Financial Audit's First Throuple

Summary

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Financial Audit with Caleb Hammer

Episode: Financial Audit's First Throuple

Date: September 29, 2025

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Overview

This episode of Financial Audit features the podcast’s first-ever “throuple”: Alice (34), Joey (37), and Ella (31) from Tucson, Arizona. The trio is navigating not only an unconventional romantic and family arrangement—including three adults, four kids, two grandparents, and pets in one household—but also an immensely complicated and precarious financial situation.

Host Caleb Hammer approaches their unique dynamic with curiosity, candor, and humor, using his trademark tough-love style to break down their tangled finances, patterns of overspending, and the challenges of integrating finances in a polyamorous household. The episode is a blend of candid relationship talk, stark financial reality checks, and moments of levity as each partner attempts to reconcile their personal habits and shared obligations.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Introduction to the Throuple & Family Dynamics

• [01:23–05:10]
  • Alice and Joey are legally married, and Ella is their girlfriend who recently moved in.
  • All three are raising four children (three from Alice & Joey; one from Ella).
  • Joey's parents also live on the property, making a total of nine people in the home.
  • The family structure is openly polyamorous:

    “This is polyamory at its finest.” – Alice [01:47]

  • Kids have affectionate nicknames for Ella, like “Syrup,” and regard her as a parental figure.

2. Current Living & Financial Situation

• [06:05–13:13]
• The trio live together in a 2,000 sq ft house on five acres.
• The house is jointly purchased by Alice and Joey.
• Joey’s parents contribute $1,000/month to household expenses, but are described as “very religious” and not supportive of the relationship structure, though they like Ella personally.
• The house is considered too expensive and not necessarily a home anyone loves ("No, I didn’t really want it from the beginning." – Alice [28:20])

3. Income, Employment & Roles

• Major Income Sources:
  • Joey: Teacher, ~$80,000/year.
  • Alice: Teacher’s aide and ghost tour guide, ~$1,500/month.
  • Ella: Recently switched to nursing assistant, expects $20/hr.
  • Joey’s parents: flat $1,000 monthly contribution.
  • Previous attempted income from a now-closed coffee shop and other lost ventures.
• Alice and Joey are applying for school to get radiology certificates.
• Multiple references to the stress of balancing work, school, and parenting for all parties.

4. Financial Dynamics and Integration Challenges

• [13:56–19:03]
  • Ella remains financially independent but is considering integrating her finances.
  • There is anxiety and hesitation about combining, especially for Ella, who’s used to independence.

    “I have trouble letting go. I’ve always been in control of my own money.” – Ella [18:50]

  • Alice is the de facto “household CFO,” but her control is questioned:

    “You’re very dominating. The one who makes no money handing out allowances… you’re very controlling.” – Caleb [23:14]

  • Joey admits he has avoided being involved in finances, which has led to “money anxiety.”

5. Debt Situation

• [19:54–49:09]

  • Total combined debt (including house): ~$551,000.

    • Mortgage: $437,911.
    • Other debts (credit cards, personal loans, etc.): $113,063.
    • Student loans, family loans, collections, medical debts, etc.

  • Alice and Joey had previously moved to New Hampshire, bought and sold property at a loss, and took out personal loans (“starting to feel like a pattern”).

  • Much of the debt is high interest (over 10%), and several payments are overdue.

  • Some credit cards are maxed out or over the limit; some loans are in collections or under debt relief.

    “Did you know you’re over the limit? … You’re saying ‘we know.’ He doesn’t know! Why do you say ‘we’?” – Caleb to Alice [43:35]

    “We’re behind on everything.” – Joey [97:22]

6. Spending and Budgeting Habits

• [46:49–108:13]
  • Massive overspending on “bullshit”—mostly fast food, eating out, and miscellaneous treats.

    “Going out to eat was $1,035 last month and you can’t make a $1,000 minimum payment on a credit card because ‘we paid our other bills’—that’s a bull excuse.” – Caleb [46:56]

  • Grocery spending is “bougie,” not frugal, and repeatedly called out.
  • Nearly all participants acknowledge impulse/guilt spending—for themselves and especially on their kids.

    “I cave when it comes to the kids… I know I do. I can’t really justify that.” – Alice [107:22]

  • Admission of “cope spending” in the face of stress, grief, and anxiety. Much of their lifestyle has failed to adjust to new realities post job/career and life disruptions.

7. Communication and Emotional Dynamics

• [51:04–70:03]
  • Joey admits to “shutting down” when confronted with financial stress.
  • Caleb repeatedly encourages Joey to take more responsibility rather than retreat.
  • Multiple moments where Alice’s dominance and comedic coping are recognized, but the need for collective accountability is stressed.

    "He was also asked on multiple occasions to be involved in the finances and he opted not to..." – Alice [68:18] "If you choose not to be involved, then it goes off the cliff. You got a bit of responsibility in there." – Caleb [53:19]

8. Long-Term Prospects and Potential Solutions

• [91:20–129:28]
  • The household is barely solvent given current income relative to debt and expenses (“We need 9,801, but only bring in 9,900—a $98/month surplus”).
  • Bankruptcy is discussed as a possible but last-resort option.
  • The only possible ways out:
    • Increase income (more work, side gigs, etc).
    • Radically cut spending, especially eating out.
    • All adults actively participate in financial decisions.

    “Looks like the only way forward is we’re going to do this Javier Milei style. We’re going to make big cuts.” – Joey [94:27]

  • Therapy is suggested for both financial anxiety and to improve communication.
  • Ella is almost out of her personal debt relief program but brings baggage from her previous relationship and some collections.
  • Ceremony/proposal moment: Alice gives Ella a ring in a symbolic commitment gesture [119:07-119:50].

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On financial integration:

• Alice: “Poorly. That's what we're really trying to figure.” [07:18]
• Caleb: “You’re very domineering. The one who makes no money handing out allowances… you’re very controlling.” [23:14]

On their debt shock:

• Caleb: “$550,974 – it's like $200,000 higher than you thought, Ella.” [21:19]
• Joey: “Oh, that's a lot larger of a number than I was hoping for.” [22:13]

On overspending:

• Caleb: “Going out to eat was a thousand thirty five last month and you say you can't make a thousand dollar minimum monthly payment on a credit card because you pay your other bills… that's a bull excuse.” [46:49]

Emotional toll:

• Joey: “I'm deployed to my f***ing life. I couldn't go and walk through the house to go to the bathroom. I'd piss outside so I didn't have to walk past my kids… I'm a ghost in my own reality to try and earn as much money as I can.” [48:24]

Proposed solutions:

• Joey: “Maybe I should be the one who's dealing with all this, and maybe Alice ought to be the one who's on a stipend.” [91:40]
• Ella: “Everything is achievable, but it does take a lot of work and discipline. And I would like to have a lot more say on, you know, saying no.” [113:52]

On dynamic:

• Caleb: “Are you sure they aren’t ‘cope loving’? Because sometimes people look for extra things when life is hard—are you sure that once life gets back to normal, the place for you is there as much as it is today?” [77:48]
• Alice (proposal): “Maybe there'll be more. Maybe we'll have a whole handful of rings.” [119:07]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Dynamic & Family Setup – [01:23–06:11]
• Parent/Grandparent Involvement – [12:04–12:32]
• Income and Debt Overview – [13:56–22:04]
• Financial Shock at Debt Total – [20:00–22:13]
• Mortgage & Housing Situation – [28:20–39:10]
• Patterns of Overspending & Eating Out – [46:49–56:02], [105:01–108:13]
• Relationship & Financial Control Dynamics – [23:14–24:19], [51:04–53:14]
• Emotional Reactions and Coping – [48:24–49:09], [69:06–70:03]
• Proposal & Commitment Symbolism – [119:07–119:50]
• Budget Breakdown and Feasibility – [122:35–126:32]
• Final Assessment & Financial Score – [129:27–130:16]

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Final Assessment

• Hammer Financial Score: 2/10 (generously rounded up)
  • Extreme debt load, disorganized finances, chronic overspending, minimal retirement, and household just barely covering minimum expenses.
• Key Action Points:
  • All adults must be equally engaged in finances.
  • Extreme, immediate spending cuts, especially on dining/impulse buys.
  • Increase household income by all possible means.
  • Consider therapy for anxiety and as a group.
  • Consider bankruptcy as a last resort after changing behaviors.

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Tone & Atmosphere

The episode mixes blunt financial critique and humor with moments of real empathy and vulnerability. Caleb is direct—often exasperated by the chaos—but never cruel. The trio shows good humor despite tough revelations, and while the relationship is unconventional, they’re honest about both their love and their issues. The household’s situation is dire but not hopeless—if radical accountability and cooperation replace the current cycles of avoidance and cope spending.

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For Listeners:

This episode will appeal to those interested in complex family structures, real-life financial struggles, and the intersection of relationship dynamics and money. If you’ve never heard a couples’ (or throuple’s) audit before, this episode is the definition of “unfiltered reality.”

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

Episodes of Financial Audit a week earlier. Check us out on YouTube. You know what she wants to do, guys? Has she discussed it with you? She wants everything to come into one account and then give you two allowances. The one who makes no money handing out allowances. That's.

[A]

That's not where I was thinking.

[C]

Yeah, I told you that before.

[B]

And you guys talked about bringing in a second dick. It would get more affordable.

[C]

Just a penis. You'd be a loved peanut.

[B]

Is this you guys again?

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Wow. Okay. Everything is done.

[A]

I don't have any credit cards open.

[B]

Why would you want to come into this? Do you just want to combine so that we have her income?

[D]

Caleb, you mind if I take a second?

[B]

Can you guys take a second? Thank you.

[C]

He's probably going to need time before.

[B]

He comes back on.

[C]

He's going to shut down.

[B]

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[A]

Hi, I'm Ella, 31.

[D]

I'm Joey. I'm 37.

[C]

And I'm Alice, 34. And we're from Tucson, Arizona.

[A]

And this is the financial audit.

[B]

The financial audit. We're here. What the. I have never experienced anything like this before. I'm gonna need someone to just tell me what the. This is.

[C]

So this is.

[B]

Educate me, please.

[C]

This is polyamory at its finest.

[B]

I did. Yeah, I pick that part up. The who's doing what and what's going on.

[A]

We're doing each other.

[C]

Yeah, we're. We're all together in this together.

[B]

Maybe my brain is very binary. Maybe my brain's very binary. I'm trying to figure this out. Is anyone married who's been de. Someone's married?

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Who's married?

[C]

We are married.

[B]

You're married?

[C]

Yes. That's our girlfriend.

[B]

You don't. So, okay. You're third wheeling on a permanent basis.

[C]

No, it's okay.

[A]

I know What?

[C]

I am very proud. No, no, no.

[B]

Nor do you get legal protections if this thing goes sideways.

[D]

No, the state doesn't recognize or condone any of this.

[C]

Doesn't recognize anything ever. But Joey here is a big softie and if anything ever went wrong, he would still take care of her.

[B]

Or he wants double the holes. I don't know. But how long have you guys been married? How long have you guys been together?

[C]

We've been together about 11 years.

[B]

Cool. How long have you been in this?

[A]

So I met them about six years ago.

[B]

Were they like looking at you across a bar.

[A]

Internet wise? Yeah.

[B]

What was it, a poly site or something?

[A]

Oh, was. It's OkCupid.

[C]

Right. I think it was a Plenty of fish. One of those things.

[A]

It's a hot one for poly couples.

[B]

Yeah. You've been with them for six years.

[A]

I've been with them officially for two years.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

But we kind of dated on and off for like six years.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

How's this dynamic? Because this is a financial audit with a lot of paper to be very clear. A lot of paper that's mostly ours. What is the dynamic?

[A]

I don't think we have one quite yet. That's kind of.

[B]

Huh?

[C]

Yeah, that's kind of why we're here. We want, before anything gets to a point of super serious, we want to get this figured out because like we're in this for the long haul.

[B]

This isn't how cuz.

[C]

Not legally, financially and she's. She wants to be with us and we want her to be with us, so.

[B]

Well, I'm a pretty open minded dude. I'm just a little lost. Yeah, this has never been my thing. Personally I'd rather be.

[C]

But have you tried it?

[D]

Well.

[B]

Oh, wow. Oh, she's still going. Oh, now they're all going. Okay. Wow. Okay. Whew.

[C]

We got em flustered. Guys, now's our time. Take over.

[D]

I just must the government approve of everything you do in your life?

[B]

No, but that's where a lot of legal protections come from.

[D]

Yeah, I recognize that.

[C]

We don't plan on having children together. We're all done having kids, so.

[B]

Oh, there are already kids.

[C]

There is already kids. Yeah.

[B]

What's the kids situation?

[C]

So we have three children and she has.

[B]

What's the. Oh, you two together?

[C]

Yes, us together.

[B]

They live at home?

[C]

Yes.

[B]

What do they think of mommy number two? They do. They call her Second mommy.

[C]

Yes, they love her.

[B]

Now what do they call her?

[D]

They've got cute nicknames.

[C]

They got nicknames.

[A]

One of them calls me Syrup.

[B]

Syrup.

[D]

Yes, because she's just so sweet.

[C]

Yes. Syrup is definitely the favorite. So. Yeah, we. Yeah, they, they really do. They adore, Adore her.

[B]

How old are Those kids? Those three?

[C]

Sixteen, nine and two.

[A]

And then I have a 13 year old and.

[B]

Wait, do you guys all live together?

[D]

Sure.

[B]

Do you. How long have you all three lived together?

[C]

About a month.

[B]

What the. Why is that so new?

[C]

Whoa.

[B]

Okay. And what did the 13 year old move in?

[C]

Yes, she moved to this house. She's been living there. She's been living there about like three months.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

And we're not the only occupants.

[B]

And what does the 13 year old think? Since, you know, they're like, obviously there's a, you know, they're together more officially. You're kind of there.

[A]

They've known. Well, they've known for them as long as I've known them. Like our kids have all kind of.

[B]

Grown up together and the 16 year old really doesn't think it's interestingly odd.

[C]

The 16 year old probably loves her more than he loves, if we're being honest, because she's a gamer, like a big gamer. And so is he. And so they just connect on that level and like the pieces.

[B]

If you get more and more parents, one of them is bound to like video games and I do too.

[C]

But he's just like way on. On that, that level with her, so. Okay.

[B]

And again, this is financial audit. I don't really give a. You guys do. Trying to learn the diet.

[C]

Gives a what we do.

[B]

No, not at all.

[C]

They make it a point to give a what we do.

[B]

No, I mean, I'm curious. I don't care. As in like do what you want to do. It's fine. Like, I'm not going to, you know, freak out. But this is financial audit. We care about the finances with this and this is a very curious situation and I'm just, I'm really trying to learn the dynamics. So tell me, what are the. How do. How do the finances work in this collection right now?

