He Needs To Divorce Her | Financial Audit

Summary

Financial Audit Podcast Summary

Episode: He Needs To Divorce Her | Financial Audit

Host: Caleb Hammer
Guests: Crystal (22) & Dustin (24), Roswell, New Mexico
Release Date: September 15, 2025

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Overview: Main Theme and Purpose

This episode dives deep into the strained financial and personal relationship of Crystal and Dustin, a young couple from Roswell, NM, with a two-year-old son. Caleb performs his signature “financial audit,” investigating not just their dire financial mismanagement but also the tangled, at-risk state of their marriage. The couple’s story becomes a case study in how money issues, poor communication, and unresolved trust problems can intertwine and spiral. Throughout, the conversation ranges from specific budget and debt advice to hard-hitting relationship intervention.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Introductions & Background (00:55–03:15)

• Crystal & Dustin: 22 and 24, one child (2 years old). Stay-at-home mom (Crystal), Dustin works private security ($19/hr) and does side mechanic work.
• Monthly income: Roughly $2,800 for a family of three; struggling to meet basic expenses.

2. Financial Reality Check (03:13–06:26)

• Living "barely,” often unable to cover bills or essentials.
• Discussion about why Crystal stays home vs. seeking employment or using family for childcare support.
• Crystal hesitant to let her son be raised by anyone but herself; Dustin agrees, though both acknowledge financial strain.
• Caleb challenges their assumptions, noting financial stress will affect their child more than occasional family babysitting.

Quote:

"That's about it. Do we?"
—Crystal, on their struggle to make ends meet (03:17)

3. Overspending & Debt Behavior (05:58–07:31)

• Dustin admits to overspending and “not following a budget very well.”
• Notable incident: Dustin withdrew from his 401(k) to pay off Affirm loan (35% interest), only to rack debt back up on similar expenses.
• Caleb criticizes reliance on shortcuts over behavioral changes:

  "Every single time someone takes a shortcut, they immediately build the debt up again because you didn't change any behavior." (07:12)

4. Household Dynamics & Communication Breakdown (07:44–15:19)

• Communication is fraught, with multiple arguments per day, some stemming from even basic decisions like what to eat.
• Crystal feels her input doesn’t matter; Dustin blames her for "shutting down."
• They disagree on budgeting—Crystal creates budgets alone, Dustin ignores them and spends any leftover money.
• Blame game regarding who is in charge of spending money, meal prep, and household responsibilities.
• Ongoing cycle of overspending, particularly regarding eating out (~$800/month).

Memorable Moment:

"Are you blowing money whenever we agree to go eat out? Like, that's about all I do."
—Crystal (12:36)

5. Trust and Compulsive Lying (17:48–26:22)

• Crystal accuses Dustin of being a “compulsive liar” and untrustworthy with money.
• She recounts he introduced himself with a fake name, lies about “any little thing,” and sometimes hides minor expenses.
• Crystal’s distrust also branches into jealousy and insecurity about Dustin’s interactions with women at work.
• Caleb challenges the substance and validity of these accusations, noting a lack of concrete examples.

Quote:

"She can't trust you with Money?"
—Caleb
"Yeah."
—Dustin (17:51)

6. Co-dependency and Relationship Strain (21:24–33:38)

• Crystal expresses feeling "stuck" after having a child with Dustin.
• Host highlights the lack of romance or partnership: “That doesn’t again sound romantic. [...] What is the hope for your future?”
• Ongoing theme: Threats or discussions of leaving the relationship, both partners feeling unappreciated and unsupported.
• Caleb:

  "This relationship's weird, guys. What the—" (16:27)

7. Family Drama and Housing Instability (38:00–47:00)

• Dramatic family history surrounding housing: moved out of original house, into Dustin's childhood home (with extended family drama), almost homeless, ultimately forced back to their original house next to a dispensary.
• Attempts to sell the house for financial security were thwarted by family disputes, particularly with Dustin's uncle.

8. Debt, Credit Cards, and Spending Habits (48:04–74:38 | Major Segment)

• Multiple maxed-out and closed credit cards (Home Depot, Lowe’s, Credit One, Discover, Quicksilver, Capital One).
• $16,000 in bad debt, $92,000 total debt (including mortgage), income of ~$30k/year.
• Frequent late payments and high-interest charges; both avoid responsibility and communication is poor.
• Ongoing spending on eating out, convenience store purchases, and even pet supplies that don't fit their budget.
• Cycle of payday loans/cash advances (Dave app), taking on buy-now-pay-later loans for non-essentials.

Quote:

"If you're managing the finances, here's a little hint–manage them."
—Caleb (72:28)

9. Assistance & Work Disincentive (56:03–62:06)

• Rely heavily on SNAP ($372/mo) and Medicaid.
• Crystal resists working part-time, citing potential loss of assistance and childcare concerns (despite having family help).
• Caleb points out the moral hazard of using assistance to subsidize non-essentials ("the taxpayer is paying for your garden").

Quote:

"You then go do a garden in a gate in a shed. Meaning in reality, with how money is being transferred through...the taxpayers are paying for your garden."
—Caleb (59:21)

10. Future Steps and Recommendations (84:35–End)

• Caleb builds a tight bare-bones budget; they can barely break even if they make “no fun, no eating out” sacrifices.
• Recommends: Dustin consider oil field work (more income), Crystal go part-time, cut spending immediately, and sell the house to pay off debt and reset.
• Couple agrees to consider couples therapy, but cite affordability issues.
• Hammer Financial Score:
  • Overspending: 0/10
  • Debt Management: 1/10
  • Emergency Fund: 0/10
  • Retirement: 0/10
  • Real Estate: 8/10
  • Overall: 2–3/10

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Financial Intensity & Clarity

  "What is your debt situation for your income?"
  —Caleb (73:38)

• On Codependency & Bickering

  "I feel like we bicker a lot, so we just automatically like, tone each other out."
  —Crystal (63:40)

• Blame & Resentment

  “If he won’t change his behavior, then…”
  —Crystal, when asked what she felt hearing Dustin threaten to leave (85:49)

• Food Fights

  “If you tell me what to make you, I’ll make it for you. But I’m not gonna make you something just for you to be like, I don’t want that.”
  —Crystal (70:58)

• On Financial Assistance Ethics

  "That is how that math works. And that is disgusting. Disgusting."
  —Caleb, on using SNAP for groceries so other income can go to wants (60:07)

• On Relationship Dynamics

  "It's a constant cycle. Like he spends, I—"
  —Crystal (86:57)

• On Their “Solution”

  “Go work more in an oil field couple years, pay off debt...sell the house, large down payment in a better area, find new career opportunities.”
  —Caleb (89:55)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 03:13 – “How the are we living on that?” – Reality of their budget
• 07:12 – "Did you weigh the option..." – Cutting 401k to pay off debt
• 12:45 – "How often are we eating out?" – Shock at food spending
• 17:48 – "She can't trust you with Money?" – Trust and lying issues
• 26:22 – Jealousy and accusations – “He has a flirty attitude...”
• 33:30 – Relationship “on the brink,” almost walking away
• 48:04–74:38 – Deep dive into credit/debt, bills, poor spending
• 56:03–62:06 – SNAP, Medicaid, refusal to work part time
• 84:35–86:01 – Discussion of what it would take to improve (selling house, changing behavior)
• 89:55 – Final solution proposal for radical life and financial changes

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Tone and Language

• Caleb: Blunt, confrontational, often vulgar and sardonic, but invested in real solutions.
• Crystal & Dustin: Defensive, evasive, sometimes self-aware but mostly stuck in old patterns. Both shift blame and avoid responsibility.
• Overall Mood: Frustrated, fraught, sometimes comic in dysfunction, but ultimately serious about the potential consequences if nothing changes.

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Conclusion

This episode is a raw, sometimes uncomfortable look at what happens when financial stress collides with immature relationship dynamics and family drama. Caleb does not hold back, exposing both the catastrophic financial habits and the equally dysfunctional emotional landscape. The show concludes with a call for radical change—job shifts, severe budgeting, and possibly couples counseling—lest the couple's finances and family fall apart for good.

Transcript

[A]

To watch episodes of financial audit a week earlier. Check us out on YouTube.

[B]

He's a compulsive liar.

[A]

Flat out. She can't trust you with money.

[C]

That's pretty.

[A]

Why? Where'd the lack of trust come from?

[C]

She has a self image problem. The second she sees me talking to somebody else.

[A]

She's talking about just your co workers.

[C]

If I'm nice to somebody, I'm nice to somebody.

[B]

She was flirting with him.

[A]

Who? Who?

[B]

The worker.

[A]

Was she flirting with you? Yeah.

[B]

Okay. Just like completely switch up on the show.

[C]

I had to sit down after I walked away and said that I can't do this anymore.

[A]

I can't do this anymore in terms of, like, relationship.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Maybe he will go his cowork. The tools to change your life have just been upgraded. Download my budgeting app, rebranded to dollarwise today and start your free trial. Sign up for the annual version and I'll send you my budget friendly cookbook that can't be purchased anywhere else and I'll personally sign it and mail it directly to you. Download the dollarwise budgeting app today and take advantage of your free trial.

[B]

Hi, I'm Crystal. I'm 22.

[C]

I'm Dustin. I'm 24 years old. We're from Roswell, New Mexico.

[B]

And this is financial audit.

[A]

Whenever Colton runs the episode, we always have stripper names, don't we?

[B]

I'm not a stripper.

[A]

I apologize.

[B]

I'm not a stripper.

[A]

No, I love it. No, it's great. Dustin and Crystal. He found himself a stripper, took her home, made her into a nice country girl. It's a classic story. As old as time.

[C]

Oldest time.

[A]

Patriotism. Love it.

[B]

Not really.

[A]

What do you do for a living, Crystal?

[B]

I'm a stay at home mom.

[A]

So you got the stripper pregnant?

[C]

Yes. Very fast. Okay, didn't take long.

[A]

Wait, you're 22? Stay at home mom. Okay, very good. How many kids?

[B]

Just one.

[A]

What's the age?

[B]

He's two.

[A]

Wow. So kid of 20. A little less than traditional these days. That means you better have a nice strong income in Roswell. I don't know what the economic situation is in Roswell. I'll be honest. A lot of the times people are from or at least near somewhere where I have relative economic data that I, you know, can pull from Roswell. I know nothing about Mexico. Not a great state in terms of the state.

[C]

It's up and down. It really depends on just kind of the time of year.

[A]

What do you do?

[C]

So I'm a private security patrol officer.

[A]

What do you make?

[C]

19 an hour on this side, I do mechanic work to try to make up with what I can.

[A]

What comes in on a weekly or bi weekly, monthly basis? Whatever, Whatever you prefer.

[C]

Monthly. If we're, if we're talking just with the security side, that's going to be Pre tax, about 3. Well, post tax, probably like 20.

[B]

25. 25.

[A]

Okay, so 25. And then if we're bringing in what you're doing on the side, what's coming in with that?

[C]

It could be anywhere from 100 a week to 700amonth.

[A]

But what's average? What's normal?

[B]

Let's say like, we'll say like 200.

[C]

We can say on an average about 300amonth.

[A]

Okay, so 2,800 family of three.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

I'm gonna start pulling some analytics, some statistics, but as I do. How the are we living on that?

[B]

We're not.

