Financial Audit Podcast with Caleb Hammer

Episode: “He Treats His Wife Like A Dog”

Date: November 24, 2025
Guests: Cooper & Shayla from Tyler, Texas

Overview

This episode of Financial Audit takes a deep dive into the financial habits and relationship dynamics of Cooper and Shayla, a young married couple from Tyler, Texas. The discussion is raw, unfiltered, and at times tense as host Caleb Hammer unpacks their unconventional approach to household money management, mounting debts, spending habits, and critical lack of partnership in financial decision-making. The episode’s main theme explores the dangers of financial disengagement within a marriage—especially when one partner has total control, offers an “allowance,” and the other remains passive, uninformed, and unempowered.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Money Dynamic & "Allowance" System

• Cooper is the sole earner (recently lost a high-paying job, new job pays less).
• Shayla receives a fixed “allowance” of $200/week for discretionary spending; all bills are paid by Cooper.
• Shayla had previously asked for a “raise” in allowance when household income was higher but is now reluctant due to a recent income drop.
• Caleb challenges the setup as infantilizing and damaging to partnership:

  “Is she a child? ...Why is it a set amount? ...How is this dynamic?” (01:28–02:08)

2. Employment & Income Instability

• Cooper describes being fired from a lineman job after a crew error resulted in multiple houses sustaining electrical damage (three homes affected).

• Explains that in his dangerous industry, mistakes typically result in immediate termination, regardless of individual culpability.

• Notable quote:

  “If you mess up, it’s over. Like, there’s no second chances.” (02:11)

• Despite the firing, Cooper quickly found another lineman job (industry demand remains high), though pay is now about half his previous income.

• Cooper supplements income by working Fridays as a ranch hand for his father ($203/week after tax).

3. Financial Transparency & Partnership

• Shayla expresses little knowledge or participation in household finances, repeatedly stating she “just lets him take care of it.”

  • She’s on all accounts and has access but chooses not to engage.
  • Caleb points out the risks of this arrangement and criticizes both partners for a lack of accountability.
  • Notable exchange:

    Caleb: “Why aren’t you willing to be a participant, your partner?” (09:35)
    Shayla: “I don’t... that stresses me out.”
    Caleb: “But this doesn’t? ...You have agency!” (11:29–12:51)

• Shayla cannot estimate their total debt and is unaware of loans Cooper has taken.

• Caleb highlights that healthy financial partnership requires open conversation and shared goals, not just permission and passivity.

4. Debt & Cash Flow Problems

• The couple has over $26,000 in assorted debts (credit cards, affirm loans, student loans).

• They have zero in savings and negligible retirement funds.

• Their past annual income was as high as $180K–$200K, but they “have nothing to show for it.”

  • Shayla: “I feel like when you look at the total number, it doesn’t look that bad.” (11:49)
  • Caleb: “It’s $26,941, which honestly doesn’t even match up with how thick this [debt folder] is. That means we have a ton of individual debts and a lot of chaos.” (12:04)

• Cooper’s financial philosophy:

  “She’s never had to worry about anything. Everything’s always taken care of, buddy. The bills are paid.” (10:22–10:28)
  Caleb notes: “People who say ‘the bills are paid’ are usually the ones who have missed payments.”

• Tracking of spending is abysmal. Majority of discretionary income goes to fast food, subscriptions, retail purchases, and impulse buys.

• Frequent use of high-interest debt tools like Cash App and Affirm for everyday expenses—in several spots, Affirm debts at ~36% interest are used for things like bedding, a school laptop, or even grills.

5. House Purchase Plans & Asset Decisions

• Cooper and Shayla plan to buy a $120K manufactured home using an acre of land gifted by Cooper’s parents as collateral.
• They defend the move as being cheaper than renting, believing it will give their two kids space to roam.
• Caleb protests: Manufactured homes are depreciating assets; the plan locks them into illiquid debt and eliminates flexibility; rental options exist and may be safer as they stabilize finances.
  • Memorable moment:

    Caleb: “You’re locking yourself in. I don’t understand...rent gives you flexibility. It’s a little more expensive upfront but...more flexibility which is honestly more worth it at this point.” (22:30)

• They face additional upfront costs (e.g., drilling a well – $25K) financed into the loan.

6. Future Earning Prospects & Aspirations

• Shayla is pursuing an associate’s degree (plans to graduate May 2026) and hopes to become a paralegal.
  • Caleb warns about automation threat to such roles: “If AI can do literally one thing, it’s that.”
• Cooper is interested in project management as a less physical career path, seeking to escape the strain of lineman work.

