happened was I just quickly left the house. I took half the money out of the bank account, and then I didn't open a bank account.

[Caleb Hammer]

I hate him. He's the worst.

[Aaron]

I get that a lot.

[Caleb Hammer]

He's the worst human I've ever met. I've said that a few times. But you are still. No, you're the worst.

[Aaron]

Top five.

[Caleb Hammer]

Number one. When I say the worst, it means the worst.

[Aaron]

Yes.

[Caleb Hammer]

So, yeah. So what's happening with Stacy?

[Stacy]

I. I took all the money.

[Caleb Hammer]

Pause again. I'm sorry. I did ask you and then I interrupted you immediately. Okay, Stacy, as a girls girl, I must advocate for you.

[Brandon]

Girls.

[Caleb Hammer]

Girls.

[Aaron]

Savor girls.

[Caleb Hammer]

This is when you don't talk. Listen, it's fun right now. This cannot be the guy you're with. I don't. I don't. I don't ever say this in, like, actual reality, but I'm saying this in reality right now. This is not the guy to be with. It's fun. He was high school. You're a part of friend groups. You probably. You got some good things in common. Congratulations. You got one that cleans wonderful. You can get a lot of those. Sounds like you had a shitty accident. Just because the ex was shitty, don't settle with this blue sky redditor freak. Cringe Lord. Melina, please, please. You can do so much better. Stacey. You can do so much better. You can go get a solid 5 out of 10 that's gonna be so much better than this guy. You have no idea.

[Aaron]

Shit, Am I a 6?

[Stacy]

I feel like he's. No one's gonna be as funny as him.

[Caleb Hammer]

Or 7. I knew it was coming. I knew I was gonna say if you said it, you'd come. I knew you were gonna go there. You are the most predictable, pathetic mother.

[Aaron]

I didn't come here.

[Caleb Hammer]

Stacy, please, please, please leave this man. Stacy, there's a gorgeous man named Mark right behind you that is 10 times better. 10 times better than this pathetic individual's.

[Aaron]

He's very hot, by the way. I will say.

[Stacy]

Oh, my God. You have a crush on everybody in here.

[Aaron]

You gotta pop a blood vessel.

[Stacy]

You got Lindsey.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, no, no.

[Aaron]

I'm my biggest crush.

[Caleb Hammer]

I don't be near you. Is it that good? Is the dick that good? It has to be. There is nothing else that makes sense.

[Stacy]

I'm not angry about it.

[Caleb Hammer]

That has to be it.

[Stacy]

It. I'm not mad.

[Aaron]

I get that crazy style.

[Caleb Hammer]

Dude. Five months. You're going to be 15 months in dude, you might be the first guest on the show that kills herself. Oh, my God. I don't want you to. You need to leave this now.

[Aaron]

She'll kill me before she does herself. I mean, that's just mandatory.

[Caleb Hammer]

I don't want to look at him like I've never had the struggle. I can't. I'm sure he's cute.

[Stacy]

Cute. I think he's cute.

[Caleb Hammer]

It's. It's not. It's not a matter of looks, dude. It's just. It's personality. It's the worst personality. I think I've been around. Leave him. Okay, so what. What's happened with this? Listen, no matter how bad you are, I will actually just permanently feel bad for you because you're with him. So I won't even yell at you for this. What's going on?

[Stacy]

So just to kind of, like, re restart my story, I left the house before my husband got home.

[Caleb Hammer]

So please leave the house permanently very soon.

[Stacy]

I took half the money out of our bank account, and for a little bit, I didn't have a debit card because I was just kind of like, fight or flight? Like, get out of there.

[Caleb Hammer]

You need to fight or flight. Get the out of this relationship. Continue.

[Stacy]

Fighter flight from everything. But, yeah, for what's about a month, I'd say maybe, like, three weeks. I didn't have a debit card. So, like, I, you know, I put a. Paid a lot of stuff with cash. I put a lot of stuff on the credit card. I needed stuff for the apartment because we really didn't have much furniture. Oh, well, we got all of our old stuff, but, you know, we need, like, a couch and, like, kitchen stuff, so I just put everything on the credit card.

[Aaron]

You still want to do that boneless couch shit?

[Stacy]

I don't think now's the time to talk about a boneless couch.

[Aaron]

Yeah, fair enough. It's fair. It's fair.

[Stacy]

But, yeah. Or is. Or is that one the one I put my lawyer fees on? I think that's what Capital One.

[Caleb Hammer]

I don't know. I don't know. How would I know? I'm not the guy who spent shit on this. I don't see. I don't see your entire purchase history of your life. I see the last month.

[Stacy]

Month.

[Caleb Hammer]

And what does last month say? It says past due. Why are you past due?

[Stacy]

I don't think it was past due.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, you were past due. Stacy. Are you. You were past due. If it says past due, it means past due. Past two is past. It's right there. That it's late you not. Maybe not credit statement late, but it is past due.

[Stacy]

I didn't think about it at the time.