[C]

Poorly. That's what we're really trying to figure.

[B]

Well, okay, less of an answer. I'm more trying to understand how is it currently going on, what is happening?

[A]

So I'm pretty separate from things at.

[C]

This point at the moment.

[B]

Okay. Clearly. Come on, you're a mole on the relationship, then. No, if she's separate, if she's not married, if she just moved in, like, you guys are on tier three, she's on tier two. Sure.

[A]

I'm on a different level.

[B]

We're looking at how do you feel about that? That must not be great. I wouldn't be very confident.

[A]

I. I've always been in control of my own finances, so I know letting.

[B]

Yeah, I'm talking about in the relationship. Dude, we want that. Wouldn't feel very confident in my status of the relationship.

[C]

We honestly want everything more integrated, so I.

[B]

You sleep in the same bed?

[C]

Yes.

[B]

What size bed?

[C]

It's a king, but we're looking at bigger one. Yeah, so we. We used to have two king beds put together, which was fantastic. And we're going to do that again eventually, but right now, it's just not. It's not in the cards. So it's just very cozy. Very cozy.

[A]

In a million degrees.

[B]

Lindsay. Are these people real?

[C]

These people are real.

[B]

Oh, we were cute, too. All right, well.

[C]

So, yeah, I like taking care of my woman. I do.

[B]

And what about your man?

[C]

I take care of him in different ways.

[D]

That's. That's.

[B]

What are you. Have they gone lesbian and they're pushing you out? What's happening?

[C]

Listen, I've always been a lesbian. It's fine.

[D]

Do all the work.

[C]

He's a very pretty lady.

[B]

Wait, are you the. All right, all right. Let him talk. Let him talk. Oh, okay. Oh, she's. Noises constantly, huh?

[C]

Always.

[D]

Yeah, it's endless. You really think that you're getting one thing and life comes at you from a different angle? Are you married?

[B]

No.

[D]

Well, first off, mazel tov. Second of all, when you get there, you think to yourself, like, oh, there's gonna be a woman around all the time who cares about me. Loves about. It's just dirty clothes. It's a lot of dirty clothes. There's a lot of reasons why not.

[B]

Living with me, not married.

[D]

But how's a close situation?

[B]

Very organized and clean and nice.

[D]

Put a ring on it. You'll see the difference.

[C]

He got with barn animals. We are. We are problems.

[B]

I wasn't gonna say it.

[C]

Well, somebody had to. So, anyways. Yeah, no, I. I like.

[B]

Are you the breadwinner?

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Do they work?

[C]

Yes.

[B]

I guess I haven't answered that question. Let's go left to right. Else, what do you do?

[C]

So I did own a coffee shop. We had. We had. We had to sell it. We opened.

[B]

Why?

[C]

Well, we opened over a year ago. A few months after we opened, my sister passed away. Okay, so then why did it not.

[B]

Open back up when you came back?

[C]

So it did open back up when we came back. And then the three weeks after the. The funeral, I got into a car accident and my car was Totaled.

[B]

Why? What are you doing?

[C]

I was stopped waiting on the car to turn and a lady rear ended me going like 60.

[B]

It's kind of like back day here.

[C]

Back end. So.

[B]

Sandwiched.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

So what do you do for a living?

[C]

So now I do ghost tours. And I am a teacher's aide.

[B]

Okay. I assume the second one is what makes your income.

[C]

Actually, no.

[B]

The ghost tours pays more per hour or net.

[C]

So it's actually per job.

[B]

Per job or net? Which one do you make more money from?

[C]

Net net would be the ghost tours.

[B]

Okay, so what hits your account on a monthly basis? So jobs.

[C]

Both jobs. About 1500.

[B]

I guess this is how to make it in single income households. Not enough. Dual income household, maybe. Not enough anymore.

[C]

Not in this economy.

[B]

Bring in a third and all of a sudden you got a triple income household. Yeah, I guess it's the way to do it.

[C]

And we actually have a quadruple income household.

[B]

No. What?

[C]

So my.

[B]

What are you bringing in a guy? Well, hopefully to balance it out.

[C]

That would be great. So.

[B]

Oh, you want to quad it?

[C]

We are looking.

[B]

Do you guys actually want to quad it?

[C]

That would be great.

[B]

So you weren't good enough. They're moving on.

[A]

No, it's okay, I get it.

[C]

No, no. Not moving on. Moving together.

[A]

It's about sharing the love. It's not one person love another. We love everybody.

[C]

We love all of them.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

So if you're looking and you think we're cute.

[B]

Okay, so what is this quad? What's the quad? You said there's a fourth income, so.

[C]

The fourth income is. Actually my parents.

[B]

They live there.

[C]

They live there.

[B]

What is this house? How big is this thing?

[C]

About 2,000 square feet. Oh, no. About five acres.

[B]

Insane, huh?

[A]

About five acres.

[B]

Well, the acres is okay, but it's not like people are sleeping outside.

[D]

I've considered it.

[B]

Yeah. What do your parents think of the.

[C]

Oh, they hate it. They're very religious.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh, wow.

[B]

And they live there with you coming on in. What?

[C]

The crazy part is they actually love her.

[D]

They love her individually.

[C]

Individually? They like to think of her as a friend.

[A]

Coping.

[C]

Coping.

[A]

Coping.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, good. Okay. Okay. What do you do, Joey?

[D]

I teach.

[B]

Cool. What do you make? Well, hits your accountant about 80. What, 90, I think it was.

[C]

I think it went down to 80, didn't it?

[D]

Give or take.

[B]

Ish.

[C]

Yeah, about it.

[B]

No, no. A month.

[C]

What hits 40?

[B]

Are you the one that runs the household? You definitely seem like the pants.

[C]

Yeah, I run the household.

[B]

Yeah, I'm getting that vibe. You're Domineering the conversation. The airflow is filled with your noises.

[C]

I have so many noises. Those aren't even all of my noises.

[B]

I don't want to hear the rest of. Oh, you. Okay, so what hits about.

[C]

About 44.

[B]

Good. All right. And I guess this will take about 33% longer because there's 33% more people in this relationship, so.

[A]

I was actually doing housekeeping for a hospital, but I just recently switched back to nursing assistant.

[B]

What do you make?

[A]

It's about 20 an hour. I don't know at this point, usually it's like 40 hours. I haven't started.

[B]

What has the account? Well, it's separate still. So you don't know?

[C]

I don't know yet.

[B]

Do before you moved in, what did you guys talk about? Finances. Before she moved in.

[C]

We did, yeah.

[A]

Making 25 an hour plus. Well, plus differentials.

[B]

What are we knowledgeable about the financial situation. What are your knowledge about their financial situation before you're lumping on in?

[A]

I know that they have a lot of debt.

[C]

Yeah, we went over it.

[A]

I don't hide over the debt part of it.

[C]

I don't.

[B]

You know the number?

[A]

Not the exact numbers.

[B]

Okay. What do you guys know about her financial situation?

[C]

I'm very well aware.

[B]

What is it?

[C]

It's a few thousand, as far as I'm aware.

[A]

I have one for 10,000 and then like a couple of little ones.

[C]

Little ones? Yeah.

[B]

Of course. You're wearing a pineapple shirt. You flee.

[C]

So we actually picked a shirt for.

[B]

Him today, I'm sure. Okay. What do you know about either sides of the finances?

[D]

I can't express enough that I have tried to live my life in a way where I don't have to think about money. And money has come chasing me. My goal has always just been to earn as hard as I can, as much as I can.

[B]

But what if it just goes out the door? Then you have to earn more.

[D]

Yeah, that's really come up on me. And Alice over here takes care of all the numbers. Or is that working?

[B]

Apparently guys have a ton of debt. According to Ella.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah. It's a. It's been a rough couple of years, and so, no, I. I know almost nothing. So everything. You probably know more about my situation than I do.

[B]

At this point, I don't know anything. Yeah. Other than you guys together. I don't know how much you're still.

[C]

And you still probably know more.

[B]

Okay, so you don't know what hits your account from this job?

[A]

Not yet, no.

[B]

Okay, so 20 bucks an hour. No income tax in Arizona, Right. Is there?

[C]

Yeah, there is. Yeah.

[B]

Must be relatively low.

[C]

Yeah, they. They just readjusted everything to like a. A flat percentage and I don't remember what it was. Yeah.

[B]

Okay. All right. Times that by 52, assuming some time off, $41,600 a year. Divide that by 12. I'm going to guess it's about $3,000 a month.

[A]

That's not right.

[C]

Yeah, that's not about right. Yeah.

[B]

So why are you the one running the household finances when you make dick compared to them?

[C]

Cause he can't do it. He won't do it. So when we first met.

[B]

Well, why aren't you making anything?

[C]

What do you mean?

[B]

You're making nothing. You're barely contributing to the house.

[C]

Oh. Cause I take care of the kids and I do all of the other things.

[B]

You're a stay at home mother. Sometimes, yep. Sometimes.

[C]

Yep.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

Is there a button on there for stay at home mother?

[B]

I'm pushing it right now. And that's only equally and even with you guys three together making a lot less than a lot of guests on this show. And at $8,900 a month now, it's not bad, but that's with three incomes. And that's. That's n. That's 106. I mean, 106 is great, especially for dual household income. Have no idea where it fits in terms of a triple household income, but you'd think it'd be a bit higher. And it's cuz you're not contributing very much if we're being completely honest. But if you are contributing, taking care of the kids, that is considered contributing something for sure. Just monetary wise.

[C]

Yeah, I do a lot of cooking, cleaning.

[B]

But why aren't the grandparents taking care of the kids?

[C]

She does when I am working.

[B]

So work more and have her take care of the kids more.

[C]

She can't handle it right now.

[A]

Her bandwidth is so bandwidth.

[C]

After my sister passed away, she kind of lost it. And then we also had her mother pass away very quickly after that. And then after that we had my nephew pass away, so we had three.

[B]

She had therapy. Where is she now?

[C]

No, she's just.

[B]

How old is she?

[C]

She's handling it. She's 60.

[B]

Okay. She's not handling.

[C]

She's not handling it.

[B]

No.

[C]

So we have.

[B]

She's not contributing to the house.

[C]

She is another way.

[B]

And papa, he works. What? Okay, what's he bringing in?

[C]

He's. He's pest control.

[B]

Is he included in the household income? Like how does this work?

[C]

So they pay their own. So they just pay a flat rate every month. So. Okay.

[B]

Are you bringing in debt into this relationship?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So how much debt do we think we have across the board? If you know the finances and if you know the finances, what do you guys think? Now that we are a combined household, where are we trying to get triple combined finances?

[C]

In a perfect world, we would like something where like all the bills go into one account and then they don't.

[B]

View you as equal.

[C]

What?

[B]

Cause you're not doing that. And you said in a perfect world. I asked if we want to and you didn't even. The answer would have been yes.

[C]

Well, yeah, I do. But it's.

[B]

You just said in a perfect world we do all this. Meaning, Meaning what people say after in.

[C]

A perfect world is, but no, this isn't me. This isn't me. This is getting her on board. So in a perfect world, I would like all of the bills to go into one account and then we have a savings account for in case of an emergency.

[A]

And then I have trouble letting go. I've always been in control my own money. So like letting.

[B]

Why are you getting into an uncontrolled situation by far? Oh, not a very secure situation legally. Nor.

[A]

I mean I won't lose anything.

[C]

Other.

[B]

Than housing and relationships and yeah. Siblings to your child and.

[C]

But that can happen in a normal relationship anyway.

[B]

But there are legal protections and when divorces happen and there are kids situations.

[C]

Yeah, but in those legal protections, how many people really stick to them like legitimately?

[B]

Well, a court would hold them to it if they don't.

[C]

Sorry. Sure, sure they would.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Just like my dad paid child support. Sorry. I cope with inside joke for you.

[B]

Guys that we're all so aware of.

[C]

But no, like it's legitimately. The, the, the government's not good at.

[B]

Doing their job and well, we all know that. What's the combined debt? If we're combining, what's the combined debt?

[C]

Are we, are we talking with the house?

[B]

We can get rid of the house. Let's keep the house in there. What's the combined debt?

[C]

I would probably say somewhere close to 500.

[A]

Okay, that's. That's not where I was thinking.

[B]

What were you thinking?

[A]

I was closer to like 300,000.

[C]

No, cuz the house is more than that.

[A]

Is it?

[C]

Yeah, I told you that before. Yeah, nobody listens to me. They just hear me talk and they just like, they.

[B]

It's because you don't do anything other than talk.

[C]

I know that's True.

[B]

Spoiler alert. When that's all you do. Yes. People will stop listening.

[C]

Are you stopping listening? Cuz you seem. You seem to be.

[B]

550,974. Oh, she's not even letting me say the number.

[C]

Okay, I was close. Okay, I was close.

[B]

Did you guys hear the number? Cuz she's just making noise.

[A]

Could you mind repeating that one?

[B]

Yes. There we go.

[C]

Speak up.

[B]

Okay. Should I put her in another room so we can have a conversation? What's happening?

[D]

I don't know anything. So unfortunately wouldn't be much of a conversation.

[B]

Uhhuh. 509. $74 higher than you both thought.

[C]

That's about right about where I thought it was going to be.

[B]

Oh, it's $50,000 higher. Why is it. Why do you think it's higher than. Well, why do you think it's higher? Substantially higher than what you thought. That you're getting into a whole situation.

[A]

Didn't think about the house and how much it was. I know, I know you guys payments are quite high.

[B]

Your guys is your guys. See, this doesn't feel like what you guys are setting this up as a true trio. It isn't. It is a duo and you're barely involved in an official capacity.

[D]

Yeah, we just. We only just moved in about a month ago and these things kind of matriculate as they do.

[B]

It's. What's your opinion on all this? $550,000 of debt. You had no idea? What do you think?

[D]

Oh, that's a lot larger of a number than I was hoping for. I. I suppose I.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Sorry.

[B]

Okay. What the.

[D]

No, it's that.

[B]

No, not you. Her. She's like rubbing your tits.

[D]

Yeah, well, sorry.

[C]

She's not doing great.

[D]

Money gives me anxiety.

[B]

Really? Yeah, big anxiety. It seems scary.

[D]

The other day she was trying to tell me about money that I had earned and just hearing that I had earned money was giving me Ajita.

[B]

And is this why she wants to implement her method? Yes, her Alice method?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, she wants to do guys. Has she discussed it with you? Discuss it with the producer?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

She wants everything to come into one account and then give you two allowances? Yeah. That's a little weird. The one who makes no money handing out allowances. You're very controlling. Domineering.

