Financial Audit with Caleb Hammer

Episode: Girl Math Final Boss
Date: August 22, 2025

Overview

In this episode, host Caleb Hammer conducts a relentless financial deep dive and reality check with guest MacKenzie—a 26-year-old nail tech from Melbourne, Florida—who describes herself as a hustler with several side jobs applying “girl math” logic to her finances. The discussion traverses her attempts at entrepreneurship, operating a nail business, the realities of her side hustles, mounting debt, and her struggles with budgeting and personal responsibility. The episode stands out both for its humor and brutally honest advice, making it a must-listen for anyone tempted by shortcuts in small business and personal finance.

Guest Introduction and Background

• [01:13] MacKenzie, 26, from Melbourne, FL
• Works: Nail tech (main focus), burrito restaurant, DoorDash, pet sitting, plasma donation
• Describes juggling multiple jobs as “hustling” and using "girl math" to justify business investments

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Reality of Entrepreneurship and the “Girl Math” Mindset

• MacKenzie spent $6,000 (initially claimed $2,000-$4,000) starting her nail salon business, justifying it as an investment needed to make money.
• Caleb directly calls out the lack of planning:
  • “There’s no way...That’s an entire year's [worth of profit to pay back your startup costs]...You didn’t have a big supply of clientele...and you honestly weren't doing very well there. You were fired. So great. And you immediately decide, 'Yeah, let me get on this legal contract to split a lease with someone.’” [11:14]
• MacKenzie attempts to defend her approach by labeling it as "girl math":
  • "But you have to spend money to make money. In a business standpoint. I call it girl math." [00:45]
  • Caleb devastates this logic:
    "You're going to make everyone hate women...If girl math immediately—Do you think people don't already hate women?" [50:30]
• The term “girl math,” initially introduced humorously, becomes a running gag and warning of flawed justification for poor financial decisions.

2. Income Streams and Time Allocation

• Breakdown of monthly earnings after thorough grilling:
  • Nail business: ~$500/month (about $6/hour for 80 hours; Caleb: “Time to put the nails in the bag, girl.” [12:58])
  • Burrito restaurant: ~$1,000/month (best hourly rate—triple the nails gig)
  • DoorDash: ~$300-$400/month (after gas)
  • Pet sitting: ~$200/month (inconsistent, “most of my clients died” [22:05])
  • Plasma donation: ~$550/month
• Total: Roughly $2,550/month before taxes and expenses
• Caleb emphasizes multiple times that gig jobs are not scalable or sustainable, especially compared to a traditional full-time job.

3. Financial Catastrophe: Debt, Overspending, and Lack of Planning

• MacKenzie’s credit cards are maxed out:
  • Citi Double Cash ($4,174), IHG ($6,272), Capital One ($2,623 and another card), and Ulta ($491)
  • Family/personal loan: $7,500 (for an old car)
  • Total debt: About $17,000+, not counting potential family loans and bank consolidation loan
• Bleak commentary from Caleb:
  • “You spent four times what you brought in...how do you not know you spent $10,000 last month?!” [24:02]
  • “Your business hasn't started. Your business is a failure.” [31:07]
• Budgeting attempts are sporadic and ineffective:
  • "Once a month I’ll sit down and write down my expenses, either on paper…” [51:51]
  • Caleb: “And then? You just leave it? What does that actually achieve?” [52:12]
  • MacKenzie: “I don't have an actual plan. I have no clue what I'm doing.” [27:21]
• Emergency fund: vanished
• Retirement: cashed out 401(k) for a car
  • Caleb’s calculation: “That $7,189 would have turned into $212,403 at retirement if left in S&P 500.” [37:24]
  • MacKenzie's rationalization: "It wouldn't have done me any good that far down the line if I didn't have a car to sustain." [37:36]

4. Family Dynamics, Entitlement, and Self-Awareness

• MacKenzie receives subsidized housing from friends (“I’d literally be homeless if not for my friends. But I don’t really like living with them.” [29:49])
• Tensions with family about her chosen path—most urge her to get a traditional job, which she resists (e.g., truck driving, supply chain, hospitality)
• Caleb skewers perceived entitlement and lack of appreciation for her circumstances:
  • “Median one-bed rent in Mel, Florida is $1,310. Good the luck. And you hate them. You hate living with them.” [31:32]
• Evokes the importance of taking responsibility and strategic career decisions: stick with employment to develop skills and clientele, not impulse entrepreneurship.

