Financial Audit's Most Abusive Husband

Summary

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Financial Audit: "Financial Audit's Most Abusive Husband"

Podcast: Financial Audit
Host: Caleb Hammer
Guests: Brittany (23), Billy (24)
Date: February 18, 2026

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Episode Overview

This deeply uncomfortable and candid episode of Financial Audit features Brittany and Billy, a married couple from Buffalo, NY, whose appearance was initially billed as a standard financial review. However, the conversation quickly exposes a toxic, controlling, and abusive relationship dynamic, both emotionally and physically, primarily at the hands of Billy. Throughout the episode, host Caleb Hammer pushes hard on financial mismanagement but pivots to address the disturbing power imbalances and reveals of domestic abuse. The episode becomes as much a warning of red flags in relationships as it is an audit of financial dysfunction.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Income & Employment Situation ([01:26]–[05:19])

• Brittany: Unemployed for several months, about to start as a funeral director resident ($19/hour, unsure about actual start date and wage).
• Billy: Software engineer earning $85k/year, bringing in ~$2,600 biweekly.
• The couple has alternated who holds a job over the last years, with Brittany often supported by Billy, who controlled the finances.
• Financial dependency and access: Brittany admits she was not permitted (in action, if not explicit word) to work during college or have access to joint finances; Billy uses phrases like "let her not work."

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2. Relationship Control, Financial Abuse, & Isolation ([05:28]–[10:35])

• Red flags raised: Caleb directly accuses Billy of controlling and isolating Brittany—citing how quickly she moved in, got engaged, and lost contact with her family.
  • "Her mom literally held her wedding dress to prevent her from getting married to you. You're an issue. You're a problem. Something's up." — Caleb ([07:04])
  • Billy repeatedly tries to deflect blame onto Brittany or her mother, calling the latter a narcissist.
• Brittany tries to clarify that she had a job before, lost it after being pressured by Billy, did not have collections or financial problems until she became involved with him.
• Billy admits to controlling the money, emotionally manipulating decisions (“make her”, “let her”), and shifting the family dynamics to cut Brittany off from her support system.

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3. Explicit Domestic Abuse Revelations ([09:58]–[17:00], [37:08]–[44:31], [39:31]–[41:51])

• Brittany reveals that Billy has physically pushed, shoved, and once choked her during arguments.
  • “He will push me, he will shove me. There was one fight in particular that got very intense, and he grabbed, like, the collar of my shirt and yanked me back, and it choked me.” — Brittany ([39:31])
• Caleb is visibly disturbed, repeatedly calls Billy's behaviour manipulative and abusive, and ensures Brittany receives resources and offers private support.
• Billy shows little remorse, often justifies his behaviour, or downplays the severity. He attempts to rationalize leaving Brittany with little financial means, restricting her movements, and limiting her family support.
• Caleb interrupts and confronts directly:
  • “That is beyond unacceptable. That is disgusting. Unacceptable. And there’s really not words to describe it... That doesn’t happen in love. That’s not love.” ([39:54])
• Caleb and his team promise off-air resources for Brittany, emphasizing the risk of escalation and the importance of safety planning.

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4. Communication Breakdown & Manipulation Patterns ([17:05]–[36:52])

• Recurring fights around trivial household spending, notably Brittany getting a $20 haircut (which became emblematic of Billy’s financial control).
• Billy threatens divorce as a lever over Brittany for various issues (having kids, separate bank accounts, abortion, etc.).
  • “Everything leads to divorce with you. Everything’s grounds for divorce.” — Brittany ([38:01])
• Billy blames Brittany for arguing, for spending, for not arguing, and for any household “failures.”
• Brittany describes having to persistently ask questions to learn about their finances, only to be shut down or yelled at.
• Billy openly admits: “We just don’t really budget whatsoever. We don’t come to agreements.” ([33:47])

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5. Debt & Financial Dysfunction ([53:06]–[92:44])

• Debt totals: ~$44,774 (excluding student loans), with a mix of credit cards, medical collections, “buy now, pay later” loans, and money owed to friends/family.
• Main driver: Billy, whose name is on most debts/collections, but he has frequently encouraged or “pushed” Brittany to open credit cards (leading to her own debt under duress).
  • “He did push me to open [Amazon card]...You pushed me to open all of them.” — Brittany ([79:23])
• Spending habits: High fast food/takeout consumption, lots of Amazon purchases (many dinosaur-themed gifts for Brittany), lease-to-own expensive items like a $600 couch that will cost $2,000 total.
• Financial mismanagement: Missed/lost track of multiple bill payments, relied on autopayments and ignored reminders, resulting in repeated late fees and damaged credit—Billy’s credit score is 511.
• **Brittany’s work/income potential consistently undermined or devalued by Billy, who then attributes debt and lack of savings to her, attempting to paint her as financially incompetent.

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6. Family, Friends, and Further Isolation ([45:42]–[46:17])

• Brittany admits to having no close friends, largely lost contact with family since involvement with Billy, attributing much of this to his control and issues surrounding the wedding.

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7. Reproductive Coercion and Autonomy ([26:22]–[30:50])

• Billy makes it clear he considers having children “grounds for divorce” if Brittany changes her mind about wanting kids.
  • “If she now doesn’t want kids, that is you fundamentally just lying about who you are as a person. It is just such blatant false advertising.” — Billy ([27:20])
• Discusses disagreement around abortion and birth control, Billy asserts final word over reproductive decisions, threatening divorce if Brittany aborts an unplanned pregnancy, further limiting her autonomy.

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8. Physical Health, Diet, and Neglect ([26:00]–[33:12])

• Both struggle with health (Brittany is diabetic, Billy notably obese).
• Food choices dominated by convenience and immediate craving, no cooking skills; both blame the other for junk food purchases.
• High spending on takeout is a flashpoint in recurring arguments.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Relationship Dynamics & Abuse

• Caleb: "It's a little groomesque." ([08:06])
• Caleb: "I'm not in that part of the internet...But the mom said you'd murder her. You locked her in, didn't let her work, engaged her immediately, separated her from her family. It's a little groomesque." ([08:18])
• Brittany: "He will push me. He will shove me. There was one fight in particular that got very intense, and he grabbed, like, the collar of my shirt and yanked me back, and it choked me." ([39:31])
• Caleb: "That is beyond unacceptable. That is disgusting. Unacceptable...That doesn’t happen in love. That’s not love." ([39:54])
• Caleb: "Are you dumb? Are you? I think she's done." ([30:46])

Divorce Threats and Manipulation

• Brittany: “Everything leads to divorce with you. Everything’s grounds for divorce.” ([38:01])
• Billy: “If she now doesn’t want kids, that is you fundamentally just lying about who you are as a person. It is just such blatant false advertising.” ([27:20])

Financial Arguments & Exposure

• Caleb: “All the debt is you, not one is on her.” ([19:00])
• Caleb: "How can you say she needs to budget? ...You’re the one that’s..." ([74:30])
• Caleb: "It's all stupid. Yeah. Ebay. What are you getting from Etsy277? ...That was a Christmas gift for her. It was a dinosaur replica skull." ([64:49])

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Important Timestamps

• [01:26]–[05:19] — Income/employment background
• [05:28]–[10:35] — Relationship history and financial control
• [11:19]–[13:39] — Joint finances, lack of autonomy, and emotional abuse
• [17:05]–[19:19] — Haircut/household spending argument (symbolizing control)
• [26:22]–[30:50] — Children, contraception, divorce threats
• [37:08]–[44:31] & [39:31] — Physical abuse disclosures, safety conversations
• [53:06]–[92:44] — Debt inventory, spending habits, financial incompetence
• [91:18]–[93:56] — Hammer attempts a budget, reveals true cost of their situation
• [33:47], [74:36] — Admission: "We just don't really budget", Billy's admission of shifting blame

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Tone & Atmosphere

• Caleb’s approach: Direct, at times harsh and blunt, empathetic toward Brittany, but unrelenting in confronting Billy about his controlling, manipulative behaviour. Uses humor and sarcasm to cut tension but quickly grounds the conversation when abuse is revealed.
• Brittany: Often hesitant and unsure, displays signs of internalized blame and minimized self-worth—a hallmark of long-term emotional abuse. Shows moments of insight (“a little bit of sunk cost fallacy”), but struggles to imagine alternatives.
• Billy: Defensive, manipulative, sometimes dismissive or condescending. Alternates between rationalizing his behavior, feigning ignorance, or minimization.

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Summary

This is a harrowing look at how financial abuse intertwines with intimate partner violence. What begins as a financial audit transforms into a critical intervention for Brittany, with Caleb not only exposing the utter financial mismanagement but, more importantly, shining a spotlight on the severe emotional and physical abuse that Billy inflicts on his wife. The episode serves as education on red flags—manipulation, financial dependency, isolation, threats of divorce, reproductive coercion—and the need for outside support. Listeners are reminded that “helping” with basic life skills is not a license for abuse, and that making a partner financially dependent is a key tool of abusers. Caleb’s candor and advocacy for Brittany, including real-time resource sharing, makes for a compelling and necessary listen.

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Additional Resources & Aftermath

• Caleb and his team commit to following up with Brittany privately to connect her to domestic violence support resources.
• Caleb addresses directly to audience the reality of escalating abuse and how to seek help.
• Technical/financial advice is ultimately secondary to the episode’s urgent message about safety and autonomy.

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If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse, please seek help.

Transcript

[A]

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[C]

You blame me for everything you've done wrong.

[B]

Like what?

[C]

You just like to hide behind me. Being domineering as the ultimate excuse of you can't do anything wrong. You can hide behind me and say, that's why you don't talk to your family, when in reality, you don't talk to them because you set that boundary.

[B]

I don't talk to them because my mother quite literally said she wants nothing to do with me as long as you're in my life.

[C]

And that's a choice you made.

[A]

Get out for a second. I want to talk to her alone.

[C]

Are you a. Are you afraid of what's gonna happen afterwards?

[B]

A little bit. Not gonna lie. He will push me. He will shove me. There was one fight in particular that got very intense, and he.

[C]

Something big is coming. Something that's going to change personal finance forever.

[A]

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[C]

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[B]

Hi, this is Brittany. I'm 23 years old.

[C]

Hey, I'm Billy. I'm 24. We're from Buffalo, New York, and this is Financial Audit.

[A]

Got some Buffaloes from Buffalo. Welcome down, guys. Happy to have you. Brittany, you're the one in front of me. Let's start with you. Okay. What are you. Oh, scared. What do you do for a living?

[B]

I'm currently unemployed. I.

[A]

That doesn't bring in much. I'll be honest.

[B]

Typically, I have a temporary start date as February 9th.

[A]

Oh, okay. That's a few days from now.

[B]

Go on to become a funeral director resident in New York.

[A]

Lots of funeral people that come on the show. I guess people be dying. What are you going to be making?

[B]

It's allegedly going to be 19 and allegedly.

[A]

What is allegedly? What the. Do you. You're starting in a couple days. How is it allegedly? What is allegedly? You're afraid of a lawsuit. What is allegedly?

[B]

They might change it.

