Financial Audit Podcast Summary
Episode: He Needs To Divorce Her | Financial Audit
Host: Caleb Hammer
Guests: Crystal (22) & Dustin (24), Roswell, New Mexico
Release Date: September 15, 2025
Overview: Main Theme and Purpose
This episode dives deep into the strained financial and personal relationship of Crystal and Dustin, a young couple from Roswell, NM, with a two-year-old son. Caleb performs his signature “financial audit,” investigating not just their dire financial mismanagement but also the tangled, at-risk state of their marriage. The couple’s story becomes a case study in how money issues, poor communication, and unresolved trust problems can intertwine and spiral. Throughout, the conversation ranges from specific budget and debt advice to hard-hitting relationship intervention.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Introductions & Background (00:55–03:15)
- Crystal & Dustin: 22 and 24, one child (2 years old). Stay-at-home mom (Crystal), Dustin works private security ($19/hr) and does side mechanic work.
- Monthly income: Roughly $2,800 for a family of three; struggling to meet basic expenses.
2. Financial Reality Check (03:13–06:26)
- Living "barely,” often unable to cover bills or essentials.
- Discussion about why Crystal stays home vs. seeking employment or using family for childcare support.
- Crystal hesitant to let her son be raised by anyone but herself; Dustin agrees, though both acknowledge financial strain.
- Caleb challenges their assumptions, noting financial stress will affect their child more than occasional family babysitting.
Quote:
"That's about it. Do we?"
—Crystal, on their struggle to make ends meet (03:17)
3. Overspending & Debt Behavior (05:58–07:31)
- Dustin admits to overspending and “not following a budget very well.”
- Notable incident: Dustin withdrew from his 401(k) to pay off Affirm loan (35% interest), only to rack debt back up on similar expenses.
- Caleb criticizes reliance on shortcuts over behavioral changes:
"Every single time someone takes a shortcut, they immediately build the debt up again because you didn't change any behavior." (07:12)
4. Household Dynamics & Communication Breakdown (07:44–15:19)
- Communication is fraught, with multiple arguments per day, some stemming from even basic decisions like what to eat.
- Crystal feels her input doesn’t matter; Dustin blames her for "shutting down."
- They disagree on budgeting—Crystal creates budgets alone, Dustin ignores them and spends any leftover money.
- Blame game regarding who is in charge of spending money, meal prep, and household responsibilities.
- Ongoing cycle of overspending, particularly regarding eating out (~$800/month).
Memorable Moment:
"Are you blowing money whenever we agree to go eat out? Like, that's about all I do."
—Crystal (12:36)
5. Trust and Compulsive Lying (17:48–26:22)
- Crystal accuses Dustin of being a “compulsive liar” and untrustworthy with money.
- She recounts he introduced himself with a fake name, lies about “any little thing,” and sometimes hides minor expenses.
- Crystal’s distrust also branches into jealousy and insecurity about Dustin’s interactions with women at work.
- Caleb challenges the substance and validity of these accusations, noting a lack of concrete examples.
Quote:
"She can't trust you with Money?"
—Caleb
"Yeah."
—Dustin (17:51)
6. Co-dependency and Relationship Strain (21:24–33:38)
- Crystal expresses feeling "stuck" after having a child with Dustin.
- Host highlights the lack of romance or partnership: “That doesn’t again sound romantic. [...] What is the hope for your future?”
- Ongoing theme: Threats or discussions of leaving the relationship, both partners feeling unappreciated and unsupported.
- Caleb:
"This relationship's weird, guys. What the—" (16:27)
7. Family Drama and Housing Instability (38:00–47:00)
- Dramatic family history surrounding housing: moved out of original house, into Dustin's childhood home (with extended family drama), almost homeless, ultimately forced back to their original house next to a dispensary.
- Attempts to sell the house for financial security were thwarted by family disputes, particularly with Dustin's uncle.
8. Debt, Credit Cards, and Spending Habits (48:04–74:38 | Major Segment)
- Multiple maxed-out and closed credit cards (Home Depot, Lowe’s, Credit One, Discover, Quicksilver, Capital One).
