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Caleb Hammer
To watch episodes of Financial Audit a week earlier. Check us out on YouTube. You accused her of cheating. You had to go through all her Instagram messages, all her text messages, all that.
Stacy
He just leaned in to kiss me, and I just let it happen. I. I didn't know what to do.
Caleb Hammer
You have no agency. What the is this?
Stacy
He's like, six foot five.
Caleb Hammer
One thing you don't know is that, yeah, she has, like, fully just gone out and sent her ex while you guys are together. He tried to specifically turn off the vanish mode auto delete stuff on your phone, and you wouldn't let him.
Stacy
It wasn't on.
Aaron
That was literally on.
Stacy
It was not.
Aaron
It was on.
Stacy
I saw you grab my phone and turn it on and then be like, look, it's on.
Caleb Hammer
This is the moment where we can stop an actual mistake from happening. Once you guys get slightly out of the excitement, this relationship's done. I just launched the brand new Hammer Elite app, available on every major platform. To celebrate the app launch, I'm offering 30 off the annual plan in the month of June. June only. Plus, I have an exclusive offer just for you. But I'll only have a thousand available to purchase. You'll get lifetime access to the entire Hammer Elite catalog and my Hammer for Life box packed with limited edition merch. Download the Hammer Elite app by using the link in the description or pinned comment down below. This is the best membership you'll ever join. And that's a promise.
Stacy
Hi, my name is Stacy. I'm 25 years old.
Aaron
Hi, I'm Aaron, 26. We're from Everett, Washington, and this is Financial Audit.
Caleb Hammer
Hey, guys. Thanks for coming to Austin. Happy to have you. Stacey, what do you do for a living in Everett?
Stacy
I am a commercial wallpaper hanger and painter.
Caleb Hammer
Okay, interesting. I've never even heard of people doing that. The painting part, sure. But commercial wallpaper, why not? Okay, sure. What do you make doing that hanging wallpaper?
Stacy
4506 an hour.
Caleb Hammer
Really? $45 an hour. Okay. You're doing well. I'd say you're doing really well.
Aaron
Okay. Wow.
Caleb Hammer
I mean, that's as far as hourly income goes on this show. Pretty damn good. How many hours a week are you working?
Stacy
40. But lately I've been doing like, 60. It's been pretty brutal.
Caleb Hammer
That's incredible. Well, by choice or they're making you
Stacy
a little bit of both. I'm the only wallpaper hanger. They're hard to come by.
Caleb Hammer
Yeah, because who the is hanging wallpaper?
Stacy
But sure, Starbucks wants the wallpaper.
Aaron
You've been doing a lot of double nights.
Stacy
So many Starbucks nights.
Caleb Hammer
You work in nights?
Stacy
Yeah, sometimes.
Caleb Hammer
Okay, cool. So what does that translate to into money that hits your account per paycheck cycle?
Stacy
I think roughly 1400 a week. Lot of taxes.
Caleb Hammer
That's what hits. Yeah, well, not a lot of taxes. You're not in that lot of taxes range. No, you're not.
Stacy
Okay. The union, I don't. They take a lot for like a
Caleb Hammer
maybe union, but that's not taxes like in the state of Washington either. It's like you're not like. No.
Stacy
Okay.
Caleb Hammer
Yeah, no.
Aaron
Got to walk in a little bit here.
Stacy
It's like 9% over there.
Caleb Hammer
Huh?
Stacy
Their taxes.
Caleb Hammer
9% what?
Stacy
I don't know.
Aaron
I don't know anything about taxes, man. I just go on TurboTax. I file every year. I don't really give a sh. T. Just.
Caleb Hammer
Well, sure, but we're talking about her. Okay, so that is $6,066 a month. Okay. On average. I. You know, some weeks are going to be. Or some months are longer. Some weeks or some months or less, but that's what it averaged out to pretty good. Now, Aaron, we can talk about you since you wanted to talk about yourself. Very happy about that.
Aaron
Yeah, I like.
Caleb Hammer
How's your opportunity? What do you do for your job?
Aaron
I am a maintenance technician for an apartment complex company.
Caleb Hammer
Okay, so you don't make the money.
Aaron
No, but you know, I do try.
Caleb Hammer
Hey, shack up with the golden goose, the mother of money. I mean, sugar mama, we love it. What do you make?
Aaron
I make about 25 an hour. Okay.
Caleb Hammer
But you know, forever at Washington, obviously you do need more money. 25 would stretch further here than there, but. Okay, very good. What, 40 hours a week?
Aaron
Yeah, just about. You have to get OT approved by the bigger bosses and whatnot. But, you know, if you're encountering a leak or a fire situation, that kind of just.
Caleb Hammer
So what hits your account per paycheck? Cycle. What is that cycle?
Aaron
I would say average. It can be about 6,16,000 and some change every. Sorry. Every two weeks.
Caleb Hammer
Okay.
Aaron
600?
Caleb Hammer
Well, yeah, I mean, I got. Okay. No, I mean, I understood, but. Okay. 3200. Very good. Okay, wonderful. So like half of what she's making. You guys are doing well together. You guys are doing well together.
Aaron
Yeah, for the most part.
Caleb Hammer
How long have we been together?
Aaron
Five months.
Stacy
Five months.
Caleb Hammer
Okay, so this is not a marriage. I don't. At least I don't think it's. You guys are not married, right?
Stacy
15 years, though. So, I mean, it's been. We're not married.
Aaron
Well, that.
Stacy
We're not married.
Caleb Hammer
Nothing to do with anything. I just asked. But I appreciate the lore drop.
Stacy
Hey, it's good so far.
Caleb Hammer
What is?
Stacy
We've known each other for so long.
Caleb Hammer
Okay, very good. But you've been together for five months.
Stacy
Yeah.
Aaron
Okay.
Caleb Hammer
I don't really understand the. The point of that part, but I thank you. That was beneficial. So $9,266, but I can't really combine it because you guys have only been together for five months, so you even live together? I mean, probably not. That would be crazy.
Aaron
Yeah, we.
Caleb Hammer
Okay, that's crazy.
Aaron
Yeah, we live together currently.
Caleb Hammer
How long have you guys lived together? About.
Aaron
Yeah, five months.
Stacy
December. Yeah, December.
Caleb Hammer
You guys moved in on the first date? Yeah.
Aaron
I mean, if you really want to say it like that, then yeah, just now.
Caleb Hammer
The answer would be preferable.
Stacy
Yeah, we moved in basically right away. Yeah.
Caleb Hammer
How? How? Okay. I mean, you guys are honeymoon phasing it. That's fine. Listen, I mean, is marriage even in the picture here? I don't know. With how quick you guys are moving, I'm surprised you're not at this. Okay, well, we're not combining this. I mean, that is an interesting financial position, I guess, to be in on
Stacy
this side of the table to combine
Caleb Hammer
things five months in. What the is wrong with you? That's a mess. No, don't be a delusional.
Stacy
We need to get our together before we combine things. And then I want to for sure.
Caleb Hammer
Yes, but I wouldn't say that's when you combine when you get your together. I think you should get your together regardless. I don't think we're getting together where Combining all of our bank accounts five months after getting together and immediately moving in. That's a little too quick. I'm someone that has no problem with moving quick. But combining finances five months in honeymoon phase. What the is wrong with you? Not even close. That even something we'd consider, you know,
Aaron
just kind of happens and it sure does.
Caleb Hammer
And you have a choice whether or not it does for the most part, including combining finances. So what the you talk about happens? What?
Aaron
Well, I mean, I love her. I mean, what do you want me to say?
Caleb Hammer
No. Very good. But you're in the honeymoon phase. I mean, come on, before we combine all these accounts, before you have any legal protections that come with marriage, by the way. So, like.
Aaron
All right, to be fair, she's the one that mostly wants to combine shit at this point.
Stacy
I don't want to combine.
Aaron
Well, I'M not saying that. It's just like he just said, we're not even married yet, so I don't.
Stacy
I know, but I thought you wanted to, too.
Aaron
Look, you're the breadwinner in this relationship. Let's just make that very blatantly truth. I mean, as much as I have a fully comped unit, so technically, I'm making 37 an hour, if we're being realistic, because rent's like, what, 1750. But, I mean, you're already wanting to combine. I want you to have your own. I got my own stuff.
Caleb Hammer
You think it would be. He would. Who would want to combine? Because he's the one that doesn't make money for the area, and you make good money, but you want to combine. Why? Because you have, like, no pressures. You feel nothing.
Stacy
Well, I mean, obviously there's some pressure, else I wouldn't be here, but I feel like. I mean, where do I want to go with this?
Caleb Hammer
Why do you want to combine so quick?
Aaron
You'd think I'd be the gold digger.
Caleb Hammer
I'm so married. Okay, that's a bit weird. Can we not, like, not be married to another guy before you?
Aaron
To be fair, I told her I wanted to wait. I wanted to wait a year before we talked seriously about marriage. I mean, we talk about it. You know what I'm saying?
Caleb Hammer
Like when?
Aaron
Just from when we started dating, around December. So, I mean, it's not like I'm looking to marry her right now. Do I want to? I mean, yeah, but I feel like
Caleb Hammer
with the path she's going, she'd do it in this exact second. If I could marry you guys, I feel like she would. I mean, she's laughing like a witch about it.
Aaron
Yeah, I mean, she kind of. Yeah. Sometimes I don't want to go home to my wife anyhow, so. I mean.
Caleb Hammer
Your wife?
Stacy
See, he's not opposed.
Aaron
I mean, I call her my wife.
Caleb Hammer
Are you guys married?
Aaron
No, I call her my wife. It's more in the metaphorical sense. We're. We're boyfriend, girlfriend.
Caleb Hammer
But of five months. This is like a high school thing. What the are you guys doing? The reality is you guys remed at a funeral and you through that night. Yeah, there you go. Now, there is an actually interesting element into this. Why don't you say, I don't care about you?
Aaron
I just like to talk if I'm being pretty insane.
Caleb Hammer
Yeah. So you guys. We met at a funeral?
Aaron
Pretty much.
Caleb Hammer
Great. You married and you bent her over. Over the casket.
Stacy
Hey, I was going through the divorce Process.
Caleb Hammer
Okay, why the were you guys at this funeral that you guys up?
Aaron
Our buddy reached out to me. He wanted me there for moral support. I tried gathering friends.
Caleb Hammer
You should have been there for moral support instead of bending her over.
Aaron
All right, that was later that we were very drunk, but, you know, I kind of said that sounds charming. I mean, we love going berserk. I mean, I love it. It's great. It's great. I love it.
Stacy
I don't think you should say that after he just said. Oh.
Aaron
Oh, he did?
Stacy
Yes.
Aaron
Well, you guys, there was no rant.
Caleb Hammer
She said you were. She was like blacked out drunk.
Aaron
Oh, we were both drunk.
Caleb Hammer
Yeah, but you've seen the posters.
Aaron
Seen the posters.
Caleb Hammer
Have you seen the posters?
Aaron
That's a double standard.
Caleb Hammer
How long are you in the divorce process at this point, do you know?
Stacy
Oh, God, like two months. Not very long. Yeah, my husband was deployed and I was trying to figure.
Caleb Hammer
Oh, very good.
Stacy
Yeah, no, he was deployed and I was trying to figure out like I was trying to get all my ducks in a row before, you know, like
Caleb Hammer
leaving and you know, leaving a dude while he's overseas is pretty brutal.
Aaron
He was an asshole.
Stacy
He's an. I had to get out of there.
Caleb Hammer
Was he an asshole? He was overseas just texting mean things.
Stacy
Well, it was. Life is just easier when he wasn't home. When he was home, I did all the cooking, I did all the cleaning. I took care of everything. I felt like a mother when I don't have kids. Like, I. I don't know. It's just every time he left, it was easier when he was gone. And so, I mean, why put myself through all of that when I could just go somewhere else.
Caleb Hammer
Yeah. And immediately check up at a funeral with him. Okay. And you weren't married, right?
Aaron
No, I was just dating a 40 year old.
Caleb Hammer
Yeah.
Aaron
You heard that? I did not stutter.
Caleb Hammer
No, I'm just looking at your age. I mean, I don't care. I think you were a 26 year old.
Aaron
Always wanted a MILF in high school and you know, I'm 25.
Caleb Hammer
Wait till 26. Oh, 25.
Aaron
Yeah, well, you know, I was a pussy, basically.
Caleb Hammer
A kid.
Aaron
Yeah. I was groomed. I, uh.
Brandon
Huh.
Stacy
That's some strong language.
Caleb Hammer
Yeah.
Stacy
Okay, stop.
Caleb Hammer
So, okay, well, you were dating this woman how long?
Aaron
It was about two years. About to be three.
Caleb Hammer
What? You were three?
Aaron
Yeah, I was about. We were about to go on our third year of dating, but near the end.
Caleb Hammer
Did you break up with her?