[C]

I'm domineering? Yes. Controlling, not so much.

[B]

Guys, is she controlling?

[D]

I'm not allowed to say that. She is.

[C]

No. Domineering, Absolutely. I do. I do that mostly for. For his sake because he doesn't want anything to do with it. Like, he just doesn't.

[B]

And for a new girl.

[C]

We are still working on it. And like, I'm. I'm willing to like, work.

[B]

How do you feel about that? You've been independent your whole life. Now she wants to give you an allowance.

[A]

Oh, yeah, that's. That's hard. I do like, contribute. Contributing based on percentages. Like, I make this much. Here's how much I can put forward. Which I kind of like threw out there a little bit.

[B]

Thoughts on that, Alice?

[C]

I know that Joey's gonna make more until we're done with school.

[B]

School?

[C]

Yes, school.

[D]

Who's.

[B]

Were the kids or you guys?

[C]

No, us.

[B]

You guys. Both of you are in school?

[C]

We are both applied for school.

[B]

For what school?

[C]

Pima Radiology. Department Radiology.

[B]

Both of you want to do that?

[C]

Correct.

[A]

I've been on. I've been wait listed for like five years at the other school.

[C]

Just switched.

[B]

Oh, that's. That's wonderful. Okay, listen. I mean, you guys bring in an average of like 9,000 bucks a month. What do you. What do you think? The household last month, in example, went out. What was spent? And this does include interest accruing and things, but what was spent?

[C]

Oh, I have to say, probably four or five thousand.

[B]

Okay. What would you think?

[A]

It's got to be more than that.

[C]

Yeah, I think more than that.

[A]

Yeah. You guys, you still use the credit.

[C]

Oh, yeah, no, I haven't used the credit card.

[B]

Oh, we'll see about that.

[C]

I use. I use. There's interest accrued on the credit card. There's that. Yeah, yeah. No, you're right. It's probably closer to six.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, 17,000, $209 going out. Oh, yeah, absolutely. You betcha. Do you get VA disability?

[D]

No, sir.

[B]

Interesting. First in the history of financial audit. Okay, that certainly would have helped the numbers a bit. So what are we trying to do? What are we trying to accomplish? Because I'll help anyone try to accomplish whatever their financial mission is. What are we talking about?

[C]

Integrating finances in a better, healthier way. We want to get out of this debt. I want. I know for myself. I want us to be on a healthy footing, especially financially.

[A]

Yeah. And I. Since I brought the debt in from outside, you know, previous life experiences, I don't want to bring it in and have them pay for it. I'd rather cover it myself and then any debt. I mean, hopefully.

[B]

So we're still viewing it. Theirs and mine. Theirs and mine, theirs.

[C]

I've already told her.

[A]

I know I have to let it go.

[C]

A lot of trouble letting so willing to help cover anything if we get there before she gets.

[B]

Are you both by?

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay, that helps. Okay, I'm going to go three, two, one, go. Oh, I'm going to go three, two, one points on points. I want you all at the exact same time to give me what you think your household financial score is 0 to 10, 0 being the absolute worst, 10 being the absolute best. Okay, 3, 2, 1, 1, 0. Okay. 0, 1, 2. Gotcha. Ladies and gentlemen, if you want your financial score, take the assessment for [e-mail] see where you stand in the world of finance to see where you need to improve, see where you're doing well. And don't forget my favorite budgeting app is the dollar wise budgeting app. Make sure you download it. If you don't want to be like a guest who ends up on this show. Sign up, take the trial and if you like it, save a lot of money by switching to the annual version. And if you do, I will sign our budget friendly cookbook and I'll mail it directly to you. Join the tens of thousands of other people who have already. Okay, you can learn more about [e-mail] let's jump into this. You're just gonna have to tell me whose accounts are whose as we go on because this is a lot of confusion. Okay, the am I seeing? Oh, this looks like a mortgage. This one's chunky. And this is 3,000 bucks without your ink. Hold on. Okay, $3,100.17 divided by the what was coming in when it was just YouTube until this last month. What was that? 6,000 bucks? I mean the math is pretty darn close, but yeah, 50, 52% of our household was going to mortgage. That's crazy. And now, okay, we're at 8,900 we now it's still 34% pushing into not the most comfortable area, but you know, we're within reason especially if we're looking gross income. Did you only bring her in so we could afford the mortgage? No, because it's kind of what it feels like actually. It looks like on paper.

[C]

Don't want the house anymore. I didn't really want it from the beginning.

[B]

Why the do we have it? And a big ass 6% mortgage on.

[C]

Was actually supposed to be 7. They paid it down to 6.

[B]

You guys paid it down to 6?

[C]

No, no. Who paid it down to 6? The sellers paid it down to 6.

[B]

What the is this place?

[A]

It's chunky. It is a chunky, chunky Pavement.

[B]

It is in the absolute middle of nothing. Desert, surrounded by mountains. It's not a trailer home, but it kind of looks like a very long one.

[C]

It's all brick. Mexican brick.

[B]

But it's very narrow, isn't it? Very narrow, Very long, yes. Oh, Mexican brick. I'm glad we got diversity brick. Look, Private student loans can make you feel like you're one missed payment away from selling your grandma's heirlooms. We miss you, Grandma. Y Refi says chill out. No more sacrificing the family jewels. They don't reduce you to a credit number. They actually want to see if you actually plan on paying them. And by the way, they're providing interest rates under 6%, which is practically a unicorn in the student loan jungle. I mean, some lenders want to charge so much that you'd swear they're putting your firstborn on layaway. Tired of monthly payments so high you can't afford a single sweet treat? Y Refi has gotcha. They'll rearrange your payment plan, ease the monthly hit, and even let your poor co signer off the hook. Mom or dad can finally breathe. Oh, and if you think you'll just get stuck in a call center, guess what? 4.6 stars. And Google says why Refi actually picks up and treats you like a real human shocker, right? In finance, that's about as rare as me not slamming the desk every single episode. So if you're done fantasizing about robbing a bank, don't do that. By the way, check out why Refi. They're here to help you actually crush these loans without selling your kidneys on the black market. Head to yrefy.com hammer that is yrefi.com hammer or call 897-33978 that is 889-733-978 and see how a real personal approach can help you escape the private loan nightmare. Because let' Living with crippling debt until you're 90 is not the retirement plan you dreamed of. If you've googled, learn how to code more than three times this month, it is time to stop searching and start training. There's a reason you keep bouncing around. Most programming courses just teach theory, leaving you to figure out how to practice on your own. If you're tired of stumbling your way through clunky dev courses, no closer to a six figure dev job than the last time you watched a free python tutorial on YouTube, I I've got something for you. It is called boot.dev and it's hands down the best way to learn how to code in a way that actually prepares you for the real world. Boot.dev is the only platform I found that actually trains you instead of just having you memorize syntax. Every lesson is followed by a coding challenge that feels more like playing a video game than taking a test. It's like if Duolingo in the gym had a baby built for backend developers. Python, JavaScript, go zero fluff. Just skill building hands on coding reps that train your brain to actually think like a developer. And their new training ground feature lets you work on smaller problems until you're confident enough to handle the next lesson. It's like grinding in video games to get enough XP for boss fights. That way, even when you're stuck, you're having fun. I never thought I'd be able to learn anything like coding, but boot.dev makes it addicting. So you want to code. Cool. Stop googling and start training. Go to boot.dev and use code calebhammer to get 25% off your entire first year on the annual plan. Very outdated. So for considering selling it, that makes me a bit nervous. I mean, you know, old carpet, old kitchen.

[C]

Believe it. Oh my gosh.

[B]

So there's what, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 humans living in this house?

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Standby. Yeah, I think nine. I think that's right.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Nine. That's insane. This is not a big enough house for that. No, listen, people need. People desire bigger houses than they need all the time in this country. You guys. Larger house would be how many beds? Three beds, two bath. How do we fit? Nine. What are we doing? We're bunking. People are bunking.

[C]

There was also a large office space that we turned into a bedroom.

[B]

Okay, that helps.

[A]

And mom is getting her. Is up fixing up her own trailer.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Calling her mom, huh?

[A]

I call her mom.

[C]

She calls her mom. Yeah.

[B]

Does mom accept that mom prefers Mom?

[C]

Yeah, she prefers.

[B]

Even though she hates that you guys.

[C]

Are a mom and grandma are her preferred terms.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Even though she hates that you guys are a thoroughfare.

[C]

Oh yeah, I know it's a lot.

[B]

Just fixing up her trailer to live. Are we selling it if you don't want it? I mean, what's our. What are we trying to do here?

[C]

The goal is to sell it and grandma and grandpa understand that as well. But there is a trailer casita that they're fixing up on it currently.

[B]

They're going to live in a trailer on a property that you're not going to own.

[C]

Well, they, when it sells, then they'll get whatever. Whatever's left over, basically.

[B]

Huh? What do you mean whatever left over from.

[C]

From the cell. Like what's owed on the house?

[B]

Why would they get that? Do they own the house and you guys. No, but hold on. Who has the house? Who's this? Who's the name?

[C]

They would get paid back on whatever because they put all the money into the casita on the, on the property. So the casita, it's another word for like a small property. Like a. So the trailer is like an extra like mother in law apartment, essentially.

[B]

So they get the money for the trailer?

[C]

Yeah, basically.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Once it sold.

[B]

$437,911.06 with a minimum payment of $3,100 and 17 cents.

[C]

You want to sell and we want to sell.

[B]

You want to sell?

[D]

It looks like I don't have much of a choice now, doesn't it?

[B]

Well, I feel like you should be allowed to have at least a say. Is this relation like, I understand you guys love each other. It feels like the dynamic is not very fair. Does this opinion not matter in this?

[D]

Well, I would say my opinion doesn't matter against those numbers now, does it? Well, I can sit there and you.

[B]

Guys can afford the mortgage now with a threesome. And you guys talked about bringing in a second dick so they would get more affordable.

[C]

Just a penis. You'd be a loved penis.

[B]

Big idiot. Your opinion on selling the house you.

[A]

Just moved into, just based on the numbers, that's astronomical.

[B]

Even at what is the minimum, monthly? Well, where would you guys go? What would you do? This is. A lot of people are trying to.

[A]

House, like looking at the market and compared to the other houses, this is ridiculous.

[B]

Well, looking at the market, it's currently. Oh, it's sold. Okay. What's it. Yeah, I mean, you guys would break even after fees and commission, maybe even lose money. So.

[C]

Yes, so it does have a couple of upgrades.

[B]

Barely have any equity in it. Yeah, a couple of what are the upgrades?

[C]

So it has the. It's going to have the second property on it and it also is going to have solar on it.

[B]

Okay, that doesn't really translate very well. It really does. That does not translate in the cell.

[C]

Of a house and then the bathroom.

[B]

In fact, a lot of people pick up and move their stuff.

[C]

The bathroom is upgraded as well. It's going to be upgraded.

[B]

Okay. Bathroom and kitchen definitely holds the weight the most. So you don't even get a ring. You see that? You see how they're both wearing one. You don't you see what's happening? Okay, but I think. Well, actually, especially if you renovate the kitchen and it doesn't move the needle very much, you guys are going to lose money based on what you put in and. And walk away from. Then you got to pay the parents based on what they put in. What did the parents put in so far?

[C]

So far, I think. I think it's somewhere around 10.

[B]

So you have to pay them 10 off of this. So then, yeah, I mean, you guys are going to. Where are you coming up with the extra 20,000 hours that you're likely just going to have to pay out of pocket if you sell this house? You guys can't sell this house. You're in a position. Where is the selling this house guy doesn't even want to sell the house. So you got lucky that the numbers don't make sense to sell the house.

[D]

Well, you know, thank God for miracles like this, huh?

[B]

Yeah, I'd say so. Wow. This really is absolutely. Whoa. There is no. Oh, my gosh. There is nothing nearby. The closest thing is just the country of Mexico, but still nothing there. Oh, my gosh. You guys are. How the. Do you guys even have jobs? That's crazy. What are our commutes? This is crazy. How are you upgrading the kitchen because you guys have no money? Or bathroom because you guys have no money? There's this debt stacked upon debt. How are we possibly doing that?

[C]

So my mom is actually doing it.

[B]

So is that included in the 10, or is that going to be additional? Okay, so again, that's still like $20,000. You're gonna have to come out, like, you're gonna have to do probably 6% for, you know, Realtor commission on both ends, you know, 3% each. Now it can be less, and now it can be paid by this buyer, but we're in a buyer's market, so good luck with that. It's going to be paid by you, and that's if you even get it for what Zillow is estimating. And then usually they're pretty nice about their values. Okay, we have not listed. When were we attempting to listen?

[A]

I don't know if this was ever actually gone through more than you know.

[B]

Where do you guys want to go.

[C]

Cheaper?

[B]

Just what can you get that fits as many people that's cheaper?

[C]

Same area cheaper. So my mom actually. They have a piece of property, so aren't they on that that's where they want to build?

[B]

So. But they've already built on yours.

[C]

Yeah, Everything kind of everything.

[B]

Yeah, everything's.

[C]

Yeah, absolutely. So it went haywire.

[B]

Makes sense.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

What with the deaths.

[C]

With everything. Yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I think it was pretty much when you guys moved to New.

[B]

Why did you even get this house if we didn't want it?

[C]

So the property wasn't supposed to be for them. The property was supposed to be for my nephew, so. And the one you bought, the one that they bought.

[B]

I don't give a. About that one. Why'd you guys buy this when you didn't want.

[C]

Well, that's why they. They didn't move on to that property.

[B]

Why'd you buy this house when you did not want to?

[C]

Because he wanted this house.

[B]

He wanted this house.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay, so we did want this house, huh?

[C]

I asked to back out of the.

[B]

House, and he said no. Oh, you at least put your foot down in something.

[D]

Yeah. Well, look at what could have stunned us.

[B]

Well, you're more just locked in for a little bit. I mean, again, with the triple income you do, it's in the gray zone.

[D]

That's good news. I'll take the wins where we can get them before this. And I'm not trying to point any elbows, but her mother has a habit of buying horrible, rundown property, fixing it about halfway up, and then things sideways for one reason or another. And this has been a feature. It's not a bug. It's a feature. And so we were living in one of those after trying to come back from New Hampshire, and that one was.

[B]

You guys own in New Hampshire.

[C]

We did own in New Hampshire.

[D]

We did. That was also a good loss.

[C]

That was a loss.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

So no offense, why New Hampshire to the literal middle of nothing.

[D]

Well, so around that time, my job was experiencing a lot of cuts. Like, a lot of cuts. And Covid was just heating up. And I'm an insane libertarian, and New Hampshire's the libertarian capital of America. So I was like, I'm gonna be out of a job pretty soon is what I assumed. And I realized that I had just enough gas in the tanks to get us to wherever we were gonna crash land. That was all that was left.

