He Assaulted Me | Financial Audit

Summary

Financial Audit Podcast: "He Assaulted Me" | Summary

Host: Caleb Hammer
Guest: Oliver (26, from Omaha, Nebraska)
Date: December 17, 2025

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Episode Overview

This episode of Financial Audit dives deep into the chaotic financial (and personal) life of Oliver, a 26-year-old payroll worker from Omaha, Nebraska. Oliver’s story is an explosive mix of financial mismanagement, compulsive spending (primarily on "Wicked" musical merchandise), repeated scam victimhood, heavy credit card debt, and reliance on friends and family for financial bailouts. Throughout the candid and banter-filled episode, Caleb Hammer does not pull any punches, oscillating between blunt criticism, exasperated humor, and efforts at financial intervention.

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Key Topics & Discussion Points

1. Oliver’s Background and Introduction

• Gay Culture, Humor, and Musical Obsession

  • Oliver introduces himself with self-deprecating humor and immediate references to his queerness and love of Wicked musicals (01:50–02:31).
  • Playful banter with Caleb immediately establishes a lighthearted but unapologetically raw tone.
  • Eg: “I only brought [the Galinda wand] because this was not a good purchase…” —Oliver (02:18)

• Life in Omaha, Nebraska

  • Jokes about perceived lack of acceptance, local gay bars, and myths about the Midwest (02:24–02:55)

2. Income & Job Situation

• Salary Details:

  • Payroll processing at a tech company, making $19.50/hr, ~$1,700 gross per paycheck, $1,200 net (03:39–04:14).
  • Caleb probes the realities of living on $2,400/month (net) in Omaha.

• Recent Employment Issues:

  • Job-hopping, difficulty securing work, heavy reliance on family and friends during unemployment, and inability to build an emergency fund (28:02–30:11).

3. Victim of Scams

• Multiple High-Profile Scams:
  • Sugar Daddy Grindr Scam:
    • Oliver narrates how he was targeted on Grindr with phony check deposits, resulting in his bank account going negative by $5,000 (07:53–11:39).
    • “You’re an idiot for that. That’s not even getting scammed...Digital checks?” —Caleb (11:39)
  • Instagram Investment Scam:
    • “Invest $500, get $5,000 back” quick flip scam; Oliver loses $500–$800 through a suspiciously named website (gainesfx.com) (14:38–17:13).
  • DoorDash Identity Scam:
    • Social engineering phone call POSING as DoorDash, convincing Oliver to almost transfer his cash out (18:27–20:13).
    • “There’s not much I can do to say don’t go to gain fx.com and give them unlimited money...” —Caleb (18:16)

4. Spending Habits & Debt

• “Miscellaneous Bullshit”

  • Oliver spends ~25% of his income monthly on “miscellaneous,” with major purchases on Wicked merchandise, frequent eating out, concerts, and impulse buys (12:22–13:44, 42:54–44:09).
  • “Wicked Journal. Wicked blanket. Wicked cat toys. Wicked Insanity.” —Caleb (43:35)

• Credit Card Debt:

  • Regular late payments, high balances (multiple cards between $3,000–$5,000), some in consolidation.
  • Debt totals flagged by Oliver as $30k but is closer to $40k+ (25:52–26:03).

• Admission of Financial Avoidance:

  • Avoids tracking debt or budgeting, spends based on emotional gratification (26:03–26:15, 41:18).
  • "Because I try not to think about it." —Oliver (26:03)

5. Heavy Reliance on Others

• Family and Friends as Lifelines:
  • Sister shares rent, parents paid $1,200–$2,000 in recent bailouts, best friend (the lesbian) got Oliver his last job (28:03–31:07, 73:41–74:00, 79:51).
• Lack of Personal Responsibility:
  • Resists budgeting, mocks the idea of taxes, regularly shifts blame ("I'm gay" as an excuse) (32:12–32:19, 53:06–53:33).

6. Fun and Contentious Moments

• The “Assault” Incident

  • In a running gag, Oliver touches Caleb’s leg under the table (33:04), leading to a faux HR complaint segment with the lesbian friend and Hammer Media's head of people (33:34–35:53).
  • “If I was one of those over sensationalized freaks on the internet, I would claim you just raped me.” —Caleb (33:11)
  • Humorous reflection on double standards in cancel culture (80:34–81:06).

• Sexual Banter and Distraction

  • Frequent interruptions by Oliver’s flirtation and joking deflection, making it difficult for the host to steer the conversation (48:06–48:31).

7. Caleb's Hard Truths & Interventions

• Brutally Honest Assessment:

  • “Everything’s wrong. The income’s wrong, the spending’s wrong, the scams are wrong, the debt is wrong, your behavior’s wrong.” —Caleb (25:18)
  • Expresses disgust at Oliver's lack of remorse about parental handouts and compulsive spending while bills go unpaid (47:18–48:12).

• Budget and Fixes Proposal (Select Timestamps)

  • Caleb tries to build a “tight” budget using Oliver’s real numbers, including only the absolute essentials, and demands Oliver get a second job while searching for a career (84:21–91:12)
  • “You’re going to go make more money right now with a second job... while you're looking for a more full time career position, that’s what you’re doing.” —Caleb (91:12)

• Call for Behavioral Change:

  • Caleb repeatedly insists all plans are pointless unless Oliver fundamentally changes his attitude toward money and adulthood (90:59–91:12).

8. Financial Snapshot & Scathing Final Judgement

• Net Monthly Income: ~$2,400
• Debt Minimums: $1,400+ (not including all collection debts)
• Monthly Expenses After Minimums: Oliver is $453.83 in the red before even considering food, medical, or other needs.
• Savings: $97
• Retirement: $223
• Hammer Financial Score: 0.5/10
  • “A sad excuse of a human. Okay, your income is $2,400...get these debt minimum depayments if you’re actually an adult.” —Caleb (83:16–83:56)

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On Scam Victimhood:

  • “You’re an idiot for that. That’s not even getting scammed...Digital checks?” —Caleb (11:39)
  • “There’s not much I can do to say don’t go to gain fx.com and give them unlimited money...” —Caleb (18:16)

• On Spending Patterns:

  • “Thousands on Wicked alone. That is insane.” —Caleb (43:11)
  • “I hold it and I feel like Glinda. And I feel like a good witch, you know?” —Oliver (44:18)

• On Oliver’s Excuses:

  • “I'm gay.” —Oliver (32:12, invoked frequently)
  • “No, you can't fall back on that for everything. You can't.” —Co-host (75:32)

• On Family Support:

  • “Listen, manipulated. They enabled. What a wonderful relationship we have here.” —Caleb (29:10)
  • “I really don't deserve anybody that's helped me agree because I'm just...horrible. You're a moocher.” —Oliver/Caleb (79:51–79:54)

• On Caleb’s Final Assessment:

  • “You’re a horrible excuse. Horrible excuse for a human.” —Caleb (48:06)
  • “Hammer Financial Score: 0.5 out of 10.” —Caleb (91:57)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 01:50 – 02:31 | Oliver introduces himself and his “Galinda Wand”
• 07:53 – 11:39 | Grindr Sugar Daddy Scam
• 14:38 – 17:13 | Instagram Investment Scam
• 18:27 – 20:13 | DoorDash Scam Incident
• 25:18 | Caleb’s rapid-fire list of “Everything’s wrong”
• 33:04 – 35:53 | “Assault” gag and HR complaint with new guest
• 42:54 – 44:09 | Unpacking Oliver’s “Wicked” spending
• 47:18 – 48:12 | Caleb’s disgust at Oliver’s lack of remorse/awareness
• 84:21 – 91:12 | Budget build, plans for extra jobs, and reset
• 91:57 | Hammer Financial Score: 0.5/10

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Conclusion

This episode is one of the most candid, contentious, and darkly hilarious yet, highlighting the very real intersections of emotional distress, LGBTQ+ identity, and financial self-sabotage. Caleb's merciless but insightful critique is counterposed by Oliver’s over-the-top deflection and relatable vulnerability. The main theme is a “shut the up” call for hard behavioral change—budgeting, hustling for additional income, and (most importantly) radical self-accountability.

For anyone ever tempted to see finances as a game or “construct”…this episode is a vicious reality check.

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For more, join Hammer Elite for the extended post-show with Oliver and his long-suffering lesbian friend.

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Notable Takeaway: If you want brutal honesty—and maybe a little tough love—about your financial habits, this episode is a must-listen!

Transcript

[Narrator/Advertiser]

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[Oliver]

So good, so good, so good. Score.

[Nordstrom Rack Promoter]

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[Caleb Hammer]

Cause there's always something new.

[Lesbian Friend]

I'm giving all the gifts this year.

[Oliver]

With that extra 5% off when I.

[Caleb Hammer]

Use my Nordstrom credit card.

[Nordstrom Rack Promoter]

Santa who Join the Nordy Club at Nordstrom Rack to unlock our best deals. It's easy. Big gifts, big perks. That's why you wreck.

[Caleb Hammer]

To watch episodes of Financial Audit a week earlier. Check us out on YouTube.

[Oliver]

I need your help, Daddy.

[Caleb Hammer]

What is wrong with you?

[Oliver]

I'm gay.

[Caleb Hammer]

You think you're fun. You think you're silly. You think you're cute. Shut the up.

[Oliver]

Daddy, chill.

[Co-host/Commentator]

What the hell is even that?

[Caleb Hammer]

Colt had told me you've been spending a ton on Wicked Merch.

[Oliver]

Guilty as charged.

[Caleb Hammer]

The income's wrong, the spending's wrong. The scams are wrong. The debt is wrong. Your behavior's wrong.

[Oliver]

I don't know, Caleb. I told you, I don't. Look at that.

[Caleb Hammer]

You're a horrible excuse for a man.

[Oliver]

It's hot when you you say that to me.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Off with that bullshit.

[Oliver]

All right, all right.

[Caleb Hammer]

Get your free trial to the dollar wise budgeting app today. Join the tens of thousands of active users who are taking control of their money and changing their lives. With new features being added constantly, there's no reason not to try it. And if you like it, choose the.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Annual version to save a ton of money.

[Caleb Hammer]

And get my budget Friendly cookbook signed by me and mailed directly to you. Dollarwise app or link in the description below.

[Oliver]

Hey, I'm Oliver. I'm 26 from Omaha, Nebraska, and this is Financial Audit.

[Caleb Hammer]

You got the Galinda Wand?

[Oliver]

I have the Galinda Wand, yes, the bubble wands.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. I'm excited for Wicked Part 2 to come out.

[Oliver]

You are? You're a Wicked fan?

[Caleb Hammer]

I like musicals.

[Oliver]

Good.

[Caleb Hammer]

It's gayer than bottoming, but I like musicals.

[Oliver]

Well, I don't know if anything's gayer than bottoming. Caleb.

[Caleb Hammer]

Liking Musicals. And I fully embrace it and support it and love it.

[Oliver]

I only brought this because this was not a good purchase and.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, so you wanted to demonstrate.

[Oliver]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Your misbehavior.

[Oliver]

Yes.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, thanks for coming on from Omaha. I'm sure Omaha, Nebraska doesn't like your kind.

[Oliver]

What do you mean my kind? The gays? The Latinos?

[Caleb Hammer]

No, the gays. Latinos don't like them either. But thanks for coming down to Austin. Austin loves the gays.

[Oliver]

There is a gay bar. They're surrounding good gay bars down there.

[Caleb Hammer]

Down where?

[Oliver]

Omaha.

[Caleb Hammer]

Omaha's below Austin.

[Oliver]

It's not. I meant up there.

[Caleb Hammer]

But you're just always thinking of bottoming, maybe always wanting to be on the bottom. Well, what's going through your mind?

[Oliver]

24 hours when I'm across a handsome man like you.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, let's. I don't have time to jack off.

[Oliver]

I hear you call it something else now.

[Caleb Hammer]

What are you doing?

[Oliver]

Is that what it is?

[Caleb Hammer]

What do you do in Omaha for a living?

[Oliver]

I work in payroll for a company that does like technology. Like a tech company for businesses. So we're like a self service company?

[Caleb Hammer]

Yes, Oliver, payroll. Very good.

[Oliver]

Yes.

[Caleb Hammer]

And what do you make in payroll? It's a new pay Yourself. You process your own pay. What do you make? You should know more than anyone in the history of the show how much Oliver makes. Well, that's.

[Oliver]

Yeah. Okay, Well, I make 1950 now an hour, so it's like 40.

[Caleb Hammer]

I don't. I don't even. Honestly, Omaha, Nebraska, I know it exists. I can't even. Can I point to Nebraska? I'm usually actually pretty damn good at maps. I don't think I could point to Omaha, Nebraska. I certainly don't know.

[Oliver]

Do you know we're not doing a.

[Caleb Hammer]

Test, but I'm just like the cost of living there. Honestly, I really do try to lock in different regions, understand the cost of living so I can have those conversations better. Better. I cannot think of Omaha, Nebraska. How does 19.

[Oliver]

Did you say 1950?

[Caleb Hammer]

How does 1950 stretch there? Are you getting 40 hours a week?

[Oliver]

Yes.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, what does that hit? Per paycheck.

[Oliver]

And what's that per paycheck? It's about like 17,000 gross. And then I get like 1200,000 gross. I mean 1700, not 17,000 per paycheck.

[Caleb Hammer]

Every other week, I'm assuming.

[Oliver]

Yes, sir. By week.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, gross. What's net?

[Oliver]

1200. So there's like $500 of taxes getting taken out.

[Caleb Hammer]

And I appreciate your flirting, even if it's not my preferred thing. What do you mean I'm not into men?

