Financial Audit with Caleb Hammer

Episode: "I F*cking Hate Her"
Date: January 30, 2026
Guest: Liz (38, Pittsburgh, PA)
Main Theme:
A candid, often abrasive financial intervention of Liz and her husband’s chaotic financial situation, with deep dives into debt, spending habits, and household dynamics. The central focus is on the couple’s cycle of debt accumulation, failed plans, excessive spending, and the psychological and relational underpinnings driving their financial malaise.

Episode Overview

This episode features Liz, a 38-year-old marketing professional from Pittsburgh, who joins Caleb for an exhaustive review of her and her husband's finances. Liz lays out her "plan" to fix their financial situation, but quickly faces tough love and relentless scrutiny from Caleb. The discussion navigates through the couple’s massive debt (excluding their mortgage), cash flow problems, repeated spending on non-essentials, reliance on debt consolidations, and domestic habits—highlighted by Liz’s overwhelmed approach and her husband's apparent detachment.

The conversation is far from gentle: Caleb’s trademark brutal honesty drives the episode, offering moments of biting humor and memorable quotes as he pushes Liz for clarity, accountability, and real change.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Income & Domestic Finances

• Liz: $65,000/year as a corporate merchandising officer at a bank.
• Husband: $22/hr as a delivery driver (new job), netting about $1,750 biweekly.
• Combined household income: ~$6,200/month—solid for Pittsburgh’s cost of living.
• Despite this, Liz feels like they're "treading water," attributing it to a cycle of debt and unpredictable expenses (03:06–03:33).

“6200 should be doing pretty well in Pittsburgh. You and the hubby.” – Caleb (03:07)

2. The ‘Grand Plan’ and Its Flaws

Liz’s “multi-step” plan revolves around debt consolidations and building a $5000 emergency fund—eventually. Caleb pushes back hard, highlighting that the “plan” is aspirational, with no room for error, and fails to account for inevitable emergencies:

• Reliance on Nothing Going Wrong:
  Liz admits the plan falls apart if anything bad happens, which, as Caleb points out, is inevitable. (04:06–04:45)
• Consolidations as a Crutch:
  The “plan” includes a consolidation in July and another in 2027. Caleb expresses deep skepticism, noting their persistent overspending would just recreate the debt—kicking the can rather than fixing the root problem. (10:55–11:12, 19:12–19:56)

“Why would you set up a plan that can’t have any flaws happen along the way? … That’s not a plan.” – Caleb (04:12)

• No Meaningful Budgeting Practice:
  Liz creates spreadsheets, but admits they don’t effectively limit spending—she hasn't found a budgeting app that "works properly," which Caleb calls out as an excuse. (15:26–16:10)

3. Insane Spending & Debt

• Last month: $15,970 spent, double the NET income.
• $2150/month routinely categorized as “bullshit” by Caleb—meaning money ousted on avoidable, nonessential purchases (gas station snacks, cigarettes, eating out, subscriptions, TikTok shop, etc.) (06:09–07:08; 13:38–14:49)

Notorious Spending Highlights (quoted from analysis):

• Gas station stops (husband): cigarettes, bottled water, snacks;
• Liz: lunches out, various subscriptions, phone games, random Amazon/TikTok purchases.

"You spent $2,150 on bullshit. That is what’s killing you." – Caleb (13:38)

4. Household Dynamics & Personal Responsibility

• Liz Handles All Finances:
  Husband is described as "not detail-oriented" and "accident-prone," with perpetual workplace injuries.
• Caleb’s Harsh Characterizations:
  Caleb often refers to Liz’s husband in harsh terms (“cuck,” “loser,” “stinky,” “degenerate”), criticizing his smoking, clumsiness, and lack of engagement with the budget. (13:00, 25:55, 27:34, 30:05)
• Liz admits her past privilege and the safety net of parental support, with parents bailing her out repeatedly. (79:00–79:21)

"He handles the finances, yet this is where we are." – Caleb (14:51)

5. Unpredictable Life Events—And Inadequate Preparation

• Husband’s accidents: recent broken ribs, past broken leg, multiple medical bills.
• Major Home Emergencies:
  • New roof ($24,000+), financed with deferred-interest credit, with another $5,100 for unexpected repairs.
  • Faulty plumbing, cat illness (multiple vet bills)—all charged to cards with looming high interest.
• Every event leads to more debt; none triggers lasting behavioral change.

"This only happened in a year. What is wrong with you guys? This is horrendous." – Caleb (48:17–48:24)

6. Repeated Cycles of Consolidation and Kicking the Can

• Balance transfers, personal loans, 401k loans, even borrowing from life insurance policy—all used to juggle old balances, never to truly pay down principal.
• Parental loans ($5,000), chronic minimum payments, and no stable progress evident.