[B]

That was New Hampshire.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

So you went from Arizona to New Hampshire.

[D]

That's right. And so I went and bought a place out there, kept the job, and I kept working. And the idea was to keep doing that until I'm not quitting. They're gonna cut me. Right. And so now I was juggling two payments for a little bit. I moved Alice out there. I didn't lose my job. I got a promotion, actually.

[B]

Oh, that's good.

[D]

That was. It was a. A surprise that I wasn't ready for. Sometimes there's good surprises, sometimes there's confusing.

[C]

Ones, and I was not supposed to.

[B]

Why'd we move back from New Hampshire, though?

[C]

Pregnant without medical intervention. And then I ended up pregnant.

[B]

It always finds a way. Just like you need to find a way to that microphone.

[C]

Yeah. So I ended up pregnant and there was no medical help. Within an hour drive from from where.

[B]

We live, you were in the middle of nowhere. New Hampshire as well, so not really.

[C]

We weren't that far from like Concord, but the issue is so many people had moved in.

[B]

Are you close to medical now?

[C]

Yes, there. Where there's a hospital. Either way, about couple hours, half hour.

[B]

What?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Surprising.

[C]

Okay, so.

[B]

So you moved back from medical?

[C]

We had to move back from medical and it. It ended up being a high risk pregnancy, so I had to. To move back. There was no option.

[B]

Okay. I'm okay with that. I don't. It didn't have to be a permanent move, but. Okay. Looks like it has resulted in. When we move, are we trying to go back to New Hampshire or stay in Arizona?

[D]

No, my. My job's here.

[B]

You like Arizona? Yeah.

[C]

I don't.

[B]

Well, no, of course not.

[C]

And she doesn't.

[B]

Well, no, of course not. It's a hot desert in the middle. I mean, if you guys were in lease, like Phoenix, where you could do things, it would be nice. Or like, you know, Flagstaff.

[A]

Yeah, it's pretty, but yeah, Flagstaff is gross.

[C]

I would be happy if we lived there. I'd be happy.

[B]

Sure. Instead, you live on a cactus.

[C]

Yeah, basically.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

A hot, hot cactus.

[B]

So.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay, well, mortgage only. Okay. Because she came in right now. If she didn't, it would be.

[C]

It's pretty. Yeah.

[B]

And whose name is the mortgage under?

[C]

Joey's and mine.

[B]

Okay. Platinum plus. Platinum plus of what? We owe $38,172.21. Who's. What?

[C]

When?

[B]

Where? What? What? The both of you, you're in it together?

[C]

All of our accounts are joints.

[B]

Just gonna call you guys. Okay. Well, this is insane.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You're over the limit. Did you know you're over the limit? I'm not trying to have you have more anxiety, but what the.

[C]

We know. We know.

[B]

You know. Do you know?

[D]

I didn't know.

[B]

He didn't know. Why are you saying we know he doesn't know. Why?

[C]

Why can you say I don't know any of it? I should say.

[B]

Well, then why Would you say we. That's not fair. How? You don't speak for him. He doesn't know what's going on, and the dude struggles with this.

[C]

Yeah, that's why I don't tell him. And technically he does know.

[B]

Why. Why would you say we stop speaking for him?

[C]

Because he's gotten phone calls. So he does know.

[B]

He might not know. What account might not know. Okay, what's going on with this card?

[C]

They're willing to settle on that one.

[B]

They're willing to settle for what?

[C]

For half.

[B]

Okay, so 38,000. Yeah. Half up front, probably. There's no way could afford half. In what world? $38,172.21. So it looks like we're stuck with this. I don't even know what the normal minimum you last. You paid.

[C]

It's about a thousand dollars.

[B]

That's the normal. You paid $200 last time. Thoughts on that? They paid. Oh, wait, 20% of the minimum payment.

[C]

Which one is that one? The 30.

[B]

38.

[C]

Yeah. 38,000. Yeah, that one's a. Right now it's a. It was 200. It went up and it's.

[B]

Did it just three periods end or something?

[C]

So when.

[B]

Oh, no. Hey, pause. What do you think your past do? Oh, what do you think their past do?

[A]

I have no idea.

[B]

You don't know? You're getting into this. Dude, you're flying into a hurricane right now. You have no idea. This is insane. This is insane.

[A]

Yeah, I don't know. I couldn't tell you.

[B]

What do you think, big guy? Ladies and gentlemen of Financial Audit, this is one of the most exciting moments in this channel's history. You know, I've been working on building all these educational tools, our budgeting app, all this crazy stuff of this past year, because that is where my passion is. We finally did it. And now we put it all into one program called Dollar wise Central. You get the premium version of my budgeting app. You get the cookbook mailed to you and signed by me. You get learn about debt investing, budgeting, real estate, basic beginner stuff, and finance all the way to the advanced stuff. Collaborated by experts with the lowest refund rate in the industry for a reason. And guess what? If you are struggling or you want to learn more or you want to change your life in any way whatsoever, like literal tens of thousands of people have done with our programs, go to Dollarwise.com, click that link below. Your life will change. It'll be incredible. And I am here for you with an incredible support team. That you can reach at any time. This is a no brainer. Dollarwise.com. let's go.

[D]

Let's rip that band aid off. How bad is it?

[B]

$3154. Past due. Past.

[D]

3000 past.

[B]

Why the possible, guys?

[C]

Because I was the only one we couldn't pay like we paid everything else because we didn't have enough money.

[B]

Why were you then going and doing things?

[C]

Because we're terrible at this.

[B]

No, see the real answer is because we blew our money. Not because, oh, we paid the things and we didn't have enough money. Guys, going out to eat, what do we think?

[C]

That's high thousand dollars.

[B]

It was a thousand dollars. It was a thousand thirty five. Going out to eat. And you say you can't make a.

[D]

Thousand dollars a month.

[B]

Yeah, that's you're going out to eat last month and you say you can't make a thousand hour minimum monthly payment on a credit card because you pay your other bills. You. That's a bull excuse. That is immaturity to its core. Miscellaneous bull. This could be video games. This could be anything like that. It's just extra whatevers. That is a thousand six hundred thirty dollars.

[D]

So now we are up six hundred.

[B]

Thousand six hundred thirty. So now we are up to bull minimum. Bull $2,660. $2,660 minimum on bull last month alone. Now there's more stuff in here. There's unknown shopping of about a thousand two dollars. Some might be bull, some might not be. I don't know.

[D]

We're gonna have to go through it.

[B]

Yeah, that's Walmart. Because you can get anything there. So it could be necessity. Yeah, we go through a lot of grocery shopping at Walmart and we'll go through those and we'll see other large purchases, things that didn't really fit in the category but were huge. That was $4,000. 4,000. That wasn't housing, that wasn't vehicles, that wasn't transportation, that wasn't groceries.

[D]

It was, I'll tell you in a month.

[B]

In a month. That was last month. In fact, that's what's going on. When you just let control go away, then anxiety will build and it will hit you like a bomb.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, it sure is. What the goes on? What the goes on?

[C]

Do you need a moment?

[D]

No, I'm, I, I, I, I'm at work all day. I was doing school all night. I had the GI bill where they pay me to go to school. It's a second job. It's a second job. The school's not helping me. There's no aspect of my life that's better for this. I'm deployed to my f. Cking life. I wouldn't. I couldn't go and walk through the house to go to the bathroom. I'd piss outside so I didn't have to walk past my kids because I knew they would take too long to see them and say, hi, I'm a ghost in my own reality to try and earn as much money as I can. What were those numbers?

[B]

It's not great.

[C]

Is this for just us or all three of us?

[B]

All three combined.

[C]

Okay, that's all three of us, but.

[B]

All the debt is combined as well.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Because if you say your ultimate goal is to combine, that's how we went off of it.

[C]

Yeah, that's fine. That's the only.

[B]

He asked a good question that I would like to hear your perspective. What the is going on?

[C]

1. Honestly, I valid from him, to be fair, I had a very strict budget for a very long time. I have an Excel spreadsheet. And these last two years since. Since getting. Honestly since getting pregnant, I. I couldn't handle life anymore. Couldn't do it. And I reached out for help, but he also couldn't do it. And we have been kind of drowning since. It was two mortgages and then it was a business and then it was a funeral.

[B]

And then buddy.

[C]

It's just been.

[B]

Buddy, this is cope talk.

[C]

It is.

[B]

He said. What the is going on? We went over minimum, $2,660 of bull. Minimum. Minimum. And that's what he's asking about. It's just. That's what. No, that's what he's been asking about. Not your past mortgage, double mortgage, your past, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. No, but it. Last month alone was 2,660 DOL. And it's likely closer to like three to 4,000. Okay. Because that's what we usually see. So what the is going on? If you're the one managing finances, why is it such a disaster? Why is it gone? Why is it obliterated? Why is guy out there working his off beating pavement for the money to just go completely out the door and he doesn't know and all of a sudden he has a panic attack because you just endlessly abuse your situation. Your situation where you get to control the entire thing. Give me a little bit of insight here. Nothing. No self reflection.

[C]

To be fair, I honestly don't know. I know.

[B]

No self reflection. What's your thoughts on this? Look, what's Going on over here. What's happening?

[A]

I think that they're both at Wood's end. One with family life and the other with work life, which I've been saying for some time now.

[B]

What's your solution to that?

[A]

Joey's not in school, so he doesn't have as much stress on his plate.

[C]

Now.

[A]

I'm hoping that having him involved more with the kids will help mom feel a little better. I also think that mom just needs to go back to work.

[C]

I do need to go. Well, I am back at work.

[B]

Well, what about this school thing that you guys just got into?

[C]

So waiting on an interview. And if I get that interview, it starts October 2020 and we can't work.

[A]

And I'm doing as much. At least I'm doing work in school. I done it before.

[B]

You have to.

[A]

Yeah, I've done.

[C]

But also with the. The eating out, I know a large portion of that is probably on Ella's plate.

[A]

I think I have, like.

[B]

But if our goal is 300 would be about her portion. If we're splitting it in thirds, by the way. But either way, either way, if we're trying to combine, this is what combined looks like. If that is our ultimate objective. This is what combined looks like.

[C]

When I'm doing all of the stuff out with the kids, everything's expensive. And so when they want something, I have. Things have been stressful at home and I cave. I do. I cave. When it comes to the kids. When they want to go and have McDonald's, I do it.

[B]

Well. You're making their future harder.

[C]

I am. And I understand that.

[B]

How you feeling, Joey?

[D]

I knew this was going to be rough. This. This is shocking.

[B]

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[D]

I'm sorry.

[B]

Okay, listen, buddy, a little bit of tough love here.

[D]

No, I.

[B]

You're staunch libertarian, so let me give you some Ron Swanson. Okay, thank you. This is all your choice. This is all personal responsibility. If you choose not to be involved, then it goes off the cliff. You got a bit of responsibility in there. And unfortunately, the only way to take care of your fiscal responsibility is to be involved and get in there. You gotta cut, you gotta cut that government spending in your budget. This is bloat. This is pig. This is pork. You got pork bloat going on here, buddy. And you're not collecting enough tax revenue because you gotta. She's getting tax subsidized right now. Okay. That's what's going on.

[D]

I, you know, I, I knew that there was a lot of interest. I knew there was a lot of stuff that got run up, but I'm borrowing from China a lot that's going on here. That doesn't make sense. There's a lot of numbers here.

[C]

I do know that a lot of the stuff that is like Walmart and all of that is going to be a lot of food. We have a huge, and I know this is a problem. We have a huge grocery budget with feeding a lot of people.

[B]

It wasn't that crazy. But even are your parents, what's your parents contributing? You said a flat rate. What is it?

[C]

A thousand dollars?

[B]

That helps highly doubt enough.

[C]

We buy most of the groceries. And so I do know if, when you see those Walmart charges, that's groceries. It's gonna be mostly groceries, kids, clothes, that sort of thing. But we probably are spending. I, I know every time I go to the grocery store I'm spending somewhere between 2 and $400 and I go twice a week.

[A]

May I chime in on this?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

The palate.

[B]

You have to ask permission in your house.

[A]

I just don't want to.

[C]

She doesn't like interrupting.

[A]

The food that, that is eaten in the house is a bit, it could be on the cheaper side. It is, it's on the bougie side. It is on the bougie side. I'm, I'm used to eating a lot.

[B]

Should you behind on a credit card. Why do we get to get the bougie groceries?

[D]

Excuse me. To correct. 3,000. 3,000 behind on a credit card?

[B]

Yeah, on the first. We've looked at one credit card. One credit card, yeah, 3,000.

[A]

I'm not saying that's gonna like cure everything, but I know little things and I, I, I know that I'm a problem too. I get fast food. I'm, I'm just as bad. But I do know that like some of the food it's like.

[C]

Yeah, we do.

[A]

You don't have to get like certain things. You, you could have a couple like, it could be a big struggle meal and it, you know, and still be good and not maybe not Delicious, but good enough.

[C]

We are giant foodies. And I. I know it's a problem. I do know it is a problem.

[B]

I'm just saying, look at what we are doing. When we're behind on credit cards, you say, oh, I made all my payments on everything else. So that's why I can't make this thousand dollars. $2,660 at a minimum. Minimum. Minimum. I'm. You could have almost made the entire back payment, and within two months, just by not having that bull, you would have. Okay, all right, what am I looking at here? I have no. It's a principal balance of 16,580 6,025 at an interest rate of 10. What am I looking at?

[C]

That is the loan. We got a personal loan. Yes.

[B]

Okay. Whose?

[C]

Ours.

[B]

You're on it together?

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Talking to the mic.

[C]

New Hampshire.

[B]

What? The New Hampshire what? What do you mean? Personal loan for New Hampshire?

[C]

It was to fix house that we got in New Hampshire, but then we ended up.

[B]

What did you buy the house for?

[C]

The price? I actually don't really. I think it was 140.

[B]

140?

[C]

I think.

[B]

So what did you sell it for?

[C]

135. So that loan ended up. Actually, you're right.

[B]

And you're going to do that again. You said her mom has the track record of going in and just getting properties you can't afford around and then selling it for, like, a loss. I think that's your guys's track record too.

[D]

It's starting to feel that way, isn't it?

[B]

Mm.

[C]

Our other two houses we sold in at a very nice profit.

[B]

Two for four.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

It's not a good batting record.

[B]

Okay, so this is a personal loan on a house that's long gone? Essentially, yes. That's insane already just hearing this conversation, Alice, so far, are you not nervous to get involved on this on a deeper level? Because. Oh, my. I would be.

[A]

I did hear a little bit about this.

