I Kicked Off His B*tch Wife | Financial Audit

Summary

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Financial Audit with Caleb Hammer

Episode: I Kicked Off His B*tch Wife
Date: December 8, 2025

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Overview

This episode of "Financial Audit" with Caleb Hammer features Mia (37) and James (28) from Hutto, Texas. The couple presents a chaotic mix of personal stories, religious beliefs, troubled financial behaviors, and candid confessions about past mistakes. Caleb brings his trademark bluntness to dissect their finances, challenge their choices, and attempt to instill some financial discipline. The episode oscillates between humorous, confrontational, and shocking, ultimately highlighting the urgent need for the couple to take control of their finances and lives.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Introductions and Early Chaos (00:00-03:00)

• Immediate tension and a chaotic energy, with Mia and James frequently interrupting each other and the host.
• Early discussion about faith—both claim Christianity "isn't a religion."
• Caleb repeatedly tries to establish order:

  "Let me talk." (00:29, Caleb)
  "Get the f*** out of my studio." (00:32, Caleb, to Mia after excessive interruptions, which is repeated at the end)

2. Background and Relationship Dynamics (03:01-14:00)

• Mia works at a dental office front desk ($26/hr, 40 hrs/week, started recently). She’s high-energy, formerly smoked cigarettes, now vapes for anxiety.
• James works in a Kratom warehouse (approx. $23-26/hr, weekly pay), formerly in prison, just out since Feb '23.
• Their relationship is recent: married August 18, 2025, after knowing each other ~2 years.
• Mia's family structure is complicated: 5 kids, 4 baby daddies, multiple kids cared for by others (her mom, James' grandparents).
• Mia is a Christian rapper and has strong outspoken beliefs about her faith and parenting.

3. Career Instability and Attitudes Toward Work (14:01-30:45)

• Mia has had 7 jobs in ~18 months—she claims she refuses to "take s***" and leaves jobs when mistreated.
• James reveals that Mia is "not long-term employable" with this attitude; Caleb points out the unsustainable work pattern.
• Discussion of Mia's failed attempt to start a dental consulting business, with a half-finished Wix website.
• Frustrations over wanting "financial freedom," but zero evidence of discipline or savings to back it up.

4. Religion & Community Engagement (07:01, 33:00-40:00, 55:00-59:00, 60:00-63:00)

• Heavy recurrent discussion about faith, Christianity, and community evangelizing. The couple regularly preaches in local parks, approaches people with a loudspeaker, and claims to have cast out demons.
• Tensions flare with Caleb over their desire to perform public ministry in peaceful neighborhoods:

  “You’re just wanting to do it and you’re using that as an enablement to do so.” (63:31, Caleb to Mia)

5. Substance Abuse History & Recovery (17:46-22:20, 55:00-60:00)

• James openly discusses his former meth addiction, beginning with his father, and subsequent 15-month prison sentence.
• He attributes weight gain in prison to depression and inactivity after his mother's death in prison.
• He’s been clean since 2022, aside from vaping.
• Mia defends James’ historic meth use as “understandable” given the grueling hours of shrimping/boating work.

6. Financial Disarray: Income, Debt, and Spending (26:06-44:46, 51:00-104:01)

• Household income: ranges $4,000-$4,500/mo (both jobs combined), but wildly unstable.
• Household debt: $27,823.53 and as high as $40,000+ when considering personal/family loans.
• No budgeting; money is spent as soon as it arrives, with frequent borrowing from friends, family, and even employers.
• Regular spending on nonessentials: eating out (17-18% of their income), energy drinks, nails/lashes, novelty/sex shops, fast food.
• Highlighted quote:

  "You spent 60% of your income not spending 60% of your income on miscellaneous." (52:36, Caleb)

• Heavy use of revolving debt, cash app borrowings, and payroll advances (Gusto).
• Frequent overdraft and collections: $8,050 in collections, with some due to unpaid medical, rent penalties, or braces for her kids.

7. Personal Loans & Enabling from Family/Friends (70:33-84:28)

• Owe $2,600 to a neighbor/employer who "helped out" on rent; Mia owes $5,000 to her mom for a now-sold Camaro and another $5,000 to her daughter's father for a current car.
• Other debts: $500 to grandmother (bailing James out of jail for disorderly conduct), $1,800 to brother (support during prison), smaller amounts to siblings, and $3,000 from a very old friend’s loan.
• Both admit their support networks rescue them repeatedly, which enables their bad behaviors.

8. Climactic Confrontations & Caleb’s Assessment (94:43, 102:19-103:10)

• Caleb kicks Mia out of the studio—twice—for being "too annoying to have a conversation with."
• Blunt financial assessment:

  “Hammer financial score, unfortunately 0 out of 10.” (103:13, Caleb) “You bounce around… you’ve been trying it for years and you have a wix.com unpaid for site.” (35:42, Caleb)

• Caleb restates: if they continue borrowing and behaving this way, they are at constant risk of homelessness.

9. Budget Assignment & Action Plan (97:31-101:13)

• Caleb lays out a strict survival budget:
  • Rent & utilities: ~$2,200/month
  • Groceries: $650/mo (for two adults, one child)
  • Transportation: $200 gas, insurance covered by baby’s father
  • Pet care: $100/mo insurance, $50/mo food
  • Miscellaneous/TP fund: $175/mo
  • No subscriptions over $40
• Prioritize paying off Wells Fargo ($1,485) and building emergency fund ($3,700 for 1 month; target 6 months, $22,000).
• Recommends both take his budgeting/debt classes (free to them), use financial tools, and work together before planning for more kids or bigger financial steps.

  “There is no point in doubling your income if right now you do not follow this budget together...”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Memorable Quotes

• Caleb, on Mia’s job-hopping:
  "Seven jobs in a year and a half. Crazy. You could never build a career off of that." (27:14)
• Mia, about her employment:
  "I don't take nobody's s***, period." (28:05)
• Caleb, on their financial situation:
  "This is how close you were (to being homeless)... and still, you will leave this job—batting average, let’s go!" (72:02)
• James, on his brother relapsing:
  "My whole life, the examples I was given is what not to do. And... him doing that, he's teaching me a lesson in itself." (79:41)
• Caleb, assigning a financial score:
  "Hammer financial score, unfortunately 0 out of 10." (103:13)

Memorable/Confrontational Moments

• Immediate chaos:
  Multiple early interruptions, culminating in:

  "Get the fuck out of my studio." (00:32, again at 94:47)

• Religious debates, public loudspeakers:

  "I would snipe you from my house...if you are actually disturbing the peace from all the nice, peaceful children." (60:06, Caleb)

• On borrowing and enabling:

  "We have lifelines." (71:51, Mia)
  "Only takes so many times until people will not lend you money. Then we're talking payday loans...then you're gone." (72:04, Caleb)

• Spending on nonessentials:

  "You spent 60% of your income not spending 60% of your income on miscellaneous." (52:36, Caleb)

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Timestamps of Important Segments

• Religious life and evangelizing: 07:01, 33:00-40:00, 55:00-59:00, 60:00-63:00
• Mia’s chaotic job history & attitude: 26:49-31:16
• James’ substance abuse, recovery: 17:46-22:20
• Debt breakdown & spending habits: 41:02-44:47, 52:00-54:00, 70:33-84:28
• Caleb's intervention & financial plan: 97:31-101:13
• Final assessment and zero out of ten score: 102:19-103:13

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Tone & Language

The episode is marked by confrontational humor, blunt honesty, and a no-nonsense approach from Caleb. Mia and James are open, unfiltered, often defensive, and prone to tangential or chaotic storytelling. The tone vacillates between candid vulnerability and almost-comedic absurdity—a signature of the "Financial Audit" show when dealing with particularly challenging guests.

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Summary Conclusion

Mia and James are in a financial and relational crisis made worse by personal chaos, impulsive spending, loan dependency, job instability, and a lack of financial discipline. Caleb Hammer, through direct questions and hard truths, attempts to hold up a mirror to their reality and provide an actionable survival budget and resources. While they express good intentions and desire for change, the episode ends with serious doubts about their ability to implement sustainable improvements—unless both partners take his warnings and plans seriously and work together.

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Transcript

[A]

To watch episodes of financial audit a week earlier. Check us out on YouTube.

[B]

For my man, I'm his playground. But he wants two kids. Already have five.

[A]

Is a religion a big part of Yalls life?

[C]

Absolutely not.

[B]

Religion, not religion. We're just Christian.

[A]

That is a religion.

[B]

No, it's not a religion because God is not a religion. It's Christianity. Sounds on.

[A]

It's your third marriage. Is. You have four baby daddies and he's not one of them. So there's two out of wedlock. Very against your religion.

[B]

It is. I'm not religious.

[C]

Look, I tried to, but we. Hold on, babe. Hold on, man.

[A]

Let me talk.

[B]

No, but he said.

[C]

Shut up.

[A]

Get the out of my studio.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yes. You're too annoying to have a conversation with. I am not kidding. I want to make him a budget.

[C]

Sit down.

[A]

And I hope it works. No, she's gone. My Black Friday site, Wide blowout is live. You can get 20% off everything in the store with code BF20. That is 20% off courses, merch, and even the brand new master your money membership. But don't wait too long. This sale ends at Midnight on Friday, December 5th. Happy Black Friday and enjoy your savings.

[B]

Hi, my name is Mia. I'm 37.

[C]

Hi, my name is James. I'm 28 and we're from Huto, Texas.

[B]

And this is financial aid. Do we do it again?

[A]

It's fine. No, we got to fix that. We're not doing student loans. We're not doing that.

[B]

Kind of keep saying that. Let's do it. Financial aid. Like a grant. Okay, do it. Let's do it again.

[A]

Hoodo. I'm glad you guys came over from hoodo audit.

[B]

Okay, I got it.

[A]

Yes it is.

[C]

I'm not doing anything.

[B]

Why?

[A]

We're already in it. We're in it. Oh, we're in the conversation. Thanks for coming over from widow. I really do appreciate that. What do you do for a living there? Let's start with you, Mia. Cause you're right in front of me.

[B]

All right, awesome. So I actually work for a dental office. And I am a front desk.

[A]

Uh huh.

[B]

So I check in and check in patients.

[A]

Do you sound like this all the time?

[B]

I'm super bubbly. If I don't take my medication. Like I'm high energy all day.

[A]

No, like the throat cancer sound.

[B]

No, I don't. That's because I smoke vapes. I recently started. Cause he and recently started.

[A]

You picked up a bad habit?

[B]

Well, I used to smoke cigarettes, Capri sun, you know, Capris and everything. Because I smoked. Sorry, Capri. The little. The little cute little dainty cigarettes. I just never heard of this time ago. Then vapes. Okay, whatever. Then vapes are, you know, the trend. So I vaped. I stopped because I sing. And so it made my voice a little better. And then he was vaping. Then I was like, give me some of yours. And. And I started to get.

[A]

Why. Why would you. Why would you want it at 37? What a habit to pick up at 37.

[C]

She vape.

[B]

I have anxiety and it helps me out sometimes.

[C]

We vape cuz we want to vape, dog. That's how it goes.

[A]

Well, I get it. You're not making it past the age of 30. That's.

[B]

I'm not going to blow up. And I've seen the news and everything like that.

[A]

What we.

[B]

But we did say that these were our last vapes. Because we're getting back. Listen. No, because we do sing for the Lord. Yes, we do. And I cannot. My voice is not like this.

[A]

Are you guys traveling Christian singers?

[B]

Yes, I am virtuous.

[A]

No way. You're singing. Do you hear this?

[B]

Yes.

[C]

She really has a beautiful voice, bro.

[A]

You rap for the Lord?

[B]

I rap for the Lord, you know? Look at that.

