I Hate His B*tch Wife | Financial Audit

Summary

---

Financial Audit Podcast: "I Hate His B*tch Wife" — Caleb Hammer

Release Date: July 22, 2026
Guests: April (29), Sebastian (31), married couple from Tyler, Texas
Host: Caleb Hammer

---

Episode Overview

In this episode of "Financial Audit," host Caleb Hammer conducts a raw, sometimes confrontational financial review and relationship deep-dive with April and Sebastian, a couple grappling with debt, low income, and major marital rifts. The conversation explores their problematic financial behaviors, communication failures, emotional struggles, and the role that their side hustles and career decisions play in both their money issues and their marriage. Caleb doesn’t hold back, calling out delusions, accountability gaps, and dangerous patterns, all with his signature mix of sarcasm, exasperation, and tough-love financial advice.

---

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Marital Tension and Recent Separation

• Early admission of a strained marriage and a prior separation:
  • April: "It's been hard to recover since last year." (00:30)
  • Revelation that they separated for 5–6 months and nearly finalized a divorce.
  • Sebastian is still paying off divorce filing costs (24:01).
• Root causes:
  • Mutual feelings of being unheard and unsupported.
  • Lack of teamwork; both feel the other is controlling or combative, not collaborative.
  • Emotional needs vs. practical frustrations are a key tension (see emotional discussion at 32:07).

Caleb: "You were one court date away from actually finalizing the divorce..." (31:07)
Sebastian: "I wasn't feeling listened to, guys." (31:09)

---

2. Income, Employment, and Entrepreneurial Friction

• Income breakdown:
  • April: Server at a new Mexican restaurant, averaging ~$500/week, often working 50–60 hours, but very low hourly.
  • Sebastian: Division 1 (D1) college track coach, takes home ~$2,100/month.
  • Combined income: $4,100/month.
• April’s attempt at a coffee cart business:
  • Four months in, breaking even at best, all startup costs financed on high-interest Affirm loans (over 36% interest).
  • Minimal events booked (~5-6 in 4 months), plans to expand with a "cultural" twist but not significantly different from competitors.
  • Critiqued as a hobby, not a substantial income source.

Caleb: "You haven't made a dime. What are we doing? Okay, so this is pathetic." (14:46)

• Sebastian’s coaching job:
  • Low pay, despite D1 status; somewhat volunteer-esque.
  • Used to Uber on the side but stopped due to single-car household and wear on the vehicle.

---

3. Communication & Control Dynamics

• Budgeting and money management:
  • April manages most household finances, but friction arises over how money is spent and who gets a say.
  • April believes Sebastian claims frugality but makes impulsive purchases.
  • Sebastian restricts April from grocery shopping due to habitual overspending—a point of contention.
• Division of labor in business/home:
  • Sebastian expects April to be more proactive marketing her business; April feels overwhelmed and unsupported.
  • April wants Sebastian to contribute more (especially with social media and logistics).
  • Both perceive the other as controlling; see 05:02–06:21 for their back-and-forth on control.

---

4. Debt, Financial Behavior, and Living Situation

• Debt profile:
  • Significant high-interest debt (personal loans, multiple credit cards, Affirm loan at 36%).
  • Car note with $6k balance, mortgage at $172k, utilities on credit cards.
  • Notable: At least $30,000 in collections from past car repossessions.
  • Poor financial habits: Using credit for groceries, paying bills late (often incurs fees), and “just making it by” strategy.
• Living in a no-opportunity area:
  • Homeownership cited as an impediment to moving for better jobs—mortgage about break-even with home value (no equity).
  • Tyler, Texas, described as a "no opportunity" area by Caleb.

Caleb: "You live in the literal middle of nowhere... you have to move to a place with opportunity. This is pathetic." (84:01)

---

5. Mental Health, Emotional Needs & Relational Disconnects

• April’s depression:
  • Officially diagnosed, struggles with depression, exacerbated by financial and work stress; Sebastian is dismissive, seeing it as an excuse when work gets hard.
• Emotional needs:
  • April wants more affection (kissing, hugs, emotional support), feels Sebastian withholds unless she explicitly asks.
  • Sebastian feels he’s not listened to, that April frames him as the “villain” if he disagrees.
• Sexual/affection dynamics:
  • April: “I'm always having to ask for [affection]” (41:14).
  • Sebastian: “If I see you every single day... I don't think I need to welcome you home like you came back from war with a hug and a kiss.” (41:57)
• Recurring conflict loop:
  • Both feel unheard, unappreciated, and emotionally exhausted.
  • Therapy was attempted, but only two sessions—no lasting improvement.

---

6. Trust Issues, Boundaries, and Suspicion

• Phone and social media transparency:
  • Caleb asks to review their phones, raises eyebrows at Sebastian’s frequent texting/video calls with an international female athlete.
  • Nothing explicitly inappropriate is found, but volume and gender pattern noted as “weird,” contributing to April’s insecurity.
  • April spends 5–6 hours/day on her phone (much of it not business-related); criticized as time that could be used productively.

---

7. Host’s Financial Advice and Tough Love

• Brutal assessment:
  • Caleb bluntly scores them (out of 10):
    • Spending/Budget: 1
    • Debt management: 0
    • Emergency Fund: 0
    • Retirement: 0
    • Real estate: 3 ("at least in the market, but no equity or flexibility")
  • Recommends:
    • MOVE to a better job market.
    • Get real jobs, not side hustles/hobbies.
    • Stop financing “businesses” with high-interest debt until previous debts are handled.
    • Consider bankruptcy only if they can demonstrate changed behavior for at least 3 months.
    • Use actual budgeting tools (Dollarwise, meal prep).
• Key observation:
  • Both guests are “made for each other” in their dysfunction; neither is reliable in crucial aspects (money, communication, self-management).

---

Noteworthy Quotes & Moments

• Caleb (on the futility of the business):

  "This is a hobby. You have a hobby. You have a hobby. And the waitressing isn't doing..." (34:04)

• April (on her depression):

  "I'm, like, always exhausted. I'm mentally exhausted. I'm depressed." (32:19)

• Sebastian (on divorce):

  "Oh, how close? I was all the way in. I was 40." (23:59)

• Caleb (on debt behavior):

  "Why consolidated debt if you're not going to fix your behavior? Cuz then you're just going to end up with double the debt." (79:15)

• Caleb (on the underlying problem):

  "It's the dumbest thing for you guys to argue about. I don't understand." (74:22)

---

Timestamps: Major Segments

• 00:30–07:00: Discussing marriage strain, control battles, and emotional unmet needs
• 07:00–15:00: Job/income details, realities of side hustles and low-wage work
• 15:57–21:21: The coffee cart business, roles & resentment
• 23:59–31:09: Divorce discussion: How close, why it happened, why it didn’t finalize
• 32:19–41:10: Emotional exhaustion, depression, affection issues
• 46:00–49:00: Host scrutinizes Sebastian’s phone and relationships with female athletes
• 53:41–57:28: Household budgeting, power struggles, decision-making
• 73:00–80:36: Detailed accounting of debts, interest, and illogical financial moves
• 84:01–86:00: Caleb’s push: move for better jobs, fix broken financial habits
• 100:54–104:45: Tallying up debts, closing thoughts, and scoring

---

Tone and Language

The episode is unsparing, confrontational, and at times caustically humorous—very much in Caleb’s standard style. The guests are defensive, frustrated, and openly emotional; they bicker frequently and sometimes exhibit a lack of self-awareness regarding their roles in the financial and relationship mess. Caleb is direct, occasionally profane, and does not sugarcoat hard truths.

---

Summary

This episode is a stark, unfiltered look at a couple whose financial chaos mirrors their marital discord. Caleb Hammer’s audit uncovers not just a mountain of high-interest debt and weak income, but a profound communication breakdown and emotional fatigue. Both Sebastian and April are stuck in patterns of blame, avoidance, and unproductive ambition—each supporting the other’s unrealistic “dream job” to the family’s detriment. Caleb’s advice is clear and tough: stop the excuses, fix the spending, get real jobs, and move to where the money is. Otherwise, they’re on a path to financial and relational ruin. Listeners are left with a cautionary tale about the perils of ignoring reality—in life, in love, and in money.

---

“You guys are supporting each other in your lunacy.”—Caleb Hammer (39:06)

Transcript

[Caleb Hammer]

This episode is brought to you by Google Chrome.

[Sebastian]

You think you know a browser, but

[Caleb Hammer]

Gemini and Chrome, that's new. It can help you with practically anything on the web. Like restoring a vintage motorcycle from a

[Sebastian]

50 page restoration block.

[Caleb Hammer]

Or finally break down that long article you've had open for weeks. Gemini and Chrome is here for it, ready to make anything online make sense. There's no place like Chrome. Check responses set up required compatibility and availability. Various 18 plus. To watch episodes of Financial Audit a week earlier. Check us out on YouTube. How's the marriage?

[Sebastian]

Fine.

[April]

I think. It's been hard to recover since last year.

[Caleb Hammer]

What was last year?

[April]

What was last year?

[Sebastian]

You know, we went through.

[Caleb Hammer]

I don't know. Shit, dude.

[Sebastian]

A separation.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, you guys were separated last year?

[April]

If he's gonna be that opinionated on what I'm doing, right or wrong, then be in it. Support me.

[Caleb Hammer]

So she has an official diagnosis and you're just like dismissing it.

[Sebastian]

So if you get diagnosed with something like 15 years ago, does it last forever? I just. I think I speak on nothing but facts and you just speak on all emotions and I can't argue with your emotions.

[Caleb Hammer]

Who's this person from? I'm believing her name.

[April]

But

[Caleb Hammer]

why do you do video calls with her very frequently?

[Sebastian]

Coaching stuff.

[Caleb Hammer]

Merry Christmas in July. I'm in a giving mood, even for you naughty ones. Budget, debt, investing, real estate.

[Sebastian]

All of it.

[Caleb Hammer]

50% off right now. Not sure where you stand. My new and improved Hammer quiz does the dirty work for you. Two minutes and you'll know exactly how naughty or nice your finances look. Plus next steps based on your score. Take the quiz, then take advantage of 50% off and finally fix your finances for good.

[April]

Hi, I'm April. I'm 29 years old.

[Sebastian]

I'm Sebastian. I'm 31 years old.

[April]

We live in Tyler, Texas, and this is Financial Audit.

[Caleb Hammer]

Thanks for coming down to Austin, guys. April, what do you do for a living up in Tyler?

[April]

I'm a server.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, well, yeah, waitress that can make. Yeah, server, waitress. Sure, that. That could make good money depending on the restaurant. I mean, I know. I know some people here. My like favorite sushi places make really good money. But then there's, you know, you could be at Chili's and not. Are you at the Chili's or the nice sushi restaurant?

[April]

I'm in a new Mexican restaurant that. That is just taking off. Mexican's good.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, Mexican's good. It's just usually not a higher priced food place. Meaning you're probably not making as much.

[April]

Okay, but yeah, I'm not making as much, actually.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, what do you make?

[April]

I. About 500 a week, give or take.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why do you look, like, confused and dumbfounded and shocked and concerned and basically every human emotion.

[Sebastian]

Are you sure it's 500 a week? I don't.

[April]

I average. Average 500. I think it's a good average.

[Sebastian]

Are you averaging just the bad weeks? Not all of the weeks.

[Caleb Hammer]

Are you saying she makes more than that?

[Sebastian]

I thought so somewhere.

[Caleb Hammer]

You think so or does she?

[April]

Okay, so here's the thing.

[Caleb Hammer]

Would he know? No, clearly not.

[April]

I handled the finances for the most part. Like, I do the budgeting and stuff, so I'm the one who knows. But I should know.

[Caleb Hammer]

Should know. Why doesn't he know you're the controlling Latina wife?

[April]

Not controlling. We sit down. We sit down.

[Caleb Hammer]

I mean, come on. He can't even look at you. He's afraid of being punished.

[April]

We sit down and we go through our budget together. I give him all the information. Whether it sticks or doesn't. That's outside of my control.

[Caleb Hammer]

Kind of. I mean, depending on you communicate, it's different per individual. If it's not working, maybe you need a different communication style.

[April]

Probably. I don't know. Maybe. So she is controlling better?

[Sebastian]

Yes.

[Caleb Hammer]

You're getting, like, war flashbacks all episode or something.

[Sebastian]

Yeah, like, she. Controlling doesn't listen to me. I just have to kind of.

[Caleb Hammer]

What is she not listening to?

[Sebastian]

How I think money should be spent or things that we can maybe downsize on.

[Caleb Hammer]

And what do you think? What's your opinion?

[Sebastian]

I just think that we have a little too much that we don't need in life in general. Like, I mean, like, in our house, like, we just.

[Caleb Hammer]

What is the person who's trying to be frugal not get a say? Wouldn't that, like, prevent us from being this massive stack of financial documents? If the frugal person had a say, why can't he have a say?

[April]

He's not frugal. He tries to, like, come off as frugal, even, like, when we talk. But then he'll be the one who's, like, also making purchases. So it's pretty backwards.

[Sebastian]

I mean, I gotta buy something, like, but I can't.

[April]

But I can't.

[Caleb Hammer]

So is he the controlling one?

[April]

Yes.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, so, I mean, that was opposite of the, you know, intense Latina energy I was kind of getting in here. So how's he. The control?

[April]

I think we're both fighting for the control. I think that's part of the issue.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why does it have to Be control, not teamwork. What do you mean? So what does the control look like on his side?

[April]

Well, like, he'll. He gets upset at any little thing that I try to do with the money, or, like, it's always a problem, or if I don't listen to how he wants to do things or what he wants to do, then it's a problem. And, like, my opinions on matters of things are not really perceived. Well perceived, well accepted.

[Caleb Hammer]

What does that mean? What happens when you have an opinion? What happens?

[April]

It's not a good one. Okay.

[Caleb Hammer]

And that might be the case. But, like, what happens when you have an opinion, though?

[April]

It gets shut down.

[Caleb Hammer]

He's just shutting her down.

[Sebastian]

Sometimes I'll tell her why it's not a good opinion.

[Caleb Hammer]

You can't even look at her.

[April]

Yo, what's going on? Hello?

[Caleb Hammer]

Because now he just forcefully did.

[April]

No, that's usually how it goes.

[Sebastian]

Because, like, she'll look at me, like, super sad whenever I tell her no, and then I just have to look up at the face and I'm like. And then I feel bad for telling her no or not agreeing with what she wants me to agree with. So sometimes it's just easier if I just look.

[April]

It's not sad, it's mad.

[Sebastian]

Yeah, sometimes you look mad, and I don't like you looking mad. So, yeah. So, like, I'll tell her that it's not a good idea because of X, Y, and Z. Or sometimes I'll just straight up just tell her no and.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. But you go do things whether or not she says yes or no. Is this an understood dynamic of the house that he can just do whatever?

[April]

No.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, then what the. Like, Like, I think.