[C]

Barely.

[A]

Okay, let's have more of an answer than that.

[B]

We make do with what we can.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

That's about it. Do we?

[B]

Well, we try.

[A]

What does making do. No, no, no, no. Tell me, what does life look like?

[B]

Well, we struggled to pay our bills, struggled to be able to even afford like household essentials, you know, but that's where, you know him working, his job's on the side. That money like helps us. But then was family near? Yeah.

[A]

Okay. Do they all work?

[B]

I mean, my mom's a stay at home mom as well.

[A]

Can she not wash the kids? So you can go double this household income like literally immediately?

[B]

Not really, because we don't want to have our son raised by someone else.

[C]

I'm, I'm really.

[A]

Hold on. I. I was very much raised by my parents. However, I was at my grandparents and aunt place Monday through Friday for daycare, including even when I was older, during summer breaks, I was still very much raised by my parents. I don't, I don't consider them to have raised me in the slightest. It's. It's daycare. It's being watched. You're still right. What?

[C]

My wife's been really. How would I put this? Really protective of our son. And so I've, I've made the conscious decision to say that probably we should most likely just have her stay at home so she can watch our son grow and.

[A]

Well, so you're both 100 aligned on that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, stay at home mom's not bad, but the household just can't make bills due. And the meaning the kids going to live in a more stressful environment growing up than Being watched by grandma. Well, I think one's more stressful watching mom and dad argue. Do you guys argue about money?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Okay. I think that's going to lead to a more stressful environment and seeing bills that paid. Listen, I'll tell you why am I a little bit of a. About money? Why am I a little obsessed about money? Why did I focus on money? I saw foreclosure notices on the house. Okay. I saw that. I saw bills not being able to be paid. I saw not being able to do the activities that a lot of other people did or once we did, it was because they put a second mortgage on the home. I saw them bicker about money. It's not good. It's stressful. It turns you into a. You don't want one of me. So that's more important?

[B]

Well, no.

[A]

Than having grandma see the kid a couple of times a week. Couple of times a week. Let's say you have a part time job just to make bills due. Listen, the. In order to live comfortably in Roswell, you know, cost about 28% lower than the US average, 90% lower than the New Mexico average. And actually a standalone in the Metro area suggests $2,430 is enough to be sufficient for what it's worth. Okay. What's going on in the communication of money? What's going on in this relationship? What. What's happening?

[C]

I, I have an issue with overspending or not following a budget very well. I.

[A]

Well, good. Sounds like you know what's going on. Why are you on this show?

[C]

Probably to get yelled at.

[A]

And by the way, this is what happens every single time someone comes in. They say, cuz, oh no, I'm on camera, I'm gonna say the reasonable thing out of the gate. And then all of a sudden we find out what actually happens down the road. But I did hear you actually did do something reasonable that I think we can celebrate out of the gate. I mean, you paid off a firm.

[C]

Yep.

[A]

Which is good.

[B]

Yeah, well actually.

[A]

What is? Well, actually with paying off a firm.

[B]

He took out of his four to pay it off. He completely slated his.

[A]

You consider that when you tell the producers that you paid off a firm?

[C]

I have the, the interest I was getting off of my 401k was less than what the.

[A]

Okay, what happens if you get fired and they call that 401k loan due?

[C]

It wasn't a loan, it was a hardship.

[A]

Wait, you took out, you full withdrew?

[C]

I did.

[A]

What's the interest on the Affirm? It was 35 Are you taking any account that the affirm would be paid off, you know, within a few months? And that is money in the market that would be growing over the course of decades.

[C]

I weighed the options versus what we were having to put out monthly to try to.

[A]

Did you weigh the option of every single time someone takes a shortcut, they immediately build the debt up again because you didn't change any behavior to actually pay it off. All you did was just take money from somewhere else and put it on it.

[C]

I mean, yeah, but we expected to probably change attitudes and adjust.

[A]

Oh, afterwards.

[B]

Which he didn't.

[A]

Which he didn't.

[B]

He's. Tell me he racked up a firm again.

[C]

It was for a valid reason.

[A]

What the do you think is valid? A gay little cowboy hat's not valid.

[C]

Oh, I've had this hat for a while.

[A]

Been gay for a while. All right.

[C]

Sometimes.

[A]

Yeah. He is very Brokeback Mountain esque. All right, So I only say it because you can tell he's offended.

[C]

We had to. My. My bulletproof vest for work ended up pretty much just falling apart on me, so I had to end up.

[A]

Why? You got shot that many times?

[C]

No, it's just that old. I've had it for seven years. Yeah, I had to end up purchasing another vest with plates.

[A]

There will always be something. When you take a shortcut to pay off a debt. There will always be something that pops up that you will use to justify. If that happened, you would have found another way to pay for it. There will always be something that pops up.

[B]

My guy, our ac, also broke down.

[A]

There will always be something that pops up.

[C]

I suppose that's why an emergency fund is there.

[A]

Yeah, that's why one would be there. Is it there?

[B]

No.

[A]

Okay, so what the. What do you say? That's why an emergency fund's there? No. Okay, so what. What is it? What are you. I feel like you disagree on this.

[B]

I mean, he's. He's a problem.

[A]

No, the 401k withdraw.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

What's the conversation around this? Because this is impacting the household retirement.

[B]

I mean, I tell him, like, that's not a good idea. Like, we should find other ways to pay it off. But like, he. He's just so convincing and like at the. In the moment, he's.

[A]

Or manipulative or gaslighting a little bit of all that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Really? I was more just saying that, but.

[B]

Yeah, it just kind of. It's just whatever he says goes. And like, why. I feel like we just. We have conversations over it and then it ends up with us bickering.

[A]

And then how are we having conversations.

[C]

About our finances multiple times a day? Probably.

[A]

No.

[C]

Yeah, most likely.

[A]

Tell me. So just give me an example of a recent one.

[C]

So it could go just from what we're going to eat that day. Like, we could be like, okay.

[A]

And then walk me through that conversation, because that. That cannot lead. How long have you guys been together?

[C]

Seven years.

[A]

How the are we making it another seven if we're doing multiple a day? As little as just what we're doing for food? Go on, tell me, please.

[C]

Sure. So I'll say, hey, let's eat something. And she'll go, okay. And that's all I get. I'll communicate, what do you want? What do you need? What do you want from me? And I'll get absolutely nothing.

[B]

I'll just be like, whatever you want to eat. Because I don't want to, like, upset him.

[A]

Upset? Would he be upset?

[B]

Well, if, like, I said you wanted pork chops for dinner, well, he'd probably be fine with that. But just like, if I say, oh, let's get McDonald's, he's like, again. Or okay, Things like that.

[A]

So she says, whatever you want.

[C]

And half the time it's just, I don't want to answer. I don't want to have to go spend money. I don't want to have to do anything.

[A]

But if it's whatever you want, do you have to go spend money or can you just make food?

[B]

He likes to buy food.

[C]

I do sometimes.

[A]

Like, what's the point then? No, no, no, no. Because you just said you're upset that she says, whatever, because that means you have to spend money you don't want to spend. But if you like to spend money, what talking about? Because I'm trying to talk about what a deflection. You say, hey, I'm hungry. What do you want? She says, oh, whatever you want. And you're like, wow, you making me go spend money. What do you. What? What's the argument there?

[B]

Well, he agrees, and then we go get the food, and then he buys all this, like, large amount of food. And I'm like, you did not need that much food.

[A]

Yeah. It's also not good for you bottoming later. So.

[B]

Yeah, and then it's just like, just constant. Like he does. He makes a decision. I don't agree with it, and I get upset.

[A]

So we can't have a conversation about what we're able to spend.

[C]

And that's about right.

[A]

Do we try to have the conversation?

[C]

I try To.

[A]

Okay, so tell me. Okay, walk me through that. I try to have a conversation first. Sure.

[C]

So I'll try to sit down and say, hey, can we please have a talk? Can we just sit down and communicate about what we need to do here? And I will get her to completely clam up. Completely just shut down.

[A]

Hold on. That. We don't call it that.

[B]

Well, like, I just feel like if I we try and have a conversation, it just leads to nothing because the behavior will continue to carry on so.

[A]

Very different perspectives on this. I try to have a conversation. I try to have a conversation. Nothing happens. What is the. I try to have a conversation from both ends, but nothing happens. What do you try to say?

[B]

I mean, I just try and like, lead to like, we make a budget and I have a sit down, make a budget, list everything down, see how much money is coming in. Yeah. And then like I have like show him.

[C]

Yeah, that's.

[A]

So you don't make a budget together. She makes a budget.

[C]

Correct. And then I look at it after the fact and I usually go, okay, great, that looks fantastic. And then as soon as most of the important bills are paid, if there's any extra money in the account, I tend to.

[A]

So why. Why are you with this entire household? Self confess. Sounds like you're the bad guy. What are you doing, my dude? You try to blame her for saying she doesn't. She's not saying where she wants to go for dinner. But you're the one going to blowing them up.

[B]

Are you blowing money whenever we agree to go eat out? Like, that's about all I do.

[A]

How often are we eating out?

[B]

Probably few times a week maybe.

[A]

But if you're struggling to survive, struggling to pay bills. Self confessed. How are we doing that? $800 going out to eat alone in this last month? How the are we concerned about paying bills if we're blowing nearly $1,000 on that miscellaneous bull? Is almost $400 on top of that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What is going on? Well, that doesn't make any sense. How can we even be fat trusted?

[C]

I. I work overnights, so for me it's. I'm sleeping most of the day, so it's hard for me to want to wake up, try to cook food, stuff like that.

[A]

That happens at any time of the day. Why doesn't. Huh. I'm sorry, your. Your schedule's just shifted. Why does it. How does that change?

[B]

He's.

[A]

I've done nights. I used to college.

[B]

He's driving around a lot and so like, he like doesn't have.

[A]

So whenever he can pack food like a big boy, I mean, yeah, it's.

[C]

Hard to pack food when I don't have time. It's always me waking up late.

[A]

Why isn't she your stay at home mom?

[B]

I take care of her son.

[A]

Take care of him as well. He's going out and making money. Just pack lunch.

[B]

He's really picky as well.

[A]

Well, stop. Eat a little, tiny little bitch. You're 24. Shut the up. And also make food based on his pickiness. Then I don't know if you know his food.

[B]

I like expensive stuff, like meats and stuff. Like, that's what he, like, can be.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

He doesn't like lunch meat. He doesn't like cold food.

[A]

He just said he's down for lunch.

[C]

I'm fine with lunch meat.

[B]

Okay. Just like, completely switch up on the show. It's fine.

[A]

That happens quite often. Yeah. What's the switch up, big guy?

[C]

Not much. It's just. I don't feel like I asked a whole lot. I asked. I asked for just. Just basic toasts.

[B]

No, you don't. Just you asking for briskets and, like, all the kinds of meats.

[C]

I do like meat. I do.

[B]

Like, he's a big meat eater and that's expensive. And, like, I don't like cooking either.

[A]

You're saying it's switching up on the show, though?

[B]

Yeah, because, like, I feel like he doesn't like lunch meat.

[C]

You've never asked. You've never. You've never asked me what. What you'd like me to cook for me for lunch or for anything.

