Financial Audit's Biggest Karen

Summary

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Financial Audit Podcast: “Financial Audit's Biggest Karen”

Host: Caleb Hammer
Guest: Emily, 42, Salt Lake City, UT
Date: May 15, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode features Emily, an interior designer from Utah, who candidly lays out her personal finances and life philosophy for Caleb’s trademark scrutiny. With a recurring theme of entitlement and a desire to maintain independence in her marriage, Emily’s spending habits, past bankruptcy, attitude towards money, and the resulting impact on her relationship take center stage. Caleb’s sharp-tongued, sarcastic tone dominates as he challenges her worldview and lifestyle, while memorable, sometimes jaw-dropping moments abound.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Introduction to Emily – Identity, Profession, and Tone Setting

• Emily introduces herself (01:32), immediately clarifying she's "not Mormon and not a lesbian," setting an upfront, tongue-in-cheek tone that continues throughout.
• Caleb jokes about her appearance and leans into the "Karen" stereotype, which becomes a running gag and critique throughout the episode.

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2. Marriage, Money, and Independent Finances

• Emily is in her second marriage (07:41), with strictly separate finances both now (in her seven-year marriage) and in her previous one.
  • Emily: “I want to spend my money the way that I want to spend my money, and he might not be on board with that.” (02:45)
  • Caleb questions what the couple would lose by combining finances and what Emily is afraid of:
    Caleb: “What would happen if you guys were combined? What would happen that you’re just so terrified of?” (04:33)
    Emily: “I probably wouldn’t be able to purchase everything that I want, like my pen collection, my custom perfumes, all my jewelry...” (04:37)
• Caleb notes that her past marriage also featured separate finances, leading to divorce and bankruptcy (03:09).

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3. Entitlement, Spending, and Self-Image

• Emily is unapologetic about her spending on fashion, jewelry, and home goods, frequently framing these as “needs” rather than “wants.”
  • Emily: “I need new clothes. I need new shoes.” (13:21)
    Caleb: “That’s not need. That’s want." (13:23)
  • Emily: "I'm entitled to what I want and to what I like." (27:46)
• Caleb accuses her of lacking accountability and living with sustained entitlement, repeatedly labeling her a “Karen.”
  • Caleb: “You are a Karen.” (00:41)
    “You are the ultimate Karen.” (06:23)

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4. Relationship Dynamics and Financial Communication

• Emily’s husband, Jack, owns their home, with Emily’s name absent due to her bankruptcy prior to marriage (07:52). They operate with no prenup.
• Both Emily and her husband have similar incomes (~$63,000/year each), but only Jack contributes substantially to household overhead—he pays for groceries, pet insurance, the savings buffer, etc. Emily’s contributions are minimal (dog food, grooming, pet expenses).
• Communication about finances is limited, leading to significant financial blind spots:
  • When Jack is brought into the conversation, he’s taken aback to learn Emily has $33,767.23 in debt, much of it accruing high interest and late fees; he previously estimated her debt at about $10k (32:00).
  • Jack stays passive, allowing Emily to spend as she wishes as long as bills are paid, assuming there'd be “some self-restraint there” (31:21).

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5. Debt Breakdown & Spending Habits

• Emily’s debts include credit cards at/above their limits, IRS debt, student loans, personal loans (even one at 24.03% interest for "dream" Star Trek chairs), and various “buy now, pay later” (Affirm, Klarna) balances.
  • Total debt: $33,767.23 (25:03)
  • Retirement savings: Only ~$7,780 (84:38)
  • She’s missed or made minimum payments only, incurring multiple late fees annually.
• Spending patterns show regular purchases on clothes, jewelry, beauty, coffee (frequently Starbucks Frappuccinos from convenience stores), “dream” home goods, dog grooming, DoorDash, and concerts.
  • Caleb: “You just buy shit. Buy shit. Buy shit. Adding everything into the cart doesn't matter because it's cheap. You just get it all the time and then we all know it's cheap. We can tell.” (49:20)
• Emily justifies spending, including a recent $600 concert trip and expensive, nonessential Amazon/Etsy buys, as necessary for her self-image or happiness.

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6. Reflections from Husband Jack & Relationship Tensions

• Jack admits he’s wary of combining finances because Emily would spend them into “living paycheck to paycheck” (38:22).
  • Jack: “If we had a combined bank account, we would be living paycheck to paycheck.”
• Jack had previously bailed Emily out by paying her bankruptcy fees early in their relationship (29:52).
• The couple’s rare attempts at financial alignment (e.g., after Emily took a Dave Ramsey course) devolved into conflict due to her extreme proposal—draining their whole savings to pay off debt (36:49).
• Caleb encourages Jack to at least have full household financial transparency, even if accounts remain separate (39:44).

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7. Critical Confrontations & Self-Awareness

• Caleb presses Emily on her resistance to change. She ultimately admits:
  • Emily: “I guess I haven’t changed because I don’t want to.” (41:07)
  • Caleb erupts: “Then why the are you here?” (41:09)
• Caleb explicitly diagnoses Emily’s life arc as “entitlement enabled by men”—protected by her parents, ex-husband, brother, and current husband, never facing real economic adversity (27:37, 51:08).
• When asked about “hardship,” Emily recounts living in her brother’s basement post-divorce, which Caleb mercilessly mocks as not a real struggle (51:06–51:22).

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8. Budgeting, Solutions, and Prognosis

• Caleb lays out a path: pay off debt (minimums are ~$1,100/mo, including pay-in-fours), avoid further nonessential spending, hold a fuller financial conversation with her husband, and delay any home renovations until retirement savings are adequate.
  • Caleb: "You need $200,000 in retirement at your age before you even contribute a single cent to renovation." (41:40)
  • Realistically, skepticism abounds as to whether Emily will follow through (85:00+).
• Emily’s self-assessed financial score: 4/10
  Caleb’s verdict: 0.5/10, citing overdrafts, minimal savings, no home equity, chronic overspending, and IRS debt (89:56).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Emily, on her entitlement:
  “I am a woman. I deserve to look good and I deserve to do what I want.” (00:33, 25:22)
• Caleb, in peak roast mode:
  “You are the anchor. In a bad way. You're not letting his shit move forward.” (24:37)
  “You are not a good person financially.” (75:06)
• On the cost of her "dream chairs":
  Emily: "I found my dream chairs."
  Caleb: “What is a dream chair?”
  Emily: “It's the suspension chair from Star Trek the Next Generation.” (73:32)
• Emily, on her “struggles”:
  “I figured it out by moving in with [my brother].” (50:30)
• On overdrafts and accountability:
  Caleb: “Last year you had 17 overdrafts on here. You Karen freak. Failure.” (82:29)
• On not changing:
  Emily: “I can change.”
  Caleb: “Then why haven't you?”
  Emily: “I guess I haven't changed because I don't want to.” (41:00–41:07)

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Important Timestamps

• 00:33 – 04:42: Emily’s intro; Karen persona established
• 07:41 – 13:35: Discussion of marital finances, fears, her past bankruptcy
• 24:11 – 27:46: Entitlement, “needs” vs. “wants,” critique of accountability
• 29:00 – 39:45: Husband Jack joins by phone, learning of real debt levels
• 46:12 – 57:48: Delving into late fees, debt, Buy Now Pay Later (BNPL) abuses
• 62:59 – 64:45: Spending breakdown, BNPL, splurges—Star Trek chairs, concerts, coffees
• 74:00 – 76:32: “Dream chairs” and absurd personal loan
• 84:38 – 85:00+: Retirement savings revealed, budgeting attempt, skepticism

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Tone and Style

• Caleb’s style: Aggressively direct, sarcastic, occasionally crass, but relentless in his pursuit of accountability and a realistic solution.
• Emily: Defensive, candid, humorous, with self-awareness that stops short of true responsibility.

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Takeaways for Listeners

• The dangers of unchecked spending, poorly separated finances in marriage, and living in denial about one’s debt are on full display.
• Transparency, honest reflection, and true behavioral change are essential for sustainable financial health in a relationship.
• Caleb’s episode makes a compelling (and highly entertaining) case study in financial enablement, entitlement, and the perils of chasing lifestyle goals on debt.

Transcript

[A]

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[C]

I am a woman. I deserve to look good and I deserve to do what I want and

[A]

I have to do with being a woman.

[C]

I'm entitled to what I want and to what I like.

[A]

You are a Karen.

[C]

Well, if they need to be destroyed, then I will destroy them.

[A]

I know for a fact this is your second marriage and the first marriage. The finances were completely separate as well. So maybe we shouldn't head down the same path again.

[C]

Maybe it's okay because I can still spend however much money I want and he doesn't have to say anything about it.

[A]

Definitely sounds like you're the one. I'll be honest.

[C]

You.

[A]

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[C]

Hi, I'm Emily. I'm 42 years old. I'm from Salt Lake City, Utah, and I'm not Mormon and I'm not a lesbian. And this is financial audit.

[A]

Well, you could have convinced us on the second one.

[C]

Excuse me?

[A]

Oh, I mean, it's the.

[C]

It's the hair.

[A]

It's the hair. Why? Why they keep the Mormons away?

[C]

Well, yeah, you got to.

[A]

Okay, first of all, I wasn't actually expecting to bring up lesbianism. I was expected to bring up Mormonism, but. But I'm glad you brought them both up for me, so I appreciate that. Well, thanks for coming down. What do you do up there for a living? 42. Happy birthday, by the way. Your day of birth.

[C]

I am an interior designer.

[A]

Cool. What do you make?

[C]

I make $63,000 a year.

[A]

Dude, Salt Lake's expensive.

[C]

It is.

[A]

Is this a loan? 62.

[C]

That is by myself. I am married, but our finances are totally separate.

[A]

Why? Are you married? To a Mormon? No, to a lesbian.

[C]

Well, he could be considered a lesbian.

[A]

I don't think that's how that works. So why is it separate? How long have you guys been married?

[C]

We've been married for seven years.

[A]

Why are you guys separate?

[C]

Because, I mean, I want to spend my money the way that I want to spend my money, and he might not be on board with that.

[A]

Yeah, but what about like, self goals, like. Or goals that we have as a couple, Goals that we want to get to together. Buying houses.

[C]

We are.

[A]

Retirement, all that good stuff. Vacations.

[C]

I mean, she owns our home.

[A]

I know for a fact this is your second marriage. In the first marriage, the finances were completely separate as well. So maybe we shouldn't head down the same path again.

[C]

Um, maybe it's okay because I can still spend however much money I want and he doesn't have to say anything about it.

[A]

Okay, then why the are you here if you just want to spend all the money that you want?

[C]

Well, I want to be able to spend the money on my house eventually, so.

[A]

Eventually? You guys don't have a house?

[C]

No, we do have a house.

[A]

You have a house. What is eventually then? What are you saying? Eventually. Trying to spend money eventually. What's eventually?

[C]

Eventually is in a couple years when I have enough money to redo it.

[A]

You want to fully redo the house, so you pay to redo the house. But then you guys split the equity in event of a divorce.

[C]

Well, we're not getting divorced, so it'll be fine.

[A]

Yeah, that didn't work the first time.

[C]

Well, he was an asshole.

[A]

This one's better is what everyone says until they divorce, and then everyone they divorce was an asshole.