[Caleb Hammer]

I was going through a lot. What were you going through? Going through a lot. You're with him. You're going through a lot daily.

[Aaron]

I get it.

[Caleb Hammer]

I understand.

[Aaron]

Take that one.

[Stacy]

Well, in the very beginning, I was sleeping on the floor of the apartment. And you weren't moved in yet. That was pretty hard.

[Aaron]

Air mattress.

[Stacy]

Pretty sad.

[Aaron]

Air mattress not any better. Yeah, I'll take that one. On the train.

[Stacy]

And at that time, I didn't work for like a month. I took a break. I was going through a lot. I needed a break.

[Aaron]

Are you getting madder and madder?

[Caleb Hammer]

No, I'm not getting. I'm just. Honestly, I'm shutting down. I'm shutting down, man. You're just.

[Aaron]

You wanna.

[Caleb Hammer]

I just need you to stop talking. Okay. I would like to continue with her. It's just like. Oh, my goodness.

[Aaron]

You wanna kiss a little?

[Caleb Hammer]

You've been late two months this year.

[Stacy]

Yeah. Why?

[Caleb Hammer]

I still wants to see her as of a couple months ago. Meaning it's probably been worse at this point. Stacy, what the are you doing? Is this why you're actually with him? Because you wouldn't be able to survive on your own? Cause you're right. I don't think you'd be able to. Not if you're behind on credit cards. If that's actually the reason, tell me afterwards when he's not here and we can rescue you. Cause you need to get the away from this loser. Do not have kids with him. If this is the reason, I understand it. That is a valid reason to feel that way. Feel.

[Stacy]

I. I can't. I can't give you a good reason why I was past due.

[Caleb Hammer]

This is the reason you won't leave Stacy. Is it? Please. No. You can tell me afterwards. I get it. I get it. I wouldn't say it on camera either.

[Stacy]

There.

[Caleb Hammer]

Tell me afterwards. We'll get you a hotel for a month or something. Dude, we need to get you out of this.

[Aaron]

Five stars.

[Caleb Hammer]

Get you out of this. We got to get you out of this, man. Discover it. What's going on?

[Stacy]

My Discover card is the one I put all my.

[Caleb Hammer]

I'm sorry. No, I didn't even say the balance. And ship for the last one. So distracted by this creature. Okay. Okay. Venture one U O. $9,518.33. Yeah, you and you're behind a couple months. It's probably like a normally like 250 payment. I'm gonna say, of course you're behind. You're getting fees, added interest is accruing. It takes 26 years to pay off. If you're still with him at that point, you will have lived the worst life. I need. You can have a better life. It must be hard because you guys have a shared friend group, right?

[Stacy]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Shit. So you can't. You can't because if you leave them, then the finances are harder and that's.

[Stacy]

Oh.

[Caleb Hammer]

Then. Ah. And then the friend group.

[Stacy]

Oh.

[Caleb Hammer]

So what have you done to yourself? You didn't have to do this. You should not have mixed. You should not have mixed fun and friends. It's a mess. It all explodes in the end.

[Stacy]

Not to be fair. I don't talk to a lot of the people. Honestly.

[Caleb Hammer]

Good. So it doesn't matter. Please just go on.

[Stacy]

I kind of hate everybody. I'm fine.

[Aaron]

This is true. Surprised you don't hate me. I mean, Jesus Christ, let me come onto this show wearing a shirt that

[Caleb Hammer]

says, Pee Pee Poo Poo Poo Poo. Pee Pee.

[Aaron]

Pee Pee Poo Poo. I mean, me, man. Like, this is bad.

[Caleb Hammer]

I'm getting audible reactions from people behind you that are shaking their head no. You are.

[Aaron]

I'm. What?

[Caleb Hammer]

Nobody likes you. I'm so sorry to say this. This is so mean. But nobody likes you. That's too mean. No, no, no. That's like, too mean.

[Aaron]

Honestly, it's really fair.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, no, no, no. Pause. Like, I call people people and slots and all this stuff, but it's always cheeky. And it's always. It's with fun. When I say nobody likes you. Oh, I mean it. And that's like.

[Aaron]

That.

[Caleb Hammer]

That feels too mean. That feels to me like. I feel bad. No, no, no. I feel bad. Let me feel bad. Shut up. You can't tell me how I feel. I feel bad.

[Stacy]

Take it. Oh, okay. Never mind.

[Aaron]

What?

[Stacy]

No, nothing.

[Caleb Hammer]

What's up, Brandon? Can you join me for the second half of this? I just need. I need someone to balance it out. I need just a normal guy. Oh, you're like the embodiment of, like. Nah, nah, honey, I'm good.

[Aaron]

Yes.

[Stacy]

I go through life with a good attitude, or try to.

[Caleb Hammer]

I'm technically a millennial. But, like. And I'm okay with it. I have no problem with my generation or the generation below me. Your generation. But I have a problem with you. You.

[Aaron]

I love you, Papa Hammer.

[Caleb Hammer]

Dude. Brandon. I can't. I can't.