[Co-host/Commentator]

Sure about that? You sure about that?

[Caleb Hammer]

You sure? But also, I think you came with your boyfriend. I saw him earlier.

[Oliver]

That is my lesbian friend, and she's a huge fan, so she's gonna be really mad that you think she's a. Well, I don't know if she's.

[Caleb Hammer]

I will apologize afterwards.

[Oliver]

She. Wow. Oh, boy.

[Caleb Hammer]

Caleb, I just didn't want you to do any unintentional.

[Oliver]

No, I'm single, ready to mingle. Came down to Austin. You're here. Brandon's here. Colton's over there.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. Colton's actually gay. Well, you know, we love that for Colton.

[Oliver]

Colton. I have been vibing, so. Yeah, we've been.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, we love it.

[Oliver]

We've been. We've been.

[Caleb Hammer]

Colton literally just got engaged. Not married, engaged.

[Oliver]

Well, congratulations, Colton.

[Caleb Hammer]

So you got to stop trying to take. First of all, I'm taken. Colton's taken. I'm also not gay. Colton is very gay. And Brandon. Brandon already has aids, so, like, I just. I want you to be very careful where you're stepping around here because.

[Oliver]

Okay, I appreciate that.

[Caleb Hammer]

And unfortunately, there's a fourth man in this room right now named Wes who.

[Oliver]

He's a kid.

[Caleb Hammer]

Got really left out of the fourth.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Actually.

[Oliver]

My friend knew him and said hello to him when he was setting up, and he. No, my friend who you thought was a guy.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, the les.

[Oliver]

Yes, the Les. She, like, saw Wes, like, getting set up in here, and she was like, oh, my God, that's Wesley. And he was like, oh, my God. I've only been in, like, six years.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, my gosh. Okay, so 2,400. How does that stretch in Omaha, Nebraska? I'm sure not as stretched as your hole, but how. How. How are you doing?

[Oliver]

Um, well, I'm struggling, and that's just like me. So it.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why are you struggling?

[Oliver]

Because I can't say no, and I can't To.

[Caleb Hammer]

What?

[Oliver]

To.

[Caleb Hammer]

To. To.

[Oliver]

To. Like, anybody. Like, I've been scammed. I've been scammed, Oliver. Several times, Caleb. Like.

[Caleb Hammer]

And I think it's going in a different direction than you're kind of. Again, that sound like scam victim?

[Oliver]

Well, yeah, but I don't want to come out here and be like, I'm the victim.

[Caleb Hammer]

Scam.

[Oliver]

Which one? There's several.

[Caleb Hammer]

Go down the thing. If that's why you're here, what is your.

[Oliver]

Okay, these are the reasons why I'm here, because first one. This is, like. First one's a sugar daddy scam off the app. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Were you the daddy or.

[Oliver]

No, I'm the baby. Look at me, I'm the baby.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, you never lost the baby fat, but.

[Oliver]

Some guys like it.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Absolutely. Dude, I'm thick as a trunk.

[Caleb Hammer]

People are all about it. Yeah, okay.

[Oliver]

Yeah, you are.

[Caleb Hammer]

All right.

[Oliver]

So the sugar daddy One happened, like, two, three years ago.

[Caleb Hammer]

How did you meet Mr. Daddy?

[Oliver]

Off the app.

[Caleb Hammer]

There's a sugar daddy app?

[Oliver]

No, Grindr.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Oh, Grindr.

[Caleb Hammer]

We love the Grindr stock. So nothing but to the moon on that, because gays just can't stop. And, you know, I love that. And that, you know, makes me. That makes me regret that I never went, you know, full gay, full bi. Cause the selection. The selection off of apps like that listed in Bumble and Hinge, it's quite easy. Instagram is a good play. But I don't think anything will beat Grindr. And unfortunately, we just don't get that. If you want to see what happens in the straight dating world, look at Match Group. Look at Bumble. All those stocks are in the tank. Look at Dicks and Butthole Grinder. That stock is going to the moon.

[Oliver]

Yeah, because men are horny.

[Caleb Hammer]

Exactly. So if there was a straight Grinder, that would be the best performing stock in the history of the world.

[Oliver]

Caleb, there's plenty of straight guys on Grindr as well, too. Plenty of DL.

[Caleb Hammer]

But you fell for a scam on Grindr.

[Oliver]

I. I did.

[Caleb Hammer]

Via Grindr or via someone else was on there?

[Oliver]

No, like, it was a Grindr account. And. Okay, the only reason I fell for it was because I had just gotten back from Las Vegas.

[Caleb Hammer]

I'm confused how. Because you went to Vegas, you fell for a Grinder scam when you landed.

[Oliver]

In Omaha, I got back in town.

[Caleb Hammer]

And I had, like, with the five other gays.

[Oliver]

I actually went with a friend who I'm no longer friends with anymore, which we'll get.

[Caleb Hammer]

I know a few things about Grindr, and I don't know.

[Oliver]

What do you know about Grindr?

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, I know it shows distance.

[Oliver]

Yeah, it does.

[Caleb Hammer]

How many people are within five miles?

[Oliver]

It doesn't always show distance. So you can, like, toggle if it shows it or not. So this account didn't have the distance on it.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, and that's not a red flag.

[Oliver]

It was a red flag.

[Caleb Hammer]

I see a red flag that you fell for a scam.

[Oliver]

Yes, I saw the red flags, and I said, let's still go through it, because I wanted it to be real, you know, like, what was the scam?

[Caleb Hammer]

Tell me. Okay, what did you fall for? That you.

[Oliver]

This is so embarrassing by the way.

[Caleb Hammer]

I would suggest it's more your behavior than falling for scams. But I'm gonna go down. I'm gonna allow you to go down this rabbit hole so I can learn you a bit more. But keep going.

[Oliver]

So he, this like account messaged me, right? And he's just. They're all fake and they just always like message someone. They're like, hey, I'm looking for like a baby. Like a sugar baby. Like all you have to do is like.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, I was gonna say. Cause the other. Yeah, you can't make a baby.

[Oliver]

No. So they're like, just message me whenever, like just keep me company. Like I'm just a hard working man or whatever and like I just need like company. And then he was like, I'll pay you, like, I'll give you this like money to deposit into your checking account.

[Caleb Hammer]

For what? To keep in then.

[Oliver]

Like for money.

[Caleb Hammer]

This person?

[Oliver]

Yeah, he sent me pictures, but they were like.

[Caleb Hammer]

Was he just trying to her?

[Oliver]

No, like he was kind of prostitution.

[Caleb Hammer]

Ish. A little.

[Oliver]

I mean a little.

[Caleb Hammer]

I'm okay with if people are consensually doing it, but honestly, he probably just wanted to breathe.

[Oliver]

He wasn't real. Like, like he probably was like someone in like, like New York or like Israel or some shit. And he.

[Caleb Hammer]

So he didn't even want the bussy?

[Oliver]

No, he didn't.

[Caleb Hammer]

Just wanted to.

[Oliver]

I just wanted the money. Right? Like I just wanted the money from him. That's it. And he just was like, just message me whenever and then I'll send you this money and you just deposit it and go about your day. And that's what I did. And then I. He like, he emailed me these checks. Okay. From a company that was not okay. That was not like the company that he told me he worked for, like did or whatever. Right.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, I don't really know about email checks. I've never been emailed.

[Oliver]

He emailed me a PDF of a check. Like that's just what he did.

[Caleb Hammer]

Are you.

[Oliver]

Yeah, yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Who's ever been emailed a check?

[Oliver]

Me.

[Caleb Hammer]

And how many checks were you emailed from this?

[Oliver]

It's like two or three and I, I deposited them and then my bank account, my bank, my bank was like, hey, these are fraudulent. And it like bounced back. So then my bank account went like negative, like $5,000.

[Caleb Hammer]

You redeemed? Never redeem.

[Oliver]

I. Yeah, I redeemed it. Which I should not have done, obviously.

[Caleb Hammer]

How much was it?

[Oliver]

Like five grand. So then like my entire checking Account. I know, dude.

[Caleb Hammer]

You're an idiot for that. That's not even getting scammed. I am an boomer. Yes, you technically got scammed, but you almost deserved it for being that dumb. Digital checks?

[Oliver]

Yeah.

[Co-host/Commentator]

What is wrong with you?

[Oliver]

I wanted the money, Caleb. I was like, I didn't have any other money.

[Caleb Hammer]

Like, obviously. But listen, if this person lived in Omaha, that's where it's like, digital checks. That's a little weird. Hey.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Huh? How about maybe drop off a check?

[Caleb Hammer]

Or how about you Venmo me? Or here's my cash app, here's my zelle. Literally anything that exists in our civilized civilization.

[Oliver]

Yeah, I just didn't think it through.

[Caleb Hammer]

At all.

[Oliver]

Because I wanted it to be real. I was like.

[Caleb Hammer]

I know.

[Oliver]

Like, I'm like, all these other.

[Caleb Hammer]

But you said there's other scams. What are these other scams you're falling for? Which, by the way, your miscellaneous Bullshit is approximately 25% of your income that was spent last month. So you. It's not just getting scammed. You're destroying your entire life.

[Co-host/Commentator]

But I will allow you to continue.

[Caleb Hammer]

To go down the hole of ridiculousness. What's your other scam?

[Oliver]

Other scam is an Instagram scam.

[Caleb Hammer]

It's all DMS online.

[Oliver]

It kind of is.

[Caleb Hammer]

You're falling for DMs. You trying to slide in the DMs.

[Oliver]

You trying to slide. I'm a desperate gay.

[Caleb Hammer]

I guess. Like, desperate because you're not giving any.

[Oliver]

Yeah, not as much as I want.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Well, it is.

[Oliver]

Anyway. That's not the point. The point is.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, no.

[Co-host/Commentator]

There is a.

[Caleb Hammer]

There. There is a reality that if. If you are on again. I have a little Grinder knowledge. I like to do my research. You know, I'm an educated individual.

[Oliver]

We need to explore this a little more. I need to know, like, what your experience is here with men. Have a good Christmas.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yes.

[Oliver]

Do you like movies? Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Have you been with a man? Yeah. No. What?

[Narrator/Advertiser]

No.

[Oliver]

You talk like you've been on Grindr before.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, I just find things very funny. But once I go through. And not the lore. We know the lore. If you're black on Grindr, you get blocked immediately. I'm getting a head nod from Colton, and it's usually no blacks, no fatties. You qualify in the fatty. So that's why you're not getting laid on Grindr. It's like, this is Grindr lore.

[Oliver]

It's probably for the better, honestly.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, yes, it probably is. You definitely.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Come on.

[Caleb Hammer]

You don't need to be taking raw dick 24 hours a day.

[Oliver]

But it's fun. But you're right.

[Caleb Hammer]

No blacks, no fatties. I'm not supporting this. I am not boosting that up. But that is kind of. What is that app is known for?

[Oliver]

Yeah, it's very.

[Caleb Hammer]

The gays not like non abbed. And the gays do.

[Oliver]

Yeah, I don't.

[Caleb Hammer]

You know. And the gays do not like, not white. Well, I'm on their hookups. You're white passing.

[Oliver]

I am white passing, but I am Latino, but still.

[Caleb Hammer]

So I'm sorry for that. But that's why you're falling for these scams anyway.

[Oliver]

This.

[Caleb Hammer]

That's why you're falling for these scams. You get a dm, you get excited, you're like, oh, I can feel my.

[Oliver]

Asshole buzzing pretty much.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay.

[Oliver]

This like bodybuilder workout guy messaged me and like literally right. Like he had a girlfriend or something probably and was just like asking if I wanted to make money really quick, really fast.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why would. When you read that and you're not a. How would you read that and think.

[Oliver]

That might be the dumb, idiotic gay that I'm like, oh my God, this.

[Caleb Hammer]

Dumb idiotic gay man message me wanting to me. Gay men tend to be some of the better off people in this country financially. So this is. Yes, exactly. So. Oh, the dumb gay me. No, you can't fall back on that. You. You're not a lesbian. The gay men are doing very well.

[Oliver]

They are. And I.

[Caleb Hammer]

So I wish good luck falling back on that stereotype.

[Oliver]

I.

[Caleb Hammer]

So what? They promised a lot of money quickly.

[Co-host/Commentator]

For what?

[Caleb Hammer]

For why?

[Oliver]

How much? Like, it's like one of those like investing things. Like you invest like 500 and you get like five grand out in like a day or two. Yes.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, I've never even heard of this. You can't just say one of those investing things. I've never heard of this. What? What is this one of those investing things?

[Oliver]

Like a trading.

[Caleb Hammer]

Is this an Omaha type thing? What trading thing?

[Co-host/Commentator]

What are you talking about?

[Oliver]

Trading online, like trading platform or something? I have no idea. I know, I know.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Because how do you put the money.

[Caleb Hammer]

In without even selecting the trade that you're getting? That return on investment Sounds like a quick day trade, but what the.

[Oliver]

I honestly don't remember how I sent him the money now that I'm thinking about it, because it was like a website that I had to like sign up for and like make an account and then I probably just like wired money over from my checking account into it.

[Caleb Hammer]

You don't even know the site. You don't remember the site.

[Oliver]

It's like, okay. Another red flag that I just like walked right past by is like, you're.

[Caleb Hammer]

Too desperate for that dick.

[Oliver]

I really am. I. I am. The website was like giant effects, but it was like misspelled. It was like gaines FX or some shit like that. Guys, I know, I know you. I know.

[Caleb Hammer]

Wrong with you. Again. Again.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Listen, if you were robbed outside of your house, I'd be like, yeah, that sucks.