[C]

Well, that's true, I guess, but he's not an asshole. He's great. So it's going to be fine.

[A]

And you have an odd voice. You almost sound like a voice actor or something.

[C]

Really?

[A]

Yeah. Doesn't she sound like an actor?

[C]

A little bit? I'm not a voice actor.

[A]

This is just how you sound?

[C]

Yes. Is my voice high?

[A]

Is that what it is? It's weird.

[C]

I don't know. Because I don't hear my voice the way you hear it.

[A]

No, if this is how you sound, it's how you sound. It's just odd. It just sounds like you're like an

[C]

actor because never wanted to be an actor.

[A]

So what would happen if you guys were combined? What would happen that you're just so terrified of?

[C]

If we were combined, I probably wouldn't be able to purchase everything that I want, like my pen collection, my custom perfumes, all my jewelry. So I just kind of have to.

[A]

He doesn't buy you shit. He doesn't gift you shit.

[C]

Well, he has a lot of money.

[A]

You don't get jewelry. Is all his debt. Years.

[C]

All this debt is mine? Yes.

[A]

I'm not seeing his debt. I'm not seeing his finances, because it's all separate. Why are you getting jewelry? Why are you getting jewelry if you have a shit ton of debt and it's all yours?

[C]

What? Well, because I have to look good. I have to, you know, live it up for my life.

[A]

Well, failed. You got that haircut and you wore that shirt.

[C]

Excuse me. This is very fashionable, and my haircut is beautiful, so.

[A]

Yeah, every woman's beautiful. 2026. There's definitely no ugly people out there.

[C]

Oh, there's some ugly people. I'm just not that one of them.

[A]

Okay. You could look fine.

[C]

I do look fine.

[A]

Well, you have, like, the haircut of a crow. Like, it's.

[C]

I think it's beautiful. So I'm growing it out, and the

[A]

women in the comments will agree, even though it just can't be. You're just like. You would shut down an event that is slightly too loud for your ears, Karen.

[C]

Excuse me?

[A]

No, come on. You show up to the school board meetings.

[C]

Well, if I had a child, yes, I would.

[A]

Ah, HOA queen.

[C]

I love going to the HOA meetings because.

[A]

Do you really? Oh, I do.

[C]

It's really nice.

[A]

Is that why you have such a fake voice? Cause you're like, a fake person and you just destroy all the lives around you?

[C]

Well, if they need to be destroyed, then I will destroy them.

[A]

Actually. Actually, why would someone's life need to be destroyed?

[C]

Well, if they're annoying.

[A]

Just annoyance.

[C]

Why not?

[A]

And I go after people if they come after me, but other than that, I don't just like, why you just go. Actually, you are a Karen. You're Karen, Chief.

[C]

Oh, my goodness.

[A]

You're the ultimate Karen.

[C]

I. I mean, if that's your opinion,

[A]

show up to the hoa. I don't think any of us knew this, but we were just thinking you look like a Karen, but then you actually are with how you do things.

[C]

I don't think so. I mean, if people deserve something, they deserve it.

[A]

Do you think you enjoy going to the HOA and you like destroying people's? Lives. You're kind of a Karen.

[C]

That's your opinion.

[A]

That's everyone's opinion.

[C]

Well, they can think what they want.

[A]

Okay. Okay. Well, at least you're wearing the wedding ring. So you guys are just fully keeping the finances separate. You think he's too domineering? He wouldn't let you get that shit. He wouldn't let you. You get the bronze. Is that what that is? Cause that ain't gold.

[C]

These are brass.

[A]

Okay? Even better brass.

[C]

It's beautiful.

[A]

Yeah, you got a part of a trumpet on your ear. So, I mean, maybe you should have him intervene if this is what it results in without his interference.

[C]

I think that I look great.

[A]

So we've heard that.

[C]

I don't think that he needs to interfere with anything.

[A]

Okay, so that's your big fear? If you guys combine, none of the upsides. If you guys combine, you're the one that prevents you guys being combined. I'm taking it based on your language and how you present yourself.

[C]

Well, I mean, I guess we've never really had a full conversation about it, but I'm good being on my own like that.

[A]

So, full conversation. What does it look like over the last seven years, financial conversations in general, then?

[C]

Well, the initial conversation was, oh, my goodness.

[A]

He owns the home. He owns the home. You're not a part of this.

[C]

No, he owns the home.

[A]

He owns it. He bought the home.

[C]

Yes, well, because I. You moved in, filed for bankruptcies, so we didn't want to put me on that because of the interest rate.

[A]

Yeah, that's someone who should have their finances completely separate. I mean, I guess I would own my finances separate from the crazy lady down the street that keeps getting bankruptcy.

[C]

Keeps getting only once.

[A]

Okay, so you're not entitled. You're not on the mortgage. Who knows what's in this? Is there a prenup?

[C]

No.

[A]

He didn't make you sign a prenup. You sign. What does he do for work?

[C]

He works in the medical field. He's a medical assistant. And he making what? About the same as I am? 63,65,000 a year.

[A]

Now, is it he doesn't trust to combine finances with you, or you don't want to combine finances with him? Which one has it been throughout the years? Let's be honest, okay?

[C]

I don't want to combine finances with him.

[A]

Listen, it would make sense that he wouldn't want to with you because you're you. And I think we're already getting in the first nine minutes what that looks like, but also, I feel like, you would almost want to combine finances with him. Like, you'd be in a better place. You wouldn't go to bankruptcy. And look where you are. Look where you are from bankruptcy. You're from your previous bankruptcy. Still, you didn't improve yourself at all. You didn't learn anything. You're on financial audit. You're okay.

[C]

I am not. Totally.

[A]

I mean, you are totally okay.

[C]

I disagree with you, but okay. I mean, I can come back from this. Now that I'm making more money, things are going to be great. So.

[A]

Yeah. Honestly, with your household income, though, you guys would have nice things. That's what I am trying to say. It's a great household income. Even in a high cost of living area, you guys do incredibly combine. You start paying off debt, you have an emergency fund. Then you guys can actually live a really luxury, not like crazy luxurious life, but actually a really nice life with lots of nice things. Actual nice things. Like, you can get gold.

[C]

Brass is just like, the look. So I don't need gold look. Beautiful.

[A]

Your look, my look, your looks. I think you have put them on display for everyone to see. And I'm gonna let that stand as it is.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Okay. So you think he'd be preventing you from getting into that lifestyle, getting into those nice things? Cause you guys would pay off debt?

[C]

Yes, but he might not agree with me when I want to purchase, let's say, say, a $10,000 sectional. So if our finances are separate and I can pay for it.

[A]

Isn't that what a marriage is about, though? You figure out what is actually what you guys can compromise on. What is a good, healthy purchase that you guys can agree upon? The fact is, I'm actually kind of concerned for this guy because you're going to be holding him back. He's going to have to subsidize your entire retirement. Subsidize the house? Do you pay them for the mortgage at all?

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Really?

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Okay. What hits your account on a monthly basis?

[C]

On a monthly basis?

[A]

On a monthly basis, 4,000. Yeah. By the way, at 42, your retirement's a complete joke. So he will be subsidizing you. Absolutely. So you can go blow your money on sectionals. That's why we work together as a couple. Why is this the one thing we don't? The thing that affects everything? Money, unfortunately. Welcome to not only capitalism, but even communism. It affects everything. It really does. He's gonna be subsidizing you your entire life.

[C]

Well, he can take care of me because he's the husband.

[A]

Okay. Is that how we view our relationship? Does he know how much he's going to have to take care of you?

[C]

Well, he wants to, so, yeah.

[A]

Does he want to? Tens of thousands. Hundreds of thousands of debt, potentially, by the time we retire. Which is based on your history. Bankruptcy. He wants to take care of that or just take care of you? As in, like. Yeah, provide for the house?

[C]

Well, he provides for the house, so he.

[A]

No, that's what he thinks I'm talking about. Eventually. You keep putting this off. You keep fucking around, spending all this money on all this shit.

[C]

It'll be fine.

[A]

How old is he?

[C]

46.

[A]

Is there life insurance?

[C]

Yes.

[A]

And what does that look like? Well, you'll just up if you get a big pile of cash.

[C]

I don't know what the life insurance looks like exactly, but I will get money if he passes away.

[A]

Yeah, but enough for you to survive, though.

[C]

Enough for me to. I mean, I could pay off the house and just at least not have that to worry about.

[A]

So 4,000 hours is what comes in? Kind of. It was 3,800. Let's call it four. Okay, very good. What was your spending? What Was your outflow?

[C]

3000.

[A]

4300. So if you keep going down that path and then you need to rely on him for your entire life afterwards, it's not him just putting food on the table, keeping a roof over the head. It's taking care of all your debt because you know you would have to settle it. If you die and any assets are in your name. Who knows what's going to happen with the mortgage by the time you guys. You know, maybe you get on the title and whatnot at some point. I don't know. The shit gets so complicated with marriage and debt and having to settle debts in order to protect assets. You're over. Well, you have nothing in retirement. All for your selfish desire to never have to talk about a purchase in a marriage that's. You guys are in this together. You guys are in life together. You need to be able to have a conversation together. You just. Karen, steamrolling over everyone around you, including your husband, is an incredibly selfish way to live.

[C]

I just need to have the things that I want.

[A]

I need. No, you don't. You don't need. You want the things that you want. Shut the up. Need? You've never heard of need? You don't know what a need is. You don't know what a need is, so stop. Okay? What do you need? What do you need?

[C]

I need new clothes. I need new shoes.

[A]

That's not need. That's want.

[C]

Well, I mean, I need to look a certain way for my job.

[A]

What's your job? Cause this, right? What. What the even is this? I don't even know what this is.

[C]

I'm an interior designer and I.

[A]

This is interior designing clothes. This is interior designing clothes. I thought you were fucking, like, 80s Taco Bell. I thought you were the seat people were sitting on.

[C]

Excuse me. This is beautiful and fun and vibrant, and I like.

[A]

Stop thinking. Stop thinking fun. What's fun to you? Dude, You're a Karen. You shut down literally loud noises. You like going to HOA meetings. You are not fun. What fun? What's the fun? Your fun is telling people that their grade of grass is slightly too high and finding them. That's your fun. Walking around the neighborhood with just, like, binoculars in everyone's yard.

[C]

You wouldn't understand fashion. Clearly. And your new money. So you don't understand.

[A]

Are you old money? You're no money. You're debt. You're bankruptcy. What are you talking about, new money?

[C]

I have certain intel.

[A]

Oh, shut the.

[C]

Expect certain things.

[A]

What. What do they expect?

[C]

They also look a certain way and have a certain sense of fashion, and I.

[A]

What? What is that sense?

[C]

I look amazing. What is your sense of fashion? Clearly nothing.

[A]

I think this is okay.

[C]

I mean. Okay.

[A]

It's okay. I mean, I'm not. But I'm not saying I look incredible. You are. Is there someone with a fashion sense here? Who. Who's our fashion, like, our fashion aficionado? Okay, can we call in our favorite Mexican, Josh? I need him to suss you out because. What the are you talking about, dude? I don't think you. If this is what they're doing in Utah.

[C]

No, people in Utah are. No, they don't know what they're doing.

[A]

Brandon said you look like an Easter egg.