[Aaron]

Yes. Can't let it flow.

[Caleb Hammer]

What do you how do you actually feel about this? I have to know. You have to be just struggling right now.

[Stacy]

I do feel a little tense. This is a little hard.

[Aaron]

A little.

[Stacy]

A little.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, this guy's doing this. He's handling it well. He's handling it well. He's cracking this as well. Jokes.

[Stacy]

I don't know if I'm handling it well.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, I Starbucks is bull and a waste of money and you already know that by making your coffee at home and investing the rest. So now you need to do that with your energy drink as well. Make Gamer subs at home for just 40 cents a serving. And honestly, it literally tastes better. And we proved this accidentally via a blind taste test in our Hammer Elite show Fat and Fatter, the number one

[Aaron]

ranked energy drink gamer.

[Brandon]

Literally. The cherry flavor is insane.

[Caleb Hammer]

Listen, you can also get free samples to see if you like it or 10% off your order at GamersUps GG or click that link in the description below. Type in code Caleb Stop Bleeding out Money Making minimum payments across multiple high interest Accounts Most Americans are spending hundreds, sometimes thousands of dollars that could be going toward actually paying down debt instead of aligning some banks pockets. And look, if you're sitting on high interest credit card debt, a car loan 18% or oh my goodness, a payday loan charging you triple digit interest rates, you need to hear this. If you've already cut up the cards and built better financial habits, but you're still drowning in interest payments, barely making progress, this is for you. I have opened my very own marketplace, a personal loan marketplace that lets you get personalized offers from multiple lenders. In one place. You can see if you pre qualify in minutes and it won't impact your credit score.

[Aaron]

Score.

[Caleb Hammer]

But here's the deal. This isn't a magic bullet. If you refinance your debt but keep swiping, you're just making the problem worse. You still need to fix the behavior that screwed you in the first place. But if you're serious about getting out of debt faster, you could potentially lower your monthly payment by securing a single payment at a much better rate. Check out the link in the description below to see your personalized offers. Or go to calebhammer.com and remember, you still got to do the work. That's well, what is he like normally? Please just maybe you could. Sometimes we do guest translations. Translate for me. What the I'm trying to say. Cause I don't even know what I'm trying to say. I'm shutting down here out of just millennial cringe. Please Please.

[Aaron]

You have very pretty eyes.

[Caleb Hammer]

I'm gonna write down some numbers. Please do some things to translate for me.

[Brandon]

You, sir, are incredibly cringe.

[Aaron]

That's fair.

[Brandon]

You're coming across like a 4chan Redditor. Crossbreed.

[Aaron]

Yes.

[Brandon]

Not a compliment.

[Aaron]

Good.

[Caleb Hammer]

How should he behave? Like a normal adult, you say?

[Brandon]

Caleb, you have a really good point there.

[Aaron]

I will take that into heavy consideration.

[Stacy]

Okay.

[Aaron]

Are you tense enough?

[Caleb Hammer]

What advice would you give for him? Cuz, I mean, Braden's a cool dude. He, you know, he's also friends with his high school people, but, you know, they're cool people. They're probably everything you wish you were. I'll be honest. What advice would you give for this man so that he could act just like a normal person? Because he fucking needs it.

[Brandon]

What I recommend, all right, is you try to do something cool after high school so that you don't have to keep referencing high school. Elaborate, right, like, okay, like you commit crime and then.

[Aaron]

Right.

[Brandon]

Work for the maintenance. But if you didn't do that, you could do something really, really, really cool and level up and then you could impress her as opposed to embarrass her in front of the. The millions.

[Aaron]

You know what? Honest answer. You make a very good point.

[Caleb Hammer]

Then why do you keep behaving this way?

[Aaron]

I ain't gonna lie, man. I'm pretty goddamn nervous. I'm about piss my pants.

[Caleb Hammer]

It's okay to be nervous. Everyone's nervous. Who comes on the show. That happens three to four times a week. Every upload you see is nervous people. People don't act like you fair. And she says, this is you doing well. She said, he's doing well.

[Stacy]

Think I'm doing well.

[Aaron]

Okay. Really appreciate it.

[Caleb Hammer]

You're doing it again.

[Aaron]

You do make a good point.

[Caleb Hammer]

What would you call that? We keep calling it Reddit and maybe that's what it is. Like, what is it?

[Aaron]

Nobody Reddit at this point. It's Twitter. I mean. I mean, Jesus Christ.

[Stacy]

I don't have a Twitter. I'm good.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, that's fine. You're saying he's doing well? What is he like normally? This is a personality audit real quick for the last 10 minutes.

[Stacy]

I mean, he's usually like that. He's pretty. Yeah.

[Brandon]

This is a normal occurrence.

[Stacy]

I'd say it's pretty normal. It's pretty on brand for him.

[Aaron]

F.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay.

[Stacy]

He's never more. It's never boring.

[Brandon]

I think we would prefer boring.

[Caleb Hammer]

Boring.