[Caleb Hammer]

You fell for the two dumbest possible things ever. I almost can't feel sympathy.

[Oliver]

I know, I do feel a little.

[Co-host/Commentator]

But the two, it's.

[Caleb Hammer]

It's smaller than normal. There's a typical scam. There is not a boomer who got scammed about, like, what, their kids. I voicing, I need bail money or something.

[Oliver]

I feel like I am like a boomer who's like on Facebook and see something and is like, oh my God, that's so true. Like, how much?

[Caleb Hammer]

And you lost 500.

[Oliver]

So yeah, I probably put in about like 500$800. And then it like apparently like went to like 16 grand. Right. And then I tried to like withdraw that money because I want 16 grand.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Uh huh.

[Oliver]

And it didn't. They just wouldn't let me withdraw for some reason. There was something where I had to pay more. Right. I don't know. It was a scam. So just I lost all that money and I tried to get it back. I tried to fight these people and email them back and forth and they just would not give me my money. So then I just.

[Caleb Hammer]

From gainsfx.com. they didn't want to give you their money back? Your money?

[Oliver]

Correct.

[Caleb Hammer]

That's interesting.

[Oliver]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Is there more?

[Oliver]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay.

[Hammer Elite Promoter]

Okay.

[Oliver]

Well, actually this one's not that bad.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay.

[Oliver]

This is not that bad because I didn't lose any money out of it. But I did like go past a lot of red flags again, which is.

[Caleb Hammer]

Making me really concerned. Because if we make a budget and we address the spending and you get on it, but you fall for a scam, you ruin the entire thing.

[Oliver]

Exactly.

[Caleb Hammer]

This is very concerning.

[Oliver]

So.

[Caleb Hammer]

And again, this isn't you guys scammed at a victim. This is your falling for scams.

[Oliver]

That's why I need your help, dude. To not fall for scams.

[Caleb Hammer]

There's not much I can. No, no, no, no. There is not much I can do to say don't go to gain fx.com and give them unlimited money or a faceless, distantless profile asking you to redeem.

[Oliver]

Something and so I'm just door dashing one evening and I get this order. And as soon as I get this order, I get a call from doordash. Like, it says door dash on the thing and it's some guy and he's like, hey, this order that you just got, like, he knew the order. He knew the name. He was like, this order was like, accidentally placed. So we're gonna have you cancel the order and then we're gonna, like, reimburse you for, like, your lost time or, like, wasted time. And I was like, okay. And he, like, he had, like, my phone number and, like, my email, so he, like, made me verify that. So that's why I was kinda like, this guy sounds like he's from doordash. It says doordash. He verified my information. But then on how he was gonna, like, reimburse me was the other thing is he was like. He, like, had my bank account information or he was like, asking me for it. And of course, me being the. I was. I was confirming everything and telling him what was in there. And so then he asked me to move all my money from my bank account to, like, my Apple cash card. And then.

[Caleb Hammer]

Dude, what the. You are just insane.

[Oliver]

I am. And then he gave me like a.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, pause. Okay, pause.

[Oliver]

I'm sorry, I just burped.

[Caleb Hammer]

Can we bring in the lesbian real quick?

[Oliver]

You want to bring her in already?

[Caleb Hammer]

Pause. Come on in. Hello. Oh, you're a woman here. Can you lean in real quick? Genuine question. Is your friend a.

[Oliver]

Immediate thinking is.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yes, exactly. That's what I thought. Thank you for your service. We'll see you in the post show.

[Oliver]

So she's a very reliable person.

[Caleb Hammer]

We'll see you in the post show. Thank you. And good luck on vaginas.

[Oliver]

So we have confirmation that I am.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yes.

[Oliver]

I am not the brightest bulb in the batch.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yes.

[Oliver]

So, okay, so he asked me to move all my money from my checking account to, like, my Apple Cash app.

[Caleb Hammer]

I don't need the rest. I get it. You fall for scams.

[Oliver]

Are you sure you don't want the rest?

[Caleb Hammer]

No, I don't. I want the. I get it. You're into scams, you get into scams. And that is a deep concern.

[Oliver]

I need your help, daddy. You know, please. I see you help all these other people.

[Caleb Hammer]

You know, it's interesting.

[Oliver]

Some of them.

[Caleb Hammer]

What's weird is we have a little triangle. We have a little triangle here.

[Oliver]

Oh, triangle. What?

[Caleb Hammer]

To a certain extent. Well, you find me attractive.

[Oliver]

I do.

[Caleb Hammer]

I'm not into that. And that's okay. But. But I. I almost, for a second, kind of found her attractive. Think a little. Just on the edgy side. On the edgy side? I'm my friend, but she's not into me. No.

[Oliver]

And so you thought she was a.

[Caleb Hammer]

Boy from a far distance away. Once I saw her in person, I was like, oh, that's a woman.

[Oliver]

She used to have really, really long hair.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, that's okay.

[Oliver]

And then she.

[Caleb Hammer]

We're not defending it. I'm just saying we have an interesting triangle.

[Oliver]

She's gonna like that you found her attractive.

[Caleb Hammer]

I'll tell her myself. I don't give a. Okay, okay.

[Oliver]

She might go straight for you. Stop. So, like, in 23. I went to Las Vegas in September to see Drake perform.

[Caleb Hammer]

Years ago. Okay.

[Oliver]

That was a while back.

[Caleb Hammer]

And I was.

[Oliver]

I went with a friend of mine.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why is that important?

[Oliver]

Why is what important?

[Caleb Hammer]

Why is that important to this conversation?

[Oliver]

Because I went on this trip with this friend who I'm no longer friends with, which I'll get to as well.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, well, I don't know if I care, but. Okay, you will. Does it involve your money?

[Oliver]

Yeah, kind of. Anyway, I went on this trip with her to Las Vegas, where I had to go see Drake.

[Caleb Hammer]

Is that where all this shit started? Is that what you're trying to say?

[Oliver]

Pretty much.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay.

[Oliver]

Cause I told you, I spent my entire paycheck there in Las Vegas.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Oh, that's why.

[Caleb Hammer]

Two years ago.

[Oliver]

Yeah. And that sparked the sugar daddy thing, which put me $5,000 in debt.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, so you didn't have money, so you looked for the Insta. Now it makes sense. You didn't have money cause you spent all month's income.

[Oliver]

I think the Instagram one was before I went to Las Vegas. And then I went to Las Vegas.

[Caleb Hammer]

You've always been to Las Vegas.

[Oliver]

Yes, I always been stupid. And then this guy's like, I'll give you money. Just like, message me. And I'm like, okay, let's talk about student loans.

[Caleb Hammer]

I know it's something we all avoid talking about, but if your private student loans are crushing you, why refi might be exactly what you need. They don't rely on your credit score alone. They look for borrowers who have the desire and the ability to repay. That is a game changer in a market where most lenders only see a number of interest rates under 6% guaranteed. That's practically a unicorn in student lending. Plus, they offer structured payment plans to lower your monthly bill and even a co signer release program.

[Co-host/Commentator]

So your mom and dad can step off the hook.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why Refi is known for their personal service. No faceless call centers. You get a dedicated rep who actually cares about your progress. They've got a 4.6 star rating on Google which tells you people genuinely like working with them. So if your private student loans are burying you, it is time to reach out. Why Refi wants to help you climb.

[Oliver]

So you're about to make a trade based on a friend's text but which you do you listen to is it we could buy a house in Tulum.

[Lesbian Friend]

Get optioning those options.

[Oliver]

We could lose everything.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Or let's do a little research.

[Caleb Hammer]

Get your head in the trade and.

[Oliver]

Make the investment decision that's right for you. Learn [e-mail] TradeSmart Mode of debt not.

[Caleb Hammer]

Push you further into it. Check them out at yrefi.com hammer that is yrefy.com hammer or call 889-733-978 that is 88973-3978. Break free from the high interest trap and get your finances under control once and for all.

[Co-host/Commentator]

That's kind of stupid, I'll be honest. But what's not is actually getting a.

[Caleb Hammer]

Checking account that gives you free money.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Free money. We like free money. You can get up to $350 in.

[Caleb Hammer]

Bonus cash right now when you sign.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Up for the checking account that I use, Chime also, it makes your savings.

[Caleb Hammer]

Grow at a 3.5 APY interest rate. Guys, you can watch financial audit and get free money at the same time. Who would have thought? That's incredible. Check it out. Link in the description below.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Sign up for chime. Get that $350 right now in your checking account.

[Caleb Hammer]

Scam or not scammed. The debt you have is obviously horrendous. But even without it, I don't know if 2400 is something that we can live with in Omaha, Nebraska. Sure, as a whole. But Omaha on the border of Nebraska and Iowa. I don't know if I don't know how livable long term that is. I mean we're talking a year, right? 28,000.

[Oliver]

This is a new job as well too. Like I just started this in like.

[Caleb Hammer]

September and I think that becomes the issue. No, I mean get everything else under control and you can't make. You can't make a life on that.

[Oliver]

Okay.

[Caleb Hammer]

Everything's wrong. Everything's computer. The income's wrong, the spending's wrong, the scams are wrong, the debt is wrong, your behavior's wrong.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Everything's wrong.

[Caleb Hammer]

There's not one thing looking up. Yeah, it's a fix across the board. That's required.

[Co-host/Commentator]

That's why.

[Caleb Hammer]

But there is no point of changing one thing if nothing else changes around it. If you change the spending without changing the income, you're. If you change the income without changing the spending, you're. If you change both of those without changing. Getting scammed, you're falling into scams. Not even getting scammed. Falling into scams. By being very clear, how much debt do you have? What's your debt number?

[Oliver]

Let's say like 30,000.

[Caleb Hammer]

Let's say. You wouldn't know, by the way. About 40,000. So off by a fourth. That's horrendous. What a percentage to be off. Why are you. How do you not know how much debt you have? That's unacceptable.

[Oliver]

Because I try not to think about it.

[Caleb Hammer]

Try not to think about it.

[Oliver]

Why you're coming on the show stresses me out.

[Caleb Hammer]

Would it not stress you out to have it continue to go up instead of actually tackling it?

[Oliver]

I mean, it does, but, like, it's a delay.

[Caleb Hammer]

Stress. Yeah.

[Oliver]

I'm more like the instant gratification. Which is why I bought the wand, because I like, really?

[Caleb Hammer]

How much was the wand?

[Oliver]

$20.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. Is okay. What are we talking about? I mean, $20. No, that's not great. But miscellaneous. Bullshit. You spent 700. So it's, you know, last month. So off.

[Oliver]

I mean.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, this doesn't make sense, dude. And I mean, Colton's saying that you just hate the idea of budgeting and you hate the idea of taxes, too. Not that you're. You would. You're not even paying any taxes. You're one of the people. You're literally in the bottom 50 of earners in this country. Okay, that's fine. That's not paying taxes, buddy. Listen, if you're paying any taxes, it's consumerism. Taxes, your income taxes, after everything. And then the standard deductions and everything. It's going to be pennies. It's going to be pennies on the dollar you contribute to. Less your group. And it's not dogging against you. You're in the bottom 50% of earners. You contribute less than 1% in income taxes in this country. That's fine. And that's fine. I'm not even bitching and moaning about it. But it's like, how are you complaining about taxes? You make $30,000 a year. You're the one being subsidized in almost every way whatsoever. More so if you had kids. But you know don't get that for bottoming.

[Oliver]

No, thank God.

[Caleb Hammer]

So what are you complaining about? Taxes. What are you talking about?

[Oliver]

I don't like paying them.

[Co-host/Commentator]

But you barely do anything.

[Caleb Hammer]

I'm sure there's sales tax in Nebraska. Maybe there's a slight income tax, but even with. We don't even have a value added tax in this country on a federal level. What are you complaining about? How can you bitch and moan but not be willing to look to see what your numbers are to accurately bitch and moan about? Because how can you even pay rent on this? If we're being honest?

[Oliver]

It's a little tricky.

[Caleb Hammer]

What's your living situation?

[Oliver]

So I live with my sister.

[Caleb Hammer]

We moved in with your sister.

[Oliver]

Yes, we moved in. We moved in together last year. So she said she's older than I.

[Caleb Hammer]

Am and if I was her, I'd be nervous that you can't pay rent.

[Oliver]

She's a little nervous.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Yeah.

[Oliver]

No, I did okay when I wasn't employed. Yes, like that makes sense. And I had help from.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, that's why you have an emergency fund for emergencies. But you've never had that because you spend money on Galindo ones.

[Oliver]

Yes. So I was. My parents were very kind, which I was.

[Caleb Hammer]

Kind in which way? The unkind kind like enablement or kind like they told you to go?

[Oliver]

Well, you'll probably think enablement because they gave me money and I think when paid them back, like how much? Like this summer.

[Co-host/Commentator]

This summer?

[Oliver]

Well, yeah. I didn't have my job for one. I was waiting.

[Co-host/Commentator]

How much?

[Oliver]

I was waiting for the high pitch to come out. Probably like 1200, I would say.

[Caleb Hammer]

One time or overall, just one time. Oh, dude. So how'd that conversation go down?

[Oliver]

I literally broke down to them.

[Caleb Hammer]

Great.

[Oliver]

Like, so manipulated. And you.

[Caleb Hammer]

Manipulated. They enabled what a wonderful relationship we have here.

[Oliver]

Listen.

[Caleb Hammer]

Open ears. Open ears continue to exist.