[April]

What do I do? Well, like, okay, for example, I didn't know that you were going to have to give BLEEP this money, okay, for that trip that you guys took to go to that meet that was completely not told to me. I knew that it was outside.

[Caleb Hammer]

How much was it?

[April]

I don't know.

[Caleb Hammer]

You don't even know the number?

[April]

No, he didn't tell me. He just like, he told me.

[Caleb Hammer]

Was that. Is that a kid?

[April]

Huh?

[Caleb Hammer]

Is that a kid, y' all kid?

[April]

His friend. His friend? No, no.

[Caleb Hammer]

His friend. You're giving friend money?

[April]

No, because how much money? They went. They went on a trip for a competition and you competing in. He's a coach.

[Sebastian]

What does that mean?

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, she said competition?

[Sebastian]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

What does it mean when I say, what are you competing in?

[Sebastian]

That's not what you said, though. You said, what the Are you Competing in.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah.

[Sebastian]

That's two different things, right?

[Caleb Hammer]

No, no.

[Sebastian]

Okay.

[Caleb Hammer]

But now I know you're a coach. She said, yeah. So that would have been your answer, by the way.

[April]

Anyway, so he went on this trip to watch his friend and his athlete compete. I didn't know that he was going.

[Caleb Hammer]

Who are you coaching?

[April]

College athletes.

[Caleb Hammer]

What sports?

[Sebastian]

Track.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, okay.

[April]

So he went to watch them compete. This was outside of his school. That what the school pays for, like their competitions. And then he calls me when he's there and he tells me like, oh, we went to the casino. Good thing I won $100 so I can pay him back for the trip. And I was like, so you going to just gamble?

[Caleb Hammer]

You weren't watching. You weren't cruden.

[Sebastian]

Okay. One was. Multiple things were being covered on the trip, like recruiting, coaching, and there's other professionals there, so it's like I'm learning from them also.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. What grade do you coach?

[Sebastian]

College.

[Caleb Hammer]

Really?

[Sebastian]

Yeah, Division one.

[Caleb Hammer]

Really?

[April]

Yeah. He's really good at it too.

[Caleb Hammer]

And what are you teaching?

[Sebastian]

I don't teach any coaching.

[Caleb Hammer]

Coaching. Coaching. Sorry.

[Sebastian]

Shot put, discus.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, that fits your body type a little more. That makes more sense because I knew you weren't running. Okay. Okay.

[Sebastian]

I mean, there's people like. And you don't have to look exactly like what you do. Right.

[April]

You know what to do.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, I know, but you do fit that mold though.

[Sebastian]

Okay.

[Caleb Hammer]

Shock put, right? Why don't you say. Yeah, I would say versus the renter.

[Sebastian]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, gotcha.

[Caleb Hammer]

You're going to be okay with that?

[April]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

You'll be fine.

[Sebastian]

So hold on. Wait. And so yes, we went to casino, but only went to the casino because I had never went there before. And so whenever you sign up, you get the free play money.

[Caleb Hammer]

What conference?

[Sebastian]

Oh, is the. Are we in, like, do we compete? The Southland.

[Caleb Hammer]

Southland. Southland. That's not sec. That's not. No, that's not Sun Belt.

[Sebastian]

That's not the. It's none of the power forwards. It's like a.

[April]

Still waiting in line again. That's time you'll never get back. Save time and money with stamps dot com. Over 4 million businesses have skipped the line with stamps dot com. Join them to save up to 90% off carrier rates from your computer or phone right now. Print postage for certified mail, registered mail and packages in seconds. Then schedule a pickup right from your home or office for a limited time. Go to stamps.com and use code podcast for a free welcome gift.

[Sebastian]

Taxes and fees apply like a mid major. And there's like, one right below that.

[Caleb Hammer]

Because down here there's Sun Belt, it's below sunbelt, but it's D1, so I wouldn't. Okay. What do you make? Must not be much at that point.

[Sebastian]

Like, I bring.

[Caleb Hammer]

Ah, that makes sense. This is more of a volunteer position.

[Sebastian]

I would say upgraded. Volunteer.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. And are you sure it's D1?

[Sebastian]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

How often do you guys win?

[Sebastian]

Well, all of our sports aren't the best.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, but.

[Sebastian]

So their team is the best out of all of them?

[Caleb Hammer]

Out of all the.

[Sebastian]

Well, we went to regionals, so, like, right before those nationals, there's regionals, and we have athletes that go to regions.

[Caleb Hammer]

Went to regionals. Just went. Okay, very good.

[April]

Didn't you have some athletes win at regionals?

[Sebastian]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

So, like, what do you make, Sebastian?

[Sebastian]

2,400amonth?

[April]

No, it's less than that.

[Caleb Hammer]

Do you want coach making?

[April]

No. Here. The paycheck comes in as 21, I thought.

[Sebastian]

Oh, that 21?

[April]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Are you sure it is D1? Do you even know it's below Sunbelt?

[April]

It's D1. It just sucks. It's shitty pay.

[Sebastian]

Yeah, it's just.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, I. Well, yes, that is true.

[April]

She's saying it's below 24 after taxes. What hits. His account is 21.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, my gosh, guys. How are you surviving on $4,100 a month?

[April]

Busting my ass, burly.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, you're not. You're making even less.

[April]

No. Yes, I do extra stuff. I bring in extra money.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, okay.

[April]

I have two.

[Caleb Hammer]

So now you're making two, so. Okay, yeah, sure. So what's this extra you're doing?

[April]

I'm trying to start up a business.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, that's not doing extra. You're trying to do extra, but. Okay. Who are you coaching for? No pay.

[April]

LOL. No, I'm.

[Caleb Hammer]

You just audibly said LOL, like. Like from your mouth in my head. You're 29. Okay. Me? Yeah. What do you make?

[April]

Well.

[Caleb Hammer]

Or what do you do? What are you trying to do? What the are we talking about?

[April]

Coffee cart business.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, there's definitely no coffee. That's not a crowded market at all. Okay, so what. What's so special about your coffee cart?

[April]

Actually, a lot is special about it.

[Caleb Hammer]

Of course I'm sure. Yeah.

[April]

Yes.

[Caleb Hammer]

What is there vanilla and mocha and

[April]

I should have brought some caramel. No, actually, no. None of that. My bestsellers are Cajeta Crunch. The. Did you call me Cajeta Crunch?

[Caleb Hammer]

What is that?

[April]

So I infuse culture into my coffee. So all of my coffee Kill myself.

[Caleb Hammer]

You infuse culture. No, just tell me what the flavor crunch.

[April]

A cajeta is like caramel, but. But not. It's made with goat's milk, as I said, and it's like burned, so it has deeper flavors.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, great. And your next bestseller?

[April]

Pistachio. Pistachio.

[Caleb Hammer]

I mean, I love it. I get pistachio lattes when it's on the menu. So it's.

[April]

They're yummy.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, it is yummy.

[April]

Yeah. I do a lot. I just do like a different twist to like. What? Well, no pistachios everywhere, but it's different. So my coffee.

[Caleb Hammer]

Does this one burn as well?

[April]

No.

[Caleb Hammer]

Burnt? No.

[April]

Only cajeta is good burnt.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. So what's different about your pistachio?

[April]

Well, so like the coffee that I use, I use cold brew. I make it myself. Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Nowhere does cold group.

[April]

Okay. Everyone does cold brew.

[Sebastian]

Your beans are different.

[April]

My beans? Okay. I get my beans directly sourced from Honduras. I'm Honduran, so I'm bringing my culture into it. It's really high quality beans. I know all other coffee places use high quality, blah, blah, blah. But I do too. And it's catered for experiences like doing event weddings. It's starting.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, see, I'm breaking. So shut the up.

[April]

Okay.

[Caleb Hammer]

Come on.

[Sebastian]

You can't tell someone to shut up when you ask them what do they do?

[Caleb Hammer]

I can do when they give a good answer.

[April]

It's not. That's literally how it works. I literally am starting my business. It's growing. I'm at a point where I'm breaking even. I'm not losing money anymore. Although I still had to pay back money that I did lost. What? No.

[Caleb Hammer]

What?

[April]

What?

[Caleb Hammer]

No, Tell me what.

[April]

So like I took out like a firm in order to invest.

[Caleb Hammer]

Firmed for your business.

[April]

What else was I going to do?

[Caleb Hammer]

Small business loan. Oh, you. Oh my goodness. That's insane. Affirming your startup costs is crazy.

[April]

But it wasn't that. It wasn't that much. It's not like I'm starting up.

[Caleb Hammer]

How much?

[April]

2,000.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. I mean, that's a lot of money to be putting on a firm when that shit can accrue at like a 35% interest depending on what you got. This stack of paperwork is huge. You guys make no money, so you can't even tell me you're making money from this, right? You're special. Honduras Potassio pistachio. You will. Great. Well, I can't calculate. You will. I can only calculate what you're doing. How long have you been doing cart

[April]

four months?

[Caleb Hammer]

Go yourself. What the are we doing? You haven't made a dime. What are we doing? Okay, so this is pathetic.

[April]

Well, like the first two months was just.

[Caleb Hammer]

Are you gonna go work for a real school someday?

[Sebastian]

Yeah, that's the goal. Given a couple more years.

[Caleb Hammer]

I don't think so. Now with your track record, it doesn't sound like you guys do very well.

[Sebastian]

I just said we're doing the best

[Caleb Hammer]

out of all the shit.

[Sebastian]

Well, I just like in his.

[April]

He does really well.

[Sebastian]

So like before you go to nationals, you go to regionals, right? I mean, you don't know that.

[Caleb Hammer]

Did you go to Nationals?

[Sebastian]

There's a lot of people basing everything off of nationals. There's lots of people who don't go to Nationals.

[Caleb Hammer]

Did you go to Nationals?

[Sebastian]

No.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, that's what you're just trying to set up.

[Sebastian]

I'm just saying like you were talking about other schools, like you were naming other conferences in Texas. I'm just saying we did other better than other schools in Texas that from conferences you've heard of.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. Nearly 7% of imported coffee beans come from Honduras anyway.

[April]

So that's a low percentage, I guess.

[Caleb Hammer]

But it's not as like hardcore unique is like you're trying to make it sound.

[April]

Okay.

[Caleb Hammer]

I thought this was going to be like, oh, less than 1%. Like this is going to be crazy.

[April]

I don't have that kind of money to invest on that kind of crazy source stuff.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, well, listen, I love the entrepreneurial mindset. I'm not. I don't want to shit on that completely, but all I know is you guys do not make much money.

[April]

Yes.

[Sebastian]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

And you guys fight about everything regarding finances anyway. Like, you can't do things. He does whatever he wants. So it's just like, is this what we should be doing in general? And I know from the pre interview and everything that of the venture you're doing, he's kind of growing resentful of kind of defending you right now a little maybe because he's on camera and another dude's calling her out. But he was fully resentful. Why?

[Sebastian]

I was resentful.

[April]

You don't think I do enough? He doesn't think I do enough. I don't know what else he wants

[Sebastian]

when it comes to that. Yeah, I don't think she does enough, but.

[Caleb Hammer]

What do you mean?

[Sebastian]

I think there's no she going to be doing more on the creative side in terms of putting her face out there for more businesses or people to

[April]

see her he wants me to post more. I should be posting more, but I genuinely like, sometimes don't have the time mental capacity to be worried about a post and like making it perfect and all these things. He doesn't think I'm doing enough. I'm doing as much as I can with my capacity, with my capabilities for my business, but he doesn't think I'm doing it.

[Caleb Hammer]

Maybe. But I mean, you don't care about her pursuing this, do you?

[Sebastian]

I do.

[Caleb Hammer]

What do you mean?

[Sebastian]

Like, in what way? So I want this to be something that turns into something successful. Like I've reached out to people to have her set up her coffee cart at events that are going on at the school. I let her know other things.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, okay, that's fine. But what isn't she doing? Because again, in the pre, like, I mean I was literally told that it was a therapy session, a full on like crazy therapy session, your entire pre interview.

[Sebastian]

So like there's the posting thing that she doesn't do enough of. Then I tell her, I was like, she needs to get in front of people. And not everything can be done just on social media. So like there's plenty of businesses around where we live. There is neighborhoods, there's apartment complexes. There's just people in our area that she can put a face.

[Caleb Hammer]

I mean, yeah, that might be good for business and you can give advice, but is she, does she want the advice?

[Sebastian]

I think she just wants the advice to say that we communicate. I don't think she actually wants to

[April]

listen or do what I say because when am I going to have the time to go put my face in front of businesses, to go pitch myself to people when I literally have to have this full time job that I don't want to have, but I have because we need to pay bills, you know, like you want me to do 100% in these two things, but there's not enough time in the day.

[Sebastian]

You just got your nails and had brunch all day on Monday.

[April]

Which literally was planned. It was planned so far in your plan.

[Sebastian]

Okay, then you plan to do that, but you can't plan to do the stuff that needs to be done for the business to succeed.

[April]

I do make plans for the business.

[Caleb Hammer]

How much are you helping for her business? You help a lot.

[Sebastian]

I think so.

[Caleb Hammer]

That's terrible. Y' all should be. You should be helping. Mom, look at me. You ain't doing nothing. Okay? I mean, you don't have to. I'm just curious because if she's like, if she's not putting this time and energy into things that you think she should be doing. Are you stepping up and having to take care of things that she's not?

[Sebastian]

Yeah. So, I mean, like, outside of more stuff around the house. I mean, do more stuff around the house, but I help with the coffee carts now that my season, my school year is done. So I do things like that.

[Caleb Hammer]

How many events has she done in this? Four months.

[Sebastian]

Four. Ish.

[Caleb Hammer]

What the.

[April]

Five? Six.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, come on. In four months? Like, come on, that's pathetic.

[April]

And I have already set up, like, 20.

[Caleb Hammer]

20 over the course of what? Contract next month. Contract sign?

[April]

Month and a half.

[Caleb Hammer]

Contract signed?

[April]

Yeah, if that's what you want to call it.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, I would say. Did they sign the contract?

[April]

Yes.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, you paid to be in the events. Oh, so it's not. They didn't hire you for it, you're just paying.

[April]

I'm doing a wedding.

[Caleb Hammer]

Do you have a website?

[April]

I have my Instagram account.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay.

[April]

I don't know.

[Caleb Hammer]

Give me your phone. Open your phone. What the are we doing? So you don't have a website? Okay, so how much time are you having to spend helping her with this shit then? Which, again, you can do. But it sounds like she doesn't want the advice. Sounds like she wants to be independent on this.

[Sebastian]

I don't think I spent. That's kind of too much. But in terms of, like, the posting and stuff, I spend almost as much time on my own stuff as I do on hers. So I'm really. I'm sending her stuff all the time

[Caleb Hammer]

in terms of can you can do. But does she want that? Do you want that?

[April]

Do you.

[Caleb Hammer]

Do you want him to do that?

[April]

I want.