[Brandon]

I think boring. If that. If the alternative is boring. That sounds kind of sick, you know,

[Aaron]

how about how about we do this? Can I throw a genuine suggestion out there? How about I do genuinely five minutes of boredom and then we can see the difference. Does that sound good?

[Caleb Hammer]

I don't know about boredom. I just want you to act normal.

[Aaron]

So, okay, so five minutes of normalcy. How about that?

[Caleb Hammer]

Normalcy would be great. Why don't you just act like a human? Yes. You don't have to be cringe lord Reddit 4chan freak.

[Aaron]

Got it.

[Caleb Hammer]

What? In life. It's a personality audit. I'm just telling you to do again. I am not a perfect embitterment of

[Brandon]

Just like I just saw a shirt.

[Aaron]

Oh, shit. Really?

[Caleb Hammer]

He was so proud of it. Did you see that? Oh my.

[Aaron]

I tie dyed it semi recently.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, he did his own tie dye.

[Aaron]

Oh, she helped me with it.

[Caleb Hammer]

That do not enable.

[Brandon]

I thought we had five minutes of normal.

[Aaron]

I. I'm being genuine.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, I know you're being genuine.

[Aaron]

All right, you know what? Five minutes of normalcy starts now.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay?

[Aaron]

Yeah, we'll start it now.

[Caleb Hammer]

Sure, why not? Okay, who's to discover it? Who is it?

[Stacy]

Me.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. What the is wrong with you? What is wrong with you? I get it. I'd be co spending like crazy.

[Stacy]

Amazon. Amazon. Yeah, that. That has all my Amazon purchases on it.

[Caleb Hammer]

He has a gun, right?

[Stacy]

He does, yeah. I have one too.

[Aaron]

It is locked. It is back at home, locked in a gun safe about, say, security pocket.

[Brandon]

Who has to the safe?

[Aaron]

Just me. And that's the problem.

[Stacy]

That's where I keep all my concern.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yours is in your safe? Yes. Do you have access to it?

[Stacy]

My own safe? Yes.

[Caleb Hammer]

Can we please make sure you have no access to any weapon that can be put in a mountain mouth?

[Stacy]

Okay.

[Caleb Hammer]

In the future, because I don't know how long you're gonna be on this earth.

[Aaron]

I like to think that's a reasonable request.

[Stacy]

Okay.

[Aaron]

Five minutes of normalcy.

[Caleb Hammer]

We.

[Brandon]

We made it.

[Caleb Hammer]

Starting now.

[Brandon]

We made it 90 seconds.

[Caleb Hammer]

Again.

[Brandon]

We made it 90 seconds.

[Aaron]

God damn it.

[Stacy]

We should start a timer.

[Aaron]

I can do that.

[Stacy]

Okay.

[Aaron]

Should I do that? All right.

[Caleb Hammer]

Amazon. Amazon, Amazon, Amazon. Google. Okay, let's just show me your Amazon. Dude, this. What the.

[Aaron]

Hers.

[Caleb Hammer]

Sh. Your dick. Are you the upgrade? Are you this guy? This is you. Is this you? This is you.

[Stacy]

No, I think that's your. I think that's my Clarna. Is that or.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, probably. Give me your Amazon.

[Stacy]

Okay. Okay. Amazon. You. You want me to take it to orders?

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah.

[Stacy]

Okay.

[Caleb Hammer]

Show me your Amazon. Amazon. Thank you. They are an Android household. I saw two things in the Car. Let's see. See, that means nothing to me.

[Stacy]

It's cool.

[Caleb Hammer]

Shut up. You have a girl. Okay. Maybe you guys are made for each other. My goodness. I just. I don't understand why you want. Let's go back to your. Just your absolute dream. Okay. High school. Why did you want her so bad? What was like. What are you going.

[Aaron]

So I'm going to give you a general or genuine answer. No, why would you me? Because I've been me the whole time.

[Caleb Hammer]

So he's been me the whole time. So be you.

[Aaron]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm being me. So I really was into her in high school because we shared a lot of general interests that I didn't really have in common with a lot of people. Her knowledge on like retro gaming stuff was. She was the one other person who could really go toe to toe with me on it. We agreed on a lot of philosophies and whatnot, and I'd like to think we still have the same outlook on life.

[Caleb Hammer]

What is that? I need to know. What are people like you even believing these days?

[Aaron]

Just. Is that a broad question or outlook on life? Okay, don't be a dick. I mean, that's pretty.

[Caleb Hammer]

I've been kind of a dick, but I have too. But that's my show.

[Aaron]

Kissing you.

[Caleb Hammer]

Also the cheating thing, not great. Lying, not good. Continue. You're breaking your policy. Continue. What's your outlook?

[Aaron]

It says pretty policy breaking. I mean, just in general. Like, live your life how you want. We're not all here for a long time, but a fun time.

[Caleb Hammer]

And you guys have a very good time.

[Stacy]

You're a very good time now.

[Caleb Hammer]

You're right. No one else believes those things. Don't be a dick and live life happily. Okay. Yeah.