[Oliver]

I know. I'm just like any. When I think about saying this, it's just gonna sound like, you know, a victim thing, which I understand. So, yeah, I quit my job and I was applying for a bunch of other jobs that I was very qualified for, and they just like, were not getting back to me. So the job market was like, very hard, especially in Omaha. So I just broke down to them because, like, my dad has worked at a company in omaha for like 30 years.

[Caleb Hammer]

Then why stay in Omaha? Take a lesbian with you. Go somewhere with opportunity. Omaha is not a place that's at least nationally known for opportunity. Maybe state wide. But you have the ability to move anywhere and do anything that's what's really awesome.

[Oliver]

I don't think I can though.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why?

[Oliver]

Because I can't afford it.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, but sometimes even like it's not like I want you to go into a shit. First of all, you can do things on the cheap. Even when I moved here to Austin from Michigan, I sold almost everything, packed up my sedan, came down here, barely spent a dime. Okay. And slept on an air mattress for nine months while I was grinding to pay off debt. You can do things on the cheap. You don't need to go full booze wherever you go. And yes, places are more expensive. They have more opportunities as 100% true. Live on the outskirts, live in a small thing, split a studio with the Les. And then you know, you sacrifice temporarily and even if you have to go in a little bit of debt as a good return on investment to have wide more plethora of opportunities to make way more money and pay off your debt, it's kind of worth it. By the way, you told Colton $2,000 for mom and dad. So you're kind of. I don't know if you don't remember or you're lying.

[Oliver]

Yes, more don't remember. I guess.

[Caleb Hammer]

So you can go anywhere. That's it. Just the cost. That's what makes you nervous.

[Oliver]

Well that and like drop like dropping into a new city not knowing anybody and like sounds fun. It doesn't.

[Caleb Hammer]

It doesn't know. Take the less with you. She wants to stay in Omaha.

[Oliver]

She has some family stuff going on as well too. That's like keeping her there right now.

[Caleb Hammer]

So forced to keep or.

[Oliver]

Well, her parents are like pretty sick right now, so she's like the caretaker.

[Caleb Hammer]

For maybe after that.

[Oliver]

I don't know. It's this whole thing. I know. I mean I just never thought about moving to another city I guess. Really?

[Caleb Hammer]

You've never thought about opportunity elsewhere?

[Oliver]

No kidding.

[Caleb Hammer]

Usually that's what the gays are usually born with. Leaving their small midwestern town.

[Oliver]

I'm a funny gay because like I'm gay in some ways and in other ways I'm like not gay at all.

[Caleb Hammer]

But you are. I can't think of one thing that's not gay about you. Wicked musicals. Glinda Bottoming fat femme grinder. Daddy daddy sugar daddy scam. You're very gay. Very gay.

[Oliver]

Why thank you.

[Caleb Hammer]

Hypergay. Even though you broke up with your last ex for being too femme. Which is odd but so okay.

[Oliver]

My past exes are.

[Caleb Hammer]

Gays are also the most homophobe too. It's really weird.

[Oliver]

It really Is.

[Caleb Hammer]

And like you gays are creatures.

[Oliver]

Okay, My last ex was like a new. Like, I'd never date anybody like that, like that femme. I. I like manly men like you and Brandon.

[Caleb Hammer]

Like, like hardly even describe myself as like an ultra. Like.

[Oliver]

Well, you don't look gay, right? Like if I just see you, like, you don't like look gay right off the bat.

[Caleb Hammer]

Is that an insult or a compliment? Well, even.

[Oliver]

No, whatever you want it to be, I guess. Like, I don't.

[Caleb Hammer]

I just look like a dude. I don't know.

[Oliver]

You look like a dude. You're down 20, but you're a thick, tall, dark, handsome man. How am I supposed to compare with Pearl's old boyfriend, Mr. Long?

[Caleb Hammer]

Tan and handsome? All five, nine. Average American, seven.

[Oliver]

Dude, you're taller. It kind of does. But then you get to be a little spoon all the time, so that's nice. And.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, little.

[Oliver]

You gotta like, you know, like. Oh, just a little.

[Caleb Hammer]

He just literally rubbed my leg. That's never happened. And that was assault from. That was.

[Oliver]

All right, all right. If we.

[Caleb Hammer]

If I was one of those over sensationalized freaks on the Internet, I would claim you just raped me.

[Oliver]

Did you like it?

[Co-host/Commentator]

No.

[Caleb Hammer]

Which is why I literally pulled my legs away. I was actually relaxing and stretched out.

[Oliver]

Stretched out.

[Caleb Hammer]

Excuse me, can I. Can I.

[Oliver]

Yeah, you can.

[Caleb Hammer]

Can I call in hr, please? You're a naughty, naughty boy.

[Oliver]

I'm very naughty.

[Caleb Hammer]

Welcome Valeria, everyone. She's in the post show set with Oliver's other crush, Brandon. But Valeria, our head of people here at Hammer Media, am I able to make an HR complaint against the guests? Because I don't know, the dude has just caressed my legs under the table without asking permission or. And I've very clearly expressed no interest.

[Oliver]

I don't know if it's that clear.

[Caleb Hammer]

Uh huh. I guess consent is flexible in the gay community.

[Oliver]

It's a. Great.

[Lesbian Friend]

And make a complaint. Yes, because it's anybody that we work.

[Caleb Hammer]

With, or they technically work well.

[Lesbian Friend]

Well, he's. He's in here on work premises. You know, if you know, it's as broad as contractors. Just anybody that we, you know, come.

[Caleb Hammer]

He's not a contractor though.

[Lesbian Friend]

I know, I know. But anybody that you know, we have some sort of relationship with that's coming into the office.

[Caleb Hammer]

Can I sue him for hundreds of thousands of dollars?

[Lesbian Friend]

Can you sue him for.

[Oliver]

No.

[Caleb Hammer]

What can I do?

[Lesbian Friend]

What can you do? You can lodge a complaint. And let's say if this continues. If this continues. If we wanted to do some sort of Follow up. If he continues making you uncomfortable, we could ban him from the office.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Oh, that's it?

[Caleb Hammer]

There's no upside? This is why we needed to be in New York. I could have sued him.

[Lesbian Friend]

Is there an upside? I guess if he came in again and continued to do this and maybe if there was stalking outside the office involved.

[Caleb Hammer]

He seems to know a lot about me, by the way.

[Lesbian Friend]

Not to give him idea.

[Caleb Hammer]

He seems to know a lot about me.

[Oliver]

I watched the show.

[Caleb Hammer]

I don't know the things I said.

[Lesbian Friend]

I don't know if. If he turns up at your house. Just take notes.

[Oliver]

I know what car you drive.

[Caleb Hammer]

She's welcome to my house.

[Oliver]

I'm not.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, no.

[Oliver]

You can drop her off, my lesbian friend.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, so a complaint. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Lesbian Friend]

I think that's.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, lodge of complaints. Very good. Okay, thank you.

[Lesbian Friend]

Course of action here.

[Caleb Hammer]

Whr in chat. You never thought you'd hear that.

[Oliver]

Woo. HR.

[Caleb Hammer]

All right, let's jump into these finances because again, I'm skeptical of actually making a change. I'm. Because they're just going to fall for another bottoming scam. I don't even know. But what do you think your financial score is? 0 to 10. 0 being the worst and being the best.

[Oliver]

I have taken the quiz caleb hammer.com we love that. 1.3. Okay, I say that proudly with my chest.

[Caleb Hammer]

I know you're proud. Listen, take that quiz caleb.com seriously. In the world of finances, where you're doing poorly, where you're doing great, what you need to do to fix your situation, get to a better place.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Just takes a few minutes and it.

[Caleb Hammer]

Is free@caleb paper.com and if you don't want to be like a guest who ends up on the show, make sure you download the dollar wise budgeting app. It's incredible. Tens of thousands of subscribers for a reason. With new features being added every single month to change your finances. Take control. Finally, Dollarwise app.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Take the free trial, see if you like it.

[Caleb Hammer]

And if you do, sign up for the annual version to save a lot of money. And when you do, I will personally sign my budget friendly cookbook and mail it directly to your door as a reward that only exists for another month or two. By the time this comes out, then it's gone forever.

[Oliver]

Yeah. Where's the cookbook?

[Caleb Hammer]

So here it is. And it's right to you. All righty. What am I seeing? I see a Discover card, but not like a normal statement, just like the activity list. I mean, I see a late fee out of the gate, but I Don't even see the balance on here, Dick.

[Co-host/Commentator]

What's the balance, Dick? Why don't you set a statement, like we request?

[Oliver]

Probably like 5,000. It's on your phone.

[Caleb Hammer]

You.

[Oliver]

I no longer have access to it on my phone.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why?

[Oliver]

Huh?

[Caleb Hammer]

Why? You got scammed again. What happened?

[Oliver]

Maybe.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, what happened?

[Oliver]

I, like, overdraw it. Like, I'm like, I'm Mac.

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[Oliver]

So.

[Caleb Hammer]

But you can still log in to make a payment.

[Oliver]

I can't.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yes, you can. There's no way. It's impossible. What are you talking about? Is it in collections where you're not paying on it?

[Oliver]

Maybe I was not paying on it because I didn't want to or because I couldn't. Mostly because I could.

[Caleb Hammer]

So you think the balance most.

[Oliver]

Okay, this car.

[Caleb Hammer]

I think the balance is.

[Oliver]

It's like 5,000.

[Caleb Hammer]

5,000. What's the minimum monthly payment? Oh, God, probably I see a late fee here. Probably an interest, charging like crazy.

[Oliver]

Probably like 300, 400. Now, at this point.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, I know you're backed up, but what is the normal minimum payment on it when we put it in your budget? I know you have to play catch up on it.

[Oliver]

The normal one was like, 150 as a minimum payment. This was like, the first card, like, the first credit card I ever got to, like, build my credit. But then I also bought merchandise with it, which I know you're very happy about.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why? Because the intention.

[Oliver]

Momentary gratification over the, like, you know.

[Caleb Hammer]

That racked all the way up to the five.

[Oliver]

Yeah. D. VA it did.

[Caleb Hammer]

It did.

[Oliver]

Okay. I was living with my ex at the time. He was a bum. Okay. Big bum. I opened.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, we're gonna blame it on someone else. All right, let's go throughout this. Is this the big femme?

[Oliver]

No, this is the one before.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. Big mask.

[Oliver]

Yeah. Yeah, Big mask.

[Caleb Hammer]

Definitely not black.

[Oliver]

No, he's white.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah.

[Oliver]

But we'll call him Doug.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. Yeah, Doug. What did Doug do?

[Oliver]

Doug didn't really do much. Like, he was working at a school and then wasn't. And then was only working, like, a summer job.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. Why does this you. Because boyfriend. Not a husband, not a partner. Not a. You're right.

[Oliver]

And it, like, does come back to Me where I couldn't like put my foot down.

[Caleb Hammer]

Listen, how long were you guys dating?

[Oliver]

Like two and a half years.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay.

[Oliver]

And we, we lived together. Like I had moved in with him.

[Caleb Hammer]

What are you complaining about what happened?

[Oliver]

Because we were like legit, like broke, like down to like paycheck after paycheck.

[Caleb Hammer]

It was like, hey. Well that sounds like it involves you too.

[Oliver]

It does. And yeah, again, like it just sounds like I'm going to blame him. But like we just. Yeah, we just ate all the time. We like never like cooked indoors that much or like, I can tell, you know. And I just took the card out and we would just go out to the bars as well in Omaha and get drunk.

[Caleb Hammer]

The bars in Omaha?

[Oliver]

Yeah, they have those here in Austin. Right.

[Caleb Hammer]

How many are there? Enough to choose from to. Really?

[Oliver]

There's a good handful.

[Caleb Hammer]

Applebee's. They have a bar. That is true. I don't. Okay.

[Oliver]

Okay.

[Caleb Hammer]

Very good.

[Oliver]

I don't have a good grasp on my finances, clearly. And I was mostly just trying to escape my home life at my parents house. And that's kind of why I moved in with him. Cause I moved in with him.

[Caleb Hammer]

I don't have a problem with the move in. It's your behavior all throughout in there. And now you're just. Just blame it on him. So you can't blame him for you moving in.

[Oliver]

I'm not going to blame him. I'll blame me because I definitely like moved out and was like, oh, yeah, yeah. I'm on my own. I can do whatever the I want. I can stay out, I can eat whatever I want.

[Caleb Hammer]

How long was this going on?

[Oliver]

I mean, it's still going on. Caleb, if we're being serious.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yes, obviously we are blaming on him.

[Oliver]

I was, but no, I'm not. But yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

And then what is this with this Galinda shit?

[Oliver]

Like, did you see Wicked?

[Caleb Hammer]

You're spending a shit ton.

[Oliver]

Did you see Wicked? Like, have you seen it?

[Caleb Hammer]

I literally said at the beginning of this conversation I liked it.

[Oliver]

Okay, so what do you not get about it? Like, did you see Ariana Grande? Did you hear her say, Were you.

[Caleb Hammer]

Willing to let me finish my sentence?

[Oliver]

Yeah, go ahead. I'll let you finish. Whenever, wherever too.

[Caleb Hammer]

You asked Colton on the phone call if I have a nice ass.

[Oliver]

I did.

[Co-host/Commentator]

This is weird.

[Oliver]

Cause you're always sitting. You're always sitting.

[Caleb Hammer]

I have an incredible yes. Yeah.

[Oliver]

I'm thicked up.

[Co-host/Commentator]

No.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why not?

[Co-host/Commentator]

Why would I ever show you any.

[Caleb Hammer]

Part of my body?

[Oliver]

You already showed me your belly when.