[A]

They might change it when you've already accepted the job. They might change it. The higher or lower?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

Do you actually not know?

[C]

I've seen the offer letter. It's 19, but she's afraid of.

[A]

Did you sign it?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Did you sign your employment? Yeah, sometimes. That's on the start date.

[B]

Well, I'm just not sure I'll be able to start on the 9th because there's some processing that needs to happen. So I'm not sure if it will of the bodies or of you of the paperwork.

[A]

Okay, so, okay, 19 an hour. What do you do, Billy? Cause I hope you make some money. Listen, I actually don't know the cost of living in Buffalo. I know New York is higher, but Buffalo's really out there, so.

[C]

Yeah, it's pretty similar to here. So. I'm a software Engineer. I make 85k a year.

[A]

Oh, yeah, you do. What hits your account per paycheck? I assume this is why you've been allowed to be unemployed.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

How long have you been unemployed?

[B]

I think I quit my previous job back in late September.

[A]

Okay. Curious why, but what hits your account?

[C]

2,600 bi weekly.

[A]

Yeah. You look like a software engineer, don't you?

[C]

Yeah, yeah, I looked, but Brittany loves it. I looked in the mirror and decided, yeah, okay, I'll be a software engineer.

[A]

Nothing gets women wetter than that. Am I right, girl? Yeah, I'm creaming right now. Okay. $5,200 a month. That's not bad. And then with you, 19 an hour, what do we think that's gonna hit? 1940 hours a week?

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Minimum. Yes. They suspect some overtime is an answer for you.

[B]

Do you know things sometimes?

[C]

Not really.

[B]

In general. Wow.

[C]

You don't. You just don't care enough to know things.

[B]

I know some things.

[C]

Besides dinosaurs? What do you know?

[B]

I don't know who the you talking to right now? Who you talking to like that?

[C]

Well, if you knew, we probably wouldn't be here.

[A]

Is this how they behave in Buffalo? Okay.

[B]

Yes. Uh.

[A]

Okay, well, so is that true? Do you just not care?

[B]

No, I do care.

[A]

Well, you. You. He has had to step in and answer for you. Like, if you don't actually know your wage. I'm concerned that maybe you don't.

[B]

No, it is 19, but like I said, I'm not sure if it will stay 19 if I have to redo the paperwork.

[A]

That doesn't really make sense to me. I'll be honest. But okay, let's get your 40,000 bucks a year before any taxes. I'm gonna assume in your account.

[C]

I don't know.

[A]

New York has a little bit of an income tax, but it's not much for your income level, actually. Are we married?

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Oh. So we'll be joint, I assume.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

I bet you're gonna get 2,500 bucks a month. Do we have any kids?

[B]

No.

[A]

Okay. Okay. Weird dynamic out of the gate. I'll be honest. I'll be honest. What the is going on here? What are we talking about?

[C]

So we've basically taken turns of who has a job for the past couple years.

[A]

Oh, you're the one that actually makes money. You don't really make money to be able to go on.

[C]

So it wasn't really willingly at first. So I started at a lower wage, like 8 or 17. And then I got bumped up to 19 an hour. Then I moved halfway across the state for a different job. And her home life was rough, so she just moved in with me immediately.

[A]

Yeah, I've heard about that, by the way. I typically go in blind, but I got a little bit of a information about you. I hear you're a bit of a problem, but go on.

[C]

Yeah, so we ultimately. So she moved in within, like, weeks of us getting together, and we got engaged, like, immediately, and our finances were joint since then. She was still in college when we got together, and she never really, like, had to work until she was done with college because I just didn't make her.

[A]

Let's do a degree. Make her. Yeah, make her. This is lining up with everything I've heard before, by the way. Make her. What is. Make her.

[B]

What?

[A]

What the you mean make her?

[C]

Well, so she's never, like. She's had to work in the past, but not while in college. So I just let her not.

[A]

Let her not. So now you're. What is a letter make. Well, here's the thing. I know you guys applied because you said you need to. She needs to learn how to budget.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

All the debt is you.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And not only that, again, usually I really do go on blind, but I think I just. I had a little. I wanted to read this morning. Took a little look. Dude, her mom literally held her wedding dress to prevent her from getting married to you. You're an issue. You're a problem. Something's up.

[C]

Well, the thing is. So her mother is very much a narcissist, and she thinks I'm gonna.

[A]

Oh, it's your mother's fault, not you. The problem. Who says she needs a bud? You at all. The debt is literally yours and not hers at all whatsoever. And you're deciding whether or not to let her work. Well, make her work.

[C]

Yeah, she didn't have debt before me, but she didn't have a degree either.

[B]

So I also didn't have collections before you.

[C]

And you didn't have a job either.

[B]

I had a job before you.

[C]

You didn't when we got together. You didn't when we moved. When you moved in. You didn't until. Well after graduating. You didn't have a driver's license either. I helped teach you to drive. I got you a car.

[B]

So what are you, my savior?

[C]

Maybe.

[A]

Well, that's an interesting perspective to put you at. It's almost like you kind of. I kind of want to throw out buzzwords. I'm not in that part of the Internet. I'm not one of those virtue signaling freaks. But. I mean the mom said you'd murder her. You kinda locked her in, didn't let her work. Engaged to her, immediately separated for family. It's a little groomesque.

[C]

She could have worked if she wanted. I. I wouldn't have prevented her.

[A]

Force her, let her. And now walking that back third time being like you wouldn't prevent her. It's not really the language you used. And your mom was literally afraid. Her mom was literally afraid that you might murder her. That's not even an exaggeration. Literally was afraid. That's not narcissism. Narcissists aren't afraid of murder. It kind of groomed her.

[C]

We were both young enough. Like, it's not like there's not a big age gap where I could have.

[A]

Necessarily the age gap thing. I mean the more little definition which typically. Yes. Is more for someone that is a minor. But some separating from the family, not letting work using your own language on that, by the way. I know you've walked that back now. Really controlling the finances, moving in immediately. Immediately engaged. It's a little. Not to go full Internet creepy and weird.

[C]

Yeah. I mean it was all her choice. I. She could have walked away at any time.

[B]

I couldn't have. He controlled the finances. I didn't know what the bank accounts looked like and he got mad at me every time I looked.

[C]

And you just didn't ask.

[A]

I asked. Bro, that literally just contradicted everything you just said. What the. Okay. I was not expecting that. I'll be honest. Okay. Taking me for a little bit of a turn there. So fully controlling the finances. But she said she asked. You say she didn't ask. She could have left. She said she could have. What the what?

[C]

So she would only try to bring the conversations up very late at night in bed when I have to get up and go to work in like six hours and only. Only ever ask about it at like 2am and that's when I would be mad. It's not that we were. I was mad about talking about, okay.

[A]

Then bring it up the next day.

[C]

Yeah. And I did.

[A]

And you bring it up the next day.

[C]

I would. And then she would say, it's. It's fine. It's. We just won't talk about it.

[A]

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[B]

Britney, it would never line up. When we wanted to talk about it, I asked about it. I would open up whatever app and look and see what balances are and what's owed.

[C]

And if you can do that, you don't need me to talk about it. If you can see the balances, we don't need to talk.

[B]

I couldn't see everything. You hid things from me.

[C]

I didn't hide from you. You have all the logins.

[B]

Not all of them. You.

[C]

I use the same password and username for everything. And you know what that is.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I mean, I'm talking about out of the gate too. The weird separation from family. She literally doesn't talk to her mother now because of you. Specifically because of you. You've basically cut that contact, cut that relationship. You cut her off from the world. That's red flags galore, dude.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And again, I do not throw things out lightly because people throw around these buzzwords like crazy. But I'm just going off the information. And I know it got weird here, man. You borderline stalked her when you saw her. You had a girlfriend again, I did a little bit of reading. You had a girlfriend, immediately threw her out, downloaded and paid for all the premium versions of the app to try to go refind her again and did everything in your world to find her. And then the moment you did, moved in, locked her away from her family, stalking, then separating, controlling the finances, not being willing to talk.

[C]

Yeah, well, the relationship I was in at the time when she originally found me was a longdistance relationship where we were on and off again.

[A]

What I just said, it's how you went about it. Finding her and locking her away in the castle.

[C]

I. I didn't lock her away. She. Again, she could have walked away at any time.

[A]

Yeah, but you know, she was not in a financial position to do so. She is concerning. It is concerning when we see a woman in that situation. Specifically. Not that you're weaker as a gender, I don't know. But it is a bit weird because men do tend to take a more domineering presence in a traditional relationship. And if you're over the finances. No, if she wanted to leave, she actually really couldn't. She wouldn't have a dime to her name. Especially if you wouldn't let her work. Discouraged work. And then you started to think about forcing her work. It's odd, man. It's odd.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah. So I. I know it looks bad, but it's just. It's really not. I.

[A]

It looks bad. You literally. Okay, didn't say this yet. Made her. Forced her to quit her job, which would give her some sense of financial independence if to leave. You forced her to quit her job. What job was it?

[B]

My previous job was. I was a collections agent at a bank.

[A]

And you forced her to quit.

[C]

Yeah, she was A, going to be fired anyways, and B.

[A]

Why? Why? How can you say that?

[C]

So her department was not doing well whatsoever and they were saying, we're going to cut the department entirely, so. And she already get fired and get.

[A]

Some severance if that's a potential option. Also, she also laid off, not fired.

[C]

She was also miserable every night at that job.

[A]

So here's the white knight separating her from the reality of the world and any kind of financial independence she might have.

[C]

Yeah, she was miserable every day and was working on studying to take the exams to become the funeral directing resident. There's exams you have to take that she was studying for, and if you fail it, you have to spend, like, another $600 to retake it. So I told her, well, just quit and study full time for a month or two, then take it, and then you can still be in that role come the start of the new year.

[A]

That's Brittany. This is a lot of shit stacking up. That looks off to me.

[B]

I. I don't know.

[A]

You don't know? Hearing that, what all do you think? What all do you think? Are you afraid to speak on what you think?

[B]

I do feel like I should have stayed.

[C]

You should have stayed at home, better job.

[B]

No, I should have stayed at my job because I feel like I knew you were gonna, like, you know, use it against me.

[C]

I haven't used it against you yet.

[B]

We fought over it before.

[C]

Yeah, we fought over it before, but that's not me using it against you. It's just. Yeah, we just haven't had that much money and. Okay, your haircut. Well, you want to go to that argument here?

[B]

Sure.

[C]

So she goes. Year in, the entire time we've been together, she has gotten exactly one haircut. And the only time she's ever mentioned it was. So the only haircut you've gotten was a couple months before the wedding, and that was 23. So October of 23. So she hasn't asked since then for any kind of hairstyling, whatever, whatsoever. But then a week after quitting her job, she's like, hey, I want to go get my hair styled. And it's like, well, okay, sure you can. But you couldn't have maybe done this a week or two ago when we had the additional income?

[B]

It would have been like $20.

[C]

But then when I asked you again about it a couple of weeks ago and tell you, dude, seriously, it's fine. We'll work with it. It's whatever. Just get. Go get it cut. You're saying, well, no, it's going to be like 2 or 300.