[A]

Can you give me a rap?

[B]

My God picked me up and he saved me from the fire. Passing tests and trials. Yeah, he took me higher, higher. Meditate on his word. He is the God that I serve. Jehovah, Jireh, Elohim, Yahweh, you heard? He is the truth and the life. He came to set me free. So pick up your cross and follow the king. You can't get to the father. See you come to the light. Not my power, not my might, but the spirit. He gave me something that I forgot the words.

[A]

Yeah, okay, okay. Wow. Now does that not scare people away from the church?

[B]

No, it doesn't. Because there's a whole community. Lecrae and Bizzle started this as a huge community of Christian rap. When you look it up, they go hard. You think Lil Wayne and all them. They sound just like them. What we do is we.

[A]

Yes. That sounded just like Lil Wayne.

[B]

So watch this. Cardi B. She had money moves. I literally switched it up to godly moves.

[A]

Are you getting a bbl?

[B]

Yes, I am. I already got that, but I want a little enhance it.

[A]

Did you really?

[B]

I already got what I got. And it's.

[C]

No, no. She's saying what she has is natural. She wants more. Yes, I'd say for the Lord.

[B]

Oh, for my man. I'm his playground. But he wants two kids. Already have five. Right. So I'll give him even three because I love kids.

[A]

Are you guys married?

[C]

Yes, sir. Yes, sir. We got married on August 18th of 25.

[A]

Okay. So yeah, new marriage.

[C]

New marriage, brother.

[B]

New marriage.

[C]

We've known each other for like almost two years.

[A]

Yeah, he went a lot younger.

[B]

He's 28. I'm gonna be 38.

[A]

Usually women marry older, men marry younger, he marries older.

[C]

I'm into, yeah, 50 years, 18 year olds. She's not my mom. She's 10 years older than me.

[A]

No, she is a mother.

[B]

You know what I said?

[C]

But. But like, my whole goal in life is to lead moms. There you go. I'm with it. I'm with it. What's wrong with that?

[B]

No, our TikTok moms.

[A]

No plug.

[B]

No, we had a TikTok. You know that TikTok trend.

[A]

Oh, no plug.

[B]

You know that tick tock trick Whenever you're running that tick tock 10 Whenever you're running like. And you make like.

[C]

Oh, suspect challenge is what she's talking about.

[B]

I don't know if you know what that is, but it was hilarious. I'm like, oh, and he likes old ladies so that he can steal the kids snacks.

[A]

How much do you make talking to people at the dentist and then rapping to them on the way out?

[B]

Watch this. I don't rap on them on the way out. Some of them already show their stuff. But we don't just automatically rap, you know, because of course I have to come in there professionally.

[C]

Make how much?

[B]

No, he didn't say that. He said. He said something totally different. What'd you say? Right Now I make 26 now, but I have my own six an hour.

[A]

A dollars an hour. Okay, very good. How many hours a week?

[B]

It's going to be 40 hours a week. I just started on October 16th.

[A]

Well done. Good.

[B]

I used to make 35, 40 an hour. I'm a business woman, but I got screwed over by a doctor. Virtual dental consultants. I'm working for doctors in the background because all they want to do is go and be a doctor and be a dentist. They don't want to have to do the background business. Claims, insurance, accountant. I'm all that. I have a good mindset. But I'm a spender, so I can't get to my goals and my dreams.

[A]

Oh, I have a note. You're suing your past boss.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

Knowledge. Because he didn't let you rap.

[C]

She.

[B]

Because she didn't pay me.

[C]

He's Never going to let the rap thing go.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, I can go off right now on her on a rap, but not really. Okay. Anyways, I got Right.

[A]

That wouldn't be for the Lord. That would be for.

[B]

Exactly. She's going to get roasted too. Because I aim for the Lord. But we're human and she messed me over. So in that case, yes.

[A]

My favorite biblical passage. Get revenge on that.

[C]

Hey. But Romans 3, 3, 23 is for all have sinned and fall short of the glory.

[B]

So watch this. I already got what it is, so.

[A]

Let me go sin then.

[C]

No, it's saying. It's saying. It's everything. Everything that you do is paved, brother. That he knows we're going to make mistakes. I'm not saying it's right.

[A]

I feel like you're setting yourself up to allow yourself to make mistakes.

[C]

No, because later. Later on in that. In that passage he says but through our faith we receive his. His mercy and grace.

[B]

Yeah. So anyways, if I was a religion.

[A]

A big part of Yalls life.

[B]

Absolutely not religion.

[C]

Not religion.

[A]

I'm getting it.

[C]

We're just Christian.

[B]

We're just Christian.

[A]

That is a religion.

[B]

No, it's not a religion because God is not a religion. It's Christianity. It's not non rational. There is Lutheran. There's Catholic. When you read the Bible.

[C]

Can I say something?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

We believe that Jesus came to the earth in a man form. He was crucified and rose from the cross.

[A]

Not David Ramsey.

[B]

What are we.

[C]

But you asked us if we're about Jesus and we're just like.

[A]

I just asked if religion was a big part of your life.

[B]

It's not religion.

[C]

So how can we not talk about that?

[B]

And what he says endeavor, we follow it.

[C]

But the Bible and Jesus is all that we care about. We don't care about the money in the church, brother.

[B]

Listen. We're human. And so this is my thing.

[A]

You don't go to church.

[C]

We do.

[B]

We do. But if somebody messes you over here, I'm the biggest. Karen. I'm not going to get that until I sue the lady for what she did, which I'm doing. Small claims court is only 5,500. That I can do.

[A]

Are you here to convert me? What? I feel like I'm being.

[C]

Oh, if you want to do that, brother, we're here.

[B]

Yeah. And we're not to convert you. We don't know who you are, what you do or what. Yeah.

[C]

What do you believe in, Caleb?

[A]

Huh?

[C]

What do you believe in?

[A]

I'll talk about that. Because I want everyone in the audience. It doesn't matter what you believe. I believe in not your finances. And it doesn't matter what religion you are.

[B]

Let's talk about that.

[C]

Unfortunately, we have not believed that in the past, but we're trying to now.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

Well, no. Yeah. And that's, I guess, why you're on the show. Oh, oh, oh, oh, wow. So God told you on Sunday.

[C]

It sure did.

[A]

Come on. Financial audit.

[C]

Sure did.

[B]

It's an application.

[A]

Two days ago.

[B]

Crazy.

[C]

Sure did. Yeah. We were a mile away when I applied for that.

[B]

We didn't even know that we were preaching the gospel to all these gangsters on the east side. Used to be pleasant crips over here, but now it's cleaned up.

[A]

Yeah. I assume. MLK Boulevard.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

All right.

[C]

It's like a mile away.

[A]

That's mlk.

[B]

He's like, oh, my God.

[A]

Actually is.

[B]

He's like, I'm not gonna be there before in the past, it was bad.

[A]

Well, no. We accidentally did play tennis once at that park, and it was.

[B]

Oh, my God. Yeah, but they're all cool. They won't mess with you.

We got you back. They're cool.

[A]

We were intimidated.

[B]

They had dogs and everything out there too. All their pits.

[C]

They're playing dominoes.

[B]

I'm over there, like, what's up?

[C]

You know, you can smell the weed. It's.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, there's Dr. Yeah, exactly.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

But that's where you go. You go to the trenches to save souls because there's the ones that need the help.

[C]

Back to our 5.

[A]

People live in the trenches.

[B]

Well, it's called the trenches because it used to be the east side. There's still about that life because there's still some there back. It was. It was Crips and blood and gangs and stuff in the east side. Super hard. Now Austin is trying to drive it out.

[A]

And you spoke tongues to them.

[C]

You casted out demons, though.

[B]

Casted out demons. We preached the gospel. We went around and talked to them when they were playing dominoes. And they're all hard because they're from prison. But I'm.

[C]

What it is, is we were witnessing. We're saying, hey, we are not ashamed of this. And just because you're doing what you're doing, you don't have to be ashamed.

[B]

Because we have a past, too. You don't even know who I was. Yeah, Reyna, okay, whatever. I'm not like, anymore. So what it is, is, like, you changed. So we're changed people. So now we're changed, and we Want financial audit, not aid.

Oh, my God.

[A]

What. What hits your account per paycheck? And what's that paid paycheck cycle right now?

[B]

It's. It was only. I just started October 16th. Okay. And so my pay cycle right now is every 15th and every end of the month, whether it's 30th or 31st. Okay. $26 an hour. I don't really know. I usually make like so much more, so it'd be like, you know, probably like 5,000 plus, plus bonuses. I know, but I left.

[A]

How much does she make, dude? What will hit her account?

[C]

Dude, she makes 26 an hour. She makes 40 hours a week. She gets paid bi weekly. But she's never had. She's never had a full check because she just started on the 16th of October.

[B]

Right. But. But monthly I will be making probably less than that because I'm going to get. I have child support for my kid and so 26.

[A]

You have to pay child support?

[B]

Yes, because some idiot like that you.

[A]

Allowed to nut in you.

[C]

Absolutely.

[B]

That. Actually, I moved with my husband. That was a blood. Cause he went to prison and got shot.

[A]

Why do we keep getting back to gangs? I'm trying to stay alive here, lady.

[B]

This is the thing. And he was like, that guy's not gonna be around my son. And I'm like, okay. He spent the rent money, so we had to move with his sister to Alabama. Okay. So that he could become a barber.

[A]

Wait, how many baby daddies do you even have? 4.

[B]

5. Next.

[A]

And yeah, what does the Bible say about that?

[B]

He says to multiply the earth, but. And I was married to all of them practically.

Because it was like, you know, two.

[C]

I'm pretty sure I'm like her sixth marriage or something.

[B]

Bro, you're my third. Shut up. Three strikes and I'm out, bro. I was literally. If I wasn't going to meet him, I was literally done with it. Body dumb. My youngest.

[A]

It's your third marriage because you have four baby daddies and he's not one of them. So there's two out of wedlock. Very against your religion.

[B]

It is. I'm not religious. It's not religion. But the thing is, is that it's because you don't understand unless you read the Bible. Anyways, who cares? God is an evil. He doesn't read the Bible because God was not Catholic. The Romans sent him. He's the one that got on the cross. Right? The Romans killed him because they were Catholics. Okay.

[C]

Don't look at me.

[A]

I don't know what this has to do with out of wedlock.

[B]

Out of wedlock is in the Bible. And you said religion.

[C]

We just own it. Four baby daddies and four kids. And it's okay. Five kids. It's okay. I just own that.

[B]

Five kids. Yeah, they're awesome. They're amazing. But the thing is, they all wanted. They all wanted a baby with me.

[A]

And we're.

[B]

And if you want to have a baby with me and you're married, you want me to stay at home and be a wife and you want to be a changed man, I'm going for it. But if you.

[A]

What, you just accept it like that?

[B]

Yep.

[A]

In a couple years. That many people.

[B]

Yep. No, I'm 30.

[C]

They were all gapped out, though.

[B]

They were all gapped.

[C]

17. Huge. Like, okay, she has 21 and then 15, then 9, 10. Those are the same guy. And then our two year old.

[B]

Now, that wasn't supposed to. Supposed to be here. She's with.

[C]

They're gapped out. It's not like she question if this.

[A]

Was a good choice the third time. The fourth time.

[B]

No, because they treated me like queens until the end.

[A]

Huh. But that happened multiple times in a row.

[B]

So I'm going to give him a chance until.

[A]

Giving him a chance is popping out.

[B]

A baby because they want it. I'm going to honor my man because he's treating me like a queen in that moment. I'm going to honor my man because.

[A]

Well, I guess that goes good for you if you want one. Cuz she's not going to hesitate.