[C]

An Easter egg. I mean, I can see it, but a sexy Easter egg?

[A]

Okay, I am a woman.

[C]

I deserve to look good, and I deserve to do what I want and I deserve.

[A]

Does that have to do with being a woman? You deserve to look good. Everyone deserves to look good. Whether or not you do has nothing to do with your gender. You don't look good and you don't. You're not entitled to looking good because you're a woman. Shut the with that. What is that, some 2016? No, you're a woman. Congratulations. Yippee. You're equal to me. Yippee. That's what we try to do in this world, by the way. Instead of putting you on a Weird pedestal, by the way. And number two, not entitled to looking good. It's just however you present yourself is how you ever. You present yourself and then you look good or don't. I don't know. Josh, come on over. Favorite Mexican.

[C]

She's a. Hi, Josh. Nice to meet you.

[A]

Now let's see if Josh is willing to be real or if he is going to just be nice for the sake of nice. Here's the thing. She's an interior designer and she says they expect a certain thing her clients. And that is high fashion and looking really nice. And this is what she looks like. So please evaluate. I think you look great. Oh, off. No, look, I think whenever you have someone coming in, you probably have a specific clientele that's for your work. What is this clientele? It's probably want something a little bit more vibrant, a little maybe a little exotic. Maybe the type, the Miami type that she's in Salt Lake City. Oh, I would imagine. Okay. I would imagine maybe something a little bit more vanilla, a little bit more like beige. A little more. You know what I mean.

[C]

The majority of people in Utah are a little bit more vanilla and beige. But my clientele is the higher end clientele. They do want specific.

[A]

Doesn't she sound fake? Doesn't that.

[C]

They do want specific.

[A]

So I'm looking at UGC creators right now and you would be a good fit, not a bad thing. You have the ability to sell. What about the literal Karen haircut? She will destroy someone's life. It's not a traditional Karen haircut.

[C]

See, it's not traditional.

[A]

As Josh said, the Karen haircut is John and Kate plus eight. You remember Kate?

[C]

Yes, yes.

[A]

Like this soccer mom.

[C]

It's like way more a line shorter than that.

[A]

Of course, your brain always goes back to soccer. No, John and Kate plus. Get out of here. Caleb. What's your fashion sense like? I don't know this. For now, I'm evolving. Look, we can all work on our own things. We're all working on our own things. Yeah. Is this bad? No. I remember how you used to dress. Exactly. That's what I'm saying. Like I do cut back to an old episode. Okay. Well, I mean I can tell you where it's going right now. And to answer the question that I asked you again, 2072 came in. You've done 300 improvement. Who's better here on the current wear?

[C]

Check out my shoes.

[A]

These were 600 a piece. I do like your shoes. Yeah, you're doing something right. I. I think the whole yeah.

[C]

Excuse me. These ones are much better.

[A]

Oh, they are kind of cool. I see the vibe. Caleb, you're doing a good thing. Who's better in terms of what though? Fashion. I like how she's representing her personality. Go play your soccer. Go play your soccer. Bye, Caleb. Yeah, go yourself.

[C]

Thank you.

[A]

Wait, Lindsay's telling me right now that he doesn't trust you to combine finances. Why'd you say earlier that it was you not wanting to combine finances? She's saying specifically he doesn't want to.

[C]

Well, I mean, I think it's both.

[A]

Oh, trying to look good right now. She says from all the pre interview, it's him.

[C]

I mean, maybe it's him that he doesn't.

[A]

Why?

[C]

Why? Well, because, I mean, he had to pay for my bankruptcy when we first got together.

[A]

What? Right. When you immediately got together. This dude. He's not a wealthy man, is he? That's why. Okay, I understand. I get it. Okay. He didn't. Okay, limited options.

[C]

He loves me.

[A]

Gotcha. Yes. It must be love. It has to be love.

[C]

It's love.

[A]

There was. Cause it's. He certainly wasn't simping. I wouldn't. I wouldn't get it. I wouldn't understand. Let me see what this man looks like. He won't be on screen. I just need to see what this guy looks like. There has to be something going on here. Am I reading this weird? Is this just me? Am I. I don't think I'm that. Am I not that guy?

[C]

There we are together. Oh, for his birthday.

[A]

Oh, you're both weird. Oh, he's tattooed everywhere.

[C]

He is.

[A]

And he's rocking that 2012 hipster mustache. Yeah, I told him to grab a

[C]

mustache and he did it for me.

[A]

Oh, why is he simping? I'm confused. He actually looks like he could pull some weight. And I don't mean that literally because obviously he is already doing that. But I mean, wait, outside of a better looking. Okay, so he had to pay for it immediately when you guys met?

[C]

Well, within like six months, I think.

[A]

That's crazy. That's thousands.

[C]

No, I think a couple thousand.

[A]

Well, I think that it's fair that he would refuse to combine finances with you. Not that you're necessarily advocating for it because you want to be reckless with no punishment whatsoever, no responsibility, no accountability at all.

[C]

There is accountability. I mean, at least I get him gifts too.

[A]

A little gift here and there is not going to make or break life. I don't know what gift is. I mean, you're talking about what did you say you want to spend 10,000 on a remodel? 20,000. Like that's not a gift. You know, that's different. A little notebook or a little cute thing Is that bringing flowers home isn't going to make or break someone's life. Especially in your guys's financial situation. If you guys weren't completely already. Which at least you are. I don't know if he is. This isn't about him. But it is about the current situation you see yourself in. But you. You told the producer that you do not ask him about his finances because you're afraid of him asking about yours. You're just trying to hide. You're just trying to skate by and just hope nothing happens. Skirt by whatever it is and then he's gonna bail you out. Did you have a few thousand dollars in retirement that is going to hurt him? Him not knowing? Because what the is the future going to look like? What is it going to look like? You only have a few thousand dollars. You just turned 42 today. Again, congratulations on that one.

[C]

Thank you.

[A]

Drowning in student loans with massive interest rates. I see it on the show all the time. People get a loan to advance their careers only to be left with sky high interest rates and crazy minimums that leave their paycheck gutted. Maybe you've already gone to a normal lender to try to refinance your private student loans and they looked at your less than perfect credit score and hung up the phone. Maybe part of you even thought, yeah, that tracks. I guess I'm stuck. Stop it. You don't deserve to be buried in a high interest loan for the rest of your life because you hit a rough patch. The banks aren't rejecting you because you're a lost cause. They're rejecting you because you're not profitable enough for them at a manageable rate. That's where why Refi comes in. Why Refi works specifically with borrowers who can't get refinancing through traditional lenders. It's their whole thing. They refinance private student loans so you're only paying interest between 0.1% and 5.99%. And they legally cannot charge you more than that. They'll even customize your payments to get you out of debt at a pace that works for you. And if you need a co borrower release from your loan, they've got a program for that too. Plus their team is in Phoenix, Arizona. So when you call them, you talk to a real person. It only takes three minutes to check your rates. And it doesn't impact your credit score. If you've been told no a million times, try why refi? Head to why refi.com hammer that is yrefy.com hammer or call 888 yrefi78 that is 888-yrefi78. Break free from the high interest trap and get your finances under control once and for all. You suck with money. So you download a budgeting app. You start with the classic one ynab, but everyone just deletes it because it's way too complicated to use. So you go to everydollar. That's Dave Ramsey, the personal finance guy, right? Well, they're gonna force you to use it his way. That's not very personal finances. Rocket Money. They got a lot of commercials, but they're owned by Rocket Mortgage. Guess what? They want to sell you in the end. Then there's the new guy on the block, Monarch. Hundreds of millions of dollars of private equity raising so far. But private equity doesn't have the best track record when it comes to private data. That's why I like dollar wise bills. Play these people just like you for people just like you. No private equity, no gimmicks. Just the best budgeting app there is. Download it now. Start the free trial Dollarwise.com link in the description below. Like him. Not knowing that and knowing your entire debt situation, which is substantially larger than your retirement, is actually really scary. And it is selfish of you to just sit here and pretend like you get to prioritize anything you want instead of actually being able to pull a weight in other ways. Non physically.

[C]

I'm far from selfish. I'm so you are.

[A]

In this relationship financially. In this relationship financially, you are selfish. You have no retirement yet you want to spend on a renovation that you want.

[C]

I have a little bit of retirement.

[A]

I said a few thousand dollars at 42 is nothing. Shut the up. It's practically nothing. That compound growth by the time two decades from now is going to be nothing. Social Security. Good luck. It's going to be pennies on the dollar.

[C]

Well, who knows? I might be dead by then if he's lucky.

[A]

But outside of that, it's just you holding him down. You're the weight. You're the anchor. In a bad way. You're not letting his shit move forward.

[C]

I disagree.

[A]

You disagree? What's your argument? You disagree?

[C]

I'll be able to make up more money and I'll be able to get it.

[A]

How do you make up more money? What does this make more money? Because if that was actually how things would work seven years ago and you went through bankruptcy, it wouldn't be tens of thousand dollars of bad debt.

[C]

Tens of thousands.

[A]

Tens of thousands, asshole. How much debt do you think you have?

[C]

Like maybe 18,000.

[A]

Okay, it's $33,767.23. You have no idea what you're talking about. Shut the fuck up. You'll be taking that shit that's not forgivable. Like student loans, by the way, too, which is a few thousand hours alone. Like, good luck that's not going to be brain corruption. $9,000 in IRS debt. Wait, what the 9,000? What are you doing? Oh, my. This poor guy. And what's his insight into this? It can't be much. Cause you didn't even know your number. You said 13,000.

[C]

I said 18.

[A]

Okay, so you wouldn't be able to answer a question truthfully even if he did ask, even though you're trying to prevent him from asking. Oh, he should be here. He should be here. We need to send this directly to him when this is uploaded. He needs to know that he is in a precarious situation.

[C]

He doesn't need to watch this episode.

[A]

He actually very much needs to watch this episode.

[C]

No.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Everything is going to work out.

[A]

Call him.

[C]

You want me to call him?

[A]

Call him. Oh. 200,000 hours on a renovation, not 10. What the. Am I saying 200,000? You literally have 7,000 in retirement. What a joke. When you have over $30,000, you have more in IRS debt than you have in retirement.

[C]

Well, that is not my fault.

[A]

Well, I'm sure we'll get there. I'm sure it absolutely was. Cancel that off. What do I do? Will he call us back?

[C]

Yes. Okay.

[A]

All right. He's gonna call us back because he's in the middle of a medical thing, which I don't like when people die, so I think he should make sure they stay alive.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

So you endlessly have been nothing but irresponsible, and you're taking him fully down with you. And you did not change. Why did you not change or learn about anything from your previous bankruptcy seven years ago? Because look where you are. You didn't even know your debt situation, and you spend more than you make today. Today, Today, right now, happening here.

[C]

Well, I need to have certain things, like I said.

[A]

Okay, well, stop with that shit. I'm asking. Stop with that shit. I am asking why you did not change your beh. You went through bankruptcy. It's because you didn't pay for it's because you faced no consequences. He went and bought a house. You get to live in a nice house now he went and takes care of everything. You don't have to deal with anything. You're an immature little brat.

[C]

I am not. I.