[B]

I don't remember saying that.

[C]

Of course you don't.

[B]

It wouldn't be 2 or 300. It would be like, at most like, maybe $40.

[C]

And I've been telling you to go for weeks, but because of the one time I said, hey, I'd prefer if you had done it when we had the extra income. I'm the asshole.

[B]

Yes. Because.

[A]

If, if.

[C]

If you're going to spend $50 on something, would you rather have an extra amount of money to do it or not have the extra amount of money to do it? I would say always rather have the extra money to do it.

[B]

It shouldn't matter. It really doesn't matter.

[C]

And that's why I ultimately said, just do it. I would prefer to have the extra income when you had done it or when you will do it. But it's really not the end of the world.

[B]

No, I will do it when I have my own income. Because it's caused such a fight before.

[C]

The only reason it's causing a fight is because of you. I've said to just go and get it cut so many times now.

[B]

I don't understand why it caused a fight in the first place if you're willing to spend $40 on McDonald's.

[C]

I didn't even want to say that shit in the first place. All I said is, okay. And you took. And you then argued, well, what's wrong? And it took you asking seven times before I said, ultimately, I would have preferred if you had done it when we had the income, but it is what it is. But because you dragged it out. Yeah, I did say it.

[B]

I always have to drag things out of you.

[C]

Yeah, because any conversation we try to have is a fight.

[B]

Yeah, because you don't tell me what's wrong.

[A]

Because you don't ask.

[C]

You wait until shit gets to the boiling point and then ask.

[B]

No, I do ask. I have to ask so many times before you say, what's wrong.

[C]

Yeah, because most of the time it is bullshit that doesn't matter. It's, oh, my sock has a hole in it. That doesn't need to be a massive thing. And at a certain point, the thing that's wrong is you continuously asking what's wrong.

[A]

So, to be clear, one, you're shaking your hand. I don't know if it's the diabetes or rage. Two, listen, complaining about her getting a haircut, like, twice in three years and needing socks that don't have holes in it when literally all the debt is you, not one is on her.

[B]

Some of it is maybe some of the stuff you financed and let it go to collections.

[A]

I know that some debts are under her name that you forced her to open.

[C]

She's got student loans and the car was a joint decision, which we'll get to when we get there.

[A]

Joint? Is anything joint here? You steamroll her, you lay on her, she just doesn't.

[C]

She just doesn't say shit. And then when she does, she just doesn't stay on it.

[A]

I think. I honestly don't think in the end you give a shit about her.

[C]

I.

[A]

Phone call last night. She's going into the whole big story about how she was in the ICU and almost died. Very tragic. Very sad. There was a little bit of a pause right after she said that, and then you come and you chime in, but did you die, though?

[C]

Yeah, well, every. Every single time anything happens, it's just, well, I almost died last year. And, like, yeah, sure, that is sympathetic, but you. You didn't. And, yeah, sure, you're saying, oh, this is going to come for you in the long term, that it's diabetes catching up to you, and you're worried that you don't want to do certain things because you think it's gonna come for you. But, yeah, it did almost come for you yesterday. And you're right, you did almost die last year because of it. But ultimately you didn't, and now you're taking care of it so that doesn't happen again. So, like, yeah, it did happen, and, yeah, you did almost die, but ultimately you are now doing the steps to prevent that, and you are now taking care of yourself in a way where that won't happen again.

[B]

That's not necessarily true.

[C]

You have a constant glucose monitor on your arm. You check your blood sugars constantly. You take insulin. It will not happen again. Before, you just ate whatever, didn't take insulin, and just didn't give a shit. So, yeah, ultimately, it's gonna happen eventually.

[A]

You have tits bigger than my head. What are you talking about? Are you telling me you do not have diabetes?

[B]

He's not diabetic.

[A]

Yet. Yet? Dude, you're 24. I'm assuming type two.

[B]

I actually have no idea.

[A]

Shouldn't you find that out?

[C]

I probably should, but her mother never had her tested.

[A]

Oh, okay. But you have been an adult for, like, seven years now. I know he won't let you out of the house, so I understand that now. It pisses me off, people sitting around with 25,000 in credit card debt, making minimum payments, thinking they're fine, but you're not. You're getting crushed by compounding debt every single month, every fee and point of interest working against you while you're over here budgeting your groceries down to the last penny. And here's the truth. That BAL isn't going anywhere with minimum monthly payments. It builds and builds until suddenly you've paid thousands without making any actual progress. And it's going to stay that way unless you do something. And that is where PDS debt comes in. They've already helped hundreds of thousands of people reduce what they owe, lower their payments, and get back on solid financial ground. And they're not just looking at your credit Card statements. PDS that has customized options for anyone struggling with credit cards, personal loans, collections or medical bills. And here's what I love. They understand your specific scenario and help provide alternative solutions to becoming debt free. No minimum credit score required. They go beyond the numbers to craft a personalized plan designed just for you. They're here to help you save more, pay off your debt faster and start putting money back where it belongs in your pocket. Honestly, this is exactly what I'd do if I needed to rebalance my debt. Plus, they're legit. A plus rated by the Better Business Bureau. Thousands of five star reviews on Google. Five star rating on Trustpilot. That doesn't just happen by accident. You are just 30 seconds away from being debt free with PDS debt. Get your free assessment and find the best option for you right now at PDS debt.com hammer that is PDSDE.com hammer there must be a severe lack of independence. Why. Why wouldn't you go get tested? Cause I. I wouldn't doubt that it actually would be his never ending influence over you. The shadow he casts on your entire life.

[B]

For what it's worth, I just. I guess I didn't care enough.

[A]

Why don't you care? Why don't you care? Because this guy right here is fully controlling you. I wouldn't be surprised and you for this, but I wouldn't be surprised if you just didn't care as much about life right now because you're just not happy. I mean, two haircuts in a few years. What the are we doing? She can't look like a woman. She can't feel beautiful. She can't do what she wants to be happy. I'm not saying treating herself. Manny, some petties, five seconds of every day, you know, all the time. No, but two haircuts in two years. Not wanting socks with holes in them when you're making nearly six figures. What the are we talking about? I would assume maybe she's not that happy. Would you not?

[C]

No, I wouldn't be. But if I wanted a haircut, I would mention it more often than just a single time. A week after quitting my job.

[A]

Why is that the biggest thing in the world? Listen, when people quit their job, which by the way, you forced her to quit her job, she wishes she stayed there. She is saying that now, but. So that kind of comes with like the feeling of a layoff. Anyway, if you were convincing her she was about to get laid off. People get in depressive episodes when they get laid off. Even quit they Lose something. Maybe she wanted to look good for job interviews, for feeling better. She wanted to inflate herself. And you are obviously the breadwinner in a lot of ways, and that traps her, to be clear. But either way, I could see. Is it the best time to get a haircut? Logically, no. Emotionally, you can understand it, though. Yeah. And you said 20 bucks. 20 bucks. I know for a fact that looking through everything you prioritize every single day. $20 minimum of takeout over her needs and her wants and her desire and any kind of potential future together. 20 bucks for a haircut? You. That's what you're hung up on? You're freaking out about 20 bucks for a haircut a few years ago. What is wrong with you?

[C]

And. And that's why I told her to just get it cut.

[A]

Yeah. After you guys fought about it and literally just rethought about it, it somehow lingers on you. I don't even know how it's possible.

[C]

Sorry, I need a moment to figure out how I'm going to phrase this.

[A]

Oh, you take your time. Yeah. Be careful with your words.

[C]

So she likes to just ignore things until it is such a massive thing to go back and correct them.

[B]

Really?

[C]

Yeah, really, really? Yeah.

[B]

What about your weight?

[C]

I don't think there is correcting it at any point.

[B]

Yeah, not at this point.

[C]

I don't think there was at any point.

[A]

We live in a world of oic.

[C]

Yeah. I can't.

[A]

It's the easiest.

[C]

I can't. I can't.

[A]

What about the pill form?

[C]

I. No, Like, I can't do either. Both affect your.

[A]

I think you can consume less calories than you.

[C]

That one. Yeah. But my mother had thyroid cancer, and it runs in the family, and those tend to trigger that.

[A]

Eat less.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Eat cleaner.

[C]

Yeah. And I was.

[A]

What do you mean you can't lose weight? What is this? Like.

[C]

No, Like, I can't do the morbidly obese.

[A]

You're not. Oh, yeah, you're obese, but you're morbidly obese. Yeah, I'm obese. You're morbidly obese.

[C]

Yeah. I was doing well for the first half of last year losing weight, and then I just immediately fell off. Once I got laid off. I got laid off. Yeah.

[A]

For how long?

[C]

I was laid off from May until the end of July.

[A]

Now, why are you guys even considering having kids? Because I know this is a huge disagreement you guys have having kids. What the Are we talking about? Is it one of those. And please tell me he really wants Kids.

[B]

It's grounds for divorce if we don't.

[A]

From whose angle?

[C]

From mine. Because going into this, she said, yeah, I want kids. If she did.

[A]

Trapped her. Yeah. Okay, go on.

[C]

If she didn't want kids from the start, I wouldn't be in the position of like, oh, this is a serious issue. If she had just upfront been like, I seriously don't want kids, and it's not a possibility, we just wouldn't have gotten together. Because that is one of those bigger things that couples just can't just. It's a major life decision. And yeah, if you now don't want kids, that is you fundamentally just lying about who you are as a person. It is just such blatant false advertising.

[B]

Because I'm not allowed to change my mind.

[C]

You can change your mind, wear a different shirt, wear different shoes, whatever, but changing your mind about a major thing like that years later.

[B]

Yeah, but you've also said that we could consider adoption, something like that.

[C]

Yeah. And you've said you don't even want to do that.

[A]

He doesn't even have kids.

[C]

No, we don't have kids.

[A]

No. Can you.

[C]

Oh, yeah, probably.

[A]

Probably. Buddy, I'm looking at you. There is a very, very high statistical chance your nut does not carry enough sperm. Yeah. Yeah, you could probably. Raw dog, right? How often do you guys. I don't know.

[C]

How often do we.

[B]

Not often.

[A]

Yeah. And I'm sure you wish it was even less, but. Yeah, I don't think if that shit was raw dogged, anything would result in anything anyway.

[C]

Yeah, probably not. She also. She blames me for her birth control.

[A]

What?

[B]

I do.

[A]

What? No, no, no. Just tell me what the. Is going on. What the. We don't right now. Go on. Please tell me.

[C]

You. You didn't research all the different types. You went with the stick because it's the safest, lowest maintenance, whatever. And then when you had side effects, tried blaming me for them without researching the side effects heavily first.

[B]

Sorry, I don't know if we can. We go into abortion.

[A]

You can go into whatever you want to go into. This is up to you.

[B]

Yeah, that's. That's part of the reason why. It's actually a big reason why I went with birth control.

[A]

He made you have an abortion?

[B]

No, he said that if. If I ended up pregnant, we were keeping it.

[A]

Well, yeah, that's what birth control's for. But also condoms and. Yeah, more.