[Caleb Hammer]

You can't say you have no time. You spend an average of almost basically five hours a day on the phone. That's this week. Last week it was over six hours.

[April]

I spend my. When I'm at work.

[Caleb Hammer]

I'm on your phone at work. You're serving. I thought you were supposed to be

[April]

making dinner whenever it's dead. And there we'll have hours. We'll have like a busy hour and then we'll be dead for like two hours because it's still a new restaurant. I'm just on my phone. What else am I going to do?

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, it's Instagram eight hours a day.

[April]

Okay.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. Texting six hours a day. Facebook for four hours a day. What are you doing on Facebook for four hours a day? At that point you should have a website. I do a lot of research at that point. You should have a website. You should be managing things. You should be doing a lot of things if you're on it that much. TikTok two hours a day. You posting coffee?

[April]

No.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, then what the are we doing? So that is time you could be doing stuff. The thing is, the thing is if you don't want to, that's fine. But it sounds like he has a problem with it and do you agree or disagree? Like I don't.

[April]

It's not. I overthink. Here's my thing. Whenever it comes to like posting stuff, I overthink it so much. I have so many things on canva that I've like created. But then I'm like it's not perfect. And I told him, I'm like, if you have this much of an issue and like the way that I would want you to help instead of half ass just saying like this is what you should be doing and like I send you stuff. Like why don't you. Can you we just log in on your phone and can you just post the stuff that you create? Because I don't want to be overthinking like whether this is perfect for you

[Caleb Hammer]

want him to help with the business or not.

[April]

That's what I'm going to help. Fool in if he's full in or be in or.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, what's your take?

[Sebastian]

So part of like all of this is that so we down. We have one car now and so we rely heavily on this one car to transport and to get to the events that we need to get to. So I we said the agreement was I'm gonna, I have to stop ubering because we can't just be putting the miles on the car and then plus where we live we have to drive out maybe like 15, 20 minutes to actually get orders or people that need to get going. So I had to stop doing that.

[Caleb Hammer]

Are you in or out though? I wanted to know the perspective on what she said. I'm in, you son of a bitch. I'm in. You want him to be in.

[April]

You log in on your phone and just post. Just do the thing that I'm not good at. I sit suck at it. I overthink it. It stresses me out.

[Caleb Hammer]

Then why are you doing it?

[April]

I, I love doing the events, being there, doing it.

[Caleb Hammer]

Work for someone else. Social media part, well, that's a part of running a business. Work for someone else that has a.

[April]

I have a husband who's amazing at it and he can be in it and he can help me in that

[Caleb Hammer]

way and can he Though. Can he all the way though? I don't know.

[April]

Literally all he has to do is log in and post the things that he makes.

[Caleb Hammer]

So it's your dream, but you expect him to do your dream.

[April]

If he's going to be that opinionated on what I'm doing, right or wrong, then be in it. Support me.

[Sebastian]

I don't think it's right or wrong. It's. You're not doing what needs to be done to promote the business and the way that makes us money. Like, I had to give up what I was doing that was giving us extra money so we could have barely giving us money.

[April]

It was wear and tear on the car. It really wasn't even doing right.

[Sebastian]

But it was more money in the bank account. I understand that it was wear and tear on the car, but I didn't have to ask you for money because I was doing that. Now I'm having to ask you for money. My accounts weren't going negative.

[Caleb Hammer]

Now they're going to be making money so far.

[Sebastian]

Right.

[April]

I will make money this way.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. How's the marriage?

[Sebastian]

Fine.

[Caleb Hammer]

It's up to not based the FA on the face she gave.

[April]

It's ups and downs.

[Caleb Hammer]

Tell me.

[April]

I think it's been hard to recover since last year and what was last year? What was last year?

[Sebastian]

You know, we went through.

[Caleb Hammer]

I don't know, shit, dude.

[Sebastian]

A separation.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, you guys were separated last year

[April]

and then we came back strong and it was great and everything. And then it just feels like it's

[Caleb Hammer]

like going towards separation again.

[April]

No, not. Not to that extent because I feel like I wouldn't just quit on us.

[Caleb Hammer]

What was the separation? How long have you guys been married?

[April]

Two and a half.

[Caleb Hammer]

But we were separated last year, so. In our marriage.

[Sebastian]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

How long?

[Sebastian]

Five, six months. Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Are you thinking divorce?

[Sebastian]

Yeah, I was.

[April]

How close were you guys to divorce for?

[Sebastian]

Oh, how close? I was all the way in. I was 40.

[Caleb Hammer]

Paying for what?

[April]

He's still paying. He has a payment plan for all the divorce stuff that he had.

[Caleb Hammer]

You were going through a divorce?

[Sebastian]

Yeah. Yeah. So like it first started off as a separation and then it just. I was like, yeah, let's just do the divorce.

[April]

Oh, let's just give up.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, what was. What do you. I mean, are you holding?

[April]

I was fighting for a marriage. I was literally trying to do therapy. Trying to do.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why were you out?

[Sebastian]

I just felt like I had to do a lot of things to babysit us in terms of making sure that all of the job stuff, that's kind

[Caleb Hammer]

of What I'm hearing today again.

[Sebastian]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Based on your critique of how she's running her thing that isn't bringing money but takes all her time.

[Sebastian]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. So go on. Sorry. You weren't.

[Sebastian]

Yeah. So we were working together and I think that was a bigger stress. So, like, I had to make sure that she was doing her job so that way I could do my job. And then it wasn't affecting both of us because if one of us got fired, then. But we're both pretty much gonna get fired or we weren't gonna be able to do it together. And then just. And then I ended up getting a speeding ticket. So that stopped me from being a truck driver. And then. So that's whenever I started coaching. And then she wasn't loving truck driving by herself. That ended up being like a whole.

[April]

What the.

[Caleb Hammer]

So you guys are probably making more money. Truck drivers make money.

[April]

You guys are making a shit ton of money.

[Caleb Hammer]

Someone go be a truck driver today.

[April]

I can't. Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why? I'm gonna be real with you. Your debt is not the same as everyone else's. You've got your own unique mix of credit cards, maybe some medical bills, personal loans and collections. Whatever. Your interest rates are different, your payments are different, Your life is different. So why do you need some one size fits all SOL that treats you like a number? Some generic calculator that spits out just pay more. As if you hadn't thought of that already. That's what sets PDFs apart. They don't just look at your balance and say, good luck. They work to understand your specific scenario and help provide alternative solutions to becoming debt free. Whether you're struggling with credit cards, personal loans, collections, or medical bills, PDS Debt has customized options designed specifically for you. Not your neighbor, not some average case study. You. They've helped hundreds of thousands of people get out of debt. And here's the thing. There's no minimum credit score required. They're not here to judge you. They're not here to shame you. They're here to help you get out and help you save more. Pay off your debt faster and start putting money back in your pocket. This is a company that is A plus rated by the Better Business Bureau, boasts thousands of five star reviews on Google, and holds a five star rating on trustpilot. That legitimately matters. Here's the thing. If I needed help paying off debt, this is exactly where I'd go for help. You're just 30 seconds away from being debt free with PDS debt. Get your free assessment and find the best option for you right now@pds debt.com hammer that is pds debt.com hammer pdsdebt.com hammer Merry Christmas in July, ya jolly motherfuckers. To celebrate, I'm giving you master your budget, master your debt, master your investing, and master your real estate. All of it 50% off. I've worked with a team of experts to build the best courses on the planet. Create a budget that gives every dollar a job so you never miss a cent. Get out of the endless minimum payment prison and take control of your money. Learn how to actually invest in without losing your ass or your savings. Getting into real estate. I'll help you avoid the money pit and get more profit. And if you're unsure where you stand, shame on you. But you're in luck. My newly revamped Hammer quiz. In just two minutes, you'll know just how naughty or nice your finances look. And if you've taken it before, look out for some new and huge improvements. Oh, and I have a special surprise for anyone who takes the quiz. Click the link in the description to learn more. Take the quiz, take advantage of any.50% off. And finally on finances for good.

[April]

When I was truck driving alone, I ended up driving for a local company doing like rock hauling and stuff. I was making like $2,000 a week. It was crazy.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, truck is money.

[April]

I was working like 15 hours a day. Waking up at 2am we were going through the separation and divorce. I wasn't sleeping. I wasn't like. Okay. Mentally, like I was not being a safe driver.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, what happened? What did you do?

[April]

So in a span of two weeks. A lot? Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

What?

[April]

Okay, so first I got a speeding ticket. The same one that he got actually. It was really funny. It was miles over.

[Caleb Hammer]

What are we doing? You're professional drivers.

[April]

Yes.

[Sebastian]

Clearly not.

[April]

I was. I was not okay putting other people's lives at risk.

[Caleb Hammer]

Those multi ton vehicles. What are you doing? So, speeding ticket. What else? You're making it sound like more.

[April]

Okay, well the other things that happened with the truck, it was with my personal.

[Caleb Hammer]

What?

[April]

I hit some animals on the road.

[Caleb Hammer]

Were they just spinning across the road or what?

[April]

Yeah, yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Who'd you hit?

[April]

It was like a coyote. Okay, the dog.

[Caleb Hammer]

A dog? What's wrong with you? You're evil.

[April]

I'm not evil. Sounds like I didn't try to all in two weeks.

[Caleb Hammer]

Come on. Hitting multiple animals?

[April]

I was checked out of life.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, guess what? And then you made other living things actually check out a life against their

[April]

consent myself Like I was going through panic attacks every day. I was in the emergency room like three different times.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why are you driving?

[April]

I was fainting. Then why are you. I had to. He left. He left Uber. If you Faint me at 2am there's no Ubers around.

[Caleb Hammer]

You're being selfish at that point. And the selfishness had consequences.

[April]

Anyways, I ended up having a car of a dog with a truck.

[Sebastian]

Huh?

[April]

I had an accident with the truck. It was a small accident, but that's what got me fired.

[Caleb Hammer]

No accountability either. It's all excuses for it.

[April]

It's the reality of reality that you chose to do. I didn't choose for my husband to leave me and put me through the emotional turmoil.

[Caleb Hammer]

You were going through hard times. You were going to the emergency room. You were fainting. If that is happening, do not get behind the wheel no matter what was

[April]

I supposed to do to me not do that.

[Caleb Hammer]

Because you're gonna get people killed.

[April]

Okay?

[Caleb Hammer]

That's all that matters in the end. Human life.

[April]

Yeah. Which is.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yes. Yourself is.

[April]

Okay. Well, if I didn't get fired, I was gonna quit because I was like, I can't keep doing this. Obviously I wasn't. Okay. Okay. I wasn't thinking properly.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, we know that clearly. No. Selfish.

[April]

Okay.

[Caleb Hammer]

Come on.

[April]

I got fired. I have an accident in my record. So I can't be hired for like three years or.

[Sebastian]

Good.

[Caleb Hammer]

You deserve it. Never put you behind the wheel again. I'm nervous. I don't want to.

[April]

Anyways. It doesn't matter anyway.

[Sebastian]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Insane.

[Sebastian]

But we should maybe figure something out so we can make money. So I'm okay if someone of us does maybe get back in the truck driving.

[April]

No.

[Caleb Hammer]

You guys are dangerous. Absolutely not. You need other jobs.

[April]

It was stupid. He shouldn't have got it.

[Caleb Hammer]

Listen, I'll get you a course career certification. People in the audience have used those for both of you.

[Sebastian]

I don't know.

[Caleb Hammer]

Because this coaching thing isn't working for both of you.

[April]

I don't give a.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why would I give a. I need to put food on the table. I don't care. Do you have kids? I understand, but if we can find some kids, then. I don't. Then. Okay, then you have a little more flexibility. But I'll get you core screws again. A lot of people in the audience have converted them into six figure jobs. Okay. Okay. What?

[Sebastian]

Okay.

[Caleb Hammer]

What do you want? Oh, okay. So. Okay. Okay. You were. You were one court date away from actually finalizing the divorce.

[Sebastian]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why the didn't you.

[Sebastian]

I. I realized my biggest Thing was, I wasn't feeling listened to, guys.

[Caleb Hammer]

You brought that up at the beginning of this conversation. That you're still not being listened to.

[Sebastian]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

So I don't think anything's been solved.

[Sebastian]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

So what? Tell me.

[Sebastian]

So I think I felt like I was finally being listened to in this. And then temporary. Yeah.

[April]

And then when I gave up and I finally signed the papers. Cause I was like, I can't keep going through this. If he doesn't want me, he doesn't want me. Let me just sign your papers. Here you go. Do whatever you want with your life. He all of a sudden felt like that was enough to regret.

[Sebastian]

No, not regret.

[Caleb Hammer]

Really. Because it doesn't sound like things are better based on what you've said in this conversation.

[Sebastian]

Well, there was a time whenever things were getting better, like, she was being more responsible, more on top of things.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yes, there was a time, but it's not today.

[April]

I'm just not enough. I'm never going to be enough.

[Sebastian]

Why do you have to be so dramatic about it?

[April]

Like, no, because that's literally how you make me feel all the time. Because it's like a roller coaster where, like, if I'm not at my hundred percent best, then I'm not enough. But I can't always be at my 100%.

[Sebastian]

There is an in between of like 50% and 100.

[April]

But you're not okay with that.

[Sebastian]

You're not doing 100, and you're barely at 50, right?

[April]

No.

[Sebastian]

Okay, emotionally, can you say that there's more things that you could be doing?

[April]

There's a few more things that I could be doing. Yes. That's. There's always gonna be more that I could be doing. But I'm, like, always exhausted. I'm mentally exhausted. I'm depressed.

[Sebastian]

Like, you're always exhausted. That's just part of being a grown up. Like, that's being adorable. And, like, I don't understand. Like, that's why I get so angry. And like, I just don't understand how the thought process of having a kid is possible. If you're saying you're always tired, that

[Caleb Hammer]

can't be a option. If you're, oh, I'm depressed and tired. I can't do anything.

[April]

I don't have jobs right now.

[Caleb Hammer]

So you want a third?

[April]

No. What are you talking about, third? I want. No. I want to set us up to be at a point where we.

[Caleb Hammer]

2000 hours a month. He has a joke of a job. It's a hobby. And you. Well, I don't even know this is pathetic. I mean, you're horrible behind the wheel, getting people killed. You should have been arrested. Like, what the is wrong with you?

[April]

That's a little extreme.

[Caleb Hammer]

Not really. You're putting people's lives in danger. Let's get you the off the road forever. Who the fuck?

[April]

Yeah, let's get me off the road.

[Sebastian]

Well, she's off the road now, so.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, for even your own personal car.

[April]

Yeah, I barely drive.

[Caleb Hammer]

We definitely shouldn't let you in general going forward. That's for sure. So how are you setting yourself up to have a kid? I don't see that happening. Look at the stack.

[April]

With the business growing, it can get to the point where that will.

[Caleb Hammer]

Dude, she hasn't made a dime. What the are we talking about?