[Caleb Hammer]

You stretched it wasn't an intentional show.

[Oliver]

Well, I saw.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yes. Also, it's on my Instagram. You're right. That is true. I'm caked up.

[Oliver]

Do I follow you on Instagram? I don't know.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, I would not know anyway.

[Oliver]

Either way, I did ask him if your butt is cute, because I do. Like, I mean, who doesn't like a butt?

[Caleb Hammer]

What did he say?

[Oliver]

What did he say? I think he said. Yeah. Yeah, that's what he said.

[Caleb Hammer]

The correct answer is yes. Well, I know that, but no, you don't. Engagement?

[Oliver]

Yes. He said he's taken, like you said earlier.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, my gosh. I'm surrounded. Okay, okay. It's fine. Just stop. Listen, can I have this conversation? Colton told me you've been spending a ton on Wicked Merchant.

[Oliver]

Yeah, guilty as charged. So you're mad?

[Caleb Hammer]

You had to travel last night because of a Wicked TV special. So we're going into debt. Like, your lesbian friend told Colton that you've spent thousands. Thousands on Wicked alone. Yeah, thousands on Wicked alone. That is insane.

[Oliver]

I didn't think it was all.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Well, literally.

[Caleb Hammer]

Listen, I have another late fee on this next card coming up. You're not paying your minimum payments that are. Honestly.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Yeah, they're. They're chunky. But thousands on Wicked, while you're only.

[Caleb Hammer]

Making $2400 a month, struggling to pay our rent, making our sister potentially have to foot the bill, making our parents 100.

[Oliver]

She's not signing the bill.

[Caleb Hammer]

You're. Yeah, but she's nervous about it.

[Co-host/Commentator]

And you're blowing all that money on.

[Caleb Hammer]

Wicked instead of making your minimum payments. Wicked Journal. Wicked blanket. Wicked cat toys. Wicked Insanity.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Wicked Insanity.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah.

[Oliver]

The Funko Pops. There's a jacket. There's a mirror. I got that, like, lights up. That has like, Emerald City on the back. I have.

[Caleb Hammer]

But you're almost, like, proud of this. You're talking like you're proud.

[Co-host/Commentator]

This is disgusting.

[Caleb Hammer]

While your parents are paying your rent, you're not making your minimum payments. Why is this considered acceptable in any way whatsoever?

[Oliver]

Because I thought I needed it and it would make me feel better.

[Caleb Hammer]

What do you need? Listen, I understand when people think they need to go out.

[Oliver]

Cause.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, mental health. Okay. Or I need food. Listen, it's still stupid, and I'll argue against it, but how can you define this as a need?

[Oliver]

It's an emotional support wand. What do you mean? I hold it and I feel like Glinda. And I feel like a good witch, you know?

[Caleb Hammer]

Are you eight? When I held a stick, I thought I was like a Jedi that was exciting.

[Oliver]

Is that Star Wars?

[Caleb Hammer]

Yes.

[Oliver]

Oh cool.

[Caleb Hammer]

You're a 26 year old man.

[Oliver]

You don't need to put the quotation marks.

[Caleb Hammer]

I know I'm insulting you cause you're.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Upsetting me but Starbucks is bull and a waste of money. And you already know that by making your coffee at home and invest in the rest. So now you need to do that with your energy drink as well. Make gamer subs at home for just 40 cents a serving.

[Caleb Hammer]

And honestly, it literally tastes better. And we proved this accidentally via a blind taste test in our Hammer Elite show Fat and Fatter. The number one ranked energy drink is game sauce.

[Oliver]

Literally. The cherry flavor is insane.

[Caleb Hammer]

Listen.

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[Caleb Hammer]

You can also get free samples to see if you like it or 10% off your order at gamersupps gg or click that link in the description below. Type in code Caleb, the number one.

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[Caleb Hammer]

Shows you were doing this behind his back. One of them.

[Oliver]

I've actually never seen this photo audit breakdown.

[Caleb Hammer]

Like we still don't film with people like that. Like he is in next level.

[Hammer Elite Promoter]

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[Caleb Hammer]

Discipline into your budget. That's what I was.

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Fat and fatter.

[Co-host/Commentator]

What is this Brand?

[Caleb Hammer]

Brand.

[Hammer Elite Promoter]

And now two new shows behind the scenes and Lindsay's checkup.

[Oliver]

Did you get married?

[Narrator/Advertiser]

I got married.

[Oliver]

Smaller ceremony but a big reception. Give me all the details.

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[Oliver]

Like did you like did you see the trailer for good? Like her like waving that thing around like she literally like holds it like this. No.

[Caleb Hammer]

Do you not care?

[Oliver]

Do you not give a. I guess I don't like.

[Caleb Hammer]

What are we talking? Why are we having a conversation? Why am I wasting my time with you?

[Oliver]

Because I need to care.

[Caleb Hammer]

And I need to care. I can't convince you. Don't.

[Oliver]

Okay, can we like Just, like, take a second. Can I just boop you real quick so we can just, like, reset?

[Caleb Hammer]

No, because this isn't a joke, dude. Listen, I don't know. You think you're fun. You think you're silly. You think you're cute. Shut the up. It's not. It's obnoxious. You're obnoxious. You're living an obnoxious life. You don't give a about anything. And you hear that laugh. His parents pay his rent. His parents pay his rent. Well, he spends bullshit on Wicked. Thousands on Wicked. Disgusting. I'd be disgusted to be your parents. I'd be disgusted to be your sister. I'd be disgusted to be your lesbian friend. I'm disgusted to sit in front of you right now. You're a horrible excuse. Horrible excuse for a human.

[Oliver]

It's hot when you say that to me. See?

[Caleb Hammer]

What the am I doing? What do I do with that? Dick? What do I do with that? How can I have a productive conversation here, possibly?

[Oliver]

Sorry, I'm deflecting. I flirt when I'm nervous, and you're making me nervous because you're right. Like, yeah, I don't care. But, like, I want to. Like, I need to.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, you want to. You need to. Why take money for your parents, spend thousands on Go Linda and then not make your payments on your cards? Tell me the why behind it. Why aren't you making the payments?

[Co-host/Commentator]

How about.

[Caleb Hammer]

Can we just start there? Why aren't you making your payments on time?

[Oliver]

Huh?

[Co-host/Commentator]

How about that?

[Oliver]

Because I don't want to. Because I. I can't. Like, there's this.

[Caleb Hammer]

Because you don't want to. Yeah, but you're spending thousands on Wicked.

[Oliver]

Correct. I don't want to pay the predators. I don't want to pay. Money's not real, Caleb.

[Caleb Hammer]

I mean, objectively, it is. It's on your paper. It's how you got the wands. What are you talking about? We're not bartering.

[Oliver]

Construct. Like, it's literally like, it was made to control everything and, like, that's what's doing.

[Caleb Hammer]

Consensus construct. And you broke it earlier. Okay? Doesn't mean we don't follow it. And it's not real.

[Oliver]

Fine, Dick, Whatever.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, It's a construct. I think we can all agree on that. Does that not mean it doesn't dictate life and have an impact on life, then?

[Co-host/Commentator]

It should. It doesn't matter.

[Caleb Hammer]

Should or would, how does that benefit this conversation whatsoever? It doesn't.

[Oliver]

Like I said before, I, like, hope things to be true. Like, I just kind of like.

[Caleb Hammer]

Does that work? 26 year old failure.

[Oliver]

No, it is not. No.

[Co-host/Commentator]

So it doesn't matter. So give it up. Give up that bullshit.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why are you. Why are you latching on to the. It's a construct, it shouldn't matter. Blah, blah, blah. That. That hasn't got you anywhere. That hasn't got you anywhere. So maybe we try something different.

[Oliver]

Like what?

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh my goodness. Like thinking that making your payments might actually have an impact. Might actually be important. Okay, City double cash. We got $3650.03. Takes 12 years to pay off minimum payments only without any purchases. But you don't make minimum payments.

[Co-host/Commentator]

You were late.

[Caleb Hammer]

There it is. Fees and interest.

[Oliver]

No, I got that card to like put some of the Discover amount on it and then I like racked up the Discover one again.

[Caleb Hammer]

I'm sorry, you transferred from the Discover and then built up the Discover Again.

[Oliver]

Again.

[Caleb Hammer]

This is why I don't like bankruptcy or consolidation or credit card transfers or personal loans to take care of debts.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Until we change our behavior.

[Caleb Hammer]

Your behavior is out of control. You're out of control. You are insane.

[Lesbian Friend]

You.

[Oliver]

I'm a wild gay.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, it's not cute. You think you're being cute and silly. You're not. That is not a cope to fall back on. It's not. You are an actual person on this earth. You get the choice to live a better life. You are actively choosing not to. And then you're like, ha ha, I'm a silly G off of that bullshit.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Off of that bullshit.

[Oliver]

All right, all right, all right.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why not make your minimum on this, please?

[Oliver]

Because I felt like money could go towards other things like my gas or like my food or.

[Caleb Hammer]

But it went to Galila.

[Oliver]

It went to wicked stuff. Yeah, it did. It did.

[Caleb Hammer]

The shit doesn't benefit you.

[Co-host/Commentator]

It's nice.

[Oliver]

It doesn't benefit me.

[Caleb Hammer]

It doesn't have a long term impact on me.

[Oliver]

I mean it benefits me emotionally. Like mentally.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, mentally. You remember when you said you were too stressed to look at your.

[Oliver]

Yeah, Mentally.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Not having.

[Caleb Hammer]

Having a fully funded emergency fund for the next time your jobless for a month, that would benefit you mentally?

[Oliver]

You know what, you're right about that, wouldn't it?

[Caleb Hammer]

No shit. No shit, dude.

[Oliver]

Oh my God, Caleb. It's crazy. It's like you're right. It's like you know what you're talking about. That's crazy. That's wild, dude.

[Caleb Hammer]

I don't know. You're making me have less hope.

[Oliver]

No.

[Caleb Hammer]

Than I normally feel in conversations. I Mean, you've only missed your payments for three months. So you were doing. So at least you. You made payments on time this year. Why haven't you recently.

[Oliver]

Because you were doing it because I lost the job and I.

[Caleb Hammer]

How much were you making in that job?

[Oliver]

I told you, I was working, like, 50 hours a week and not even making, like, I. Okay. I worked it from, like, November of last year to, like.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why can you not tell me a number? Dude, what is wrong?

[Oliver]

Because I don't know, Caleb. I told you, I don't look at that. Like, I don't.

[Caleb Hammer]

But your complaint is now you're not making enough. How can you even say that if you didn't know what you're making?

[Oliver]

Because I wasn't making enough. Like, I. Like, I just. There was no money coming in. I don't know how to put it. When I was in this sales job from, like, November.

[Caleb Hammer]

Now you're not making your payment now.

[Oliver]

Correct.

[Caleb Hammer]

You have this year. Now you're not.

[Oliver]

Correct.

[Co-host/Commentator]

So what is going on now?

[Oliver]

Because that goes to other things, like my rent and, like, my car payment. Like, my actual bills that I, like, really need to pay.

[Caleb Hammer]

Like, which is why we had $800 of miscellaneous bullshit last month. Yeah, that's.

[Oliver]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Great. This doesn't make sense. Dude, you're. What a cope. What a lie. What a sad excuse of an existence.

[Oliver]

It's very sad.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, but you don't give a. Or your Charlotte is just such an immense cope shell that it's, like, horrible.

[Oliver]

Listen, gays are traumatized.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, stop with this.

[Oliver]

I know you said you're not a mental health person, but, like, not a mental health person.

[Caleb Hammer]

What do you mean?

[Oliver]

Well, like, that you're not like, a therapist.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, no shit.

[Oliver]

Obviously. And, like, people come up with me.

[Caleb Hammer]

Doesn't mean I don't support mental health.

[Oliver]

Well, I know, I know. Jetty, chill.

[Co-host/Commentator]

What the hell is even that?

[Oliver]

Like, you just take. You hear what I'm saying? And then you just run with it and take it to the extreme. Like, yeah, I got scammed three times. Yeah, I spent $800 on Wicked stuff.

[Caleb Hammer]

But, like, thousands on wicked, by the way. Shut the up.

[Oliver]

I'm a person.

[Caleb Hammer]

800 and miscellaneous. Barely.

[Oliver]

Listen. Barely. I know.

[Caleb Hammer]

Listen. What were you saying? Every gay has trauma. No, shut the up. This is not the world we live in anymore. Shut up. I'm sure some do. Some come from shitty families. Some might get bullied in school. I don't know. Come on. You can't just fall back on that. You can't the nerd gets bullied, the les gets bullied. You know, it's whatever. They're not going to fall back on it for the rest of their life. This is just so stupid. I mean you have finance purchases in here.

[Oliver]

I also.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, balance transfer is 2,207 of it. But 1384 was spending on bullshit as well.

[Oliver]

Well, I told you I moved in with my sister.

[Caleb Hammer]

Balance transfer, interest free period ends in just a couple months. And then you're. This is not deferred interest. But you are gonna be very soon. Yeah, just not in real life because.

[Oliver]

You can't get laid like in a bad way.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, go to the gym.

[Oliver]

Will you be there though? Will you be there when I.

[Caleb Hammer]

You go to the gym. Dude, you're. Something's wrong with you a lot.

[Oliver]

If you couldn't tell.

[Caleb Hammer]

Quicksilver. Oh yeah. Not making payments. You're a failure. I can't wait to talk to your.

[Oliver]

To my lesbian friend here.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah. In the post show about how her friend is an actual failure. Maybe she can hold your feet to the fire.