[C]

And the biggest thing is I. If. If we. If she gets pregnant, I want to keep the kid because I want to have kids. Even if it comes at an inopportune time, if.

[B]

If I don't, If I'm not ready for it, I. I don't want to have it. And you've said that if I. If I have an abortion, that's also grounds for divorce.

[C]

Yeah, because it's just. It is a. Yeah, it's ultimately your body, your choice, whatever. But it's not like it's also my kid too.

[B]

Yeah, but I'm not gonna push out a kid if I'm not ready for it.

[C]

That's the thing. Nobody ever thinks they're ready for it. Nobody is ever fully ready for it.

[B]

Okay, let me correct myself. I don't want to have kids if we're in thousands of debt.

[C]

We're always going to be thousands in debt.

[B]

Yeah, because of you. Okay, I didn't have debt before you.

[A]

I mean, that seems relatively fair. And the debt that she does have in her name is debt you forced upon her, made her open up on her own. Besides the joint car.

[C]

Also student loans.

[A]

I think that is kind of fair. Okay, but student loans are such a low interest, high protection debt that usually has a good return on investment compared to the rest of the bullshit.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So how does communication even work in this house?

[C]

It doesn't.

[B]

It doesn't.

[A]

Yeah, I'm getting that. I feel like you're a domineering force, and I feel like you should not be there, but you don't really make money, as it would be kind of unfortunately impossible. Could get you connected with resources. We'll say that. We'll send those to you separately. But the thing is, maybe just say you don't want to have kids. It's kind of a get out of jail free card. Grooming over.

[B]

I'd like to stay with him if I can.

[C]

Like, I'm not trying to be me.

[A]

Like, are you dumb? Are you? I think she's done.

[B]

I think she's done.

[A]

I think she's done.

[B]

Why?

[A]

After all this. Why, after all that? Why? Possibly because you don't know what anything else looks like at this point.

[B]

Well, he. He does have a point. He did help me, you know, get through college, get my driver's license.

[A]

What?

[B]

I just help, though.

[A]

I mean, that's just you. That's. That's very basic stuff. That, that, that should. That should not be gold stars for him. That does not make up for the. Him prioritize yelling at you. Literally yelling at you for $20 haircut. Literally not getting you socks with hol. Literally prioritizing 20, 30, $40 to take out every single day over you. Just having any semblance of normalcy, cutting off your relationship with your mother, moving you in early, you know, forcing you to do all these different things, including to have kids, even if you don't want to. Which, I mean, I do understand that that would be maybe a little upsetting if you guys agreed upon that. I can see that. But someone's allowed to change their mind and their marriages are also allowed to end. But the thing is, with the guilt trip, he would probably use over you, it would likely be, oh, you're going to have a kid even if you don't want to. If I'm being completely honest, because I have a feeling this guy always gets his way in the end. And you kind of just go along with it because you're stuck there and you've known nothing else besides this in your adulthood, and you're cut off from your resources. You really are. This is. I'm reading this from an outside perspective. No one will ever know what truly goes on in the household more than you guys. That is true. But after all that, really, that's what you want to have kids with? After everything I just said?

[B]

Yeah, he did help me a lot. I just think he went about it in a way too domineering way.

[A]

What's the health, though? Driver's license? That's not a gold star. That doesn't make up for all that shit. You're giving him credit. That is very basic. Hearing you say that is actually quite sad. It is quite sad to hear because you shouldn't be thinking like that. Like, he doesn't. That is an excuse. And it's very basic. That shouldn't even be congratulatory. It really should have. The fact that it is means that there's absolutely nothing.

[B]

I do think it's also a little bit of sunken cost fallacy.

[A]

Oh, sure. I mean, how many years have we spent on each other now?

[C]

Four.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It is hard to see that just go away. It is hard to see that entering our second half of the 20s and it's just like, well, I spent all this time. What am I doing? I get that.

[C]

I feel like, yeah, I might be bad, but I know her mother's worse.

[A]

What the are we talking about? That doesn't even matter. Maybe her mother is a bad person. That doesn't mean you get to be bad. That does not excuse that in any way whatsoever. What the kind of cope is that? That's some bullshit right there. Never gonna accept that kind of answer. The you Talking about. So the conversations, they don't go well. Obviously, you stream, roll, steamroll. But what are some financial conversations that actually happen in this household? Disagreements, things I want to understand a baseline of what's happening.

[C]

So we just don't really budget whatsoever. We don't come to agreements.

[A]

We?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

When you applied and you talked yesterday, you said, she needs to learn how to budget, when in fact, all this is your issue. So now you're saying we. Mm. It's good luck.

[C]

Yeah, well, there is no budget whatsoever. We just. We do. We get groceries. We don't cook them because she usually wants something else.

[A]

Gets takeout every day.

[C]

Dude, the takeout isn't usually my idea. I just.

[A]

Oh, really?

[C]

Really?

[A]

Is this true?

[B]

I do feel like you will put it in my head that you want to do takeout, and then it's ultimately me who says yes or no.

[C]

Yeah, I see. To every idea in your head, You've never had anything bad in your mind whatsoever. Everything you've done wrong has ultimately come from me, Right? No Going back to old reliable.

[B]

I think that's what you do with the takeout.

[A]

Old reliable. What?

[B]

Yeah. What do you mean by that?

[C]

You blame me for everything you've done wrong.

[B]

Like what?

[C]

You just like to hide behind me. Being domineering as the ultimate excuse of you can't do anything wrong. You can hide behind me and say that's why you don't talk to your family when in reality, you don't talk to them because you set that boundary.

[B]

I don't talk to them because my mother quite literally said she wants nothing to do with me as long as you're in my life.

[C]

And that's a choice you made. I didn't tell you to do that. She gave you the ultimatum.

[B]

And you're also the reason I don't talk to my brother or my nephews.

[C]

Why don't you talk to them?

[B]

Because. Issues with the wedding.

[C]

And what were the issues?

[B]

Just people didn't want to cooperate.

[C]

And why didn't they want to cooperate?

[B]

Because you were. I don't even know what to call it. You were in charge of every single decision with the wedding. I couldn't even have my grandparents there. Because you didn't want them there.

[C]

You said you didn't want them there.

[B]

I changed my mind against.

[C]

You changed your mind after we gave the venue the full guest list.

[B]

No, I didn't.

[C]

You also said that you were going to invite them just because it would appease your mother and you didn't want to argue with Her.

[B]

That wouldn't. That wouldn't have been the only reason I had them there.

[C]

Well, that's not what you said.

[A]

Oh, guys. Oh. What the. What the. I asked for what a financial conversation is like, and it devolves into that. What the. I don't even remember your answer for what does a financial conversation look like? I don't even remember what was the answer. Oh, takeout. See? So you say, okay, you say it's her idea, but you. But she said that you start planting the idea. Listen, I also know from my little redo ready before that every time she doesn't want to do something you like, you just endlessly accuse her, pushing the goalposts on everything, like she's not allowed to have any ground to stand on.

[C]

She can. She just chooses not to stand on that ground. I want her to push back in conversations right now. I want her to be arguing. I want her to talk more, but she just won't. So, yeah, it leads to me being domineering afterwards. Are you afraid of what's going to happen afterwards?

[B]

A little bit. Not going to lie.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Okay. I don't like that. What? Tell me.

[B]

You just. You're so controlling.

[C]

In what way?

[B]

What do you mean? The finances.

[C]

You. You. Our accounts are in our joint name. You have access to them. You can log in on your phone right now, open a bank account somewhere else, transfer all the money to it with your new job. I've said, hey, let's do different accounts for each other. You can keep a large chunk of your money separate. I'll keep my chunks separate. We'll divide the bills.

[B]

You've gone back and forth on that so much.

[C]

Yeah, because I want you to have an out if you want one. I don't want to be accused of you being with me just because of.

[B]

A dollar, and then I'm an asshole if I have a way out.

[C]

No, I want you to have a way out. If you want a way out, I want you to take it.

[B]

You said originally that if we had separate accounts that you were gonna divorce me. Everything leads to divorce with you. Everything's ground for divorce.

[A]

Manipulator. Grooming. Manipulator. Get out for a second. I want to talk to her alone. Get the out for a second. Okay. I don't like you right now. Leave. We'll take you to a different room. Yeah, waddle your way away. Bye. Bye, Bye, bye, bye. Bye, bye, bye. Are you okay? What the Is this household? Listen, I know this is on camera right now, so of course he could See this and probably will, but the fact that. Okay, well, we will talk off camera afterwards, to be very clear, alone with you in private, my production staff. But while we are here. Are you okay? Do you feel safe? What the is going on, dude? This is insane. This is not. Listen, I knew he was a problem when I was reading before and, you know, got some information, but I didn't think it was to this extent. Hearing the actual language and disagreements and the way he's just endlessly throwing you under the bus and like you're you. I'm happy you're at least saying you are a little nervous about the words. But look, are you okay?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Are you safe?

[B]

Generally, yes.

[A]

Generally, yes. That is not the answer. Someone wants to hear. What is generally, yes.

[B]

We do have fights. They get pretty intense.

[A]

Tell me.

[B]

There have been a couple times where he's physically threatened me. He will push me, he will shove me. There was one fight in particular that got very intense, and he grabbed, like, the collar of my shirt and yanked me back, and it choked me.

[A]

We did not know this, did we? Okay, okay. This is going a different direction. First of all, I'm gonna let you know that is beyond unacceptable. That is disgusting. Unacceptable. And there's really not words to describe it. And listen. Oh, okay. Afterwards, in private, we'd like your private communication also. I know he's watching this. You. By the way, that's the on ex. No, that doesn't happen. That doesn't happen in love. It doesn't happen in passion. Listen, a little scream here and there between two spouses. Big passions, okay? Physical choking, collars, grabbing, pushing. That doesn't happen. Stopping someone from leaving, that doesn't happen. That's not love. That's not love. And that is not how a man should treat his wife. It's not how a wife should treat his man either. But to be very clear, there is, you know, genetic and biological things that he is likely to be stronger. And he is in that position of power. And that is unacceptable. And I'm sorry. So what we're going to do off camera, and again, I know you're seeing this. Go yourself. We will get you contact information, especially for any kind of local group we can find, but certainly national. I need to be very clear, next time that happens, couple options. Definitely call those numbers, those resources we provide. I would say text us. This is like, I want to make sure that what is happening has an instant response, you know, so it's like, you know, definitely feel free to keep us updated. We'll try Our best. Lindsay's going to give you her personal phone number. She just said. Because, I mean, I don't think you realize just how that actually is. I really don't. You've been trapped inside of this.

[B]

I've been looking past it.