[Sebastian]

There's only one direction for it to go, and that's.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, it's not.

[Sebastian]

It's up.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, no, no. There's another direction. She defaults on her debt because you guys have so much debt and so much spending and bullshit, and then all of a sudden, whoopsie, we just don't even have money to even get the supplies needed to even go to these events and pay for the events and all these different things.

[Sebastian]

I guess that is possible, yes.

[Caleb Hammer]

There's a lot of things. So you think businesses don't collapse overnight?

[April]

No, they do.

[Caleb Hammer]

This is a hobby. You have a hobby. You have a hobby. And the waitressing isn't doing.

[April]

No, it's not doing. I wanted to stop waitressing. I had the opportunity.

[Caleb Hammer]

Or just waitress somewhere that makes more money. Dude, no one's going to this place. Or this is too cheap. Something's wrong.

[April]

It's starting out. They don't even have their liquor license yet. Once they get their liquor license, more people will come in and who cares?

[Caleb Hammer]

Why are you supporting them there? It's a business. Go for a better business. You need to make more money.

[April]

There's nothing else in our town.

[Sebastian]

There's.

[April]

In our town. There's nothing. There's nothing better.

[Caleb Hammer]

Then move to a place with opportunity.

[April]

We can't sell the house yet.

[Caleb Hammer]

You own a house. What is it with these people I'm talking to that are owning these houses and no opportunity areas? Why are you.

[April]

And we were making.

[Caleb Hammer]

You know why it's cheap? Because there's no opportunities.

[April]

When we bought it,

[Sebastian]

there's a college area town. So we thought that that was the opportunity.

[April]

Yeah, we thought if we came to

[Caleb Hammer]

the college you work at. Yeah, well, then clearly that college sucks in, like, every way possible. I mean, if there's Only a restaurant.

[Sebastian]

It's not the best. No, it's the best restaurant there.

[Caleb Hammer]

And yet it is like, failing.

[Sebastian]

They're.

[April]

They're starting out.

[Caleb Hammer]

I come from a college town. Hundreds if not at least a thousand restaurants.

[April]

Did you come from a big college town? Because this is a small College Town.

[Caleb Hammer]

Also D1, and it's in the Mac conference. Okay. Similar to the Sun Belt. And if that's doing better than your conference, then you need to give up.

[Sebastian]

Can I give like another year or two before I give up?

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, you make no money. And she wants to have a kid and she's aging out, so.

[April]

I am aging out. Yeah.

[Sebastian]

But I'm older, so I feel like there's a little bit more.

[Caleb Hammer]

What does that have to do with anything?

[Sebastian]

Because if I can be patient and see what's the aging out. How long do we have?

[April]

Yours is fine. Mine is running out.

[Sebastian]

So you say like 32. You're done. You won't be able to probably.

[April]

I don't. I already have A modern medicine is better.

[Caleb Hammer]

But they're, They're. I mean, you don't. You don't want to be. You want to be young and spry for the kids.

[Sebastian]

Okay. And so then I have to get a job based on us having a kid, which I understand. I have no problem doing. I can get a kid.

[Caleb Hammer]

Do you want to have a kid? I mean, you almost divorced her last year.

[Sebastian]

Yes, I want to have a kid, but I don't want to be the only thing that's holding the household afloat. And that's where I feel Exactly.

[Caleb Hammer]

Which is basically his love language, by the way, as a coach. I mean, in the entire pre interview, it's that like working together, you two together, and trucking showed who you really are. And he can't feel like he loves someone who isn't making their lives better and that you guys aren't on the same page, you guys aren't on the same team. All this. And for someone like him who is a professional coach, that actually does matter. No shame he would want to leave. Want to be with someone who's actually contributing.

[April]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

He looks down on you, and you're not a provider. You don't do anything. The business is a failure.

[April]

It does feel.

[Caleb Hammer]

Really. Because in your previous interview, you didn't say you looked down on her, but everything you're seeing is looking down on her.

[April]

Oh, well, that is how I perceive it too. Just so you know.

[Caleb Hammer]

But that might not be invalid.

[April]

No, I mean.

[Caleb Hammer]

And he can't be with someone that he considers pathetic and not contributing to the relationship, which is actually crazy because

[April]

I'm busting my ass to bring in the remaining money.

[Caleb Hammer]

That's been worse because you're busting your ass and only making 2,000 hours a month. Meaning that it's actually worse because there's people that are lazy that make more

[April]

than you, which is crazy. Oh, my God.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, that just means you suck, okay? You're a horrible teammate.

[Sebastian]

She used to be in, like, pharmaceutical sales. And I told her maybe we said something we should try to get back into.

[April]

I'm not going to go back to that shit. I hated it. I hated it.

[Sebastian]

Yeah, so you hate not making money now? You hate making money. At least money problems would be solved if you were doing it.

[April]

There's more to life than just money. And I'm not going to have a job where I'm hating myself because of the job that's so unethical that I'm having to do.

[Sebastian]

Right. There's more to life than money. Right?

[Caleb Hammer]

There is. You guys have to pay the bills and if you want kids, you need to be set up for it. And you guys have a lot of debt.

[Sebastian]

And the number one reason why people get divorced is because of finances. Right?

[Caleb Hammer]

It's not the number one, but it is a leading cause.

[Sebastian]

Okay. It's up there.

[Caleb Hammer]

And if you allow. Yes, but you almost got divorced already, guys. You got closer than any couple on this show, as far as I know.

[April]

Gave up. He just wanted to give up.

[Caleb Hammer]

Necessarily giving up. Like, he accepted the L. And you guys are now like, you're like, your relationship might not be a complete failure, but your finances are. And if that's a big part of it, if that's a big part of it, which it sounds like it is, like, yeah, maybe you guys did lose.

[Sebastian]

Yeah, I would. That was my mindset for a bit.

[April]

See how I don't do enough when I am working? I've always been working.

[Sebastian]

How can you keep on saying you don't understand how you don't do enough? And then I'm giving examples of how you're not doing enough.

[Caleb Hammer]

So again, in the you're like pre interview therapy session, he was saying or that he always makes it feel like you're making him out to be the bad guy. Is that true? That's what you said.

[Sebastian]

Oh, me?

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah.

[Sebastian]

Oh, yeah. I think if I don't agree with what she says, then I just turn into the bad guy. If I don't 100% support every single idea that she has and Then I'm just the negative Nancy that just poops on every plan.

[Caleb Hammer]

And that's kind of crazy because you're supporting his insane dream job. That is bullshit. And he's supporting your insane dream job. That is bullshit. You guys are supporting each other in your lunacy.

[Sebastian]

But I. Whenever I took the job, I was also Ubering to make up for money that we needed.

[Caleb Hammer]

High school coach.

[Sebastian]

Yes, that's something that is being thought about, and I'm working through trying to figure that out.

[Caleb Hammer]

If you guys are already supporting each other in your lunacy dreams, then how can you say he's the villain?

[April]

I never said he was a villain.

[Caleb Hammer]

You make him feel like he is, though.

[April]

And he makes me feel like I'm not enough. Clearly we're both doing something wrong with how we're making each other feel.

[Caleb Hammer]

Are you enough?

[April]

Yes.

[Caleb Hammer]

How?

[April]

I'm pretty great. I work hard.

[Caleb Hammer]

But you don't bring anything.

[April]

Maybe I work okay.

[Caleb Hammer]

Isn't it results, not the actual working that makes the difference?

[April]

I don't know how to better structure myself in order to get better results. But instead of criticism, maybe I could use some guidance and some help. I know that I'm not.

[Caleb Hammer]

He's not a professional business owner. How is he giving that?

[April]

Well, but then don't give the criticism if you can't give the help.

[Caleb Hammer]

It sounds like he is trying.

[April]

For what it's worth, he is trying, and I do recognize that.

[Caleb Hammer]

What are you talking about? You specifically told Lindsay that he does not meet your needs. What is that? What does that even mean?

[April]

Well, like, emotionally and stuff. You know, like in a marriage. Like, I want my husband to support me lovingly, not to always be, like, a father who's, like, looking down on me, criticizing me.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, yeah, that might be his coaching nature. What is this? Not meeting needs? That happens.

[April]

I want to be loved.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, tell me.

[April]

I want to feel loved. Like, you know, examples.

[Sebastian]

Okay.

[April]

And I've been telling him this. When we started, it was like a fairy tale. Not a fairy tale, but, like, welcome to every relationship. Okay, but, like, why can't we get back to that? Like, why can't you hug me? Why can't you give me kisses?

[Caleb Hammer]

You don't kiss.

[April]

I have to ask for it. I have to ask for it. Why am I having to beg my husband to give me affection and attention? Why? That doesn't make sense. You're my husband. You should want to give me a kiss when I come home. You should want to give me a kiss goodbye. You should want to wrap your Arms around me. You should want to take pictures of me like you used to, but you don't because I'm not enough.

[Caleb Hammer]

You're losing me at the picture thing, but at least give it away.

[April]

It was an us thing. It was an us thing.

[Sebastian]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

It's just like I do honeymoon phase.

[Sebastian]

I hug her, I kiss her. Do I smother her in hugs and kisses like she wants?

[April]

No, but I'm always having to ask for it.

[Sebastian]

Just because you. Just because you ask, like, first thing when you come in through the door doesn't mean you have to always ask.

[April]

No, I always.

[Sebastian]

That's like me saying, I come home, where's dinner? I don't have to ask for dinner. I can just make it myself. Like, give me a second. I will give you a hug and a kiss. Right?

[April]

But you. But you don't.

[Sebastian]

But.

[April]

Okay, no, like, literally, lately, I get home and I'm like, let me see how long it'll take. Let me see how that's how bad it's gotten. Because in my head, I'm like, does he even care to give me a hug?

[Sebastian]

I mean, like, does it.

[April]

Does it even matter to me?

[Sebastian]

I'm not gonna argue with that. But if I see you every single day, we wake up and sleep together. Like, we sleep in every single day. I don't think I need to welcome you home like you came back from war with a hug and a kiss. Unless I'm wrong in that logic.

[April]

Yeah, you're wrong in that logic. We're not like, friends living together. We're husband and wife.

[Sebastian]

You work, but I'm not gonna work. You're not even half a mile away. I stopped by the restaurant to see you on, like, twice a week for

[April]

lunch, which is nice. I do like that.

[Sebastian]

Okay, so, like, again, I don't need to shower you with hugs and kisses every time that I see you, but that's okay.

[Caleb Hammer]

A concern here. I thought you both said you work your asses off, but you sleep in every day.

[Sebastian]

Because I've been trying to make up for that time that I missed out with her when I got not working.

[Caleb Hammer]

Shut the up.

[April]

She's been gone a lot.

[Caleb Hammer]

Shut the up.

[April]

Call on.

[Caleb Hammer]

We sleep in every day. Shut the. Shut up.

[April]

This has just been the past.

[Caleb Hammer]

Shut up. Come on. Come on. That's great. How often you guys.

[Sebastian]

Three times a week.

[Caleb Hammer]

What? Then what are you talking about?

[April]

Three times a week?

[Caleb Hammer]

So you're getting affection, you're getting love, you're getting touch, right? Unless it's just, like, he's not looking at you, and it's just like, you know, like an animal.

[Sebastian]

I like the lights on. So, like, that's.

[April]

There's been times when I ask for it and I get rejected.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, that's gonna happen. Sometimes it happens a lot. Okay, well, but if you're at three times a week, I don't. I think you're okay. It's a healthy amount, right?

[April]

Once or twice a week lately.

[Caleb Hammer]

So it's going down.

[Sebastian]

Don't be drama.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, well, Lindsay is saying that she said she feels constantly rejected.

[April]

Constantly.

[Caleb Hammer]

So what does that mean?

[April]

That means I put myself out there. I try to, like, start something and then it's. There's always an excuse. There's always a reason of why not. When I try to initiate, it gets shut down. Every single time that I try to initiate, it gets shut down. So I have to wait until he feels like it?

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, yes, Both have to feel like it. That's not crazy.

[Sebastian]

Like, every single time.

[April]

But if I don't feel like it and he wants it, then I'm gonna get myself in the mood for him.

[Sebastian]

Okay, you're better than me. I don't. I don't know what to tell you.

[Caleb Hammer]

I will say there is a mathematical equation here. If we're just talking basic biology. If he wants to, you don't want to, and you say, okay, that's 30 seconds. If you want to and he doesn't want to. I could be like a 10 minute marathon that he has to just like,

[Sebastian]

you know, because whenever I'm in the performance, grade A stuff. And you can't argue with that.

[Caleb Hammer]

So saying. I was just saying to get him to come is like 30 seconds. You're a mission.

[April]

I'm not.

[Caleb Hammer]

You're an easy comer.

[Sebastian]

I make it a whole performance. Like, it's not something that I just jump in and out of. So, like, it takes.

[Caleb Hammer]

Give me your phone, buddy. Okay. This is a background black people in anime.

[Sebastian]

You don't like anime?

[Caleb Hammer]

No, it's just always the thing. It's very interesting.

[Sebastian]

So, like, why you mean black people?

[Caleb Hammer]

Like, no black people in anime. It's very interesting.

[Sebastian]

Like the only ones who like it.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, but every single time, black people

[April]

tend to like anime.

[Caleb Hammer]

This is definitely following very goony content on Twitter. I will say there's some booty shaking and like that, which is a little interesting. Then booty, booty, booty. This is everything on everything. And X so far as soccer and ass. Okay. X. Huh?

[Sebastian]

I don't use X.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay.

[Sebastian]

There is a guy, he Sends, like, stuff, and I have to.

[Caleb Hammer]

Huh.

[April]

What?

[Sebastian]

I have a co worker that sends stuff since.

[Caleb Hammer]

What?

[Sebastian]

Stuff that's not appropriate.

[Caleb Hammer]

Where?

[Sebastian]

On Instagram.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. What's that?

[April]

Maybe.

[Sebastian]

Huh. So that's just where some WhatsApp.

[April]

What?

[Caleb Hammer]

What?

[Sebastian]

Just booties and boobs and.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why?

[Sebastian]

Just his sense of humor.

[April]

I think I know who you're talking about.

[Caleb Hammer]

And Brandon and I are both Gooners, but we don't send each other. You know, that's not how you pass time.

[April]

Is that what he sends?

[Sebastian]

Sometimes.

[April]

Oh, my God. Okay.

[Caleb Hammer]

You talk to a lot of people on WhatsApp. Why?

[Sebastian]

Part of recruiting.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay.

[April]

He's always recruiting. He's always working.

[Caleb Hammer]

Who's this person from. I'm believing her name, but.

[Sebastian]

Mm.

[Caleb Hammer]

Who is this?

[Sebastian]

An athlete.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why do you do video calls with her? Uh, very frequently.

[Sebastian]

Talk about coaching stuff.

[April]

Uh,

[Caleb Hammer]

okay. Yeah, some of it is coaching talking. It's a little interesting. You've met her a lot? Picked her up a lot from the airport.