[A]

You are absolutely. You didn't have to deal with the consequences of all your bankruptcy. You didn't even pay for your own bankruptcy. He did. Your entitled your entire life. Entitled.

[C]

I'm entitled to what I want and to what I like.

[A]

But you shouldn't be. That's horrendous. How long were you single in between your divorce and this new man?

[C]

Two years.

[A]

How'd those go? Well, obviously that led to a bankruptcy. Yes. Sake. Oh, guys, are we getting the picture now? Are we getting the picture from Karen Beast? Well, I. Oh, I get it. So the man took care of you your entire life. Parents, daddy, then man, then the one moment you were alone for two whole years, you accumulated so much, so much debt and shit to sustain your lifestyle that you thought you were entitled to, but you were no longer being enabled that you ended up in a financial situation where you had no way out other than bankruptcy. And then a guy came in, enabled you again, fed into your entitlement and didn't even allow you to face any consequences or any bruises from your bankruptcy. Meaning you learned nothing. You're doing it for the third time all over again. Second relationship and then one where you're single going through bankruptcy. I see the picture now. You have literally. And I still don't know how I'm not seeing it, but.

[C]

Okay, here, let's talk to him.

[A]

Mister.

[B]

Hello. How are you today, sir?

[A]

Hi. Thank you for keeping that patient alive for everyone.

[B]

Oh, anytime. Sorry that took so long.

[A]

So why did you bail her out right when you guys met? By taking care of this bankruptcy, allowing her to experience any kind of difficulties whatsoever from her previous previous mistakes.

[B]

Reason why I did the bankruptcy or why we paid for the bankruptcy?

[A]

You did. You bailed her out. The, the, the ex husband was fully taking care of her, supporting her and enabling her entitlements. And then the two years that she was on her own in between, she loaded up her debt so bad because of her feeling of entitled to a certain lifestyle that you came in and bailed her out. And now she's building it all back again because she learned nothing. Why would you do that? Do that?

[B]

Because we were buying a house. And if we would have bought the house while we were married, basically they would have looked at the bankruptcy and be like, oh, well, you could refinance on this loan or it would have given us a worse interest rate than we would what we already had.

[A]

Yeah, but why did you pay for the bankruptcy?

[B]

That's a good question.

[A]

You bailed her out immediately six months into this relationship?

[B]

I wasn't.

[A]

Six months. That's what she said.

[B]

No, we were. When was that? That was September of 19, if my

[A]

memory serves me right. Is that a year into the relationship?

[C]

About a year then.

[B]

Yeah, about a year and a half even.

[A]

Still, dating someone for a year, paying for their bankruptcy is pretty intense. That's quick moving. And also when she was building up all this debt and everything, she was living in her brother's basement. It's not like she could use the excuse of oh, no, she lost her man or whatever. Meaning she lost her roof. No, she had a free place to live in a basement and she still fucked it all up and got bailed out. I feel like with her, we're just enabling. No, because look where she is today. Yeah. Are you okay with it? What are we simping for? We're simping for something.

[B]

Well, here's the thing, right? I've always, and I've always told her to begin with, as long as we pay the mortgage and as long as the bills are paid, she could do whatever she wants.

[A]

What?

[B]

Which one would suspect there would be some self restraint there?

[A]

What would you say? You can do whatever we want as long as we take care of the bill. Where would that lead to? Any self restraint? That actually sounds like the opposite. Well, yeah, Mr. Jack, how much debt do you think she has?

[B]

Well, I know almost four shields on the car, but other than that, I don't know.

[A]

Okay, so what would you just guess? Gut

[B]

$10,000.

[A]

Dude, you're carrying her to her fucking grave because she's never gonna be able to contribute to this house when you guys retire. She has $33,767.23 of bad debt, including IRS debt. And also, what do you think's in her retirement? Because you guys need to be able to retire together, it can't just be you. What do you think's in her retirement?

[B]

Oh, right now, probably nothing.

[A]

Yeah, it's a few thousand bucks. She has more in IRS debt than retirement. Meaning because of this and. And absolute enablement and no consequences for her actions and no learning from her previous mistakes, because of that, she is gonna be like little cracks in a sinking ship. As you guys are headed towards retirement, how are you gonna be able to keep this ship afloat? How are you going to be able to do that? How are you gonna be able to take care of this household in retirement in a couple decades? Cause it doesn't make any sense. She's literally making it so she can not only contribute nothing, but will have liabilities hanging over her head.

[B]

That's a damn good question. I didn't realize she was in that much debt.

[A]

Dude, I know you love her. I'm not saying there's no love here. There has to be something. Because I'm seeing there has to be something and I'm assuming that is love. But dude, love cannot blind you from reality. And this Karen is literally, literally holding this marriage down, not letting it go to any towards any semblance of financial success. Just paying our marriage, our mortgage alone is not an indicator of good finances. It's not. It's the whole picture. And she's blowing all the money. She wants to spend $200,000 renovating this house.

[B]

Yeah, I think that's garbage.

[A]

Yeah, that is garbage. Tell me about it. Tell me how these conversations have gone, because I don't know how she's financing that exactly.

[B]

Well, she has these ideas about what she wants to do for the house, but then she says, oh, this is five, 10 years down the road.

[A]

But five, 10 years down the road from the previous bankruptcy is $32,000 in bad debt, spending more than she makes a month by hundreds of dollars and having nothing in retirement. So where in the next five to ten years is she going to have $200,000 for this house?

[B]

Exactly. When she starts talking about it, I commend her for the ideas because it's good to have dreams, it's good to have imagination. It really is. And maybe we might be able to do it, maybe we won't be able to do it.

[A]

Do you think you might just be too passive? Because I think this is why she's kind of uncontrollable right now. Maybe loving doesn't mean enabling bad behavior. I know you love. No one is questioning the love here. We really aren't. And I am not questioning for a single second that she loves you. That doesn't mean we just roll over and we be passive to bad behavior. Especially if it might. The relationship finances are one of the leading causes of her divorce in this country. We already know she's able to go through divorces. I want your guys marriage to work. That means the finances need to work within this marriage. And just rolling over and say, that's a good idea and that's a good dream. Well, that's allowing her to accept that maybe it actually is a possibility in five years. But there's no chance. 200,000 hours into a renovation when she has almost $0 in retirement at 42 is not a thing that's even remotely acceptable. She needs to get to a couple hundred thousand dollars today in retirement.

[B]

No, I agree with you.

[A]

So we can't just roll over. We can't. Do you ever. Do you stand up in this relationship financially? Do you stand up ever?

[B]

Yes, I do.

[A]

What does that look like when you stand up?

[B]

Turns into a fight.

[A]

Tell me, tell me. Give me like an example of what that looks like. I want some insight.

[B]

When was the last time that we fought? It's been a little while.

[A]

Is it because you guys put it off because you know it turns into a fight so we just allow things to happen? No, no.

[B]

There was one fight last year about finances because she took a financial freedom class that was offered through our church and about how paying off. Go ahead.

[A]

No, no, sorry, continue.

[B]

And it was about paying off debt as quickly as possible.

[A]

Sounds like Ramsey's program, right? Sounds like, yeah. Okay, so she's a David Ramseth fan. Okay. We love that. Because that's usually offered through churches. She certainly hasn't followed that. Looking at these. Listen, that's actually a pretty good program. That's not invalid expenditure if it actually improves life. Same with our educational programs. There's good things out there. But you got angry at that.

[B]

Well, there was one day that she wanted me to drain the savings account to pay off debt. And I said, absolutely not.

[A]

Probably down to $1,000.

[B]

Exactly. And because that's, that's not just our money as well, but it's also kind of a rainy day fund. If one of the cars breaks, if one of the dogs needs to go have emergency surgery, if there's something with the house that our house warranty doesn't cover.

[A]

And this is why you guys having separate finances and not communicating on what the whole financial picture of the house is, did not work. It failed because she wanted to go nuclear in a full direction without even having a conversation with you first. Dave Ramsey's program, our financial program, anyone's financial program, does not work unless you guys are fully aligned, hand in hand, ready to go into battle. But you weren't aligned at all. You didn't hear the messaging, the preaching about the thousand dollars and all this stuff. And I disagree with that as well. I don't think that's enough. I think you need a one month emergency fund or highest deduction but either way. But either way, she. She can't crusade into this without you. It doesn't work like that. You guys have to be on the same page, which means you guys actually need to talk in a healthy way about finances. You need to know what her finances look like. She needs to know what her finances look like. She needs to know what your finances look like, and you need to know what yours look like. And we need to know what the household looks like, and we need to get on goals together. Are you afraid of combining because of her bankruptcy?

[B]

No, I'm afraid of combining because of her spending. Yeah, because if we had a combined bank account, we would be living paycheck to paycheck rebuttal.

[C]

That is not the case. I think that I could. I can, you know, rate in my spending sometimes.

[A]

She says she can reign in her spending sometimes. That doesn't necessarily make me feel comfortable for combining finances. Oh, she can sometimes reign in her spending. Okay. I would understand not wanting to combine as well. But here's the thing. If we. If we're married and we're headed for the rest of life together, we need to find a way to. It doesn't. People can do the uncombined, but I think your guys. Uncombined. Going and separate directions without talking is doing a disservice to you guys because you guys are flailing in different directions and she's just again, making all these cracks in the ship of the marriage, financially speaking. So even if you guys don't fully combine accounts, Jack, would you be open to at least combining the conversation of. Here's the entire financial picture of our household, and here's the goals we want to do together. And here's what we can agree upon and middle grounding to get to those goals.

[B]

Oh, absolutely.

[A]

Okay, good. Cause I think that's how your marriage remains financially healthy going forward. Okay. Any final thoughts on this before we let you go?

[B]

Nope. I just gotta get back to my patients.

[A]

Yeah, stick a needle in them. I shall. Thoughts on all that. Definitely. Sounds like you're the one. I'll be honest.

[C]

Well, my thoughts are. It'll be fine, like I said. And he's.

[A]

What concrete thoughts. It's going to be fine. How You've gone through bankruptcy before and never learned anything, and this is what it's resulting. It's gonna be fine. I would like to hear an argument of how.

[C]

An argument of how I can stop spending some of my money.

[A]

Good. That sounds great. Why didn't you. And why didn't you. If you Can. Why didn't you? Didn't you? If you went through Ramsith's program last fall? Well, these statements would look very different, I'll be honest. So if you could, why haven't you?

[C]

Because I still like to buy things.

[A]

Oh, very good. That's not changing. When you leave this room, there's not a magical spell that happens when you leave the financial audit studio that says, oh, I don't like to buy the things I like to buy anymore.

[C]

Well, I. I can change.

[A]

Then why haven't you? Would be the question that I would follow up with and now have.

[C]

I guess I haven't changed it because I don't want to.

[A]

Then why the are you here?

[C]

Well, we'll see if I want to.

[A]

What? I'm gonna waste my time? Why the would I give a shit to see if you want to? I want to help people when they want to be helped. But to see if you want to. You. You.

[C]

You.

[A]

What do you mean me? Me for what? I didn't do anything.

[C]

Okay. I do want to change. I want to renovate my house.

[A]

No. You need 200,000 hours in retirement at your age before you even contribute a single cent to renovation. What are you trying to do? Renovation.

[C]

What am I trying to do?

[A]

That was the question, Karen.