Aaron
It was before her and I did anything to be fair. So.
Caleb Hammer
Okay.
Aaron
It was already going downhill.
Caleb Hammer
He's giving a face. What is that face
Aaron
you wanna do? You wanna put it out there? You wanna lay your nuts out on something?
Caleb Hammer
I'm fine.
Stacy
My nuts are tucked under the table.
Caleb Hammer
What do you wanna say? I feel like this is the time.
Aaron
Lay your nuts out.
Caleb Hammer
Okay.
Aaron
I love my strong.
Caleb Hammer
Okay. Dude. My goodness.
Stacy
They had a little crossover, but I'm not supposed to say that. I just gave a look, so.
Caleb Hammer
I mean, you're not supposed to say it.
Stacy
I don't think so, right?
Aaron
No.
Stacy
No.
Caleb Hammer
Well, you guys didn't tell me there was some crossover.
Stacy
Wasn't that on the list of, like, oh, you just don't want to call.
Caleb Hammer
Okay. Oh, cool. Beat that name. For what it's worth. Yes. We're not calling the X. That's on your list. Okay, that's fine. But. What? There was a crossover. Of what?
Aaron
It wasn't really a crossover. I. It was.
Caleb Hammer
I've seen that person and her at the funeral.
Aaron
No, wait, sorry.
Caleb Hammer
Crossover of what?
Stacy
Like, while you guys were dating, kind of. Even though it was, like, towards the end when things were rocky.
Aaron
No, I broke it off with her before anything really happened.
Caleb Hammer
I wasn't saying that.
Aaron
I don't know.
Stacy
I wasn't aware of that.
Caleb Hammer
Shouldn't you just say that for the camera? That there was no crossover? Cause it seems like there was a crossover.
Aaron
No, there was not. Cause then the relationship would just be based on cheating. I mean, at least. At least on my end. I mean, at least on my end.
Caleb Hammer
So it would be based on cheating. Why did she have the perception that it was based on cheating?
Aaron
I mean, like I said earlier, I'm just chalking it up as, like, miscommunication. I probably just didn't simply tell her that. That's what I'm assuming at this point. I mean.
Caleb Hammer
Okay, I feel like I'm being kind of jerked off right now.
Aaron
I could. I mean.
Caleb Hammer
Okay, that's not a joke. That's like. I feel like. Come on. I feel like, first of all, she was like. She was supposed to not say that. And then, like, no one told me anything. It's just like. And now you're saying it didn't happen. I'm reading this very weird.
Aaron
I do not know why she's.
Caleb Hammer
Why would she say, wait, didn't we want to not talk about that or something?
Aaron
We talked about a no, no list in there. I just didn't want to.
Caleb Hammer
The no, no list. Yeah, but you told me the no,
Aaron
no certain things that I Didn't really want to specify on a timeline because I didn't want to.
Caleb Hammer
Timeline.
Aaron
Timeline.
Caleb Hammer
Yeah, well, we're not giving dates.
Aaron
No, no.
Caleb Hammer
I'm just asking if you were seeing her while you guys know. She.
Stacy
Oh, there was that thing with her kid.
Aaron
What then? Do you want to elaborate on that
Stacy
or stop seeing her? So the kid, like, missed you and wanted to see you?
Aaron
Oh, yeah. She had called. You know, we're co. The. The ex and I were still co workers and whatnot. And I had gotten pretty close with the child. We would game together, blah, blah, blah. And he didn't really have the necessary closure to understand, like, oh, you know, Aaron is not gonna be here anymore.
Caleb Hammer
Okay. Okay, whatever. That's a mess. I. I don't know. I don't understand. I feel like I'm getting jerked around. I don't know what's real, what's not, but who knows what the relationship is based on? Oh, but I think we all get the vibe. Why'd we move in so quick? Was it because you had nowhere else to go after immediately leaving her? Being with her?
Aaron
No, I was already living in. Excuse me. I'm so sorry. I was already living in Monroe at the time with a old roommate I was. I've been friends with since high school. To make a long story short on that, my company offers free comp rent for their workers, so I wanted to very. I wanted to jump ship, have some free rent.
Caleb Hammer
Yeah, we were.
Stacy
We had a discussion. I mean, at the time, I was either going to move in with my parents or my grandpa, and I talked to him about it. He was like, oh, we could just get an apartment together.
Aaron
Yeah. Okay.
Caleb Hammer
Wait, so you guys at the funeral. Yes. Stuck in it raw.
Aaron
Yes.
Caleb Hammer
Oh, a hookup at the funeral. Not even wrapped.
Aaron
I finished inside.
Caleb Hammer
I painted her like a canvas.
Aaron
What do you want me to say?
Stacy
No one needs to know that.
Aaron
He's gonna get all descriptive.
Caleb Hammer
I mean, Jesus, I wasn't gonna get that descriptive. I didn't even know. Isn't that risky?
Stacy
I took a plan B the next day.
Caleb Hammer
Thank. Because I'm gonna say with how quick?
Stacy
No babies.
Caleb Hammer
Well, not. Not the way you guys are doing it. The reason I actually asked that. I don't ask that. Just because I'm a degenerate. And I am. But either even without that, it's because how quick you guys are moving. You know how many accidental pregnancies happen in these kind of situations? And if you're raw dogging on that first me.
Stacy
Babies are slimy and gross. Right now.
Caleb Hammer
Right. And you're not on birth control. And he's blasting raw loads. So I'm on birth control now.
Stacy
I'm good.
Aaron
She's always been on birth.
Stacy
Mini pill.
Caleb Hammer
Great. So like. Yep. Okay. Good luck.
Aaron
What's so bad about that?
Stacy
The implant. The implant sucks. I was on my period for like three months at a time.
Caleb Hammer
Every day, exact same time, no flaws. And that's even still the lowest effective. But even still. Okay, so blew that load. And then how many days after. Well, and then how quick did we move in?
Stacy
Okay, so after that, right?
Aaron
Just about a little under a month.
Stacy
Yeah.
Caleb Hammer
And we got on a lease together. Shared lease. Because that's risky. A month in we are even. Just.
Stacy
See, I paid for all the deposits.
Caleb Hammer
We are sure you did. He has no money.
Aaron
Yeah, I didn't have the money at the time. I was gonna have my grandma help me with a little bit of it.
Caleb Hammer
We're confident he's not with you just for the money and housing.
Aaron
And I'm not no gold digger. I think that's some pussy, bro.
Stacy
Housing's free from him. So I mean, I don't know. I just had to pay the damage. Deposit.
Caleb Hammer
Yeah, just with how quick he's moving though. But no, you're all for it though.
Aaron
I mean we're about to get the two bedroom and I want to pay for all that stuff.
Caleb Hammer
Oh, you're upgrading. Yeah, so it's going to be upgrading while on financial audit.
Aaron
So I was. What I had wanted when I first was looking for the comp department was a two by one. I wanted the space. She came into the picture now that became very much more required. But one wasn't ready at the time. So we've been making the one by one work and then we got approved for it. So all we have to pay for is just.
Caleb Hammer
Okay, okay, maybe you're not gold digging. That's fine.
Stacy
A new pet.
Caleb Hammer
Yeah.
Aaron
Cause I wanna.
Caleb Hammer
Yeah, I wanna. Unfortunately, I don't give a shit. Okay.
Aaron
I wanna pay for all of that.
Caleb Hammer
I do care about this pet. So maybe you were trying to quickly get out of this husband situation though.
Stacy
Hey, I would have moved in with my grandma or my.
Caleb Hammer
Well, exactly. I'm just still sussed at how quick you guys moved in together. I'm trying to figure that out. I. Who's running from something. But you get free housing. But you're with. You're going through the divorce. It's just you don't move in that quick. You don't get on a lease together. That Quick, I know you put the money down. But even still, it's so risky.
Aaron
I will admit I usually like to move slower in a relationship.
Caleb Hammer
Well, this is the literal, but even still lack of that.
Stacy
It's like I'm the love of your life. Okay? There is no risk.
Aaron
Oh, there's that. You're not wrong about that. I've wanted you since high school. And then I finally wasn't chicken shit to admit that final. Everyone knew I was. I was so into you, but obsessed with high school.
Caleb Hammer
This guy. I don't understand. People's who. People whose lives, even starting mid-20s, who are still obsessed with high schools live the most pathetic life. It's the highlight of their lives. Like, what the. Okay, great. You worshiped her in high school. Yippee. We all had high school crushes and you finally got yours. Yeah, just using your high school crush to get out of that marriage. Move in real quick. Have some fun.
Aaron
You taking advantage of me?
Stacy
No, I wouldn't do that. Sometimes I feel like you don't believe me though.
Caleb Hammer
Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why do you even feel that?
Aaron
There's been a couple instances where I
Caleb Hammer
ask her why she even feels that.
Stacy
I don't know. I feel like he doubts me a lot or like he questions my like, actions or I can't even think of anything specific, but I just feel like he questions my motives a lot. You want to be my sugar daddy? Is that what you want?
Aaron
I mean, traditionally, I'd like to like to.
Caleb Hammer
I mean, why don't you get.
Aaron
Because we have the free housing. We want to save up enough money to get a house after being married, obviously.
Caleb Hammer
This could be like in five seconds with your guys rate Well, I mean, if you have like 30 kids. Like, you guys are going crazy.
Aaron
Shit. 60k to buy a house right now in five seconds. Yeah, I'd get married to her, but that's just not a reality.
Caleb Hammer
Okay?
Aaron
Can you shit 60k in five seconds?
Caleb Hammer
Dude, you are just. Who is around you ever in an enjoyable way? I don't understand.
Aaron
Very fair statement to me.
Caleb Hammer
That's not a good thing, buddy.
Stacy
I'm so used to it. I've heard it for so long.
Caleb Hammer
And you like this.
Stacy
You know the days.
Caleb Hammer
I like his personality.
Stacy
It's never boring.
Caleb Hammer
I'm bored listening to him. It's. It's. What the. He's just saying things for, I don't know, reaction or like, I. I don't. I don't understand now.
Aaron
This is all me.
Stacy
You can't tell me you don't want a reaction from people when you say certain things.
Aaron
If I'm really trying to piss them off.
Stacy
Laying your dick on.
Caleb Hammer
That's not everyone off. You're just saying things for. Were you a f ing loser in high school?
Aaron
A little bit, yeah.
Caleb Hammer
You're obsessed with high school. No reason. He's trying to make up for it. This is. This is how people talk? That we're like losers?
Aaron
Yes.
Caleb Hammer
Okay. He's making up for it. Hey, you got the girl. Move the on, dude.
Aaron
Noted.
Caleb Hammer
Move the on. Get over it.
Aaron
There were good times in high school,
Caleb Hammer
but stop at this high school. I don't care.
Aaron
I digress.
Caleb Hammer
No one cares. You shouldn't care. Dude, I had a great high school experience. I love my high school. Okay?
Stacy
I hated high school.
Caleb Hammer
It was fantastic. And that's great too. That doesn't matter. But I don't, like, jerk off to it. It isn't the height of my life because my life isn't pathetic. If high school or college is the height of your life, you're not living life. You just moved on and just didn't do anything.
Aaron
It's not like I'm jerking my to the high school memories. I just. I reminisce about the good times I had in high school. My home life was then, and high school was my escape at the time. So, I mean, I just kind of reminisce from time to time.
Caleb Hammer
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Aaron
How will you rebuttal, Stacy?
Caleb Hammer
It's not a rebuttal, but if you are having trust issues of which I'm being told you haven't brought up yet, I wanna hear them.
Stacy
I did almost leave that night, but basically during the super bowl, during the super bowl, he had his old roommate come over and, you know, we were sitting there watching it and the old roommate looks at. Looks at you and says, oh, so when are you gonna pay me rent? And I looked at him because he told me that he stopped paying rent two months ago. And then like two weeks before that when we went to Oregon for a he, you know, you were like, oh, I have all this money now. You know, I feel so free and happy. Which that was a lie too, obviously. And then, yeah, it finally came out that he was still paying him rent. How much was it? Like $900 wait, why? So, just to be nice. Which you are, way too nice sometimes. I just.
Caleb Hammer
Yeah, man. What's the trust issue that he's, like, doing it by?
Stacy
Yeah, he.
Caleb Hammer
But no, you were, like, a month in. Like, why would he even have to tell you what he's doing with his money?
Stacy
I know, but he shouldn't be paying.
Caleb Hammer
Unless he specifically. I mean, I agree, he probably shouldn't,
Stacy
but when I have to pay for all, like, the groceries and the damage deposits and the pet deposits, and I'm struggling.
Caleb Hammer
He shouldn't be paying. That's the point. You shouldn't be taking care of everything a month into a relationship. It makes no sense and creates weird dependencies.
Stacy
But he has the money to pay other people.
Caleb Hammer
Exactly. And you shouldn't be taking care of someone a month into a relationship. This is like you guys are just figuring out, having fun.