[Sebastian]

She's from a different country.

[Caleb Hammer]

What's your relationship with her?

[Sebastian]

My athlete. What's my relationship?

[Caleb Hammer]

She's your athlete?

[Sebastian]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

She plays there.

[Sebastian]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

At your school?

[April]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

But she lives in Germany, Correct. Okay, guys text a lot, but. Okay. I just didn't know student athletes and coaches texted this much. It's just a lot. Listen, I. I haven't seen anything, like, alarming. It's just. It is a lot of texting. It's very weird, but maybe that's normal. I don't know. I think it's always the women. Why aren't you texting the men that much, though?

[Sebastian]

That's something that I tried to figure out. I. The guys don't talk a lot.

[Caleb Hammer]

No. You're not texting them as much.

[Sebastian]

I called them, but.

[Caleb Hammer]

But you're really texting these very attractive women a lot?

[April]

But they're kids.

[Caleb Hammer]

They're not kids.

[Sebastian]

I wouldn't say they're attractive, but I guess I can see how someone else would.

[Caleb Hammer]

What? Come on. But she's attractive. What the are you talking about? What are you. Come on. Done with that. What's this?

[Sebastian]

What is it?

[Caleb Hammer]

Holofly. Holofly. Oh, just. It looks like hinge, but I guess it's not. Okay, that's good. Ooh, that was concerning.

[April]

I do think that he invests more time than necessary into literally every.

[Caleb Hammer]

Maybe, maybe not. I'm not 100% sure. It's just interesting that it's always the young women, you know?

[Sebastian]

Sure.

[Caleb Hammer]

What's the gender split on your team?

[Sebastian]

I have two guys and four girls. And then next year I'm going to have four guys and seven girls. Whenever I travel, I'm gone for three or four days of the week. Okay.

[April]

And whenever he's home, he's working.

[Sebastian]

And that's from the start of the second week of January.

[Caleb Hammer]

Sense.

[Sebastian]

But to like the whole second semester I'm pretty much gone half a week.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, there wasn't really anything too concerning on his phone. But he's around these attractively. You're not concerned with him traveling?

[April]

No, it's just the fact that like he doesn't know how to balance like his work job.

[Caleb Hammer]

Either you support his dream job or you don't. I don't know what to tell you,

[April]

but he can gets home and he's still working.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay.

[April]

But he doesn't stop working.

[Sebastian]

But part of it is that I talk to international athletes. And so the time zone in Germany or in New Zealand are drastically different than times here. So I have to be on my phone.

[Caleb Hammer]

What is this other woman that I have in my notes?

[Sebastian]

His job.

[Caleb Hammer]

Who is she?

[April]

The job.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, oh, okay, okay, okay. What do you guys think? Your financial score is 0 to 10, negative 05. Before we keep going, quick word from today's sponsor. Look, every business owner right now is hearing the same thing. You need AI. You need AI. You need AI. Okay, great. But if your financials are in one place, inventory in somewhere else, HR is a mess and nobody can get a straight answer from the data. AI is not the problem, your systems are. That's why today, today's video is sponsored by NetSuite. You probably know NetSuite. It is the AI powered business management suite that securely connects all of your data, financials, inventory, commerce, HR, CRM. One source of truth trusted by over 43,000 customers. And NetSuite Next is the next huge leap. Because AI is built into everything you do. It surfaces custom insights throughout your day. AI agents help you handle routine work. And if you've got a question, you can just ask like you're talking to a coworker. If I were running a seven figure business, this is absolutely what I'd want. So. So for the first time ever, you can try netsuite next for free. If your revenues are at least in the seven figures, go to NetSuite Aihammer. Built for every industry, ready for every boardroom. NetSuite AI Hammer. Alright, back to the mess. Before we get back to this disaster, quick word from today's sponsor, zocdoc. Look, way too many people treat doctor appointments like a credit card Bill, they don't want to open. Yeah, no, you should deal with it. But instead you wait and wait and suddenly it's been like a year and a half. I've been there too. Part of the problem is the process sucks. You call, you get put on hold, they don't take your insurance or the next opening is in the year 2047. And that is why the part of this video is sponsored by zocdoc. Zocdoc lets you search and compare local in network doctors. They have more than 150,000 providers within 200 plus specialties across all 50 states. You can read reviews from real patients, check detailed doctor profiles, see actual appoint openings and click to instantly book a visit. And appointments happen fast, usually within 24 to 72 hours, sometimes even the same day. Also very important, Zocdoc is free to use that whole phone call nightmare I just described. Yeah, that used to be me. Then I got on zocdoc, type in what I needed filtered by my insurance and had actual doctors with openings in front of me before the hold music would have even started. That's why ZocDoc is what I use when I need to book a doctor fast. Your health matters and taking care of yourself shouldn't be complicated. Find and book the right doctor with Zocdoc. Head to Zocdoc.com Caleb to get started and check that appointment off your to do list that is z o c-o c.com Caleb all right, back to the financial chaos. Okay, I can't be negative, but okay. If you want your Hammer Financial score, get it for free@caleb hammer.com Figure out where your score is 0 to 10 in the world of finances. Where you're doing poorly, where you're doing great. If you don't want to be like a guest who ends up on the show, make sure you download the dollar wise budgeting app, take the free trial, see if it works for works for tens of thousands of monthly active users for a reason. And if you're like I said, over the annual version because it saves almost 50% and you get the physical version of my 30 day meal plan signed by me mailed directly to you and also the digital version of the cookbook. So check that out. Listen, I understand you guys relationship is messy. Yes, you should, you should, you should hug your wife, you should kiss your wife. That's normal. That's fine. I understand if it's up and down with sex. That's happens, we're busy, we're tired, whatever. That's Normal. But, like, I mean, guys, what. What are we doing? And if you guys think each other are the controlling ones in the relationship, like, how do we get anywhere? I don't know. How do you guys communicate on money? Like, all this. All this right here. You said, you know what? He doesn't know anything, so where's the communication on the money?

[Sebastian]

So she tells me this is the plan and this is how things are going to happen. And I trust her and I say, okay. So I send her the money whenever she asks for it, and then whenever I need money for something, send the money.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why are we not combined?

[April]

We had. We had a combined account when we got married, and we just never used it. And they use it.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why should he have to send money?

[April]

That's weird, because it's just easy.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, it's not. If everything. No, it's actually not. It's actually easier to budget as a household. If everything goes into one account, I'm down.

[April]

He just didn't care to use it or do anything with it.

[Sebastian]

Never got back to doing it again. It was just because, like, we had the same job before, so our paychecks were the easiest.

[Caleb Hammer]

How can you manage off of two accounts that you just don't even see insight into? How can you manage the household?

[April]

Because most payments come, like, I just pay for it. He only is in charge of the Internet and the car insurance and his credit card minimum. So when he gets paid every month, he keeps what he needs for those payments and just sends me the rest, and then I pay everything else. So it's just easier because he was really bad at making payments. Like, he would end up, like, making late payments and things.

[Caleb Hammer]

So how do we talk about the money, though? You just accept it when she says these things?

[Sebastian]

Yeah, she has it right written down, and we look at it.

[Caleb Hammer]

So she would be the controlling one then?

[April]

Yeah, because I organize it. I'm the organized one.

[Caleb Hammer]

So can you say he's controlling then if he says you can't spend money?

[April]

Well, yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, you're the one managing the money. I'm conf. I'm really. That dynamic is just so confusing to me. I mean, you guys spent 400 more

[Sebastian]

than you brought in, so, like, I think I. She says, you I'm controlling because, like, I don't. I tell her she's not allowed to go to the grocery store because anytime we see, like, what.

[Caleb Hammer]

That's crazy.

[Sebastian]

A list of two items. She'll always get 10 items. Like, it's never, ever has there been a trip where she Goes in for exactly what she needs and only gets those items or less. It's always more. So I said no more going to the grocery store.

[Caleb Hammer]

So you go to the grocery store then?

[Sebastian]

Yeah, most of it.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, that's weird to not let your wife go to the grocery store.

[Sebastian]

Why?

[Caleb Hammer]

We have a conversation around budgeting, around what we're able to spend on and we allocate from there instead of just saying, no, you can't go to the grocery store.

[Sebastian]

I understand that, but if it saves an argument argument of her just constantly keep on doing the same thing is

[Caleb Hammer]

this is avoiding forever and letting a building then blow up. But I have no other. One more meeting before divorce.

[Sebastian]

Again, no problem just going to the grocery store.

[Caleb Hammer]

Sure. But you're gone sometimes.

[Sebastian]

Oh, you talking about.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, oftentimes you're gone a lot.

[Sebastian]

Whenever I come back, I make sure that Sunday I go to the grocery store and get what we need to do for the week. I plan accordingly. I say, hey, I got this for you for the week. Or I got this for me for lunch.

[Caleb Hammer]

You for the week for me. This is so weird. Maybe she is right that you guys are more like roommates than a married couple.

[Sebastian]

Yeah, I think so you're good with that.

[Caleb Hammer]

That's what you want?

[Sebastian]

No, that's not what I want.

[Caleb Hammer]

Like, well, it seems like you're the one encouraging it with how you're managing it argument.

[Sebastian]

Because I feel like we just communicate just for the fact of just saying that we just talk. Like no thing actually comes out of

[April]

our communicating when we were given actual tactics of how to communicate. You don't want to do that stuff.

[Sebastian]

That's not true.

[April]

Those food conversation things like that I

[Sebastian]

don't need to hold spoon in my

[April]

hand to know who's talking tactic of how to communicate that we were taught, yet we don't use any of these things that we were taught.

[Sebastian]

Okay, so when we did therapy before and the therapist said we came to the conclusion that I make everything just sound like a sol a suggestion and not an actual answer, I changed the way that I said things. I made more decisive statements. It was either yes or no. And then once I did that, you still weren't listening to me. And then I told you I didn't want to be that person that's just yelling at you to make sure that you listen to me, even though you said that's the only way that you listen. So I changed how I communicate and nothing changed. So holding a spoon does not give me faith that all of a sudden we're going to learn how to effectively communicate.

[April]

Okay. That's just one example of different things that we were taught on how to better communicate.

[Sebastian]

I understand that. And I gave you something that we actually went to therapy for.

[April]

Therapy that therapy that we did, like, those two times.

[Caleb Hammer]

Like, oh, two sessions. Come on.

[April]

That's literally. Thank you. And she wasn't a couple's therapist. She was my therapist that I was like, can I bring my husband in?

[Caleb Hammer]

Because you shouldn't do that into individual therapy.

[Sebastian]

No, you're talking about. I'm talking about the first one, the premarital therapist.

[April]

That was like, one thing. One.

[Sebastian]

Okay, but I'm saying before we got

[April]

married, before there was actual issues between us, because we were still having issues. But. Okay, but why. I do recognize. So for the. Before everything went down last year, we almost got divorced. I was living in the Lululand thinking, like, nothing was a problem, everything was fine.

[Caleb Hammer]

Wait, really? Were you bringing up issues?

[April]

He would bring things up, like.

[Caleb Hammer]

And you were just ignoring them?

[April]

No.

[Caleb Hammer]

How are you bringing them up?

[April]

Jokingly, sometimes.

[Caleb Hammer]

How are you bringing them up? It's his answer.

[Sebastian]

I say, I don't think that this is a healthy way of going about this. I think this is taking away a lot of.

[April]

Of.

[Sebastian]

Okay. For example, when we were truck driving, she would constantly stop for a lot for whatever reasons whether. Yeah, pee breaks. And then the pee breaks turned into. She was having conversations with her family members and she had to solve a lot of problems.

[Caleb Hammer]

Driving?

[Sebastian]

No. And so she had to stop driving, like, pull over to help out with whatever that the family had going on. And so they used to be very

[April]

dependent on me on and off.

[Sebastian]

That's not a problem. But it was every single day. And so whenever she's only allowed to drive the eight hours that she's supposed to, that puts me behind. Behind on the hours that I need to be driving to make up, like, for.

[Caleb Hammer]

But did you actually bring up the issue?

[Sebastian]

Yes, I said that you needed to stop.

[Caleb Hammer]

You just acted like nothing was wrong.

[April]

Say things like, maybe this is not the right way to handle this.

[Caleb Hammer]

Maybe, and do you not get the hint? Or you're.

[April]

Yeah, I was at the time.

[Caleb Hammer]

Are you not?

[April]

No.

[Caleb Hammer]

How. How are you not then now?

[April]

I actually, like, take into account what he's saying and, like, look internally and really.

[Caleb Hammer]

Because he's afraid to start arguments. He's afraid to have conversations.

[April]

I don't know why he's afraid. And now I actually have conversations. Before, I couldn't even communicate.

[Caleb Hammer]

He doesn't. You do. He Doesn't.

[Sebastian]

Yeah.

[April]

No, he doesn't.

[Sebastian]

Yeah.

[April]

Because before I would, like. I can't. I don't know what to say. I would shut down. And now I actually speak up. I give you my opinions. I tell you what I don't like. What? This, that, and the other.

[Caleb Hammer]

Every time he brings up his honesty, he just says, you're mean. That's what he said.

[April]

That's what he needs. That's what he likes. Because when I was nice and sweet.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, then why is he avoiding.

[April]

He never listened to. To me. So now I have to be bitchy and I have to be mean for him to be receptive towards you.

[Caleb Hammer]

Is that what you want? That's how we like that.

[Sebastian]

What are we doing right now? What, are you just being nonsense?

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah.

[Sebastian]

No. Like, who would like that? I tell you what needs to be done, you reply back. After I lay it down on how it needs to be done, you say, I feel like I'm not enough. I feel like I don't do enough. What I do isn't enough. And it makes me feel like I'm not good enough.

[April]

Off. Yeah.

[Sebastian]

Because that's what happens whenever I say how we need to do better. And so whenever you reply with that, I don't. What am I supposed to do? I just. I think I speak on nothing but facts, and you just speak on all emotions, and I can't argue with your emotions. And that's why I just stopped arguing.

[Caleb Hammer]

That is true. Emotions are impossible to argue with. It really is. Because this is not logical. It never is. I mean, that is true.

[April]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

And I deal with that every day on this show. Your feeling is a feeling.

[April]

I think I take a lot of what he says into consideration. But it doesn't separate the fact that we're in a marriage where feelings do matter.

[Caleb Hammer]

Feelings do matter. Yes.

[April]

And he completely disregards.

[Caleb Hammer]

But if the feeling is the entire argument and outweighs a reality of a situation, that becomes an impossible conversation.

[April]

Maybe we've been having a lot of impossible conversations because I've been very emotional lately because things have just been really, really bad again.

[Caleb Hammer]

So we're headed towards that divorce again. Why are things really, really bad? That's what I tried to ask at the beginning. You guys can't answer. If things are really, really bad, what is it? I need insight into this household, guys.