[Oliver]

She has like she, like she does. She keeps.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, it's working so well.

[Oliver]

Well right. It doesn't work because I don't follow along but like she does like keep on me when she like can but.

[Caleb Hammer]

Quicksilver. $3219.79 minimum depayment. 312 because we're behind. I'm gonna say 150. I don't know is normal.

[Oliver]

Sounds about right.

[Caleb Hammer]

Late fees, interest. 17 years to pay off.

[Oliver]

17 years.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well that's if you actually make your minimum. You don't. So.

[Oliver]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

So no much longer actually. I would say.

[Oliver]

Who knows if I'll even be around that long. The world is dying.

[Caleb Hammer]

Are you terminal? I don't know. The world is dying.

[Oliver]

The world is dying, Caleb. Global warming.

[Caleb Hammer]

I missed that news. Well, I don't think people say the world's not gonna exist. That's not what they say.

[Oliver]

Yeah, a lot of people say that.

[Caleb Hammer]

I don't think anyone says that in Omaha. They do. In the middle of the country, away.

[Oliver]

From the coast and yeah, we're landlocked. Yeah, a lot of Jesus freaks up there.

[Caleb Hammer]

Uh huh. So what was this card used for? You racked up an insane amount of money that of course now you're not paying. Oh good. Drake, Taylor Swift concerts. Pitbull.

[Oliver]

Yeah, I saw Taylor in concert on the ERAs tour. Obviously had to go do that.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah. I love destroying my life for a billionaire.

[Oliver]

Yeah, she's gotten. Yeah. You're not a Swiftie.

[Caleb Hammer]

It's fine. I mean, I don't care. I'm not anti swift or pro Swift.

[Oliver]

I did see the other lady. I just watched the video of the.

[Caleb Hammer]

I'm glad I don't get give a.

[Oliver]

Okay.

[Caleb Hammer]

I don't care what you've done. I do care that you've gone to Taylor Swift when you couldn't afford it.

[Oliver]

And you yourself, Taylor Swift, right here, actually. This is a bracelet.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yes, you've helped contribute to her billions because you're easy to milk. I got it.

[Oliver]

Very easy to milk. You want to find out?

[Caleb Hammer]

I want to ban these jokes. Like, what is happening? It's okay. And then you're going to Colorado soon and you've already paid for half the trip. But I don't know.

[Oliver]

Yeah, it's like a scheme.

[Caleb Hammer]

You're over maxed out by hundreds of dollars. You're not making your payments. You're going on a ski trip. What kind of privileged, disgusting creature are you who thinks you deserve that? Who thinks you're entitled to that? You go back to Omaha, dig a hole and die.

[Oliver]

That's the nicest thing you've said to me all day.

[Caleb Hammer]

This is just.

[Oliver]

You're.

[Caleb Hammer]

You're.

[Co-host/Commentator]

You're contributing nothing.

[Caleb Hammer]

You're taking everything. And then you're gonna ask for a handout and cry for sympathy in your future. You taking money from your parents, you making your sister stress you. What is wrong with you, Colorado?

[Oliver]

Who.

[Caleb Hammer]

Who are you to go skiing? What a disgusting animal.

[Oliver]

I'm actually not gonna ski. I'm just gonna go, like, have fun.

[Caleb Hammer]

What does that mean? What does that look like?

[Oliver]

Like, I'll just hang out with my friends. Like it's a big friend group that's going and they're gonna go.

[Caleb Hammer]

Are they from Omaha?

[Oliver]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

So that makes it harder for you to leave?

[Oliver]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

There's no way. Omaha doesn't have a halfway decent. They have opportunities there. It's not like a major tech hub or anything crazy, but it's like they have opportunities. And the largest city in Nebraska, I'm.

[Oliver]

Assuming I'm not very.

[Caleb Hammer]

You have a degree?

[Oliver]

I do have a degree.

[Caleb Hammer]

What's your degree in?

[Oliver]

Psychology.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why?

[Oliver]

Well, like every other person that goes into psychology, I wanted to find out what the was wrong with me and why I was the way I was.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, you're gay. No one cares anymore.

[Oliver]

Well, it was more than just the gay stuff. It was more like, sure, let's go with that. And just like the simplicity of like.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, it's your Behavior, big guy.

[Oliver]

It is my behavior.

[Caleb Hammer]

I don't wanna hear it.

[Oliver]

I need like.

[Caleb Hammer]

I don't wanna hear it. I don't wanna hear it. What's wrong with me?

[Oliver]

F you.

[Caleb Hammer]

It's your behavior. It's your choices. It's your actions. You're taking by choice. Galinda wand while taking your parents money. It's disgusting. It's immaturity. It's you a horrendous individual. Okay, well, I'll get you an actual certification in a career field that has benefits and course careers. You choose which one you want. A lot of people out there have used it to get raises or get new jobs.

[Oliver]

Really?

[Caleb Hammer]

So I'll gift you one.

[Oliver]

Really?

[Caleb Hammer]

Yes.

[Oliver]

Sweet. Thank you.

[Caleb Hammer]

And you should use the FIZ card if you're gonna use a credit card going forward because it's a debit card that builds credit. FIZ card. Debit card that builds credit doesn't let you spend more than what's in your checking account. Because, obvious, you cannot manage credit cards worth shit. You're not a credit card person. Off die. What?

[Oliver]

This is correct. And I was just gonna say I can't. Like, I have a really bad credit score, as you could probably assume.

[Caleb Hammer]

What is it?

[Oliver]

So I sent a thing, I think, to the producers of like, then I will see it. Okay.

[Co-host/Commentator]

I think I said, then I will see it. Okay. Shut the up.

[Oliver]

Oh, my God.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh. Like four missed payments this year so far, which again means you're making payments at some point. I don't understand where the transition happened to not making payments.

[Oliver]

I decided one day I'm not gonna pay.

[Caleb Hammer]

Carecredit. What's happening?

[Oliver]

My cat had a bladder obstruction and it broke.

[Caleb Hammer]

The cat?

[Oliver]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

You. You can't afford a cat? What a selfish person.

[Oliver]

I got the cat with my ex boyfriend, who I told you about, that I moved in with, and he didn't pay for anything on it at all. By the way, let me see a.

[Caleb Hammer]

Picture of your ex.

[Oliver]

Oh, okay. Yeah. If I haven't deleted all of them yet.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, normal minimum is $71. You owe $2,169. It's at its max, no surprise. And we're past due. Two payments. We now owe three 13 years to pay off minimum monthly payment. Social media exists, you dumb tit. We like putting pictures of everyone's ex on screen because you know how well they can pull. Let's find out. This is insanity. We're literally. We're four cards in here. Pasto on everything. You're not doing shit all while Milking other people and spending money on. Which is bullshit. That doesn't matter.

[Oliver]

Regrettably, bullshit that doesn't. You're right. Huh?

[Caleb Hammer]

You're right, Han.

[Oliver]

Everything you just said.

[Caleb Hammer]

Then why aren't you doing anything?

[Oliver]

Because I just, like, gave up. Like, I just feel like there's no hope. Oh, no. I probably deleted all these photos of him.

[Caleb Hammer]

Just Instagram? Are you stupid?

[Oliver]

I don't follow him anymore.

[Co-host/Commentator]

You can look people up.

[Caleb Hammer]

If you don't follow them, you are. What is wrong with you? I swear, sometimes. Whoa. I know. We get the bottom of the barrel.

[Oliver]

All right, all right. Let me go. Jesus Christ.

[Caleb Hammer]

If you're capable of using Instagram, come on. The show kaleframer.com apply. I'd be happy to take a look at your ex so I can see what you're able to pull. My goodness. It's usually a fun little detour in the middle of a bitter conversation of insanity.

[Oliver]

That was the first one. That's Doug.

[Caleb Hammer]

Looks very similar to Brandon.

[Oliver]

Stop, stop, stop.

[Caleb Hammer]

To Brandon. And you like the Brandon?

[Oliver]

I do like the Brandon. Hey, Brandon. He just nodded at me.

[Caleb Hammer]

But he sticks it in a hole. He sticks it in a new hole every night. You might be able to play some convincing.

[Oliver]

No.

[Caleb Hammer]

A fatter Brandon fast.

[Oliver]

No.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, actually, to do something like. Oh, yeah, Definitely got the thickness. But it's really in the cheeks more than anything. Brandon. What? Why are you being homophobic over there? Why are you saying it's homophobic? Not to this man.

[Oliver]

I'll wear whatever you want, Brandon.

[Caleb Hammer]

You'll wear whatever you want, Brandon.

[Oliver]

Or nothing at all, if that's what you want.

[Caleb Hammer]

Sexually assault Brandon next. So, yeah, that's my exact me.

[Oliver]

Which I have more tea on that for later.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, thanks.

[Oliver]

No, you're going to want to hear it.

[Caleb Hammer]

I don't give a. Unless it involves finances. I don't give a. Oh, you just say that. It's a promotional balance. Deferred interest. Oh, deferred interest hits in just a couple months. Oh, you're so done.

[Oliver]

You're so done. Yeah, so my cat had a bladder obstruction, so we had to go.

[Caleb Hammer]

You already told me that. Are you.

[Oliver]

Yeah, but I didn't tell you, like, how much it was and shit.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, I have the balance. All I know is you are having deferred interest that is accruing hundreds of dollars and it's all about to hit.

[Co-host/Commentator]

In a couple months.

[Oliver]

Deferred interest? Is that, like, later? Like, it comes down later. Nobody ever told me this stuff. Mind you, they probably no One ever told anyone.

[Caleb Hammer]

No one ever tells anyone. It's on you to learn. You're an adult.

[Oliver]

Okay, I need to stop.

[Caleb Hammer]

Here's the thing. Your minimum payment is $71. You're not even paying that. So that's issue number one. Issue number two, you need to make $425 to pay this off before the deferred interest period ends. Let's explain it. There is interest free this in five months. If this was interest free. You're not paying interest on it right now. It's not accruing. It starts accruing interest on whatever the balance is once the interest free period ends. Deferred interest means it is accruing interest.

[Oliver]

Okay.

[Caleb Hammer]

Behind the scenes and all of that immediately gets added to the balance if you do not pay it off completely by the time that date ends.

[Oliver]

That's kind of messed up. It accrues interest and then it'll attach. But.

[Caleb Hammer]

But if you pay it off before the deferred interest period ends, if you pay the interest, you don't have to pay interest. Balance, Balance. The. The interest isn't accruing to the balance.

[Oliver]

Don't throw your calculator at me.

[Caleb Hammer]

I didn't. I put it down. You are. You sensitive little bitch. Listen, but the thing is that is not being added to the balance right now. It gets added to the balance. If you do not pay off the balance by the time that ends. And that is five months from now.

[Oliver]

Yeah, that is.

[Caleb Hammer]

Do you understand? You asked the question. I explained it. Do you understand I'm not getting much from you?

[Oliver]

That I need to pay the balance?

[Caleb Hammer]

No. How deferred interest works.

[Oliver]

It accrues over time. And then it will attach itself to it. If you don't pay off basically the balance.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah. By the day. The end of the promotional.

[Oliver]

Okay.

[Caleb Hammer]

You get it?

[Oliver]

Yeah, I think so.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. Happens beginning of April.

[Oliver]

Great. Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

You gotta make a payment of 425amonth or else your hundreds of dollars gets added to your debt.

[Oliver]

We'll work on it. That's why I'm here.

[Caleb Hammer]

You'll be above the balance like crazy. We'll work on it. Dude, you're not paying. You're late again. You're endlessly late. We're four cards in. You haven't paid a bill. You're a mess. You're a joke. You're a disaster. You're an embarrassment. You're a failure. I'd be ashamed to be associated with you.

[Oliver]

What?

[Caleb Hammer]

And unfortunately now I am. Nfm. What is that?

[Oliver]

No money just Kidding. It's Nebraska Furniture Merit. It's like a.

[Caleb Hammer]

So you had to get brand new furniture. You had to get brand new furniture to move it to a place you can't afford?

[Oliver]

Actually, there's. There's no furniture on this card. It's my laptop and AirPods.

[Co-host/Commentator]

What do you need a laptop for? Bill Runner.

[Oliver]

It gave me a $4,000 limit. The laptop I had was one I'd used all throughout college, so it was, like, super slow.

[Co-host/Commentator]

What is your laptop?

[Oliver]

It was super slow.

[Caleb Hammer]

What laptop did you have?

[Oliver]

Oh, it's like a. Wait, before did.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Yes, Did.

[Caleb Hammer]

What do you think the word did means? You.

[Oliver]

It was a 2013 MacBook Pro. Okay.

[Caleb Hammer]

That's definitely aging and teenager. I get it.

[Oliver]

It, like, wouldn't even get, like, system updates anymore.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. So I want to get a new computer, too. Depends on what you get. What do you need? What did you get? What did you get? You.

[Oliver]

You're gonna be so mad.

[Caleb Hammer]

I will. What is it?

[Oliver]

It's like a 2024, like, MacBook Air.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, okay. Well, okay. Actually, no, I'm not freaking out.

[Oliver]

It was like, 200.

[Caleb Hammer]

You got an Air. Okay, well, you probably. You got it more upgraded than you needed for what you needed to do.

[Oliver]

Absolutely.

[Caleb Hammer]

I would have got more towards about 1100 bucks, but at least you didn't go MacBook Pro. Cause someone like you does not need one. And that is all I'm saying.

[Oliver]

Correct.

[Caleb Hammer]

So I'm glad you at least got the air. But for you upgraded it more.