[B]

I'm a beast at popping them out, period. And I'm cool with it. And I love the kids and I'll have kids.

[A]

You're approaching the end, though.

[B]

Yeah. And I know that. So I told him a cap is 40. And I'm like, okay. Kourtney Kardashian and Travis had a baby. She was 42. I'm like, okay, I'll cap it at 42. If we don't have kids past that 42, then we ain't having kids. And he's adopting my daughter.

[C]

I mean, her kids are my kids. I don't care.

[B]

Yeah, they literally love him and call him dad.

[A]

Cool. Well, yeah, that's good.

[B]

So, yeah, we're babies and we love babies. We can. I can literally have five more. Yeah.

[A]

Can she have five more?

[B]

Yep.

[C]

Dude, she can do whatever she wants to do. I guess.

[B]

I'm a strong woman.

[A]

That's not how that works, but.

[B]

It'S super easy.

[A]

How many kids are you trying to have?

[C]

I want one brother, but. But honestly, she wants three and I think that's nuts. But at the same time, we have three.

[A]

You want to go?

[B]

Listen, two of my sons already have college tuition paid for, period. Because they're adopted by my mom because their dad's a jerk. And for them to not be in the school.

Watch this one.

[A]

Why'd your mom have to adopt instead of.

[B]

Because their dad is a crap. I couldn't do it because he has got into our lives and if I was married to him, they're like, if you want to keep your kids, you have to get a divorce. He did not want to divorce me because he wanted to have different hoes in different area codes, period.

[A]

So we're adding three more, going up to eight.

[C]

I just want one. I just want one.

[B]

You know, I want two boy and a girl. I have to. He's a redhead.

[A]

But if it's two boys or two girls.

[B]

Two boys and two girls. Perfect. Twin. And twins. Four. We're good. Five. Five in the house.

[A]

Okay, here's the deal.

[C]

Here's the deal.

[B]

16 year old grandparents are super rich. They're taking them to Spain. And college is paid for. So I got three kids, college paid for. My daughter's 21 years old. She's good.

[A]

Okay, so everyone takes care of your kids besides yourself.

[B]

Wait, what?

[A]

What?

[B]

What'd you say?

[A]

Everyone takes care of your kids except for you?

[B]

No, I take care of all of them.

[A]

You just said they're all taken care of because of other people.

[B]

No, they're taken care of because.

I got stabbed. I got backstabbed. My son's 16 year old son, right? His dad effed me over and said that I relinquished my rights as a mother to go to Alabama. I got served with papers.

[A]

Why would you want to go to Alabama?

[B]

Listen to me. Because.

[C]

No, because he was with the other dude, the other kids and the other.

[B]

Dude, he spent the rent. We had to move to Alabama with his sister so he can go to barber school. I was pregnant with two kids back to back. So in that situation, we only have.

[C]

One kid living in the house that's two years old.

[B]

He was tatted up from face to toe. I'm talking about his eyelids. Say carpe diem. He look, looks like crazy, like Barker. Like Jelly roll. Okay, so my parents, I don't know.

[A]

Any of these people.

[B]

My parents were like, oh my God, who is this guy?

[C]

Jelly Roll?

[A]

The dad, I've heard the name.

[B]

The dad was like, oh my God, who is this guy? He looks crazy. And I'm like, he's sweet and nice and cunning, right? He was a narcissist. Anyways, when that happened, he wanted me to be a stay at home and have these kids. So I have these kids. They.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

See, wait. CPS got involved, all right, because he's an alcoholic. And my mom called and she didn't want them to be with us. So in order for that to happen, she had to adopt them so they would be in the system. Who would I have them with? The system or my mother? So that was a wise decision.

[A]

What medication are you on?

[B]

I'm not going to tell you all of that. I'm not disclose it. But I do have anxiety and other stuff too.

[A]

And did you take it?

[B]

Yes, I do. All the time. But I'm always all the time, every day. And he even knows what she takes.

[C]

Her anxiety medicine every day. But her like her mood stimulator and stuff.

[B]

Because I don't want to go to sleep early at night.

[C]

It makes her a downy. Like, I'm sorry, but it makes her.

[B]

Like, no, because I take. I take a drug at night and.

[C]

So I get pissed off. I'm like, what the is wrong with you?

[B]

Just forget it. I take Seroquel, okay? At night.

[A]

I don't care. I actually don't care. I was just joking that you're kind of crazy.

[B]

I am. And so. But a good crazy now. But see, Seroquel, if you take it at a later time, Seroquel stays in your body from 7 to 8 hours. Right? Has to literally take it. I have to literally take it at 8 o'.

[A]

Clock. Can I let you know fun fact, actually real quick.

[B]

What?

[A]

I don't give a.

[B]

Okay, but I don't either. But you asked. Look.

[A]

No, no, no, no, no, I did not.

[B]

It stays in my system. And so if I don't take it the right time, I'm slurring my words and I'm falling over when I get up, period. So yeah, that's what I'm taking at night.

[C]

Because then I got to ask why.

[A]

You don't give a 26 about what medication she takes. Okay, well, it does not matter.

[B]

Who cares?

[A]

Cuz I was joking, okay?

[C]

About how well you got to know that that's nothing is a joke with us because we are nuts.

[B]

Okay? Anyways, I make $26 an hour.

[A]

Oh, 26. Okay, 26 times 40 times 52 divided by 12. Take taxes, take things out. You're likely making about 3,000 bucks a month. Okay, great.

[B]

That's 80 hours. Right? Like, you put in. It's every two weeks. Every. Every two times. I give. Okay, you got it. You're the smart one. Okay. I forgot. Okay, go.

[A]

And what do you do?

[C]

I work in a warehouse, man. I'm a package and shipping. Like, I'm getting orders out. I work in a Kratom warehouse.

[A]

You're physically working?

[C]

Absolutely.

[A]

Why are you so fat?

[C]

I gained about 100 pounds in prison because my mother died in prison. I did.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, what is this conversation?

[B]

His mother died while he was in prison, bro. He's depressed. He's like, commissary.

[C]

There's. Hey, honestly, like, I'm still. I'm kidding.

[A]

I didn't mean to call you fat, but guess.

[B]

What? And he's in center field. College football, bro. Like.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

He just got drafted to a new team.

[A]

I mean, you'd kill it on the line.

[B]

He does. I love being fat in the US.

[A]

You love being fat?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Why that, actually? Have you tested your cum?

[B]

Have you seen Deadliest Catch?

[C]

I know. Like, stop. I wasn't this fat until I was. And so now we. Now it's time to do it. Yeah. Oh, you say, oh, but it's a real thing, bro.

[A]

Have you ever been to prison?

[C]

Have you ever been to prison?

[A]

No.

[C]

Has your mother died?

[A]

Not yet.

[C]

Okay, well, do those two things at the same time and you tell me what happens.

[A]

I don't want to. Why'd you go to prison?

[C]

It doesn't matter about drugs.

[A]

Hey, Sally. No, I don't.

[B]

No, no.

[C]

Just like, like, just. Just. Just the act of doing that made me wild out. And so.

[A]

You wild out, you're sure Was. You're a.

[B]

He used to be. He's out of method.

[A]

Method or Christianity?

[C]

I was Method.

[A]

That is your classic pipeline.

[C]

No, I was Christian. I've been saved since I was 7 years old. My parents were on.

[B]

It's called backslide.

[C]

You know what I mean? It is what it is because I've.

[B]

Been on my own.

[C]

I've been on my own since I was 15 because my parents were on. And the first time I ever tried was with my father.

[B]

Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, That's.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So. So.

[A]

So I'm glad you're not doing meth anymore.

[C]

The only thing that I got out of it was being fat.

[A]

Yeah, Look, I'm good about you being fat.

[C]

I'm just saying, though, like, that. That's why I said that I'm comfortable with that because, dude, the person I used to be versus who I am now fat.

[A]

Well, I agree. I just want you to be around for your kids past the age of five.

[B]

Exactly. And they will be.

[A]

So when did you get out of jail? Prison?

[C]

February of 23. And then I met her in like, March.

[A]

How long were you in?

[C]

15 months. I had a two year sentence.

[A]

How was it? Texas prison.

[C]

Texas prison?

[A]

State prison.

[C]

It was tdc. So it's not state jail, but it's like. Yeah, it's not federal, so. Yeah, state.

[A]

I heard it's. Honestly, I hear federal's okay.

[C]

I had a kitchen job and I was.

[A]

Oh, I'm sure.

[C]

Smoking K2 and doing dumb shit. And you're a What? Yeah, smoking K2 and cigarettes.

[A]

What is a K2?

[C]

K2 is synthetic marijuana. That's how they.

[B]

That's like, oh, there's so much in there.

[C]

It's just like. And then like. Honestly, my cousin's dad was like ten bunks down the way from me. And so it was when my uncle was there, it was like, what's up? Fighting people and. Yeah, exactly. When I didn't have it, he had it. I mean, like, don't get me wrong.

[A]

And you're clean now.

[C]

On what? I don't do anything. Weed, nothing.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

I saw vape. That's it. I don't even drink.

[A]

Oh, I'd rather you vape than for sure.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

How long have you been off?

[C]

Since I went to prison. I went to prison in.

February of 22. I got locked up.

[A]

And how long were you addicted?

[C]

7Ish years.

[A]

That's crazy.

[B]

Didn't sleep for like.

[A]

That's wild, dude.

[C]

I would stay up for months, bro. End of sea in the Gulf of Mexico.

[A]

Is it easy to get methane hodo?

[C]

I've never got it. I don't want to. I don't do that. I have my wife.

[A]

Wait, where were you?

[C]

I was in Crystal Beach, Texas, because he's a shrimper. I'm from the coast.

[A]

You're a shrimper? You were smoking on a shrimp boat?

[B]

Yeah. You have to be up for seven. Watch.

[C]

Sorry, Chris, but yes.

[A]

Oh, your boss did not know. He's not your boss anymore.

[C]

I thought we were smoking.

[A]

Oh, and he's okay with that?

[C]

No, he just like. He would just call us crackheads. And I'm like, yeah. Ha ha ha. Because it like, you know, it was like a passive aggressive thing. But he was so wrong.

[B]

They literally shrimp at night.

[A]

Oh, they were all.

[C]

Me and Waylon were. Yeah.

[A]

So when I eat my shrimp.

[C]

No, honestly. Honestly. But think about what the Vietnamese people are doing. What are they Doing anthrax soy sauce in each other's mouth. I don't know. They're doing some crazy Indians cook with their.

[B]

With their feet. I mean, come on, dude. Yeah, Tick tock.

[A]

So I guess let's. But every time.

[C]

Every time I was on the boat, I was moving on, dude. Moving on. No, no.

[A]

I wanted to say I'm proud of.

[B]

You for getting off, but what does that do? It keeps you up. You have to. I know, but watch this. There's no time to go to sleep.

[A]

Are you defending math?

[B]

No, I'm defending the fact that because they're on the shipping boat and if you watched this catch, they're literally working all day long and all night and get like 30.

[A]

Were you arguing against.

[B]

I'm arguing against that.

[C]

She's defending me.

[B]

It's funny.

[A]

What? He did it. I was complimenting him for getting off of it.

[B]

Me too. And it's a thing. But that the reason why he did it too. On the boat.

[A]

It doesn't matter.

[B]

To catch more sugar can make more money.

[A]

Oh, shit. So he could spend it on math.

[B]

Yes, he did.

[C]

Exactly. Or meth horse.

[B]

Well, he bought the mustang. So anyways, whatever.

[A]

So you got. You got thick in jail. Usually people get fit in jail, right? Isn't that the stereotype of these things you didn't enjoy in the. The whites, the woods?