Aaron
For the record, I don't want her to take care of me, but either
Caleb Hammer
way, you probably shouldn't have been given a money. Why were you?
Aaron
It was very short notice to give my old roommate the heads up. Like, hey, I need to move out now.
Stacy
You didn't have a lease agreement with him, though, so it's just not necessary.
Aaron
No, but it's the courtesy I've been
Stacy
friends with, and that place is not worth 900amonth. Like, I mean, that was not worth it.
Aaron
No, it's not.
Stacy
$400 at the most.
Caleb Hammer
Peace of mind.
Aaron
I didn't have to worry about the tweakers in Everett. I mean, Jesus Christ, Monroe is probably the one and only place I don't have to feel like I have to bring my gun around. Anyhow, I was being nice. I told him I'd pay him about three months of rent when rent due, which is insane.
Stacy
You don't have to do that, okay?
Aaron
To be fair. No one has to be fair with that organ. No, he didn't have to ask. He's my friend. I wanted to help him out. And to be fair, with that organ, by the way. No, no, no, no, no.
Stacy
Help me out further.
Aaron
Organ shit. For the organ shit. I wasn't even paying him around that time. So that was the truth when I told you I actually feel so.
Stacy
For, like, a month.
Aaron
And pay him for two months?
Stacy
No, that's bullshit. Bullshit.
Aaron
All right. For one of the months. I'll give you that one.
Stacy
See? Don't lie to me now.
Caleb Hammer
Why are you lying? Well, I told the point.
Stacy
Don't do that.
Caleb Hammer
What is the point? Why create trust issues this closely? Why lie? It was pointless. I don't get it.
Stacy
I just wish you could have been honest with me.
Aaron
Yeah.
Caleb Hammer
Is this, like, a repeated pattern? Just these lies for no reason, to look better? Because what a stupid, pointless thing to lie about. And if I catch someone lying about that, it makes me question everything. Because when there's actually consequential things talking about. Well, I mean, earlier I felt like you were lying to me, and now you just got caught on a small lie. Like, I don't understand. I feel like I can't trust you. What?
Aaron
At the end of the day, I wanted to just help him. And I'm sorry that you really picked up a lot of the burden of paying a lot of the bills, the food.
Stacy
Does he even pay rent to his dad?
Aaron
Yeah, of course he does.
Caleb Hammer
Oh, okay. But that's not even. Again, what matters. I mean, you can do what you want with your money, but if you're lying about it, that's the weird thing, right? Cause we're not married. You're barely even in the relationship at that point. You were literally a month in, if we're talking super bowl night. So it just. It makes no sense. I don't know. You guys are moving way too quick. It's scary. And then this is gonna blow up and things are gonna be intertangled, and I've had to deal with this on the show. Who? People. Exes have had money that's been already intertangled and had to, like, try to rip it apart. And it's weird. It gets up and she says she's noticing sketchy behaviors on your transactions, too. What? What are they? Should you even be noticing transactions five months in on ship? Maybe. Maybe. That's okay.
Stacy
I just noticed a lot of Zelles. I've never seen so many Zelle transfers. Is it Zelle, or is it something like PayPal or whatever?
Aaron
Oh, well, with my.
Stacy
So many Zelle transfers. Yeah.
Aaron
With Navy Federal, it's Zell because it's baked into the app or the banking institution.
Stacy
So many Zelle transfers. Why do you need that much? Why can't you do, like, an automatic withdrawal or, like, have it, like, automatically put in your checking or something? There's so many Zells.
Aaron
It's so that I don't have a lot of money in my checking for all the bullshit that I pay for on my end, and then I won't have any money. I can at least control it to an extent.
Stacy
I mean, I'm exhausting. I mean, yeah, I feel like that's not normal.
Aaron
It's exhausting. But as you can fucking see we're on the show. My money management is shit. So, I mean, but I'm also selling you the most for all the wine you want me to get while I'm at work.
Stacy
And then I don't feel like that's true. I feel like you sell a lot of other people.
Aaron
I can pull up my Navy federal right now, show it to pop a hammer right here. And he's gonna probably take myself.
Stacy
I don't need a liquor.
Aaron
Okay, okay.
Caleb Hammer
You're buying her a lot of wine.
Aaron
When I'm at her.
Stacy
Don't buy me that much wine. It's only when you go to Costco.
Caleb Hammer
The Zelling thing is not the biggest issue. But is that not a little bit of a wake up call? That's quick into the relationship. She's seeing Zells and she's like, already red flags and alarms are going off in her head. She doesn't trust you already. And you guys are moving so quick that when the honeymoon excitement ends, the only thing that's going to be left is the lack of trust foundation here other than excitement because a load got dropped on a day of a funeral. So it's just gonna be lack of trust that's left. It's gonna be fights, it's gonna be battles. It's gonna be brutal.
Aaron
I just love Costco. I mean, Jesus Christ.
Caleb Hammer
What?
Stacy
I mean, yeah, that's bad. Okay.
Aaron
What?
Stacy
Nothing.
Caleb Hammer
We all do.
Aaron
But you know what? Yeah, just a little pathetic. A little bit.
Caleb Hammer
What's wrong with you? Why can't you just listen? It's scary that she can't trust you at this point when everything is so good. What's it gonna be when everything becomes normal? The excitement is done. It's this normal life. At that point, all that's gonna be left is the lack of trust.
Aaron
I mean, you can trust me. I've been pretty cards on the table about a lot of shit at this point.
Stacy
I know you've been good.
Aaron
We've gone through our road bumps.
Stacy
I'm pretty intense.
Aaron
Yeah, I will say they were very goddamn intense. But you know, I. I love you a lot. I love you very much. I want to have kids with you someday.
Caleb Hammer
God, please. No, no, no, no, guys, you're five more times. It's like I'm also some of the most gripper. Jeez.
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Caleb Hammer
man. Dude, not even five months in at this point, bro. And also, what road bumps at this point? A few months in, a lot of shit.
Aaron
I won't go into a lot of it.
Caleb Hammer
No, why don't you go into a lot of it? Because, you know, hey, remember when you're on a show to talk about things, maybe you should talk about things and give me a no no.
Aaron
There was.
Caleb Hammer
Where's the no no? I have the no no's. I'm avoiding the no no's. Tell me the things aren't that aren't the no nos.
Aaron
I'll just give you a brief summary, but I'm not going to be very specific on what happened that night. There was one night we went to a bar. I said something. I was very drunk, mind you, and I said something that was very. A lot to take in. I am not going to disclose what was said that night. Just understand. It was really big bomb. Just. You don't just set it out there. I wasn't. I wasn't. Yeah, just go with it. I wasn't thinking.
Caleb Hammer
I mean, I know what it is. And you didn't put it on the no no list for me. It said you have a criminal past.
Aaron
Criminal.
Caleb Hammer
Right.
Aaron
No, I'm not. I'm not gonna disclose what the thing was. I'm not disclosing whatever it was, however, I mean, I. It was.
Caleb Hammer
You didn't tell me not to talk about it.
Aaron
It was a lot for her to take in.
Caleb Hammer
It's the criminal record.
Aaron
Whatever. So we're about to go to bed.
Caleb Hammer
I would. I would have trust issues to someone with a criminal record. I'll be honest. I. I personally would.
Stacy
We went to bed, I got up and I left the house. I was gone. I went to some fancy bar in Seattle and I spent like, I don't know, like a hundred dollars on drinks and food and I didn't come back until like 4 in the morning, but. I can't believe he brought his dad home, though.
Caleb Hammer
It was a lot.
Stacy
I know, but like, I don't see why you need to.
Caleb Hammer
Like, shouldn't you tell the person you're with that shit?
Aaron
I didn't want to disclose it that fast and I wasn't.
Caleb Hammer
Oh, you guys are moving quick on everything else. I think if you guys are moving that quick, you got to bump everything else up with me. If someone's choosing who they're going.
Aaron
Getting that one on the chin. Fair enough.
Stacy
Bad setting on the one with a little TV prompt.
Aaron
And I was drunk. I wasn't thinking about it. And I.
Caleb Hammer
It must have been pretty egregious for her to walk out that night.
Aaron
Well, I was trying to just talk about it later, but she was like, no, what is it? What is it? What is it? What is it? You can tell me. It's fine. We're safe. I love you.
Stacy
He wanted to go to bed. I couldn't go to bed. I had to leave.
Caleb Hammer
What'd you do?
Aaron
I'm not deciding.
Caleb Hammer
Is it that bad?
Aaron
I'm not disclosing it on here.
Caleb Hammer
It must have been that bad for you to.
Aaron
I'm not disclosing it on here.
Caleb Hammer
I already heard that part. That's why I'm not gonna ask again. But oh my goodness, if you're not willing to talk about it and she left that night, that has to be pretty egregious. That's all I'm thinking. Which honestly, would make me nervous, too. That's probably also why you can't find a decent job.
Aaron
No, I'm not a felon. I have a pretty clean record. Yeah, you're not a felon.
Caleb Hammer
Then what I don't understand. Well, again, I'm not gonna ask again. I'm not gonna push your boundary, if that's a boundary, which I'm picking up. I don't know why you didn't tell me not to bring that up before,
Aaron
but I thought I did, so my bad.
Caleb Hammer
But okay, that's fine. Be more prepared next time. There won't be a next time, but be more prepared next time. Okay. Yeah. I mean, so I would have trust issues too. And now, I mean, I, I, I'll be completely honest. I have trust issues. I mean, I caught you in the little lies. Felt like you were big lying to me earlier. And now there's this thing that you're being hyper vague about, and I'm just going to let you know based on a few episodes in the past. I'm not going to pressure you to tell me. You do not have to tell me. I'm very okay with you not to tell me.
Aaron
Appreciate that. Of course.
Caleb Hammer
But I am going to let you know based on previous episodes. The vagueness makes it look worse than it likely is.
Aaron
I'd rather take that on the chin.
Caleb Hammer
Ok, I'll let you take it on the chin.
Aaron
Yeah.
Caleb Hammer
But I'm going To have a hard time trusting you. And I don't blame her for having that issue. And again, that is what scares me. Finances are one of the large leading causes for divorce in this country. And if right now there's this big boiling pot of lack of trust, but it doesn't matter as much because everything is so good, everything is so honeymoon, everything is so exciting, what happens when that just becomes normal and all that's left is a steaming pile of lack of trust? That's nervous for me personally, especially if we're brought to intertwine our finances so quick. I don't know. I don't know.
Aaron
Yeah, no, I just don't do. No, I'm just rolling with it.
Caleb Hammer
Don't do to me whatever you did to someone. I actually don't even know. So that was a joke. I don't know what you did, but listen. I don't know. I mean, Aaron specifically avoids that you've lied or you've admitted that you've lied during money conversations with Stacy because you want to avoid the conflict. That's what you told Colton. That's what you told Colton. You lie in conversations and you're admitting to that? How the. Is there a future here? I know he's worshiped you and that's some easy dick. Like, very, very good. And you were able to get free housing out of it. Very good. Out of a divorce. Like, come on. I'm starting to connect some dots in my head. Why the fuck are you dealing with this?
Stacy
He does everything my ex husband doesn't. He cleans the house.
Caleb Hammer
He's not overseas.
Stacy
He goes grocery shopping with me. Okay.
Caleb Hammer
I don't think they can do that when they're overse.
Stacy
He was only gone for three months at a time. But when he was home, I did everything. He actually is a contributing member to
Caleb Hammer
the household and it's really contributing lies and deception and.
Stacy
Well, at least it doesn't feel like I'm taking care of.
Aaron
It was like two times that I had a big. I had told two big lies within
Caleb Hammer
a few months is pretty brutal, actually. That's actually a pretty bad track record. That's pretty bad.
Aaron
That's not good.
Caleb Hammer
That's not good there, Mr. Aaron. What'd he lie about?
Stacy
What do I lie about?
Caleb Hammer
What did he lie about?
Aaron
Well, it was the old roommate thing.
Stacy
The old roommate thing.
Caleb Hammer
Oh, yeah, that one's. And then the fact that you lied about it is a bad thing. Not that you're doing it. I mean, I wouldn't advise you doing it, but the lying. I don't understand. It was a pointless lie, which is even worse than a lie that, like, you could have some reasoning for it makes it even worse. And what's the other lie?
Aaron
I don't actually. May have mistaken overlap. Was there.
Stacy
I don't think you've lied about any.
Caleb Hammer
I don't know. You were telling Colton that you've specifically lied to avoid confrontation in the financial conversations of the household.
Aaron
I think I was mostly just referencing the old roommate thing. Cause, I mean, it was a very broad.
Stacy
Is there anything else?
Aaron
Well, it was a broad question. No, there's nothing else. I mean.
Stacy
Okay, just checking.
Aaron
It was a very broad question to me in general. So I just. Yeah, I had replied with just the old roommate thing.