"You cope endlessly… Instead of actually buckling down and taking care of shit." – Caleb (51:20)

7. Plans for Children—and More Red Flags

• Liz and husband have tried for a child for 5 years, contemplating further attempts despite dire finances.
• Caleb highlights the irresponsibility of bringing a child into current circumstances and the lack of contingency planning. (33:04–34:05)

"You’re setting yourself up for complete failure and you want to bring in a kid during that process. That’s a joke." – Caleb (34:06)

8. Exasperating Excuses – and Brutal Honesty

Notable are Liz’s repeated justifications of purchases and delays in tackling spending, each met by Caleb’s blunt admonishments.

“You grew up spoiled, you’re not willing to change your lifestyle at all… and you’re a whiny little victim when you can’t afford groceries.” – Caleb (31:06)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the Plan’s Inadequacy:
  “Why would you set up a plan that can’t have any flaws … That’s not a plan.” – Caleb (04:12)
• On Excuse-Making:
  “You cope endlessly. You look for an escape… That is what you’ve always done.” – Caleb (51:20)
• On Spending:
  “You spent $2,150 on bullshit. That is what’s killing you.” – Caleb (13:38)
• On Husband:
  “He falls and breaks his ribs every three days. What are you talking about?” – Caleb (16:10)
• On Parenting Aspirations:
  “You’re setting yourself up for complete failure and you want to bring in a kid during that process. That’s a joke.” – Caleb (34:06)
• On Emergency Funds:
  “That plan only works if nothing bad ever happens; you just told me he broke his ribs this morning!” – Caleb (12:18)
• On Bailing Out:
  “Mommy and daddy were always there to bail their precious one singular daughter out.” – Caleb (79:00)
• On Budgeting Habits:
  “Spreadsheets don’t matter if you don’t do anything based on it.” – Caleb (18:15)

Important Segments & Timestamps

| Segment | Timestamps | Description | |---------|------------|-------------| | Introductions, Income, Household Overview | 01:03–03:24 | Liz introduces herself; income details, job history | | "The Plan" Critique | 03:29–05:46 | Liz describes plan, Caleb pushes on fragility | | Debt and Spending Breakdown | 06:09–07:08, 19:12–22:03 | $15K+ monthly spend, much on non-essentials | | Budgeting & Apps Excuse | 15:26–17:52 | Liz’s refusal to use budgeting tools, blamed on preference or tech | | Husband’s Spending Habits Called Out | 25:07–26:49 | Gas station splurges, smoking, energy drinks | | Major Home Repairs & Deferred Debt | 39:07–43:13, 74:34–76:38 | Roof replacement, plumbing, all loaded on credit | | Parental Bailouts & Privilege Reflection | 79:00–79:21 | Liz concedes repeated help from parents | | Parenting Aspirations in Crisis | 33:04–35:01 | Attempting children amid dire finances, ovulation jokes | | Hard Numbers & Minimum Payments | 89:13–92:26 | Debt service alone at $1,785/month, only $863 surplus—if all goes well | | Final Reckoning on Scores | 92:28–93:38 | Caleb scores Liz a 2.5/10, matching self-assessment |

Final Assessment & Takeaways

Liz and her husband are in a precarious, unsustainable financial position, not due to lack of income but deeply ingrained behavioral and psychological patterns:

• Repeating cycles of over-spending and debt consolidation,
• Reluctance (and sometimes refusal) to confront or change daily habits,
• Heavy reliance on wishful thinking and external bailouts (parents, future credit),
• Persistent failure to establish a real emergency fund or contingency plan.

Caleb’s prescription:

• No further consolidation unless, and only if, there are at least 2-3 months of strict adherence to a real budget—by both Liz and her husband.
• Open and direct communication is critical: if the couple cannot get fully aligned, any tactical moves will fail.
• The current lifestyle and approach to emergencies practically guarantee eventual bankruptcy or total financial exhaustion—especially with aspirations for a child.

Summary in Liz’s Own Words:
"I know we have enough money... but after paying my mortgage, I only have 50 bucks left. How am I supposed to spend money on groceries?" (21:05)
— a statement undercut by thousands wasted monthly on “bullshit,” as Caleb underscores relentlessly.

Episode Tone

Confrontational, unsparing, cutting—but with undercurrents of encouragement and hope for change.
Liz gamely takes the heat, but the episode stands out for its mix of gallows humor, harsh truths, and the relentless exposure of how the small, daily patterns ultimately drive financial ruin.

“I want to see you do well, but setting you up on a plan that is flawed—that’s going to hurt you—doesn’t make any sense.” – Caleb (50:42)

Recommended for:
Anyone struggling with recurring debt despite respectable income, couples out of sync financially, or listeners needing an unfiltered reality check about where wishful thinking and denial lead with money. This is a masterclass in financial tough love.