[Sebastian]

What's really bad is that I just don't think that she does enough. Iri was relying on her to take off with this coffee car. Not even take off. Like, I'm okay with that's not delusional. I don't say. I want to say where it's at, but I was putting faith that she was going to be putting more work into it to be at a better place. And that's not what's happening.

[April]

Always have to be just me who's putting in all the work.

[Sebastian]

So I'm not doing anything exhausting. So I'm not doing anything for your business?

[April]

No, I'm not talking about, like, you doing something for my business, but, like, it's summer vacation. You don't have as much workload as you did. But what are you doing?

[Sebastian]

I sent you a whole, like, sheet of companies and people that we need to go talk to to take off with this business. Did I not?

[April]

But you just give.

[Sebastian]

Did I not.

[April]

You just give ideas, like, make plans.

[Sebastian]

Did I. You just give ideas. This stuff?

[April]

Yeah.

[Sebastian]

Gives me stuff. And so I think we can agree that my strong suit is not talking to people and putting a bubbly face to these people. Right? So why is that not something that you do? I present the idea to you on this is who we need to go talk to. And you never follow up on any

[April]

of that because my schedule's already full.

[Sebastian]

And then you don't even know how many, like, events that I have signed you up for that just didn't go through.

[April]

I do, because I got the calls that they didn't.

[Sebastian]

Oh, that's right. I did put your email on there. So you do know. Actually, I'll take it back. Sorry, are.

[April]

I just feel like that I signed up for that. He thinks that I'm sitting there not doing anything, but I actually am signing up for events.

[Sebastian]

No, that's the thing. You're just only relying on farmers and markets. Like, you're not actually getting up and walking and talking to anybody. Like, there's so many people that you can actually meet in the neighborhood, in the town, and you're just not doing that. Well.

[April]

You said you were gonna go, like, figure out the Rotary Club thing, like, months ago, and you just yesterday told me what you figured out with that.

[Caleb Hammer]

That. Okay, so actually, it was a misread of mine. At the beginning, I honestly thought this because it was weird. It was like, you're like, oh, I want her business to do so well. And you're like, oh, he has the dream job. I really want that. And you're. It's like. I was like, wait, what actually is the problem?

[April]

You see?

[Caleb Hammer]

No, this is a complete disaster. This thing, this passion project, this business, you guys, this is like, the fight.

[Sebastian]

Yeah, it is. Because even before, like, up to this

[Caleb Hammer]

point, we misread that.

[Sebastian]

I think this is.

[Caleb Hammer]

I mean, that's insane. That entire, like, I zoned out there for a second because just how you guys are being.

[Sebastian]

She was. I think the. All the products that she was buying, I thought it was overly expensive. Like, I didn't know anything about, like, any of the coffee stuff, but I just looked into it for a little bit. I immediately found her cheaper coffee that she could be using without sacrificing the quality. I found her cheaper coffee cups to be using. So every. Like, from the very beginning, I've been finding cheaper ways to do what she's been doing. I think I've been more than helpful in everything, and I haven't given her a hard time about that stuff. I got frustrated because it seems like I'm always finding the cheaper way to do something or to maximize the money.

[April]

About helping me.

[Sebastian]

I'm not upset about helping you. I'm doing literally everything I can to help you. I just want you to take initiative. Charge in your business. This isn't my business.

[April]

I'm doing. You're doing, like, 10, and I'm doing the other 90.

[Sebastian]

10 I'm doing saves us so much money.

[April]

And thank you. But just because you're having to do 10, you're bitching and my whining about it as if, like, I shouldn't have to do this.

[Sebastian]

I shouldn't. I. I shouldn't. I don't ask you to come help me with my job. That's something I took on.

[April]

You don't want to be involved in the coffee car.

[Sebastian]

I have no problem helping you.

[April]

Yes, you do. You clearly do. That's what you literally just said. The 10 you don't want to do.

[Sebastian]

No, I said the 10 because you minimized the 10% like it was nothing. The 10% saved us a whole lot of money. The 10% is putting you in front of more people.

[April]

I will not ask for help on the coffee cart.

[Sebastian]

You need the help. You're not doing anything.

[April]

I'm not doing anything. I'm not doing the other 90. Cool.

[Sebastian]

The 90%. The once a month, it's gonna.

[April]

I've booked pretty much every single weekend from now until the end of August.

[Sebastian]

Yeah, I agree. You did. You did do that because it was

[April]

the only dates available. I would have been booked more previous to now if the dates were available.

[Sebastian]

Okay, so why are you only relying on farmers markets to sell the stuff?

[April]

I'm not. I'm also trying to venture out and do the weddings. I have a wedding booked. It's just the first of many that are going to come.

[Sebastian]

Who's the wedding with?

[April]

Your athlete.

[Sebastian]

Okay, so that wouldn't have been possible without me, right?

[April]

Yeah. I'm not. I'm not minimizing the help that you do give. I'm saying the little help that you give. You bitch and moan about it, so don't help. But.

[Sebastian]

Okay, then the coffee cart's never going to succeed then.

[April]

Oh, Because I can't do it without you.

[Sebastian]

You haven't been.

[April]

I have been.

[Sebastian]

You just went over how you're not making any money. And then it would have been worse if I didn't find cheaper solutions on everything that you were already doing for so long. You couldn't tell me how much their cups were.

[April]

No, I did tell you how much they were.

[Sebastian]

No, eventually you couldn't tell me how much the supplies cost. You.

[April]

You. Because I didn't have it in front of me. I'm not memorizing every single little thing. But I have things written down. You ask. We're in the middle of doing something. I can't pull it up out of my ass if I don't know it. I want to give you an exact number.

[Sebastian]

I just thought you would know the business on the back of your hand. In terms of how much? Everything.

[April]

Memorize all these things? Yeah, no, I have it written down. I'm organized. I have it written down because I know I don't have the mental capacity to be memorizing every single little thing.

[Sebastian]

Okay, you just organized. Just to say you're organized. You're not actually doing anything with the organization.

[April]

Okay, did that answer any questions?

[Caleb Hammer]

I mean, in general, honestly, guys, that's the disagreement right now. That's the fight.

[April]

That's one of the fights.

[Sebastian]

What's the other one?

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, what's the other one?

[April]

My emotional stuff. That doesn't matter.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, I guess it does if it's a fight. What's your emotional shit? You crazy?

[April]

I've been depressed. He doesn't get it. Because my brain decides not to make certain hormones. That's how depression works for some people. Maybe I'm sad. It's literally kind of.

[Caleb Hammer]

But this feels like something wrong with

[April]

my brain right now.

[Caleb Hammer]

So far it's sounding like a self diagnosis.

[April]

No, it's been diagnosed and I just. I.

[Caleb Hammer]

But he doesn't understand what's up.

[April]

He doesn't get it. He's like, these things happen and you should still be able to do everything. It literally is so hard to just get out of bed every morning.

[Caleb Hammer]

So she has an official diagnosis and you're just like, dismissing it.

[Sebastian]

So if you get diagnosed with something like 15 years ago, does it last forever? Yes. No. Maybe.

[April]

Yeah, baby, it's a diagnosis. Just because I don't go to therapy, like, regularly because we can't afford it, doesn't mean that the diagnosis disappears.

[Sebastian]

Right? And so, yes, I guess I'm completely dismissing her depression state right now. But the way that I look at it is we're not in a spot where we can just be allowing it, doing nothing. If you can identify your problem and you're not doing anything to make the problem better, then it just feels like you're an excuse.

[April]

Using that as an excuse every single day to just get out of bed and do the things that I need to do to go to work, to

[Sebastian]

do I have to do that too,

[April]

even though I want to lay in bed all day. You are not going through this.

[Caleb Hammer]

So what does that look like in the household, this conversation. Guys, how are you surviving if he doesn't even believe in your own diagnosis, how do you make it from here?

[April]

I don't know.

[Caleb Hammer]

I couldn't do that.

[April]

I don't know.

[Caleb Hammer]

I mean, a real diagnosis is a real diagnosis. Yes, I agree. There's lots of tick tock diagnoses. Like, is that not incredibly dismissive, borderline. Just bad as a partner. Is it?

[Sebastian]

Is it?

[April]

Repeat your question. I zoned out for a second.

[Caleb Hammer]

Is that not just bad as a partner?

[April]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Then why are you with someone that doesn't even believe in your own mental health? Shit, that's real. Diagnosed.

[Sebastian]

When was it diagnosed?

[April]

Before I met you.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay.

[Sebastian]

I just didn't.

[Caleb Hammer]

What's your point?

[Sebastian]

I just never saw anything or. Okay, so this is the deal. Anytime that work situations get really hard, coincidentally, something with her mental state always is correlated to that.

[Caleb Hammer]

Then why be with her?

[April]

Yeah, why be with me? Why'd you come back to me?

[Sebastian]

Because I thought things got better. Like, you talked about how you had a better work ethic. I mean, I saw that you had a better work ethic whenever you were at that trucking gravel place whenever you got the accident. But. But I just thought that things would just keep on getting better. And so, like, you taking. Wanting to do this coffee cart put you in that position, to me, was

[April]

riding on life just continuing to get better instead of, like, living normal life with somebody else as a partner where things go up and down.

[Sebastian]

I understand things go up and down. Like, I'm not Delusional. Like, not everything is always going up. But why is it every single time that you have a rough time at work, you always say, oh, I'm depressed.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, you can't use it as a crutch to fall back. If you weaponize it in the relationship, it sounds like it a little. If you have a tough time at work, you can't just be like, oh, my depression. I think it's a real debilitating.

[April]

No, it's triggers. So what triggered my depression is the fact that I'm a waitress and I have men all the freaking time, can't get a better job, hitting on me. And I tried, and he didn't want me to. He told me to stay. He didn't give a damn that I was getting hit on at work.

[Caleb Hammer]

You didn't care that she was uncomfortable getting hit on at work?

[April]

No, I didn't. Didn't. He laughed it off. He made a joke out of it.

[Caleb Hammer]

But if she's uncomfortable, that's not good.

[Sebastian]

Then why would somebody be a waitress or a bartender then if they're thinking that they're not gonna get hit on?

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, maybe. But if she's uncomfortable, wouldn't you support that?

[Sebastian]

She had another chance to get a job at a church. The church is an hour and 15 minutes away. She said she would take it if she stayed at her mom's place. That's not even 10 minutes away from there. All of a sudden, she had the chance to take the job, and she said, I'm not gonna stay at my mom's anymore if I do that.

[April]

No, that's not what I said. I said, do you actually not care that I stay at my mom?

[Caleb Hammer]

Agree on what happened?

[April]

No, he's just, like, making the words. Whatever he thought it was, was being said. But what was said is I just asked, are you gonna be comfortable with me staying at my mom most of the week and being away from home?

[Caleb Hammer]

And he said he just.

[April]

No. There was no answer. It was a back and forth of like, but you said you would be okay with that, so time out. I just wanted to know whether you cared or not.

[Sebastian]

Part of what was going on. We were actually at that conference, so it's like our biggest track meet of the year. So she was sending this to me while I was doing that at the same time, so I could have misread her text message, but I know I replied back with, the deal was that you taking this job was that you were going to stay at your mom's, right?

[April]

Yeah.

[Sebastian]

Okay, so then how Is that not an answer?

[April]

Because I was asking you.

[Sebastian]

I said the deal for you taking this job is you staying at your mom's. Okay, how is that not an answer?

[April]

That's not an answer.

[Sebastian]

A little.

[Caleb Hammer]

I mean it isn't the most clear. No, but it's like you can insinuate kind of like the his when he was trying to tell you to do

[April]

better before cared whether he would want me to come home like every other week or something. And then eventually I said that would you want me to come home every other week? And he said that. And he was like the deal was for you to stay there. So clearly you don't care that I'm not home. You don't care if you don't see me.

[Caleb Hammer]

I think dude just gets down to business.

[Sebastian]

Yeah, money's pretty important.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. Not really. You're doing D2 activities to.

[Sebastian]

Well, I said I'm also working on a way out of that too. So.

[Caleb Hammer]

Huh. But okay. This affirm has $3046.84 on it. Minimum payment is 6023 essentially. And it's for. It's Amazon, Nike, some grocery referming groceries. That's. That's where we are. Guys, come on on.

[April]

It was for the business.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, well that's stupid. You're affirming for your business. That's not a good sign.

[April]

Okay,

[Caleb Hammer]

Just business. It's all stupid. What are you doing?

[April]

I don't know.

[Caleb Hammer]

Are they all in paying for us or financed?

[April]

Some of them have been paid for.

[Caleb Hammer]

But finance are they pay in for?

[April]

Oh, finance, finance, finance, finance, finance, finance.

[Caleb Hammer]

So we're talking like a 36% interest rate. Ladies and gentlemen, for her business that makes no money. 36% interest rate. The S&P 500, one of the best indexes you can be a part of averages 10% a year. That's considered a good return. She's at a 36% loss.

[Sebastian]

Is it really that much interest rate?

[April]

I don't. I didn't think it was. I thought it was like pull it

[Caleb Hammer]

up, pull it up, pull up, put up, pull it up. And I want to see your Amazon too.

[April]

Okay.

[Caleb Hammer]

Dude, it is literally so stupid. It is the stupidest disagreement I've had on the show. A coffee cart.

[Sebastian]

What the.

[Caleb Hammer]

Out of everything we've had cheaters, we've had abusers, we've had everything. And it's a coffee cart that is causing this issue. Guys. It's so stupid.

[Sebastian]

So it should be easier.

[Caleb Hammer]

It's the dumbest thing for you guys to argue about. I Don't understand. It's. Don't get into it or do just like.

[Sebastian]

Come on.

[Caleb Hammer]

It's a hobby.

[April]

That could be a big business one day.

[Caleb Hammer]

Could be. But it's not. And you guys don't make money. So just shut the upper. Yes. 36% interest. There you go. Figured it out. You just don't look at shit. And you do it. So the big business could be someday. No, you're a big business for a firm. Okay. That's what you're a big business for. Don't even look at the shit you're doing. There's 18 things in her cart that

[April]

I'm not gonna buy.

[Caleb Hammer]

Then why is it in your cart?

[Sebastian]

So you just.

[April]

That I might wanna buy.

[Sebastian]

You didn't look at the price.

[Caleb Hammer]

Wanna buy at 36% interest.

[Sebastian]

Cause she's. Look at the interest.

[April]

I saw the total price that it gives. So if it's. It was like $26 extra. Like things like that. Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Spending so much shit on the business on here. But it's just. Listen. You're putting so much money into this business. On Amazon Affirm. Here's your things from the Amazon cart. A lot of us for the business. A lot of it's not as well. But a lot of it is. And it's just so much stupid business. Here's her very. Guys. Her super special. Nobody else does it.

[April]

I have not seen anybody else.

[Caleb Hammer]

Her special little sauce is a sauce from just Amazon that she gets that anyone else can get yet.

[April]

But they don't.