[Brandon]

Inspiration.

[Caleb Hammer]

You would have never met anyone else who thought that. I don't know politics.

[Aaron]

I don't like doing politics. It just gets fucking muddy doing it. You don't have beliefs. Sorry, I don't like discussing politics in general. They get.

[Caleb Hammer]

We're not gonna discuss. To say what your belief.

[Aaron]

Perfect. Just what I believe.

[Caleb Hammer]

What are your beliefs?

[Stacy]

Core.

[Caleb Hammer]

Core.

[Stacy]

Core.

[Aaron]

Okay. Core beliefs. I think taxes are fair to a certain extent. As long as they're not ridiculous. I want to keep my gun. Don't take away my land. That's all shit.

[Caleb Hammer]

He's more libertarian, but he seems like Reddit, Leftist, Millennial. I'm so confused.

[Aaron]

Is that libertarian?

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah.

[Aaron]

Oh, okay. Is that anti government library?

[Caleb Hammer]

Like, wait, you don't even know what your political beliefs.

[Aaron]

I just consider myself independent. I don't like picking a side, to

[Stacy]

be honest, I don't think we're educated enough to have an opinion.

[Caleb Hammer]

No.

[Aaron]

You know what?

[Caleb Hammer]

Or maybe keep that and don't vote. Yeah, okay. Okay. Yeah. You're buying a lot of kids things. You have a kid?

[Stacy]

No, but it's for my nephew's birthday. He just turned two.

[Caleb Hammer]

I don't even care about this anymore.

[Stacy]

He just turned two.

[Caleb Hammer]

I'll be honest. That was cool. Quick.

[Stacy]

Yeah. Oh,

[Aaron]

Ticket Master.

[Stacy]

Ticket master.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. Ticket Master.

[Stacy]

We just.

[Caleb Hammer]

And Sons of Monsters and Mad Money.

[Stacy]

We had to see him. Oh, that was so good.

[Aaron]

That was a fun concert.

[Stacy]

It was so fun. Oh, my gosh, he killed it.

[Caleb Hammer]

Reddit.

[Stacy]

You should have seen his.

[Caleb Hammer]

I like him as a. I think I like him as a dude. I don't know. We texted a couple times. He almost came on the channel show. Like, I have nothing against them, but you guys are just. Why are you the most stereotypical people ever?

[Aaron]

Like the whitest kids?

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay.

[Stacy]

You didn't say.

[Aaron]

Oh, fair enough.

[Stacy]

Also, some of that is probably ever clear.

[Caleb Hammer]

And I direct. Oh, yeah, I buy direct glasses. That's fine. Listen, that's not the issue.

[Aaron]

The issue is that where you got these from. Oh, that.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, yeah, the glasses. That's what she got from the glasses place ways.

[Aaron]

Thank you.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. $93.89 is your minimum there. $250.73 is your payment.

[Aaron]

It's very durable. Calculator.

[Brandon]

Shut up.

[Aaron]

Fair enough.

[Caleb Hammer]

Thank you, Vernon. I appreciate you. And that's you. You are you. You. You are my translator here. Because that's exactly what I was thinking. That's. That's exactly what I was thinking. You can also translate my desire to kick his ass if you ever feel like it.

[Aaron]

I think that's pretty straightforward.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yes. I would just like to see it happen.

[Aaron]

Yes, sir.

[Caleb Hammer]

I did not say that. I did not think that.

[Aaron]

No, we thought it.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. A car, I think is what I'm seeing here.

[Stacy]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Of 20,000. It was a 20,000 hour car.

[Aaron]

Oh, okay. So it's my turn. Yes, it is a Toyota Camry. Search. So 20, 21.

[Caleb Hammer]

It's not been your turn this entire episode? No.

[Brandon]

You've been speaking the entire time?

[Aaron]

Yes.

[Brandon]

You're retarded.

[Caleb Hammer]

You're a Toyota Camry.

[Aaron]

Yes.

[Caleb Hammer]

How do you feel about the word.

[Aaron]

I don't give a shit. Words are words, man.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, he did. No. Okay, okay.

[Aaron]

You can call me the most up shit you really want. At the end of the day, I could really give a shit how you feel. About me? What I care about?

[Caleb Hammer]

Could give a shit.

[Aaron]

No, I don't give a shit. Oh, sorry. I could not give a shit about how you really feel. As long as you're just honest with it. You can call me the most up shit to my face and I'll shake your hand afterwards.

[Caleb Hammer]

I'm not touching you.

[Aaron]

Yeah, I don't blame you. I washed my hands though after I pissed, so don't worry.

[Caleb Hammer]

So you should blame me then about.

[Aaron]

Wait, what? Why are you talking about washing my hands after?

[Stacy]

You mean then you know why, like wouldn't he want to shake your hand?

[Aaron]

Yeah, he doesn't have to shake my hand at the end of the day, but I'll go out and offer you a handshake.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, no. Well, there you go.

[Aaron]

See, I love you. So yeah, about the car. Pretty much what happened with that is I got a.