- $16,000 in bad debt, $92,000 total debt (including mortgage), income of ~$30k/year.
- Frequent late payments and high-interest charges; both avoid responsibility and communication is poor.
- Ongoing spending on eating out, convenience store purchases, and even pet supplies that don't fit their budget.
- Cycle of payday loans/cash advances (Dave app), taking on buy-now-pay-later loans for non-essentials.
Quote:
"If you're managing the finances, here's a little hint–manage them."
—Caleb (72:28)
9. Assistance & Work Disincentive (56:03–62:06)
- Rely heavily on SNAP ($372/mo) and Medicaid.
- Crystal resists working part-time, citing potential loss of assistance and childcare concerns (despite having family help).
- Caleb points out the moral hazard of using assistance to subsidize non-essentials ("the taxpayer is paying for your garden").
Quote:
"You then go do a garden in a gate in a shed. Meaning in reality, with how money is being transferred through...the taxpayers are paying for your garden."
—Caleb (59:21)
10. Future Steps and Recommendations (84:35–End)
- Caleb builds a tight bare-bones budget; they can barely break even if they make “no fun, no eating out” sacrifices.
- Recommends: Dustin consider oil field work (more income), Crystal go part-time, cut spending immediately, and sell the house to pay off debt and reset.
- Couple agrees to consider couples therapy, but cite affordability issues.
- Hammer Financial Score:
- Overspending: 0/10
- Debt Management: 1/10
- Emergency Fund: 0/10
- Retirement: 0/10
- Real Estate: 8/10
- Overall: 2–3/10
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- Financial Intensity & Clarity
"What is your debt situation for your income?"
—Caleb (73:38) - On Codependency & Bickering
"I feel like we bicker a lot, so we just automatically like, tone each other out."
—Crystal (63:40) - Blame & Resentment
“If he won’t change his behavior, then…”
—Crystal, when asked what she felt hearing Dustin threaten to leave (85:49) - Food Fights
“If you tell me what to make you, I’ll make it for you. But I’m not gonna make you something just for you to be like, I don’t want that.”
—Crystal (70:58) - On Financial Assistance Ethics
"That is how that math works. And that is disgusting. Disgusting."
—Caleb, on using SNAP for groceries so other income can go to wants (60:07) - On Relationship Dynamics
"It's a constant cycle. Like he spends, I—"
—Crystal (86:57) - On Their “Solution”
“Go work more in an oil field couple years, pay off debt...sell the house, large down payment in a better area, find new career opportunities.”
—Caleb (89:55)
Timestamps for Key Segments
- 03:13 – “How the are we living on that?” – Reality of their budget
- 07:12 – "Did you weigh the option..." – Cutting 401k to pay off debt
- 12:45 – "How often are we eating out?" – Shock at food spending
- 17:48 – "She can't trust you with Money?" – Trust and lying issues
- 26:22 – Jealousy and accusations – “He has a flirty attitude...”
- 33:30 – Relationship “on the brink,” almost walking away
- 48:04–74:38 – Deep dive into credit/debt, bills, poor spending
- 56:03–62:06 – SNAP, Medicaid, refusal to work part time
- 84:35–86:01 – Discussion of what it would take to improve (selling house, changing behavior)
- 89:55 – Final solution proposal for radical life and financial changes
Tone and Language
- Caleb: Blunt, confrontational, often vulgar and sardonic, but invested in real solutions.
- Crystal & Dustin: Defensive, evasive, sometimes self-aware but mostly stuck in old patterns. Both shift blame and avoid responsibility.
- Overall Mood: Frustrated, fraught, sometimes comic in dysfunction, but ultimately serious about the potential consequences if nothing changes.
Conclusion
This episode is a raw, sometimes uncomfortable look at what happens when financial stress collides with immature relationship dynamics and family drama. Caleb does not hold back, exposing both the catastrophic financial habits and the equally dysfunctional emotional landscape. The show concludes with a call for radical change—job shifts, severe budgeting, and possibly couples counseling—lest the couple's finances and family fall apart for good.