Financial Audit Podcast: "He Assaulted Me" | Summary

Host: Caleb Hammer
Guest: Oliver (26, from Omaha, Nebraska)
Date: December 17, 2025

Episode Overview

This episode of Financial Audit dives deep into the chaotic financial (and personal) life of Oliver, a 26-year-old payroll worker from Omaha, Nebraska. Oliver’s story is an explosive mix of financial mismanagement, compulsive spending (primarily on "Wicked" musical merchandise), repeated scam victimhood, heavy credit card debt, and reliance on friends and family for financial bailouts. Throughout the candid and banter-filled episode, Caleb Hammer does not pull any punches, oscillating between blunt criticism, exasperated humor, and efforts at financial intervention.

Key Topics & Discussion Points

1. Oliver’s Background and Introduction

• Gay Culture, Humor, and Musical Obsession

  • Oliver introduces himself with self-deprecating humor and immediate references to his queerness and love of Wicked musicals (01:50–02:31).
  • Playful banter with Caleb immediately establishes a lighthearted but unapologetically raw tone.
  • Eg: “I only brought [the Galinda wand] because this was not a good purchase…” —Oliver (02:18)

• Life in Omaha, Nebraska

  • Jokes about perceived lack of acceptance, local gay bars, and myths about the Midwest (02:24–02:55)

2. Income & Job Situation

• Salary Details:

  • Payroll processing at a tech company, making $19.50/hr, ~$1,700 gross per paycheck, $1,200 net (03:39–04:14).
  • Caleb probes the realities of living on $2,400/month (net) in Omaha.

• Recent Employment Issues:

  • Job-hopping, difficulty securing work, heavy reliance on family and friends during unemployment, and inability to build an emergency fund (28:02–30:11).

3. Victim of Scams

• Multiple High-Profile Scams:
  • Sugar Daddy Grindr Scam:
    • Oliver narrates how he was targeted on Grindr with phony check deposits, resulting in his bank account going negative by $5,000 (07:53–11:39).
    • “You’re an idiot for that. That’s not even getting scammed...Digital checks?” —Caleb (11:39)
  • Instagram Investment Scam:
    • “Invest $500, get $5,000 back” quick flip scam; Oliver loses $500–$800 through a suspiciously named website (gainesfx.com) (14:38–17:13).
  • DoorDash Identity Scam:
    • Social engineering phone call POSING as DoorDash, convincing Oliver to almost transfer his cash out (18:27–20:13).
    • “There’s not much I can do to say don’t go to gain fx.com and give them unlimited money...” —Caleb (18:16)

4. Spending Habits & Debt

• “Miscellaneous Bullshit”

  • Oliver spends ~25% of his income monthly on “miscellaneous,” with major purchases on Wicked merchandise, frequent eating out, concerts, and impulse buys (12:22–13:44, 42:54–44:09).
  • “Wicked Journal. Wicked blanket. Wicked cat toys. Wicked Insanity.” —Caleb (43:35)

• Credit Card Debt:

  • Regular late payments, high balances (multiple cards between $3,000–$5,000), some in consolidation.
  • Debt totals flagged by Oliver as $30k but is closer to $40k+ (25:52–26:03).

• Admission of Financial Avoidance:

  • Avoids tracking debt or budgeting, spends based on emotional gratification (26:03–26:15, 41:18).
  • "Because I try not to think about it." —Oliver (26:03)

5. Heavy Reliance on Others

• Family and Friends as Lifelines:
  • Sister shares rent, parents paid $1,200–$2,000 in recent bailouts, best friend (the lesbian) got Oliver his last job (28:03–31:07, 73:41–74:00, 79:51).
• Lack of Personal Responsibility:
  • Resists budgeting, mocks the idea of taxes, regularly shifts blame ("I'm gay" as an excuse) (32:12–32:19, 53:06–53:33).

6. Fun and Contentious Moments

• The “Assault” Incident

  • In a running gag, Oliver touches Caleb’s leg under the table (33:04), leading to a faux HR complaint segment with the lesbian friend and Hammer Media's head of people (33:34–35:53).
  • “If I was one of those over sensationalized freaks on the internet, I would claim you just raped me.” —Caleb (33:11)
  • Humorous reflection on double standards in cancel culture (80:34–81:06).