[Brandon]

Why do you keep saying that you love me? Well, him,

[Aaron]

but him I desire. Touch?

[Stacy]

Dude,

[Caleb Hammer]

you don't have to be with him. You really don't. There are Everett. Apparently not a small town. Lots of other people you went to high school with? If that's the requirement.

[Aaron]

A lot of gross people there. Example A. I'm from Snohomish at that time. Yeah. Okay, I'll take that. So. Yeah, I got the.

[Caleb Hammer]

What the. Did you just say I got the car? No, what did you just say? That was. That wasn't English.

[Aaron]

Yeah, it wasn't gonna make sense.

[Stacy]

I'm from Snohomish. That's what she said. There's your train.

[Caleb Hammer]

A different town. Yeah, like we care.

[Stacy]

No.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh my dude.

[Aaron]

So should I go into the car or do you.

[Caleb Hammer]

Do you want. Please.

[Brandon]

Okay, cool.

[Aaron]

So I had a Hyundai elantra. It was 2016, couple years back that got totaled. Wasn't my fault. Car was parked, someone backed into it, knocked at 10ft. So the insurance policy I had because it was full coverage, Enterprise gave me a loaner. It was the same car I have now. I love that car. Great. Reliable. Went to Enterprise, then put a. Or I got it on a zero down loan because I didn't have the money at the time and still painted off.

[Caleb Hammer]

Off. Why'd you have to say all that to say you got a zero down loan car?

[Aaron]

I'm just Lord dumping man. I mean, what do you want me to.

[Caleb Hammer]

What? It had nothing to do with anything. I don't to tell you about my current car now do I have to tell you about my first car I got from my family?

[Aaron]

I would have asked how you got it to Be fair.

[Caleb Hammer]

It wouldn't have started back with my previous cars. I would have just said I went to the dealership and purchased.

[Aaron]

Is this the part where you translate for him or.

[Caleb Hammer]

Shut up.

[Aaron]

Thank you.

[Stacy]

I don't think that car is worth actually is.

[Caleb Hammer]

It's worth 19,000. You owe 19,800. So what I would actually do is sell it and borrow 11,000 hours, get a $10,000 car, use the one and pay it off.

[Aaron]

Do you want a truck?

[Caleb Hammer]

But honestly, I don't give a. Can I. I don't care. For what it's worth, this actually sucks. The feel. And I think I felt it counted on one hand in the. How many episodes have we uploaded? Over 500. And I can count on one hands people that like, hey, you can do that. But if you don't like. I don't give a. I just don't care if it doesn't work. It's just like I care about you because you're a person. Unfortunately, you're not.

[Aaron]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

So it's just like, okay, you got it. 88%. Sucks for you, man.

[Aaron]

Yes.

[Caleb Hammer]

Do something with it.

[Aaron]

I don't know. I think I got it at 6:30 credit.

[Caleb Hammer]

I don't care. Is that in another story? Don't, please don't tell me.

[Aaron]

No, just comment.

[Caleb Hammer]

When I ask your credit score, is it going to be what your first credit score ever was when you first saw it? Sorry, I'm being mean. Okay, okay, I got to stop. Colton. I'm being mean. I'm sorry.

[Aaron]

Please keep going.

[Caleb Hammer]

I'm being mean. Please. Lindsay M. Everyone, audience. I'm sorry, I'm not trying to. You don't know if. Go to. Go to like a. A, like I am a nerd. I'm a. I like going to like the. The board game places that you can like play things. I like that. That's fun. But just go to one, find the most millennial looking individual, sit across from him for an ex for an hour or 30 minutes, which is what I've done right now. And you will. You will understand the feeling that I'm

[Aaron]

having played you here.

[Caleb Hammer]

Go shot your face. Who has Wells Fargo?

[Stacy]

I have Wells Fargo.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. You have a lot of money in there. 5,000. That's good. Well, that. Nope, nope, nope. That's savings. Well, which is. That's good. Well, no, it's not, cuz it went down from 7,500. 2,000.

[Stacy]

Yeah. To fix my car.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. That is what savings is for. I can appreciate that. But checking went down from 2,400 to 546. And you're getting Mexican food. Steam purchase. You're going to gas station. Getting some. What? Are you going to the gas station getting some.

[Stacy]

Probably a Celsius.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, you are. Okay, Brandon was already looking. He knows what's coming. We know what's coming.

[Aaron]

Right on Q.

[Stacy]

They're good.

[Caleb Hammer]

You don't deserve it. No, you know what? No, no, no, no. No flavor for them. Get gamer subs. It's 40 cents a serving. After my discount code, you just ruined it. You were going to get a free tub, which would be 40 cents. Well, actually zero cents a serving because it'd be free. Get your free samples. Use my code.

[Aaron]

Caleb.

[Caleb Hammer]

Link in the description below. It's better than energy drinks. Cough. You get nothing.

[Aaron]

Fair enough.

[Caleb Hammer]

I might sneak one to you afterwards. Okay, you get nothing.