[B]

Look what we've heard so far.

[A]

I, I recommended the show to them.

[C]

Really?

[A]

Yeah, because I was like, I know that they have some issues. And I started kind of watching the show, and I was like, oh, it's kind of getting back on track with my financial stuff. And I think that they really needed the help.

[C]

Yeah. And I was gung ho about it. Like, when she told me about it, we immediately signed up. Yeah.

[B]

And I know you almost didn't come on the show.

[D]

No, I, I. If I see an advertisement for a bank on my phone, I scroll very quickly past it.

[B]

I, I sympathize.

[D]

I've got really bad Ajita. And have you ever talked to someone.

[B]

About this, A therapist about this phobia? Because. No, no. Because you're libertarian doesn't mean you have to disagree with therapy.

[C]

Yeah, we've had. We've had this conversation.

[D]

I'm a libertarian and a pain in the ass.

[B]

Who knew? They usually go hand in hand. Yeah, your brain's a brain, dude. There's people who study it. There's some enablement therapists out there. There's some TikTok therapists out there. There's some people that will actually help. There's some good people you gotta shop around. And I don't think you probably have an extensive selection in your area. You might have to go virtual. But there are actual therapists that focus on a specific phobia like you have. I have one that focuses on mine. And I did a again. I told you about how I conquered it this weekend. That's crazy. Never thought I would. You can do that and it can be a whole other life on the other side.

[A]

I mean, at once he's informed. Like, it's the unknowing that's even more scary. I mean, yeah, it's stressful to know, but at least you have a goal and a way to progress. When you don't know, it's like, well, I'm crushed, but I don't know how crushed.

[C]

And like, I got us. I got us out of that the first time, but it wasn't so hard, you know?

[B]

First time you've gotten out of debt before.

[C]

So when I'm.

[B]

When.

[C]

When I met him, he also had.

[B]

Was that a. Is that what you said?

[D]

11 years ago?

[C]

11 years.

[D]

11.

[B]

11. Who's this? 16 year old? Was that from him?

[C]

No. So it's my sister's child.

[B]

Oh, okay. Sure. Why not? Yeah, that makes sense.

[C]

Okay, so.

[B]

So you got out of debt when you guys first met 11 years ago. Tell me about that.

[C]

So he didn't want me dealing with the finances. He was very much so. I can do it myself. But then we were getting a lot of red slips in the mail, and it finally came to a point where I'm like, this isn't gonna work. Like, you need to pay your bills. And so I found all of the bills, gathered them up, and it wasn't much. But then, yeah, we.

[B]

Then how did we not learn from our behavior there and not want to approach that same situation again? Because now we're there again. Yeah, but worse, probably.

[C]

It's way worse.

[D]

It's Way worse.

[C]

This has never happened to us before.

[A]

And over the six years, like they were making good money so they got into a certain type of lifestyle and I think they haven't adjusted.

[C]

We did.

[B]

Now it will.

[C]

Yeah, it will.

[B]

So $16,586.25 on a personal loan for a house we lost money on. Didn't. Okay, great. $353.89 is your minimum monthly payment with an interest rate of 10%. Yeah. Not beating the market with that one. If you're investing overall in the general stock market. Stock market. Listen, I mean I'll immediately. I'll get you guys a course career certification. If you don't get into the. You know, you all can have one. But prim for you, if you don't get into the school, try to get something there and get yourself a better job. Like that has increased people's incomes and got them into new career fields substantially.

[C]

Doesn't work. My. My backup is phlebotomy.

[B]

Okay, we'll get you guys the fizz card as well. It's a debit card that builds credit. So no more credit cards. Cuz look what you did with the first one. The platinum is insane.

[C]

I want them. I want them gone.

[B]

Okay, now I'm looking at a Visa signature.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Yes. Whose is this?

[C]

Us.

[B]

Both you guys are on together?

[C]

Yeah, all of us are together.

[B]

Feel very included.

[A]

Oh, maybe eventually.

[B]

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[C]

I don't think she wants to be included on this.

[A]

No, that's cleared up. No.

[B]

$7,203.35. Minimum monthly payment of $226. It's pretty close to maxed out your major minimum payment. Can someone pull up this card on their phone maybe? Because again, you're not sending statements here. You're sending a screenshot of a website. Yeah, this is for a cash rewards Visa signature. I need to see if there's any purchases. I need to see what's going on.

[C]

Is that banker, when you paid this.

[B]

Off, you took out a 401k loan to pay this off. So it wasn't even discipline. Right, Right.

[A]

I did know about that one.

[B]

Oh, for sake, guys, how much did we pull from. Whose 401k?

[D]

Who's 401k do you think it is?

[C]

Oh, we are past due on that one. I gotta pay that.

[B]

So this is.

[C]

This right here.

[B]

Is it yours? Of course. Why? Why of course to be yours? Well, because you would have contributed more, I assume. How much did you pull out?

[D]

How much should we pull up for? Mike?

[C]

I'm trying. I'm trying to think. Which one was that?

[B]

That was my Visa signature card.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

What's the minimum to pay a double all of a sudden? Oh, you passed through a payment. Pass through a payment now. The past due a payment now.

[C]

Guys, I didn't realize that one wasn't on auto pay.

[B]

Guys. What do we. It's worse.

[D]

It's worse.

[C]

So what is. What is.

[B]

I need you to open it again. Sake.

[C]

I don't remember. I honestly don't remember. I think we only ever took out the. Did we take out. We took out the 401k loan for the funeral. But I think the only other one we took out before that was at the 10,000.

[B]

Twice. You took out twice?

[C]

Yeah, I could pay that now.

[D]

Oh, the second one was to pay.

[B]

For a funeral, which again, that's an emergency. I can kind of. But you've done it twice. We're just not learning behavior.

[D]

Nope.

[B]

We're not learning from our behavior. And now we're past due on our second card. And my team didn't even know that. Yeah, didn't even have that. This is worse than even they thought. And they knew this was completely leaf when they Reviewed. I'm sorry.

[D]

Yeah. Caleb, you mind if I take a second?

[B]

Can you guys take a second? Thank you.

[C]

Go ahead.

[B]

I do want you to be informed about the full situation, though. Still. I. I know it's hard.

[C]

I gotta call dividend and have them. Put that back in there, buddy.

[B]

Oh, just open up. I need to see this card.

[C]

That was the card.

[B]

I need to see it. All I saw is that you had a double payment because.

[A]

Yeah, sorry.

[B]

How's. How's Guy doing?

[A]

Not great. I knew this was going to be really, really tough because he doesn't know.

[B]

Who do you like more? Does it work like that?

[A]

No. No. I mean, Joey and I started dating first and then Ariel.

[B]

And you weren't jealous when they were dating?

[C]

There was issues, but it wasn't initially. Initially.

[B]

Who would have thought?

[C]

But it was more of we. We actually started dating together first for the very first time. And I had brought up concerns. I had brought up concerns that this isn't.

[B]

What? Rewards. I don't care about rewards. What are you. Where are you?

[C]

I don't know.

[B]

Dude, just get me to the credit card.

[C]

That she wasn't really into women. And so when.

[B]

That's complicated.

[C]

Yeah. And Joey kept saying, no, it's fine. And then it turned out no. She really didn't think she was at the time.

[A]

Wasn't sure. I wasn't sure.

[C]

So then we were, you know, on a break for a while and then we had a lot of discussions when we finally did get back together. And things have been like, way better. Like, way better.

[B]

Sake. Such a mess. I'm glad there's at least no purchases on there. This last one that can't. I mean, they're behind. They're behind. What do you think we should do for him? So you just need, like a few minutes?

[A]

Yeah, he probably needs a minute.

[C]

He's probably gonna need some time. He's probably gonna need time, like, a lot.

[B]

Well, before he comes back on, he's.

[C]

Very angry and he's going to hold a lot of anger, specifically at me.

[B]

How does that look? How does that usually. What usually happens then?

[C]

He's gonna shut down. He's going to completely shut down.

[B]

Well, why do you. No, I mean, you're behind on everything. Look what your choices have done you. This.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Kim.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

It's not fair.

[C]

It's not.

[B]

And it's. I. Listen, starting down is not the most productive way to deal with things. But yeah, he deserves to be upset.

[C]

And he can be, but he was also asked on multiple occasions to be involved in the finances and he opted not to. So here we are. And that's why we're here.

[B]

We need a Joey replacement.

[C]

We need a Joey replacement.

[B]

You're looking for. You're looking for a fourth. I have an applicant and he's cute. Hi.

[C]

How do you feel about Arizona, ladies?

[D]

I'm from Arizona.

[C]

There we go. Oh, and he smells nice too. I'm digging this. Enjoy Joey 2.0.

[D]

I need the rest of the day off, boss.

[B]

Yeah. By the way, when I told him to come on, he was doing this heavily in the back.

[C]

Never. Joey would. Not if I know Joey like I know.

[B]

So Joe, you're pretty upset because this is kind of.

[D]

It's bad.

[B]

It's bad from hearing it from over there.

[D]

It's pretty bad.

[B]

Yeah. She's behind on two payments sense so far.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Big guy. Your money that you go earn. Yeah.

[C]

I'm a. Sorry.

[B]

You said it. Yeah. Your tone's not very apologetic. I'll be honest.

[C]

No, I'm a bit.

[B]

That's what you want. She's very happy about it.

[A]

It's. It's a. It's a. It's a very strange coping mechanism. It is.

[C]

I cope with comedy.

[B]

You want to be involved in this? That's comedy.

[C]

Oh yeah.

[B]

Wow. Okay.

[D]

Being broke is comedy.

[B]

Get her on kill. Tony.

[A]

I think it's a good. Like I said, I think it was a good wake up call for. For both of them.

[B]

For.

[A]

For Joey to know the situation and for he needed to know Alice to know where, you know, the spending is going. Like really?

[C]

Yeah, no, fully where everything's going to.

[B]

Wake up call to you about what the. You're getting into specifics.

[A]

Yes, I did know that it was already pretty bad. I was aware it was. It was quite bad.

[B]

Yeah, but the debt you guessed was 200000 under the reality of the debt.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. I mean I have this prime visa, but I don't have like a. Again, you guys aren't giving statements. Someone pull up the. The, the. The. The chase prime visa is. Is that you and Joey?

[C]

Yeah. I don't know if I can get.

[A]

How's that one? Look, Joey.

[D]

We'Re going to take the data from the past to probably.

[B]

New Jersey accent please.

[D]

Yeah, but taking the data from the past to probably.

[A]

That's good.

[B]

Who sleeps in the middle? I mean that sucks.

[C]

I actually like it.

[B]

Really? It's so warm.

[C]

Yeah. It's so cold. Cozy.

[A]

Yeah. I need the edge. I'm a. I'm a rotisserie chicken at night.

[B]

I feel like someone's getting edged the whole time. That's for sure.

[C]

Go.

[B]

You could have had a statement in about 15 seconds. This would. This would have been so easy. Okay, here we go. We owe $3,863.86. Wonderful. First time hearing this, big guy, huh? With a minimum monthly payment of 116. Should we check on him? Yeah, you want to just see how he's doing. Oh, oh, he's here now. We don't want him getting. We don't want him to get jealous.

[D]

He's gonna be jealous.

[C]

No, he doesn't. He doesn't really get jealous.

[B]

In fact, he might just want your hole, big guy. Welcome back. The seat will be a little warm. Yeah, we had someone sitting in my foot.

[C]

Just hit the camera.

[B]

Did it help? Taking a lap?

[D]

Yeah, a little fresh air goes a long way.

[B]

Yeah, sorry.

[D]

Let me get.

[B]

Well, we just unlocked a credit card of $3,863.86 to bring you back down.

[D]

Thank you.

[B]

You're welcome. With purchasing, we're purchasing some on a credit card that will not be paid off. Minimum monthly payment without any purchases alone. This is your lease least. This is your smallest balance so far.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

What do we think? How long do we think it takes to pay off without purchasing? Of which, by the way, we are purchasing?

[C]

Probably like 10 years.

[A]

15 years.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

I was just gonna assume 10.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, 15. 15. And this is our smallest balance. Smallest balance? Yeah. You're gonna make mid-50s.

[D]

Oh, that's great. And then that's. That one will be paid off.

[B]

Well, if we don't purchase. But all we do is purchase. In fact, what did the purchase look like? I will tell you who's purchasing. Amazon. Amazon. Amazon. Grubhubbing. Whataburger Family Dollar Valley Sleep Center.

[C]

That was for my normal.

[B]

Usaa.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Is this you guys again?

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Okay. Everything is done.

[A]

I don't have any credit cards open.

[B]

Why are we bringing in. Why would you want to come into this? Like, I understand. Okay, you love them. Why would you want to come into this? The way the account comb. Do you just want to combine so that we have her income? No, like, because you guys are together, you two. I don't know how you would survive. You should. There's no malicious intent here.

[C]

None whatsoever.

[B]

You don't. Okay. USAA, we have a credit card balance of $3,907.37. Is that a 20.15% interest rate?

[D]

What was that interest rate?

[B]

20.15. Thank you. Yeah. And they're all going to be around 30, by the way. So this one's actually even better than the others with a limit of 4400. So we're not that far from the limit by any means. We're going and we're stopping in, we're getting some bull. We're stopping in, we're getting some bull. Paris baguette, canteen vending machine.

[C]

That's you, the vending machine credit card.

[B]

So big guy here is what's going on. You are spending money on a credit card that does not have much more money to spend on, that is accruing interest. So this is where being informed on the facts of your financial situation is important because you cannot be going and blowing all this money. I, I, who's stopping in the gas stations and getting just small little things because that's not gas purchases. We're not getting $3.65 a gas. Huh. So what are you getting?

[D]

Breakfast.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

We gotta be packing breakfast or making breakfast. Yeah.

[D]

Okay, that cool.

[B]

And if you're gonna stay at home, make it, contribute in that way.

[C]

And I was for a long time. Like I really, we were doing overnight oats and stuff like that. The last few years have really, really cut deep. So, and I was.

[B]

So we have to.

[C]

No.

[B]

What?

[C]

No. So we were just talking last night about getting back to a normal.

[B]

Lots of breakfast in this. We'll give you guys this. And it's budget friendly.

[C]

I'm actually very excited about that. I saw a cookbook and I'm all about cookbooks.

[B]

Well, I wish you can like actually cooked. Look, here we go. I mean this is more, it's more savory, but you can have deviled eggs in the morning. Okay, listen, there's so many devil egg.

[C]

She does.

[B]

Yeah. Because you went and stopped in and got breakfast a few times and then the vending machine and the Paris baguette for 40 bucks box.

[C]

The Paris baguette was us. That was us.

[D]

Nice little sweet treat.