Caleb Hammer
Okay, so what are we doing, guys? So what the Is even going on today? Because let's just be honest. We can all. We can all see it from here. This is a mess. This is a mess. This early on in a relationship. I don't know what you guys are doing. I don't think you know what you guys are doing. You guys are having fun, which is fair. Which is fair. Have fun. But does everything else have to move as quick with it? I don't think so. This is a mess, guys. This relationship's a mess. What is going on?
Aaron
I've always wanted her. I'm not gonna.
Caleb Hammer
I know.
Aaron
You already know, but it's exciting to
Caleb Hammer
get with your high school crushes. Does that mean that that's who our spouse is for life? I don't know. And also, would you. Why even start the relationship out of lie with, like, the overlap and these other things? It's like. It doesn't make any sense.
Aaron
We had went to Christmas at her parents, you know, it was. What was it. Was it last year?
Stacy
Yeah.
Aaron
She basically expressed concern about the whole roommate money thing, and I told her my thing on it. Like, that was like.
Caleb Hammer
Like a couple weeks into the. Even after the diddling at the funeral. Okay. Interesting.
Aaron
Yeah.
Caleb Hammer
Why would you be so concerned about it at that point? Like, that's invasive and intrusive.
Stacy
Because I was paying for everything at that point, and it just doesn't seem fair. He didn't have the money to, like, pay for things, you know, and if someone else is getting it that you're not even, like, living with, then I just. It's not fair.
Caleb Hammer
So that confrontation does speak words. But for what it's worth, with how you started the relationship, with how you've done it, with your trust issues, you know, one of the easiest Ways to tell someone does something bad or thinks something bad is what they accuse the other person without any proof. And you accused her of cheating. You had to go through all her Instagram messages, all her text messages, all that shit. Why would you accuse her of that?
Stacy
That.
Caleb Hammer
Such as? Unless there's, like, actually something that was seen. Not a very normal thing to accuse.
Aaron
There is a specific. What was it? It was. She had went to a restaurant with her ex. To talk about stuff.
Caleb Hammer
Yeah, she's getting a divorce.
Aaron
Let me. Let me just elaborate a little more. I'll make it a quicker summary.
Caleb Hammer
It's okay.
Aaron
You know, she was in a good mood before. I had to go walk the dog. I walk the dog, I come back, she's pissed. So I'm asking her what's going on. Ex husband's being a dick, this and that, blah, blah, blah. And at some point, you know, I'm just like, can I just see, like, the messages for more context? Like, I feel like you're really not giving me enough to go off of. So I start reading it. She kind of starts shying away her phone. Like, no, let me see the text. And there was essentially some, like, affection. Intimacy that was shared. It wasn't.
Caleb Hammer
It was not.
Stacy
Affection and intimacy. Intimacy, okay.
Aaron
But you kissed him after the dinner. Like, that's kind of weird to me.
Stacy
Like, there's no affection or intimacy.
Aaron
She scared you that much? Why are you gonna let him do that?
Stacy
What am I supposed.
Caleb Hammer
You say no.
Aaron
You're a woman in 2020.
Stacy
In 2026, there was no intimacy. Nothing happened. There was no flirting.
Aaron
So you're telling me if he was here right now and he tried to steal another kiss from you, you gotta let that happen?
Stacy
No, I'm not gonna let that happen. He's gross.
Aaron
So why did you. Wait, why did you kiss him the first place?
Caleb Hammer
Why did you kiss him? That's actually kind of crazy.
Stacy
He's just. He. He just leaned in to kiss me, and I just let it happen. I didn't know what to do.
Caleb Hammer
You have no agency. What the is this?
Stacy
He's like six foot five.
Caleb Hammer
Hello, darkness. My old friend. Oh, shut up. He's a little scared. What was he gonna do? Take out an axe and slice you in the middle of a restaurant?
Aaron
But you had told me a completely different story about what went down that night. You said you had dinner with him at Red Robin.
Caleb Hammer
You.
Aaron
After dinner, you went to Half Price Books to calm down, and you got your little sister son a book. That is not what the.
Stacy
I did get Him a book.
Aaron
Yeah, but then you also bought your ex husband a book.
Stacy
To be fair, I didn't buy him the book.
Aaron
You both went to half price books together by accident. You guys went to half price books together. You got him a book.
Caleb Hammer
Oh, that's. Why are you guys going to half price? That's like a date activity.
Aaron
Thank you.
Stacy
That was like right across the street.
Aaron
That's why I was so cool.
Caleb Hammer
That's like a date activity.
Aaron
If you were just straight up with me on that. And I am a hypocrite. I'm a hypocrite at this point because I lied to you about the rent. Shit. Hold the on.
Caleb Hammer
Okay.
Aaron
The thing is, you could have told me. Very straightforward, like, hey, this is what happened. Something was a little exchanged, went to half price books, and then we left. I still would have been very upset. But then you decided as soon as I. I don't know how to navigate. As soon as I called you out on it. I don't know how to do anything.
Caleb Hammer
As soon as I called you out
Aaron
on it, you start freaking the out. Like I was gonna hit you.
Caleb Hammer
I had to give you space. I've been through a lot angrier. One thing you don't know is that, yeah, she has like fully just gone out and sent her ex flowers while you guys are together.
Aaron
You want to elaborate on that?
Caleb Hammer
I don't know why? I mean, don't hit her. I agree with that part. I'm not gonna hit her.
Aaron
I don't hit women. That's up.
Caleb Hammer
Well, I don't know. That was her fear.
Aaron
Okay, fair enough.
Stacy
If I loved him, I would send him the boat title with my signature on it.
Aaron
Do you realize how that sounds?
Caleb Hammer
Why would he be texting you after you guys are going through divorce and you're with him? If you loved me, if you loved
Stacy
me, you'd send me the boat title.
Caleb Hammer
Why would he even have that language?
Stacy
I don't know why he would have that language. And so instead I sent him flowers and he was not pleased about it. I thought it was kind of funny. He didn't get. He didn't get the boat title.
Aaron
Okay, hold on. Let me. Let me try to. He was get in your mindset real quick. So cards on table. Was this like a dominance thing to with him or was there still a little bit of a.
Stacy
It's like a dominance thing. It's like when I bought him a Starbucks when we were exchanging.
Caleb Hammer
Yeah, dominance. Like you kissing him.
Stacy
No, I didn't kiss him. I didn't kiss him. I didn't kiss him.
Aaron
That's not what that text said.
Stacy
I didn't kiss him.
Caleb Hammer
What the text say? Wait, what'd the text say?
Aaron
I can't.
Stacy
I have no idea even referring.
Aaron
I can't really remember at this point because it was long ago. That was a long night by the way. But it was something.
Caleb Hammer
We've been together five months. How long ago?
Aaron
It was something along the lines of like you're switching up how you feel now. We exchanged a kiss. Like why are you so backpedaling on
Caleb Hammer
what you said you exchanged a kiss. That's goal pushing because you were saying he kissed you on the nose. That's not exchanging kiss.
Stacy
He did not kiss this on the lip.
Caleb Hammer
That didn't happen.
Stacy
Show me the text. I don't have the texts.
Caleb Hammer
Why?
Stacy
I delete them or else I keep looking back at them. I get anxious.
Caleb Hammer
Why would you keep looking back at the text on your ex?
Stacy
I have no self control.
Caleb Hammer
What are you self controlling?
Stacy
It makes me anxious. That's why I haven't blocked on everything. I don't want to go back and
Caleb Hammer
look at what you have self control from. Yeah, looking back, what would you be having? Self control. Self control. Doing what?
Stacy
Hell no. Just. This is hard.
Caleb Hammer
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Aaron
And that's a promise.
Caleb Hammer
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Aaron
Looks like you're in the hot seat, Stacey.
Caleb Hammer
He tried to specifically turn off the vanish mode auto delete stuff on your phone and you wouldn't let him.
Stacy
Well, why are you turning on auto delete? You think you don't.
Caleb Hammer
Because he can't trust you. After you exchange a kiss with a guy and now saying it was on your nose.
Stacy
No, then it just gets deleted. What's the point of that if you can't go in and look at things later? Why are you turning auto delete on my phone?
Caleb Hammer
No, he tried to turn it off.
Aaron
Yeah, auto deletes off.
Stacy
It was already. It wasn't on. Wait, I saw you.
Aaron
How are you talking about the disappearing messages? That was literally on.
Stacy
It was not.
Aaron
It was on.
Stacy
I saw you grab my phone and turn it on and then be like, look, it's on.
Aaron
It was already on. I turned it off.
Stacy
I have no clue how to turn that on.
Caleb Hammer
Swipe up. I get it. I love a good disappearing goon message When I'm in the goon zone. You can look at the. Because people like to do crazy things with influencers. So I don't want to with that shit, you goon.
Aaron
That shit crazy.
Caleb Hammer
But you guys are together and let me be very clear. No open.
Stacy
No.
Caleb Hammer
Well, then I would be very, very sketched out if I looked over and the girl I'm with is having vanish mode conversations with her ex husband.
Stacy
You turned it on.
Aaron
I will say, to be fair, the only thing. Because I know the guy. The only thing they actually talk about. They don't even talk. They just send memes.
Caleb Hammer
Why did they kiss?
Aaron
No, that's a different person. Different person.
Caleb Hammer
Oh, wait. What the f. Who was that?
Aaron
What were you referencing?
Stacy
Well, I'm talking about. You probably talk. No, I didn't kiss anybody. He's confused.
Caleb Hammer
No, you did. Who'd you exchange a kiss with?
Stacy
Nobody.
Aaron
The. The ex husband.
Caleb Hammer
Yeah, but there's no vanish mode with the ex husband.
Aaron
I see the cross connection. Okay, so we were talking about the whole Red Robin situation, Right? And then she jumped. I'm gonna assume you jumped to where you were talking about the disappearing messages on Instagram, right?
Stacy
Yeah.
Aaron
Okay, so there was a jump in the conversation. Okay, so that's where we got mixed up.
Caleb Hammer
Is it not a red flag, though, Stacy, that Aaron's friends warned you to. Oh, wait, sorry. Sorry. Actually, reverse. Yeah, yeah. No, no. One of your friends told you. Warned you about her before you guys got together.
Stacy
She's a.
Caleb Hammer
But is that not a red flag? A little.
Stacy
And then that's not a red flag.
Caleb Hammer
And then you kissing your ex. Come on.
Aaron
There is a whole he hated me,
Stacy
or she's hated me since high school.
Aaron
There is a whole situation with them in high school. And at the end of the day, to an extent, I sided with that friend.
Stacy
However, she's nuts. She wanted my other friend to pay for prom. The whole thing, I don't know.
Caleb Hammer
Is Everett a small town?
Aaron
No. No. Well, at this time, we were going to.
Caleb Hammer
We were in small town. Why are you all so obsessed with prom in high school? Still. Still.
Aaron
Oh, I didn't go to prom. I thought that was dumb as. Anyhow.
Caleb Hammer
Great. Yeah, you're right. I heard her, dude. You were a loser. You didn't have prom.
Aaron
Yeah, no, I was also.
Caleb Hammer
That was it.
Aaron
She was able to tell me her side of the story, which lined up pretty well with what I was told on that friend's side. So I was like, okay, I can.
Stacy
She's hated me since the beginning. Yeah, my twin sister, too.
Caleb Hammer
You guys started with basically cheating from both sides. Like you kissing your ex. And you with the overlap, it's like,
Aaron
what the are we doing?
Stacy
She's jealous because she wants to him.
Caleb Hammer
This relationship that has no foundation.
Stacy
That's what it is. No.
Caleb Hammer
Is that what it is?
Stacy
I think she wants to you really bad.
Aaron
There is a point where I knew she was into me, but I. It wasn't. I was not reciprocated, of course.
Stacy
That's weird.
Aaron
Yeah, I was.
Caleb Hammer
Who would be the fourth?
Aaron
My girlfriend at the time. Not the 40 year old, but who
Caleb Hammer
would be the third then?
Stacy
Her and her husband.
Aaron
Yeah. Oh yeah. We all banged in the same room. I wasn't really into it afterwards. We. No swapping. There wasn't any swapping. It wasn't like that just kind of happened that night and yeah, no, I wasn't really into it afterwards. I felt very gross and then too probably. Yeah, no, it was bad.
Stacy
You wanted you so bad.
Aaron
But they see, here's the thing, they kept with me on the subject like, oh, we're gonna ban your girlfriend. Like it's gonna happen again or something.
Caleb Hammer
Yeah, I don't care. I don't care.
Aaron
I don't care. Care.
Caleb Hammer
She warned you about her. Why would she do that?
Aaron
I assume she still has some resid. A lot of residual or because you
Caleb Hammer
guys both started this relationship on borderline cheating on both sides. Come on. Crazy.
Stacy
What she's defending to like, you know, save him.