[A]

Yes. Well, you have. You've been cut off from your outside world. It's terrifying. But 911 police report. That is violence. I know that sounds extreme. And in that moment you're like, oh, I do love him. And you can love him. You can love someone and it be a bad person and bad relationship and bad things at the same time. They don't have to be mutually exclusive. They really do not. Yeah, violence escalates in domestic abusive relationships. And the fact that that has already shown signs in just a few years and we're talking potential decades left. And he manipulates. He knows you love him, he knows you don't have anywhere to go, you have no money, he gets you to leave jobs and he cut off all your relationships. He knows that you can't leave. Raise your hand if you've been meaning to book a doctor's appointment for, I don't know, the past year. Yeah, mine is up too. I used to doom scroll symptoms at 2am, self diagnose with whatever WebMD threw at me and say it's probably fine and then continue ignoring it. Classic. But this year we're doing better with today's sponsor, zocdoc. Zocdoc is a free app and website that helps you find and book high quality in network doctors so you can find someone you love. They've got over 150 and providers across all 50 states and more than 200 specialties. Dermatology, dentistry, primary care, even eye care. You can search by symptom, filter by your insurance, check out real patient reviews. Maybe they hate small talk just as much as you. And then you just book. You literally see their real time availability and click to book. No phone tag, no 90s hold music, just done. And most appointments happen within 24 to 72 hours, some even same day in person or video visit. It's your call. I use it. And honestly you should too. So stop putting it off and go to Zocdoc.com Caleb to book a doctor you love today that is Z O C-O C.com Caleb thanks Zocdoc for sponsoring this message. Let's get back to the episode. That's kind of stupid, I'll be honest. But what's not is actually getting a checking account that gives you free money. Free Money. We like free money. You can get up to $350 in bonus cash right now when you sign up for the checking account that I use, Chime. Also. It makes your savings grow at a 3.5 APY interest rate. Guys, you can watch Financial Audit and get free money at the same time. Who would have thought? That's incredible. Check it out. Link in the description below. Sign up for chime. Get that $350 right now in your checking account. So he threatens that divorce. And it's terrifying. It's manipulative, it's disgusting.

[B]

I don't exactly have anywhere else to go.

[A]

Exactly. So we're going to try to get you set up with resources so you do have a place to go. But also the police is okay to call in those moments. It really is. I mean, for what it's worth, I'm not saying this is necessarily something I encourage, but we had a member's audit and their situation had domestic abuses from the wife to the man. And that was a couple years ago when she actually faced punishments because he called the police. And she ended up getting mental health and she dramatically improved her life. And they are able to reunite and now they actually have a good life. So there is. Is a better future potentially. I'm not. I don't want you to just grab onto that and go through a world of just for that. But I'm just saying maybe help can be provided. I will set him up with a therapist. Maybe he needs to control his anger. But just because you call the police doesn't mean the. It's the end of the world. Okay? That's what I'm trying to say with that. Because she faced her consequences and he was safe and their kids were safe and they were able to come back together. We heard you. Nine years of bring back the snack wrap and you've won. But maybe you should have asked for more.

[C]

Say hello to the hot honey snack wrap.

[A]

Now you've really won. Go to McDonald's and get it while you can. What's your friends situation like in your areas near you? Because I know your family's situation's a bit strained.

[B]

Uh, you said friends. Yeah, I don't really have any.

[A]

Yeah. Okay.

[B]

I think.

[C]

Why?

[B]

I have one. I just don't talk to people.

[A]

Okay. Is that a you thing? Is it kind of what's been encouraged?

[B]

It's. It's more so me. I just don't talk to people.

[A]

Okay, listen. So again, we are gonna do that. I am gonna bring him in. I am gonna get Him. So I'm going to treat this as hopeful optimism. But prepare for the worst, okay? Prepare for the worst with sending him to therapy. Deal with his. And you. You know, we're going to get you resources, hoping for the better that he gets a under control. If you guys actually do love each other and want a future, we will do the financial audit as normal. Okay. Because I know that's what you guys came here for, and I'm going to deliver what we have promised. But this is a bit up that I need you to know that I'm okay. Okay. We're gonna bring him in. We're gonna bring him back in. Okay? Welcome back. I feel so welcomed. Have a seat. Don't break it. Pull in the mic. Listen, why do I have a note that you told Lindsay that you're annoyed she's gonna start working again and you're gonna be bitter once she starts working again. Why do I have that note? What, though, is that?

[C]

So when she starts working again, what.

[A]

She'S gonna be able to have any kind of independence? She might be able to leave if she desires.

[C]

No, she's gonna be constantly complaining that I work more, that I make more than her, and I don't have a degree and she does and I'm signing it.

[B]

Yeah, he doesn't have a degree. He didn't go to college for what he works in. And.

[A]

Well, I don't think we should be bitter about that.

[B]

I just. I feel like I. I worked so much harder for my profession.

[A]

Okay. I mean, this is the first time I'm gonna take his side for what it's worth, because I just want to be objective on each subject matter as a whole and not take into account the entire conversation because I'm kind of anti you right now, I'll be honest. But, I mean, that's fine. You can get a certification, make money. You can go through trade school and make more. I mean, people go get doctorates and art history and they're gonna make less. Like, it doesn't matter the amount of time and hard work and. I don't know, different careers have different demands and the market pays what it pays. He's also in a career software engineer, where it's had the second highest layoffs this year so far. So it's. Or last year, federal government being number one. But, like, it's. It's not. It's not roses and perfection. It's also $80,000. A lot of software engineers, especially in New York, make, you know, 100,000.

[B]

Yeah, I don't Agree with that. I will never agree with the path you took.

[A]

I.

[C]

Then take it yourself. If what I do is so easy, do it.

[B]

I already h. I have my degree.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

I. I did the two year program. I have my degree. Funeral directing.

[A]

Well, again. So you're just getting the demand that kind of comes with that. You're getting the pay that you signed up for the degree that you knew the pay. I mean, that's fair.

[B]

He knew the pay for his role as well.

[C]

That's why I did it.

[B]

How did you go from 19 an hour to 80k?

[A]

Because he's a software engineer.

[C]

Yeah, I.

[B]

What do you do besides sit at.

[A]

A computer all day on the computer? Doesn't matter. It's what the market demands. That literally doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Like what the market demands is what the market demands. We don't live in like communism.

[B]

I don't agree with it.

[A]

Is it jealousy?

[B]

A little bit.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I went to college for two years. I did the classes for two years.

[A]

Yeah, but you know the pay though, when you went into it. Right. So you're choosing to pursue that path. But you knew the pay.

[B]

I just. I still think that I should not always make less than you. I will always make less than you.

[C]

Not again. Not necessarily. If you. The high end for a funeral director is probably on the higher end of what I can make as a salaried software engineer. Because if, if she were to ultimately open her own funeral home after years.

[A]

Business though, loans and all this.

[C]

Yeah, that's typically the end goal for funeral directing.

[A]

Okay, I gotta jump into these finances. Guys. Listen, I don't know if it should be together. I also want her to have independence. Definitely wouldn't get kids yet. Marriage. I would have taken a little more time. I need. There's going to be some separate conversations after this episode. I will be honest. Yeah. Not the biggest fan of what you guys got going on. Let's see for a second. What do you guys think your household financial score is?

[C]

0.

[B]

I think maybe like a 3.

[A]

Okay. If you want to see where you stand in the world of finances, take the Hammer financial score for free. Just takes a few minutes@caleb hammer.com See where you stand, where you're doing poorly, where you're doing great. You guys are awesome. I love you guys. And make sure to download the new and improved and awesome dollar wise budgeting app and make sure you sign up for the annual version. You will get my signed budgeting cookbook signed directly to you. That ends at the end of March and then it's gone forever. You also get my signed. You also get my sign. You also get my signed meal plan as well. So check that out, guys. March is the last to get both. And the cookbook is gone forever. All those links are in the description below. I know you applied to work here. Yeah. Were you guys gonna move to Austin?

[C]

Honestly, I. Yeah, probably would have.

[A]

I guess we could keep a closer eye on you.

[C]

I. I do. I'm not a huge fan of Buffalo. There's just not much going on.

[A]

There is.

[C]

That's. Yeah. Yeah. Honestly. Yes. Only people that like football and even them.

[A]

But do you move?

[C]

I would.

[A]

No. Do you move? Austin's an active town.

[B]

No.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, what would you do here?

[C]

Barbecue maybe? I've heard good things.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Well, ultimately part of the plan is to lose weight. But buddy, I'm sorry.

[A]

Listen, as a yo. Yoer myself, as someone that is on a decent weight loss journey this year so far, how is it the plan? That's not a the plan. You're either doing it or you're not. You don't have a plan to. What's your plan?

[C]

To lose weight, eat less and move more.

[A]

Okay, then do that, fatty. What?

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

I'm sorry. From a fellow fatty. Fatty food. Do that. It sure does. It really does. I know. I struggle with it too, as a fatty. That's not a plan. It's you do it or you don't. If you're not doing it, there is no plan.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And if you want to have kids, I'd like you to actually be alive for them.

[C]

That is. That's another part of the conversation of having kids is why we want to do that sooner rather than later.

[A]

Well, no, just don't be fat.

[C]

I've never really.

[A]

So the first four statements are collections of yours. Because again, I don't know why you put on her. Why are you. The collections up the dick, dude?

[B]

Huh?

[A]

Huh? What are you doing? What are you doing? What's going on, asshole.

[C]

Pick one and I'll answer.

[A]

Okay. $587 for. I don't know. Cause it's the collection.

[C]

587.

[A]

Well, you got.

[C]

That was probably a. What deserve. Yeah, that was a credit card I opened while in college.

[A]

Okay. Why didn't you pay it while in college, asshole?

[C]

I ultimately just didn't. I don't have a great reason.

[A]

She's the one that needs to budget. Huh?

[C]

Yeah, right.

[A]

You Synchrony Bank. $2,377. Why didn't you Pay it. You.

[C]

During that time I was unemployed, so that. That one does have a. Fair enough.

[A]

Why didn't you pay on it when you were employed? You make money.

[C]

I made the minimums most of the time.

[A]

Okay, until you did it. Then it went to collections. What the you talking about? It's in collections. Minimums most of the time. You. It's in collections.

[C]

Yeah, Yeah, I know.

[A]

You can always move across the room to your computer and check.

[C]

Yeah, it. A lot of the stuff that's in collections, a few of them were auto pays that I just didn't check on. And I don't answer my phone. If it's not a number I don't recognize, it shouldn't be a phone call.

[A]

Buddy, it's there. It's your accounts. Check your shit. Look at your phone. What are you doing? I know. All you do is look at a screen all day. Then no one ends up looking like you. Who doesn't? So come on, I know you can check this shit.

[C]

I could, but I didn't because I.

[A]

Thought you were paying Reddit mod final boss again.

[C]

I thought I trusted the autopay and I just didn't check it.

[A]

What do you think of this? Because I know you discovered a lot of this on the phone call last night with Lindsay. She's telling me you didn't know a lot of this existed.

[C]

Well, she knew it existed.

[A]

She off you fat. It is her turn to speak.

[B]

Like I said, he would get mad at me every time that I would get like.

[A]

Did you ask?

[B]

Like, I would get like the text to my phone saying that we had money due, and I would tell him like, hey, I just got this text. This needs to be paid. It would start fights.

[A]

Really, dude. So she. So you had a warning system, I. E. Her, and then you still didn't. That just ruined your entire argument. Dick.