[C]

We did get a little sweet treat.

[B]

A little sweet treat.

[C]

Yeah. That was at my neurologist appointment.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

And listen, I want to know your perspective on this. Joey, being a self confessed libertarian yourself. Yep. That usually advocates for personal responsibility only. Like there's nothing outside of that. That. What do you think? What do you think now that you're hearing all this, how that vibes.

[D]

I, I was under the impression that I, I could trust that this was getting taken care of and it clearly hasn't been. And I can see that inspect.

[C]

Don't expect.

[B]

Shut up. Hey, maybe let's let him answer.

[D]

She loves me and she doesn't want to upset me. And I've really done a fine job of putting myself into a situation where I'm sure she feels that I'm unapproachable on this and the consequences of it are clear.

[B]

Do you not feel she controls? I.

[D]

There are parts of life that you don't care that much about. There's plenty of my life I don't care about. I didn't think this was. I had no idea it was this bad and this stupid. It's one thing to be bad, it's another thing to be stupid. And I'm shocked to find out how much it is. Both today and I realized that if I want out of this, I'm gonna have to be part of the solution. And I can't just walk away from it and hope that other people are going to make my life better. I. This is.

[B]

What are you seeing in the dynamic coming into this?

[A]

A lot of fear from Joey. I know I came in at a very stressful time.

[B]

And are you sure they aren't like cope loving? Because sometimes people look for extra things when life is hard. You know, they want to shake things up. Are you sure that once life gets back to normal that the place for you is there as much as it is today?

[A]

We've had feelings for each other for years and years. I've been in the position where I'm like, I'm not ready.

[B]

How did she convince you to enjoy vagina?

[A]

She's a great talker.

[C]

Okay, ladies, Department of education.

[B]

Who this is with Nelnet?

[C]

Yeah, that's mine.

[B]

Hey, it looks like total of. Does everyone have student loans or is it just you?

[A]

I don't have any.

[C]

Just me.

[B]

$21,169 for what? And then of course you're the one making no money.

[C]

You know, actually I need to contact about them about that because it switched over from another company from Great Great Lakes.

[B]

Yep.

[C]

And when I had last checked with Great Lakes it was only at 12,000. But when it switched over, probably interested.

[B]

Accrued while it was all being like no payment required, dude.

[C]

So when it the last. But that's when the last time I checked with them it was at 12,000. Then when it switched I wouldn't be surprised at 21. And I was very confused by that.

[B]

I would not be surprised. It's 21,069. So we're going to go off of that. I'm sure it sat there in accrued Interest when payments required were 0. What's the status of these today? I know we're talking about getting back to school. Deferred until right next year, I think November.

[C]

No, no, there.

[B]

I requested an extra.

[C]

I requested an extra.

[B]

Why? You guys make money as a household. And tax returns. Surprised they even allowed it.

[C]

Yeah, those are deferred currently.

[B]

Well, payment's going to be about if you want to get it paid in about 10 years. 250 bucks a month added to your guys's stack.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Extra 250 gone like that.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Why haven't you been paying on these?

[C]

Just hasn't been.

[B]

What did you get a degree in? Did you get a degree?

[C]

So I got a certificate I wanted to go in for.

[B]

Certificate in what?

[C]

Automated computer specialist. Back when that.

[B]

Midi. Computer specialist.

[C]

Automated computer specialist.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

And that was back when that meant something and now it doesn't. It's now a fancy word for I can be a secretary. But it did give me a job.

[B]

Why not go be a secretary? Make money?

[C]

Because nobody cares about that. Everybody now wants associates or bachelors in.

[B]

Something that's their perfect dream situation. Doesn't mean you shouldn't apply.

[C]

Oh, I have been applying. I apply basically anything that makes.

[B]

Well, I'm sure there's not many opportunities in that area. No offense.

[C]

Not really. No, there's not. I have a plan of basically everything that comes comes up up.

[B]

Yeah, I'm sure interest is just a crude. Yeah, they're in $0 phases. Even the ups and unsubsidized loans, when they're deferred, they might accrue interest. I'm not 100% sure on that. And I don't know your mixture of subsidized or unsubsidized. Never been late. But we're also just not making payments. They've been undeferred since July. Oh wait, I think that's when this is just leading up to those.

[C]

Yeah, I think that's in July. Might have been when it changed over to Nell. Now that.

[B]

All right. Still going. Okay. What is elan? CACS Credit card.

[A]

Elon Financial.

[B]

Huh?

[A]

That was a personal loan through. Oh, wait. Excuse me. That was a card. Yeah.

[B]

This is finally yours.

[A]

Yes, that is.

[B]

It's in collections. She has collections? She's bringing collections into the house?

[C]

Yeah, we knew about that. Well, I knew about.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. What's this? Weed? Did you know she has collections?

[D]

I don't. I know nothing. What the pattern.

[B]

What is going on? Come on. You seem like the same one. This conversation so far so that one.

[A]

I only have two maintenance left on it. It's. I have a debt relief for that one, so that's in debt relief. So I have two more, and then I'm.

[B]

So, am I gonna see the debt relief statement in this paperwork? Okay. So I don't need to worry about this statement specifically?

[A]

No.

[B]

Why did credit card go into collections and how long ago this was?

[A]

I want to say 20, 23.

[B]

What happened?

[A]

Me and an ex separated. So the financial situation changed and I couldn't afford everything on my own. So I let that stuff. The stuff that I could go in collections or. Well, debt relief. I allowed it to go to debt relief.

[B]

Well, I'm sure you're just blowing all your money on your kid, too. Just endlessly trying to cope with the single mom.

[A]

There is some guilt spending, for sure.

[B]

Yeah, absolutely. And I know you're just blowing money on video games like crazy. That was such a big app. And then you're getting, you know, you got a game. PC, Big arsenal of video games.

[A]

Yeah. Not. I haven't. I don't spend too much on myself. There's a lot of.

[B]

So just the kid.

[A]

I do spend.

[B]

But you're deferring the kid's future, and all of a sudden you're not gonna have a retirement. Who knows if you're gonna be with them by retirement's age?

[A]

Yes, There's a lot of.

[B]

She's even skeptical about that. You see that, guys?

[A]

There's a lot of concern.

[B]

What do we think of that? Is that weird to hear? Is that concerning to hear?

[D]

Caleb, if you were coming in on this, would you stay?

[B]

I wouldn't come in.

[D]

I get it.

[B]

I wouldn't be coming in and combining my finances and I wouldn't be combining life yet. I'd be coming in and I'd be. And that would be about it. That's, you know, that's what I'd be doing. I wouldn't want to incorporate my life into this. No, but she's also bringing baggage. She's bringing collections and debt relief programs. So it's not like she's perfect by any means.

[D]

Is she handling them? I don't. I don't know what program. What do I know what right looks like? You're looking at the things. Is she doing the right things? She's not doing the right things. Is she doing the right things?

[C]

Are you doing the right things? You're pointing fingers over here.

[B]

You're doing the right things.

[A]

I'm keeping up with payments. So once this is finished, I'M transferring and paying off my small debt. And then What? It's like $415 that's going towards that debt once a month. A month? Yeah.

[B]

That you funnel to your next debt. Yes, yes, that is the way.

[A]

Yeah. And then I. Once I have that done, that 415 will go to. I'm gonna start with my smaller ones. I only have a couple of. Like, maybe like three that are, like, from two to 600, I think.

[B]

Okay, well, we'll find them. What's CT? What's CFT pay?

[A]

That is the debt relief validation.

[B]

Oh, the debt relief. Yes, yes, I see. It's 446Amonth. And you said there's two payments left.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

That's good. So she's almost out of her. Well, you guys are going deeper. How do we decide who he sticks it in? How do we determine? Do we draw straws?

[C]

So he.

[B]

Or do we, like, human centipede?

[C]

He can stick it wherever he wants. Sure. But, like, as soon as he gets a vasectomy.

[B]

Well, of course. But, like, what if both want. Like, how does he choose? How do you choose?

[C]

You just put it in both. Truth, I guess.

[B]

Well, yeah, that's. I don't know if that's scientifically.

[A]

Are you talking the technical. Yeah, Everybody's very busy.

[B]

We got three of us, and we don't even. What's the point? At that point. What?

[C]

Nobody said that.

[D]

You know, every movie has a director, and some people. Some people like being the director. I don't.

[B]

I don't.

[D]

Elbows or anything.

[C]

You are very often the director, sir. Nice try.

[B]

Well, like, cut corner.

[D]

You know, you just. Someone's got a game plan, and then you run it. You see where it goes.

[C]

Sometimes. Sometimes you're in the mood for cake, sometimes you're in the mood for ginger ale. You know, it just depends.

[D]

Oh, man.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

Oh, that's a lot of buttons.

[B]

No, because she's not in, like, the worst. Her balance this is $892.26. And the minimum payment is 446, which means it's paid off in two. But again, we're combining it like it's combined. If our entire intent is to be combined.

[C]

Right.

[B]

Say, guys, why. Why screenshots from web pages? This is so difficult.

[A]

Yeah, I couldn't get a print off.

[C]

This is.

[A]

It's just more information. Yeah, it's just more information on it.

[B]

What about this? Same thing.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. Money owed to friend. To whose friend?

[A]

Mine.

[B]

You owe your friend money? She owes her friend money?

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Did we Know this? You did. Okay. What do you owe your friend? $5,000 for car. What?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Did they get the car and they paid for it for you, or you got it from them and you owe them?

[A]

Yeah. So it basically purchasing off them. What is the car a Nissan Versa Note.

[B]

Is this a loan or is it just paid to them?

[A]

It's a loan.

[B]

It's a loan from a bank?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Oh, no, no, no. What's the interest rate on it?

[A]

Ooh, I don't remember.

[B]

Cause I just. Why weren't you able to access it? Cause I just have this written on a piece of paper. All sides of y' all are disorganized. What's the minimum monthly payment on this?

[A]

150.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Until I basically save up enough to pay it off and then get it.

[B]

Switched over and we don't know the interest. Okay. Me. When did you do this?

[A]

2022, I believe.

[B]

Oh, okay. So this is around forever. Do we have the value on this car?

[A]

It's very low. It's very low.

[B]

What is like 2, 3, 1?

[A]

Probably like 1500.

[B]

Oh, for sake. What are we doing? Is this car gonna last?

[C]

No, it's already having issues.

[B]

Oh, it is. What are we seeing?

[A]

Engine leak.

[B]

Are you handy?

[C]

Not really.

[B]

Are you guys handy?

[D]

Good thing about being broke is that you learn how to get more handy. I've been fixing my car a lot recently.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And then I also am pretty handy with cars.

[B]

Okay. So do we know what's wrong with it?

[C]

I'm gonna probably put a little more effort into looking to it.

[B]

The fuel pump for sake. How long has this been going?

[C]

She's been having issues with it for a while.

[A]

Since I bought it.

[B]

Since I bought it it three years ago.

[A]

That's about it. It was as is.

[B]

We haven't learned. We haven't figured out what's going on.

[A]

No, it was a minor leak. It's not usually an issue. It's been until recently.

[C]

Issues lately.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Dude, this is crazy. Are. And you can get to your job in this?

[A]

Yes. Yeah. It runs.

[B]

What happens when it doesn't? What do you do that?

[A]

The only thing it does is shut off after a certain amount of rpms.

[B]

That's it.

[A]

And then you just turn it back on?

[B]

Yeah, but what do you do when it doesn't? How do you get to work when it doesn't?

[C]

She'll have to learn how to drive a truck.

[B]

So there's a bonus truck sitting around.

[C]

My mom has a spare truck that.

[B]

Your mom doesn't go anywhere.

[C]

Not often. They Have a couple of vehicles.

[B]

You gotta watch the kids. Okay.

[A]

But the goal is to get it paid off and then trade it in.

[B]

Get better. Yeah. Trade it in for 1500 and then get what? Okay, affirm. Who's the firm?

[C]

Mine.

[B]

Okay. What are you doing? Pull up your firm. Well, I see it's Walmart. What are we getting on Walmart?

[C]

So a firm.

[B]

Yeah, just pull it up.

[C]

Was for.

[B]

Hold on.

[C]

Manage.

[B]

300, purchase something.

[C]

This is for the Walmart. So we were doing really bad.

[B]

And while spending 2, 600 minimum, right?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Right.

[C]

So we needed groceries and we did that.

[B]

Did he know? Did you even discuss with him?

[C]

I think I tried to, but.

[B]

You tried to. Now, when you did that, did he know you guys also blew $2,600 on bull when you came and said, we don't have money to get groceries?

[C]

Guess not.

[B]

Exactly. Because how would that conversation have gone if she did bring that full information to you, Joey? What would you have said?

[D]

Looks like unprepared for any of this.

[B]

It's a 26.76 payment. $365 is the balance now. Now, Joey, something that I think is worth talking about while we're having this conversation is when you walked out, she said that you're probably furious, but what you're gonna do is just shut down from that. What do you want to do from here? What do you want to see the productivity look like from here? Cause if we just shut down, nothing's gonna happen. Right. So what do you want to see happen from here?

[D]

I work. I work really hard. I do. I do the best that I can. And it looks like it's being squandered and I'm not going to be able to retire. Look at this. How do I crawl out of this?

[B]

Well, I get that this sucks, but I want to hear, what do you want this to look like going forward? The conversation, the finances, how we're managing it? Because again, she says you're gonna be very angry at this, and I think that is very valid. However, she says you're gonna shut down, and I think that might be unproductive. So what do you want to do? Going from this conversation, I'm wondering if.

[D]

Maybe I should be the one who's dealing with all this, and maybe Alice ought to be the one who's on a stipend.

[C]

I think that maybe we should all be dealing with this together as a group, and not one person is the only one involved. Hi.

[B]

Listen here. Financial audit. I've curated the exact resources and tools I personally use or would use if I was in certain situations. So take advantage of these offers in the resources section in the description below. The first one I've moved my investments to Webull do the same and transfer to my investing app of choice and you get cash bonuses of $200 all the way up to $30,000 on initial funding amount and up to 8.1% APY on your money and up to 3.5 matches for your IRA. And then number two a great new checking account that I've switched over from Sofi and it's called chime. Get that $550 bonus when you sign up with direct deposit and get almost 4% on your money just sitting there. And then three automate your investing with acorns. Usually sign up incentives are only 5 bucks but but you get $20 with my link. Number four you can increase your income and boost your resume with a course career certification. 5 if T Mobile is good in your area switch to helium and get a literal zero dollar a month phone plan for the same exact service. But most importantly go get your free Hammer Financial score and see where you stand in the world of finances. Take the [e-mail] youm will not regret any of these change your life today.

[D]

You know I, I, I might have been more inclined to agree with that.