[C]

I got a lot of friends that are even outside, like in the free world. Yeah. But no.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

I'm like solo.

[A]

Solo.

[C]

I don't get down with gangs. That's just like. The point of that is to take your. Tear you down.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[C]

Yeah. Anyway, Yeah, I make 26 or 23 an hour packing.

[A]

Yeah. What again?

[C]

Like, Like Kratom? Yeah.

[A]

Should you be around Kratom?

[C]

Actually, it got in. It got in my lungs and I was in the hospital for like. I went to the hospital three times. And so like they like. I used to make 40 hours, but now I'm only making 24 because there's.

[A]

A kratom factory in Hutto, Texas.

[C]

It's actually 15 minutes away from here on Cameron making Kratom. They ship it in from Indonesia.

[B]

We pack it, make it.

[C]

And then like before I was before putting in bags and shit and mixing it and stuff. But it got in my lungs and it made me really sick. Where I can breathe, dude, I was too. And so I. I ended up quitting. I ended up quitting and then I was like, wait a second, I can't do that because my wife doesn't have a job texting My boss. I'm like, hey, can I have my job back? He's like, yeah, but we're not going to put you in the clean room. We're just going to put you shipping. So Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday, I'm just putting shit in envelopes, boxes. Da, da, da. So when I do have an interview for UPS or orientation for UPS on the 13th of, like, in two days.

[A]

Do you have a felony?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And. But they care. They.

[C]

They don't. Because it's seasonal warehouse work.

[A]

So. It's seasonal, but it's.

[B]

He works.

[C]

I have to do something.

[B]

You know what I mean?

[C]

I have. I have to find another way to make.

[A]

But you're. You're away from the inhale. Sorry.

[C]

Okay, yeah, but. But. But there's not. There's not enough for me to do if I'm not packing that powder, so that's why I'm cut down to 24 hours.

[A]

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[C]

And no, I'm not starting an only.

[A]

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[C]

Oh, you see what I'm saying? So I have to, I have to find another part time or another job completely because I don't have enough money right now.

[B]

He can work for 40 hours that he can get there, but he's only going to do like packaging kratom for like on, just on a Monday. So if he can minimize that, then he would be okay.

[A]

So what is your account? Like 2,000 bucks a month?

[C]

Dude, it's probably like. I think the past two checks I had were like.

In the threes, bro. 3,000, 3,300. Because I get paid every week. Exactly. And then like I pay into my 401k with 4%.

[A]

I'll say 1500 for now. Hoping we get a little back, but okay. So that means the house. Why didn't you have a job? He had to go back because you didn't have a job. Why didn't you have a job?

[B]

Me over?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And she literally.

[A]

I saw a note somewhere. It popped up. You've been just. You've been blabbing so much that I miss them sometimes. Oh, you've had. Since he met you a year ago, essentially a year and a half ago, you've had 13 jobs.

[B]

Yeah. That's an understatement.

[C]

That was dramatic. I said that. But she's probably had.

[A]

Is it an understatement or dramatic?

[C]

It was dramatic. She probably has. Literally, if you count them, it's seven. I've done it before.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Seven jobs in a year and a half. Crazy.

[B]

I mean, a lot of money though.

[A]

You could never build a career off of that.

[B]

Of course. But I'm not gonna deal with doct who don't appreciate a Hard worker and that say that they're gonna come and say.

[A]

That's interesting that it's happened seven times in a year and a half. Almost like it might be on you.

[B]

It is on me because I don't take no shit.

[A]

Right. Very employable, very doable.

[B]

Whenever you do have the money and bonuses get back on. I was a treatment coordinator for my sister. Was actually my boss for. For braces. No, it is good. We were awesome. We're like super tight. But yeah, it wasn't good at the end. That's why I'm not there. But anyways. But anyways. We were making money hourly. Like $28 an hour plus $1,000 on each. Five offices that we worked at. And we literally killed it and was making a thousand. Top of that. Yeah. So I was.

[A]

Why are you leaving jobs every two months?

[B]

No, I was actually there for like more than that. I don't take nobody's shit, period. If you can treat me like bitch whenever I am doing.

[A]

Yeah, but what do you consider as being treated as a bitch?

[B]

I don't care.

[A]

I have. I see your personality.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I feel like you think almost anyone's.

[B]

A bitch, but I am too. And I have that face.

[A]

Well, we know that might make you not long term employable, but how the fuck are you ever going to. That's not your goal? To be able to take care of the bills?

[B]

No, my goal is to be a financial freedom, financial aid. But I have. I have. I have goals to be out of that. That's like.

[A]

Wait, wait, wait. What? What did you just say?

[B]

I want financial.

Audit. Right. To help me budget this to budget.

[A]

But we can't budget off of a lack of income because you leave every two months.

[B]

Exactly. But I have goals that I'm gonna get to.

[A]

What are your goals?

[B]

So if at first I have, like I said, my business, I can make 5, 10 with five doctors working back for them. It's $25,000 a month that I can make. Okay. I have that business.

[A]

Has she done that yet?

[B]

I have a wix, a WIX account. I got my own cards.

[A]

WIX account. You're talking wix like the website built?

[B]

Yes, I did that. I have business cards. I've actually done everything in the state, though. Yes, it is. I have my LLC and everything. I went for that, but that was during COVID and I work for that for a couple months. But I haven't gone through it because I haven't had a savings to be able to actually put my whole work. And I can't get a loan because my credit alone.

[A]

Alone for what? For the business.

[B]

Yeah. Okay, well, hey, I don't have knowledge. You though, you're gonna. Okay, you're gonna help out.

[C]

Dude, we've never tried to budget. We've never tried to budget. We've never monitored our spending. We never. We never.

[A]

Why not at least try?

[C]

Because neither of us care.

[B]

We are love and we got money.

[A]

You don't care, then what are we doing?

[C]

No, no. That's why we're here. Because we want to care. I've anything in my life so when I have money, I just blow it.

[A]

On whatever I want.

[C]

And mostly it's her.

[B]

I love the dental field because I'm very knowledgeable. I'm in there for since like what, 21 years in the dental field doing all types of stuff.

[A]

23 years of no more than three months at a time.

[B]

But yeah, whatever. You don't know the rest. But I have been.

[A]

It's going off your words. What's your website?

[B]

My website is. It's virtual. What's off now? It's like, I haven't done it.

[A]

We have a call from you. When it comes to this, you and your work. Slavery is over.

What the does that even mean to you?

[B]

Oh, I don't want to be in cage from nine to five. That's why I started a business. But then what?

[A]

Oh, good. It's like, how are you ever gonna pay bills?

[C]

She's the. The one that she is talking about specifically. Listen. The one that she is talking about specifically because her. She doesn't remember what she said there she was working, making salary, but she was working like 13 hours a day. She wouldn't come home until like, you know what I mean? And so that's what. Yeah, exactly.

[A]

People do that all the time. I don't give a paying bills or not. You're taking kids or not.

[C]

What I'm saying is though, you asked a question and that's specifically talking about when she said slavery.

[A]

Choosing to work a job that you chose, accepting that contract that you chose.

[C]

But she left that thing that she chose.

[A]

Yeah, but you not without something else lined up. Did you have something else lined up? I don't think.

[B]

Yes, I do. I.

[A]

What? He had to go back to work at Kratom.

[B]

Okay, but watch this. I have so much experience. My resume is like top notch. Okay. Because of all my experience.

[A]

Oh, I have your website.

[B]

Okay, cool. There you go. Look at it. I did that my whole self. I did all that.

[A]

Yes, I'm very glad we have.

Dentalcon.

Site.Com forward slash website.

[B]

Well, I gotta perfect it and I did. I am very witty on that.

[A]

That's something easy to call out.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

But yeah, okay. Eliminating stress from dental dentists since 2015. Yeah, well you have a whole plaque and everything you made.

[B]

Oh, I did all that. I'm super witty. I'm graphic designer editor.

[A]

And it says that you didn't even pay for it because. Oh my gosh, there's something in my nose. It says this website was built on wix. That's permanently at the top of your website.

[B]

Well, because I haven't made it my domain yet because I can't. How you have to pay for it monthly. You know I haven't. I put that to the side because I just had a two year.

[A]

Who we are. We are a Christian based religion.

[B]

Virtuous religion.

[A]

That is religion. Christian is religion.

[B]

So we're Christian. And then I want them to know whatever religion. No, I want them.

[A]

Sure. But you're very much limiting your.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

Clientele. You want to limit your clientele.

[B]

I. No, I don't. But I haven't worked at it because I don't have.

[A]

We can help your practice grow. Operations, leadership development, staffing, marketing. Wait, you do that?

[B]

I do it all.

[A]

Remote billing, which for some reason is in bold. The rest were not.

[B]

Yeah, because I couldn't do your whole billing and your whole accounting.

[A]

Really wanted to focus on that by bolding it.

[B]

Yeah, because they can know that I'm a B.

[A]

Said it mostly looks like an error. Okay, well I can unbolt technology a book. Your free personalization one hour assessment. How often do people click that book now?

[B]

Well, I haven't. I haven't utilized that.

[C]

I'm never our partners.

[A]

You've partners with all of those?

[B]

What is it? All the dental.

[A]

Very dental thing in the world.

[B]

No, it's called like obadinl. It's all the softwares that you use about that I know how to use.

[A]

Meet our founder and CEO and one employee.

[B]

One employee. I don't even know what that is. But I'm the one employee for now. Oh, that shouldn't even be on there. Yeah, I want you to edit that.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I don't think you've seen it, have you? It's on my phone.

[C]

Yeah, I sure haven't. I don't.

[A]

I'm just confused again though because how the are we going to get anywhere here if you cannot hold down a damn job? And we know this isn't paying the bills. That's not bad.

[C]

I feel like that's a part of like what I need to do though too, as well.

[B]

As soon as I left.

[A]

Do you leave jobs every couple months?

[C]

No, no, what I'm talking about is.

[A]

Maybe I had to go back because you didn't have a job. Well, guess what?

[C]

There's no reason my wife should be making more money than me is what I'm saying.

[B]

What do you mean by that?

[A]

What do you care about that?

[C]

No, I'm saying like, like if she wants leaving the job, I should be man enough to just be able to at least pay our bills.

[B]

Dog, he's, he's, he's.

[A]

I don't think that has anything to do with you having a dick.

[C]

No, no. I just feel like in my own heart though. In my own heart though, like I'm not a macho man. I'm just saying like in my own heart, like, because like a lot of the times that she did leave her job, I was like, leave. Because I was tired of hearing her say, I want to quit, I want to quit. I want to quit and leave. You know what I mean?

[A]

I agree. She's annoying.

[B]

I want to be a stay home mom.

[C]

But I mean, she is, but she's beautiful. Look at her, man. I mean, how do you not.

[A]

The thing is, we live in a dual income society today. It's not the 1950s when we move.

[C]

Sorry. When we moved into the apartment, we were supposed to split it down the middle. And now I've borrowed to do pay.

[B]

But then I was the one paying for everything. And I got the apartment myself, but she did, but like I gave him a car, gave him about 15, 15 washes whenever he got out of prison.

[A]

Is this a competition?

[B]

No, but I just want to know that he is taken care of. And if he don't got it, I got it.

[C]

If I got it, he got it. There's nothing that like, like there's nothing that is bad about me paying all the bills just because she didn't have it right. Okay. I'm supposed to be able there to back it up, but that's not what we agreed on.

[B]

My dream is to be a stay home. I'm 19 kids, my 19 kids.

[C]

On the amount of money that I'm making now, I could still pay my half of the rent.

[B]

Going to be on the Bering Sea. If y' all can hear that right now. Yeah.

[A]

What the is going on?