[Caleb Hammer]

So she's not like homemaking it or like. Or.

[April]

They don't.

[Caleb Hammer]

They don't. That's why. That's why it doesn't have like 500 five star reviews. You. Yes. People are getting it. Shut the off. What are you talking.

[April]

I haven't seen any other coffee shops. Do a cajeta drink girl.

[Caleb Hammer]

You live in a town with two restaurants. No, you're not.

[Sebastian]

Yeah, but your coffee shop right down the street then. And tell me that they have it.

[April]

Yeah. They don't have it.

[Caleb Hammer]

They. A singular coffee shop that I pick up.

[Sebastian]

Yeah.

[April]

Like many. I've been doing a lot of research. Not many people do the cajeta. It doesn't matter. It's just. It's a flavor. Okay.

[Caleb Hammer]

What's it called? Cajeta Mamada.

[April]

Cajeta.

[Caleb Hammer]

Cajeta mamada que mada que mata. That's what the flavor's called.

[April]

No, my. Well yeah. The cajeta period.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, there it is. Let's see. Okay. In the area there's Mignano Coffee Dame Cafe Veracruz. All natural. Which by the way, that's not even like a. That place is a chain brew at home. Yeah, no, shut up. It's everywhere. Okay, girl, you're in Texas. It's everywhere. You are what Texas looks like. Not me. You. So don't. You can't say you did your research. We just did that in two seconds.

[April]

Just because if a handful of them also do, it doesn't mean all of them.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh my God. Okay, the goal posts are really being pushed now, aren't they?

[April]

Okay, I do homemade syrups. Those are homemade.

[Caleb Hammer]

If you want to land a high paying job but don't have experience or a degree, then you need to learn about course careers. It is the easiest way to land the high paying career that you've been dreaming of. I've done financial audits for hundreds of people and what I've learned is that the single biggest factor someone can take to improve their life is getting a higher paying job. And that is why I've been such a huge promoter and even an investor in course careers. The way it works is you simply go through an affordable online course to start a new high paying career path. They teach many different in demand jobs ranging from technology, sales to accounting, construction, project management, the trades like electrician, plumbing, H Vac, supply chain and many others that can be done remotely. And the coolest part about course careers is their platform works for people who don't have any previous experience or degrees. Their courses teach you everything you need to know to land your first entry level job. And they have a 100% free introductory course for each career that teaches you all about what the job is like, how much money you'd make and how exactly to land your first job was starting from scratch. Click the link below to sign up for one of their free courses. Today you suck with money. So you download a budgeting app. You start with the classic one, Ynab, but everyone just deletes it because it's way too complicated to use. So you go to everydollar. That's Dave Ramsey, the personal finance guy, right? Well, they're going to force you to use it his way. That's not very personal finance. Rocket Money, they got a lot of commercials, but they're owned by Rocket Mortgage. Guess what they want to sell you in the end. Then there's the new guy on the block, Monarch. Hundreds of millions of dollars of private equity raising so far. But private equity doesn't have the best track record when it comes to private data. That's why I like Dollarwise. Built by these people just like you for people just like you. No private equity, no gift gimmicks, just the best budgeting app there is. Download it now. Start the free trial Dollarwise.com link in the description below. Okay, that was bought on Amazon.

[April]

No, that wasn't a syrup. Like my actual syrups are homemade.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh my goodness. Huh. One main financial. What's going on with this guys? This is insane. This is 18 $791.

[April]

All the debt we had before we got married and we had actually paid a lot of it off off.

[Caleb Hammer]

And it doesn't make any sense. I don't understand doing that. Listen, we have personal loans with incredible rates and everything@caleb hammer.com cuz I like good debt but it doesn't make sense for people like you to get into and that's what I preach. I like credit cards but not for you. You're not credit card people. This makes no sense. Why consolidated debt if you're not going to fix your behavior? Cuz then you're just going to end up with double the debt.

[April]

Yeah, at the time we were truck driving while I was still truck driving. So consolidating. We had gotten better at paying off off debt. We had actually a little better but

[Caleb Hammer]

I haven't fully fixed the behavior.

[April]

Right. We didn't fully fix it but we thought it was the right option to do at the time because we would just knock that out quickly.

[Caleb Hammer]

So why if we have this high insane minimum depayment, high balance, probably bad interest rate. Oh really bad interest rate. Basically a credit card to 24% if we have this, why the are we opening businesses that don't make money and investing money in businesses and that investment by the way is all on 2034% interest, 36% interest rate debt. Why are we doing that if we can't even pay off the previous consolidation? Huh?

[April]

Huh?

[Caleb Hammer]

Can someone answer that? We can't even pay off the previous consolidation. So we take out an investment in a business at 26, 36% interest. That doesn't make a penny.

[April]

Huh?

[Sebastian]

That is a good question.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why does anyone have an answer?

[April]

There are an answer.

[Caleb Hammer]

Is there a logical conclusion here? No, there isn't. Where is it? Tell me please. I can't find it.

[April]

I think.

[Caleb Hammer]

Inform me.

[April]

We were desperately trying to figure out what to do.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, that's not the answer. That's not the answer.

[Sebastian]

Why?

[Caleb Hammer]

No, no no no no no no no no no no no no. If you're desperately trying to figure it out why is the answer. Take out a 36% interest rate debt on something that makes $0. Please. Building a business of like. Well, there is building a business which takes money of what you did. A 36% interest debt. That is an option out there. There is like other. Another option called get a job.

[April]

I tried.

[Caleb Hammer]

You tried. No one hired you.

[April]

Literally.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. Go to another town. You guys bought in a town that has zero opportunity because you guys are.

[April]

I was applying to jobs in the towns that were like an hour away

[Caleb Hammer]

where you have to move somewhere. You have to move to DFW or something. You have to move to places with

[April]

opportunity for jobs in the dfw.

[Caleb Hammer]

Then you're a broken individual or your resume is completely broken and you just need help.

[April]

Probably.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. Everywhere, dude. Civil goat has it. And there's civil goats all over Austin. Cafe Java has it. Plaza. Colombian coffee here has it. Dame Cafe.

[Sebastian]

Oh, good thing we don't sell it all Austin then.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, but that's the thing you're saying no one has it. And that's just a little part. That's Austin is the dude. Even Fort Worth has higher population than Austin.

[Sebastian]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

This is a basic thing.

[Sebastian]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

San Antonio, Houston, Dallas, Fort Worth. All larger population cities than Austin.

[Sebastian]

Right, but we don't live anywhere near those places.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, it's an example. Because you said no one else does it. Yes. Even here in a smaller city, everyone else does it. Okay, so up near you. Yes. There are places that are not special. How much was the church willing to pay area?

[April]

It was gonna be 21 an hour.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why don't you get that job?

[April]

It was part of time.

[Caleb Hammer]

Good. That's what you need. You need a part time job on top of what you're doing instead of starting this business.

[April]

That was the goal. And I was told not to take it by him.

[Sebastian]

Weren't we just went over how. I didn't tell you not to take it.

[April]

He didn't say that.

[Caleb Hammer]

He didn't say that. Come on. We did go through that. So the.

[April]

Okay, okay.

[Caleb Hammer]

Does it make sense? You're literally your thing that is making zero dollars. You took out a lot of debt for. So it's like obviously getting a job would be better than that.

[April]

That was the only job in this entire time that I got.

[Caleb Hammer]

Nope. Actually you've made negative money, so. Nope. You made negative money.

[April]

I went to work as a delivery driver in a pizza place because there was nobody else.

[Caleb Hammer]

Perfect. That's a job do that.

[April]

Yeah, I did that. And now I'm doing more money. Than I was doing that.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, you'd be doing that in adjacent to what you're doing now. Now no coffee shop again. Her choice was take out 36% interest rate debt on something that doesn't make any money. Deliver pizza. Deliver pizza. Makes money. I would deliver pizza. Barely. Is still more money than debt. I don't understand. How can you not understand?

[April]

I don't understand how you don't see that I'm still working a full time job like I was.

[Caleb Hammer]

But instead of the cost, I'm saying you keep the full time job here and instead of getting the coffee cart, you get the part time job. It's not against your full time job. How many hours a week you're working? Not the coffee.

[April]

It varies. It's. Lately it's been. I do double shifts most of the time. Five, six days a week.

[Caleb Hammer]

How much?

[April]

What is that? Like, oh my gosh, 50. Let's say 50. 60. 50 to 60 hours a week, dude.

[Caleb Hammer]

Then you're 50 to 60 hours.

[Sebastian]

No, I don't think that's because you're only working. You're not even working the full days.

[Caleb Hammer]

Make it six.

[April]

I am working full days. I'm working two of them are like full days and then the rest you're

[Caleb Hammer]

making $8 an hour.

[April]

It's I work on tips. I work on tips.

[Caleb Hammer]

On average you're making $8 an hour. Then you need to go, guys, you have to move somewhere. There is just a certain. There is a reality. And it's capitalism, it's socialism too. Because it's still connected with. It doesn't matter. That town's not entitled to have you. You're not entitled to have that town. You need to move some more with opportunities. That's the reality. Yeah, that's it.

[April]

But that means he leaves, he makes no money.

[Caleb Hammer]

I don't give a. He'll go find literally a high school job in any large metro that will pay him double. And Texas, that's fine.

[April]

Once he gets to the point where he has a certification, he's in a D2.

[Caleb Hammer]

Bullshit. He can go.

[Sebastian]

But that's not like my issue. My issue is I just feel like I can't rely on you to do what you need to do in order to take care of your side of.

[April]

I have been taking care of my side. Bills have been getting paid.

[Sebastian]

You just. We just went over how much the infern.

[April]

No, you're gonna break it.

[Caleb Hammer]

Just put it on magnet. You know, you know how magnets work.

[Sebastian]

It's not very sticky. I just didn't think things would be falling apart.

[Caleb Hammer]

Sticky.

[April]

We don't know that it's a magnet. It's not sticking. Okay.

[Caleb Hammer]

Magnets are not sticky. They're magnets.

[April]

I didn't know it was a magnet.

[Sebastian]

So we just went over how you took out all of that money on a firm for your business.

[April]

Yeah.

[Sebastian]

So I think that shows that I can't rely on you in terms of how the money is being spent. I trusted that you had it under control or knew what you were doing with that. I guess, I mean I should have asked more questions whenever you said that you didn't have much more money left in a firm or you had so much in a firm. But that's my fault for not asking. But I didn't think that that over $3,000 wasn't infirm. Not to mention the interest rate that was on top of that.

[April]

I shown you.

[Sebastian]

I asked you multiple times how much money was being spent.

[April]

And I showed you. I literally have shown you.

[Caleb Hammer]

Sapphire preferred. What is this? What's going on?

[Sebastian]

That the leftover from that is pretty much what's like left over from our wedding.

[Caleb Hammer]

Put a wedding on, guys. You don't do anything else on debt. It still takes 2, 6 years to pay off. If you do make minimum to payments now you do a little more than that, which I don't even know if that's the right strategy. When we have other things to pay off that are worse I. E. Affirm higher interest rate and lower balances, it makes sense to pay them off in both the avalanche and snowball method. So this makes no sense. But interest is accruing at 34.56. You owe $1,540.09 at a $49 minimum payment. You've had I believe two late fees this year so far. Yeah, for why? What the is wrong with you guys? Pathetic.

[April]

That's why I started paying the bills. Cause he would have late fees a lot.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, then you're not reliable either.

[April]

Yeah, at least I pay the things that need to be paid on time.

[Caleb Hammer]

You are made for each other. Neither of you are reliable in what you do too.

[Sebastian]

Late payments isn't.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yes, that's extra money that you then

[Sebastian]

understand it was a mess up. But just saying someone's reliable for just messing up once or twice.

[April]

But it's happened a lot more than twice.

[Caleb Hammer]

Twice by the time of the fourth month of this year, which is when the statement came in fifth month. So it's like by continue that average you'd be at like 4 or 5 by the end of the year.

[Sebastian]

Right. And so that's.

[Caleb Hammer]

Except not because she took it over. Because you're pathetic.

[Sebastian]

Yeah. I just need.

[Caleb Hammer]

You can't manage it. You can't even coach your own life.

[Sebastian]

I wish I was trying to rely on her to help me out with

[April]

that, and which I do. I make sure that bills are paid on time.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. Freedom Flex. Why are we purchasing on a card that we're only making a minimum payment that is accruing interest that we cannot pay off.

[April]

Off. I think that one's mine. And it's groceries that I purchased on that card. I think. Brookshire's groceries.

[Caleb Hammer]

14 hours of groceries.

[April]

That's how little groceries weren't allowed to get groceries probably when he was gone.

[Sebastian]

I mean, it's not a strict rule.

[Caleb Hammer]

Like she sounded like. It sounded like there was an extreme lack of trust. Okay. Groceries aren't a thing you can't get. But why are you getting them on a card that you can't pay off that is accruing interest. That makes no sense. Why make it even get worse? Why didn't you have any money? Where's the money going? It doesn't make any sense. Bills, bills.

[Sebastian]

It might have been just, I don't know, other bills.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay.

[April]

Or minimums.

[Caleb Hammer]

Or like $250. Going out to eat, unknown. Shopping. Another $250. Miss. At least $100. So potential minimum $600. How can you not have any money? There you go. Spend it on. What the you talking about other large purchases? $745. I don't even know what that is. That could be. It could be. Not. Could be half. Who knows? But at least $600 on. No, you didn't have any money. Yeah, that's what happens if you spend money on $1,182.51 higher than your previous month because you spent.

[April]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Doesn't matter if it's for groceries. You chose to put it on there. And it's accruing interest. Gonna be hundreds by year end. How much you guys spend on that wedding that you had to put on a card?

[April]

Oh, what was it like?

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, you guys have credit one. Of course you do.

[April]

That was my first 15 credit 15,000?

[Caleb Hammer]

Dude, you guys couldn't afford that to

[April]

save your lives when at the time

[Caleb Hammer]

it's not even that crazy. You guys just can't afford.

[Sebastian]

At the time, we were truck driving, so it wasn't an issue.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, but why are we putting on debt then? We're still paying today because when we

[April]

got Those credit cards like that special where like we get like 5%. So we ended up getting like.

[Caleb Hammer]

You have to pay off the credit card.

[Sebastian]

Yeah, yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

But you do that, then you pay off the credit card. That's why you guys are on credit card.

[Sebastian]

If the job stuff like didn't happen, then it would have been paid off for and it would have been.

[April]

Yeah, there was a plan. We were. We were really good.

[Caleb Hammer]

Speeding tickets relentlessly and run over living things. Yeah. Who would have thought? Okay, credit one. One of the worst credit cards ever. $47.98, $30 minimum payment, interest fees. It's all. Yeah, credit wants to work first.

[April]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

It was just my first credit one.

[April]

It was my first credit.

[Caleb Hammer]

That was your first one. Living the Mexican dream, aren't you? Okay. Capital one.