5. Repeated Patterns: Justifying Expenses as “Write-Offs”

• MacKenzie claims nearly all spending is a write-off, prompting a signature tirade:
  • Caleb: “Also, everything's a write off. On what? You're not making money to pay taxes anyway...what's a write-off to you? What's a write-off if you write it down on paper?” [17:39]
• Attended expensive beauty expos (“business promotion” [52:35]), frequent traveling justified as business/family necessity, when clearly not feasible

6. Future Plans and Relocation

• Considering moving back to the St. Louis area (“to be closer to family,” though admits family won’t let her stay with them due to “family drama” [56:10])
• Talks about wanting to serve drag queen clientele—admits she knows only one in real life
  • Caleb: “How many drag queens do you personally know? ... Oh, ladies and gentlemen, it's a foot in the door. This is a thriving small business.” [28:24]
• Caleb provides practical alternatives, including skill certifications and “do the business as a side-hustle only until it’s proven”
• Warns bankruptcy will become the only option if she cannot change her ways

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On Business and “Girl Math”

• [00:45] MacKenzie: "But you have to spend money to make money. In a business standpoint. I call it girl math."
• [17:21] Caleb: "I call it girl math. I don’t know. Not my strong suit."
• [50:30] Caleb: “You're gonna make everyone hate women. You're gonna make everyone hate women if girl math immediately...”
• [51:09] MacKenzie: “I'm—I did the math and it was piss poor math. And that's fine. And I'm sure someone's going to turn around and say, oh, well, that's just the girl math for you.”

On Employment & Earning Reality

• [12:58] Caleb: "Time to put the nails in the bag, girl. We're going and working a real job next."
• [13:34] Caleb: "So to be clear, you make three times what you make in the nails for hourly... Why aren’t you picking more hours up at Burrito?"

Budgeting & Delusion

• [24:33] Caleb: “You spent four times what you brought in. What do you expect to happen with that? Where does that lead?”
• [27:21] MacKenzie: “I don’t have an actual plan. I... I have no clue what I’m doing. And obviously that’s very clear.”

Planning & Responsibility

• [37:24] Caleb: “That $7,189 would have turned into {over $200,000} by retirement...You're throwing away your entire future.”
• [51:06] Caleb: “Why bring to your entire gender this negative connotation that you're unable to manage money?”

Family and Roommates

• [29:16] MacKenzie: “My friends own the house. You're beyond lucky. You would not be able to do that if you were not being subsidized by your friends.”
• [29:49] MacKenzie: “I don't love the living situation. I love them as people. I don’t love the living situation.”

Important Segment Timestamps

• [00:36-01:15] – MacKenzie describes starting her business and “girl math” begins
• [04:12-05:24] – First tough love from Caleb: “Why is it always someone else’s fault?”
• [07:48-13:02] – Detailed breakdown of income streams; “You made $6.25 an hour.”
• [23:00] – Adding plasma donation to the list of “jobs” to try to survive
• [24:00-25:00] – Confronted with $10,000 monthly spending, MacKenzie admits to not knowing
• [27:21] – “I don’t have an actual plan. I, I have no clue what I’m doing.”
• [37:24-37:41] – Pulling from 401k for car; Caleb’s compounding math
• [51:26] – “I did the math and it was piss poor math. That’s just the girl math for you.”
• [52:35] – $800 for beauty expo as “business promotion”
• [64:26-66:02] – “This industry in that area sucks and you shouldn’t be doing it.” How to get out?
• [87:12-88:23] – Budget can't be balanced; considering bankruptcy
• [88:23-89:27] – Personal loan for consolidating credit cards ends up maxed out anyway

Tone, Language, and Final Assessment

The episode is a masterclass in tough love, balancing humor and real talk. Caleb’s language is unfiltered, direct, and frequently laced with sarcasm, but rooted in a desire to wake his guest up from destructive patterns.

Financial Score:
Given her drained emergency fund, maxed-out debts, 401k cash out, subsidized housing, unsustainable business, and lack of planning, Caleb ultimately rates MacKenzie at a rounded up "0.5 out of 10." ([87:06-88:23])

Conclusion

This episode is a crash course in what not to do when starting a business or attempting to hustle your way out of financial trouble. MacKenzie’s story is equal parts cautionary tale and tragicomic, exemplifying the perils of poor planning, magical thinking, and endless rationalization (“girl math”). Caleb Hammer doesn’t pull punches, and listeners walk away with a clear, if sometimes painful understanding: passion is not a substitute for a plan, and denial is not budgeting.

For listeners:

• If you recognize yourself in any of these habits, it’s time for a budgeting app, a real plan, and—above all—personal responsibility.
• Skip the “girl math.” Do the real math.