[B]

He's going to make tons of money there. Millions that usually like 14.

[A]

Okay, so you guys have absolute. Okay, you guys. Okay. You, You're a mess. And that is what's destroying you. Come on, let's be honest. You cannot stay. I'm someone who gets excited about things and I pursue them. That is one of my flaws. But at least I. At least the 90% of the time do them and do the work that is required to get there. Or at least give it my all. If I fail, I fail. You bounce around your.

[B]

This is my. My dream. This is my dream.

[A]

You've been trying it for years and you have a Wix.com unpaid for site.

[B]

And I'm going to get a domain if I want that. If he can make more money to support me.

[A]

Okay, and how can you with felony?

[B]

Because you can get expunged.

[A]

The thing is, what are you doing to get it expunged?

[C]

I don't need to get it expunged. I need to get my twit card so I can go to like a tobo or something. But we have just moved in together in June.

[A]

So like we're my guy, we live in hoodo.

[B]

He is going.

[A]

We're not on the ocean.

[B]

We will be. No, no, no.

[A]

But, but like we're moving to the ocean.

[C]

Dude, listen, listen. She's saying listen to me.

[A]

Mute yourself.

[C]

Babe. Hold it down just a notch, please.

[A]

You also want to have three with him.

[C]

So look, I grew up on boats, so that is my passion. It technically is fishing and shrimping.

[B]

Right.

[C]

But since I came here it hasn't been lucrative and it came between us that all off in order to go like. Because I've never been anywhere except for where I was from. This will be.

[A]

Does that not make you nervous?

[B]

Exactly. Yes.

[A]

What?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

No. And that's back in the environment.

[C]

And that's why I don't do it. But here's the deal. If she wants you to do it. Listen, no, shh. What if I get my twit card?

[A]

Both of you, shh.

[C]

If I get my twit card, I can go to Houston and get on a towboat and then just go down the intercoastal waterways.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

And they're drug testing me. This is all like. Like I'm going into federal or you know, international ports and you can't around on that type of. And so. And I'll be making starting out like 30 something an hour. Then you move up through the company. You get your Tankerman then. Yeah. Now you have your six packs license where you're driving the boat and just. You know what I mean? That is the path that I need to take. But we just got together and I just got out of prison and I haven't had. You know what I mean? You see what I make on paper. I can't how my TWI car is going to cost like and then.

[B]

But I would buy that.

[C]

How much? I forgot exactly how much. But the application's like 100 and then it's like. And then it's a couple like, like I think it was like 600 or something like that.

[B]

The swit car was cheaper. But the other thing.

[A]

So you're going to move to Houston?

[B]

No, no, I, no, listen, I don't.

[C]

Well, Crystal beach, she would drop me off in Houston and I would get directly on the boat. She would pick me up in two weeks.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Cuz I would stay in Huto.

[A]

What Even on the. Just up and down the canal is like a two week mission.

[C]

Exactly. Like, like say we'll go. We'll go from Houston, then boom, we'll hit Port Arthur and then we'll go all the way back to say like.

South Texas, like Brownville or whatever. And then we'll come back like it's, it's just. You're just. It's like a.

The best way to explain it is like an 18 wheeler in the water.

[A]

I got you. I got you. You know the captains that do like party boats on Lake Travis make a lot of money.

[C]

I've applied to that. And, and I have, I have enough.

[A]

What?

[B]

He ain't seen acid cities all day.

[C]

I have enough seats.

[A]

They don't get naked.

[C]

I have enough seat time to. I've applied.

[B]

He doesn't go to strip club.

[C]

She is very insecure. I have a lot of jobs that I've applied to on deed for that but. But there's so much trust in that that my background flunks me every time.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I shook hands with the guy and he hired me. Boom. And I was going to have access to boats and it was going to be a part time weekend gig making fifteen hundred dollars.

[A]

How do we get it expunged?

[B]

I could look into it. It's easy money. Yeah. How much? 5,000, 6,000. I talk to a lawyer. But I have a lawyer.

[C]

I'm on probation right now.

[B]

I have to pay for that.

[C]

I just got off of parole. I got out of prison on probation and parole.

[B]

But you're still gonna expunge.

[A]

How long is parole?

[C]

Probation. 28th. February 28th.

[A]

It's not bad.

[C]

Yeah, but, but that's money too. I wasn't too.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. I mean that's hard Obviously you did the thing that, I mean you, you got your punishment. It's fine. And I think, I think we should punish people and I think if you do it at least two more times, we should probably lock you away for life.

Two more times.

[C]

Hey, we should do it now.

[A]

It's because like, like 80% of crimes committed by people that have done been arrested for crime three times or something like that. If you lose it, I'm done.

[C]

I went to prison for eating a bag of weed.

[A]

Well, okay, I wouldn't lock you away for that. Okay, but you said, you said you were like on a big thing cuz you were up and. Yeah, but I just, I thought maybe you were violent.

[C]

No, no, I wasn't violent and I wasn't stealing or anything like that. I was just doing drugs and having drugs on me and, and being with different women, that was a it, huh? And being with different women, that was it.

[A]

Being different women.

[C]

Being with B.

[A]

Stick it in.

[C]

I love it. That's over with now.

[B]

It's over. We have a ring. No, he's not available off the market. So am I. Buy.

[A]

That's fake, isn't it?

[B]

Of course.

[C]

Off.

[B]

We're broke, dude. Hey, but I got a gold one that's nicer. But I'm silver. I'm matchy. So yeah, I go with what I'm wearing. Usually wear gold. I can go as my dude.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So what's going on? What are we dealing with today?

[C]

Dude, we are like I'm only in debt a little bit. I thought like originally we came on financial audit because I thought that I needed an audit, but technically my wife needs financial exorcism.

[A]

Do you guys not have it together? We're not. No, no Finances together.

[C]

Finance like, like we're not joint in anything but like we know of everything about everything. Why? Because we don't have it. What's the point of being joint when you're, when your account's negative?

[B]

You could still write down. I did have. I wanted to get that budget book that I saw on Tick Tock but I never did. So we do. There's like a budget book that you can like budget.

[A]

You get the premium version of our dollar wise budget now forever.

[B]

I used to have that or whatever. And so I was going to start doing that, but then we're like, okay, we know how much we make. Let's just bill it. We just, we just pay the bills. We just live paycheck to paycheck.

[C]

And dude, I'm like, it sounds thrilling.

[B]

It is.

[A]

How Much debt does the household have?

[C]

I have like 1500. She has like almost 9000.

[A]

How much debt does the household have combined?

[C]

Probably almost like. Well, if you include the people that I owe, like individually, probably like 15 to 16,000. Thousand.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You'd say that as well.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

27, 823.53. Oh, wow. The household income ranges from 4 to 5, 4 to 4, 500amonth. Oh my God.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

That's the ratios like we're done and then our rent.

[C]

And you are. That's our rent. You know, our rent. And everything's on there too.

[A]

So what can. On the debt?

[C]

No, no, you know what we're paying out and.

[A]

Well, I haven't even said that yet. We'll get. How much would you make from being the tower, the 18 wheeler of the seas?

[C]

I'm gonna say probably starting out about five a month.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

But like my buddy, like my good buddy of mine, he probably makes like 150 a year and he can get me on immediately.

[A]

Boom. Yeah.

[C]

So I just need it. You know what I mean?

[A]

And does he do drugs?

[C]

He doesn't.

[A]

Okay, good.

[C]

He's a very.

[A]

I really don't want to see you get back in that environment. I really don't want you to go back.

[C]

It's not an option. I'm way beyond.

[A]

I agree, I agree.

[B]

But it's still beach. Crystal Beach.

[A]

Well, Crystal beach has the word Crystal in its name, so.

[B]

Exactly.

[C]

My dad used to say he's the deacon of the Crystal Methodist Church.

[B]

Not be with a man that does that because I'm not. Yeah, exactly.

[A]

I agree, I agree.

[B]

Yeah. So it's not happening.

[A]

So what the. So you said there's only one kid to move, but you have.

[B]

It's just one kid.

[C]

We have one kid in the house.

[A]

Where are they?

[C]

One was with her parents.

[B]

Told you earlier.

[C]

One is with our parents. The other one. No, two is with her. Her parents. One is 21 and the 15 year old is with. His 15 year old is with his grandparents.

[B]

Grandparents. Because the dad just went to prison for a year cuz he got caught from the FBI doing.

[A]

Doing what? Stuff, the f. Trafficking. Human trafficking. No drugs.

[C]

It doesn't matter.

[B]

Never. Human trafficking.

[C]

This was not human.

[B]

I was passing kids and passing drugs. Yeah.

[A]

And then kids.

[B]

No kids.

[A]

I thought you said kids.

[B]

I said, said. Wait, what?

[A]

Immigrants. That is kids. That's human trafficking.

[B]

No, it. No, it's not bad things.

[A]

Sexual.

[B]

That's bad things.

[A]

It's still trafficking humans, isn't it?

[B]

Mexicans. I was transporting Mexicans.

[A]

Mexicans aren't humans.

[B]

It's not. You know what?

[A]

You were transferring Mexicans.

[B]

I did a whole bunch of.

[A]

What? The only other time I've heard that in my life was literally last week that I filmed.

[B]

Literally. I was ra. Literally. My dad is.

[C]

Here's the deal, babe.

[B]

Right hand man of Chapo. El Chapo. It's on the news. Anyway, that's over with.

[A]

Am I going to stay alive in the coming weeks after this conversation with all the gang talk and chaplain talking new people?

[C]

You are.

[B]

This is gone. In 2009, when I had my son, I stopped all that and got into.

[A]

Dental field, and you can't stay in it. Okay, so I'm sorry, what?

[C]

Okay, but here's the deal. When I think when I met her and she was working with her sister, how long were you there?

[B]

I don't know, like eight months or nine months.

[C]

Okay, never mind. Never mind.

[B]

Yeah, it was.

[A]

Never mind.

[C]

Swear.

[A]

So what do the finances look like in the household when we have conversations? When we have. I know. We don't budget.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

What do the conversations look like? Finances in the house.

[B]

Just paying bills.

[C]

Yep.

[B]

We owe this and this. Let's pay this.

[A]

So we sit down. Nope. Nope.

[B]

We're just like, hey, this is due. This is do.

[C]

This is do.

[B]

Get this, get this. We just pay it.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

I usually. Usually how it's done. Like, okay. In the past. In the past month. Okay. Last month I did borrow my whole amount. Okay. But the month before that, when I was paying it by myself and she wasn't working, I would just Apple pay her.

[A]

Boom.

[C]

And she would just pay because I was having to pay it weekly. My whole check was going to it. Boom.

[A]

No conversations are done, though.

[B]

No.

[A]

We don't even talk about finances.

[C]

Usually when we do.

[A]

What about spending outside of the bills? Do we not talk about it?

[B]

Because we just spin. He spends because we just don't care.

[C]

Because we're not like, it's. It's.

[B]

We just spend because we want to spend. If I want.

[C]

Exactly.

[B]

This. This is sheen.

[C]

Our conversation.

[A]

Look here, Caleb, you're bragging about Sheen, Caleb.

[C]

Our conversation will be like, well, we need to pay this, but we also want a cheeseburger. And they were like, it's okay because we're. You're going to get paid on Friday. And the next thing you know, we spent half of the rent money and I'm not going to even make the.

[B]

Other half on the Friday at my apartment. So it's their fault that they have a bill. So we can pay payments.

[C]

That was a terrible thing.

[A]

It's not an expensive place.

[B]

Dude, you're asking.

[C]

I disagree.

[A]

Okay, objectively, nationwide Hutto is not an expensive place.

[C]

Okay, yeah, yeah, but like you're going off some like geographical.