[B]

Well, before his son, like, I remember packing him lunches and, like, I did make lunch, like, sandwiches for him. And like, after a while, he got tired of that and he didn't want that anymore. So I feel like I'm thinking back to that time and, like, he's still tired of that. So I don't know.

[C]

Maybe I'm not. It's just conversations like that don't really come up. It's. It's immediately bring them up. It's immediately shut down. I can bring it up just so.

[A]

You shut down conversations.

[B]

I feel like I don't, but maybe I do. I don't know.

[C]

It's absolutely a shutdown. It's. It's immediate. I try to get through, and then it's, no, I'm already upset because she remembers something from the past and just doesn't let anything go. Whole lot of grudges.

[A]

I will say that is a very lady tendency. I will say we can acknowledge flaws. Right. I mean, there is something that women do tend to bring up things from the past in the middle of a conversation more than men do. Yeah, that is quite common. So, I mean, that's a flaw. If we're trying to have an appropriate conversation, if we're trying to have a more open conversation, does it make sense to bring up something from two years ago for the productivity of that conversation?

[B]

It does, because I feel like we have to. Well, yeah, because I remember things in the past where we've tried and changed and we've brought up conversations, and so many years have passed and nothing has changed, and things are still the same. So I feel like I'm valid in getting upset about that.

[C]

I don't even know what she just said. I, I.

[A]

You don't listen to her.

[C]

Of course I listened to her. I just. I feel like I kind of trailed off.

[A]

This relationship's weird, guys. What the.

[B]

Maybe just a little bit.

[A]

So, baby, a whoopsie baby or intentional baby?

[C]

I feel like it was a little bit of both.

[A]

No, that means it's intentional. Come on. If you didn't care, then you, you were ready.

[C]

I don't regret it.

[A]

Not saying that. I'm asking if it was intentional or an accident.

[B]

I mean, accident turned intentional.

[A]

So the money coming in, who manages it?

[C]

That would be. It'd be her, most likely.

[A]

How do we have two different answers, guys? Just one paycheck that comes in. Well, kind of two from one person, and you say both? He says you. What the. How do I have two answers here?

[B]

So I feel like before we used to. We were doing good, like a few years ago, because he would get his paycheck, he would give it all to me, and I was able to budget it out and put the money where it needs to be. And I feel like after a while of that, he started getting angsty with money. And then he was like, I'm going to try and, like, pay my own bills. So I allowed him to. And so I give him money to pay his bills.

[A]

You give him money from his paycheck to pay his bill?

[B]

Well, he keeps some money, and then he gives me the rest to pay the rest of the bills.

[A]

And you rely on her to pay the bills? I'm so confused. Why are you guys over complicating this with my work?

[C]

It's what I do is she can't trust me with the bill money because I will probably spend. Spend it. And is that true?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Really? Just flat out, she can't trust you with Money?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

That's pretty sick.

[A]

Then how do we get anywhere if there's just a lack of trust? Why? Where'd the lack of trust come from?

[B]

He's a compulsive liar. That's another thing.

[A]

I'm gonna need something on that. That's something heavy to throw out.

[B]

He just lies about any little thing. It could be the stupidest thing ever and he'll, like, lie about it. But he used to be really bad about that in the beginning of our relationship. But still, that's something that, like, just sticks with you.

[A]

Okay, I'm gonna put headphones on him so he can speak a little more openly. Go ahead and take that off, big guy. Yes, sir. Okay.

[C]

Thank you very much.

[A]

We'll give you some tunes. Is he listening to the brokeback soundtrack? Colton gave him the gayest music purchase.

[B]

He's vibing.

[A]

I can hardly breathe when he's pumping deep inside. Oh, I know his head be going up and down every night. No. Okay. Compulsive light. Tell me more. I need to know a lot more about that because that. That is a. That is a heavy thing to throw up.

[B]

The very beginning of our relationship, I met him as his fake name.

[A]

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[B]

He had a fake name whenever we first met. And that's how I.

[A]

Like a dating app.

[B]

No, we met on Facebook.

[A]

What? The kid. And he. What? What?

[B]

Yeah, he had, like.

[A]

That's not a red flag out of the gate.

[B]

Yeah, but, like, I guess. I don't know. I was desperate. I was young.

[A]

You were desperate.

[B]

I wasn't really desperate, but, like, you're not unattractive. Well, thank you, but I don't know. I just feel like I go for toxic guys, I guess.

[A]

Good. And that's what we settled down with.

[B]

Well, I don't know. I feel like I can't, like, get out of it because I tried leaving him once and, like, he just kind of.

[A]

No, no. Tell me about that.

[B]

Okay. So we ended up moving in while we were still in. While I was still in high school. He was already graduated, graduated. He couldn't keep a job. But I move in with him. And after I graduated, I moved out to an apartment with one of my friends, and he just kind of followed me over there. I said we were going to take a break, and he just didn't leave me alone. And then, like, three months later, somehow we ended up getting a house together.

[A]

What do you mean somehow? What the. What happened?

[B]

Well, we ended up getting together. Like, he had me have a. Like a fallout with my friend that.

[A]

He made you have a fallout?

[B]

Well, he didn't make me. He said that he was in the apartment and he heard her talking about me.

[A]

Oh, my God. Oh, he's a drama. Oh, my goodness. Are you sure he wasn't using that as a way to separate you?

[B]

I don't think so.

[A]

I'm not going. Room. No.

[B]

She was as well, and, like, I knew that, so I believe that.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

So I was kind of, like, tired of her side of his, but I was like, I'm going just pick the lesser of two evils. I'm just gonna go with him because, like, he's a partner, she's a friend. Friends can end, huh? Friendships can end, sure. Yeah. So I was like, okay, I'll just stick with him.

[A]

Wow, so romantic.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

True love. Why not? Do you have a kid with that?

[B]

I didn't mean to, but, like, they have.

[A]

Raw dog and dick without protection of pill or. Okay, but what do you think happens when a man comes inside of you?

[B]

Birth control is not cool.

[A]

Cool. Use a condom. Use A pull out. He was literally nutting inside of your vagina. What do you think happens?

[B]

An accident.

[A]

Yeah. Then you go morning after or something like that is going to happen.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

A baby will happen from.

[B]

That's fine.

[A]

Insemination.

[B]

Yeah, that's fine.

[A]

Do you feel stuck now? Maybe.

[B]

Sometimes I feel like now that we have a baby and a family, like, it's like I'm just trying to make it work now.

[A]

That doesn't again sound romantic.

[B]

It is the hope for our future, huh? It is.

[A]

How?

[B]

I don't know, it just. It just is.

[A]

What? Okay, so how often is he lying? Caught lying to you?

[B]

He'll just lie about like, whatever.

[A]

How can you trust anything?

[B]

I mean with like. We made a budget. Okay. Okay. And so we had like $100 or 200 left over and he goes like to a concert or like he was working while he was working at a concert and well, while he's there, like he ends up buying food because, you know, we don't pack lunches and he just doesn't tell me about it. Like he just.

[A]

That a lie or is that he just did it?

[B]

Well, he just kind of.

[A]

Because I mean, I'll go and get lunch after this. Let's say. I'll say the team and I go to get lunch. I don't tell my girlfriend.

[B]

Well, you probably should.

[A]

No, because if that's what your constitution.

[B]

If your finances are together, you should.

[A]

Probably let the other person know every minutiae. Not necessarily. It's more big picture that you agree upon on a monthly basis, then review the budget at the end and then figure out what you need to change big picture on the next monthly basis. It's not him. Listen, I'm not even saying he can afford to go in and get a monster from gas station. I'm not saying he can afford that. But if he does, doesn't he need to communicate? Every single little purchase seems a little. If that's what you're considering big lies, then I'm having trouble believing that he's just a constant liar.

[B]

Well, it's not that but like just lies about other stuff. But like, you have to give me.

[A]

An example then for me to believe you.

[B]

Like, there's just so much that I can't think of anything. They give something, I can't think of anything.

[A]

Come on, you're a woman. You bring everything back from the past, right? Is that what we established?

[B]

I bring up feelings, can remember feelings. I don't remember everything else.

[A]

Okay, so you don't have one example.

[B]

Not that I can think of right off the top of my head.

[A]

I mean, you told Colton he's flirting with other women constantly. That would make it hard for me to trust.

[B]

Yeah, well, tell me. He's. He just has a flirty attitude, so I feel like that's part of it.

[A]

Well, what, what happens?

[B]

Well, you just like, like at work, like he has people he works with and like if a girl talks to him and like he talks back to them, I feel like they just think of it.

[A]

Nice.

[B]

Yeah, he's overly nice. He's too nice. He's too nice to other girls.

[A]

I don't know. I guess there was someone backstage at a concert that you were like, afraid of him or something?

[B]

I don't know. No, that's just me being jealous.

[A]

Okay. I feel like the tone of this is starting to shift from. I don't. I think you're overbearing and a little.

[B]

Maybe a little bit. But I think it's valid.

[A]

Why do you think it's valid? Because it's honestly just a codependency relationship and then you kind of wanting to everything. He can't be nice to co workers. I mean, I'm struggling with that.

[B]

Okay, well, that's besides the fact. That's besides the point.

[A]

I don't know. You said you set him up as he's a compulsive liar. He's this, he's this, he's this. And we bring up examples.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Oh, he went and got a meal without, you know, talking to me first. It's like. Okay, does that mean compulsive liar?

[B]

Well, okay, so I'll tell you this. At work, he was trying to give like one of the passes that he had received for the concert after the fact because he met up with one of his workers that saw him there. So he asked her if she wanted the pass on text before he asked me about it, like, if I wanted it.

[A]

You may have just wanted to gift it to a friend at work. I don't know.

[B]

Okay. But he asked me after she asked.

[A]

Her, like, has he ever cheated on you?

[B]

Okay. No.

[A]

What are we doing here? You're like self fulfilling. No, no, no. You're self fulfilling prophecy in this thing.

[B]

Maybe a little bit.

[A]

Push him into a corner.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Why? If nothing's bad actually happening, then stop projecting that something bad is happening. Because that, that just manifests it in a way.

[B]

Yeah, I don't want that to happen.

[A]

But you're almost doing that.

[B]

Yeah, but I'm trying to work on it.

[A]

Okay. Hey, big Guy, have you ever? Anyone while you've been with her?

[C]

No, absolutely not.

[A]

And that's what I thought. Oh, no, no, you're good, you're good. You can have your. Your hat back.

[C]

Thank you.

[A]

Oh. Apparently she's jealous of a lot of women.

[C]

That sounds about right.

[A]

Why, why do you think?

[C]

Can she put the headphones on so I can say yes?

[A]

What is she, native or Mexican?

[C]

Mexican.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

She has trumpets. She has a self image problem. She's seen some of the exes I've had in the past and I feel like she's had an issue with that.

[A]

Unattractive.

[C]

I know she's not. I think she's beautiful. But I dated a. A model at one point. Didn't last very long.

[A]

But she didn't want to stay in Roswell.

[C]

Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. She left, but.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Well, I guess it was more. Her family moved away because we were both still underage. Underage at that time.

[A]

Go on, keep going.

[C]

But no, she. She has an image, an image problem, I believe, with herself. And so the second she sees me talking to somebody else, as well as possibly some past trauma maybe, I know.

[A]

She'S talking about just your co workers.

[C]

I only, I only talk to one.

[A]

Female says you're overly nice.