[April]

Yes. Who's mine?

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. Only making the minimum.

[April]

Right?

[Caleb Hammer]

Right.

[April]

I also use that for groceries.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why on an interest accruing card? Because you don't have any money. Because we spend it on 310.98 25 minimum monthly pay payment. Very low interest accruing. 28.99 interest of death. M NMF N F M. What is

[April]

it at furniture store.

[Sebastian]

Why?

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, you guys are just. You're everything. Insurance premium. You got insurance in your seven year payment plan Furniture. You guys are.

[April]

I got that when we were separated and I was making go to Facebook a week.

[Caleb Hammer]

So you should go to Facebook Marketplace regardless. But I guys your argument for I had money so I could get it. Yet you still put it on a credit card. That makes no sense.

[April]

I paid half of it up front of the purchase I made. I didn't want to keep the same bed.

[Caleb Hammer]

Good 56 mattress. I know you wouldn't really need to or want to but like when I moved down to Austin after sleeping on the air mattress mattress for six to nine months while I was paying off debts. Then I went and got like a 400 mattress. It's not the greatest thing in the world, but I could. That's what I could afford. Do what you can afford, not what

[April]

you can't could afford it.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, because you put it on a credit card. No, because you put it on a credit card. Just like your wedding. No, because you put it on a credit card. Shut the fuck up.

[Sebastian]

Fair.

[Caleb Hammer]

$56 a month minimum payment insurance premium on it. $1254.19 owed is deferred interest accruing. No, you're grief too. Oh, you're getting interested crewing on it. Oh, because it's deferred and it Will hit. Oh, in like two months. Hundreds will be added to that balance. You guys are. And you didn't even know that, did you? No, of course not. Okay, United card. What's going on with this? Oh, we're spending on a card that we can't pay off. Is it for groceries?

[Sebastian]

No.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, great. Oh, basically max out at 4.67-69 with the minimum monthly payment of 40 at a 500 limit. What is it? A spectrum? We put our utilities on a card that we can't pay off. That is a cream interest. Why pay penalties on your. Essentially interest on your utilities. Why do that? Stupid.

[Sebastian]

I thought we were paying that off. Like I thought that. That the money for the utilities was going on there and then we were just turning around paying.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, not with your 40 minutes. You payment. I mean your utility payment is 65. This is going up.

[Sebastian]

Oh, that's where the Internet interest accrues on that.

[Caleb Hammer]

And then also this card, it must have a annual fee of like 219 or you've had late fees or both.

[Sebastian]

I got it canceled. I. Well, it was supposed to get canceled.

[April]

Nope.

[Sebastian]

We went to the bank to get it canceled and nope.

[Caleb Hammer]

You guys are so irresponsible. You don't follow anything that's happening.

[Sebastian]

Okay.

[Caleb Hammer]

Carecredit. Who's this?

[April]

Mine. And it should be zero percent interest.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, so is your furniture thing, but there's deferred interest.

[April]

No.

[Caleb Hammer]

So let's see what happens with this $3,051.05. What happened?

[April]

That was I had gotten invisalign years ago.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh my gosh. Years ago. Still paying for it years ago. Four years to pay off. You've paid interest of $141 this year.

[April]

But. So there was like two months once I lost my job that I couldn't pay. And then I made a deal with them. They closed it down and they said it'll be zero percent interest.

[Caleb Hammer]

Doesn't happen again. We have another credit one. Who?

[April]

Mine.

[Caleb Hammer]

Guys, this debt is extensive. It's both yalls fault. Don't try to blame each other like you did in the beginning. You're both$309.54. 9054 with a minimum payment of. Oh, we're past due. Oh, we're past due. Three months.

[April]

That one they had given me.

[Caleb Hammer]

It's a $30 normal minimum payment. You owe 99. Cuz. You're stupid.

[April]

They. So we did a thing where the credit protection. The credit protection. No. So they paid for the minimums for the past six months. And it was supposed to keep going and it didn't keep going. And they didn't tell me that it didn't keep going.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why should they have to tell you? Log in, manage your finances, use dollar wise?

[April]

No, I did. I called them and I said, hey, like can we get. I need. I continue need the money behind. And they said yes, that it was going to continue to happen. And it didn't.

[Caleb Hammer]

Who has $52,142 to student loans? Why are you only on a $56 a month? That's just going to accrue interest forever. You're never going to pay that off.

[Sebastian]

Yeah, I. I know.

[Caleb Hammer]

Probably income based. Because you have no income because you're D2.

[Sebastian]

Yeah, that's exactly. It's on income base. And so I was. I was making a chunk a dense into it and we're bleeping it.

[Caleb Hammer]

What school do you work at? Never heard of that.

[Sebastian]

So part of the reason why, like it's so much is that I.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why would they go D1? It's a money suck. Kids are paying more for their college so they can be D1 and fail at everything. It makes no sense. So stupid. So what degree did you get?

[Sebastian]

Communications and then a minor in kinesiology.

[Caleb Hammer]

Sure, why not? 52.149.69 minimum payment. Of course.

[April]

Only

[Caleb Hammer]

more interest accrues. Almost.

[April]

You.

[Caleb Hammer]

You more interest accrues in 10 days on this loan than you make on a minimum payment. Your minimum is 56.28 income based. Stupid. As of course. Pathetic. Yeah. Literally just went D1. That's crazy. The Southland Conference. I've never heard that in my life. Are they the worst conference in D1? They have to be.

[Sebastian]

No, there's lots. There's lots of conferences in D1.

[Caleb Hammer]

Are they the worst conference in D1?

[Sebastian]

No, I don't think so. I mean there's lots to be. No, there's plenty of other worse ones. Just because.

[Caleb Hammer]

Aren't there like 10 conferences?

[Sebastian]

No, there's lots. There's lots of.

[Caleb Hammer]

I'm just thinking about the sports that matter.

[Sebastian]

Matter? Sure.

[Caleb Hammer]

Like football, hockey, baseball, basketball, maybe soccer.

[April]

Soccer.

[Caleb Hammer]

So of the ones that matter, there's like. Football has power five. Really power four now. Really power two actually. And. And then the group of five of which the Southland does not exist.

[Sebastian]

Right. So I mean in terms of those, then. Yes, they're way worse than all of those.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh shit, that's brutal. Because like I went to a group of five school and they weren't good.

[Sebastian]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Great at hockey, decent at soccer, really bad at football. But you're telling me you're worse than them. Good luck. Why the are kids having to pay more for that? That's pathetic. Who has the chase checking account? Mine. Dude, you're literally $317. You started minus 15 divorces, man. This is the worst thing I've.

[April]

I've. What?

[Caleb Hammer]

What? Check it out. Has ever ended with $317 on the shelf. That's crazy.

[Sebastian]

Is that mine or is that yours?

[April]

No, not mine.

[Caleb Hammer]

Guys, this is insane. Something Closet Ace Hardware. Zelling out. Money. This is. Oh, then that's mine then Recurring. Netflix. Zel. Zell. Zell,

[Sebastian]

that's you. You had the Apple bill.

[April]

Is that mine?

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, you're the divorce. Her Apple bill. Home Depot. Ross stores, Marshalls. Bullshit. Affirm. Affirm, affirm, affirm.

[Sebastian]

Affirm. Mine.

[Caleb Hammer]

Home Depot. Restaurant. F. Ch.

[Sebastian]

Affirm.

[Caleb Hammer]

Amazon.

[Sebastian]

Affirm. Affirm.

[Caleb Hammer]

Stupid.

[Sebastian]

Affirm.

[Caleb Hammer]

Recurring apple bill. Started negative, ended more negative some. You've overdrafted like 30 times this year. This is insane. Your Chase not even much better. Started with six bucks, ended with 55. Or actually nope, that was her savings. Went from six bucks to 55. Even though she's overdrafting and losing all benefit. Your checking account ended with $23. Not much better. Amazon. Amazon,

[Sebastian]

I think. What's you talking about? The payments. Like what? The charges.

[April]

Sorry.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Why? Why? Why exactly seven weeks ago. Is there a $40 payment to divorce service?

[Sebastian]

Well, because it was on a monthly payment plan.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, that's your previous Peacock Marketplace. Cable. AMC bullshit. Sonic driving. Midnight craving. At least he's not going negative. But you're still spending all your money on stopping in and getting some probably some energy drinks. Get gamer substance that it tastes better. I promise. Amazon Affirm. Zell. So stupid. Dude. What? Oh, a car.

[April]

Yeah, that's her car.

[Caleb Hammer]

What is it?

[April]

It's a GMC Terrain 201615 interest rate. No.

[Sebastian]

Yes.

[April]

No, they pay off.

[Caleb Hammer]

What's the interest?

[April]

Yeah, no interest.

[Caleb Hammer]

So this is like to a family?

[April]

A friend. Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Great. $5,950 minimum payment. You sometimes do 2502-003003-00300. Okay. Stupid. Good death collections. $30,000. Yeah, for something. A car, apartment. You got repoed. Two repos. Of course you guys did. You're made for each other city. Yeah. So 30,000 repos. Insane.

[April]

That's just one.

[Caleb Hammer]

What's your other repo?

[April]

Both of them are under him. Yeah, both of them are under him. What was.

[Caleb Hammer]

Where's the mortgage? At a 7.3% interest rate. Jeez. Yeah, I would sell this. You'd get a lower rate anyway. Well maybe not with your guys credit. $172,657.34. What's the house worth?

[April]

We bought it for 179 monthly payment.

[Caleb Hammer]

$1,751. FHA. All right guys.

[April]

So even if we wanted to sell it we can't until next year cuz we got to wait three years otherwise we pay the minimum.

[Caleb Hammer]

You guys do that. Why harm yourselves with the home purchase? Americans obsessions hurt them constantly. It's so stupid. Makes no sense. Because they're financial mortal morons. I'm so done. I'm so done. So income. Oh your side job doesn't count. 4,100. All right, let's get these debts. Obviously we know the mortgage. That is 1,751 collections. Nothing could sue you for that. Should sue you for that. You know they'll garnish your wages potentially they'll get a court order. Seen more and more of that on the Caleb Hammer show. Link below. People are loving that that we thought

[April]

that they're like insurance or whatever. What took care of that. When cars get repoed and it just like shits on the credit and disappears.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, as far as I know I don't know what you're talking about. Is there something I'm missing here? Something different happened that I wasn't aware of?

[Sebastian]

No, we our my thought was we can barely afford it as is like we could so we had to do something to get rid of it it And I'm going to follow up with them to see what I need to do to like do like low monthly

[Caleb Hammer]

payments because what's your gas, electric utilities, everything combined.

[Sebastian]

303. 300. 300 to 400.

[April]

300. Yeah. 350. Okay. Phone bill 375.

[Caleb Hammer]

What's wrong with you guys? Once you pay off your phone, switch the helium. If T mobile is good in your area it follows that same kind of

[Sebastian]

service that's with your family and everything, right?

[April]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well do they pay you? Oh my goodness.

[April]

When I can't pay gas.

[Caleb Hammer]

A broom. Broom. Drive. Drive. How much?

[April]

It ends up being about 60 a week. No, not even 250 a week because we don't drive that much. 250 a week.

[Sebastian]

50.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh okay. 200 bucks. Car insurance 163.

[Sebastian]

Okay

[Caleb Hammer]

guys, your house is literally worth. Yeah. What you bought like you would have to write a check to sell your house even after the three year thing. Okay. Necessary food, 600 bucks. Use the meal Plan. Use the meal prep that's based on AGB pricing. It's perfectly fine. Walmart, all that good stuff works. TP fun. Anything else needed to survive? Toilet paper, toothbrush, Changes every single month. What the category is for, but it is $200. Medical Healthcare. Their co pays monthly basis.

[April]

Oh, yeah. So it goes through his.

[Caleb Hammer]

What's the co pays on a monthly basis?

[April]

20.

[Caleb Hammer]

What gym? Is there a gym? No. Okay. Subscriptions? I'll try to give 40 bucks. You have any pets?

[April]

Yes. Two.

[Caleb Hammer]

What?

[April]

Two Marky Boos.

[Caleb Hammer]

$100. Pet insurance. How much for pet food?

[April]

50amonth.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. Anything else that needs to be in this budget that I have not taken into account for. If you guys even break even, I will be so surprised. But if you do them, these are some big numbers. Big numbers.

[April]

We've considered bankruptcy.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, that literally might be the only option. Yeah, you guys are underwater by 1,400amonth. 1,300. No, not bankruptcy. Unless you can follow your budget and actually prove you change your behavior for at least a quarter for three months. If not, you'll end up back here on the show again in two years. We've seen it before from other bankruptcy people. Oh, yeah, we've seen it before. You're not special. So you have to change your behavior. Or some consolidations. Those work too. But you got to change your behavior first. Or better yet, listen, even just renting somewhere cheap in a place with opportunities while you pay on this mortgage for a year, then cut your loss, learn the lesson and literally just go make as a household 8,000 hours a month because you too easily can and you'll be fine. You'll be able to pay off the stat a few years and then shut the up and don't make these mistakes again. You guys live in the literal middle of nowhere. Tyler's the closest large town. But I have your address pulled up and you're literally nowhere. Like you have to move to a place with opportunity. This is the reality of the situation. This is pathetic. That's it, guys. That's it. Hammer Financial score. Yes, this is. You guys are spending in a budget. You overspent. 0 to 10 debt, there's collections. 0 out of 10 emergency fund, there's nothing. 0 out of 10 retirement. I didn't see anything. 0 out of 10 real estate. least you have something. But it's break even. You have no equity position. You'd have to. At least you're in the market. That's what matters. But it is still not great. 3 out of 10 it's the only thing that's going to give you anything and not be a zero. Hammer financial score score rounded up just barely one out of ten. Get yours at Caleb. Hammer.com join us for the post show. There's some interesting things we're going to talk about. Listen. 120,000 active members for a reason. Three premium shows every single day, six days a week. It is the best there is. Click join to join here on YouTube or you can go on the Hammer Elite app or hammer elite.com wherever you want to be. Same membership in all places. Love you See in the post show. Show me your resume.

[April]

I thought it was a great resume. Everybody assures, well that's my boy and

[Caleb Hammer]

I getting the job. She's a. She's a. She's a server. She has a two page resume.

[April]

No, but that. How can you tell me you think this is a good resume? I haven't been a server before.

[Caleb Hammer]

Shut the up. You should have a one page resume.

[April]

Okay.

[Caleb Hammer]

You're not a C suite. That's one of the most hilarious resumes ever. That was almost worse than Brent. I just launched the brand new Hammer Elite app. Available on every major platform. So you can watch every show anywhere you want. You'll get three exclusive dedicated, dedicated shows every single day, Monday through Saturday. Refer a friend after you sign up and you get an additional 30 days of hammer Elite access for free. Download the Hammer Elite app by using the link in the description or pinned comment down below. This is the best membership you'll ever join and that's a promise.