Caleb Hammer
I don't care. There's no foundation of the relationship. I don't even understand the point, guys. Once you guys get slightly out of the excitement, this relationship's done. I mean, come on. It totally is. There's no longevity here. And if there is, it's going to be misery eventually.
Aaron
I like to think my passion will overpower all that bullshit.
Caleb Hammer
Past was five months ago. No, no, no.
Aaron
Passion, passion, passion. Jesus Christ, read a goddamn book.
Caleb Hammer
Read a book. What are you. How do you. You don't learn that passion will overpower
Aaron
all the short term bullshit.
Stacy
You were saying like passion?
Caleb Hammer
Well, that's the thing. That's what I'm specifically saying is that this passion, this fiery moment, the honeymoon phase, well, hey. And then nothing's left that started with cheating, trust issues along the way. Nothing's there. I want to make this free housing and free money. Oh, that's all there is.
Aaron
I don't want her money, though. No, If I really wanted her money, I would ask her all the time to pay off my car. I would always ask her to buy me booze. I don't. I'm not gonna do that.
Caleb Hammer
Wine and booze. How much do you guys drink? All right, count.
Aaron
A little above average, but you know, who's counting?
Caleb Hammer
Well, this relationship's going to go down in flames.
Aaron
Yeah. We're also blue collar, so I mean.
Caleb Hammer
What?
Stacy
That's a terrible excuse come from the
Caleb Hammer
very blue brown collar family.
Aaron
Oh my God.
Caleb Hammer
What?
Aaron
Everyone drinks every a lot of most
Caleb Hammer
blue color people ages you guys are drinking has fallen off the cliff dramatically.
Aaron
Wait, really?
Caleb Hammer
Yes. Really?
Stacy
Yeah.
Caleb Hammer
I think Gen Z adults. Yes.
Aaron
Really Smoke more.
Caleb Hammer
I'm sorry. Just because you're an alcoholic doesn't mean everyone else around you is. Just because you're a cheater doesn't mean everyone else around you is. Just because you're a liar doesn't mean everyone else around you is.
Aaron
I didn't cheat.
Caleb Hammer
That's not how this world works.
Aaron
Yeah.
Stacy
All right.
Caleb Hammer
Read a book. Read a book. A good one.
Aaron
Yeah. Okay.
Caleb Hammer
What do we think? Combined financial scores? I mean, I don't advise combining, but if that's your guys's entire goal, sure. I'll meet you there. But. But am I doing separate budget or a budget together? What are we trying to do, guys? Where. Where am I going from.
Aaron
From here actually asking. Are you willing to do both just to see where we're kind of at
Caleb Hammer
or would you Separately or together?
Aaron
I. I mean both separately. And then we do the together budget.
Stacy
I want it. I want us to eventually come together. I mean we don't split.
Caleb Hammer
Well, maybe it should be together.
Stacy
That is okay.
Caleb Hammer
What do we think our household financial score is together then? 0 to 10.
Aaron
I actually meant to take that test
Caleb Hammer
before this, but what do you think it is?
Aaron
Yeah, that didn't happen. Two.
Stacy
I was gonna say two.
Aaron
Yeah.
Caleb Hammer
Cast is at Caleb. Hammer.com get your Hammer financial score for free. See where you stand in the world of money. Where you're doing poorly, where you're doing great, what you have to do to get from that poorly to great. And if you don't want to be like a guest who ends up in the show. Make sure you download the dollar wise budgeting app. It is what they will use after this. What they get for free forever. And what you should get the free trial. See if you like it. And if you do, sign up for the annual version. It'll save a lot of money. And when you do, I will personally sign my detailed 30 day meal plan that goes into detail. Every meal, every drink, every snack you make for every day of the month for meal prepping. Sticking to a budget. This thing is incredible. It has saved people a lot of money. I'll sign it and mail it directly to you. Dollarwise.com link below or just download the app.
Aaron
You're very pretty. What are you doing after this? Dude. Yeah, you're rough.
Caleb Hammer
We could.
Stacy
Aaron.
Aaron
What? Trying to riz the guy.
Caleb Hammer
This freak was obsessed with you during high school. Why the did you go back yeah,
Aaron
I'm kind of surprised about that too.
Stacy
He's my best friend. He was my best friend in high school.
Aaron
Tell you what, I'm really lucky for this one. This is good shit. Sorry, you guys go do your thing,
Caleb Hammer
dude, I do not. What? What is this personality call? I've met a few people like this douchebag. It's like, the worst. No, it's not. Douchebag. You're not a douchebag. You're like, dude, you're. There's something wrong with.
Aaron
I appreciate it.
Caleb Hammer
And you're, like, putting on, like a. Your life is a performance. It's so weird. What is this?
Aaron
Yes.
Caleb Hammer
What is this? Brandon. Lindsay. Oh, shit. Hey, guys, we all know things like this. Obnoxious. Oh, a performative, like, cringelord. Redditor. Redditor. Oh, yes.
Aaron
Oh, shit.
Caleb Hammer
You a b tard.
Aaron
You a b tard, bro.
Caleb Hammer
You're doing it still.
Aaron
Yeah, he doesn't now. It's all right.
Caleb Hammer
No one knows.
Aaron
Did you make this yourself?
Caleb Hammer
I've never, like. I mean, I guess I can be kind of like a verbal bully. I've never wanted to be a physical bully, but I kind of. I don't want to kick your ass right now. Now, I don't think I'd necessarily be able to, but I really feel the. There's, I think, some natural evolutionary instinct to, like, do you like to, like, harm you?
Aaron
Do you, like Caleb Smash, feel like doing the whole.
Caleb Hammer
I am nowhere near a cool individual. But you are just what you are, man. It's just. You are Reddit born. Please tell us what a b tard is. Everyone is typing in the document, curious because no one knows what this is.
Stacy
I honestly, I don't know what that.
Aaron
I don't know.
Stacy
I'm just making shit up.
Aaron
No, that's an actual term on Reddit. I don't.
Caleb Hammer
You are a Redditor. Oh, what's happening?
Aaron
No, no, no.
Caleb Hammer
He put this gauges and everything. We knew it.
Aaron
Oh, I'm not an actual Redditor, if anything.
Caleb Hammer
Yes, you are. You're an elder millennial Redditor.
Aaron
No, no, no, no, no, no. I will look shit up hard.
Stacy
Lurker.
Aaron
So I'm playing Dark Souls. I'll look shit up on like, where's this boss? This and that. Reddit always has the answer. Answers. You have one problem currently that someone had 10 years ago. There is always an answer on that specific goddamn.
Caleb Hammer
What's a b tard?
Aaron
I don't know.
Caleb Hammer
I got it. Wouldn't they have the answer for that they could.
Aaron
Why don't you look it up real quick? You got the little fancy b tard
Caleb Hammer
frequenter of 4chan's notorious random image board.
Stacy
Isn't that true?
Caleb Hammer
Do you think that's what Brandon is?
Aaron
Is it 4chan?
Caleb Hammer
Yes, it is. Let's go into the first one. Should we look at your Reddit history?
Stacy
No,
Aaron
it's hot in here. Can I. Can I go make a call?
Stacy
Stop.
Caleb Hammer
It's very hot. Is that a joke?
Aaron
It's very.
Caleb Hammer
Yeah, he's making a joke. He's doing like Elder Millennial performance. Cringe Lord.
Aaron
Sweating predator. Yeah, it's very hot right now.
Caleb Hammer
And you like this. And you get this gets you wet. Like, that's impressive. My day's not your biological. It's very. He is Elder millennial. Cringe Lord. Everyone look at the shirt.
Aaron
What? Oh, yeah, I just thought I'd, you know.
Stacy
Dude.
Caleb Hammer
Oh.
Aaron
Oh, thank you so much.
Stacy
I appreciate it.
Caleb Hammer
Oh, there's a ponytail. I never even saw that there's a ponytail.
Aaron
Oh, no, it's braided.
Stacy
I braided his hair before we came on the bro.
Caleb Hammer
Oh, my good long hair.
Aaron
You know, sometimes if I want to
Caleb Hammer
make it easier for her when she
Aaron
pulls my hair, you know, listen, I'm
Caleb Hammer
okay saying that I won't get cancel saying this because you're a white man, but we need to put people like you in a camp. This shit is. Dude, we need.
Aaron
Wait, is it for concentration? Yeah, kill me now.
Caleb Hammer
Anyhow, that's what I was advocating for in Minecraft. So whose card is this? This venture one?
Stacy
Mine. He doesn't have any credits.
Caleb Hammer
The one that makes money. What the is wrong with you? It's red. Which means. What is it? What does he mean? There's fees being Tina. What the is wrong with you? Stacy. What the possible is wrong with you?
Stacy
I didn't have a debit card for a little bit when I left the house. I didn't have a debit card. Yeah.
Caleb Hammer
Why?
Stacy
I took. I just digital.
Caleb Hammer
What are you. Huh? I put it in Apple Pay. I didn't have.
Stacy
I don't have Apple Pay.
Aaron
Apple Pay's.
Stacy
I don't wanna use Apple Pay.
Caleb Hammer
What?
Aaron
I hate Apple.
Caleb Hammer
Okay.
Stacy
Isn't that an iPhone?
Caleb Hammer
Yeah. You're a Redditor. Android user. We know who you are. I use Reddit. I just use it for the answers. Jesus. Then look at your history.
Aaron
Oh, I can't log in.
Caleb Hammer
What?
Aaron
Damn. Yeah, Crazy shit. Actually, you know, you're so cooked right now. Crazy as shit. You know, they actually, like, just deleted the app. It's the whole thing.
Stacy
Anyways, what happened was I just quickly left the house. I took half the money out of the bank account, and then I didn't open a bank account.
Caleb Hammer
I hate him. He's the worst.
Aaron
I get that a lot.
Caleb Hammer
He's the worst human I've ever met. I've said that a few times. But you are still. No, you're the worst.
Aaron
Top five.
Caleb Hammer
Number one. When I say the worst, it means the worst.
Aaron
Yes.
Caleb Hammer
So, yeah. So what's happening with Stacy?
Stacy
I. I took all the money.
Caleb Hammer
Pause again. I'm sorry. I did ask you and then I interrupted you immediately. Okay, Stacy, as a girls girl, I must advocate for you.
Brandon
Girls.
Caleb Hammer
Girls.
Aaron
Savor girls.
Caleb Hammer
This is when you don't talk. Listen, it's fun right now. This cannot be the guy you're with. I don't. I don't. I don't ever say this in, like, actual reality, but I'm saying this in reality right now. This is not the guy to be with. It's fun. He was high school. You're a part of friend groups. You probably. You got some good things in common. Congratulations. You got one that cleans wonderful. You can get a lot of those. Sounds like you had a shitty accident. Just because the ex was shitty, don't settle with this blue sky redditor freak. Cringe Lord. Melina, please, please. You can do so much better. Stacey. You can do so much better. You can go get a solid 5 out of 10 that's gonna be so much better than this guy. You have no idea.
Aaron
Shit, Am I a 6?
Stacy
I feel like he's. No one's gonna be as funny as him.
Caleb Hammer
Or 7. I knew it was coming. I knew I was gonna say if you said it, you'd come. I knew you were gonna go there. You are the most predictable, pathetic mother.
Aaron
I didn't come here.
Caleb Hammer
Stacy, please, please, please leave this man. Stacy, there's a gorgeous man named Mark right behind you that is 10 times better. 10 times better than this pathetic individual's.
Aaron
He's very hot, by the way. I will say.
Stacy
Oh, my God. You have a crush on everybody in here.
Aaron
You gotta pop a blood vessel.
Stacy
You got Lindsey.
Caleb Hammer
No, no, no.
Aaron
I'm my biggest crush.
Caleb Hammer
I don't be near you. Is it that good? Is the dick that good? It has to be. There is nothing else that makes sense.
Stacy
I'm not angry about it.
Caleb Hammer
That has to be it.
Stacy
It. I'm not mad.
Aaron
I get that crazy style.
Caleb Hammer
Dude. Five months. You're going to be 15 months in dude, you might be the first guest on the show that kills herself. Oh, my God. I don't want you to. You need to leave this now.
Aaron
She'll kill me before she does herself. I mean, that's just mandatory.
Caleb Hammer
I don't want to look at him like I've never had the struggle. I can't. I'm sure he's cute.
Stacy
Cute. I think he's cute.
Caleb Hammer
It's. It's not. It's not a matter of looks, dude. It's just. It's personality. It's the worst personality. I think I've been around. Leave him. Okay, so what. What's happened with this? Listen, no matter how bad you are, I will actually just permanently feel bad for you because you're with him. So I won't even yell at you for this. What's going on?
Stacy
So just to kind of, like, re restart my story, I left the house before my husband got home.
Caleb Hammer
So please leave the house permanently very soon.
Stacy
I took half the money out of our bank account, and for a little bit, I didn't have a debit card because I was just kind of like, fight or flight? Like, get out of there.