[B]

If.

[D]

These these numbers are suggesting that what we're doing right now isn't working right. And what I've been doing is nothing.

[C]

Right. And I am have been asking you to do something with me for a long time.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And I think it might be best if everybody is involved in the finances. I think having a one person and.

[A]

A budget because I like I use the budgeting app. Yeah the the dollar wise and I didn't know how much I spent on fast food. You just kind of like it's like $10 here, $10 there and I spent like 300 I believe on fast food which is outrageous. That's more than my, my grocery budget that I set for myself.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I think that's something you guys both need to really look at and keep to. And like even if you have to have like a limited amount that you can access to for emergencies until you guys kind of get out of this.

[B]

Or what do you think of that?

[D]

It looks like the only way forward is we're going to do this Javier Myle style. We're going to make big cuts. We're going to tighten the belt in ways that are incredibly uncomfortable.

[B]

How are you going to approach that? How are you gonna be A part of that conversation.

[D]

I think that, first of all, therapy might not be the worst idea. This has come up a couple of times. And after this, I was so sick seeing all this that I had to leave the room. I couldn't even be near it. And this is my future that we're talking about. You're doing me a big favor right now by trying to help make my life better. And I, I, I appreciate that. And right now you're the messenger, and I'm incredibly unhappy with you for the things that you're telling me should be. And, and I, Please don't take any of that personally, but I, I need to get right. And I, I'm, I'm wondering how much of this should be a collaboration, how much I, I should just. I don't know.

[C]

You can sit there and point fingers and say that all of this spending was me, but we know it's not. It's all of us.

[A]

Oh, yeah. I'm on there, too.

[C]

You're on here. I'm on here. On here. You also go to the gas station. You also swipe for your energy drinks. Like, I know you don't do a bunch of it, but we're both really bad about when the kids want something, we get it for them.

[D]

I get nothing for anyone. I get the taquitos. Let's go ahead and say here, could.

[A]

You get the gas station stuff?

[B]

He actually gets taquitos. Literal taquitos.

[C]

Yeah, he does. I, he does get taquitos.

[D]

That's. Yeah, let's go ahead and. Here, you got the calculator. What's. I don't know. Probably four bucks for the taquitos. Four bucks for the, the monster. Let's go ahead and call it $8 a day. Let's assume I do. Let's assume I do. I have a coffee pot in my office. I do a pot of coffee a day.

[B]

Just under 3,000 bucks a year would be that.

[D]

All right.

[C]

I'm not blaming you either. I'm just saying we are all in this together.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

You should have been involved.

[C]

You should have been involved.

[D]

I should have been involved.

[A]

But Alice has been.

[C]

I've been the only one involved.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

A lot of this debt came from trying to start up the, the business.

[B]

And it may have. However, it wouldn't be here today if we weren't blowing all that money on bull if the bullshit was going to pay it off. Listen, you went into debt for something, okay? But now it's just continuing, and we're behind on what?

[D]

Everything.

[C]

Everything.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

This is. This is Alice.

[A]

Do you feel like the numbers are off? Like you were looking at me at the beginning when it was being read off?

[C]

The. I feel like they. Well, because like the. The he was. But he had like said like some of. That's Walmart and stuff like that. And that makes sense. Like once that got like. That makes sense.

[B]

That's the unknown category.

[C]

Yeah, because that. That does make sense to me because what's the. Spend so much in groceries. You've seen it. You've been there with me doing groceries. It's insane.

[B]

What's the health equity?

[C]

Health equity.

[B]

It's called health equity.

[A]

That's me. That's a medical bill. I went to the er.

[B]

When?

[A]

Within last year. At some point.

[B]

To get her pregnant too?

[A]

No. Migraine, blood pressure, loss of consciousness, that kind of stuff.

[B]

Okay, well, why are you still going to fast food?

[A]

Because I like it.

[B]

Do we like having another emergency room visit soon? No blood pressure. Fast food doesn't go great together.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

It's a fun fact.

[C]

No.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah. I'm terrible and I love it so much.

[C]

Believe it or not, even though the fast food looks horrible, I don't actually like eating fast food. It makes me horribly sick. I get fast food because other people like to eat fast food.

[B]

Well, we're talking about her right now.

[C]

And we both. We are.

[B]

I guess we're gonna still talk about her.

[C]

We are both sweet treat vampires.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

It'S a 40amonth payment. Yeah. 900 total, I believe. And then to the doctor directly, I think it's 172.

[B]

So 900 is owed.

[A]

900 is owed.

[B]

Okay, 900 is the balance. 40 payment.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

You feel like you always got to be the center of attention.

[C]

I am the center of attention. I guess technically you are. It is your show. I'll allow it.

[B]

Do you guys enjoy that now? You guys love her. Doesn't mean you have to enjoy every quality.

[A]

The insanity is fun.

[C]

Joey enjoys nothing right now.

[B]

Yeah. Which is fair.

[D]

I feel like I'm. I'm at a funeral.

[B]

We're definitely at a funeral for how you guys are spending money going forward.

[D]

I hope so.

[B]

We're burying McDonald's in the ground. Okay, we continue. USA classic check. Is that the end of debt? Because there's a lot of paperwork still here.

[A]

The documents weren't in the order that.

[C]

I wanted them to be, so I'm looking.

[B]

Well, we'll just go in the order. I mean, it's chaos. You guys didn't send statements. It's. Well, I'll deal with it. 800 bucks in this USA classic checking. Who's is this? Your guys's. Are you guys joint?

[C]

Yes on that?

[B]

Is the main guy. Main checking account?

[C]

It's a. No, that's not our main. Our main is the bank of America.

[B]

What is this? What's the purpose of this?

[C]

That was his, like, original check.

[B]

What are we using for today, though?

[C]

Mostly bills.

[B]

Okay. But it's not the main checking account.

[C]

No.

[B]

Curious. Okay. For bills, guys. Here we go. Hot Topic vending machine. Super sale bin. Going in the gas station, getting some bull. PayPal, Hulu, PayPal affirm. And a Patreon membership of $15. Listen. Hammer Elite on YouTube. 10 bucks a month is much better than I guarantee it. Get three premium shows posted every single day. When you click that join button below. PayPal, Netflix, Spotify, boost membership. PayPal, PayPal, Hulu going in to get into PayPal. What is all this? PayPal. Maku's Island. Another Patreon membership. Great.

[C]

What's Maku Island?

[A]

Makuta's Island.

[C]

Oh, that was the kid thing.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

All right. Look at all the. Still has bills. Those are bills. Those are bills?

[C]

Yeah. That's what keeps our kids happy. Yeah.

[B]

They're not gonna really be happy when they're in their mid-40s trying to survive, but they have to put their life on hold to take care of their parents because their parents never sacrificed when they were younger. And all of a sudden they no longer have retirement. Social Security is substantially less than it is today.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

That's what you're doing to your kids. Trying to set them up for any kind of future. I don't see it. You're trying to pay for their college. I don't see it. Or you're trying to help them start a business. I don't see it.

[C]

It?

[B]

Are you trying to give them a foot up in this world and give them a generational change? I don't see it. They will be. You will be living with them like your parents are living with you. And how is that always? Is that great? Always?

[C]

No.

[B]

No. Okay. But that's what you are doing. That is the choice you are making based on the spending you are doing now. Okay. $3,000 in this bank of America. Food Cities at groceries.

[C]

Groceries.

[B]

Okay, well, at least that's groceries. Pet smart. But it's like two bucks going in and getting some gas station. Teemu. Teemu.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Who's teemoing?

[C]

That was me.

[B]

Why are you teemoing? I thought we moved on.

[C]

I got shoes and clothes for the.

[B]

Kids, I think that's another vending machine. Some bull vending machine. Some bull going in and getting some bull. Sonic. 50 bucks is Sonic.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Selling out 200 bucks getting some bull taka. McDonald's break the cycle. McDonald's getting into blue window. Get in some bull bull market at work.

[C]

It's a vending machine.

[B]

Boarding goods. Vending machine. Papa John's Starbucks. Selling out money. Selling out 200. Selling out 25. Going in and getting some bullshit. Selling out 300. Mr. Car Wash Live in the desert. I'm okay with it.

[C]

But rare here and there, the zell is between accounts.

[B]

You guys also have a house. Fill a bucket of water, dump it on your car and spray under. Okay? Because that's what we're trying to do to avoid getting the sand everything. Vending machine. Oh, mini time machine. How tea vending machine. McDonald's going in and getting some bullshit. Dairy Queen cash app out. $5 taqueri. Ta kiri. How do you say it? Taqueria. Boson donuts. Burger King. Going in and getting some bull scooters. Coffee. Going in and getting some bull. Getting some bullshit. McDonald's getting some bull. Arm list. Arby's cash app out money. Going in and getting some bull vending machine. Guys, this is relentless. This is insane. Look at the spending we are doing while we are drawing in debt. You are putting your spending over your children's future right now. Sonic drive in. Zelling out $400.

[C]

All of the zells are between accounts.

[B]

Crazy. Crazy. That spending is insane. What does anyone think about what we just saw? Because what the.

[A]

It feels like a lot of wastes.

[C]

It does feel like a lot of waste. But all. All of the zelles are between accounts. So that's how I get.

[B]

Oh, come on. Those cells were a vast minority of what I'm talking about. Yeah. How do we feel about what I just went on? I don't care about the cope sell.

[C]

Oh, it's not great. No, it's not great. Like there's. There's way too much eating out. Like, way too much eating out. It's not good.

[B]

What do you guys think? What do you think, Joey? Because here's the thing. You want to know what just happened with your wife? I called out the bull. We talked about thousands of dollars of bull there. Then she tried to deflect with. Oh, with a zell. Yeah.

[D]

It's easy to focus on the part that's justifiable. It's really easy to point at that and say, look, look, look.

[B]

That.

[D]

That Part was very important. That's fantastic. That, that part was important. That was one month's worth of statements.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, that was one. That was one month in that, in that account.

[D]

How many, how many of those were, were Burger King? There's, it's twice a week, three times a week.

[C]

Vending machines. Mr. I only go to the vending machine once a day.

[B]

They were about once a day. But that is a big thing. That is, it's happening constantly.

[A]

Yeah. When buying it at the store is just generally cheaper.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

What is this Burger King thing?

[D]

No, it's just like, it's just every, every meal is a big event. Over at the Drive through, everything's a big drive through fiesta. When I feel like splurging at work, I'll have a peanut butter jelly and a brick of ramen. That's how I treat myself if I'm having a particularly rough day at work. And to find out that while I'm over here, I'm down 20 pounds, I've been eating so little, I'm down weight, I haven't been working out, I haven't been trying to do better. I'm not eating right, I'm not eating good, I'm eating less. And while I'm over here literally tightening my belt to find out that two, three times a week, there's, there's a fiesta going on over at that stupid Wendy's. I, I, I, I don't know, man.

[A]

And I'm just as guilty. I know I am. When you get to mine, you'll see it on there too.

[B]

Thoughts on the fiesta?

[C]

Like I said, when the kids want to go eat out, we kind of just do like.

[B]

So it's impossible for you to say no and act like an adult?

[C]

It's not impossible, but I do know that I had. There's been a lot of guilt. There's been. And there's been a lot of guilt lately. And I know it's been harder to say no to the kids. And that's not good. I know it's not good, but I know I do it. Like, I know I do. Like, I can't, I really can't justify that because if it was, if it was just me, I would say no because I don't really like it. It doesn't make me feel good. And I don't.

[A]

But we get stuff too.

[C]

We do. I will eat. I will eat there. I'm not saying I don't eat there. I'm just saying, like, I do it a lot of times for them.

[D]

I Think the kids need a big dose of vitamin N. Yeah, they do. I think we're gonna need to start getting real comfortable with the word no.

[C]

Yep.

[D]

And I think that it's unfair to blame all of this on the kids here.

[C]

It's not all of it on the kids. Like we do it too. We're bad about it.

[B]

It's hard Cash app. I see. $340. Want another water bottle? You're going through them.

[D]

I'm. I appreciate it. I'm staying hydrated.

[B]

Okay, we've been here for a second and we'll still be here for a second longer. So a rare mid episode grab. Okay. Bank of America, $83. I mean, cash app is a few hundred bucks. Yeah. Looks like he went to McDonald's in June. I don't know. There was probably more, but again, you didn't give me a statement. So. $83 in this cap. Bank of America. You said this was the main one, right?

[C]

Yeah, bank of America is the main one.

[B]

It's mostly just money being keep the change moved in and then we immediately lose it all with the eight dollar monthly maintenance fee. So I don't really see the point. And then we're transferring money out. We keep the change going in. It's a small little charge or it's a roundup thing. Right. But then you pull it out and then you pay a fee to have this account. This makes no sense sense. You're losing money having this account. There's another fee. Keep the change. Keep the change. Keep the change. This is. Okay, that was nothing. This is pointless. Why even have that? That doesn't make sense to me. Okay, listen, I heard there was an upstart loan somewhere, but I am not seeing it. What loans have we potentially missed?

[A]

So the only. The other debt I have is $10,000 with Upstart. It was a part of the debt relief program, but I'm breaking off off from it and just going to try and negotiate myself.

[B]

Okay, what's the balance of that then? 10,000.

[A]

10,000.

[B]

Okay. When, when and what? Why?

[A]

That was for an RV.

[B]

An RV?

[A]

Yes. When 20 start? Yeah, I think it was 20. 21.

[B]

This is a down payment on an RV.

[A]

It was for the whole RV.

[B]

Okay, what's this RV situation right now? It's sold and you still owe 10?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And you're gonna negotiate it or are there minimum monthlies on it?

[A]

I'm gonna negotiate it. Right. It went to collections while I was sitting in debt negotiation, so it wasn't really worth it. I'd rather negotiate it myself.

[B]

What did you sell it for?

[A]

I think it was 14.

[B]

What did you buy it for?

[A]

14,000. I bought it for 25,000.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

And it was with.

[B]

Why did you stop paying?

[A]

I couldn't afford. This was at the same time where all my stuff kind of went into either debt relief or collections. When we separated, I couldn't afford it anymore.

[B]

Is there any other deadlines here?

[A]

I have a.

[B]

You have three more things in collections.

[A]

Yeah, I've got Best Buy for 615, Verizon 4.

[B]

Whoa. One at a time.

[A]

Sorry.

[B]

650. Best Buy.

[A]

615. Sorry.

[C]

615.

[B]

Okay, great.

[A]

295 to Verizon.

[B]

Okay, slow down. 295 to Verizon. And then we just decided not to pay any of our bills. Okay, what's the next?

[A]

And then 300 to Internet company Mediacom.

[B]

You guys think of all those collections.