[C]

I'm nice to everybody. I mean, I don't see any reason to be rude to anybody. I'm very respectful. Yes or no, sir. That's how I was raised. I mean, if I'm nice to somebody, I'm nice to somebody. If she has a problem with that, she can bring it up to me and I can try to move that behavior. But if she comes at me from a place of you're cheating, I'm just going to say no, because I'm not. If that's as far as it goes, is you're cheating, you're cheating, you're cheating. Where am I supposed to go with that?

[A]

I know, I kind of agree. I'm with you on that part. And then I think she's in the right when it comes to you and your money and just. She can't trust you with money. Now, I think, you know, the micromanagement of every single purchase isn't always going to be the most healthy thing. Sure, maybe a little. When we're trying to get it out of debt. It's important at first when we're changing behavior, but that's also. It's a bit toxic. A lot of codependents. She really made it sound like she's.

[C]

Only.

[A]

Stayed because, oh, now we have a kid. Now. Oh, we moved in together. Oh, we're depending on each other.

[C]

She. She makes it seem that way. And when she's upset and she's arguing that that's exactly how she acts.

[A]

That's what she says.

[C]

Yeah, that's exactly what she says.

[A]

How does that feel?

[C]

It hurts the hell out of me because I feel like in my, in my personal space, I feel like I try really hard. I'm constantly working. And just recently we had a huge argument that almost ended in me just walking away. Oh, I was, I was really, really upset because she constantly badgered me about cheating, leaving her this, that or the other. And it was a situation of I got super tired of working all these extra hours. And so she first, it started with an argument about finances. I'm not making enough. We're not surviving. And I said, okay, I'll. I'll work more. So I picked up extra hours. I did more work on the side as a mechanic. And so I did as much as I could, worked as many extra hours as possible. And now it was an issue of I'm not around enough for my son or my family and I'm not there enough and I'm not this enough. And at that point, I was not sleeping. I was up for 48 hours straight. And it was a constant argument back and forth.

[A]

Ladies and gentlemen, a financial audit. This is one of the most exciting moments in this channel's history. You know, I've been working on building all these educational tools, our budgeting app, all this crazy, crazy stuff over this past year because that is where my passion is. We finally did it and now we put it all into one program called Dollar Wise Central. You get the premium version of my budgeting app. You get the cookbook mailed to you and signed by me. You get to learn about debt, investing, budgeting, real estate, basic beginner stuff, and finance, all the way to the advanced stuff. Collaborated by experts with the lowest refund rate in the industry for a reason. If you are struggling or you want to learn more or you want change your life in any way whatsoever like literal tens of thousands of people have done with our programs, go to Dollarwise.com click that link below. Your life will change. It'll be incredible. And I am here for you with an incredible support team that you can reach at any time. This is a no brainer. Dollarwise.com let's go.

[C]

It was. I felt like I was damned if I did and damned if I don't.

[A]

Does that ever change? That has to just be changing like Couples therapy or something like. Cause they're like. That's a. That's something she says. How often does she. This bring this up? It's like cheating.

[C]

And so cheating isn't very often, but like leaving or not being there enough or just picking an argument for no reason. For me, I feel like no reason is dangerous.

[A]

He's cooped up at home, though, with.

[C]

Kind of tell her to go out. I tell her, like, take her to take our son to the park, go meet somebody.

[A]

Yeah, but it's like. It's not about taking the kid, though. She might need a little away time. Go get her nails done, Whatever she likes to do. I don't know. But I don't know what's in Roswell.

[C]

But there's not a whole bunch. But there's enough to go get some stuff done.

[A]

And that means, you know, maybe you watching the kid or grandma watching the kid? Sometimes.

[C]

Yeah. And I mean, when I'm off, I'm fine with doing.

[A]

How many hours a week do you work?

[C]

If we're talking just my regular job anywhere.

[A]

Just average.

[C]

Come on average, about 80. 80 a week.

[A]

You are not making enough money to justify 80 a week. Okay, okay, you're good. You're good. What the. Why did you just berate him after he was awake for 48 hours of being a cheater and all this stuff? Yes, I know he a Calvin Klein male model once in the past. We know that. Okay, very good. But besides the model who moved away before meeting you, why. He was up 48. He was up 48 hours and you were just. He's always working 80 hours a week. You just berate him, berate him, berate him. And you're like, why? You cheater, you cheater. All this. He almost left in that moment. Why? Why'd you do this?

[B]

Because I forgot to leave out. I left out something important that she was flirting with him.

[A]

Who? Who?

[B]

The worker that he worked.

[A]

Was she flirting with you?

[C]

Yeah, there's been a couple of points of what she's flirted with.

[A]

How do you know? It's flirt.

[C]

Asking for my number when I'm getting off, when we can hang out after work, stuff like that.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that's a. That's crossing boundaries. 100.

[C]

Yeah, and I've said that.

[A]

That's her doing it, not him.

[B]

But she's. I feel like he's entertaining it if he's still talking the number.

[C]

No, absolutely not. But like, I work in a professional setting.

[A]

She has his number.

[B]

Yes, they have texted her if she wanted the pass.

[A]

Oh. Oh, that's the person you texted. Oh, this is massive.

[C]

Like, she's seen the text. She. She knows everything. Like, it's not like I'm doing anything outside of work.

[B]

Offering the pass before me. I had to, like, go in there.

[A]

And like, her over her.

[C]

Say that again.

[A]

Why did you pick co worker over her to send the past to?

[C]

2 hours before I even messaged this girl about the past, I asked if she was interested in the person that the concert was for, and she said, no, she's not interested in anything at all. And so I was like, well, the person there.

[A]

Oh, then that's fair.

[B]

But that doesn't mean I don't want the pass.

[C]

We have too much as it is.

[A]

Oh, guys, this is so messy. What the. Have you guys gone to couples therapy? Is that even an option in Roswell?

[B]

I want to go to couples therapy, and we brought it up together, but he says we can't afford it. And, like, we changed.

[A]

I'm happy. But even, like, a session a month might be worth it.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I told her I'm open to the idea as long as she's willing to, like, work with us a little bit, just until we can get the breathing room.

[A]

The therapist?

[C]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Her. As long as me and her can work through this a little bit longer together as a couple. Because I'm. I swear.

[A]

How close are we to leaving?

[C]

It's. I walked away just the other day, and I had to come back because I was really upset.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

This thing's on the brink. Okay. I didn't know. I didn't know how severe this was. Get into this. Okay. I know that was a long intro, ladies and gentlemen, but I think it's well established now the baseline of this conversation, because that's. That's what I needed to get to the bottom of. Now we can get into these finances and add some context to it. Want to come on the show? Go to calebhammer.com apply. I'd be happy to have you on here in Austin, Texas. What is your household hammer? Financial score. I'm going to count down. 3, 2, 1, and on go. 3, 2, 1, go. I want you guys at the same time to give me a score. 0 to 10, 0 being the worst, 10 being the best of the household. Okay. 3, 2, 1.

[C]

1, 2.

[A]

Okay, now you think it's a little better?

[C]

I. I do think it's a tiny bit better.

[A]

Why?

[C]

Because I feel like even. Even at the end of the month, I still, like, I Still feel like we have a little bit of extra.

[A]

And despite you guys almost missed your mortgage payment.

[B]

What's that?

[A]

You guys almost missed your mortgage payment Sometimes.

[C]

Almost.

[B]

Yeah, this last month. But we always pay it off. Like that's like I've never been late.

[A]

We've never been late, but you've almost been late.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

We're always almost late. We're always almost late, but most of the time also.

[A]

Why are you so insecure? He said you're insecure about your body and looks.

[B]

Childhood trauma.

[A]

What did your mom tell you you're ugly?

[B]

Well, she calls me fatty. Well, she used to.

[A]

Are you fat?

[B]

I guess so. Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

I don't think so.

[A]

From this angle. I don't think so. I'm getting some head shakes now in the back.

[B]

Well, I was a fat kid.

[A]

I'm getting multiple headshakes now.

[B]

I was a fat kid.

[A]

Well, you're not a fat kid. If you want to get your financial score and see where you stand in the world of finances, take the assessment. It is free@caleb hammer.com or dollarwise.com and if you don't want to be like a guest who ends up on the show, make sure you download the dollar wise budgeting app today. Take the free trial. If you like it and you want to save a lot of money, sign up for the annual ver and I'll send you our budget friendly cookbook signed by me, mailed directly to you. And if you want to bundle it with all of our educational products together, you can get that for 80% off by joining Dollarwise Central. Go to Dollarwise.com. let's jump into this. Money. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Big money. Now. Are these like separate accounts? Do we. Are we on? Are we joint on these cards? Where are we? We're like.

[C]

Most are separated, but we do use them together.

[A]

Okay, so whose name is the home depot under?

[B]

Mine.

[A]

Okay. What's going on with this card, guys?

[B]

Bunch of house renovations. Yeah.

[A]

So we're locked. We're just locking in on Roswell. Roswell. Because we're. You're working 80 hours a week for not much money. You meet the income threshold needed for that area. But at 80 hours a week, why is this a place we need to stay in? Because sometimes we just got to make life moves.

[C]

How old were we when we bought it?

[B]

I was. I just turned 19 when I bought that house.

[C]

Yeah, we, we. We own a house together.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's under my name, though.

[A]

Do you guys have to stay in Roswell?

[B]

I mean, that's where family is.

[A]

You're not even. Your kid's not even seeing him.

[B]

He is. He does.

[C]

Sees him almost daily.

[B]

Yeah, I go over there daily.

[A]

Okay. Is there not a larger metro close by?

[C]

Not really, no.

[A]

What does the future hold for business? Ask nine experts and you'll get 10 different answers. Bull market, bear market, rates up, rates down. Everyone's just guessing. Can someone please invent a crystal ball already? But until then, over 42,000 businesses have future proofed their companies with NetSuite by Oracle, the number one cloud ERP that brings accounting, financial management, inventory, HR into one smooth platform. One unified system means one source of truth. So you can make decisions fast instead of digging through 12 different spreadsheets like it's 1998. And with real time insights and forecasting, it's the closest thing you'll get to peering into the future without hiring a sidekick. Close your books in days, not weeks, and focus on what's next. Whether you're making millions or hundreds of millions, netsuite helps you tackle challenges and seize opportunities. And speaking of opportunity, download the CFO's guide to AI and machine learning at netsuite.com hammer the guide is free to you at netsuite.com hammer that is netsuite.com hammer let's get back to the episode.

[C]

Not that's within close range because when.

[A]

You'Re talking one of the four, there are people there.

[B]

Oil field.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Why don't you work on oil? That's money, man.

[C]

I. I've got too many family members that are in their 30s, 40s that are already feeling like their 70s.

[A]

Okay. But what temporarily. I've considered grind it out. Right.

[C]

I considered it, but anywhere.

[B]

Yeah. He's already put so much time and effort anywhere. Yeah.

[A]

Oh my gosh.

[C]

Where's anything so Albuquerque from us like the big capital and I don't even want to live over there. It's about five hours. Yeah.

[B]

There's lic Texas. That's like two hours away.

[A]

Oh my gosh, guys.

[C]

But Texas is worse for security. So security where I'm at packages by Expedia.

[A]

You were made to occasionally take the.