Caleb Hammer
You need to fight or flight. Get the out of this relationship. Continue.
Stacy
Fighter flight from everything. But, yeah, for what's about a month, I'd say maybe, like, three weeks. I didn't have a debit card. So, like, I, you know, I put a. Paid a lot of stuff with cash. I put a lot of stuff on the credit card. I needed stuff for the apartment because we really didn't have much furniture. Oh, well, we got all of our old stuff, but, you know, we need, like, a couch and, like, kitchen stuff, so I just put everything on the credit card.
Aaron
You still want to do that boneless couch shit?
Stacy
I don't think now's the time to talk about a boneless couch.
Aaron
Yeah, fair enough. It's fair. It's fair.
Stacy
But, yeah. Or is. Or is that one the one I put my lawyer fees on? I think that's what Capital One.
Caleb Hammer
I don't know. I don't know. How would I know? I'm not the guy who spent shit on this. I don't see. I don't see your entire purchase history of your life. I see the last month.
Stacy
Month.
Caleb Hammer
And what does last month say? It says past due. Why are you past due?
Stacy
I don't think it was past due.
Caleb Hammer
Okay, you were past due. Stacy. Are you. You were past due. If it says past due, it means past due. Past two is past. It's right there. That it's late you not. Maybe not credit statement late, but it is past due.
Stacy
I didn't think about it at the time.
Caleb Hammer
I was going through a lot. What were you going through? Going through a lot. You're with him. You're going through a lot daily.
Aaron
I get it.
Caleb Hammer
I understand.
Aaron
Take that one.
Stacy
Well, in the very beginning, I was sleeping on the floor of the apartment. And you weren't moved in yet. That was pretty hard.
Aaron
Air mattress.
Stacy
Pretty sad.
Aaron
Air mattress not any better. Yeah, I'll take that one. On the train.
Stacy
And at that time, I didn't work for like a month. I took a break. I was going through a lot. I needed a break.
Aaron
Are you getting madder and madder?
Caleb Hammer
No, I'm not getting. I'm just. Honestly, I'm shutting down. I'm shutting down, man. You're just.
Aaron
You wanna.
Caleb Hammer
I just need you to stop talking. Okay. I would like to continue with her. It's just like. Oh, my goodness.
Aaron
You wanna kiss a little?
Caleb Hammer
You've been late two months this year.
Stacy
Yeah. Why?
Caleb Hammer
I still wants to see her as of a couple months ago. Meaning it's probably been worse at this point. Stacy, what the are you doing? Is this why you're actually with him? Because you wouldn't be able to survive on your own? Cause you're right. I don't think you'd be able to. Not if you're behind on credit cards. If that's actually the reason, tell me afterwards when he's not here and we can rescue you. Cause you need to get the away from this loser. Do not have kids with him. If this is the reason, I understand it. That is a valid reason to feel that way. Feel.
Stacy
I. I can't. I can't give you a good reason why I was past due.
Caleb Hammer
This is the reason you won't leave Stacy. Is it? Please. No. You can tell me afterwards. I get it. I get it. I wouldn't say it on camera either.
Stacy
There.
Caleb Hammer
Tell me afterwards. We'll get you a hotel for a month or something. Dude, we need to get you out of this.
Aaron
Five stars.
Caleb Hammer
Get you out of this. We got to get you out of this, man. Discover it. What's going on?
Stacy
My Discover card is the one I put all my.
Caleb Hammer
I'm sorry. No, I didn't even say the balance. And ship for the last one. So distracted by this creature. Okay. Okay. Venture one U O. $9,518.33. Yeah, you and you're behind a couple months. It's probably like a normally like 250 payment. I'm gonna say, of course you're behind. You're getting fees, added interest is accruing. It takes 26 years to pay off. If you're still with him at that point, you will have lived the worst life. I need. You can have a better life. It must be hard because you guys have a shared friend group, right?
Stacy
Yeah.
Caleb Hammer
Shit. So you can't. You can't because if you leave them, then the finances are harder and that's.
Stacy
Oh.
Caleb Hammer
Then. Ah. And then the friend group.
Stacy
Oh.
Caleb Hammer
So what have you done to yourself? You didn't have to do this. You should not have mixed. You should not have mixed fun and friends. It's a mess. It all explodes in the end.
Stacy
Not to be fair. I don't talk to a lot of the people. Honestly.
Caleb Hammer
Good. So it doesn't matter. Please just go on.
Stacy
I kind of hate everybody. I'm fine.
Aaron
This is true. Surprised you don't hate me. I mean, Jesus Christ, let me come onto this show wearing a shirt that
Caleb Hammer
says, Pee Pee Poo Poo Poo Poo. Pee Pee.
Aaron
Pee Pee Poo Poo. I mean, me, man. Like, this is bad.
Caleb Hammer
I'm getting audible reactions from people behind you that are shaking their head no. You are.
Aaron
I'm. What?
Caleb Hammer
Nobody likes you. I'm so sorry to say this. This is so mean. But nobody likes you. That's too mean. No, no, no. That's like, too mean.
Aaron
Honestly, it's really fair.
Caleb Hammer
No, no, no, no. Pause. Like, I call people people and slots and all this stuff, but it's always cheeky. And it's always. It's with fun. When I say nobody likes you. Oh, I mean it. And that's like.
Aaron
That.
Caleb Hammer
That feels too mean. That feels to me like. I feel bad. No, no, no. I feel bad. Let me feel bad. Shut up. You can't tell me how I feel. I feel bad.
Stacy
Take it. Oh, okay. Never mind.
Aaron
What?
Stacy
No, nothing.
Caleb Hammer
What's up, Brandon? Can you join me for the second half of this? I just need. I need someone to balance it out. I need just a normal guy. Oh, you're like the embodiment of, like. Nah, nah, honey, I'm good.
Aaron
Yes.
Stacy
I go through life with a good attitude, or try to.
Caleb Hammer
I'm technically a millennial. But, like. And I'm okay with it. I have no problem with my generation or the generation below me. Your generation. But I have a problem with you. You.
Aaron
I love you, Papa Hammer.
Caleb Hammer
Dude. Brandon. I can't. I can't.
Aaron
Yes. Can't let it flow.
Caleb Hammer
What do you how do you actually feel about this? I have to know. You have to be just struggling right now.
Stacy
I do feel a little tense. This is a little hard.
Aaron
A little.
Stacy
A little.
Caleb Hammer
Well, this guy's doing this. He's handling it well. He's handling it well. He's cracking this as well. Jokes.
Stacy
I don't know if I'm handling it well.
Caleb Hammer
No, I Starbucks is bull and a waste of money and you already know that by making your coffee at home and investing the rest. So now you need to do that with your energy drink as well. Make Gamer subs at home for just 40 cents a serving. And honestly, it literally tastes better. And we proved this accidentally via a blind taste test in our Hammer Elite show Fat and Fatter, the number one
Aaron
ranked energy drink gamer.
Brandon
Literally. The cherry flavor is insane.
Caleb Hammer
Listen, you can also get free samples to see if you like it or 10% off your order at GamersUps GG or click that link in the description below. Type in code Caleb Stop Bleeding out Money Making minimum payments across multiple high interest Accounts Most Americans are spending hundreds, sometimes thousands of dollars that could be going toward actually paying down debt instead of aligning some banks pockets. And look, if you're sitting on high interest credit card debt, a car loan 18% or oh my goodness, a payday loan charging you triple digit interest rates, you need to hear this. If you've already cut up the cards and built better financial habits, but you're still drowning in interest payments, barely making progress, this is for you. I have opened my very own marketplace, a personal loan marketplace that lets you get personalized offers from multiple lenders. In one place. You can see if you pre qualify in minutes and it won't impact your credit score.
Aaron
Score.
Caleb Hammer
But here's the deal. This isn't a magic bullet. If you refinance your debt but keep swiping, you're just making the problem worse. You still need to fix the behavior that screwed you in the first place. But if you're serious about getting out of debt faster, you could potentially lower your monthly payment by securing a single payment at a much better rate. Check out the link in the description below to see your personalized offers. Or go to calebhammer.com and remember, you still got to do the work. That's well, what is he like normally? Please just maybe you could. Sometimes we do guest translations. Translate for me. What the I'm trying to say. Cause I don't even know what I'm trying to say. I'm shutting down here out of just millennial cringe. Please Please.
Aaron
You have very pretty eyes.
Caleb Hammer
I'm gonna write down some numbers. Please do some things to translate for me.
Brandon
You, sir, are incredibly cringe.
Aaron
That's fair.
Brandon
You're coming across like a 4chan Redditor. Crossbreed.
Aaron
Yes.
Brandon
Not a compliment.
Aaron
Good.
Caleb Hammer
How should he behave? Like a normal adult, you say?
Brandon
Caleb, you have a really good point there.
Aaron
I will take that into heavy consideration.
Stacy
Okay.
Aaron
Are you tense enough?
Caleb Hammer
What advice would you give for him? Cuz, I mean, Braden's a cool dude. He, you know, he's also friends with his high school people, but, you know, they're cool people. They're probably everything you wish you were. I'll be honest. What advice would you give for this man so that he could act just like a normal person? Because he fucking needs it.
Brandon
What I recommend, all right, is you try to do something cool after high school so that you don't have to keep referencing high school. Elaborate, right, like, okay, like you commit crime and then.
Aaron
Right.
Brandon
Work for the maintenance. But if you didn't do that, you could do something really, really, really cool and level up and then you could impress her as opposed to embarrass her in front of the. The millions.
Aaron
You know what? Honest answer. You make a very good point.
Caleb Hammer
Then why do you keep behaving this way?
Aaron
I ain't gonna lie, man. I'm pretty goddamn nervous. I'm about piss my pants.
Caleb Hammer
It's okay to be nervous. Everyone's nervous. Who comes on the show. That happens three to four times a week. Every upload you see is nervous people. People don't act like you fair. And she says, this is you doing well. She said, he's doing well.
Stacy
Think I'm doing well.
Aaron
Okay. Really appreciate it.
Caleb Hammer
You're doing it again.
Aaron
You do make a good point.
Caleb Hammer
What would you call that? We keep calling it Reddit and maybe that's what it is. Like, what is it?
Aaron
Nobody Reddit at this point. It's Twitter. I mean. I mean, Jesus Christ.
Stacy
I don't have a Twitter. I'm good.
Caleb Hammer
Okay, that's fine. You're saying he's doing well? What is he like normally? This is a personality audit real quick for the last 10 minutes.
Stacy
I mean, he's usually like that. He's pretty. Yeah.
Brandon
This is a normal occurrence.
Stacy
I'd say it's pretty normal. It's pretty on brand for him.
Aaron
F.
Caleb Hammer
Okay.
Stacy
He's never more. It's never boring.
Brandon
I think we would prefer boring.
Caleb Hammer
Boring.
Brandon
I think boring. If that. If the alternative is boring. That sounds kind of sick, you know,
Aaron
how about how about we do this? Can I throw a genuine suggestion out there? How about I do genuinely five minutes of boredom and then we can see the difference. Does that sound good?
Caleb Hammer
I don't know about boredom. I just want you to act normal.
Aaron
So, okay, so five minutes of normalcy. How about that?
Caleb Hammer
Normalcy would be great. Why don't you just act like a human? Yes. You don't have to be cringe lord Reddit 4chan freak.
Aaron
Got it.
Caleb Hammer
What? In life. It's a personality audit. I'm just telling you to do again. I am not a perfect embitterment of
Brandon
Just like I just saw a shirt.
Aaron
Oh, shit. Really?
Caleb Hammer
He was so proud of it. Did you see that? Oh my.
Aaron
I tie dyed it semi recently.
Caleb Hammer
Oh, he did his own tie dye.
Aaron
Oh, she helped me with it.
Caleb Hammer
That do not enable.
Brandon
I thought we had five minutes of normal.
Aaron
I. I'm being genuine.
Caleb Hammer
No, I know you're being genuine.
Aaron
All right, you know what? Five minutes of normalcy starts now.
Caleb Hammer
Okay?
Aaron
Yeah, we'll start it now.
Caleb Hammer
Sure, why not? Okay, who's to discover it? Who is it?
Stacy
Me.
Caleb Hammer
Okay. What the is wrong with you? What is wrong with you? I get it. I'd be co spending like crazy.
Stacy
Amazon. Amazon. Yeah, that. That has all my Amazon purchases on it.
Caleb Hammer
He has a gun, right?
Stacy
He does, yeah. I have one too.
Aaron
It is locked. It is back at home, locked in a gun safe about, say, security pocket.
Brandon
Who has to the safe?
Aaron
Just me. And that's the problem.
Stacy
That's where I keep all my concern.
Caleb Hammer
Yours is in your safe? Yes. Do you have access to it?
Stacy
My own safe? Yes.