[C]

She wouldn't tell me that the payments are not going through until it had failed to go through like six times.

[B]

I would tell him. I would tell you.

[C]

Yeah, after attempt like number six, where the minimum now was way higher.

[B]

You told me I would get the text messages, that we owed money. You would tell me. Don't look at it. Block the number. Leave it alone.

[C]

I never told you to block the number.

[B]

You would tell me to block the number. You didn't even want to know about it.

[C]

Of course I wanted to know about it.

[A]

Then what the happened? Why is. How can there be this big of a disagreement on how that happened? How's that even possible?

[B]

I think you just didn't Want to admit that you don't have the funds.

[A]

Also, I know a lot of you want me to bring up to him what was talked about when he was outside of the room. We're going to do that in the post show. I'm going to need a second to think about it.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And then there's an additional 362 from Progressive. Couldn't pay that. Oh, you're looking. What are you looking at her for?

[C]

Nothing.

[A]

Look. Did you see that look? Chad? Did you see that look? Did you guys see that look? That was a look of concern. You afraid? Should be.

[C]

Yeah, a little.

[A]

Yeah, you'll be rolling away.

[C]

Yeah, I'll find the nearest hill and just spin.

[B]

No, you'll find the nearest buffet.

[C]

Well, you guys do have a CC's here.

[A]

Yeah, we have CCs.

[C]

We don't.

[A]

$3,326. Oh, wait, no. There's an addition. Okay. All right. An extra collection. 562. This was LVNV funding. That might be the collector, but capital one.

[C]

Another credit card I had during college that I just.

[A]

So you couldn't literally do anything ever? Ever? What? How the.

[B]

You said that's another credit card. I thought you only had one in college.

[C]

No, I had three.

[B]

And when were you gonna tell me?

[A]

Oh, my gosh. How did she.

[C]

When were you gonna ask?

[A]

What? That's not how relationships work. I'm gonna let you know a little fun fact.

[C]

She knew of the amount accounts in collection and she knew the amounts, just didn't ask what specifically they were for.

[B]

You would yell at me every time I did.

[C]

Well, I would say, yeah. I mean, it's in collections. We just don't have the money to pay it right now. I'll pay it in a month or two.

[A]

I want to. I just want to assume that's how the conversation between Bill and Melinda went. When were you going to tell me? At an std? Well, when were you going to ask if I had an std?

[C]

What?

[A]

When are you going to ask? Buddy, that's not how things work. That's not how things work. Why would she ask if she thought it was one credit card? Why would she ask? Huh? By the way, any chance you have more collections from credit cards you had while you were in college?

[C]

That's not something someone asks again. I told her, I have this many things in collections and these are the balances. I didn't think it mattered what they were for as long as, hey, these are. I have this many things in collections and it's.

[A]

Well, she Discovered a lot of this last night, I'm being told, though.

[C]

So she discovered what it was for, but not the amount or that it existed.

[A]

Is that true, Britney? Because I don't trust him. I'll be honest.

[B]

I. I knew he was hiding things, but I didn't think it was this extreme. I didn't think it was to this level.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

I knew you. You knew of the accounts and you knew how much they were. You just didn't know what for specifically. Because we went over all this when we got the car.

[A]

Who's Amazon Chase card?

[B]

That's mine.

[A]

Okay, now I'm being told a lot of the cards he made you open. Is this one of them?

[B]

He did push me to open it.

[A]

What the.

[B]

You pushed me to open all of them.

[A]

What the.

[C]

Push. Not made.

[A]

Pushed. Yes, I'm saying what the. What the.

[C]

So again, I didn't make her open them, but she didn't have anything building credit whatsoever.

[A]

Yeah. And now this is her credit because they're maxed out. So you pushed her to do this? Dick.

[C]

That one specifically was. It was a rough year and we wanted to do a bigger Christmas. She had a job offer in hand for a start date, which was originally supposed to be sooner, but it got delayed because of state paperwork and bullshit. So she. It was. She was supposed to be starting at 19 an hour. So we figured, well, let's do this and we'll do a bigger Christmas.

[A]

Because we or you we or you?

[C]

I feel it was we.

[B]

No, I. I feel it was you.

[C]

Yeah, you're the one that. What?

[A]

Get her more credit card debt, Preventing her from leaving even more. Because how is she gonna make her minimum payments? Seems like an extra tool in your arsenal of fat. Because you're fat.

[C]

Really? Nah, I think I'm a size 4. Maybe XL, but 4.

[A]

I'm being told the balance is bigger. How much bigger? What do you mean the balance is bigger? How much bigger? There's only $100 more that could be put on here. What's the balance?

[C]

I don't know. What is the balance?

[A]

Pull it up. Do you know the balance or do you need to pull it up?

[B]

Not off the top of my head.

[A]

Pull it up.

[C]

It actually might be about the same because, yeah, we did charge to it, but I think a payment went through. I don't know.

[A]

Yeah, you're a 4XL.

[B]

The current balance is almost 1400.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

So it actually went down apparently for now.

[A]

Okay, that's good. Okay. Even still, that is still dramatically high. It's her credit and I'm sure that'll be replenished because you guys spend when there's money to spend. That's probably right after payment was made. And now we're gonna spend more money. So I'll put it at 1409. Pull up your Amazon. Who spends is. Do we have a shared Amazon account? Separate Amazon account accounts.

[C]

Separate Amazon accounts.

[A]

Pull up both your Amazon accounts. Do they both go to this card?

[C]

Yeah, more or less, of course.

[A]

So, yep, I need to see both. And you're supposed to spend 300 each on this card, bringing it to 600 when you opened it. It's more than double that. Even with the payment made, it's already screen recording. Okay. A dinosaur net necklace, I guess, making her like you for a second. Glue. Clear pen tips. Yeah, yeah. Amazon Basics Flexible fabric diet detector test strips and Barov Sedu. What? Just waterproofing something. Slim Jims. You're getting Slim Jims on Amazon, right? Oh, the first good thing he's ever done in his life. He got gamer subscribers. He got gamer subs. Listen, he got the pack of Good. That's Brandon's favorite flavor. I like the blowhole one. But even still. Gamer subs, remember? Get it. It's 40 cents a serving. Make your energy drinks at home. Use my link. Get the free samples. GamersUPs. GG. Type in code. Caleb. You can see what flavor is it like. And then just order it. Just like you got to make your coffee at home. You got to make your energy drinks at home, too. Save that money. First good thing you've ever done in your life. That and the engineering chip. It's just so much slippers, so many dinosaur things. Keyboard. You're getting her. What are you. What do you. Love bomb. And then trap her inside.

[C]

It's just, I figure if we can get something that either of us want, why not just do it?

[A]

Well, because you don't have money. Let's see yours. Listen, I'll let you guys use the fizz card at least. It's a debit card that builds credit. And I'll also get you a course career certification. Okay, lady? So that we can hopefully. Listen, if you want to get out of the funeral world. Because opening up a funeral home, I don't want that to be your future necessarily. This is the website.

[C]

She does not use apps for anything.

[A]

I need to look at your orders. You know how to get to your orders. So I'll get you a course career certification of your choice as well. A lot of people in the audience have used that, too, to Dramatically improve their income and career. Okay. Yeah. You're getting more of the glucose things as well. I don't know if that's a necklace more thing. Let's see. It's all. Look at all this. Sorry, Chad. We're putting it on screen. Wireless mouse and Funko pops. Wireless gaming controller. Come on. This is just all. Guys, there's literally. Other than the glucose thing, which I can understand, cuz I mean nothing. There was a necessity. Other than that it's all. It's all. It's all stupid. Yeah. Ebay. What are you getting from Etsy277?

[C]

That was a Christmas gift for her. It was a dinosaur replica skull.

[A]

You and dinosaurs. Big fan, huh?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Interesting. Ebay. 30 bucks and then a ton of Amazons platters, chocolates. Of course, when you guys go for chocolates, you get platters of it. Actual potential groceries at Sam's. But it's a man. Listen, it's 2025 now. We're getting 2025 statements at this point. So I can't see how much interest accrued last year. I can't see how many fees. So right now you're fresh. First statement starting at zero. But it's all about to start getting real quick. Oh, you took a 1000 hour trip to Chicago so you could see dinosaurs. Chicago to see dinosaurs?

[B]

We went to a field museum to see sue the T. Rex.

[A]

Sure. Whose capital? One.

[C]

Which one in particular?

[A]

Platinum Me. All right, Billiam. $266.45 with a $25 minimum payment. What the is going on here?

[C]

I took it out to try to help my credit with on time payments.

[A]

Okay? And that's what you forced her to open credit cards for. So why would you force her to do that if you can't even do it yourself? You spend immediately what you put on and then interest grows even more, making the balance go up. What are you talking about?

[C]

Yeah, but can't scores just be manipulated to the point where if I need my score better for something, I'll just pay the down a month before.

[A]

What's your score?

[C]

Oh, like a 5 11? Yeah.

[A]

You don't know what you're talking about. What the 5 11? Shut the. You're under 600. Oh, golf off. Well, how are you talking to me about credit scores?

[C]

Well, I. I need more on time payments to help my story.

[A]

Oh yeah, Maybe make them on time. Especially when she's telling you, hey, they're.

[C]

A little late and that's why I have more accounts is to try to make.

[A]

Oh yeah, it's gonna make you even better. Organizing things and making payments. Sometimes just have more payments.

[C]

Sense.

[A]

Up what happened. Well, my first attempt at building a budgeting app didn't go over very well. So I'll rewind. After hundreds of financial auto guests, one pattern stood out. People weren't failing because they try. They were being handed crappy tools that weren't built for real life. So I tried to see if I could fix it. In January last year, 2025, I launched an app driven by the belief that budgeting shouldn't feel complicated or intimidating. I had good intentions, but the first app was a complete dumpster fire. I was trusting the wrong developer. That partner cost us thousands and left my customers with the buggy app that only kind of worked. And that failure forced me to ask a question that I couldn't avoid. Do I walk away or do I try again? Ultimately, I chose. I chose to double down and commit to building a new app the right way. Myself and an incredible team. Every dollar that I made from YouTube went straight back into the product. No investors, no shortcuts. Just the belief that I could change lives with a better approach. So we rebuilt the app again and again. 38 different versions in total. I obsessed over every single detail that most people wouldn't ever know. And that's because if this app was going to go live, it had to work for real people with real lives. So everyone who stuck with me and my team shared their feedback and believed in what we're doing. Thank you. You helped shape what this has become. This is my vision for the future of budgeting. And I'm just getting started. $6.0 is finally launching on February 17th. Rewrite your your money story. Learn [e-mail] we're so back. Starbucks is and a waste of money. And you already know that by making your coffee at home and investing the rest. So now you need to do that with your energy drink as well. Make gamer subs at home for just 40 cents a serving. And honestly, it literally tastes better. And we proved this accidentally via a blind taste test in our Hammer Elite show. Fat and Fatter. The number one ranked energy drink is Game Sauce. Literally.

[C]

The cherry flavor is insane.