[C]

Hard route to the top of the Eiffel Tower. We were made to easily bundle your trip Expedia made to travel flight inclusive packages are ator protected is. Yeah.

[A]

You're making no money, dude.

[C]

But I, I guess at one point we, we were almost set financially free. So we bought our house and we considered. We bought our house. There was a beauty parlor next door. They sold out. Sold away. And because now that mixed use.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

So now that it's.

[A]

Well, no, no neighborhood in Roswell.

[B]

I mean it's kind of. We were kind of in the middle.

[A]

Moving to Roswell, New Mexico.

[C]

Oh, like zoning. Yeah, zoning is just whatever you want to put there.

[A]

Yeah, I love it. That's how it should be. Let the market decide.

[B]

Yeah. But we were living at the house we bought for a few years. We ended up moving back into his childhood home because we wanted more space for our child to grow in.

[A]

How much space was the other home?

[C]

So our current home is 7,840 square foot and we're moving into roughly 2,200.

[A]

That's fine for a two year old. Too bad. Come on. Come on. You want more space?

[B]

Yeah. You. Yeah, you okay. The kid as well live in that.

[A]

You know how many generational we live in the largest homes ever in human history. What do you think human hand humanity has done for hundreds of thousands of years? Shut the. Come on.

[C]

The house.

[B]

So it's like really old.

[A]

Doesn't mean anything if it's okay.

[B]

Well, I don't know.

[A]

I'm assuming.

[B]

I have a sneaking suspicion that there is probably a mold.

[A]

Oh, good. Sneaking suspicion. That's. Let's pack up and leave.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

How would you get it confirmed?

[B]

Well.

[A]

Oh yeah, no, you just want a bigger space. Shut up.

[B]

Yeah, but that's all it is.

[A]

Well, I thought he was the one that was financially stupid. And you're out there advocating.

[B]

Agreed with me.

[A]

Advocating.

[B]

No, because we moved into his childhood home which was free of rent. So it was rent free. Yeah, we were going to.

[C]

That was the plan. I'll explain this one a little bit easier. We were planning on selling our current home, the dispensary next door to us that moved in. That's why we moved away. Specifically, we don't want our son next door to that because you could smell the constantly like that's not something we want to raise our son around. Not. Not something we're interested in. So we lived in my childhood home for three, four months.

[A]

And that's not next to the.

[C]

Oh, it's not next out in the.

[A]

County ones Next to the weed.

[C]

Okay. Family street.

[A]

Keep going.

[C]

And things were great. We actually got a cash offer from the guy who owned the dispensary to buy our lot out just so he could expand.

[A]

How much?

[C]

A hundred thousand.

[A]

Oh, Roswell. Beautiful. Keep going.

[C]

But that. That was. That was fair. It would have paid off our mortgage, would have paid off all credit card debt and given us a little a Few thousand to just throw away into an account.

[A]

Sure, you would have gone back into debt, but. Yep, go ahead, keep going.

[C]

Yeah, hypothetically, you would have your opinion, but.

[A]

But I've seen what you did with your 401k, your tit. What are you talking about?

[C]

I mean, you never know how things can change with situations. But we lived there for a few months and my uncle was like, hey, your cousin's gonna move in next door because he's bad financially with money, and he's gonna buy a double wide, move into the lot next door to you.

[A]

Okay?

[C]

It was all owned. This big lot was owned by just him. And it wasn't sectioned off into different plots because of a zoning restriction. They had to now kick us out. So he said, hey, you got 30 days to get out.

[B]

Okay, so like two weeks.

[C]

And we explained very, very fast, hey, we are about to close on the sale of this house. We cannot. And at this time, we'd already put into an apartment.

[A]

I don't know.

[C]

It's not viable. Apartments are way too expensive.

[A]

Rent the house, perhaps.

[C]

It's still expensive.

[A]

It is. I'm talking a temporary thing.

[C]

I don't know if we could have afforded it financially.

[A]

Okay, okay, keep going.

[C]

But we got told four weeks to move out. We said we can't do that. Not possible.

[A]

Okay. I don't think it's your choice, but yeah, keep going.

[C]

But then at the end of the three weeks, and this isn't a legal notice, they just sent us a text saying, hey, four weeks, get out. Even though house was in my name? Pretty much. Well, trail. Okay. Trailer, not the land.

[B]

It was in his mom's name.

[A]

Well, the trailer means nothing. It's the land. Okay? What? What? What happened? What are you talking about?

[C]

So we got kicked out and we were homeless for a little bit. Homeless? We had to crash with her mom.

[A]

But you did not. Oh, okay. Yeah. So you didn't. Okay, come on. Yeah. And you didn't sell the house?

[B]

No, we had to move back in there.

[A]

So you're next to a dispensary right now?

[B]

Yes, yes, we're back where we started. But we were putting on that card on the Home Depot. We were also renovating our house and then his old trailer home.

[A]

Renovating a trailer?

[B]

Yeah, it was a bunch of paint to paint the place.

[A]

So you're almost financially secure. And speaking of financial security, we are over the limit by $762 on the home Depot card. Yeah, you. What are we talking about here? All to renovate a trailer yeah, that.

[B]

Got taken away from us, but. Well, we don't live there anymore.

[C]

Yeah, they. They tore the. We lost all that money.

[A]

Why didn't you move it?

[C]

We weren't able to. They gave us no choice.

[B]

It was his mom's trailer, so she ended up selling it to her. His uncle so she didn't have to deal with it.

[C]

Oh, yeah, but it was. It was a situation.

[A]

Where would you put money into someone else's trailer?

[C]

Because it was supposed to come to us. There was a.

[A]

Well, wait until it does, big guy.

[C]

There was a condition in the will that we're supposed to be able to live on that land for as long as we're living there. And then they cut off the sewage and water to that trailer, so we had to move.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Made it unlivable for us.

[A]

Oh, wow. You sent a settlement letter to your uncle over the trouble, and he sent you a cease and desist.

[C]

Yeah, he sent a cease and desist and.

[A]

Oh, my gosh. So not only is your family dynamic. Your entire family, Dan.

[C]

I blew up. I blew up that entire half of the family, and I don't regret it because they've. They've been terrible the entire time. Hell, my aunt tried to pick a fight with her over it.

[B]

Yeah. But that's not why we sent the settlement letter. It's because we had left some of our stuff there, and they ended up taking a bunch of his stuff after telling us to move it out after a certain time, but it wasn't that time yet, and they ended up moving it early. So he ended up calling the sheriffs on them, saying, like, hey, they stole my.

[A]

So messy. Okay, I want to go back to this Home Depot. So this is all renovationable and basically.

[B]

Or tools.

[A]

201 minimum to payment. Tools. Cute tools. Why? How long does this take to pay off if you only do minimums? What's the only do minimums and you don't purchase, which I know you'll purchase. Balance is 6662.458 years.

[B]

Probably like 22, 21.

[A]

Mid-40s. Yeah. Just for the renovation on a trailer that wasn't even yours, right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

$1,000 this year so far in interest. That means it's gonna be like a 3,000. No, $1,300. It's gonna be like. Like almost $3,000 by year end. And interest gone. Dude. That's a month of your income working out 80 hours a week is gone to one card. One. Yeah. The interest rates are insane. The balances are insane. You have Fees. I think we've had two late fees this year. So we're late on these. You're bad.

[B]

Yeah, because I'm the one.

[A]

Are you managing the finances then? If you can't pay your time because you know you have nothing but time?

[B]

Well, no, not necessarily. I forget sometimes. Or he doesn't give me. Or we're behind so we don't have the money at that time.

[A]

Why are we spending 800 going out to eat?

[C]

I didn't know those were ever late. That was never a conversation, bro.

[A]

Why would you never tell him?

[B]

I don't know. He does ask.

[A]

Nah, that's not how that works. Well, what the. If I sit in, sulk on something that, you know, I work, so I never. I should just never tell my girlfriend unless she asks. I should just sit there and pout. No, you talking about what an immature way to live.

[B]

In my defense, I feel like he just wouldn't care. Of course, I get some oopsies. Like, you know, my bad.

[A]

Would he care or is he changing his tune on the show like you said earlier?

[B]

I don't. He probably would, but I feel like it'd be like a. Oh, okay. That's okay. Like, we'll try better next month.

[C]

Well, yeah, of course I'm gonna try and give you positive reinforcement, so.

[B]

I already know the positive reinforcement mess.

[A]

You can use the Fizzcard debit card that builds credit because you guys can't be trusted with a regular credit card. And I'll get you a course career certification for both of you. If you ever move to society and civilization and want a job that makes money, maybe you can do something remote, but probably not. I don't know. Okay.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

This is insane. A lot of them were zero percent interest thing. Some. Some are still at zero, but they're about the. No, they've ended, so. Yeah, they ended this month. And in one day. And three days. Great. Which means deferred interest of about $400 is about to hit this card.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Now you're going to be over the card by over $1,000.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

In three days. All because we can't communicate, because we're not willing to talk, because we're not willing to cut back on spending for fast food, because we're not willing to have a cold deli sandwich for lunch. What are we doing?

[B]

We are willing to.

[A]

The sacrifices that we need to make to do this. It doesn't sound. But you guys haven't done anything. And every time you have the conversation about you, you guys say you just Fight about it. So it doesn't sound like we're willing to. To me.

[B]

We are willing to. We just need to just get our. Together.

[A]

How do we do that? You guys can't talk.

[C]

That's easier said than done. Yeah.

[B]

That's where I feel like a couples therapists would come in handy.

[A]

I agree. So we've talked about couples therapy.

[C]

We have. We've communicated about couples therapy, and we've talked about it. That. And I. I said I'm open to it. I'm perfectly fine with it, but we need to get into a place where we can financially.

[A]

How can we do that if we can't talk about. How can we get to a financial place of affordability if we can't talk about our finances and what is required to cut it?

[C]

That's where we're stuck. That's kind of why we're here, hopefully to get a budget that we can try to stick to.

[A]

I'm also being told the family drama is the worst because Graham is the one who lent them money, you guys, Money for the house originally at 10,000 hours. Never paid it back because she died. But the uncle wants the money back, and that's why the uncle hates you guys.

[C]

I feel like he's just upset because he helped us with the house because she helped us with the house, because I was always there for her when he wasn't. And so I feel like there was a bit of a. More of a jealousy issue there.

[B]

She helped us with a down payment to our house.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

That's so weird, guys. You guys are so weird. Okay, Lowe's. Great. Yeah. Let's have the other store card. Whose name?

[B]

Mine.

[A]

Okay, we owe $1,348.36. Minimum monthly payment of $28. What's the limit on this guy? Okay, it's close. It's close to the limit. Very close. Four years to pay this off. At the. With the minimum, no purchases. I'm very curious to see you not purchase things. We'll see. You want to sell the house, and you'll find a way to spend money on it to renovate it.

[C]

Well, the card's closed, so.

[A]

Oh, thank. Why is the card closed?

[B]

I missed too many payments.

[A]

So it wasn't even from you waking up and trying to mature and better yourselves because you can't manage credit cards. You just miss payment. Miss payment, miss payment.

[B]

So they're like, there's so many to keep track of.

[A]

Auto draft.

[B]

Well, we can't auto because then if we don't have enough in the bank account.