[B]

This is. Well, it's like. It's like 15.

[A]

What?

[B]

Our rent fluctuates of 50 to 1900 for a little bitty modern.

[A]

How does your rent fluctuate?

[C]

Our water bill is included.

[A]

Sewer.

[B]

And they add all this crap.

[A]

That's not rent and trash.

[C]

No, but it's included in our rent.

[B]

Yeah, it's not totally right at all. I literally want to buy our light bill.

[A]

But what's your portion of rent outside of the utilities?

[C]

What do you mean?

[A]

What's the rent number? If. If we took away water and everything? It's for a house.

[C]

No two bedroom apartment that our daughter lives in the closet of.

[B]

Of.

[A]

I thought you said house. No, no, no.

[B]

I want. I want a barn. A minum house. Like I want to house.

[A]

This is also the second time I've ever heard this word. And it's in a coming. I swear. People just come on in there, but they have the same brains.

[B]

Me and him just got together. We moved in, barely. June 13th together.

[A]

We got married in August.

[B]

August 18th.

[A]

Is that not moving a little quick?

[B]

Super quick. I'm going to be 40s.

[C]

When you know, you know.

[A]

I mean, so it's for the baby. When you know, you know. You've known four times previous.

[B]

It's okay. They all wanted something. They all.

[C]

But here's the deal.

[B]

I'm gon a man a chance who says they want to be this and do this.

[A]

Yeah, but you're committing to a lifetime commitment. Let me ask.

[C]

I need to ask her a question though. Okay. What he's saying is like, you've committed four times, but don't you agree that this is different?

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

Why?

[B]

Because when you know we're both on the same page.

[C]

She didn't know in the previous. In the past. Maybe not this. What I'm saying is like. Anyway, moving on.

[B]

No, no, no, no. If you done, I'll f up a long time a bunch. But if a man. I don't know, like I'm with this guy, I'm thinking he's gonna be amazing. Right?

[C]

There we go.

[A]

That's what I'm saying.

[B]

Listen. So who wants to be lonely? Who wants to know?

[A]

I'm not saying be lonely. But you got married after a month of moving in.

[C]

No, but we had known each other.

[B]

It was not that first sight.

[C]

We had got engaged.

[B]

I don't care who he was.

[C]

And we got engaged like oh, you.

[B]

Haven'T had that yet. Love at first sight, huh?

[A]

At first sight. Yeah, I've had at first sight.

[B]

Well this is love at first sight. Differently.

[C]

Was that men or women?

[B]

And it was that too move.

It was love at first sight. And love that that same too. Cuz I surprised we met on Facebook. Dating.

[C]

I had just got out of prison and we met like and then it was just like we never wanted to be away from each other.

[B]

Blue eyed guy just like him. Because I went in high school. Oh my God. As soon as he messaged me I was like you're my dream. And he was like all right, let's go. And I called him.

[C]

Yeah. And the way very weird.

[A]

You have a Mexican last name but you're the whitest person I've ever met.

[B]

Exactly.

[C]

To be honest with you. You, you should look see a picture of my dad. He's like way darker than you.

[A]

Just got full white DNA.

[C]

Well, guess what? That's me.

[A]

I'm not complaining about it.

[B]

I said now I'm gucchers. I'm like I'm Mexican again. I'm Mexican again.

[C]

Well like I, I am. There's a portion of me that is hispanic but it's only like my dad's half so tangly. I would be a quarter.

[B]

A quarter. You're so cute. We haven't done the whole thing about.

[A]

Like why do we think I'm gonna go so. 3, 2, 1. Point. On point. I want you guys to give me what you think your household financial score is.0 being the absolute worst.10 being the absolute best. Okay. Does that make sense?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

You'll say it at the same time when I point to you.

[C]

3, 2, 1, 0.

[A]

Ken. If you want your Hammer financial score, get it for free@caleb hammer.com Take the assessment. See where you stand in the world of money. Where you need to improve, what you need to do to improve it and where you're already doing pretty okay. Just takes a few minutes. And again it is free. Caleb hammer.com and if you don't want to be like a guest who ends up on this show, make sure you download the dollar wise budgeting app. New features being launched every single week. It's incredible. Tens of thousands of subscribers for a reason. Check out the free trial, see if you like it. And if you do, sign up for the annual version and I will personally sign this cookbook and mail it directly to you. There's a Budget Friendly cookbook. Great for your budgeting app. Okay, so dollarwise app for that. All the links are in the description below. Why do you think it's a three out of ten? He thinks you guys are dead. I get zero. Why do you think it's a three? Remember that doctor's appointment you're supposed to make like 11 months ago? Yeah, the one you said you'd handle after the holidays. Then something happened. Then summer and now it's peppermint latte season again and you're still dodging that dentist. Zocdoc makes it stupid easy to knock this off your to do list before the year ends. It is a free app and website where you can find in network doctors, see actual appointment slots and book one before you finish wrapping your third gift. Need a dermatologist to look at that zip before your mom points it out? Or a mental health check before your in laws arrive. Zocdoc has you covered with over 100,000 doctors across every speciality and appointments that usually happen within 24 to 72 hours, sometimes the same day. Which is crazy. It is what I'd use if I needed to book a doc fast. Stop putting off those doctor appointments and go to ZocDoc.com Caleb to find and instantly book a top rated doctor today. That is Z O C-O C.com Caleb Zocdoc.com Caleb Club let's get back to the show. It's a win win. You get money and I get money. These are called affiliates and you get that sweet, sweet cash for signing up for some amazing products. The first one is Chime. This is a checking account that I personally use and you get up to a $350 bonus with a new Chime checking account and earn up to 3.5% APY on your savings. And second, my investing app of choice these days is Webull and get a 2% match on all of your money that you transfer over. And finally second up for automated investing with acorns. Typically the sign up bonus is only five bucks but with my link you get twenty dollars. Ladies and gents. You get money, I get money. Enjoy. Links are in the description below.

[B]

Because we do man Trout, we do manage to stay afloat.

[C]

We're borrowing too much, huh?

[B]

We kind of manage to stay afloat.

[A]

Okay, I have overdue and over limit on multiple accounts.

[B]

I'm just saying we're not on the streets and we don't live in a tax. Yeah, we're never gonna.

[A]

That's what everyone says until they do People get put on the street every day.

[C]

I've been on the street. I was on the streets for years.

[A]

Exactly.

[C]

It happened.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

That's not how that works. Like I mean I could be on the streets. I could literally lose everything somehow.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

There's always a way, right.

Guys, we know how much comes in on a monthly basis.

What went out? Well, actually no. What came in last month's the was two. No, cuz that was cash advance. That doesn't even count. What came in last month was 1,500. Yep.

[C]

And our rent is that. I mean more.

[B]

Guess what? He has an awesome.

[A]

How much was spent last month?

[C]

If you can include our rent and stuff. Yeah, we spent all that on, on think number wise like I probably spent like if you include our rent. Yeah, probably like.

I would say what 2,000 plus the.

The 15, right? You said just about. So about 3,500 bucks.

[A]

What do you think more?

[C]

We actually more. It's probably 4, 500 bucks.

[B]

Probably almost 5,000 I guess.

[A]

What the is wrong you and you accept that you're okay with that?

[B]

What is it?

[C]

Can you tell me what it is?

[B]

I don't.

[A]

3095.

[C]

So I was right on with what.

[A]

The are we doing?

[B]

We're doing, we're doing this because.

[A]

But if you don't care, why do I.

[B]

Well, I'm just saying. Well why, why do you.

[C]

Okay, okay, okay.

[B]

I care in a sense. But like if he wants something and I want.

[A]

You're a mother. I am. You should care. I do indicate. Great.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I'll be honest.

[B]

Totally understandable.

[C]

That's why we're here, Caleb. I mean Jesus, we don't.

[A]

I know why you're here.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Okay. You spent 60% of your income not spending 60% of your income on miscellaneous.

[C]

Yep. I, I, I told, I told the.

[A]

Producer that going out to eat was 17%. 17% of your income. All while we have debt. Can barely set up a life for our children outside of what other people are doing.

[C]

So. You're right.

[B]

So my four in the house will be good too.

[C]

But like huh.

[B]

I'm gonna have. Well, I want, I have one. I want three from him.

[A]

Good.

[B]

And so it'll be four. So the four after he does all his. He'll be on the.

[A]

Don't get me wrong. Listen, I mean it sucks for them, but we do, we do need you since we have a collapsing birth rate.

[C]

So.

[B]

Yeah. Okay.

[A]

Keep sticking it in.

[B]

He will.

[A]

You're doing it for us.

Okay.

[B]

Yeah, take.

[A]

Dude, just stop it. Walgreens after this and not in a cup.

[B]

And then. And then get a turkey thing. And for what? To instant do what?

[C]

Oh, he's saying to check your sperm.

[B]

For what though?

[C]

To see if it's fertile.

[B]

It is going to be because we believe in God and God's gonna give us baby per period. But he said if not, I will literally do in vitro. Right now he's.

[C]

But if my sperm is not producing.

[B]

We'Ll check it soon.

[A]

Oftentimes overweight people have less. Less sperm count in their cum. Very often time Obese people. And pretty much more than none. Morbidly obese people. You're in the morbid.

[C]

There's like three. There's like 3 million feds.

[A]

It can still happen, but soon to be. It makes it less likely.

[C]

I mean. Yeah.

[A]

And it makes it harder.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

All right. But yeah, thank you for that.

[A]

You just have to. You have to wait two days. I did this as an experiment.

[C]

I've been telling her that though.

[A]

Yeah, I did it in my come is fantastic. But all you have to do is just wait two days. Between nuts. Nut in a cup.

Slurp it up in a thing.

[B]

Yes you can.

[A]

We're not there yet. No, wait a day. Wait a day.

[B]

We have kids before I'm saying we.

[A]

I mean I'm just talking about his nut lady. My goodness.

[B]

Before 42. So I didn't know if it's good or not.

[A]

Him waiting a day will not prevent.

[B]

Yet it will perfect me.

[A]

What does that help you convert people better?

[B]

Yeah. No, but it's. I'm his playground for his.

[A]

You guys do speak in tongues, don't you?

[B]

Yes, we do.

[C]

I do not speak in tongues. I pray in tongues by myself. It's not beneficial to just speak in tongues in front of people like you or her or whoever.

[A]

And you.

[B]

I speak as only with the Lord. Because he downloads. Exactly.

[C]

That is the spirit of you. And that's the spirit.

[A]

Know what you're saying?

[B]

Not in that moment. No. Only God knows.

[C]

It is God speaking. It's God speaking for you to himself.

[B]

It's the spirit's connection to pray.

[C]

That is a spirit inside of you crying out when you. When you. When you cry and weep when you don't know what. Listen, shut it down.

[B]

You're overwhelmed. No, because you don't know. Because I. I know more of that cuz I was in. It's like God knows what. Sometimes you don't know what to pray. You're like, oh my God, I'm so overwhelmed. There's so many people That I got to pray for you speak in tongues.

[A]

I should not have brought this up.

[C]

I know.

[B]

And he knows this. And so that's when it, he's like, I'm going to take care of it now. Whenever I'm speaking in tongues, sometimes he downloads in English. What? He's what I'm actually speaking.

[A]

Great. He's an iPhone.

[B]

So I'm like, thank you, God. That's exactly what I was thinking. So you're real and you're cool. Anyways, moving on out. Audit.

Aid.

You read the Bible soon and you'll know the whole story.

[C]

And then.

[A]

You don't think I've read the Bible?

[B]

Of course. There's treasures and mysteries born in America.

[A]

I'm sure everyone's read the Bible.

[B]

Exactly.

[C]

That's not true.