[A]

Listen, you can also get free samples to see if you like it. Or 10 off your order at gamersupps gg or click that link in the description below. Type in code Caleb DMV. That's fine. It just is already accruing this year. 30%. Who's affirming at a 16% interest rate, it's a micro dick balance. I'm assuming it's paid off now. Oh, shit. There's a lot more. Okay, okay. How much are we affirming? Who's affirming? What are we affirming?

[C]

So there's three affirms that are in collections and then there's another affirm that's.

[A]

Active ones in collections. No, I think this is just active. These are in collections. What is wrong with you? What the f are you talking about, dude? Oh, they are. What are you doing?

[C]

Why?

[A]

She's the problem. Well, come on.

[C]

No, no. By the time I found out about the payments not processing, I had to make a tuition payment for her college. So it was either make the tuition payment or have the shit go to collections.

[A]

Okay, and then an active one from Newegg who's getting a computer.

[C]

The Newegg one should also be in collections. That one should die. An Amazon one is active. That should be the only active one.

[A]

Well, I'll do affirm, asshole. I don't know what to put for minimum payments, but affirms are 2. How are they even letting you open that one?

[C]

Yeah, that is a very good question.

[A]

$2,107.47. I don't even know the minimum because most of them are in collections anyway. Okay. Death of friends and family and. What the. So, okay. To friends, $1,000. To family, $800. What is this for?

[C]

So I owe my sister a TH000 because I was arguing with. When we moved out of the.

[A]

Do you want to say sister?

[C]

Yeah, that one's fine.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

When we moved out of the Rochester apartment, there was so much bullshit going on with that apartment complex that I. Yeah, I'm sure.

[A]

Nothing to do with you.

[C]

I did withhold rent for a while.

[A]

Oh, yeah, did you?

[C]

Yes, we were. We had the heat stuck on max maximum for multiple months at a time. Their only attempt to fix it was replace the same zone valve four times. And after two months of that, I. Doesn't matter.

[A]

You still have to pay rent now.

[C]

It was unlivable.

[A]

It was over 100 degrees, your entire future for it.

[C]

And that's what I said is I will give you the rent when you make it livable.

[A]

But honestly, you're not going to make or break them. You're breaking yourself in the future. Listen, I agree you shouldn't have to pay rent them. They're pieces of shit. If that is true. But you're not harming them. You're only harming yourself.

[C]

When they made it livable, I gave them that money and then when we moved out.

[A]

So they didn't hurt your credit with them?

[C]

No. And then they're okay that. Well, there is more to the story. Well, they. When we moved out, we didn't take thorough pictures when we left. And they tried claiming. They claimed that, hey, it caused a bunch of this other damage. They claimed we left a ton of stuff by the dumpsters. I was in the middle of disputing it with the creditor or with the collections agency, but my sister was closing on a house at the time, and she was on the. She was a co signer at the beginning, and she needed it off because she was buying a house. So. So she paid it, and I owe her the money for that. I told her, like, I just don't. I'll pay you, but, like, ultimately, I would continue fighting this. But you need it off now. Just pay it. I'll pay you back.

[A]

Okay. Okay. So no minimums then?

[C]

Correct.

[A]

And then to family, there's 800 family.

[C]

Which one was the 800 friend.

[A]

This is to friend. Friend. 800.

[C]

That one was. So when we got the car. When we got the car, she had just started at the debt collection job, but hadn't received a check yet.

[A]

Yeah. Before you made her quit.

[C]

Yep. My. My car, the Explorer, broke down. That one was fully paid off, but we had no idea what the bill was gonna be, and we figured we were going to need two vehicles. So we went and got a car. And in that time or. Sorry, friend, my friend said, hey, I gave you this money to hold on to because my. I don't want my partner knowing I have that money. I gave you that money to hold on to in case use it for the down payment for the car and just pay me back when she gets her first check. Well, then when that happened, she said, hey, just hold on to the money still.

[A]

Okay, so no minimums on this as well.

[C]

Correct.

[A]

So you guys are just in debt to everyone. I mean, you owe some pay advance Dave, 100 bucks and you're banned from using Pay advance app now. Like Moneyline Dave and Bridget, like, what the. These. Are these in collections?

[C]

No, they're just still, like in the app. I.

[A]

So you owe a total of. To the pay advance 800 across three apps. What are you gonna do? See, listen, there's only one thing that have been heard so far. It was the Amazon card that you are spending on that you made her open. How the. Can you say she needs the budget?

[C]

How.

[A]

In your application and phone call last night. Is that what you were saying.

[C]

It'S she's like, until recently she like didn't work for much so she doesn't value.

[A]

The dollar with anything. You're the one that's.

[C]

Yeah, I ultimately, going forward if since she's going to have income as well, we need to be aligned on how to move forward. And yeah, the steps I've taken are, but we need to make sure to not do them going forward. And yes, a lot of that is me, but I know generally what I'm doing wrong. She doesn't.

[A]

And why don't you correct it? That's even worse. I'd rather be ignorant than intentionally doing.

[C]

The wrong thing because it's always been just kicking the can down the road of oh, things will get better when this happens. And then, well, another shit show happens along the way.

[A]

Who's the saver card?

[C]

We both have a saver.

[A]

Who's 40167?

[C]

Probably me.

[A]

Bill. Bill. Bill. Okay. 401.67 minimum payment. 25 bucks immediately spending way more on it than you spent towards it. Of course. There he is. There's the titties. Olive Garden. Just Pizza, Outback, McDonald's, Taco Bell, Popeyes, Panera Bread, McDonald's, McDonald's, John's Pizza Subs, McDonald's, Domino's, Ted's Hot dogs, Wegmans. Well, Wegmans is sometimes groceries, right?

[C]

Sometimes. Yeah.

[A]

I'm sure it probably wasn't in your case. Olive Garden, Domino's, KFC, Domino's, McDonald's, Olive Garden. It's all bullshit. Not one purchase on there. Not bullshit.

[C]

We didn't even eat the Popeyes.

[A]

What?

[C]

We got it and it was disgusting so we just didn't eat it. So we went out to eat some.

[A]

You never had a food that you didn't love?

[B]

Love.

[C]

I'm actually a very picky eater.

[A]

Are you sure about that? Yeah. You only get slop. Fast food.

[C]

Yes. I, I don't eat like a lot of red meat. I don't eat pork hardly. I'm just.

[A]

It's doing so well for you. Yeah, yeah, clearly only on the greens and chicken.

[C]

Chicken and pizza.

[B]

Yeah. He has to palate of like a 3 year old.

[A]

How many calories do you consume a day?

[C]

At my peak was probably 5200.

[A]

How about. What the. That's crazy. How about just now?

[C]

Well, no way.

[A]

It's not over at least 3,500.

[C]

Well now I've. Now I've been losing weight for a little.

[A]

Impossible. I just. Look, I have the food here.

[C]

I eat One meal a day.

[A]

Okay. Then it's a big binge.

[C]

Yes, it is.

[A]

It's a massive binge with more calories than anyone could consume in a day.

[C]

That binge is about 2,500 calories.

[A]

You are not just at 2500. You would be substantially losing weight at your size and height again.

[C]

I started the diet somewhat recently from.

[A]

Okay, well, November. Literally November. No, this was getting Olive Garden. Not anything lean and Healthy or McDonald's at the Middle of December. That was a few weeks ago. You. What are you talking about?

[C]

But if I. If I eat like, and I only.

[A]

Do that once a day on a daily basis, you're not going to gaslight me. I see this on a daily basis. You man tits. What are you talking about? I got mantis, too. That's why I can say it.

[C]

If I eat like shit once a day. No, it's still not worse.

[A]

Calories in calories out. There is no way you're doing calories in calories. You would be losing weight. I do not.

[C]

I am losing weight.

[A]

I do not believe you.

[C]

Since November to Now, I've lost 18 pounds.

[A]

Not with the 1500. How heavy are you?

[C]

I am currently 330, basically.

[A]

330? 18 pounds in a few months is actually a pathetic joke. That's water weight lost in two days. If you were actually dieting.

[C]

Yeah, from these earlier in the year, I lost another £30.

[B]

But you only lost that £30 when I was dying in the hospital.

[C]

I had lost it well before that. I had just helped keep it. When I would go home from the hospital, I would binge because I was scared. But, yeah, I would eat a lot when I got home.

[A]

I hope you're losing weight. I'm just struggling. I'm believing it. That sounds like you took a couple steps and your body was like, oh, this is the first time I've ever seen this.

[B]

This.

[A]

And he lost £18 in, like, three months. Discover card. Who is this?

[C]

Me.

[A]

Oh, Bill. Seems to all be you. And surprise, it's McDonald's and a firm. Oh, there's your minimum payment for a firm 24. 54. Good. We can put that from. To the earlier one. Okay, well, I don't know what you owe on this.

[C]

That one is currently, I believe, 660.

[A]

What's your minimum T payment?

[C]

I think 40.

[A]

Okay. Jeez. Okay, who's the quicksilver one?

[C]

You.

[B]

Me?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And Ms. Brittany. Did he push you to open this one? Yes, of course. Bill, what is wrong with you?

[C]

We were doing well at first with It.

[A]

Oh, shut the up. I'm not listening to this. $291.46 with a minimum monthly payment of $29. You spent more than you put put towards it. Of course. Inches of crude wine and spin. Yeah, let's find another way to kill ourselves, guys. That's smart. Maybe groceries may be. I don't know, Uber. Do they even allow that?

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Okay. Amazon Prime, PayPal, Funeral285. Aren't you supposed to be getting paid for funerals?

[B]

No, that was for one of the exams I had to take.

[C]

Ah.

[A]

Is that person dead or not? Yes. Passed. Taco Bell, Starbucks groceries or not? I don't know. Patreon. You. Who guaranteed it's not as good as hammer Elite on YouTube. Guaranteed.

[C]

It's a Reddit podcast.

[A]

Told you. Told you. I knew it. I knew it. You're the people that try to cancel me endlessly.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Platters, chocolate it and some. Or groceries. Hard to tell. Interest fees, Late fee already this year. What are we doing late fees on yours? This. This is a year card.

[B]

There were late fees on it.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I didn't know one.

[C]

I actually don't have your login for that. I don't have your username.

[B]

I didn't know there was a lay on it.

[C]

I don't. I. Again, I don't have the login for that, so.

[A]

Well, Brett, here's your saver card. Rick Denis that he made you open. $476.67 with a minimum monthly payment of 25. $476. Well, it was all spent on there. That's for full plate eatery. What is this Full plate. You always get full plate. Or it's a. What are we doing? No, not full plate. No. What was it with the chocolate? I don't remember. Ihop, Pizza Hut, Swiss chile cheese pizza. Yeah, we really are pizza obsessed. Mighty Tacos, Tully's and McDonald's. Don't you have diabetes?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Why the is this even an option? McDonald's? You're not even the salads. There are like a thousand trillion calories. Why are you getting McDonald's?

[B]

I can't cook. Neither of us can cook.