[A]

You can pay something. Listen, what's your earliest date? That a bill. One of the credit card payments is due in the month. The first. And bring the other ones to the first. And then all of a sudden you're up to date. Like whatever one is on the 5th, bring it to the 1st. Pay all of them on the 1st. Pretend like you have to pay on the 1st. Then you'll be fine for the month. Well, so you don't have to think of all these extra little dates that are.

[B]

I can't trust him to not spend the money in the bank.

[A]

I'm being told you're still planning upcoming projects for the house.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, what are we doing? Why?

[C]

She. She really, really wants.

[A]

I don't give a go on she.

[C]

She wants some things added to the house. Like a little front garden area. You got a side gate for the house?

[A]

You.

[B]

It's my son. So he doesn't run into the street.

[C]

That's what parenting's for.

[A]

Yeah, the gate.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He says that's what parenting's for.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I didn't have a gate growing up.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Not gonna walk next door and smoke it.

[B]

You probably will. No, I'm joking.

[C]

But they probably offer it to him.

[B]

Probably. But there's a bunch of crackheads around so they just like walk into our area.

[A]

Did you buy there then?

[C]

It was cheap. It was a cheap house and it's probably half of it.

[A]

Usually cheap for a reason. Yeah, it's fair. Okay, what else?

[B]

That's about it.

[C]

I think I wanted to build a shed in the backyard because we have too much. For how much?

[A]

Guys, we are not spending money on this crap. The gate. I can almost get behind garden. You shed. You. And I know you probably want to install a glory hole too. You listen, it's. We can't spend this money. We don't have this money. You've maxed out all these cards on projects. We do not get more projects. You have no money. You have closed accounts because you're not making your payments because you have no money. There's no money to do this. Why do you get to prioritize your wants instead of getting your household under control for the sake of your kids future.

[B]

Well, it's not like I can't anyway because it's.

[A]

Why?

[B]

Because the credit cards are over limit.

[A]

So give up.

[B]

I mean, no give up.

[A]

Pay them off. Yeah, I don't see you doing that when you're doing projects with money you don't have. So. What are you talking about?

[B]

Well, we can't anymore. So now we can.

[A]

No, there's three scheduled products. You little tit. Yeah, you know you can also you could pay them off by the way, if you let grandma of the grandbaby watch the kid twice a week. You do three, she does two. You work part time.

[B]

If I work part time, it's just gonna mess us up even more because right now we're on, we're on assistance. So then the assistance will be.

[A]

Here we go. Oh, I'm so glad we've set up systems where people aren't willing to work because then they'll lose money from the taxpayer. Great assistance should be taken away if you're able to work your assistance well.

[B]

But then I'd have to work work full time and then that's time away from my cookie.

[A]

The grandma's there, you have the support. You will spend so much time with the kid. What do you guys get in assistance on a monthly basis?

[C]

Roughly 372 in SNAP benefits.

[A]

What? You'll make so much more. What? What's the minimum wage in New Mexico?

[C]

I believe it's minimum wage is 12.

[B]

But then I also. We also have insurance.

[A]

Huh?

[B]

Insurance. We can't afford to buy insurance.

[A]

Yeah. What's the insurance? Through your work situation?

[C]

I could get it, but it's real expensive.

[A]

What's your what, what would it be.

[C]

Monthly for all three of us? I think it's like 700amonth.

[A]

Yeah. Now you'd still be in a subsidized situation. I'll be honest. Like yeah, you might have to spend a little on healthcare, but you'd still get dramatically subsidized at your guys income situation. Because I'm saying work 20 hours a week, you'll bring in an extra thousand dollars a month. That makes up for the SNAP benefits. Times too. The healthcare situation. Yes. You might have to spend may too, but you'll get subsidized. You get an Affordable Care act plan.

[B]

We've looked into it and like figure it out. Like it just seems like.

[A]

I'm sorry, are you?

[B]

No.

[A]

Big guy.

[C]

I think she, she.

[A]

I went through the process for one person once and it took me about five minutes. It's not hard.

[B]

That's why I've looked into it already. And I just looked into it.

[A]

It's five minutes.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What more looking do you have to do?

[B]

None. Because I know it's not gonna work out for us.

[A]

That's not true. I know your guys income.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

Also we give up and we just milk the taxpayer. I'M sorry, that doesn't make sense.

[B]

Well, until my son goes into school, you know, and then I'll go into work whenever he goes to school.

[A]

This doesn't make sense. When you could go work part time. You're choosing not to. You have a beautiful situation where you have a close family that can watch your kid a couple times a week.

[B]

He won't let me work.

[A]

You won't let her do a couple times a week?

[C]

It's not that I won't let her. It's that we have to have. Have to have a reason. We have to have a reasonable plan. That's all I want. I want a reasonable plan where we can figure it out reasonably.

[A]

Okay. Work Monday, Wednesday, Tuesday. Have. And then you're with the kid four days a week, three days a week. As a grandparents, you'll be very much raising the kid. We've. We all went through this. Come on. Do not pretend like this is something special.

[C]

And I will. I will have to fend her because most jobs won't hire for that.

[A]

I know Roswell is a very interesting situation. I don't know the market as well. There's. But I mean, you might just have to go work at the dispensary. You might have.

[C]

She won't. She won't get in.

[A]

I'm kidding. I'm kidding. But whatever you can pick up. Even with the call center online, I can't find any.

[B]

Like maybe.

[C]

What?

[A]

You took a look for that one again? Yeah. You took a look as. I don't believe you about anything. No offense. I know you could work if you wanted to. It won't be perfect. Yeah, watch some other kids. Bring kids over, double up. Why?

[B]

I don't want to watch anyone else.

[A]

Well, I need you to make money. I need you to make money, dude. Plus, SNAP benefits are changing. SNAP benefits are changing with the new bill that was signed in the law.

[C]

No idea.

[A]

How does it impact you guys? Do you know I've got. It adds work requirements. No, but I think it's for households with kids under over five. Maybe.

[B]

Yeah, we'll have to confirm that.

[A]

But things might be changing. I'll take a look because this makes. No offense. I mean, here's the thing, okay? SNAP is there to support you because you're low income. You have a kid, fine. I vibe with that in general. But here's the reality. You then go do a garden in a gate in a shed. Meaning in reality, with how money is being transferred through. Thus the US the taxpayers are paying for your garden because you're using the money that would go to groceries if SNAP wasn't covering it to pay for a garden that you want to do. We are paying for your $800 going out to eat. We're paying $500 for that. That is how that math works. And that is disgusting. Disgusting.

[C]

I can agree with that.

[A]

So premium tax credits, also known as the subsidies in the Affordable Care act, especially adjusted with the American rescue plan in 2021. There's no upper income temporary move to through 2025, so only through the end of this year, there is no upper income limit. But your second lowest cost silver Plan benchmark exceeds 8.5% of your household's modified or drossed income. You guys won't be on Medicaid through New Mexico, but you will be 100% on a subsidized Affordable Health Care act plan.

[B]

But how much would that be?

[A]

You will still make more working part time, 20 hours a week. You will.

[B]

Then.

[A]

I don't make that much. Plus, you'll get a child tax credit regardless. And you guys don't pay taxes.

[B]

So we can't wait till he, like, goes into school.

[A]

Three years. Three years until we conquer any of our finances.

[B]

Like, two.

[A]

Come on. Two years until we. You're gonna just let this sit because you're not paying it off with this.

[B]

Yeah, I know.

[A]

You're gonna go spend food that's subsidized by the taxpayer, going out to eat. So we give you SNAP just so you don't have to work.

[B]

I'm still taking care of my son.

[A]

I know, but you're acting like no one else does this, and you're in a blessed situation where you get to honestly probably stay home four days a week if you want to do and work 3. Come on. That is so blessed compared to what an average household gets to do these days.

[C]

I. I will actually argue with here with you here, Caleb. I. I do want her to be able to stay home with her son every day.

[A]

You're not willing to give up two days a week? I'm not saying three days a week.

[C]

If she could find something remote, that'd be fine. Because it was. Because it was then.

[A]

But come on. Two days, Monday, Tuesday, she can't go work.

[C]

I'm not saying it's not a possibility. I'm saying we need to have something.

[A]

Or you want the debt to sit and then have the child grow up in a financially stressful household, which is going to be much more traumatic than being seeing grandma two times a week. Oh, no. Poor Kid.

[C]

I can't actually argue with that law.

[A]

No, you can't. Because anything else besides that would be from the most extreme level. Oh, yeah, yeah. Let's not go work a part time job when we have Credit one. Literally the worst of the worst credit cards that you can possibly get. Meaning you're the definition of a dis. Just worse worse. Bottom of the barrel financial situation, disgusting situation. Credit one. Whose?

[C]

That'd be mine.

[A]

Yeah, But I won't let her work.

[C]

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[A]

Well, it's at the credit limit. Who would have thought? Oh, no. Beside, it's over. It's over the credit limit. Oh, God, I'm glad we're purchasing when we're going over the credit limit, you dumb tit. Did you know this was over the credit limit? What the is wrong with you?

[C]

I did tell her it was over the credit limit. If she listens or not, that's up to her.

[B]

I can say the same about you.

[A]

Unlock each other. Why don't you guys listen to each other?

[C]

I try to.

[B]

I feel like we bicker a lot, so we just.

[A]

But you didn't listen to one thing she said in this conversation earlier that was on camera. But go on, go on. What were you saying? Rose or Crystal. What do we call it? Crystal. Whatever stripper name.

[B]

We bicker a lot, so I feel like we just automatically like, tone each other out.

[A]

Right.

[C]

That's a her thing. She likes. She can just turn off noises in her head if she doesn't like them, Buddy.

[A]

There was a part in this conversation where you said you tuned her out.

[C]

I didn't necessarily tune her out. If you listen back to the footage, I would say that I kind of got lost in the conversation. I kind of just lost where we were. I don't even know what she just said.

[A]

You don't listen to her?

[C]

Of course I listened to her. I just. I feel like I kind of trailed off.

[A]

You dumb A little bit.

[C]

I can just turn wrenches. That's about all I'm.

[A]

Yeah, and you should turn wrenches in the oil field. For a couple years. A couple years? Couple years. She doesn't have to get choose, does she? Does she work outside of the house or do you go a couple years in the oil field?

[B]

I have told him to get a better job. Like a higher paying job.

[A]

Yeah, but oil might be the only option in Roswell where it's like just there's not many opportunities about.

[C]

Right. I've tried to go through the sheriff's department. It's just a matter of a fitness exam but everything else is everything else I'm there for. I have, I have all my certifications for all that stuff.

[A]

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[C]

Oil. Yeah, American dream.

[A]

Two years pay down the debt to get to a more financially secure position, maybe get a different house and then figure out career opportunities after that. That and I know you're a wannabe mall cop right now, so maybe you can become a cop. Sure. But.

[B]

That'S what he's aiming towards. Like that's his goal.

[C]

So it's a related field.

[A]

So it's late fee as well. That's what I want. My public safety officers around me pulling me over who has access to a gun, stressed about their finances at home having late fees and a wife that bickers at them thinking they're cheating every moment they step outside. That's what I want. When someone has a gun in a stressful situation. Oh, good. We also got McDonald's and Lunas at Home Depot. Wonderful. Fantastic. $59 minimum payment was incredible at a 30% interest rate.

[B]

What was the Home Depot?