[C]

Okay, I want to redo the floors. I want to put in a new kitchen. I want to do update my bathroom.

[A]

How outdated is your house?

[C]

It was built in 68 and it still has a lot of the original stuff, so.

[A]

Yeah, in 1968.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Okay, I would understand. Wanting to renovate doesn't mean you can. Or it makes sense to, especially if you're not even on the title.

[C]

Well, I'll get my name on there.

[A]

Okay. What do you think your financial score is? 0 to 10, 0 being the absolute worst, 10 being the absolute best.

[C]

My financial score is 4.

[A]

Okay. Yeah, sure. Less than bankruptcy. Sure. If you want your Hammer financial score, see where you stand. Take the quiz, take the assessment. It is free and it just takes a few minutes@caleb hammer.com. see where you stand in the world of money, where you're doing poorly, where you're doing good, and how you compare against other people. It is awesome. And if you don't want to be like a guest who ends up on the show, make sure you download the new and improved dollar wise budgeting app. It is absolutely incredible. It is everything you'd ever need and want in a budgeting app. And it ain't all that extra shit like Ynab where it's impossible to get through their onboarding. Or Dave Ramsey's app where they force you to do what they want to do instead of it being a personal financial situation for you. Rocket mortgage or rocket money where they probably want to send you sell your mortgage or even like Monarch has raised almost $1 billion in private equity funding. You know, private equity likes private information. So this is a budget app built by people like you for people like you. So check it out. Dollarwise app. Link in the description below. Start your free trial, see if you like it. Let's start with these finances. Mission Lane. What's going on?

[C]

Mission Lane. That is maxed out.

[A]

Yeah, it is. It's over. Maxed out. Why? What the is happening? Well, I'm so much. I'm getting better. I went through Dave Ramsey's program. You. You.

[C]

It's gonna be fine. Like I said.

[A]

So when David sees this, what does he think? Wow, that's one of my financial gazelles right there.

[C]

I'm starting to pay that down.

[A]

No, I have the statement Q. No.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

No. Summer is the perfect time to get your budget in shape. And now that dollar wise is officially the best budgeting app on the market. I'm giving you a special deal to download, but only for a limited time. When you sign up for Dollarwise Annual, you'll get my four course educational bundle as a special bonus so you can get financially ripped while you track your money. And normally this would cost over $700 by the way. But when you claim your summer budget reset discount, you'll only pay $249 for a full year of budgeting and lifetime access to my four bestselling courses. Oh, and you'll also get a free copy of my Budget Friendly Cookbook PDF to download so you can also get your body in shape too. You don't wait until your first vacation to try to get your finances together. Go to Dollarwise.com or click that link in the description below. That's kind of stupid, I'll be honest. But what's not is actually getting a checking account that gives you free money. Free money. We like free money. You can get up to 200 in bonus cash right now when you sign up for the checking account that I use. Chime also, it makes your savings grow at a 3.5 APY interest rate. Guys, you can watch a lot of and get free money at the same time. Who would have thought? That's incredible. Check it out. Link in the description below. It's at a $4,571.05. That is over the limit. You don't know what the you're talking about. How long does this take to pay off? If you only make your minimum payments, which you only made your minimum monthly payment and you don't spend. I just saw you look at the number, so you probably know. Cheater. Did you see the number?

[C]

I didn't see the number.

[A]

How long does it take?

[C]

Three years.

[A]

Okay, dude, is this because you've never had to think in your life the guy just takes care of everything. You're sexist. You're making me be sexist, and that's not fair. 20 years.

[C]

Oh, okay.

[A]

Oh, yeah. That's when you're supposed to be retiring, by the way.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

And you'll only be starting to pay off of this one card. And you know why? It's because you've never paid off your debt before. Bankruptcy did. A man did. And a man did again. And a man will do. Because honestly, he sounds like a pushover. Sounds like a nice guy, but he sounds like a little pussy pushover. Okay, this 2016 barista mustache for you.

[C]

Yes. And it looks great.

[A]

Yeah, a decade ago. I'm sure it does. A decade ago. If that's what your style is. Decades ago, then please don't be renovating any of my houses soon.

[C]

I have amazing style. Like we've discussed.

[A]

Huh. Somehow Josh agreed with you. So, yeah, he'll probably pay off your debt and you will have learned nothing again. And that's honestly likely the outcome of this conversation because, well, you didn't walk away from Dave Ramseth with anything.

[C]

I mean, I listened to what they

[A]

said, and then you're like, hey, babe, let's pay off all the debt and with our savings and buy our savings. His savings. So you wanted to drain his savings down to pay your debt. It's. It's stupid. It makes no sense. Which also I wouldn't even recommend doing. I don't know what Dave. I haven't listened to Dave in a hot second. But if David doesn't say you have to change your behavior from pulling from all your savings first, then he's wrong. Because we've seen time and time again, if you don't change your behavior before you take a fast track, you're going to get right back where you were again. Debt consolidation, credit card transfer, bankruptcy, you name it. That's exactly what you've done. So I'm glad your husband didn't do that. I'm glad he didn't do that. How much was in savings that you tried to pull a Few thousand from his savings? No. How much? Come on.

[C]

I don't know.

[A]

Oh, you. What's the point? You don't. A few months ago, you don't remember. And then you did nothing except for. Keep this over the credit limit somehow. You must have been purchasing just recently. And then $169 minimum payment. You're only making the minimum payments and this takes 20 years. You'll be 62 and this card will be gone. What is wrong with you? What is wrong with you?

[C]

Dude, there is nothing wrong with me.

[A]

I. Oh, bullshit. Come on, let's not pretend. Let's not play pretend. Let's not say things we don't mean. Need things you don't. What did you get?

[C]

Sure.

[A]

What did you spend in here?

[C]

I think I got some new clothes, some new shoes. That's our need.

[A]

That's our need. That's our need.

[C]

Yes. I needed it. We had a party for work and I needed a new outfit.

[A]

What would have happened if you didn't show up with a new outfit?

[C]

Embarrassment.

[B]

Wow.

[C]

I needed to look really good. It was a big special event and we had a big open house. And so I needed a new dress. I needed some new boots.

[A]

What would have happened if you wore a dress that you wore a year ago? What would have been the consequences?

[C]

I mean, no necessary consequences.

[A]

But then you don't know what the word need means. Cause when I hear need, I hear need, meaning there's going to be something that happens if you don't need. No, you wanted to. You wanted an excuse to. I mean, I'm being told, looking at your previous previous spending like you endlessly go get necklaces, earrings, bracelets, and every time it's not even necessarily something nice. And we can tell, but you still go drop about 500 a piece. You go for quantity over quality.

[C]

I go for quality. And so that's why it's more expensive.

[A]

Wear trumpet earpieces.

[C]

Those are beautiful. And they were only like 120.

[A]

I know, but you stack up to $500 purchases across the board because you just buy shit. Buy shit. Buy shit. Buy shit. Adding everything into the cart doesn't matter because it's cheap. You just get it all the time and then we all know it's cheap. We can tell.

[C]

I needed a new bra and needed.

[A]

No, no. Stop using this word need. You don't get to use the word need. You don't know what the word need means. I don't think you know why. It just. I mean, it just hit me again. You've never Experienced a need. You've had someone bail you out at every instance, including your brother letting you live in his basement. And I'm not saying he necessarily shouldn't have after a divorce, but you've had someone bail you out every single second of your life. You've never experienced the need, a struggle, a problem?

[C]

I have experienced problems and struggles.

[A]

What? What? What?

[C]

Well, having to live with my brother, that was a struggle.

[A]

You entitled. You absolute entitled man. What is wrong with you? Yeah, what was the struggle?

[C]

I had lost my job and so I needed somewhere to stay. Read today about a 10 year old

[A]

girl with down syndrome I read about. Did you say wah wah? You got bailed out. What was the struggle of being bailed out? Struggle is you're not bailed out and you gotta figure shit out.

[C]

I figured it out by moving in with him.

[A]

So your struggle is that someone else bailed you out and got the whole basement to yourself?

[C]

Well, not the whole basement, but.

[A]

Oh no. Tragic. What Trauma.

[C]

I know. I really wanted the whole sports court to myself.

[A]

What? What? I don't know what that means. I feel like you just gave an inside reference to your own family on a podcast. No, I don't know what the fuck a sport. Does he have a gym in his basement?

[C]

A whole gym, A sports court.

[A]

Okay, you guys are rich. Okay, good. So a rich daddy bailed you out. Well done.

[C]

Thank you.

[A]

You've never experienced struggle.

[C]

That's your opinion.

[A]

Is that your big struggle that you dealt with one time was moving in with your brother?

[C]

Yes.

[A]

That's where the tears are gonna flow.

[C]

Yeah, I didn't have any other options, so that was a struggle and he let me stay there. How is that not a struggle?

[A]

Cause you immediately got bailed on and you got a whole nice ass basement. Losing a job sucks. I mean, that sucks. It doesn't feel good. Yes, but you never were on the brink of homelessness. You were never on the brink of actually an actual struggle. You've always had a man to bail you out. Stop making this a sexist episode. What is wrong with you?

[C]

I'm not making it sexist.

[A]

You are kind of just. I'm not really. It's just based on everything you say and you want to be trat all the way anyway.

[C]

Well, I just think that a man should take care of the woman. So, yeah, if that's trad.

[A]

Um, I mean, if that's how you guys want to live your life, sure. But like at that point, then it would be spending from his account and you're instead Just racking up debt in the background that he's gonna have to take care of. He thought you had $10,000 in debt. So this isn't him just taking care of you. This is you abusing your position.

[C]

I wouldn't say abuse.

[A]

Of course not. Because you would never want to take accountability for anything. No, yeah, we know that. We listen to you. We know people like you. Fortunately, it's like everyone now. Okay, dude, you had. What is this? You had late fees. You had late fees.

[C]

I had a late fee.

[A]

You had about two or three late fees. Also at a 32.49 interest rate. $1,200 last year. What the is wrong with you? What is wrong with you?

[C]

Are you sure there was more than one late fee?

[A]

Yeah, Mission Lane's own hoa. Karen came and charged you with a late fee. Got punished.

[C]

I didn't realize that.

[A]

Karen, meet Karen.

[C]

I am not a Karen.

[A]

Brandon, can you come over here for a second? Can you come over to her side and stand next to her and just pull her mic to you as well? You're the second Mexican I'm bringing in, so hopefully you make up for the last one. Josh says she doesn't look like a Karen. Do you agree with Josh? Do you agree with me? You're a super Karen. Thank you. What the was Josh talking about?

[C]

Respectfully, thank you for the respect.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, you got sideburns with your hairstyle. Yeah. This is horrendous. Or it's over the limit fees, which means it was happening all year. Like, what wrong with you? KKR credit. Right. This is usually for dog.

[C]

That is for dog.

[A]

For dog.

[C]

Oh, it was for dog.

[A]

It's over. Maxed out. That usually doesn't happen with dog. That usually means you're not paying.

[C]

Well, I did have to pay for dogs. There's a p. What's that fee for some dentistry?

[A]

Did you have to pay for late fee? That just happened. Late fee.

[C]

Oh, I forgot to pay that one.

[A]

Why? Why'd you forget to pay that one?