Caleb Hammer
Can we please make sure you have no access to any weapon that can be put in a mountain mouth?
Stacy
Okay.
Caleb Hammer
In the future, because I don't know how long you're gonna be on this earth.
Aaron
I like to think that's a reasonable request.
Stacy
Okay.
Aaron
Five minutes of normalcy.
Caleb Hammer
We.
Brandon
We made it.
Caleb Hammer
Starting now.
Brandon
We made it 90 seconds.
Caleb Hammer
Again.
Brandon
We made it 90 seconds.
Aaron
God damn it.
Stacy
We should start a timer.
Aaron
I can do that.
Stacy
Okay.
Aaron
Should I do that? All right.
Caleb Hammer
Amazon. Amazon, Amazon, Amazon. Google. Okay, let's just show me your Amazon. Dude, this. What the.
Aaron
Hers.
Caleb Hammer
Sh. Your dick. Are you the upgrade? Are you this guy? This is you. Is this you? This is you.
Stacy
No, I think that's your. I think that's my Clarna. Is that or.
Caleb Hammer
Yeah, probably. Give me your Amazon.
Stacy
Okay. Okay. Amazon. You. You want me to take it to orders?
Caleb Hammer
Yeah.
Stacy
Okay.
Caleb Hammer
Show me your Amazon. Amazon. Thank you. They are an Android household. I saw two things in the Car. Let's see. See, that means nothing to me.
Stacy
It's cool.
Caleb Hammer
Shut up. You have a girl. Okay. Maybe you guys are made for each other. My goodness. I just. I don't understand why you want. Let's go back to your. Just your absolute dream. Okay. High school. Why did you want her so bad? What was like. What are you going.
Aaron
So I'm going to give you a general or genuine answer. No, why would you me? Because I've been me the whole time.
Caleb Hammer
So he's been me the whole time. So be you.
Aaron
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm being me. So I really was into her in high school because we shared a lot of general interests that I didn't really have in common with a lot of people. Her knowledge on like retro gaming stuff was. She was the one other person who could really go toe to toe with me on it. We agreed on a lot of philosophies and whatnot, and I'd like to think we still have the same outlook on life.
Caleb Hammer
What is that? I need to know. What are people like you even believing these days?
Aaron
Just. Is that a broad question or outlook on life? Okay, don't be a dick. I mean, that's pretty.
Caleb Hammer
I've been kind of a dick, but I have too. But that's my show.
Aaron
Kissing you.
Caleb Hammer
Also the cheating thing, not great. Lying, not good. Continue. You're breaking your policy. Continue. What's your outlook?
Aaron
It says pretty policy breaking. I mean, just in general. Like, live your life how you want. We're not all here for a long time, but a fun time.
Caleb Hammer
And you guys have a very good time.
Stacy
You're a very good time now.
Caleb Hammer
You're right. No one else believes those things. Don't be a dick and live life happily. Okay. Yeah.
Brandon
Inspiration.
Caleb Hammer
You would have never met anyone else who thought that. I don't know politics.
Aaron
I don't like doing politics. It just gets fucking muddy doing it. You don't have beliefs. Sorry, I don't like discussing politics in general. They get.
Caleb Hammer
We're not gonna discuss. To say what your belief.
Aaron
Perfect. Just what I believe.
Caleb Hammer
What are your beliefs?
Stacy
Core.
Caleb Hammer
Core.
Stacy
Core.
Aaron
Okay. Core beliefs. I think taxes are fair to a certain extent. As long as they're not ridiculous. I want to keep my gun. Don't take away my land. That's all shit.
Caleb Hammer
He's more libertarian, but he seems like Reddit, Leftist, Millennial. I'm so confused.
Aaron
Is that libertarian?
Caleb Hammer
Yeah.
Aaron
Oh, okay. Is that anti government library?
Caleb Hammer
Like, wait, you don't even know what your political beliefs.
Aaron
I just consider myself independent. I don't like picking a side, to
Stacy
be honest, I don't think we're educated enough to have an opinion.
Caleb Hammer
No.
Aaron
You know what?
Caleb Hammer
Or maybe keep that and don't vote. Yeah, okay. Okay. Yeah. You're buying a lot of kids things. You have a kid?
Stacy
No, but it's for my nephew's birthday. He just turned two.
Caleb Hammer
I don't even care about this anymore.
Stacy
He just turned two.
Caleb Hammer
I'll be honest. That was cool. Quick.
Stacy
Yeah. Oh,
Aaron
Ticket Master.
Stacy
Ticket master.
Caleb Hammer
Okay. Ticket Master.
Stacy
We just.
Caleb Hammer
And Sons of Monsters and Mad Money.
Stacy
We had to see him. Oh, that was so good.
Aaron
That was a fun concert.
Stacy
It was so fun. Oh, my gosh, he killed it.
Caleb Hammer
Reddit.
Stacy
You should have seen his.
Caleb Hammer
I like him as a. I think I like him as a dude. I don't know. We texted a couple times. He almost came on the channel show. Like, I have nothing against them, but you guys are just. Why are you the most stereotypical people ever?
Aaron
Like the whitest kids?
Caleb Hammer
Okay.
Stacy
You didn't say.
Aaron
Oh, fair enough.
Stacy
Also, some of that is probably ever clear.
Caleb Hammer
And I direct. Oh, yeah, I buy direct glasses. That's fine. Listen, that's not the issue.
Aaron
The issue is that where you got these from. Oh, that.
Caleb Hammer
Yeah, yeah, the glasses. That's what she got from the glasses place ways.
Aaron
Thank you.
Caleb Hammer
Okay. $93.89 is your minimum there. $250.73 is your payment.
Aaron
It's very durable. Calculator.
Brandon
Shut up.
Aaron
Fair enough.
Caleb Hammer
Thank you, Vernon. I appreciate you. And that's you. You are you. You. You are my translator here. Because that's exactly what I was thinking. That's. That's exactly what I was thinking. You can also translate my desire to kick his ass if you ever feel like it.
Aaron
I think that's pretty straightforward.
Caleb Hammer
Yes. I would just like to see it happen.
Aaron
Yes, sir.
Caleb Hammer
I did not say that. I did not think that.
Aaron
No, we thought it.
Caleb Hammer
Okay. A car, I think is what I'm seeing here.
Stacy
Yeah.
Caleb Hammer
Of 20,000. It was a 20,000 hour car.
Aaron
Oh, okay. So it's my turn. Yes, it is a Toyota Camry. Search. So 20, 21.
Caleb Hammer
It's not been your turn this entire episode? No.
Brandon
You've been speaking the entire time?
Aaron
Yes.
Brandon
You're retarded.
Caleb Hammer
You're a Toyota Camry.
Aaron
Yes.
Caleb Hammer
How do you feel about the word.
Aaron
I don't give a shit. Words are words, man.
Caleb Hammer
Yeah, he did. No. Okay, okay.
Aaron
You can call me the most up shit you really want. At the end of the day, I could really give a shit how you feel. About me? What I care about?
Caleb Hammer
Could give a shit.
Aaron
No, I don't give a shit. Oh, sorry. I could not give a shit about how you really feel. As long as you're just honest with it. You can call me the most up shit to my face and I'll shake your hand afterwards.
Caleb Hammer
I'm not touching you.
Aaron
Yeah, I don't blame you. I washed my hands though after I pissed, so don't worry.
Caleb Hammer
So you should blame me then about.
Aaron
Wait, what? Why are you talking about washing my hands after?
Stacy
You mean then you know why, like wouldn't he want to shake your hand?
Aaron
Yeah, he doesn't have to shake my hand at the end of the day, but I'll go out and offer you a handshake.
Caleb Hammer
No, no. Well, there you go.
Aaron
See, I love you. So yeah, about the car. Pretty much what happened with that is I got a.
Brandon
Why do you keep saying that you love me? Well, him,
Aaron
but him I desire. Touch?
Stacy
Dude,
Caleb Hammer
you don't have to be with him. You really don't. There are Everett. Apparently not a small town. Lots of other people you went to high school with? If that's the requirement.
Aaron
A lot of gross people there. Example A. I'm from Snohomish at that time. Yeah. Okay, I'll take that. So. Yeah, I got the.
Caleb Hammer
What the. Did you just say I got the car? No, what did you just say? That was. That wasn't English.
Aaron
Yeah, it wasn't gonna make sense.
Stacy
I'm from Snohomish. That's what she said. There's your train.
Caleb Hammer
A different town. Yeah, like we care.
Stacy
No.
Caleb Hammer
Oh my dude.
Aaron
So should I go into the car or do you.
Caleb Hammer
Do you want. Please.
Brandon
Okay, cool.
Aaron
So I had a Hyundai elantra. It was 2016, couple years back that got totaled. Wasn't my fault. Car was parked, someone backed into it, knocked at 10ft. So the insurance policy I had because it was full coverage, Enterprise gave me a loaner. It was the same car I have now. I love that car. Great. Reliable. Went to Enterprise, then put a. Or I got it on a zero down loan because I didn't have the money at the time and still painted off.
Caleb Hammer
Off. Why'd you have to say all that to say you got a zero down loan car?
Aaron
I'm just Lord dumping man. I mean, what do you want me to.
Caleb Hammer
What? It had nothing to do with anything. I don't to tell you about my current car now do I have to tell you about my first car I got from my family?
Aaron
I would have asked how you got it to Be fair.
Caleb Hammer
It wouldn't have started back with my previous cars. I would have just said I went to the dealership and purchased.
Aaron
Is this the part where you translate for him or.
Caleb Hammer
Shut up.
Aaron
Thank you.
Stacy
I don't think that car is worth actually is.
Caleb Hammer
It's worth 19,000. You owe 19,800. So what I would actually do is sell it and borrow 11,000 hours, get a $10,000 car, use the one and pay it off.
Aaron
Do you want a truck?
Caleb Hammer
But honestly, I don't give a. Can I. I don't care. For what it's worth, this actually sucks. The feel. And I think I felt it counted on one hand in the. How many episodes have we uploaded? Over 500. And I can count on one hands people that like, hey, you can do that. But if you don't like. I don't give a. I just don't care if it doesn't work. It's just like I care about you because you're a person. Unfortunately, you're not.
Aaron
Yeah.
Caleb Hammer
So it's just like, okay, you got it. 88%. Sucks for you, man.
Aaron
Yes.
Caleb Hammer
Do something with it.
Aaron
I don't know. I think I got it at 6:30 credit.
Caleb Hammer
I don't care. Is that in another story? Don't, please don't tell me.
Aaron
No, just comment.
Caleb Hammer
When I ask your credit score, is it going to be what your first credit score ever was when you first saw it? Sorry, I'm being mean. Okay, okay, I got to stop. Colton. I'm being mean. I'm sorry.
Aaron
Please keep going.
Caleb Hammer
I'm being mean. Please. Lindsay M. Everyone, audience. I'm sorry, I'm not trying to. You don't know if. Go to. Go to like a. A, like I am a nerd. I'm a. I like going to like the. The board game places that you can like play things. I like that. That's fun. But just go to one, find the most millennial looking individual, sit across from him for an ex for an hour or 30 minutes, which is what I've done right now. And you will. You will understand the feeling that I'm
Aaron
having played you here.
Caleb Hammer
Go shot your face. Who has Wells Fargo?
Stacy
I have Wells Fargo.
Caleb Hammer
Okay. You have a lot of money in there. 5,000. That's good. Well, that. Nope, nope, nope. That's savings. Well, which is. That's good. Well, no, it's not, cuz it went down from 7,500. 2,000.
Stacy
Yeah. To fix my car.
Caleb Hammer
Okay. That is what savings is for. I can appreciate that. But checking went down from 2,400 to 546. And you're getting Mexican food. Steam purchase. You're going to gas station. Getting some. What? Are you going to the gas station getting some.
Stacy
Probably a Celsius.
Caleb Hammer
Yeah, you are. Okay, Brandon was already looking. He knows what's coming. We know what's coming.
Aaron
Right on Q.
Stacy
They're good.
Caleb Hammer
You don't deserve it. No, you know what? No, no, no, no. No flavor for them. Get gamer subs. It's 40 cents a serving. After my discount code, you just ruined it. You were going to get a free tub, which would be 40 cents. Well, actually zero cents a serving because it'd be free. Get your free samples. Use my code.
Aaron
Caleb.
Caleb Hammer
Link in the description below. It's better than energy drinks. Cough. You get nothing.
Aaron
Fair enough.
Caleb Hammer
I might sneak one to you afterwards. Okay, you get nothing.
Aaron
I'll walk away.
Stacy
I appreciate. Okay.
Caleb Hammer
Blazing paddles.
Stacy
Blazing paddles.
Caleb Hammer
Blazing paddles. You can say it again too if you want.
Aaron
Oh, Blazing paddles.
Caleb Hammer
No, not you.
Stacy
I. I don't know what that is. Honestly.
Caleb Hammer
You spent $34 there.