[A]

Yeah, what was the Home Depot?

[C]

The Home Depot would have been for the. I forget what it was, but it was something to fix the house with.

[B]

Makes sense. But I would have thought he had the money to pay outright.

[A]

What do you think was spent last month?

[C]

What do I think was spent last month? Most likely. Can I have a number of what I brought in?

[A]

Yes. So payroll was 1400, ATM deposit. I don't know where it came from. So cash 864. All right. And then cash app was transferred in of a thousand. So what is that? Almost three.

[C]

Okay, so if I'm not considering your.

[A]

Dave cash advance, can't wait for that. So that doesn't count as income.

[C]

That that income from cash app I'm relatively sure was what I send her to pay bills.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Okay, so it was from one of the other accounts in General. Great. So 2,500. 2,500. Cool. What was passing?

[C]

Probably 28.

[B]

Probably like three.

[A]

Yeah, you run the household finances, so you think you would have the cash to then just pay for it, output it on credit one. Also $6,291. You guys, you don't know what's going on. Okay, who's the second credit one?

[C]

That'd be me as well.

[A]

Okay. Did you guys fly here?

[B]

No, no, we drove.

[A]

Yeah, I was gonna say. My goodness. Is there an airport near? Yeah, there's an airport there that goes places.

[C]

It goes to Dallas, Houston. Okay.

[A]

291.38. Yeah. 300 limit. So we're there fees. Oh, the last one was late. By the way. I forgot to even say that $283 of purchases brought us all the way up. Interest will start accruing 30 minimum payment. What are we getting? Oh, I'll tell you. McDonald's also elation, eBay, underground coffee, McDonald's hangry wagon, eBay, hto gamer subs again. And then only to a gay model times three.

[C]

Yeah, sounds about right.

[A]

This one was a lie. Except that's probably the blacked out items. Okay, what the are we doing? That's a disgusting amount of spending on bull. When we don't have money and we're. Sometimes we're almost late on mortgage and we're late on Every other credit card. What are you doing? Dude, what a joke.

[C]

If I have an available budget, typically if I get extremely hungry at work.

[A]

Available budget? You mean available spending?

[C]

Yeah, that's about right.

[A]

On a credit card.

[C]

Yes, sir.

[A]

Okay, then close all your credit cards. You are not a credit person. You cannot manage credit cards to save your life. If you have debt to spend, you will spend it on McDonald's and gamer subs.

[B]

His. He opened those cards and he told me he opened them to build his credit.

[A]

Sure. And that's what everyone says. Okay. Now you close it.

[C]

I'll do my best.

[A]

I'll do my best. How do you. How do you do your best to close it? Can. Can someone walk me through that?

[C]

I believe you're not able to close it until the account is paid zero.

[A]

No, typically not.

[C]

Okay. Because it was like that for my last Concord.

[A]

Well, you'll have to. You have to call and ask. I have to call and ask. The clothes. 12 months just to pay that off. Just your quick little McDonald's takes 12 months to pay off.

[C]

It's food she could have made for me while I was sleeping. For work.

[B]

You eat at home.

[C]

They eat at home for an 11 hour shift.

[B]

Okay. You can make yourself something. Why do you have to rely on me so much that.

[C]

I'm not asking to rely on you. I'm saying you're home for most of the day. You can at least make me something.

[B]

If you tell me what to make you, I'll make it for you. But I'm not gonna make you something just for you to be like, I don't want that.

[C]

Are you gonna make me something or are you not gonna make me something?

[B]

Because you just make you something. If you tell me what to make.

[C]

Okay, fantastic.

[A]

What do you want her to make?

[C]

Just a sandwich. Whatever I decide for that day. Whatever we have in the fridge.

[B]

Sexist, but all right, I'll make a sandwich.

[A]

All right.

[C]

Just don't spin it, please.

[B]

I will not spit on it.

[A]

So you will make a Sammy?

[B]

Yeah, I'll make a sandwich. That's easy.

[A]

You will eat the sandwich and not go out?

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Why do I believe no one? Okay, Quicksilver. Who is this?

[B]

Mine. That used to be a Walmart card. That turned into the Quicksilver.

[A]

Okay, so we owe 3,822 guys. The debt on these balances for your income are insane. Insane. I think it's not a six figure household. This is insane.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

$138 minimum payment. 18 years to pay this off. 28 hours of charges, 39 of fees, $98 of interest. Death. It's at the credit limit. No one's surprised. Litter robot, whisker. Litter robot, whisker. So we got some cats. Great.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Past two feet. $39. There it is. Oh. Not only that, but we've also had multiple this year so far on this card alone. Hey, if you're managing the finances, here's a little hint. Manage them.

[B]

I try to.

[A]

No, you don't. You. Anyone that tries does not. Late, late, late, late, late, late, late, late, late, late, late, late, late, late.

[B]

Because you're late endlessly. Yeah, but it's his fault.

[A]

It's your fault, apparently. Is it your fault?

[C]

I have no idea.

[B]

Give me enough.

[A]

Why don't you give her enough? And why is it give typically? Why is it not just going to do a joint account?

[C]

Because she doesn't trust me with the money.

[B]

Because we had a joint account.

[A]

No, put it in the joint account and then allocate into a separate account for him to spend. Even though you don't have spend anymore.

[B]

We don't have spending money, so he just.

[A]

Exactly. So why are you spending money? You.

[C]

Guess she won't cook for me.

[A]

Oh, you guys. Oh, you guys are so lost.

[C]

Take a chill pill, you.

[B]

It's okay.

[A]

Sniff some poppers. Discover it. Who's this?

[B]

Mine. That was my first card when I turned 18.

[A]

$1,013.33. Oh, it's over the line. That. Guys, guys. What is your debt situation for your income?

[C]

I think we're about 50%.

[A]

Total debt is 92,364. 50%? That is not 50% of your income.

[C]

No, no, no, no. 50% of my monthly is going towards the minimum.

[A]

Oh, we'll see. Dude. Almost six figures of debt.

[B]

Oh, my gosh.

[A]

Six figures of debt making what? $30,000 a year?

[B]

But that includes the house.

[A]

Yes, it includes the house, but bad debt alone is approximately 16,000. That's insane for your income. I don't think you guys even comprehend. $73 minimum payment on this. 4 years to pay this off. Oh, good. If it's not a fee, Good death. Guys, $22 of interest as well. Are you kidding me? Can we not pay one thing on time? Say, guys. Yep, there it is. Late fee. How many have we had this year so far? 2. Interest. $129 this year so far. What are we doing? Manage it. If you're gonna take control, do it. And tell him more money needs to come in.

[C]

Don't tell things in my life.

[A]

Huh?

[C]

Don't throw things at my wife.

[A]

I will. And I'll do it again. Yep. Why not bring more in when she said and don't spend more money when she says do not spend.

[C]

Can you repeat that?

[A]

Oh, he's. Oh, we're gonna hear about an oil fill explosion and takes one to know. That was about a 30 second delay.

[C]

Was it?

[B]

To be fair, those late fees are.

[A]

You're gonna be a, you're gonna. To be fair, a late fee?

[B]

Yes, yes. Because listen, those lapies that like are on the different cards are usually the same month because that month's stressful.

[A]

Oh, you know what? Okay, I, I, I excuse it. I excuse it, guys. The month was stressful. I excuse has been made. You know what? You're right.

[C]

Hell of an excuse.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Hey guys, I'm not making payroll this month. This has been a little stressful.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

What are we. Oh, guys, I think Roswell is like delayed by 10 years when it comes to maturity.

[C]

It's also worse than education.

[A]

Is it?

[C]

It's the worst education in the US State.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, I know. New Mexico's a disaster. Who's the freedom card?

[B]

Mine.

[A]

Okay. I really want to make a budget for you guys and I'm going to. But I'm just wondering, are these payments, Is it even possible? We will find out. $459.32. It's the balance with the forty dollar minimum payment. Oh, good. It's at basically the limit. Oh, good. Extra 83 of purchases. What you do? What you do? What did you do?

[B]

It's just mainly like household expenses like groceries or necessities like toilet paper, shampoo, stuff like that. Diapers.

[A]

It was Walmart.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Hard to see what's at Walmart, but we'll see. What a tip. No missed payments on that card this year so far. Late payments. Okay. Who's the Capital One platinum mine? You are the collector.

[B]

Because I'm the one with the good credit. Yes.

[A]

What's your credit?

[B]

It's, it's bad now, but it's probably like high 500s. Low 600.

[A]

Good credit.

[B]

It used to be good.

[A]

$195 of purchases on here. Nine months to pay this one off. Minimum to payment. $25. Amazon, Walmart, $30 of interest. Interest charging this year so far. What is this? I don't think it's Klarna. But that's after pay. After pay.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Okay. Who.

[C]

That's affirm. So that was.

[A]

Oh, affirm. Who?

[C]

Yes, those are mine. And those are also all paid off. Now due to the. The retirement pool.

[A]

Yeah, but what is it now? Because you put it back up, I.

[C]

Can look for you real quick.

[A]

Yeah, look for me real quick, big guy. Why don't you pull up your Amazon real quick while we're at it.

[B]

I don't think the Amazon charge was mine.

[A]

But do you have access to the same Amazon? Separate Amazons, most likely.

[B]

We don't really use Amazon, so I don't know what the Amazon charge was.

[A]

Okay, just stop.

[C]

It's 210.

[B]

Okay. Here.

[A]

Phone. That's a crazy name. I've never seen a name that looks like that. Apple TV Plus. Yeah, we really don't need that. And Apple TV is great.

[C]

So that's all included in my phone plan.

[A]

Hey, did you pull it up? You did?

[C]

I did. It's 201.

[A]

201. Yes sir. What's your monthly?

[C]

Monthly. So two of them are specifically just pay off in 30 days. And that's a total of 150amonth? No, no. 150 total for the two that I have to pay off.

[A]

Yeah. Oh yeah. Got Satellite Safe, Walmart, ZZ Performance. And you pulled paid it off. We paid off our firm with a 401k. Clara, what are we doing? Who's Klarna?

[C]

That would also be me.

[A]

Oh, what are you getting from ebay, big guy?

[C]

So, because I just got recently promoted to that $19 an hour. I needed a laptop to do a lot of.

[A]

I thought you were gonna say you celebrated and got dildo of your favorite porn star from.

[C]

No, no, I. I got a. I got a laptop so I could try to organize everything a little bit better. I'm in charge of all the maintenance and everything for all the vehicles on top of my current position.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I haven't seen him use that laptop once.

[C]

I use it quite a lot. I do all of my.

[A]

Most of these videos in private. That's why you haven't seen.

[B]

Probably.

[A]

He'S watching some Kyler Moss. Am I right? Am I right, Colton? Am I right?

[C]

I'll ask you for recommendations later.

[A]

Denial is a river in Egypt. Your husband is gay. Okay. Okay.

[C]

So aggressive.

[A]

You ebayed a 200 laptop? Like what the even is that?

[C]

What is the laptop? Yeah, it's a really nice. What brand is it again?

[B]

I don't know.

[C]

Msi. It's a really nice msi. Laptop up.