[C]

Well, I just don't always think about it.

[A]

Why not auto pay? If the man's supposed to take care of you, as your trad woman says, then why have your own credit cards anyway? Use his credit cards. He pays for them. What the is this? You're trying to be independent, yet be wrapped up in trash. Make it make sense. It doesn't, Karen.

[C]

Okay, so I can be partially independent, but he can take care of me in food and housing and stuff. But then I can still make money to buy the things that I want.

[A]

So. Well, I'm not saying you can't make money.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

But you're not paying on your own bills. You seem to want the best of both worlds, where he takes care of all the big overhead because a man takes care of the house. And then you go and spend all your money on literally anything and everything you want instead of having to contribute anything to the household. You literally just want the best of both worlds.

[C]

I contribute some stuff to the household.

[A]

Well, a little glocky, glocky here and there. Good. I'm glad he's happy.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

What else do you contribute to the household? An idea of a $200,000 renovation that he doesn't even want or think you need.

[C]

I take care of the kids, which are the dogs, so I pay for everything for them.

[A]

Thought there was about to be kids in this conversation. You really threw me for a loop. Real quick.

[C]

And okay.

[A]

The dog. So easy.

[C]

Well, they require grooming every six weeks, and that's expensive.

[A]

Oh, my goodness. You are a broken individual. Every six weeks you cover grooming. That's your contribution.

[C]

No, I pay for all of their food and all their vet stuff.

[A]

Okay, that stuff could be big, but listen. Not even necessarily. He said he has the savings just in case something happens to the dogs. What kind of dogs do you have?

[C]

Miniature schnauzers.

[A]

Oh, you are a Karen Extreme.

[C]

How is that Karen?

[A]

Come on. That sounds like an alt. Is that not a Karen dog?

[C]

Miniature schnauzers are super popular.

[A]

Miniature schnauzers. Let me look them up.

[C]

Can you please show him the picture with the eyelashes? Mm, they're pretty.

[A]

Oh, those are Karen dogs in the extreme. What do you mean? Absolutely they are. And also, they're not. They're very tiny. Their food is not expensive. Even the expensive food is not expensive. You've never had big dogs. You can't tell me it's expensive. I don't want to hear it. The grooming is also going to be cheaper, too. Yeah, yeah. Pretentious fucking dogs.

[C]

Yeah, those lashes are real.

[A]

And I'm sure they're very cute and I would love them in person. But you're a Karen. You just keep being more Karen as we go on.

[C]

Well, they have to have specific type of food, so. Yes, it's more expensive.

[A]

Yeah, more expensive, but it's still low portion. And it's lower hair to cut, too. This is your big sacrifice to the house. Wow. What a hero.

[C]

I know.

[A]

Should make a statue.

[C]

Which one is that?

[A]

Oh, promotional bail. Oh, one just ended a Week ago. Oh, you got the deferred interest Me. So this is substantially higher now. Fees. Interest. Late fees. Oh, you had approximately five late fees last year. Maybe you should actually let a man deal with all this shit because maybe you can't handle independence. Look at this. This is a disaster. You're ruining all. All the decades we've had a feminizing and woman power you have just thrown back to the dumpster.

[C]

Okay, explain.

[A]

Tell me you're throwing us back to feudalism for women.

[C]

What Did I get a late fee on what?

[A]

What?

[C]

Got another late fee on that one.

[A]

Yes. You've had five last year. You can't be trusted. You want independence. No. No.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

No.

[C]

How does that show that I can't be independent?

[A]

Because you didn't make half your payments last year on time. What do you mean? How does that show the. Are you talking about? You're making me look like a. The most. I'm not even close to trad. I don't give a. But you're advocating for independence, yet having a man take care of you and then you do this. What kind of look does this show?

[C]

Which card is that?

[A]

Oh my goodness. It's the care credit. Karen's not Remember the last five minutes.

[C]

No, we don't.

[A]

We should acknowledge it. Care of which deferred interest just hit a week ago. Moron. You can't be. You can't be trusted to manage. Not for a single second. It's at 40% interest. 40% interest? You're. You're firm. It's a shit ton of money on a firm. What the are you getting on a firm? Oh, Amazon. Pull up your Amazon. Oh, lady. Miscare. Miscare. And n. What have you done? $2,390.21 on a firm. You're a. You're a consumer. Minimum to payment is about 577. And then you replenish. Replenish, replenish, replenish. Starting a screen recording. Thanks for not connecting to wi fi.

[C]

I did.

[A]

It Sundays you're on 5G. Let's see. Ah, it doesn't matter. So do it anyway. Okay, let's see. Quit smoking patches.

[C]

I don't smoke. The nicotine patches are for energy and for focus patches.

[A]

Why aren't you just zinning it up? Where is it?

[C]

I don't have it with me.

[A]

Where do you put it?

[C]

On my chest.

[A]

Is that normal for people who don't smoke? I've never heard of this. That's usually for people who smoke.

[C]

Nicotine is a good supplement.

[A]

So wait, are you prescribed Adderall?

[C]

Yes.

[A]

This is why she's like this, by the way. She just. She took one. She took an Adderall and a caffeine pill in the green room, I'm being told. This is making a lot of sense. Why you sound like, oh, my God, I'm a fucking actor.

[C]

I need to have a little pep in my step during the day. Cause I don't sleep well at night.

[A]

Well, because you're morbidly obese. You need to be able to step around things.

[C]

Yes. At least you.

[A]

You need to be able to make it to the other side of the room somehow also. What the. Why do you not believe in do not disturb? Okay, you got a little. You got a little plushie. You got SAL TT What's SAL tt?

[C]

Oh, that is electrolytes. Salt.

[A]

Are you working out substantially? No. Then you don't need it. You know, through a most normal healthy diet, people are getting the electrolytes they need. Unless they are walking and aggressive or unless they are working out and aggressively sweating. Then you need electrolyte replacement.

[C]

No. You should never drink water unless it has salt.

[A]

Never. Never.

[C]

That's what Dave Asprey says. I know who it is.

[A]

Okay, well, Lindsay. Lindsay knows that one.

[C]

He is.

[A]

Oh, and that's the fat. The fat in your coffee for your brain. Okay. Brandon would be a big fan, Lindsay saying lots of plushy things. You get these sheeps. Are you obsessed with sheeps?

[C]

It's lamb chop for the dogs.

[A]

Okay? Air filter's fine. Why are you climbing all this stuff, though? Lots of hair shit. Lots of hair shit. Gosh. It's a mix of things that are okay or overbought and then bullshit. It's stupid. The fact that you're affirming all this shit. Pull up your affirm. Pull up your affirm. Oh, shit. Oh, you're going to Seattle this Friday for a concert. $600. Who you seen? So that's what you're fucking clowning? Being a dumbass. Who the are you seeing?

[C]

I went and saw Rocky Voltolato in Seattle last weekend.

[A]

I keep looking at everyone for these names. Who are you talking about ever?

[C]

Rocky Voldolaro is my favorite musician and he had his 20th anniversary.

[A]

The affirms gone up to 3135,

[C]

So that one is higher.

[A]

What the is wrong with you? You're not a credit card person. You don't understand shit. Okay? I am a credit card. You don't understand shit.

[C]

I am a credit card person.

[A]

A credit card person. Is not just because you use a

[C]

tool to get what I want and then I'll pay it off.

[A]

Off. Off you.

[C]

I mean, I have been called retarded by someone with down syndrome before, so.

[A]

Okay, I'm glad you got the validation. Delta. Lots of Delta. Yeah, you're going everywhere. Element paper. What is a lemon paper?

[C]

Element paper is. I got a new planner and I needed some new planner inserts because.

[A]

Planner inserts.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Oh, you just overlooked so that I

[C]

can plan my day. You are such a awesome budget planning insert.

[A]

Shut the up.

[C]

I mean, I'll use them one day.

[A]

Just use the dollar wise budgeting app, moron. You get it for free for the rest of your life.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

I'm also putting you through the master your money program. That comes with a premium version of dollar wise, but also it comes with all of our classes, our debt class, budgeting class, investing class, real estate class. You need to go through all of it. And I'd go through it with him as well. Yeah, Going on a trip to Seattle to see someone no one's ever heard of for hundreds of dollars right before coming on financial audit is insane. That is a crazy move.

[C]

Well, I have been planning it for like six months to see Valadato, Rocky, Voltalato, who.

[A]

Name a song makers. Sing it.

[C]

Death keeps calling me.

[A]

No, try to put some tune to it.

[C]

Death keeps calling me she's gonna set me free. No more sunshine, sidewalk streets or misery.

[A]

Do we know this? Oh, and you spent money on that shit. Okay, well, your new affirm minimum payments likely 783 if you're paying it in four. We'll see. Okay. And I know, I'm sure those are like weekly split out weekly and whatnot, but Apple card, what's going on here?

[C]

Well, Apple card is for typically when I've run out of way.

[A]

You talk like that. When you run out of money, you run out of money every second of your life.

[C]

I need to get gas or something.

[A]

Spend more than you make. Three years to pay off my.

[C]

I drive a lot for work. To work.

[A]

What?

[C]

So I need gas money. I drive 45 minutes to work and usually takes an hour to get home.

[A]

What the is wrong with you? Why is. Why. Why do you live so far? Because Salt Lake City isn't that big. You must live on the complete opposite end of the metro.

[C]

I live up in Ogden, so I don't. And it's because that's where my husband's job is. And so that's where we purchased the

[A]

home Trad Home buy Well, I don't see any purchases on here. You made your minimum, but I guess you probably do on a normal basis. Purchase on here?

[C]

Yes.

[A]

It's crazy, dude. It's just crazy. Hundreds of dollars in interest. 25.74% interest rate. I just don't understand how you're living your life. Why are you living your life? Listen, maybe I'll get you a certification from course careers and accounting too. Most people out there use that to improve their income situation. But I'll gift it to you so you can understand numbers.

[C]

Math can be hard sometimes.

[A]

So not this basic shit. I'm math, don't get me wrong. Finances are basic math. Okay, the basic math quicksilver. You're spending on it. Why are you spending on a card that is over limit that is accruing interest that you cannot pay off to save your life?

[C]

I don't know what I'm buying on that one.

[A]

You don't even know what you're doing, dude. You're over the limit on everything. $512.23 minimum monthly payment. 28 bucks takes two years to pay off. Except not really because you're getting fees, you're getting interest and you are spending on it. You are spending on it.

[C]

Well, like I said, if in between paychecks I needed to get something or coffee.

[A]

You don't take care of the overhead. You shouldn't have an issue. You shouldn't have a issue. It was a late fee.

[C]

Another late fee, another late fee. I swear I pay these things on time.

[A]

Okay, well you just broke your oath because you literally do not. So I don't know what to tell you. Interest occurring fees are growing and you got an Amazon purchase. And we saw your Amazons, they weren't 100 necessity for living.

[C]

I mean, I guess dog toy is not a necessity, but it was really cute and I wanted it.

[A]

Why does he deal with this? Oh, cause he's a pushover.

[C]

That's right, I forgot because my tits are big.