7. Patterns of Disengagement & Dysfunction

• Caleb repeatedly urges Shayla to advocate for herself and participate in their financial life. Her reluctance is plain:

  • Shayla, on Cooper’s secret Cash App loans: “I hope he pays it off and doesn’t do it again.” (13:01)
  • Caleb: “What are you going to do about it?”
  • Shayla: “There’s nothing I can do. I can’t—” (54:54)

• Even when faced with evidence of reckless borrowing and spending, Shayla fails to assert a stance:

  • Caleb: “Do you get steamrolled in every instance of life?” (55:26)
  • Shayla: “No.” (55:35)
  • Caleb: “Then show me some of it. Have a conversation with your husband about how he is destroying your house.” (56:17)
  • Shayla: “I don’t know what I would say...I’d just tell him to pay it.” (56:36)

• Caleb gives a scathing assessment of their partnership:

  “Your passive rightness... It's not a disgusting quality, but it’s horrendous. It’s going to hold you guys so, so far back.” (56:09–56:16)

• Occasionally, Shayla asserts herself—e.g., vetoing a motorcycle purchase—but says this is rare.

8. Family Influence & Patterns

• Cooper’s father is very financially disciplined and often encourages Cooper to pay off debts; Cooper admits to lying about paying off his truck just to appease his father’s “nagging.”
  • Memorable Post-Show Moment: Cooper calls and confesses to his father that the truck isn’t paid off as he'd claimed. (92:06–92:24)

9. Budget Reality Check

• Caleb dissects their expenses, revealing:

  • Over $1,100 spent last month on eating out and fast food (with minimal home cooking or packed meals).
  • Over $4,000 spent in a month on “complete and utter bull.”
  • Zero emergency fund; financially vulnerable to any minor setback.

• Caleb tries to establish a lean budget, showing they could fix their situation in 12–18 months by addressing the debts and capping spending:

  • Minimum debt payments: ~$1,535/month
  • All necessities—rent, utilities, car payments, insurance, groceries—are doable if discretionary spending is slashed.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Control and Passivity:

  “Why are you incapable of saying any of these words without him saying it for you?” – Caleb to Shayla (00:18, recurring at 56:52)

• On Reckless Debt Use:

  “You made $180,000 last year and you were revolving a $650 Cash App loan endlessly to maintain this bull. This is unacceptable.” – Caleb (52:27)

• On Allowance Dynamics:

  “All the bills are paid, buddy.” – Cooper (00:11, repeated throughout)
  “She gets $200 to pretty much do what she wants with.” – Cooper (00:07, 09:09)

• On Partnership:

  “I don’t need you to manage him...But to be involved—maybe you bring a different perspective...In a healthy dynamic, you can have a conversation, he can bounce things off of you, you guys strive to achieve goals together.” – Caleb to Shayla (13:09–13:46)

• On Financial Goals:

  “What do you want? …Oh, what a joke. What is wrong with you? Not an emergency fund. Not to pay off debt. Not to get a house. Not to retire.” (81:05)

• On Parenting and Responsibility:

  “They did not consent to come into this world. You chose to bring them in. And you’re over… Endless birthday… endless Spider-Man posters… endless plastic bull.” (41:14)

• Summing Up:

  “This is the easiest fix…You can pay this off like this. Don’t get the stupid trailer. Don’t focus on that. Pay off that emergency fund, catch up on retirement and then do what you want with the house.” (90:06–90:40)

Specific Segments & Timestamps

• Allowance and Income setup explained: 00:07–09:09
• Cooper’s job-firing story: 01:44–07:02
• Shayla’s disengagement and passivity: 10:22–14:26, 54:32–57:10
• Debt and cash flow analysis: 11:49–52:27
• House buying plan discussion: 16:54–24:46
• Budget breakdown and spending critique: 79:02–90:40
• Cooper’s confession to his father (post-show): 92:06–92:26

Flow & Tone

The episode is high-energy, sometimes chaotic, and deeply candid. Caleb is blunt, often sarcastic, and uses humor and incredulity to highlight just how dysfunctional the couple’s financial systems and communication are. Cooper is honest, at times defensive, while Shayla remains largely passive and withdrawn, rarely advocating for herself—or their family’s future.

Summary for the Uninitiated

If you haven’t heard the episode:

• The “allowance” headline is real: Shayla gets pocket money from Cooper and has little financial voice or context.
• Both partners admit decades of bad spending habits, but their real threat is passivity and lack of teamwork.
• Despite high past earnings, they have minimal assets, no savings, and escalating debts sustained primarily by takeout, impulse shopping, and a lack of budgeting.
• Host Caleb Hammer is unfiltered and unsparing, driving home the dangers of disengaged financial partnership and how easy it would be for this couple to right the ship—if they could work as a team.

Takeaways

• High income means nothing without conscious saving and shared purpose.
• “Allowance” setups in marriages often breed imbalance and resentment, not security.
• Financial partnership requires both awareness and participation from all parties.
• Minimal, intentional tweaks (slashing discretionary spending, debt payoff focus) would dramatically change this family's future.
• Emotional passivity and poor communication are as dangerous as high-interest loans to household stability.

Hammer Financial Score (End of Episode)

• Spending/Budget: 0/10 (overspending, no tracking)
• Debt: 2/10 (tolerable amounts but bad structure, late payments)
• Emergency Fund: 0/10
• Retirement: 1/10 ($3,600 in Fidelity account)
• Real Estate: 3/10 (land worth $25,000, minimal utility yet)
• Overall Score: 1.5/10

For the full episode and detailed post-show, find Financial Audit with Caleb Hammer on YouTube or your favorite podcast platform.