[A]

Okay. Good luck, Dave. We're cash advancing endlessly on Dave. What do we use Dave for? Henry Wagon all subs. Wendy's, McDonald's, Wingstop vending machine all substacle fellow wieners McDonald's Swift stop getting some ball. All subs Burger King, McDonald's, Arby's Arby's were pay advancing for Arby's. And we know you love the meats. We've established that. All subs 28 Snow Cone DoorDash Baskin Robbins Luna's, Esperanza All Subs Also what.

[C]

Is All Subs also? Gas station. It's a convenience store.

[A]

Okay, you're going in and getting some because it's like a true $2. So you're going in and getting your little monster.

[C]

Whatever you exactly what it is.

[A]

I know I really you Blake's Lotaburger. What are we doing with Dave, you tit? What is Ode on Dave, you tit.

[C]

Right now it's 75, okay?

[A]

And I know you have to pay it to get it back, but sake. 75? That's insane. Now I see a second. Dave. Oh, it's because we're overdrafted into our accounts. Overdraft, Overdraft, overdraft. Also, we could get some bull. And I saw some gamer subs on there too. Big Penguin zero fan?

[C]

No, no, no, no. Not personally.

[A]

It's like his brand.

[C]

No, it's not Schlatt's bland brand.

[A]

Another overdraft upstart loan 762. And it's just on a Google Doc. What is this?

[C]

That. That one's for me. So I had a Concord card that had a. Had a max out of 800 and they would not let me close it. They refused to close it without paying it off. And it was at a 35 interest plus.

[A]

What's the interest rate on this?

[C]

0.

[A]

What's the minimum monthly payment? Zero. For how long?

[C]

Forever. It's a zero? Yeah, it's a minimum of 56. 56 monthly. I pulled out 850 and they charged me 874. 0% interest.

[A]

We made it to the mortgage. What a cheap mortgage. Everyone pack off. Go to Roswell. This is incredible.

[C]

It's not cheap anymore.

[B]

It's not a great.

[A]

What's not cheap anymore to you?

[C]

The. The mortgage. Well, for. For here. I suppose it's. It's a lot cheaper anywhere.

[A]

Remember the cost of living. There's literally 25 below the national average. Okay. $76,244.66. Minimum monthly payment of. Get ready for this mortgage. Minimum payment, everyone. $640.66.

[C]

And that includes the escrow wild.

[A]

Oh, I know. 3.25 interest rate. That's great. You guys got it in a good time. What's the house worth right now?

[C]

135.

[A]

Guys, change your behavior and then sell it and put that down on another house and go work in the oil field. Change your life. Get in a better position. Get in a better place. There's so. There's so many opportunities here. If you guys didn't just away 21 in this cash app. Wendy's sending it out. Donnie Key Boutique. You guys are spending. So you guys go to E. That was a gift. Moving, Moving money. Okay. In this checking account, 24 started with negative 29.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So we had all the Dave transfers for the overdrafts. Planet Fitness, but. But it was bounced. We bounced Planet Fitness.

[B]

I thought he canceled Planet Fitness and then he didn't.

[A]

No, he still wants to cruise in those showers.

[B]

He canceled it now because after that I made him cancel it.

[C]

Yeah, it's been canceled a while. I was aware that. I thought I'd canceled it. I did not.

[A]

McDonald's vending machine. Cash app, cash app. McDonald's Amazon. Oh, here we go. Domino's, McDonald's got premium pizza. McDonald's tea. Amazon, McDonald's, Domino's vending machine tea Sonic. McDonald's cash app. McDonald's cash app, cash app. PayPal. Cash app, cash app.

[C]

T. Who's going to tea hto?

[A]

I told you you liked penis. Caporo's Whataburger. Doordash. Doordash. Who do you think you are that you can doordash? Who the. Do you think you could argue that you're doordash? Cash app, cash app, Cash app, Cash app. Domino's Cash up swains, Barbecue Swine's Barbecue Eagle vending machine going and getting some Esperanza Me. What an insane, dumb, stupid I don't even see in a savings account. Is there a savings account? I don't f ing know.

[C]

No, there's not.

[A]

All right, well, I'm going to attempt in every way whatsoever to budget this. Here's the reality, though. While I add up these numbers, this is you guys talking in a healthy way. When's the last time you guys had a healthy financial conversation? Please.

[C]

Maybe. Maybe yesterday. For all of five minutes.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Tell me what happened in those five minutes.

[C]

How to sit down after I walked away and said that I can't do this anymore. If we can't sit down and communicate.

[A]

I can't do this anymore. In terms of, like, relationship.

[C]

Yeah, pretty much.

[A]

And thoughts. Because that's brutal to hear.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Maybe he will go. His co worker.

[B]

That's why I was. That's what I'm afraid of.

[A]

Oh, come on. He'll do that if he leaves.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

You're gonna push him away?

[B]

Well, no.

[A]

What did it feel like to hear, hey, I'm gonna leave if we don't fix this? Surprising, because really, after you braid him constantly about sleeping other women, I've constantly.

[C]

Tried really hard to say, I'll leave.

[A]

Huh.

[B]

Usually it's me saying, I'll leave.

[A]

Great. Wonderful. How do you feel during that?

[C]

Really, really painful. And then whenever she calms down, she immediately goes back on a word and pretends everything's fine, like it never existed.

[A]

Yeah. Don't tell a woman to calm down. What else? What? Okay, so you heard he's gonna leave. Why? What was your instant?

[B]

Well, I was like, well, it's basically his fault because if he won't change his behavior, then.

[A]

Oh, that's. That's what you want to tell someone when they say they're gonna leave. It's your fault.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So why'd you say it was his fault?

[B]

Because he won't change his behavior.

[A]

To a certain extent, I do agree. But there is also bullshitter in yours, and you're not going and you're not working.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

There's also the fact that you do not make it a healthy environment for him as well. And it takes two to take a listen. If someone's a breadwinner, that's okay if you want to stay at home and someone's a breadwinner, but you are an equals part of this. And there is a point of like, if the dude comes home after 80 hours a week, he doesn't want to hear, hey, why'd you. Why? Why? The is. Why are you flirting with someone? You're cheating on me again. You're cheating on me again. Oh my goodness, this spending, all this bull. Yes, you need to have the healthy budgetary conversations, but if the dude works nice 80 hours a week, is grinded for barely any money, and just comes home to bull. Bull. Bullshit. Listen, bullshit can happen here and there. Tough conversations are going to happen here and there. But if it is every single moment of every single day, this is not sustainable. And I'm not excusing him going out and cope spending, but I at least understand it. Because he wants to get the away.

[B]

I mean, that's the issue. Like, it's a constant cycle. Like he spends. I.

[C]

That's why I say we need to have a financial reset. We need to sit down, reset, and have a plan in place.

[A]

Minimum monthly payments without the mortgage, $455 rent or. Sorry. Mortgage for 640.66. Utilities all combined, plus Internet. What's that?

[B]

We're looking at probably like 300. Well, yeah, 300.

[A]

300.

[C]

Phone bill, 187.

[A]

If T Mobile's good in your area, I'd switch to helium once these phones are paid off because that's an insane minimum payment for you guys to have gas of room for room, drive.

[C]

Drive roughly 150 to 200.

[A]

I'll do 200.

[B]

Car insurance, that's 167.

[A]

Okay. Food. We'll just allocate snap to it. Okay. So snap goes there. Plus I'll give you an extra 200. So I'll put that in there. Okay. 200 TP find anything else you need to survive, you and the kids? 200.

[B]

For this? Our son and the cats is about 200 every two weeks.

[A]

For what?

[B]

Cat food, cat litter, diapers?

[A]

Well, yeah. Okay. So tv, fun and. Okay, so I'll put for cat food. How much cat food?

[B]

Cat food is probably going to be like. It comes out to like 120.

[A]

Okay. So that should cover that for every two weeks. Medical, health care, anything that happens every two weeks.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Isn't wrong with you.

[B]

We give them wet food.

[A]

You just can't afford it. I'm sorry.

[B]

It's better for them.

[A]

It is. You can't afford it.

[B]

It's better than taking them to the vet for a uti.

[A]

Okay. They're not going to die.

[B]

They can from a uti. They need water.

[A]

Is this. I don't. Okay, give them water.

[B]

I do. On top.

[A]

244 cats. Let's see if it works. I'll put it in medical health care. Co pays. Why not? Anything?

[C]

No, I only pay for dental, which comes out of my check.

[A]

Okay. Subscriptions.

[C]

I've got a YouTube premium.

[A]

$20.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So you can put in pet insurance for the cats.

[B]

No.

[A]

Well, you're not gonna be able to afford anything if they get sick. We would have to budget in Approximately. Probably about 100 bucks because you certainly can't afford an emergency. Anything else that needs to be in the budget that I have not put in yet?

[C]

I don't think so.

[B]

I don't think so. No.

[A]

If you guys follow that strictly, no fun, no going out to eat. You technically break even. $2,729.66. So here's the reality. Go work more in an oil field couple years, pay off debt. Your bad debt. Pay off $16,000. Sell the house, take that, put a Down payment, large down payment in a better area and then find new career opportunities after that. That's the solution. We could probably do that in a year or two years. You're going to go get work in the oil fields immediately or she works outside of the house. That's the reality. You're choosing which one and that's what we do. Your plans are it's pretty simple. Say emergency fund, sell the house. Put a large down payment from the sell of that house towards the new house in a better area. All that good stuff for your kids future. Proof yourself. Sounds like you guys are staying in the town then we work on career opportunities.

[C]

She's. She's afraid to leave family. She's super family oriented.

[A]

Good. That's what I'm saying. You're staying there and I'm. I'm glad. We don't have any car debts.

[C]

Nope.

[A]

Good. Okay. But you have some cars?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, he has a lot of cars.

[A]

A lot of cars.

[B]

Yeah. He's a mechanic so he has project cars. That's basically what. Oh, we drive.

[A]

Okay then I'm. We are gonna. I'm gonna dig into you in the post show about them.

[C]

Oh boy.

[A]

We. We are gonna talk about show because who the are you to have all these when we can take care of the situation that's in the post show because I'm done with this conversation. So that's where we're going from here. Joy and Hammerly description in the below three premium shows posted Monday through Friday. See us in the post show. Want to hear about this Hammer Financial score spending in a budget. You overspend zero out of ten Debt, no collections. But horrible for your income situation. Can't do any better than 1 out of 10 emergency fund nothing. 0 out of 10 retirement.

[B]

Nothing.

[C]

Well you're about 400 now.

[A]

0 out of 10. That doesn't come for anything. 0 out of 10 real estate. @ least you got something there. Good rate, good equity position. Sounds like you can sell it. Sounds like people are interested in general. I'll give you a solid 8 out of 10. Hammer financial score, that's the only thing that is carrying you is going to be rounded up to a 2 out of 3 of 10. Join us for the post show link in the description below. Got to talk about these weird vehicle situations they got going on. In fact I just got a note from the producers that it's gonna be incredibly juicy. I can't wait. See you there.

[B]

Is Roswell like the cheating capital of the United States?

[A]

11 days ago I'm gonna steal your hat. He says, no, Yank. She says, oh, yummy. No, I don't like.

[C]

I flirted like she's, like, 18.

[B]

Sir, you are not helping your case. This girl has ulterior motives, in my opinion. Opinion?

[A]

If you love your lady, you got to shut that down. Elusive Members content. Click the link in the description or pin comment below and watch thousands of hours of extra and uncensored content.