[D]

How could I sit there and criticize? Yeah, a couple hundred bucks.

[B]

I'm not talking about criticizing, but just like, you're hearing it for the first time. What do you think? Well, she's bringing it in. If we're trying to combine everything. Right? Then we're bringing it in.

[D]

She's bringing it in. She's also bringing in the discipline to have addressed some of these things. And at this point, I. I'm not terribly worried about Ella.

[C]

Yeah, we've already discussed a lot of it, so.

[A]

I mean, I didn't take care of it until this past year. I just let it sit well, I mean, other than debt relief. Always made sure to pay that one. But it didn't seem doable until it was doable.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Even though it's small, but, like, you know, I told you guys, daunting is.

[C]

Daunting.

[A]

Went from homeless to apartment after this situation. So, like, I should have paid to start paying off right then and there.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

But I blew money. It's gonna be on there.

[C]

I knew we blew some money, but I didn't realize how much. Like, honestly, I can honestly say I didn't realize how much we were blowing. And, like, it really does put into perspective. And while this is terrifying and exhausting, I am really excited to get on a path where it doesn't feel daunting, because right now, it felt so daunt. So daunting. And I felt really.

[B]

Okay, okay, okay.

[C]

So.

[B]

Okay, okay. This wasn't a. Again, it was about her sake, dude. Yes. It was about your thoughts on her, but it's not about your. Oh, yeah, yeah. Why didn't. It doesn't all have to come back to you. We're not going to get out of this together if it's all about you. I mean, that's true. I'm sorry. I'm not saying that to be a dick. That's just how you're doing it.

[D]

We really want to fix this. This way we can build a more secure and decent life together. And it's really unfair to bring Ella in on the disaster that our life has become because I haven't been doing the right thing. And Alice thought she had it handled and she didn't and have. We want our lives to be better and we want her to not have reasons to walk away from us. We want to build something worthwhile.

[B]

What do you feel now on the walking away scale?

[A]

Everything is achievable, but it does take.

[B]

It's optimistic.

[A]

A lot of work and discipline. And I would like to have a lot more say on, you know, saying no.

[B]

Yeah. This was a mess, guys. This was an absolute mess. And it's still a mess going forward. $17.60 in this Chase account. Okay. Salvation Army, McDonald's. McDonald's. Magpipe Water Burger Premium, Amazon prime selling out $154. This is more bull. Bringing it down from 98 to $17 on our checking account. Oh, good. We've overdrafted this year.

[A]

I think twice or three times.

[B]

Why are we overdrafting and going to McDonald's? That's overdrafting and McDonald's off. What are we doing? What kind of bull? This.

[A]

Yeah, that is now my main account. My wisely was my actual main account through my work. So I switched everything over eventually when I felt like I didn't need that couple days at advance payment. But it is a. It is a lot of bull. Except for the. The Zel. The Zel is car payment.

[B]

Welfare traffic while going to McDonald's. This is insane. Insane. While having a monthly service fee of 12 bucks here just to have this account because you don't keep enough money in there wisely.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

So was your main $2 in there in the main at the time. Doordashing. She's doordashing something for 27 bucks. Matt Tutu's Island, Makutu's Island, IHOP. McDonald's going in the gas station, getting some McDonald's. McDonald's, McDonald's. Amazon Prime Video Premium, Airbnb 336. Why are we going on vacation when we're dying?

[A]

It was the summer vacation.

[B]

And why are we doing that when we can't afford life?

[A]

I wanted to go Thoughts?

[B]

This is who we're bringing in. No judgment. Sure. But come on. What the we doing? Why are we doing this, guys? We can't be going on trips if we can't afford to live. You cannot tell me. Oh, no, I couldn't pay my credit card payment if we're spending 336just for an Airbnb, let alone the travel cost, sauce and food and whatever else we're doing there.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

That's our. That's our groundbreaking thoughts. That's. That's our reflection. Yeah, we're really gonna go somewhere, guys. Domino's and McDonald's. What? Joke. The spending's insanity.377 in this crypto account. Okay. And.

[C]

That'S mine.

[B]

What's our intent here? What's our intent here?

[C]

I just have it. I got it way back when when we. We didn't have any debt. I just threw some money in it and I just let it sit there. It's up to, I think five now.

[D]

Okay, $5.

[C]

No, 500.

[D]

500.

[B]

Okay, listen. I mean, I have Bitcoin, and that is a good return on investment. You know, sometimes, at least historically. Is it averaging 30 a year or not? I don't know. But your credit cards are. I would just wipe your credit cards. That's one thing we know is going to have a negative return is credit cards.

[C]

Right.

[B]

$25 in this some kind of retirement target with someone's in a Target Date Fund. 2055. Who has retirement?

[D]

That's probably me.

[B]

Okay. Yeah. We are dramatically behind as a household in retirement. What is this? Additional. Oh, thrift savings. So this would be you 6,000 in there, right. So 15 plus the six. Is that correct?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

So. Or 25 plus the six.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That he has. He has two. He has one from his previous and.

[B]

One from 31,000 in retirement. Okay.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

That'll keep us running for several months, it seems.

[B]

Well, that's all the paperwork.

[C]

That is all the paperwork. So. Bathroom then?

[B]

Yeah. We can do a bathroom break.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Keep your chin like that.

[A]

S. Okay. Yep.

[D]

Sorry about that. I'm making a nice little pile back here.

[C]

So I wanted to say Caleb is very right about something. You are coming into a lot.

[A]

I'm fine. It's okay.

[C]

I knew you don't have a ring.

[A]

Oh, my God. Are you kidding?

[C]

You've been dealing with so much, and you've been doing it all alone. And it's not just us. It's us.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And maybe there'll be more. Maybe there'll Be more rings. Maybe we'll have a whole handful of rings of right now. I wanted to at least. Yeah. Wait, see if this bad boy.

[A]

Oh, you know, it's gamble.

[B]

Almost.

[C]

Almost.

[A]

Oh, you know what? It's fine. I'll take it. Let's do it here for now.

[C]

There you go. And it's gold, so it's not going. It's not gonna hurt your little finger.

[A]

I hate crying.

[D]

She's been trying to do that for months.

[C]

Here. Here's a little box. I know how you like tiny little boxes.

[A]

I do like boxes.

[B]

Okay. Okay. Well done, I guess. Guess. Well done. Now you have one. Now you have one on you.

[A]

That's very sweet of you to think. My fingers are small.

[B]

How much did you spend on that?

[C]

So that. That should have actually been on the statement. That was a hundred and.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

I think it was only like 113. It wasn't. It wasn't crazy.

[B]

Oh. Should we make a budget?

[C]

Absolutely.

[B]

Interesting little detour. Okay.

[A]

Looks sad again.

[B]

Does he have to propose, too? How does this work?

[C]

He will when he's ready.

[D]

None of us know the rules, man.

[B]

Is that how that works? You propose, but then, like, legally nothing happens?

[C]

We'll still do a ceremony eventually.

[B]

Three.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

I think that for a long time before marriage was a government recognized institution. It was people who loved each other, expressing that to their friends and family and community and in a way that everyone around them recognized. I don't feel like I need the power of the state to recognize.

[B]

You don't. I'm just thinking of her protection.

[D]

Trust me, the last thing I want to do is cause her any more grief. And. And you're completely right. If. But only we lived in a world where individual liberties were recognized the way they ought to be.

[B]

There's a libertarian.

[D]

Look, do you. Do you want to know? Maybe you'll think this is cute. Maybe you won't. The way I tried to propose to Alice over here was one night I was complaining about taxes, which is not a surprising thing for me to be doing.

[B]

Nobody likes them.

[D]

I rolled over and I says, you know, you are as tied to me as anyone has ever been. And our lives are completely intermingled. And you could destroy me right now. If you walked out the door. There'd be nothing left. And I says, why don't we just go ahead and get married so we can get that tax break? Because for all intents and purposes, we're already married. Whether we're married or not is irrelevant because we're. We're already there. And let's just get that tax break. And she said that was the least romantic thing she'd ever heard. And I can't think of a more romantic one.

[C]

I started laughing because I thought he was joking.

[B]

Okay, well our debt minim. Minimum monthly payments without mortgage is $2,366.17. With the mortgage alone is $3,117. It's not including collections. It's not including the student loans. It's not including. There was a USA loan. I don't know if I got a minimum payment. Your finances are a mess. So I'm actually gonna, I'm gonna put an extra 100 on the debt minimum. To be honest. 2466. I don't know. Okay. Utilities, Internet, all combined. What's that looking like on a monthly basis?

[C]

So that is 500 for the electric. Internet is 128.

[B]

Water? Gas?

[C]

No, it's. It's on a well.

[B]

Okay, so 620. Cool. Gas. Vroom vroom. Drive. Drive for all three.

[A]

I'm about 60amonth.

[C]

60. You're what? 160amonth? About.

[D]

I have no idea.

[C]

About 160.

[B]

Okay. And you?

[C]

It's gonna be about 160 with the.

[B]

Okay, so 380 car insurances across the board.

[C]

Yeah, it's 200 and then I'm.

[A]

180.

[B]

Combined.

[C]

200.

[B]

Okay, so 380 and your parents give you a thousand and then you buy all the groceries. Is that the deal?

[C]

Basically.

[B]

Wow, you're getting on that deal. Okay.

[C]

They, they buy some stuff for themselves that they keep in their room.

[B]

That they keep in the room. Okay.

[C]

But I buy, I buy most of the stuff.

[B]

Okay then. Okay, groceries. Let me think. Thousand seven hundred fifty. TP fund for everyone. Everything else is needed. Do you buy their toilet paper and toothbrushes and.

[C]

No, they buy all that stuff.

[B]

Okay. We do it for all three of us and the four kids. So I'm going to say 550. It's not great, but. 550. Medical Co pays anything like that?

[C]

Yeah, I, I have a pretty big medical amounts per. Per month with everything going on. So my copays are probably about $250 a month right now.

[B]

Okay, 250. Is there a gym?

[C]

Yes.

[B]

How much?

[C]

60.

[B]

Subscriptions. I'll try to put in 50. Do we have any pets?

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Why? How many?

[C]

Two dogs.

[B]

Age is health.

[C]

One's ancient, about 13.

[B]

Bed insurance for that. Two. How health?

[A]

Good health.

[B]

Pet insurance. 40 bucks. Pet food. How much a month?

[C]

60.

[A]

Yeah. One big bag.

[B]

Anything else? Oh, phone bills.

[C]

Oh, yeah, I pay for the year and so mine's already paid, but it's.

[B]

What is it a year?

[C]

It's about $300 for the year.

[B]

Okay. What else besides that?

[A]

I have helium, So I do 15amonth.

[B]

That's good. We love that. 35. And this is why you're making progress. You listen to the show. I can tell.

[C]

We, we have. Yeah, we have mint. And so we pay for the full year for all three.

[B]

So 35 bucks a month. Anything else that needs to be in the budget, this is the time.

[C]

What else do we have that needs?

[B]

Oh, we have the two necessary to survive budget.

[C]

Two cats.

[A]

I almost forgot about the cat cats.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Ages and health.

[C]

They're barn cats, but they're.

[B]

Are you not getting pet insurance on barn cats?

[D]

No.

[B]

You not care. Okay. What about food?

[C]

They. They're probably about $60. It's about the same cat letter too. Yeah, it's about the same. It's probably about 60 bucks.

[B]

Guys, this is not. Well, actually. No, no, no. Because the thousand dollars you get 9900 comes in. We need 9801.34. Wow. Okay.

[A]

Your salary. Right. Okay. So I just need to pick up registry as well.

[B]

So $98.66 left. Now listen, not including the mortgage. Not including the mortgage. So what is that? That brings us. So $550,974.16 minus $437 and $911.06. So that debt, debt that is not mortgage is $113,063.10. With the $98.66, that takes 1,145 months to pay off, which is, I believe the largest we've had on this show. Probably that is also 95 years. You guys will not be here. This is not possible. I hope you get accepted to school, take that turn into a higher paying job. If you do not, you are going and working literally any job that exists. I don't care what it is. They could be driving Uber Eats. It could be doing whatever you need to bring in money. Your parents need to step the up if they're gonna live there and watch your kids more. I'm sorry that life has been hard. They need to contribute because right now the house is on fire. You need to go pick up as many as you do. You're doing enough work wise. You need to go pick up as many shifts as you can. It sounds like you can. Right?

[C]

Right.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

So go and do that. And then we all come together. If we're doing this combined, listen, as far as banks go to combined into an account, I don't know what three people, but either way combine. Sit down together even with the anxiety and we discuss where money went last month, where it was supposed to go, where we up and what we need to do to adjust next month. Because this does not have any wiggle room with 95 bucks left. Okay. Or with 98 bucks left, okay. And listen, the solution might be once you guys change your behavior for three months, go through bankruptcy and do a clean slate. I don't love it. It's expensive, it's stressful and it's weird. Once we get three people involved, it won't be a three person bankruptcy. So bankruptcy might be an option. I don't know. But the dynamic sound like three would be involved in the bankruptcy either way. So there's a few solutions. Yes, income modes, build it up. Still might be a ten year payoff plan. Maybe we do bankruptcy. But before you do either or while you're doing either, you need to prove you change your behavior and we can budget as a household. Especially with this curious dynamic. Right, that's what I'd recommend. I'm gonna give them their Hammer Financial score. Let's do that calculation. But first make sure you click that join button. Join Hammer Elite for three premium shows every single day, Monday through Friday. Enjoying the post show for this episode. An extra 20 minutes of this episode where something crazy always happens and we'll find out out. Hammer Financial score for the household. Well, we overspent. 0 out of 10 debt. We have collections 0 out of 10 emergency fund. We had a little bit in checking account but nothing in savings. But for the few thousand sitting in that checking account, I'll at least give you a 1 out of 10. And be generous. Retirement dramatically behind. What Was it total? 30.

[D]

About 35.

[B]

You said 35 and we're like mid-30s on average. With the household very behind. I'm going to say 2 out of 10 real estate. Barely an equity position in a house that needs massive updating anyway in a market that is kind of in the middle of nowhere where it's not thrilling. If you sold today, you wouldn't make much money, but at least you have an asset that will theoretically go up in price that at least gets you a 5 out of 10 in the interest rates. Not disgusting. It's gonna be a Hammer Financial score. Just barely rounded up to a 2 out of 10. Click that join button. Join us in Hammerly. And don't forget to download the dollar Wise budgeting app and get your free trial today. We'll see in the post show there's another debt. So we have friend debt and now we have family debt. What is the family debt? What do we even owe and how much?

[D]

It's. It's my uncle.

[B]

How much do we owe to your uncle?

[D]

Uh, it's. It's.

[B]

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