[B]

Not true.

[C]

But, but some tells me you have.

[B]

We'll see.

[C]

Did you go to college?

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Then you read, you probably read the Bible in college, like for like philosophy or something.

[B]

Okay, well, no. Okay, cool.

[C]

You never took that class like psychology Philosophy.

[A]

That's. They don't make you read the Bible and psychology and philosophy.

[C]

They do, brother. Maybe I don't know religions to study a world religion.

[A]

So I mean, I love learning about religion's fascinating.

[C]

But like the lady, specifically the lady would say, hey, you need to read from this, this passage of the Bible or this passage of the Muslim book or whatever.

[A]

So that's why I said, no, it's fine. I mean, I, I, I believe in God. I, I don't know. I've always struggled with it. I, I don't know if I attached myself to a certain religion, but, but I mean, you guys are a bit.

[B]

Yeah, we struggle.

[A]

Interesting.

[C]

Do you believe in Jesus though?

[A]

Well, it kind of goes to the full package, but either way you guys are.

[C]

Doesn't go with the full baggage.

[A]

Depends.

[B]

We don't have self control.

[A]

You show up to parks on MLK Boulevard where they scream at white people playing tennis. That's what happened once, by the way.

[B]

And actually we actually we talk to.

[A]

The try to convert them.

[B]

We don't try to convert.

[A]

Like they just want to have a nice barbecue.

[C]

In hindsight though, we did pass out chips and drinks and they love that. And donuts.

[B]

Listen, we're there to preach the gospel and give the word, to tell them to for forgive and repent if they want to come, which they all come because they want to receive Jesus.

[A]

Were you there with a loudspeaker?

[C]

Yes, sir.

[B]

With microphones and everything.

[C]

I sang a song.

[A]

I love when people disturb the Peace.

[C]

I sang a. I sang a song.

[B]

That I wrote when I went to Miami. And I was like, I want to go to these clubs. And they're like, oh, God, Jesus. I'm like, oh my God. It's all like, Jesus. Like.

[A]

And it was annoying there too.

[C]

And it was.

[B]

And it was crazy because I knew that I was.

[A]

Dude, we went to a haunted house for a Hammer Elite stream the other day and there were people that I'm assuming are like you outside protesting. Seen it.

[B]

Oh, yeah. And so that.

[A]

Are you anti Halloween?

[B]

No. Yes, I am. Because we did celebrate Halloween is demonic. So who gives a.

[A]

We're dressing up as are you.

[B]

Lukewarm. It says that God will spit you out of your mouth if you're neither hot or cold. So what?

[A]

Dude, it's fun. It's candy and costumes. Are you.

[C]

We win.

[A]

No, it's.

[B]

It's. It's Michael Myers.

[A]

They kill Michael Myers. The. The villain in the movie.

[C]

You want to hear something funny though?

[B]

I love Chucky. And we have a shitload of Halloween.

[C]

Candy at my house because we celebrate Halloween this year because it was his.

[B]

Fault and he wanted to kids holiday.

[C]

And the kids got scared.

[A]

Who cares what the. Even if the origin was, which I don't even know. It doesn't even matter. Do you think people are celebrating the origin?

[C]

Some people are.

[B]

You don't know?

[A]

Oh, I'm sure there's a couple weirdos that sit around a fireplace and like.

[B]

Yeah, do witchcraft.

[A]

Get all excited like you guys can afterwards with the gift that we're providing you.

[B]

Oh, thanks. Yeah, give that to me. I played it when I was little.

[A]

The Ouija board is that I want you to communicate.

[B]

Yeah, but anyways, we're not going to do that. That's actually going to go back to you and I touc it.

[C]

So.

[B]

Get your germaphobe thing out of my germaphobe.

[A]

I don't like touching people. I don't know.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

What the is that, Caleb?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

Let me see that.

[B]

It's a. It's a Luigi board. I put it. When you're little, you can talk to spirits, whatever, but they're demons.

[C]

This is like the TEU version, though.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Are you that deep?

[A]

Yes. You see the curls on the top of my head?

[B]

We rebuke that in the name of Jesus, by the way.

[C]

Absolutely. Amen.

[A]

A game. So Halloween candy and kids.

[B]

God, he'll play games.

[C]

We're talking about finances.

[A]

People just literally move it to with each other. Right.

[B]

And it's Literally a demon and a portal. Oh, that opens up for you to. Yeah, keep cussing. We're trying our best to keep cussing.

[A]

You called it a Luigi board, if I'm not mistaken.

[B]

It's not Luigi. I love Luigi. Luigi Mario. Welcome to Mario Kart.

[A]

Oh, wow. Okay.

[C]

Oh, good.

[A]

Yeah, that's great.

Okay. Anyway. Anyway, just how much time are you committing to loudspeaker? You guys must have annoyed me when I was walking out of ACL and you guys were sitting there just like rap music is Satan.

Yeah, I heard the white girl annoyed.

[B]

But then they were like, we know this because they know the word because they're grand.

[A]

So you were there annoying me? Yeah, yeah.

[B]

If you're annoyed by it, everyone was. If you were touched by the Holy Spirit, you would have came to me and you were the heck.

[A]

No, I was touched by audio. I didn't consent to. On streets that I was.

[C]

Here's the deal. Here's the dope. It's not for annoying people. It's just to show people that, hey.

[A]

Stuff that only annoys people.

[B]

Whatever.

[C]

That's not true, though.

[A]

Yes, it is.

[C]

How come on on Sunday, there was people coming up to us and begging us to pray for them?

[B]

How come there was a.

[C]

Were they annoyed? Were they annoyed?

[A]

They were already religious. They're already religious.

[B]

How come we have protest s saying.

[C]

Geneva, Geneva, she's tripping out, has demons in her.

[B]

She.

[C]

She's not.

[B]

How is it not you.

[A]

She was smoking.

[C]

Does someone become annoyed when they're begging for your help?

[B]

Listen, watch this. Others that are annoyed that are trying to enjoy their day, probably have a relaxation in the park and look at the park. Is beautiful. Probably.

[A]

You don't go there, do you?

[B]

Oh, yeah, we will. That big old dome.

[C]

You go there, don't you?

[B]

We have a whole team that. No, it's literally a concert there. Yes, yes. Acl, acl. Last time there was actually.

[A]

Do it. I will call the police on you.

[B]

Go ahead.

[A]

Actually, no. I will snipe you from my house.

[B]

Oh, you don't know. I'm the sniper of all snipers, bro. I'm the American sniper that was on that. Actually, no.

[A]

If you are actually disturbing the peace from all the nice, peaceful children.

[B]

It's a band that could be there at any time. We just have to book it.

[A]

Oh, thank goodness. I can get HOA to not let you.

[B]

Oh, yeah, thank goodness.

[A]

Try that as a part of it. Yeah, I guarantee you my lawyer owns your lawyer every day.

[B]

Even know the day.

[C]

Are y' all in Like a contest.

[B]

You literally wouldn't.

[A]

I mean, I actually would.

[B]

No, you wouldn't. Wouldn't. Okay. Anyways. Okay.

[A]

I actually would.

[B]

Okay, that's cool. And we would actually rule that out. Cuz God is sovereign and he's in control.

[A]

I would say the HOA decides who goes.

[B]

Exactly. And are you. Are you that HOA for houses too?

[A]

Okay, Wells Fargo card. What's going on with it?

[C]

That.

[A]

Is that the 1500 one or just your card?

[C]

I have. That's the only one I have I've ever had. And I got that because it's over.

[A]

Max out. Over max out.

[C]

Like 20 bucks or something. So. Yeah, and I would do it again in a heartbeat because we kind of honeymooed on that.

[A]

You went on a honeymoon on this?

[B]

Hello.

[C]

I mean, I. Well, like we went on a honeymoon team of one. We.

[A]

Where you set up a loudspeaker. We actually went back someone's neighborhood where they tried to have a good day.

[C]

We actually went back to Crystal beach and hung out with my dad.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, nice hotel, the beach. I mean, there's like four wheeler.

[C]

We had the kids with us too. So it wasn't like formal honeymoon honeymoon, but like. And honestly I had spent all my money on that. And then I got the credit card when I got back and that's how we paid our bills. But it was for the honeymoon.

[A]

You know, here's the interesting thing about that. That neighborhood. And we're belief in the name of the neighborhood, so we don't dox myself, but here's the interesting reality of it. Even though, yeah, I believe in God. Okay, cool. I guarantee you. Because I know the voting demographics and everything in that neighborhood. No one there, including the hoa. Actually, they're. They're all atheists. They are never going to let you say setup. You're destroyed.

[B]

I don't care. Do it until they like say get. Get out of it.

[A]

Yeah. Cuz security is patrolling 24 hours a day there. They will arrest you in five minutes.

[B]

But we are controlled. And God's in control. Fargo, we are protected by God. If God calls us, we're protected. So we're going to do what the LGBT community dudes does right in front does on.

[A]

I've never seen them set up in this neighborhood.

[B]

They just had a whole protest for the King thing or whatever that was.

[A]

Downtown in front of the Capitol. That's where people protest every day.

[B]

Exactly. I can go to the Capitol and protest too.

[A]

Yes, you can. We expect that. Not in a nice peaceful neighbor.

[B]

I don't care.

[A]

Well, you should because you're being a dick.

[B]

Okay, that's cool. I am a dick. But the thing is great.

[A]

Why? Why embrace being a piece of that ruins everyone else's life and community.

[B]

God calls me to go to that place and preach the gospel.

[A]

You're just wanting to do it and you're using that as an enablement to do so.

[B]

I, I.

[A]

You.

[B]

God uses me. And when I am called, I go. And so wherever he calls me to go, I'll go.

[A]

Because you named that neighborhood.

[B]

He told me to go. Wherever I need to go, go. I named that neighborhood. I'm not going to go there all the time. Wherever I need to go, I go. And someone will hear. He wants me to go there because he knows someone's going to be saving that date, period.

[A]

I am glad that we are able to tell the security of that neighborhood that if they see a person's face that they have on their phone to kick them out.

[B]

That's hilarious.

[A]

So we will make sure we implement.

[B]

Put a wig on and you won't even know it's me.

[A]

They will hear you.

[B]

Okay, well, I will talk.

[A]

Trust me.

[B]

I got so many voices I can literally be either country.

[A]

Oh, that did not change anything.

Okay, your minimum payment is $25. Why are you over the limit?

[C]

Say that one more time.

[A]

Your minimum to payment is $25. Why are you over the limit?

[C]

I couldn't tell you why I'm over the limit cuz they let me. I don't know my last purpose at all.

[B]

You.

[A]

I'd say it's because you weren't making your payment for a second and the interest pushed it above the limit.

[B]

You did miss my payment.

[C]

I'm 76 back now. What you did because I.

[A]

Because. Huh.

[B]

He paid. You made.

[A]

What does that mean?

[C]

You didn't even let me finish.

[A]

I. I don't know what that means. What? What?

[B]

He's making payments on the.

[A]

I'm 76 back.

[C]

I'm 70 cents. $76 behind in my payment. My payment is $14. I missed two months.

[A]

What happened?

[C]

She lost her job.

[A]

Lost? You got fired?

[C]

Well, no, she quit. From the. Whatever happened? I don't know what happened.

[A]

Why you?

[B]

It was. I live in Helen was.

[C]

Why?

[A]

Because you're being a slave.

[B]

She didn't want me to go to my wedding.

[A]

So not only are you not a productive member of society, you go ruin the neighborhoods of those who are.

[C]

I have a serious question because I'm really trying to figure something out here. So she loses her Job. I barely make enough money to pay the bills and pay my rent. What do I do? Do I pay my bills on my rent or do I pay my credit card?