[Oliver]

I'm finally glad about something I did. Oh, my God.

[Caleb Hammer]

You still spent hundreds. Should have, though.

[Oliver]

All right, all right.

[Caleb Hammer]

And I'm being told the lesbian was so mad matter. What. Get in the laptop. Why is she even friends with you if she.

[Oliver]

Honestly, I have. No.

[Caleb Hammer]

If she hates the way you live your life, why is she accepting this?

[Oliver]

I don't know. Lesbians. I don't. I don't understand them. Do you?

[Caleb Hammer]

I'm hoping to convince her, but no. I don't know. I don't know if I understand.

[Oliver]

We're talking about. So, like, I need you to, like, just.

[Caleb Hammer]

I would stick it in.

[Oliver]

She wouldn't like that.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, but I would. Well, with consent.

[Oliver]

Oh, right.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Hold on.

[Oliver]

Right.

[Caleb Hammer]

Hold on. To be very.

[Oliver]

What did we just talk about?

[Caleb Hammer]

Come on, leg toucher.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Shut the.

[Oliver]

Who just came in here to talk about consent?

[Caleb Hammer]

HR Yeah, I said with consent. You creature. You beast. You're the one rubbing people. Weirdo.

[Oliver]

You liked it, though.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, and I love rubbing people. I'm very much into okay, come on. But again with again.

[Oliver]

I don't know why she's friends with me. She's too good for me. I don't deserve her. I really don't deserve her.

[Co-host/Commentator]

It's a win win.

[Caleb Hammer]

You get money and I get money.

[Co-host/Commentator]

These are called affiliates and you get that sweet, sweet cash for signing up for some amazing products. The first one is Chime.

[Caleb Hammer]

This is a checking account that I personally use and you get up to a 350 bonus with a new Chime checking account and earn up to 3.5% APY on your savings.

[Co-host/Commentator]

And second, my investing app of choice.

[Caleb Hammer]

These days is Webull and get a 2 match on all of your money.

[Co-host/Commentator]

That you transfer over and finally sign.

[Caleb Hammer]

Up for automated investing with acorns. Typically the sign up bonus is only five bucks but with my link you get $20. Ladies and gents, you get money. I get money. Enjoy. Links are in the description below. Wanna know a dirty little secret? And no, I'm not starting an Only.

[Co-host/Commentator]

You'Re not broke because you suck.

[Caleb Hammer]

Ford.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Bluecruise Hands Free highway driving takes the work out of being behind the wheel, allowing you to relax and reconnect while also staying in control. Enjoy the drive in BlueCruise enabled vehicles like the F150 Explorer and Mustang Mach E. Available feature on equipped vehicles Terms apply. Does not replace safe driving. See Ford.com BlueCruise for more details.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Stuck with money?

[Caleb Hammer]

You just can't see where it's going. If your bank account is empty at the end of every month, that is not bad luck. That is bad tracking. And it's exactly why I use dollar wise. It shows you exactly where your money's going every single month. Spending subscriptions and savings all in one simple dashboard. Everything you need and nothing you don't. And when you download Dollarwise today, you'll get to try it for free.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Plus 3 months for just $9.99 so.

[Caleb Hammer]

You can finally take control and see what your money's been doing behind your back. Click below to get started.

[Oliver]

I really don't deserve anybody that's helped me agree because I'm just.

[Caleb Hammer]

You're horrible. You're a moocher.

[Oliver]

I.

[Caleb Hammer]

You're a disgusting parasite on this planet.

[Oliver]

I am a parasite.

[Caleb Hammer]

$1,348.61 so and you said AirPods as well? Of course. Can't get a MacBook without getting some AirPods. Seven years to pay this one off, $54 minimum payment, of course fees and of course interest.

[Oliver]

This one I kind of pay off when I can. Like, you know.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why selective this one? Because. Yes, you made a minimum payment. Why selective this one when it's a lower interest rate than all the other ones? Why? Because it's 18%. Is it great? No, it's. But it's not in the 30s like the others. So why this one? What is your logic?

[Oliver]

I guess I don't have logic. It's the.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, tell me why you're choosing that.

[Oliver]

It was because if I pay it off within the year, it will. Oh, no. Oh, no, no.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why?

[Co-host/Commentator]

I'm trying to listen.

[Oliver]

I'm sorry, you're just like over there, like reacting.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, I'm trying to listen to your re.

[Oliver]

To my explanation.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay.

[Oliver]

What was I talking about?

[Caleb Hammer]

Why you're choosing that card to put.

[Oliver]

Because when I bought the laptop, it was like. It's like 24. It was like a. It was like a 12 months interest free if you pay it off in time. But clearly I have not gotten close to paying it off, so she's just chilling there. What?

[Caleb Hammer]

I just. You're just. The way you live your life is a mess. What it says. What am I looking at? You're in a debt program. You got into a debt program when you're building all your debt back up again. You f. King moron. What is wrong with you? I like debt relief programs, but only after you change your behavior, you moron.

[Oliver]

Well, as you. As you saw, the minimum payments were quite a lot.

[Caleb Hammer]

Is that for all these things?

[Oliver]

It's maybe.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh. Every debt we talked about is now in a debt relief program.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

No.

[Caleb Hammer]

Huh? What. What is going on there? Yeah, I'm being told no. So this is past debt. Mm. Are you able to just say words? Do you know what's happening?

[Oliver]

I guess I just don't even know myself like what it is. Like I put in some cards, so it's like paying off a balance and then I like brought the balance right back up, basically is what happened.

[Caleb Hammer]

$128.72 on a monthly basis. Are you at least paying that shit?

[Oliver]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, you owe $14,074. And this goes from. Yeah, a capital one. We don't have a different card, A synchrony card. We don't have. Yeah, this is what is wrong with you. It's a 48 month plan. Fees annual basis 6.25. It's better than 30% interest rates that were probably associated with it, of course.

[Co-host/Commentator]

But it doesn't matter because you racked up all your debts again, so it doesn't matter. You've just ruined your.

[Oliver]

Again.

[Caleb Hammer]

You didn't use this as a tool.

[Co-host/Commentator]

You It.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why? What was the point? Without changing what you actually did?

[Oliver]

There wasn't a point.

[Caleb Hammer]

I guess you were just rushing for a solution. I was just like, you're. This isn't a scam necessarily. You just scammed yourself. Just kind of like the other things. The other things were actually scammed, but you were stupid and you fell into them. This isn't a scam. But you. You scammed yourself because you went into it. You built up debt again. Now you have doubled the debt and you're.

[Oliver]

Yeah, I'm.

[Caleb Hammer]

What do I do with that? What do I do with that? Because I'm not convinced you give a shit because you're still spending money on bullshit today. This Galinda Dumbasser Wicked's about to come out. Part two, and you're really gonna go overboard. Like, I don't know what to do. Your income sucks. Your income sucks. Like, sucks big time.

[Oliver]

Yeah, it's. It's all right.

[Caleb Hammer]

No. No, it is not.

[Oliver]

My other job that I had this summer was $17 an hour. So that was like, shit.

[Caleb Hammer]

And you didn't even get the job yourself. The lesbian got you this job. Cause you weren't working. You can't produce anything. You're not a provider. You're a leech. You're nothing.

[Oliver]

Yeah, I rely on others a lot. I'm very codependent, I guess you could say.

[Caleb Hammer]

And how do you feel about that? Because I would be embarrassed and want to change.

[Oliver]

I mean, it is embarrassing, but, like. But.

[Caleb Hammer]

But you're not willing to do anything.

[Oliver]

So you're embarrassed, but you wasn't willing to do anything. But, like, I now realize that, like, I need to.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah. Median hourly wage in the Omaha Metro area is $30 an hour. You're two thirds. You're not doing well. You're not doing well at all. That translates to $62,900 a year.

[Oliver]

Yeah, you're.

[Caleb Hammer]

And you have a degree. This is like. It's insane.

[Oliver]

Tell me something I don't know.

[Caleb Hammer]

I. I don't. Well, I don't know what you know and don't know because you honestly are pretty stupid. Is that all your debt?

[Oliver]

Well, in my car, I have, like, 13 grand on my car still, dude.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, my gosh. Okay, let's see this car.

[Oliver]

It's this. Yeah.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Oh, this is it. I thought this is the consolidation because it's the same balance, basically. So I thought. Oh, what are you doing? What is the car. What car do you have?

[Caleb Hammer]

What car do you have?

[Oliver]

It's a 2018 Subaru Forester. It is a salvage title. I am full as. Yeah. And I wrecked it twice. Well, I only wrecked it once, and I got into a fender bender myself.

[Caleb Hammer]

What is wrong with you?

[Oliver]

I'm gay.

[Co-host/Commentator]

No, you can't fall back on that for everything. You can't.

[Oliver]

I was looking at the sunset and I was not looking ahead of me.

[Caleb Hammer]

And I hit a median $14,025.46.

[Oliver]

And I liked up my front end. My wheel popped, my bumper came off. It was bad. It was very bad.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why are you getting in car crashes?

[Oliver]

Because I told you, I was looking at the sunset, trying to take a pict.

[Caleb Hammer]

$345.11.

[Oliver]

Yeah. That's every month.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Well. No shit. Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Your minimum depayment.

[Co-host/Commentator]

No shit, dude.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah. Yeah, it is. What's the interest rate?

[Oliver]

I think like 7%.

[Caleb Hammer]

Colton's also saying that's the gayest excuse for a car crash he's ever heard.

[Oliver]

What, the sunset?

[Caleb Hammer]

Yes.

[Oliver]

I mean, that's what happened. I was in awe. Nebraska has the best sunsets. That's why.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah. That's what everyone knows and considers. Guys go to Nebraska for the best sunsets in the country.

[Oliver]

That's agreed.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yep. I'm sure it's better than Florida and the Texas rolling hills. Or the Blue Ridge Mountains or the coast of California. The beaches of Hawaii.

[Oliver]

Well, I can't really speak on those because I've never seen those.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, great. So we can say this is the best.

[Oliver]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

What do you think this car is.

[Oliver]

Worth, like 10 grand?

[Caleb Hammer]

Do. Do we have it? Why don't you give us the vin?

[Oliver]

I have it, I guess. I did not. I'm sorry.

[Caleb Hammer]

You can't send statements. Can't send. Vince. What the. Who knows? I. I'm sure you have a dramatically negative equity position in this car.

[Oliver]

And the interest rate, 7%.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. It's on the teetering edge of horrendous. Or not horrendous, but it ain't good. I'll tell you.

[Co-host/Commentator]

It's fine.

[Caleb Hammer]

I don't care.

[Oliver]

Do you need the.

[Caleb Hammer]

I know. It's done. It's done. It's done. It's done. We're moving into the checking account. That's all your debt? No student loans?

[Oliver]

No student loans.

[Caleb Hammer]

Good. How'd you do that?

[Oliver]

I paid for school, like, pocket upfront. And my parents helped me, and I lived at home.

[Caleb Hammer]

There's the real answer they wanted me to get.

[Oliver]

They wanted me to get the college degree. So I did. And it still didn't get me a good enough job. And I'm probably blaming the degree on that as well and not myself for like.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, the degree is this job market we have right now. But you are correct because you can build up a little experience after the degree and still pursue good career paths. You're 26 now. You're not 22 anymore. Okay, 265 in this checking account. So I don't know why you can't make minimum depayments, but okay.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Apple Bill, Prime Video.

[Caleb Hammer]

Getting some. What are you stopping in and getting? $2.49. Huh? Where? I don't. Well, this one's 365 Market. Was that Whole Foods? I don't remember. But you stopped in and you got something for a couple bucks. So what's that? Ain't groceries. That ain't groceries. What did you get in? What do you stop in and get? Some bullshit. What is that?

[Oliver]

3, 6, 5?

[Caleb Hammer]

What is it?

[Co-host/Commentator]

When you stop in and get some.

[Oliver]

Bullshit, what is it, like a coffee or like coke or like food or like.

[Caleb Hammer]

What a joke, buddy. First of all, make your coffee at home.

[Oliver]

I do.

[Caleb Hammer]

It's cheaper. Well, you better. And now make your energy drinks at home too. Instead of getting your Coke stuff. They have a cola version. They have all the flavors. It's really Good. It's gamer subs. 25 cents a serving, 10% off. Link in the description below or get your free samples with code. Caleb. Energy drinks at home. Coffee at home. No more going in against the. And it tastes better too. So what the are we doing? This is so stupid. Amc. Amc.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Apple Bell.

[Caleb Hammer]

Apple Bell. I'm okay with Google one.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Fandango Prime Video went in and got some bullshit. Make your energy drink at home. Make your pop at home. Apple Bill. Going in.

[Caleb Hammer]

Getting some bs.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Apple Bill. Xbox.

[Caleb Hammer]

New from Mart.

[Oliver]

I don't know what that is.

[Caleb Hammer]

Council Blufford. Council Bluffs.

[Oliver]

Council Bluffs is the Iowa town. It's like on the border.

[Caleb Hammer]

Are you giving them for. I don't know.

[Oliver]

I probably would. Oh, wait. Is it $100?

[Caleb Hammer]

Yes.

[Oliver]

Okay. I got like a ticket from Council Bluffs because they have like chocolate coffee.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Oh, they make heavy at home.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, you don't.

[Oliver]

I do make coffee at home.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Mecca.

[Caleb Hammer]

If you go to Mecca, they will literally throw you off a building.

[Oliver]

Where's Mecca?

[Co-host/Commentator]

Cash app. McDonald's going in and getting some bullshit.