[A]

And don't forget, I want you to be on the next episode of Financial Audit. So go to caleb hammer.com apply or click that link in the description below. You'll have a great time and I'm going to roast the out of you. Starbucks is bull and a waste of money. And you already know that by making your coffee at home and investing the rest. So now you need to do that with your energy drink as well. Make gamer subs at home for just 40 cents a serving. And honestly, it literally tast better. And we proved this Accidentally, via a blind taste test in our Hammer Elite show, Fat and Fatter. The number one ranked energy drink is Gamer Sauce. Literally. The cherry flavor is insane. Listen, you can also get free samples to see if you like it. Or 10% off your order at gamersupps gg or click that link in the description below. Type in code. Caleb. Good on you, guy. My tits are big, too. You don't see people put it up with my.

[C]

Are you sure?

[A]

Lindsay? Do you put up with my. Because I got big tits. Okay. I just wanted to make sure because. Because she does put up with them big pockets. That's why Schwab Tire Center.

[C]

Le Schwab. That I had to get new tires.

[A]

Oh, Les Schwab. I apologize.

[C]

Yes. I had to get new tires for my.

[A]

I couldn't just favor. None of your money goes to overhead. There's no way you couldn't just get new tires.

[C]

Yes. I don't have that car any longer.

[A]

You still owe on tires on a car you don't own. What happened to this car?

[C]

We traded it in for a better car.

[A]

What kind of car do you have?

[C]

Well, I mean, a newer car, but not newer.

[A]

What kind of car do you have?

[C]

2014 Hyundai Santa Fe.

[A]

Well, it should be paid off in a few months. I mean, you owe368.54.

[C]

What?

[A]

How much were your new tires?

[C]

I think they were 1200.

[A]

When did you get these?

[C]

Like a year and a half ago. Maybe two years ago. I don't know.

[A]

Okay, well, you've been paying on it forever. $111 is your monthly. I said I'm not freaking out about that. But what I am freaking about is this. What is this? Is this a Clarna?

[C]

That is. Yes.

[A]

What?

[C]

That's Klarna.

[A]

Pull it up. Ticketmaster, Converse, Etsy. What are you getting on Etsy? What the. Are you getting on Etsy? Huh? Huh? What are you getting on Etsy? Huh?

[C]

I got a few things for like a dress. I think I got the Converse of those, right? Yes. Okay, this one.

[A]

Imagine Klarna being a Karen. You're fucking Klarna being a Karen. It's impressive. There's your Ticketmaster. Converse. It's crazy. It's crazy. Listen, okay, minimum on this is likely of the 293.68. So stupid. Why are you paying in foreign?

[C]

It just makes it easier for me because.

[A]

Does it? Because you don't make your payments on time, so does it actually make it easy?

[C]

I do make those payments. Those ones are automatic.

[A]

I don't trust you. I don't believe you. Yeah, but if you don't have enough in your account, it bounces.

[C]

That's true.

[A]

That's true.

[C]

It just. Okay, so I know I'm gonna have the money, but I want it right now.

[A]

What if you get laid off again? Remember when you got laid off? That sucked. Well, I don't think people do a lot of renovations when we're in a recession and the job market's a little meh. Poorly. GDP numbers were good last time, but still.

[C]

I didn't get laid off. I was fired.

[A]

Why?

[C]

For sexual harassment.

[A]

Who'd you harass?

[C]

The maintenance guy who was sending me nudes. I smacked his butt and then they fired me. I was like. He was sending me nudie pictures.

[A]

Why'd you smack his butt?

[C]

Well, they were all joking around and they had new outfits. So what?

[A]

A man was sending you nudes?

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Consensually?

[C]

Yes. I mean, I wasn't really responding to him, but it was after my divorce.

[A]

You invited them?

[C]

No, I didn't invite them. I was chatting with him, and then he sent that to me.

[A]

What the dude. Guys are out there just slinging images. What are we doing? Men. Get your together. But it didn't bother you?

[C]

No, it didn't bother me.

[A]

You liked it? The attention?

[C]

Well, he was cute. I guess.

[A]

So You. You. You liked it?

[C]

Yes.

[A]

And you didn't encourage anymore?

[C]

No, I didn't encourage it.

[A]

How long was he sending you PPs?

[C]

Well, he only sent me one, and it wasn't fully. I guess it wasn't a full nude. He had a towel on.

[A]

Oh, so it wasn't a nude?

[C]

I guess not.

[A]

It doesn't make it necessarily appropriate. But there is a. There are degrees. I know on the Internet, everything's a nuclear 10 out of 10 at all times. But just like martyrs, there are degrees.

[C]

So he had been flirting with me. He sent me a picture and a towel.

[A]

Were you flirting back? Yes. Okay, okay, okay. You made it sound like out of the blue, this all of a sudden becomes. I'm not saying not inappropriate, but much more normal. In the real world, that flirting can get to something slightly salacious.

[C]

Yeah, so.

[A]

And then at work, you smack them in the butt. What did this look like?

[C]

Oh, nice new pants back.

[A]

Did he report it?

[C]

Apparently somebody else reported it. Cause they felt uncomfortable.

[A]

Christian should have been fired like 50 times. Now the dude can't keep his hands off men's asses. Especially Brandon. Oh, my gosh. He loves you. Loves that. Fucking those cheeks. Now let's get HR In Here, let's get HR in here. I want to see if you should have been fired or not, because, I mean, I don't know, you guys were flirting. Obviously. Different tolerances. Companies afraid of lawsuits and whatnot. Was it a big thing?

[C]

I mean, it turned out good because I. I didn't love that job anyway afterwards. No.

[A]

You didn't even get anything good out of it?

[C]

No, nothing. I don't.

[A]

That sucks. Oh, I guess it doesn't suck.

[C]

Oh, he was cute at the time, but I was like, I didn't really care. I had just gotten divorced. It was before I met my current.

[A]

That's when we rebound for a little insertions here and there.

[C]

Yeah, for here and there.

[A]

But how much did that you. When you got fired?

[C]

Oh, if me, that's when I. I had just got divorced. I lost my job, and that's why I had to move in with my brother.

[A]

How'd you maintain your lifestyle, though?

[C]

I just kept thinking that I would. Everything would work out and I would just get another job.

[A]

Well, I don't know where HR is. Huh. Okay, nevermind. Okay, well, let's keep going. Zabble. What the is a Zabble? At 24.03% interest rate? The is this.

[C]

That is a personal loan that I got to pay off my cards and.

[A]

Oh, my goodness. So you did it twice. Bankruptcy? No. Lesson consolidation. No less than. Are you consolidating at 24.03% interest? That's basically a credit card. That's basically a credit card.

[C]

Well, I found my dream chairs, so.

[A]

I found dream chairs. What is wrong with you again? You look like one out of Taco bell from the 80s.

[C]

I found my dream chairs.

[A]

How. What is a dream chair?

[C]

A dream chair is.

[A]

Oh, I shouldn't even.

[C]

What it is the suspension chair from Star Trek the Next Generation.

[A]

And. Okay, show me. What the are you talking about? Did your minimum. You're gonna be paying this off forever. $272. Huh? You accrued almost $2,000 in interest. You had fees. I think you had a late fee every month last year.

[C]

I don't think every month.

[A]

Okay, I think every month.

[C]

So these are the suspense chair.

[A]

Let's make sure we put these on screen. Let's see what this is. Let's see what a $10,000 24% personal loan never paying on time with $550 of late fees is all about. You don't even have them at the ready. Your dream chair. Because apparently that's something people have, Bruh. These look like.

[C]

So they are On Ted Forward on Star the Next Generation. And they're so cute. They're so cool. They're very comfortable. Yes, they are. So I got four of the one arm chairs and two of the no armchairs.

[A]

Where are they?

[C]

The no arm chairs are in my living room and the other chairs are waiting to be reupholstered. They're very cool.

[A]

Oh, you don't care about anything that is needing to be cared about in your life at all.

[C]

Come on.

[A]

You don't give a shit about anything important.

[C]

I do.

[A]

Those are. No, you are just. Ooh, You. You are not a good person financially.

[C]

But I'm a good person.

[A]

I can't comment on that. But if you're Karen, things towards the beginning are true. I would actually advocate. No. And you've had this for two years now, and it's still this. This is chaos. This is insanity, dude. This is insanity. Late every month last year. No, you had to have been. Unless every late fee is just like, insanely expensive.

[C]

I've only had that one for one year. And no.

[A]

January 2024. It's 26 now.

[C]

It was 2024. I thought it was 2025.

[A]

I'm being told 24.

[C]

It was 2025, I swear.

[A]

Well, even still, it's horrendous. That doesn't all of a sudden make it better anyway.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Interest rates are on the way down at that time, and it's still so, like. I don't even. I don't even want to hear it. This is absolutely ridiculous. Now I understand why you don't have money. Because you've been for things with all the money you do have. Who has this style? Who wants those chairs? It's not who does this?

[C]

They're very cool. And when I reupholster them in a really fun fabric.

[A]

So it's not even the Star Trek chairs anymore. You reupholster it into something else.

[C]

Well, no, it'll still be the Star Trek chairs. It'll just have an updated look to them.

[A]

Oh, my.

[C]

Fashion forward, if you will.

[A]

Okay. Student loans. For what?

[C]

For a while, I thought I might want to go into aesthetics, so I.

[A]

What is going into aesthetics?

[C]

Skincare, facials, that kind of stuff.

[A]

Aesthetician, like that. That's called aesthetics.

[C]

Aesthetics, yeah, aesthetics. Correct. And so I started school for that.

[A]

Oh, you made almost absolutely nothing for a very long time, by the way.

[C]

I decided, no, that's not for me. So I stopped that.

[A]

But you spent thousands and thousands and thousands on that. Because you still have a balance of 4,367. When did you do that?

[C]

Oh, six years ago is wrong with you?

[A]

What's your minimum payment on this?

[C]

53.

[A]

Why? You should have to pay more. You don't do poorly. You just spend all your money and everything. Why are we. Why are we subsidizing you? Pay more, asshole.

[C]

I will pay more when I can.

[A]

You never can. You get Star Trek chairs. You're a moron. You're a Karen, dude. You're. No, no, no. Shut the upper up. Okay. What is this? This is a checking account. You have 23.64 on here. Okay, Venmo, 25 bucks. Oh, there's so much on here. Venmo again, 25. Who are you Venmoing?

[C]

I'm Venmoing my dog walker.

[A]

Yeah, I thought you're the one who takes care of the dogs. You're the special princess who takes care of the dogs. The queen of the house.

[C]

By paying the dog walker.

[A]

What is burger? Burger?

[C]

It was my phone case.

[A]

What? Why are you having two payments to it?

[C]

Oh, because I also got a case for my MacBook and a case for my iPad.

[A]

What?

[C]

A case for my MacBook.

[A]

Oh, MacBook. I heard MacBook. DoorDash, you palm beach tan.

[C]

Mm, I need to go tanning.

[A]

Uh huh. Doordash again. Raising canes. Alta ATM withdraw. Don't even know where the that went. $63.50 going in. Eating some bullshit. Bo Coop. Bo's coupe. Bo's Coupe. McDonald's venue not money. Perfume. Venue not money. Flannel. Going any bullshit. Going any is a bullshit. What are you getting for $6.18 from the gas station?

[C]

Cause it's multiple times Starbucks Frappuccinos every morning on the way to work at Exxon at 7:11. Yes.