• Sexual Banter and Distraction

  • Frequent interruptions by Oliver’s flirtation and joking deflection, making it difficult for the host to steer the conversation (48:06–48:31).

7. Caleb's Hard Truths & Interventions

• Brutally Honest Assessment:

  • “Everything’s wrong. The income’s wrong, the spending’s wrong, the scams are wrong, the debt is wrong, your behavior’s wrong.” —Caleb (25:18)
  • Expresses disgust at Oliver's lack of remorse about parental handouts and compulsive spending while bills go unpaid (47:18–48:12).

• Budget and Fixes Proposal (Select Timestamps)

  • Caleb tries to build a “tight” budget using Oliver’s real numbers, including only the absolute essentials, and demands Oliver get a second job while searching for a career (84:21–91:12)
  • “You’re going to go make more money right now with a second job... while you're looking for a more full time career position, that’s what you’re doing.” —Caleb (91:12)

• Call for Behavioral Change:

  • Caleb repeatedly insists all plans are pointless unless Oliver fundamentally changes his attitude toward money and adulthood (90:59–91:12).

8. Financial Snapshot & Scathing Final Judgement

• Net Monthly Income: ~$2,400
• Debt Minimums: $1,400+ (not including all collection debts)
• Monthly Expenses After Minimums: Oliver is $453.83 in the red before even considering food, medical, or other needs.
• Savings: $97
• Retirement: $223
• Hammer Financial Score: 0.5/10
  • “A sad excuse of a human. Okay, your income is $2,400...get these debt minimum depayments if you’re actually an adult.” —Caleb (83:16–83:56)

Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On Scam Victimhood:

  • “You’re an idiot for that. That’s not even getting scammed...Digital checks?” —Caleb (11:39)
  • “There’s not much I can do to say don’t go to gain fx.com and give them unlimited money...” —Caleb (18:16)

• On Spending Patterns:

  • “Thousands on Wicked alone. That is insane.” —Caleb (43:11)
  • “I hold it and I feel like Glinda. And I feel like a good witch, you know?” —Oliver (44:18)

• On Oliver’s Excuses:

  • “I'm gay.” —Oliver (32:12, invoked frequently)
  • “No, you can't fall back on that for everything. You can't.” —Co-host (75:32)

• On Family Support:

  • “Listen, manipulated. They enabled. What a wonderful relationship we have here.” —Caleb (29:10)
  • “I really don't deserve anybody that's helped me agree because I'm just...horrible. You're a moocher.” —Oliver/Caleb (79:51–79:54)

• On Caleb’s Final Assessment:

  • “You’re a horrible excuse. Horrible excuse for a human.” —Caleb (48:06)
  • “Hammer Financial Score: 0.5 out of 10.” —Caleb (91:57)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 01:50 – 02:31 | Oliver introduces himself and his “Galinda Wand”
• 07:53 – 11:39 | Grindr Sugar Daddy Scam
• 14:38 – 17:13 | Instagram Investment Scam
• 18:27 – 20:13 | DoorDash Scam Incident
• 25:18 | Caleb’s rapid-fire list of “Everything’s wrong”
• 33:04 – 35:53 | “Assault” gag and HR complaint with new guest
• 42:54 – 44:09 | Unpacking Oliver’s “Wicked” spending
• 47:18 – 48:12 | Caleb’s disgust at Oliver’s lack of remorse/awareness
• 84:21 – 91:12 | Budget build, plans for extra jobs, and reset
• 91:57 | Hammer Financial Score: 0.5/10

Conclusion

This episode is one of the most candid, contentious, and darkly hilarious yet, highlighting the very real intersections of emotional distress, LGBTQ+ identity, and financial self-sabotage. Caleb's merciless but insightful critique is counterposed by Oliver’s over-the-top deflection and relatable vulnerability. The main theme is a “shut the up” call for hard behavioral change—budgeting, hustling for additional income, and (most importantly) radical self-accountability.

For anyone ever tempted to see finances as a game or “construct”…this episode is a vicious reality check.

For more, join Hammer Elite for the extended post-show with Oliver and his long-suffering lesbian friend.

Notable Takeaway: If you want brutal honesty—and maybe a little tough love—about your financial habits, this episode is a must-listen!