[A]

Okay. That's like a literal. It's impossible not to be able to cook. It's so it's. Can you cook something incredible? Maybe not, but. But cooking a burger as you make a patty. Which you probably shouldn't do just with the situation. Either of you. But even silly stove flip done. Not complicated. I'm not great at cooking either. I have the cookbook I worked with a professional chef on it. You guys will get the cookbook for free. The meal plan, all that good stuff and the, and the grocery list that is in the debt class, part of the master money program. But chicken salad sandwich, easy. That is not cooking. You don't even have to cook overnight oats. It ain't cooking. Not cooking's not an option. You're dying. You're literally dying. Remember when you almost died? That wasn't fun. Was that fun?

[B]

No.

[A]

Let's not do that again.

[B]

I still can't cook. We, we try. We try to cook. We make food and ends up terrible. So we just end up going to get takeout.

[A]

I mean even the pre prepared meals from the grocery stores that you warm up is cheaper and healthier. Just do that. Even they are not cheaper than going out to eat. Yes they are. I have done them. I do them. They are cheaper.

[C]

A 20 piece McNugget with two medium fries at McDonald's. It comes to 1611. At. the grocery store we go to, there is pre prepared chicken fillets. That does not include a side whatsoever. And Those alone are $16 before tax.

[A]

Don't get the filet chickens.

[C]

But I like chicken.

[A]

You get raw chicken. It's so easy to cook. It's a timer. Whether or not you can season it. There's like prepackaged seasonings, guys. A full thing of Tyson's things that you put in the oven is cheaper.

[B]

We can't.

[A]

Attendees can't cook it. It's already cooked. It's already cooked.

[B]

It turns out terrible. It never tastes fully done. It always just gets thrown out.

[A]

Oh man. I don't know. What is this? Elise?

[C]

At least something probably. That's probably the couch. That's probably Aaron's. Oh, I know that.

[A]

Cooked. Good luck. Your lease. Who's on the couch? Is it both of you?

[C]

Just me.

[A]

Oh, Bill, I don't want to see what the. Your seat looks like.

[C]

The payments on that are I think 50 every other week.

[A]

Resigning. So for a DD table. What's a DD table?

[C]

It's a drop down table. Like the middle seat of the couch.

[A]

Where do you eat McDonald's from?

[C]

Sometimes.

[A]

Yeah, it's 84.99amonth. With a balance it's like 2,000 bucks. It's so stupid. Insane interest rate.

[C]

The. The balance is not 2,000 anymore.

[A]

More.

[C]

It's like, like 300 max.

[A]

Well, I know that you're not going to be able to resell that. So you spent well. It's gonna be two you have spent 2,000 over the course of the payment on a 600 couch. Yeah, $2,000 on a 600 hour couch.

[C]

And that's why I want to rebuild my credit by taking other payments.

[A]

Yeah. Huh. Die. Okay, Is this another thing? Is this different? Is this a separate thing? Do we know.

[C]

It's probably just page two.

[A]

Okay. What is this? Lease. Okay, I think this is another. This is the same thing again. I think. Okay. Payment schedule. I think this is for car.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Wait, no. 91. No, this is. I think the same. Okay, that's the same thing again. Jeez. Okay. It's like a thousand pages for that one document. Okay, here's the car at a 15.36% interest rate.

[C]

We. We could have done a lot worse.

[A]

Yeah. There's always options for worse, Bill.

[C]

So this is one of our biggest arguments to date, is this car. I don't see the car as all that bad. I'm not a huge fan of the car in particular.

[A]

What is it?

[C]

It's a 2022 Kia Soul.

[A]

You fit.

[C]

It's her car.

[A]

It's worth $16,000 when you owe 19,097.

[C]

Yeah. So originally, when my car died, we needed another vehicle. And for that vehicle, we could have gotten something cheaper. Ultimately, this car was 17,000. But then dealership fees and we added the warranty, whatever. It came to about 22. And the monthly payment on it was about 438 when we got the. When we got a car.

[A]

Wait, this monthly is 438?

[C]

Yeah, that is the. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. That car. What? We. When the Explorer died, we wanted to get a car that I wanted to get a car that we wanted. I didn't want to just get whatever cheapest car that we could afford. I wanted to get a car that we wanted that was within budget. Originally, we looked at a 2011 Kia.

[A]

You missed three payments last year. I don't even care. You missed three payments last year. The interest rate's insane. The minimum fee payment's stupid.

[B]

You missed three payments.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[C]

Late. Late. Probably missed. No, not missed.

[A]

Fine, late. He was late.

[B]

You didn't tell me it was late.

[A]

You didn't tell her it was late.

[C]

It was not late enough to hit credit. It was just.

[B]

I don't give if it's late enough to hit credit or not. It shouldn't be late at all.

[C]

Yeah, it was it. I don't keep an eye on the bank accounts. The autopay failed and got returned.

[A]

Well, what the. How many Times until you learn your lesson. Dude, don't say now. I've learned my lesson.

[C]

Well, I have.

[A]

Yeah. I don't believe you. You. Dude, student loans from Ms. Brittany. $6,725.90.

[B]

Yeah, those are on autopay.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Minimums. Have they started yet?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

What's your minimum?

[B]

I believe 80.

[C]

80Amonth.

[B]

80Amonth?

[C]

I think it's 81 and some change. But 80.

[A]

I'll say 82 if it's 81 and some change. Dude, it keeps stuff. A settlement offer. What? 940amount O. They sent you 564 for a settlement one. What is this?

[C]

That was one of the medical medical ones. That. Which one?

[B]

I have no clue.

[C]

Was that one the taco?

[B]

No, that one was higher.

[A]

Did you almost die from a taco?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

How do you guys do all the fattest things anyone's ever done? How did you almost die from a taco?

[B]

I choked on a piece of the shell and piece of shell. It was like stuck in my throat.

[C]

You thought it was stuck in your throat?

[A]

Could you breathe?

[B]

Yes.

[C]

What we.

[A]

She had a panic attack probably.

[B]

Mm.

[C]

Then went to the emergency room for it.

[A]

Okay. Okay. Well that's 564. Okay. Start checking account with eight bucks. Joe's. Well, quick Mart, you went and got an energy drink or something snack. I mean you make your gamer subs home, so you better not be doing an energy drink. This checking account 198 Hulu Prime Video, Regal Cinemas. Regal Cinemas 365 Market. Yeah, it looks like though potential bullshit of groceries. You got I think Hammer Elite, which thank goodness because it is the best number one membership on YouTube for a reason. Amazon Prime Video cursor. AI what? Never even heard of that. Dollar Tree. Premium HBO, Amazon venue. Now ebay, King's Aisle, Crunch Base, Amazon Bath Body Works, Wegmans. This checking account 141. Do we not have retirement accounts? Nothing in there.

[C]

No.

[A]

Listen guys, there's obviously larger issues at a hole, but I will attempt to make a budget.

[C]

You did miss 125 in overdraft fees.

[A]

Okay, well, I'm not surprised. You guys are horrendous financially and then you're a horrendous individual and then you're not being able to cook is very weird. And being jealous of careers is also very odd when you chose it. Like trust me, we got issues across the board. But I know the one thing you want me to bring up and confront him on we will do in the post show that is coming very, very Soon. Income of the household. It's about to be 7700 if we're combined. I recommend being separate actually for her sake. Ever feel like your brain just won't click on it? Alpha Brain is a daily supplement engineered to support memory, focus and mental speed. Made with science backed ingredients, Onnit Alpha Brain helps you lock in, tune out distractions and stay sharp. See what your brain can really do. Visit onnit.com and shop Alpha Brain to unlock your next level. That's O n N I t dot com. But that is an off camera conversation. Minimum monthly payments. I mean it's chunky but Strong. Household income? 813.74. What's our total rent?

[C]

1125.

[A]

Okay. Utilities? Electric. Gas, Internet. All combined. Water. How much?

[C]

250.

[A]

Gas. Vroom vroom. Drive. Drive.

[C]

That one's going to be a lot higher. Because of how much?

[A]

Because of the heavy load.

[C]

Yeah, probably. Probably. 400.

[A]

Phone bill.

[C]

90.

[A]

Car insurance?

[C]

200.

[A]

700 for groceries. Usually I do 600 for people. But a little bigger. A little more complicated. Might have to do a little more pre prepared. 700 TP fund anything else to survive. We'll do 200 tampons. All the good haircuts too. You can get haircuts. It's okay. It's okay. You okay? I assume you're losing your hair already. Yeah. So you'll be fine. Let her get haircuts. Medical, health care, co pays.

[C]

Anything that one a lot like 500.

[A]

Okay. Jim?

[C]

No. Okay.

[A]

Can I put one in? Yeah, please go 50 bucks.

[B]

We might still be paying for one bucks there.

[A]

Do you have any pets? No Good subscriptions. I'll put 50 so you guys can share. Anything else I need to put in this budget that I have? Not.

[C]

No, I. I think that's it.

[B]

Maybe dinosaurs. Since you said that's part of the reason we're in debt. My dinosaurs.

[A]

Let's see if there's a dinosaur fund. Okay, listen. You got an extra 3321 left. So I'll give you 321.26 for fun. And you have an extra 3000 left. Okay. That helps you guys get to the finish line. Okay, so let's take a look at this. Debt collections obviously will pay off for the credit score purposes. But that will be last. I guess. There is additional medical debt that he didn't see. But like 6200. Okay. Either way our total debt position is 44,774. And I'd get on payment plan for those medical debts, 34 cents. But I will minus the student loans of $6,725.90. So 38, $48.44 with $3,000 a month, that's only a year. I mean you guys are fine, but that's, I don't think that's the bigger compensation, but you guys are fine. Then you can do a fully funded emergency fund. Catch up in your retirement. 50, 30, 20. That's all good.

[B]

Good.

[A]

That's obviously not the issue here and you know the issue and we're going to talk about that in the post show. Well, let's get the Hammer Financial score first. There's also an extra, there's also an extra debt that apparently you don't know about that Lindsay just learned about when you guys came into the office today. So I will let you know that is in the post show as well and then we'll have the big conversation as well. Let's get your Hammer Financial score though. Get [e-mail] spending in a budget. You overspend. 0 out of 10. Debt collection, 0. 10. Emergency fund, nothing. 0. 10. Retirement nothing. 0 out of 10. Real estate, nothing. 0 out of 10. Hammer financial score, 0 out of 10. Also, you also join us in the post show. It's, I mean, you know, this is about to be the most insane one pretty much ever. Click the join button. See you there. She said, it's gotten physical a couple times.

[B]

You literally said, I'm sorry for the times that this escalates.

[C]

Escalates does not mean physical. Escalates means, you know, a larger fight with you.

[B]

Sometimes it does. The one time you threatened to break my jaw.

[A]

I don't think that if you guys are in an argument there is still ever a time to put your hands on her.

[C]

I said, if you, if you hit me, I will hit you back and I guarantee you I will hit harder.

[A]

Hammer Elite is the best YouTube membership on the platform and I just upgraded it. New dedicated premium shows every single day, Monday through Friday. Join with the link in the pinned comment or description below. This is the best membership you'll ever join and that's a promise.