[A]

Starbucks fried potatoes.

[C]

Yes. Just the little ones? Yes.

[A]

Oh my. Make your coffee at home, moron.

[C]

Well, I do make some at home before I leave, but then I need another one.

[A]

What the. You are a broken individual. This makes no sense. Why not get actual real coffee from a place that's cheaper than that?

[C]

Well, it's two of them for six.

[A]

Buy them from bulk. From the grocery store. They sell them at the grocery store for cheaper. In bulk.

[C]

No, it's actually like the same price.

[A]

No, it is not. It's impossible. Lies. Lies. I don't believe it.

[C]

I swear to you.

[A]

Well, you already swore to me before and you broke that Amazon Beau coup. What is beau coup? You go there all the time.

[C]

Beaucoup is the bakery by my work, so I'll go there. To get.

[A]

Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness. You are. What is wrong with you? How many coffees do you have a day? Probably I drink a caffeine pill and Adderall in the green room. Dude, your heart's gonna explode.

[C]

It might, but also you're very. Out of five coffees a day.

[A]

What that. With morbid obesity and caffeine pills and Adderall.

[C]

Yes, I know, I know.

[A]

Can you give me my backpack, please?

[C]

Brandon? 400mg of caffeine a day. But I usually go a little bit higher than that.

[A]

To what? Okay, you can get four from Walmart. The Frappuccino's. Seven bucks. 7.78. It's double the price the way you're doing it.

[C]

But those are smaller. The four pack is smaller.

[A]

I don't know. And I doubt not from what four

[C]

pack is smaller cans or smaller glass bottles.

[A]

You're the black haired version of that cunt from Harry Potter that locked down the entire palace.

[C]

I've never seen it, so I don't know what you're talking about.

[A]

How have you. You what? You gotta watch it every Christmas. What is wrong with you? You have. You have. You just don't live life. I swear you are what is wrong. Thank you. Thank you. I'm gonna ask why I'm carrying this around. Cause I have a lot of weird things. Cause I'm a fucking weirdo. But it's okay. What's your heart rate? Put it on. Yeah, you have to turn it on. Sit. Let it think. Oh, my gosh. Bo coop. Bo coop. McDonald's raising cane's audible. Go to the library. Bo Coupe. Venmo. Venmo. Get in your little coffee. Petsmart. Venmo Bell. Coupe. Bo Coupe. Barracoda. Barracoda. Barricado. Barracoda. Coup. Apple Bell. Boop. Olympia Hill Service. Chick Fil A. This is insane. Amount of spending going to getting your coffee. Domino's, Subway Hill Service, Megaplex theaters, Apple, Bill, Etsy. You're getting a lot of shit on Etsy Coffee. Amazon, Demetri Martin, Amazon, Amazon, Venmo, Subway, Spotify, Megaplex at the Gateway, Ice House. Overdraft. You're overdrafting for this coffee and bag hoop. What is this?

[C]

I needed.

[A]

What is it?

[C]

It's at 99. What?

[A]

I'm. No, that's your oxygen, you moron. It's 110. I don't think you should be sitting with 110. Not sitting, walking. Sure, maybe if you're. If you're a high heart rate individual. But if you're at this. Should you be taking Adderall if you're sitting? I don't know. Also I have a note. It is labeled off bitch. 12 pack of 13.7 ounces for $33, which is $2.75 per bottle.

[C]

Where off bitch? I'll go to the grocer then.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, if you're trading it up. Aren't you supposed to anyway?

[C]

Oh no, of course not.

[A]

I don't do that again. You pick and choose what you like. Oh my goodness. Last year you had 17 overdrafts on here. You Karen freak. Failure. What are you doing? And I know you're not going to fix this. I don't even understand. You went to David Ramseth and you did nothing. Have you called to David?

[C]

No.

[A]

Okay, I don't want you answered like that. 417 and this I would definitely switch from Sofi and go to Chime. It is much better. Much better. Better high yield, better services and a better signup bonus. $350. Okay, $350 when you sign up for a direct deposit. It's incredible. But you're still going in and getting the coffees. Wendy's, Wendy's coffee. Wendy's Coffee. Bullshit. Amazon. Amazon. Amazon Amazon Belle Coop perfume Olympus Hill service Stopping at a store getting something. 150 bucks. I don't know the Garo. Amazon McDonald's. Alexa skills. Oh, there's more coffee. McDonald's Coffee DoorDash and chick fil a coffee. Amazon Amazon Venmo. Oh coffee doordash Amazon Coffee. Amazon McDonald's Amazon Coffee Amazon Arctic Circle coffee Coffee Amazon Coffee Doordash Amazon.

[C]

I don't have time.

[A]

Olympic Hill service Amazon Amazon on doordash reading gains. Put your doordash unhealthy stuff anyway and pack a lunch, you dumb cunt.

[C]

I try to drift.

[A]

You try to. How do you try to pack a lunch? Whoops. Oh, I failed the zone.

[C]

Just try to be prepared.

[A]

What?

[C]

Sometimes I do forget it. Even though I packed it.

[A]

What? Oh. How are you like this? You have no accountability in your life whatsoever. You have never been able to hold yourself accountable. No one has ever been able to hold yourself accountable. You are an entitled fucking brat. Hardware Amazon Tailored queen bee gift bullshit savings. $296. Put it in. Put it in. Chime instead. It is a better high yield savings rate than that. Sofi. I was a fan for a second, but honestly, kind of shitty compared to Chime.

[C]

Okay, I'll switch.

[A]

Plus better sign up bonuses. 350. I mean it's crazy. Only if you use my link chime.com forward slash Caleb. And then. Yeah, so I mean 7780 bucks in retirement which is dramatically behind for your age. All right, let's Let me budget this. I don't even think you can stick to it though. Cuz you're an entitled freak.

[C]

I can stick to it if I set my mind to it.

[A]

Yeah, sure. Let's get all those five brain cells working. Let me get. Sorry, I'm just being mean. But I hate Karen's. I really do. Minimum monthly payment. And this includes your pay in fours. Which makes it difficult. I will be honest. It makes it difficult built. But the thing is I'm gonna keep them in because it's a thou. It's just weird because if you pay it off and don't put anything else on there. Yeah. Your minimum payments are immediately going to go down. But the thing is you probably built all the way back up again. I mean when I opened your firm it was even higher than the statements you gave us. So debt minimum payment is probably a thousand one hundred or a thousand six hundred. $2.17 a month. You can quickly get it out of the paying for US income. 4000. What do you contribute to the mortgage?

[C]

I contribute, let's see, 1100 for the mortgage, my car and I don't know what it is. Separately I just paid.

[A]

Okay, that's fine. Yeah, I didn't see a card yet. So he did it for you because again you can't do anything yourself. Strong independent woman.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Does that include Internet, electricity, gas and all that shit as well for the house. Wow. Phone bill.

[C]

That's all included as well.

[A]

Wow. Look, you are being subsidized by this man. I can't believe he's just allowing this to happen. Listen, you can use helium if you ever need your own phone service. I'm sure it's good in Salt Lake City because it's just T mobile service. As long as it's good there. It's a very price effective program. Highly recommend it. 15 bucks a month for service. Gas. Vroom vroom. Drive. Drive. You say I spend a lot.

[C]

I spend $50 a week, so

[A]

that's a lot. Oh my God. Yes, it's expensive, but you were gonna make it sound like it was $1,000 in gas. Car insurance, that's included. Oh my goodness. What is wrong with you? How do groceries work for the house?

[C]

He takes care of them.

[A]

Oh my goodness. Listen, TP fund anything else you need to survive. 150 bucks. Sure, whatever medical healthcare. Their CO pays?

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Hopefully a dramatic amount of therapy, except they're probably enabling you, but go ahead. How much? What's your co pays?

[C]

25. Therapy session.

[A]

How many therapies?

[C]

So once a month?

[A]

Yeah. Double it up, triple it up, quadruple it up. Or see a different therapist. I don't know, Jim.

[C]

None.

[A]

And I know you don't feel encouraged to go because you think you're perfect.

[C]

I don't feel encouraged to go at all.

[A]

Well, good. He'll be very happy when you drop that at 65 subscriptions. 40 bucks. Pets. Yeah. Get some pet insurance. Does he pay for that or you.

[C]

Yes, he does. And we have pet insurance.

[A]

How much for pet food?

[C]

I spend $50 a month.

[A]

Wow, that's your super crazy contribution? How much for the. Every month and a half grooming?

[C]

It is 160 for both of them. Every six weeks.

[A]

Okay. Oh, put it. 100 bucks a month. That's a great contribution. How much for the dog walker?

[C]

About $50 a week.

[A]

Okay. Anything else that needs to be in this budget?

[C]

Not that I can think of.

[A]

How much hairspray

[C]

that was the. That's about $35 a hairspray can.

[A]

And you go through one a day?

[C]

I go through about one a month. Okay.

[A]

Is that true? Okay, well, that's in your TP fund, which actually I would need to update your TP funds called 200 bucks, which I'll add 50 bucks. Okay, listen. I mean, sure, you have money left over, but you're just not going to do anything. You're going to get your coffee. You're going to be a dumb. This is like whatever. Okay. $482.83 left over. Sure, why not? $33,767.23. Minus the $4,367 of student loans with this. 482amonth. Pay off your debt. I mean, it's just fine because he's subsidizing everything. Five years isn't that bad because he'll pay for you guys to go out to eat and stuff. That's if you actually follow this. Just don't spend money on bullshit. Pay off your debt. You'll be debt free. Get a fully funded emergency fund, I guess, for your side. Then you need to start contributing to retirement. Fuck this renovation. Maybe do some things as you need them along the way. Together. You guys just need to be together. This is just. This is so fucking stupid. I don't know. I don't know. We might call him in the post show to figure out what is his thoughts after all this. But you can pay that off. He'll treat you. He'll give you the luxuries you all your money needs to go to taking care of your use now. I just don't think it's gonna happen. I hope it does. Let's get your Hammer Financial score Spending in a budget money overspend 010 debt no collections but wait isn't there IRS that oh sorry. We'll talk about that in the post show. Where was that? I didn't even see it. That's a zero out of 10. That's a zero out of ten. We'll talk about that in the post. She'll kill me now. Emergency fund nothing in savings 0 out of 10 it's like 200 bucks. Retirement 1 out of 10 dramatically buying real estate you're not on title 0 out of 10 golf Amber financial score rounded up 0.5 out of 10 get yours@caleb hammer.com now click that join button for three premium shows posted every single day six days a week for an extra 20 minutes of this episode the Financial Auto post show we got to talk about the IRS then probably call back the husband what the so what the the is going on with this

[C]

IRS that Well I was previously and I wasn't saving enough money to pay

[A]

my taxes and you just found out

[C]

I had a payment plan set up. I thought.

[A]

I thought I was making payments on this. I thought this. I thought this. What the. Don't forget the summer budget reset is now live. Get a full year of dollar wise premium plus my four best selling educational courses and a digital copy of my Budget Friendly co cookbook and my exclusive 30 day meal plan signed by me and mailed directly to you. This is a better deal than we've ever done before and it's only for a limited time. It is 67% off everything. So don't wait until that first pool party to get financially ripped. Click the link below. Save big. Claim your bonuses now.