[Aaron]

I'll walk away.

[Stacy]

I appreciate. Okay.

[Caleb Hammer]

Blazing paddles.

[Stacy]

Blazing paddles.

[Caleb Hammer]

Blazing paddles. You can say it again too if you want.

[Aaron]

Oh, Blazing paddles.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, not you.

[Stacy]

I. I don't know what that is. Honestly.

[Caleb Hammer]

You spent $34 there.

[Stacy]

I couldn't tell you.

[Caleb Hammer]

Arcc. Quiet now.

[Stacy]

Shut up.

[Caleb Hammer]

Who's.

[Stacy]

He's just making a dumb joke.

[Aaron]

Inside joke.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, that's a great place to do it on a podcast with people you don't know in front of millions of people. You are a gem.

[Aaron]

I thought so too. Eh, depend on depending on your views.

[Brandon]

How did you.

[Aaron]

Oh, my mom was on meth when she had me. Oh, yeah, see, there you go.

[Caleb Hammer]

Collective.

[Aaron]

Yeah, see, now it makes sense. Yeah. Yeah. Ice was crazy in Hawaii.

[Caleb Hammer]

Let's move on to getting more bullshit and selling out money and getting more bullshit and half price books. Oh, that's where you're going and making out with your ex. That's great. And going and getting some bullshit. Get into bullshit. McDonald's. Get into bullshit. Pho. Getting some pho. Razzles. Good pho razzles. For $128 of razzles.

[Stacy]

Razzles. Did we go to Razzles?

[Caleb Hammer]

What's Razzles? I don't know what it is. What's Razzles?

[Aaron]

Bar and grill.

[Stacy]

It's like.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, well, you spent a lot of money there.

[Stacy]

That was the night we had our big fight.

[Caleb Hammer]

Parking.

[Stacy]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Cookies, I think. Oh, that's where you confess to being a criminal, which we'll never know more about. And it looks likely worse than it is.

[Aaron]

Hopefully.

[Caleb Hammer]

Except with you. Maybe not. Maybe it is worse than it looks. Spencer's gifts. Fantastic. Susie. Okay, listen, you're spending a lot of Money on. But I'm just. It's just so much funny. It's so stupid. I'm just. Honestly, I'm just kind of done. Like, I don't. I don't care. I don't like you guys. I mean, you're. Okay. I really don't like you.

[Aaron]

Fair statement.

[Caleb Hammer]

Am I. Can I. Okay, I need a vote because I'm going to be actually mean for a second. I need to vote whether or not I should actually be mean because I'm one of those people that doesn't have a filter. But I'm actually filtering myself right now. Now. Which is weird. And I don't like it. So I want permission. Raise your hand if I should be very mean. You have a vessel. Two. Two out of three. Okay. Fuck. Three out of three. Yeah, it was two out of five, then it became three out of five. Okay. So I got the majority support to be mean. I just want to know what it feels like on the side, because I just. I would like to just know. Listen again, I'm all ears. Aaron, if you could just confess. You are surrounded by. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. How does it feel to be surrounded by a room of people that legitimate look down on you and don't like you, which no other guest in this show has ever experienced? How does it feel to actually be hated by everyone in this room right now?

[Aaron]

I don't really give a shit.

[Caleb Hammer]

Really?

[Aaron]

Yeah. Everyone's got views, man.

[Caleb Hammer]

Like, this isn't views. This is just your personality that people have witnessed. And everyone's been sighing and moaning for an hour and 31 minutes and shaking their heads. And.

[Aaron]

I mean, no one in here, not even you, obviously, has to like me. I don't care.

[Caleb Hammer]

I'm just asking how it feels. Nothing knowing.

[Aaron]

Neutral.

[Caleb Hammer]

Are you sure you can't reflect on

[Aaron]

it and try to just, like, reflect on it later? For sure. But, like, right now, just in the moment, I don't really care. If anything, I feel like I have to take a piss, but, you know, I know.

[Caleb Hammer]

We'll get there. We'll get there.

[Brandon]

We'll let you drain it.

[Aaron]

Thank you. Drain the main vein.

[Caleb Hammer]

What are you gonna say now? It's a floater. Are you gonna say that next?

[Aaron]

No, but that's a good one.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, not really.

[Aaron]

You said it. Oh, okay.

[Caleb Hammer]

I was asking if you're going to do that next.

[Aaron]

Is this Navy locking in? Yes, that's mine.

[Caleb Hammer]

Wow, you're spending a lot of money on. And honestly, keep doing that. I don't care.

[Aaron]

Cool.

[Caleb Hammer]

Good luck. It's. It's. It's. He's up his entire life. Do any of us give a. I don't think so. It's. It's. It's. It's. Okay. Hammer financial score, go take a piss and go off, and I cannot wait for the posture to be done so I never have to see you again. Oh, like, that's your Hammer financial score. Go yourself.

[Aaron]

Please go pee.

[Caleb Hammer]

That's. That's actually a request. Please never be in front of me ever again. Oh, he's tripping. He can't even stand his ponytails out of the way.