Stacy
I couldn't tell you.
Caleb Hammer
Arcc. Quiet now.
Stacy
Shut up.
Caleb Hammer
Who's.
Stacy
He's just making a dumb joke.
Aaron
Inside joke.
Caleb Hammer
Oh, that's a great place to do it on a podcast with people you don't know in front of millions of people. You are a gem.
Aaron
I thought so too. Eh, depend on depending on your views.
Brandon
How did you.
Aaron
Oh, my mom was on meth when she had me. Oh, yeah, see, there you go.
Caleb Hammer
Collective.
Aaron
Yeah, see, now it makes sense. Yeah. Yeah. Ice was crazy in Hawaii.
Caleb Hammer
Let's move on to getting more bullshit and selling out money and getting more bullshit and half price books. Oh, that's where you're going and making out with your ex. That's great. And going and getting some bullshit. Get into bullshit. McDonald's. Get into bullshit. Pho. Getting some pho. Razzles. Good pho razzles. For $128 of razzles.
Stacy
Razzles. Did we go to Razzles?
Caleb Hammer
What's Razzles? I don't know what it is. What's Razzles?
Aaron
Bar and grill.
Stacy
It's like.
Caleb Hammer
Yeah, well, you spent a lot of money there.
Stacy
That was the night we had our big fight.
Caleb Hammer
Parking.
Stacy
Yeah.
Caleb Hammer
Cookies, I think. Oh, that's where you confess to being a criminal, which we'll never know more about. And it looks likely worse than it is.
Aaron
Hopefully.
Caleb Hammer
Except with you. Maybe not. Maybe it is worse than it looks. Spencer's gifts. Fantastic. Susie. Okay, listen, you're spending a lot of Money on. But I'm just. It's just so much funny. It's so stupid. I'm just. Honestly, I'm just kind of done. Like, I don't. I don't care. I don't like you guys. I mean, you're. Okay. I really don't like you.
Aaron
Fair statement.
Caleb Hammer
Am I. Can I. Okay, I need a vote because I'm going to be actually mean for a second. I need to vote whether or not I should actually be mean because I'm one of those people that doesn't have a filter. But I'm actually filtering myself right now. Now. Which is weird. And I don't like it. So I want permission. Raise your hand if I should be very mean. You have a vessel. Two. Two out of three. Okay. Fuck. Three out of three. Yeah, it was two out of five, then it became three out of five. Okay. So I got the majority support to be mean. I just want to know what it feels like on the side, because I just. I would like to just know. Listen again, I'm all ears. Aaron, if you could just confess. You are surrounded by. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. How does it feel to be surrounded by a room of people that legitimate look down on you and don't like you, which no other guest in this show has ever experienced? How does it feel to actually be hated by everyone in this room right now?
Aaron
I don't really give a shit.
Caleb Hammer
Really?
Aaron
Yeah. Everyone's got views, man.
Caleb Hammer
Like, this isn't views. This is just your personality that people have witnessed. And everyone's been sighing and moaning for an hour and 31 minutes and shaking their heads. And.
Aaron
I mean, no one in here, not even you, obviously, has to like me. I don't care.
Caleb Hammer
I'm just asking how it feels. Nothing knowing.
Aaron
Neutral.
Caleb Hammer
Are you sure you can't reflect on
Aaron
it and try to just, like, reflect on it later? For sure. But, like, right now, just in the moment, I don't really care. If anything, I feel like I have to take a piss, but, you know, I know.
Caleb Hammer
We'll get there. We'll get there.
Brandon
We'll let you drain it.
Aaron
Thank you. Drain the main vein.
Caleb Hammer
What are you gonna say now? It's a floater. Are you gonna say that next?
Aaron
No, but that's a good one.
Caleb Hammer
Oh, not really.
Aaron
You said it. Oh, okay.
Caleb Hammer
I was asking if you're going to do that next.
Aaron
Is this Navy locking in? Yes, that's mine.
Caleb Hammer
Wow, you're spending a lot of money on. And honestly, keep doing that. I don't care.
Aaron
Cool.
Caleb Hammer
Good luck. It's. It's. It's. He's up his entire life. Do any of us give a. I don't think so. It's. It's. It's. It's. Okay. Hammer financial score, go take a piss and go off, and I cannot wait for the posture to be done so I never have to see you again. Oh, like, that's your Hammer financial score. Go yourself.
Aaron
Please go pee.
Caleb Hammer
That's. That's actually a request. Please never be in front of me ever again. Oh, he's tripping. He can't even stand his ponytails out of the way.
Brandon
His ass cracking out.
Caleb Hammer
We're actually going for a second. I know it was. This is pathetic. Please, please, please. Lindsay, Lindsay, Lindsay, Lindsay. Can you please just come sit here for a second, if you may? Colton, can you just come here for a little bit?
Stacy
Yeah.
Caleb Hammer
Can you just go share this mic with me?
Stacy
Fine. Thank you.
Caleb Hammer
Please just sit down for a second. Maybe this is being. Can you.
Aaron
It is.
Caleb Hammer
Can. Should she leave him?
Stacy
How are you feeling? Yes, you should. But how are you feeling?
Caleb Hammer
You know what's gonna happen during the post, right?
Aaron
Oh.
Brandon
Huh?
Caleb Hammer
Yeah.
Stacy
Wait.
Caleb Hammer
Oh, what's happen. Yeah.
Brandon
Oh, what's happening in the post show?
Caleb Hammer
Yeah, I don't.
Stacy
I do.
Caleb Hammer
Okay, but before that. Before that, ladies and gentlemen, I just need to know, should she leave him?
Brandon
Listen, despite looking like I have too much information, despite looking like a bee finished on your chest, you have a lot of really redeeming qualities.
Caleb Hammer
Okay, guys, I'm talking about just for the sake of her.
Stacy
Yes.
Caleb Hammer
Oh, in the post show. Okay, well, he's not here. In the post show. She's gonna puff. What's happening? Happening.
Stacy
Should we say it?
Caleb Hammer
Yeah.
Stacy
I was gonna propose. I was gonna give him a ring.
Caleb Hammer
So this is. This is the moment. This is the moment where we can. This is the moment where we can stop an actual mistake from happening. Please, Lindsay. Girl to girl.
Stacy
Okay, here's the thing. I. 5 months is too soon. And also, please don't do it.
Brandon
Please don't do it too soon with this man.
Stacy
I, I would give it some more time.
Caleb Hammer
Time with this man.
Stacy
I think you're caught up in the moment. Also. I understand that ending one relationship, getting into another relationship can feel healing. I, I. You need more time.
Brandon
You're married.
Stacy
Yeah. Still. Legally. Legally. Well, I was. I was planning on, like, a long engagement.
Caleb Hammer
I've met abusive partners that are better than this man.
Stacy
Here's the thing. Now I feel nervous.
Caleb Hammer
What?
Stacy
Wait, are you gonna do it?
Caleb Hammer
Oh, I don't I am heavily advocating for not being with this guy. He is the most cringe individual I've ever met. And he's miserable to being around. Being around. I'm so happy. He is taking a piss right now.
Stacy
Now I feel like I need one. Oh, my goodness.
Caleb Hammer
Okay. Okay. Let's just say. Because I think people are trying to be a little nice right now, and that's okay. Just. Can we.
Stacy
I can read the room.
Caleb Hammer
Raise your hand and if you think she should not be with him. And I'm going to close.
Stacy
I. I'm not raising my hand. I think you should wait.
Caleb Hammer
Is it just. It's just me and Brandon. Okay. That's split down the middle.
Stacy
Well, I think M raised his hand, too. You're a part of this. You want to come over here? Okay. I think you should wait. I think you should wait to propose. I. I personally, he's not my flavor.
Caleb Hammer
I think he's so kind.
Stacy
I'm being very kind. I think he's obnoxious. Yes. But from a California casting standpoint, I
Caleb Hammer
100 producers love people that I hate, so that's why they raise their hand.
Stacy
Somebody that's gonna yap on camera, they
Caleb Hammer
have to be nice. They have to be nice.
Stacy
No, I just. I see things differently.
Caleb Hammer
Yeah.
Stacy
That's all. I just think it's too soon.
Caleb Hammer
Well, ladies and gentlemen, will it happen? Will it not happen? You'll literally find out if you go and join Hammer Elite right now, because
Stacy
the ring is really tiny. You got him a ring?
Caleb Hammer
Yeah. I'll see you then.
Aaron
There.
Stacy
I'm stressed out right now. I don't know. Why are you stressed?
Caleb Hammer
Well, this is your moment, Stacy.
Stacy
Is he like this in real life? Does he feel the need to fill every bit of silence? Is it all right if I take a second?
Caleb Hammer
Yeah.
Stacy
Okay. Of course.
Caleb Hammer
W. What's up?
Stacy
Oh, no, I just need a moment.
Brandon
That's a really nice way of her saying yourself, dude.
Caleb Hammer
You hold on to her with your dear life.
Aaron
The Powerball every day when I keep her.
Brandon
Because she's the only one that's going to feel that way.
Caleb Hammer
I just launched the brand new Hammer Elite app, available on every major platform. To celebrate the app launch, I'm offering 30 off the annual plan in the month of June only. Plus, I have an exclusive offer just for you. But I'll only have a thousand available to purchase. You'll get lifetime access to the entire Hammer Elite catalog and my Hammer for Life box packed with limited edition merch. Download the Hammer Elite app by using the link in the description or pinned comment down below. This is the best membership you'll ever join, and that's a promise.
Podcast: Financial Audit
Host: Caleb Hammer
Guests: Stacy & Aaron
Date: June 8, 2026
This episode of Financial Audit is billed as an "intervention"—and it lives up to that promise. Caleb meets Stacy, a 25-year-old commercial wallpaper hanger/painter, and Aaron, a 26-year-old maintenance technician. The couple, together for just five months, dive into the messy details of their whirlwind relationship, rapid cohabitation, and entangled finances. What starts as an audit of their money quickly turns into a raw (often uncomfortable) therapy session about trust, lies, cheating, and life choices—all sprinkled with Caleb’s signature unfiltered commentary.
Met at a funeral, hooked up that night, and moved in together within a month.
Why the rush?
Stacy makes $45/hour, often working overtime; Aaron makes $25/hour but gets free housing.
But they're living as a combined household after just five months.
Financial audit shows poor management and mounting debt:
Frequent lying, mutual accusations of cheating, and all-around distrust:
Stacy’s struggles with leaving her ex, plus emotional and physical overlap at the start:
Accusations of cheating, phone snooping, and miscommunication:
Aaron’s persona: “Cringe Lord” Redditor/4chan energy, constant performative joking, self-admitted “loser” in high school.
Brandon, a recurring cast member, tries to "translate" or soften Aaron’s performance and gives advice:
Caleb's harshest critique yet:
On their meet-cute:
On combining finances:
Aaron's self-description:
On their relationship’s fate:
This "Intervention" episode transforms from a financial audit into a full-on relationship and personality dissection. Stacy and Aaron’s situation is a messy tableau of impulsive decisions, mounting debt, codependency, and unresolved baggage—not to mention Aaron’s relentless, self-effacing internet persona that frustrates both the host and audience.
Caleb (and guests) spend most of the episode urging Stacy to pause and reconsider intertwining her life (and finances) any further with Aaron. The pervading tone is a mix of sarcasm, frustration, and genuine concern, as the hosts plead for self-respect and better judgment.
The relationship’s future? Grim, unless both parties address their issues—and seriously slow down.
| Timestamp | Quote | Speaker | |---|---|---| | 05:51 | "What the f*** is wrong with you? That's a mess. No, don't be a delusional." | Caleb | | 06:00 | "Combining finances five months in honeymoon phase. What the f*** is wrong with you?" | Caleb | | 11:33 | "They had a little crossover, but I'm not supposed to say that." | Stacy | | 24:35 | "He had his old roommate come over, looks at you and says, 'Oh, so when are you gonna pay me rent?'... he told me he stopped paying rent two months ago." | Stacy | | 26:36 | "Just these lies for no reason, to look better? Because what a stupid, pointless thing to lie about." | Caleb | | 39:03 | "You accused her of cheating. You had to go through all her Instagram messages, all her text messages, all that." | Caleb | | 59:26 | "Please, please, please leave this man. Stacy, you can do so much better." | Caleb | | 66:12 | "Nobody likes you. I'm so sorry to say this. This is so mean. But nobody likes you." | Caleb | | 87:48 | "How does it feel to be surrounded by...people that legitimate look down on you and don't like you, which no other guest in this show has ever experienced?" | Caleb | | 90:31 | "This is the moment where we can stop an actual mistake from happening." | Caleb (about the proposal plan) |
Summary Judgment:
Stacy, don’t propose.
Aaron, fix your money and your performative approach to life.
Listeners: Don’t mix heartbreak, cohabitation, financial responsibility, and impulsive decisions—especially in five months.