[Caleb Hammer]

Getting some BS vapor maven. Yeah, of course. What's wrong with you people? I really don't understand. Kohl's Burger King. You're all the same. Kohl's Burger King, fandango again. Revival house.

[Co-host/Commentator]

You're spending so much on bullshit.

[Caleb Hammer]

Going in and getting some BS Venuing out money. Probably paying to get railed. Venuing out money. Stopping in and getting some BS Prime Video. McDonald's. Pull up your phone. Dick. Pull up your phone, Dick. Dick. Pull up your phone.

[Oliver]

What do you Want to see?

[Caleb Hammer]

65 cents in servings. I will select what I want to see.

[Oliver]

All right.

[Caleb Hammer]

65 cents.

[Co-host/Commentator]

I'm not going through your photos.

[Caleb Hammer]

Trust me, I'm not an idiot.

[Oliver]

There's a hidden album if you want to go see those.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, that's obviously what I just said. I don't want. You know, there is actually a weird double standard here. There really is. There really is. I obviously do not give a that he touched my leg. I don't like who cares? And I don't give a that he's making those jokes, but if I did any of this to a woman, my career would be destroyed. Destroyed. And people aren't gonna give a a about this.

[Co-host/Commentator]

And.

[Caleb Hammer]

And again, I don't either because I'm an adult. Like, who gives a?

[Oliver]

But it's a bad double standard.

[Caleb Hammer]

It's insane. Doesn't mean you should do it, though. I'd probably practice not being a weirdo. Okay, in the cart on Amazon is a desk and chair. You don't need it. Shut the up. You do not need a desk and chair to work from home. There's the Melinda Wand. There's a. I'm sure you're able. You're doing it now already.

[Oliver]

What am I doing working from home? No, I'm not. I'm still working in the office.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay.

[Oliver]

I live your life.

[Caleb Hammer]

What do you think a laptop is? You know what a laptop is?

[Oliver]

They gave me a laptop.

[Caleb Hammer]

There you go.

[Oliver]

And I got a monitor, but, like.

[Caleb Hammer]

I don't have a. I don't give a fuck about that. Nope, don't need it. Put it on your kitchen counter, kitchen table, anything like that. Come on. That's what everyone does. Shut the F up. Keyboard mouse. Coffee machine, Brewing basket. Bullshit. And the Glinda Wand of moronic and dumbassery of stupid. This is so stupid. In the subscriptions. Applecare. I'm okay with that. Apple Music. You can have one of the music things and then icloud. It's not the worst. We did have Apple One Myoq, Apple tv, Apple Arcade, Amazon Photos. What?

[Oliver]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

And Flitch, Self Care, Pet Finch.

[Oliver]

You know what Finch is?

[Caleb Hammer]

Nope.

[Oliver]

It's a self care pet. It's really cool.

[Caleb Hammer]

That's right. I just said it was self care pet. But that did not. You are an actual beast.

[Oliver]

Okay. Did you put your number in there?

[Caleb Hammer]

I would be canceled. I would be so canceled if I was doing this to a woman. I would be destroyed. Our culture is so backwards. Cause you shouldn't be canceled for this. You can be made fun of for this.

[Oliver]

I'm gonna be made fun of for this.

[Caleb Hammer]

Good. You deserve it. But also.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

This message may be shocking to many millennials. If you are one, you might want to sit down. Right now, loads of people are searching the following on low rise. Jeans, halter top, velour, tracksuit, puka shell necklace, disc belt. You likely place these in the dark of your closet in 2004, never to be seen again. But if you can find it in yourself to dust them off, there are a lot of people who will give you money for them. Sell on Depop. Where taste recognizes taste.

[Caleb Hammer]

We should also be able to tell them to shut the up at the same time. Like there is a middle ground here, guys. There's a middle ground. 97 cents in savings. You're a joke. 170 or any balance. 223 in retirement. What a joke. Embarrassment. A sad excuse of a human. Okay, Your income is $2,400. Get these debt minimum depayments if you're actually a adult. $345.11 for the car. The Beyond Repayment Service. $128.72.

[Co-host/Commentator]

NFN.

[Oliver]

NFM.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah. M. Okay. $54 then we have to make 425 to the care credit so that it gets paid off before Deferred interest hits. Quicksilver. 150 probably once you catch up. City double cash. Probably 150 once you catch up, then Discover 150. That is debt. Minimum payment of $1,402.83.

[Oliver]

That's just for debt?

[Caleb Hammer]

Yes. Chunky, chunky. 425. So you pay off the credit before the deferred interest hits. So we honestly probably won't be able to do that and we got to absorb it. So we might have to take it down from 1,400 to $2. $1,402.83 minus 425 and then to the normal $71 minimum payment. So. Or 1,470 or $1,048.83. What's your portion of rent? 6, 80 your portion of utilities. Internet, gas, electric, all that. Good.

[Oliver]

I literally had a book written down with all of this.

[Caleb Hammer]

Come on. It doesn't have to be an exact number. Come on.

[Oliver]

For utilities, 120. Okay, that's my half.

[Caleb Hammer]

Your phone bill.

[Oliver]

My parents pay for that.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, do helium. If T mobile is good in your area, once you are done. Helium, same towers. Yes.

[Oliver]

Okay, I do have T mobile, so.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, there you go. That's a much cheaper version. Same service. Okay. Transportation. Vroom, vroom. Drive, drive. Gas. How much?

[Oliver]

Well, I do live closer to the.

[Co-host/Commentator]

How much?

[Oliver]

Sorry, it's $40 to fill up my tank. I probably fill it up twice a month now, so 80 maybe.

[Caleb Hammer]

Our insurance.

[Oliver]

235Amonth.

[Caleb Hammer]

This is already getting beyond tight. Yeah, $300 for food use. The meal plan that comes with the budgeting class when you take it.

[Oliver]

Oh, someone's pulling up.

[Caleb Hammer]

Take the program and then do the meal plan. It's totally fine. It's based on HEB here, but you're gonna have something similar there. Especially like a Walmart TP fund. Anything else you need to survive? Hundred dollars. I can throw an extra 15 for prep if you need it.

[Oliver]

Hahaha. Medical, health care, like prep? Like HIV prep? Yeah, that was a funny gay joke.

[Caleb Hammer]

I mean, don't a lot of those. Doesn't like everyone take prep these days? Dude, if you're taking. If you're slinging cum on grindr, take prep.

[Oliver]

Hearing you say slinging cum is crazy. Really?

[Caleb Hammer]

I say degenerate shit every 30 seconds of my life.

[Oliver]

Yeah, but like that's almost the most.

[Caleb Hammer]

Normal thing that came out of my mouth today so far.

[Oliver]

I know, but like I'm across from you and like I got the full rage face and everything and you're just like talking about slinging cum.

[Caleb Hammer]

Are you not taking prep?

[Oliver]

I was, but no, I'm not now.

[Caleb Hammer]

You're just not getting any.

[Oliver]

Correct.

[Caleb Hammer]

So you stopped taking it? Yeah, I called it, by the way.

[Oliver]

I stopped taking it before I stopped getting it.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why? I want you to be able to.

[Oliver]

Because it was like it was one of those like self like where you had to like swab yourself. And every time I sent in the swabs, they were like. It was inconsistent. They needed like more of my swabbing and I just like could not figure out how to do it myself.

[Caleb Hammer]

I don't know what the you're talking about, but.

[Oliver]

Okay, well you wouldn't because you're not gay and you haven't.

[Caleb Hammer]

I think people take prep as well But I'm.

[Oliver]

Do you have to like swab all your orifices for that?

[Caleb Hammer]

When I do STDI test.

[Oliver]

You're not taking up the ass, are you?

[Caleb Hammer]

No, but I still take tests.

[Oliver]

You still have to like test that.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, swab.

[Co-host/Commentator]

What?

[Caleb Hammer]

I don't know what you're swabbing.

[Oliver]

They swab your mouth. They swab your asshole. They swab.

[Caleb Hammer]

I've never had an asshole swab. But I do a pee in the cup blood test and then something for my cheek as well.

[Oliver]

Yes.

[Caleb Hammer]

So std. Std, yeah, of course. When we're having fun. Yes, absolutely. Gotta be safe.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Okay.

[Caleb Hammer]

How much for healthcare?

[Co-host/Commentator]

How much? Dude, how much do you spend on.

[Caleb Hammer]

Medical on a monthly basis? Co pays or whatever, therapy? I don't know.

[Oliver]

Well, since I just turned 26, I got kicked off my parents insurance. So now I have the health insurance through my. My new job.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, this is before your HSA is a health savings account. What are you talking about?

[Co-host/Commentator]

Okay, dude. Okay, that get. That gets taken out before your net pay.

[Caleb Hammer]

But I'm saying co pays. Do you have an ongoing thing on a monthly basis that requires co pays?

[Co-host/Commentator]

How.

[Caleb Hammer]

This.

[Oliver]

You're.

[Caleb Hammer]

You're struggling with this question more than anyone ever on the show.

[Oliver]

Let's say like $130.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, 130. Jeez. Okay. I'm assuming that's like therapy and is there a gym?

[Oliver]

No. What? You got something to say about that?

[Caleb Hammer]

Yes. You're fat. Go to the gym.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Gym.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, I'm Gonna put in $30 for the gym subscript. Do you not want to get healthier?

[Oliver]

I do, I do.

[Caleb Hammer]

I do.

[Co-host/Commentator]

There you go.

[Oliver]

I do.

[Caleb Hammer]

And the, the again. The budget friendly cookbook and the meal plan.

[Oliver]

Do you have like a little like workout thingy too?

[Caleb Hammer]

No. But you have what? That's not finance related, but the food part is subscriptions. I will try to do 30. Let's see if it works. Let's try to do 40. Okay.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Pet.

[Caleb Hammer]

Pet food. How much? It's just one cat, right?

[Oliver]

It's one cat. How $40 is a bag?

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. What's the age and health of the cat?

[Oliver]

He is four years old.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. Pet insurance, 50 bucks. Cause obviously you can't afford shit when shit happens. Anything else that needs to be in your budget that I need to take into account before this is done?

[Oliver]

Like the debt to my old bank? Cause I think that went to collections. That 5,000 from the sugar daddy scam thing.

[Caleb Hammer]

Is there a monthly payment on that? That.

[Oliver]

No.

[Caleb Hammer]

How does the payment work back? What have you Talked to them about.

[Oliver]

I'm not paying it. I paid a little bit of it. Like I would go in because they closed my account with them. So I have, I would have to go into the branch and be like hey, here's a hundred dollars towards my closed account that got closed by you guys. And then I stopped doing that because I decided I didn't.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, well we're not really freaking out about collections right now. It's not great but okay, obviously it's holding you back. Your credit it okay, you're underwater on a minimum monthly basis by $453.83 and that's with making your required minimum payments, not the minimum payment that would be needed to pay off the. I mean it's clear that obviously you need to fix your behavior is number one or else there's no point to anything even if you make more money. But number two, it's time to actually look into getting into a career, a career that you like, a career that is dignified, a career that you can, can see a long trajectory on something you can move up the ladder and bring in money. Right now you don't make, you need to make money right now. You're going to go get a second job to be able to at least break even and hopefully start bringing down the debts after you change your behavior. While you're looking for a more full time career position, that's what you're doing. Maybe you take a certification to course careers and something you desire an actual career field that isn't psychology. Psychology is a career field. Not much you can do with just a bachelor degree as far as I know that though you might have to go back. But either way I don't want you to go back and you certainly I don't want you being the person talking to people that need help. I mean come on.

[Oliver]

Okay, you're not wrong. No, I agree.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, I'm not. So you're gonna go make more money right now with a second job. You're gonna bring in an extra minimum 453. I'd bring in an extra 750 bucks. You're gonna work your ass off. You're working 60, 70, 80 hours a week, you're grinding to pay off this debt. And then maybe besides the Subaru and the debt consolidation, maybe you'll be able to pay off the debt in a couple years. But get into an actual career field you like and then change your behavior while you're going through that process and start buckling down, paying down the debt, build up an emergency fund and then you need to catch up on retirement too, because that's going to be heavily delayed going into your 30s and 40s if you continue down this path. But again, all this is broad, easier said than done. None of it matters if you don't change your behavior. So follow the budget we made. Go work a second job right now and start Take some career assessments and take you need to get a better job. There's lots of things that are easier said than done that need to be done right now, but that's those are the things you have to do. Have to do Join us in the post show. We're going to bring in the lesbian and we're going to talk about some more things we I guess there's always extra shit. That's crazy that I find out. It's wild. Let's get the hammer financial score first spending in the budget. You overspent 0 out of 10 debt. You have collections 010 emergency fund. There was nothing in savings or 10 retirement. Retirement? I'm not even considering that anything. 0 out of 10 real estate you have nothing 0 to 10. Actually retirement is a 1 out of 10. Yeah, 1 out of 10 because at least it's there. Hammer financial score 0.5 out of 10 get [e-mail] now click that join button. Join Hammer elite for extra 20 minutes of this episode and every other episode of the Financial Auto Post show and three premium shows posted every single day Monday through Friday. I'll see you guys there. Why are you friends with him? He is a mess.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

I kind of can't get rid of him.

[Oliver]

What has it been like being his friend and watching him, like circling the.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Drain, seeing all the decisions he's made in life? I try to steer him in the right direction, but he just won't go in that direction.

[Hammer Elite Promoter]

Hammer Elite is the best YouTube membership on the platform and I just upgraded it. New dedicated premium shows every single day, Monday through Friday. Join with the link in the pinned comment or description below. This is the best membership you'll ever join and that's a promise.