[Brandon]

His ass cracking out.

[Caleb Hammer]

We're actually going for a second. I know it was. This is pathetic. Please, please, please. Lindsay, Lindsay, Lindsay, Lindsay. Can you please just come sit here for a second, if you may? Colton, can you just come here for a little bit?

[Stacy]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Can you just go share this mic with me?

[Stacy]

Fine. Thank you.

[Caleb Hammer]

Please just sit down for a second. Maybe this is being. Can you.

[Aaron]

It is.

[Caleb Hammer]

Can. Should she leave him?

[Stacy]

How are you feeling? Yes, you should. But how are you feeling?

[Caleb Hammer]

You know what's gonna happen during the post, right?

[Aaron]

Oh.

[Brandon]

Huh?

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah.

[Stacy]

Wait.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, what's happen. Yeah.

[Brandon]

Oh, what's happening in the post show?

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, I don't.

[Stacy]

I do.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, but before that. Before that, ladies and gentlemen, I just need to know, should she leave him?

[Brandon]

Listen, despite looking like I have too much information, despite looking like a bee finished on your chest, you have a lot of really redeeming qualities.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, guys, I'm talking about just for the sake of her.

[Stacy]

Yes.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, in the post show. Okay, well, he's not here. In the post show. She's gonna puff. What's happening? Happening.

[Stacy]

Should we say it?

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah.

[Stacy]

I was gonna propose. I was gonna give him a ring.

[Caleb Hammer]

So this is. This is the moment. This is the moment where we can. This is the moment where we can stop an actual mistake from happening. Please, Lindsay. Girl to girl.

[Stacy]

Okay, here's the thing. I. 5 months is too soon. And also, please don't do it.

[Brandon]

Please don't do it too soon with this man.

[Stacy]

I, I would give it some more time.

[Caleb Hammer]

Time with this man.

[Stacy]

I think you're caught up in the moment. Also. I understand that ending one relationship, getting into another relationship can feel healing. I, I. You need more time.

[Brandon]

You're married.

[Stacy]

Yeah. Still. Legally. Legally. Well, I was. I was planning on, like, a long engagement.

[Caleb Hammer]

I've met abusive partners that are better than this man.

[Stacy]

Here's the thing. Now I feel nervous.

[Caleb Hammer]

What?

[Stacy]

Wait, are you gonna do it?

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, I don't I am heavily advocating for not being with this guy. He is the most cringe individual I've ever met. And he's miserable to being around. Being around. I'm so happy. He is taking a piss right now.

[Stacy]

Now I feel like I need one. Oh, my goodness.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. Okay. Let's just say. Because I think people are trying to be a little nice right now, and that's okay. Just. Can we.

[Stacy]

I can read the room.

[Caleb Hammer]

Raise your hand and if you think she should not be with him. And I'm going to close.

[Stacy]

I. I'm not raising my hand. I think you should wait.

[Caleb Hammer]

Is it just. It's just me and Brandon. Okay. That's split down the middle.

[Stacy]

Well, I think M raised his hand, too. You're a part of this. You want to come over here? Okay. I think you should wait. I think you should wait to propose. I. I personally, he's not my flavor.

[Caleb Hammer]

I think he's so kind.

[Stacy]

I'm being very kind. I think he's obnoxious. Yes. But from a California casting standpoint, I

[Caleb Hammer]

100 producers love people that I hate, so that's why they raise their hand.

[Stacy]

Somebody that's gonna yap on camera, they

[Caleb Hammer]

have to be nice. They have to be nice.

[Stacy]

No, I just. I see things differently.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah.

[Stacy]

That's all. I just think it's too soon.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, ladies and gentlemen, will it happen? Will it not happen? You'll literally find out if you go and join Hammer Elite right now, because

[Stacy]

the ring is really tiny. You got him a ring?

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah. I'll see you then.

[Aaron]

There.

[Stacy]

I'm stressed out right now. I don't know. Why are you stressed?

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, this is your moment, Stacy.

[Stacy]

Is he like this in real life? Does he feel the need to fill every bit of silence? Is it all right if I take a second?

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah.

[Stacy]

Okay. Of course.

[Caleb Hammer]

W. What's up?

[Stacy]

Oh, no, I just need a moment.

[Brandon]

That's a really nice way of her saying yourself, dude.

[Caleb Hammer]

You hold on to her with your dear life.

[Aaron]

The Powerball every day when I keep her.

[Brandon]

Because she's the only one that's going to feel that way.

[Caleb Hammer]

I just launched the brand new Hammer Elite app, available on every major platform. To celebrate the app launch, I'm offering 30 off the annual plan in the month of June only. Plus, I have an exclusive offer just for you. But I'll only have a thousand available to purchase. You'll get lifetime access to the entire Hammer Elite catalog and my Hammer for Life box packed with limited edition merch. Download the Hammer Elite app by using the link in the description or pinned comment down below. This is the best membership you'll ever join, and that's a promise.