[A]

I'm not complaining about that.

[C]

I'm asking you, do I always roof over her? Okay, thank you.

[A]

But I'm complaining about her losing her job and calling herself a slave for something she agreed to.

[B]

Yeah, I don't give a damn if there's. There's a. It's gonna me over, and that's.

[A]

Oh, so seven times in 10 months.

[B]

She even F me over because she was like, oh, you should get with this guy.

[C]

He has like 18 months.

[B]

He has. He has this much.

[A]

Seven times in 18 months.

[C]

I mean, I'm with you at the same time.

[B]

I'm not taking nobody's shit, period, because I have this. And I have another thing.

[A]

Have you ever been on government benefits?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Let's make sure that never happens again because she is choosing.

[B]

I am Republican, so no, I won't be, but when I have to be, I will be. Knowledge, unemployment, food stamps, blah, blah, blah. And I go to food pantries too.

[A]

But Governor Abbott, if you are listening, make sure she is never able to qualify for any benefit again. Because one, she probably never pays into the system. Two, she chooses to leave. She chooses the life that she lives.

[C]

Now you're just being a little crazy.

[A]

What? Yeah. I mean, she leaves jobs every couple.

[C]

Months, and I agree with that. But she. But like, also at the same time, he goes and gets another one. You know, it's not.

[A]

Yeah, for what it's worth. Paying $28. Paying $28. No income tax state. She doesn't pay into the system. Yeah, whatever taxes she contributes are so beyond minimal. She gets more than she gets. I barely started getting, including from federal. Especially with all your kids. You get way more than you've ever contributed.

[B]

No, I didn't, because I only claim one.

[A]

Even still, with your income, you likely get more with standard deduction plus child tax credit. Listen, you're a part of the population that. And I'm not complaining about this, but if we're being rich, real only contributes 1% of the income tax in this country. The bottom 50% of earners. Now, that's fine, that's progressive, that's okay, but don't complain about it. Don't complain that you're paying taxes. Don't complain. Oh, you shouldn't complain. You shouldn't get the benefit, though. You are not paying into the system and you choose to quit. Now, if you get fired and you lose and you're paid into the system, then yes, get it. Because I want you and your kid to be good. I want you guys to be good. But if you're leaving jobs every couple months, you.

[C]

I agree. I agree.

[B]

Being a. And saying oh, when I'm in love with my man to marry guy that came in with billions of dollars. That's. What about you leave your man, he's the FBI, but you're with him because he's ugly as he's an FBI agent. So you're going to be a go digger. I'm not a gold digger. Sorry. I could have had that many billions of times. But I'd rather be in love than be with an ugly ass old ass Hugh Hefner looking ass bunny ass inside of a mansion.

[A]

He was dead.

[B]

Yeah, well, he's dead now, but he had the whole nine yard back in the day. And that's not me.

[C]

I'm the real Hugh Hefner.

[B]

No. Okay. Yeah, well, I was to say that I forgot his name anyways. Okay.

[A]

Okay, well, I just had purchases or balance transfers of 630. $630?

[C]

I was joking. What does that mean? I didn't even hear what you said.

[B]

Wait, what?

[A]

I had purchases or balance transfer of $630.01. What the. For what is that on what? I was hoping you tell me.

[C]

No, but where are you pulling that from? I'm asking.

[A]

Well, as far as the statement of your card that we're talking about.

[C]

About that probably went to bills. That was for bills.

[A]

Oh, let's see.

[C]

Can I see it?

[A]

Yeah. I went to Dairy Queen. Stopping in the gas station and getting something. Stopping in the gas station and getting some. Stopping in the gas station. Yeah, top notch. The restaurant Water burger and built rewards card.

And then actually gas once, potentially groceries once and then Internet once. Other than that it was all. Hey, when you stop at the gas station, you get something for a few bucks. What do are to going you getting?

[B]

It's not. It's a few bucks. It's like 40 bucks.

[A]

No, no, no, no, no. That would be gas. When he stops in and gets something.

[C]

For 5.92, I'm usually on my lunch.

[A]

What are you getting though?

[C]

Energy drink.

[A]

Oh, stop it. Listen, okay, I. I have to do this every single time. You. Do you go to Starbucks or do you make coffee at home?

[C]

I make coffee at home.

[A]

There you go. Cuz that saves money.

[C]

I make instant coffee.

[A]

So here's the. Well, you don't need to do that. But here's the thing. You're now making instant energy drinks. This is 25 cents a serving. Gamer subs it is so good and it tastes better. I guarantee you. We taste test and it tastes better. It is so good. 10% off fart. Yeah, it's. It's very goony. 10% off. Link in the description below. Use code Caleb or get the free samples just like this. Free samples to see which one you like. Make your energy drinks at home for 25 cents a serving. Instead of this stopping at the gas station getting some.25 cents a serving.10% off. Link in the description below.

[C]

That's your future a lot of the times too. Just to be honest. I'll go to the gas station cuz I bored like at work.

[A]

Get a hobby.

[C]

He have hobbies. But like. But I'm saying like instead of sitting in my car cuz. Cuz I will bring my lunch most of the time she'll pack my lunch or whatever.

[A]

That's good.

[C]

But I'll just go to the go to the store just to off on.

[A]

My lunch break and then go to a park walk. Truth.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

But at the same time make your energy drink dude.

[A]

25 cents to serve it.

[C]

Yeah. No, I agree.

[A]

You cannot afford this and it'll push you above the limit. You're stopping in and getting some endlessly.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Listen and I'll set you guys up with the fizz card because you want a card that builds credit. Right?

[B]

Right.

[A]

But at least that acts as a debit card. You can't spend more than your checking account because this unlimited ability to spend is you. So it's meant for people like you. It's okay to not be a credit card person. You don't need to have one. It is not like a woo yay. Like I'm in. Like you don't need to. Who cares?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Now you have debts to other people. People. Well, you both do actually. So. James. Yo. 2600 to someone. What? What is it?

[C]

He paid my rent last month and like we don't.

[A]

Let's not do names but like what's the relationship?

[C]

No names.

[A]

Oh we believed it. What's the relationship?

[C]

I sorry. I met him on the neighbor's app and he.

[A]

So it's a neighbor.

[C]

I work for him. So this is an employer through the neighbor's app. He needs like he bought a whole toy store inventory and he has it in. In these.

[B]

You get gigs from the neighborhood.

[C]

Listen, shush. He has it in these storage units and that's what he's like selling it. So I go and help him move. And.

[A]

And now why the do you owe him 26, 2600.

[C]

Paid my rent last month.

[A]

Oh, why would he even do that?

[B]

He loves him. He's.

[C]

Because the. He told me that. Cuz I'm like. You have. Like he told me when I first started working for him. Like I've been where you're at. You're a hard worker. He's like. And people have helped me out. And so that's why I'm helping you out the way that I am. Cuz you always overpower pay me. I'm like are you sure, man? And so he's like now when. When you get on your feet and. And you're able to help other people, it's your turn. So that. And so that's the only reason I.

[A]

Even felt like that's nice and kind but.

[C]

Only reason. That's the only reason that I felt comfortable enough to ask you for people, period.

[B]

But when it's crunch time and we did.

[C]

What was I supposed to do though.

[B]

To get this way?

[C]

I mean he could have said no.

[B]

We have lifelines.

[A]

And when you said, you will never lose your house. Here's how close you are barring someone the moment. No, no. And still are. And you will leave this job. Job. No way. You don't come on batting average. Let's go.

[B]

You have no idea.

[A]

Here's the reality.

[C]

I don't give a.

[A]

Doesn't matter who. Here's the reality. This is how close you were. And it only takes so many times until people will not lend you money. Then we're talking payday loans. Then you're not even able to do that. And then you're gone.

[C]

Then you're done.

[A]

You're closer than you think. And the fact that you don't know that with one kid under the roof trying to bring three more.

[C]

No. That's why we're here. That's why we're here.

[A]

Well then tell me everything, you tit. How can I give? How can I give if I do not know the full picture, you tits.

[B]

Cuz it's two. I don't have one. But anyways, the thing is, it's like if. If we were to do that, I mean it's time. We'll move with the sister. We'll do what we have to do.

[A]

Move in with the sister.

[B]

I don't want to do that. But whatever we have to do to keep it.

[A]

Yeah. Get enabled by that shout out by the way.

[B]

Yeah. And.

Yeah. Anyways, so when it's crunch time and.

[A]

What does sister think about this? That she is the backup plan?

[C]

She probably. She's not. She's not a backup plan. And she probably would tell me no. Good. But at the same time I no, because that's how she is.

[A]

Well, you spent 18% of your income on literal going out to eat and what was it, 60% on miscellaneous outside of that. So minimum, about 80% of your income was spent on last month. Good. I hope she says no. You need to learn your damn lesson.

[B]

I know you want us under a tent over there at hoa. I'm going to park it right there.

[A]

You're a Republican. Isn't that person respons to the court?

[B]

Well now because they changed the laws. But he wants us to budget just for you. Since you're just. You're trying to like say here.

[A]

What are you talking about?

[B]

I don't know.

[C]

He wants us and pay our bills and save money saying that he opens.

[B]

His sister says no.

[C]

If something happens after, he's saying enabling is wrong.

[B]

Yes, right, I know that. But I'm just saying because you said that I will literally put a tent right under.

[C]

But here's the deal. Can I say something? Caleb?

[B]

I'll leave.

[C]

Babe, can I say something?

[A]

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[C]

Caleb hammer.com Although that man did enable me for, you know, pay my rent. I've never had that in my entire life. So I don't see it as a wrong thing. It's just like an eye opening thing.

[B]

It's wrong because we shouldn't borrow people. We should be able to manage our money. I understand.

[A]

Should be able to. You're choosing not to shut the up. Do you owe money to a minimum three payment to this guy?

[C]

I'm going to pay it out through work.

[B]

But he said so is there a.

[A]

Agreed upon minimum monthly or like what is.

[C]

No, no, like I'm going to pay it out through work.

[B]

What did he tell you that he doesn't want him.

[C]

He told me that. Like, like. Because. Look, look, look. I tried to est.

[A]

Hold on, man.

[C]

Let me talk.

[B]

No, but he said we don't have to pay back what we are. Are those people okay? Shut up. His turn.

[C]

I tried to set up both on the show. Shut up. God bless this. I tried to set up a monthly or weekly plan with to pay him cash and he absolutely said no, we'll just pay it through work.

[A]

Okay. Through work.

[C]

So you doing labor for him? Yes.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

So it's a long term gig with him that I'm going to pay it back throughout my. My time.

[A]

You owe someone $500. What's your relationship?

[C]

That is my grandmother.

[A]

Okay. Why did you do this?

[C]

And when she bonded me out of jail, probably.

[B]

What was that?

[A]

That.

[C]

It wasn't that long ago. I mean a couple months ago you.

[A]

Went back to jail?

[C]

Yeah. We're not going to talk about it. No, no, no, no, no.

[A]

Why'd you go back to jail?

[C]

I was drunk and disorderly and I didn't.

[A]

With your.

[C]

I don't know that.

[B]

Still going to court for it?

[C]

I don't know, bro. You're in court for it. I got court on the 7th.

[B]

It's going to be dismissed. Exp. Why?

[C]

I have a good lawyer. And he said 99% dismissal on the charge that I have. That's his rate.

[A]

And, and plus public defender.

[C]

He is a pro bono. But at the same time, that's not what his. That's not what he really is. I got a good pick. I got blessed on that.

[A]

He said that and you wanted to think your lawyers were going to be Better than mine.

[B]

He will do what I say and I've already won a case before.

[A]

Oh, do what you're saying. Good. That's a horrible lawyer.

[C]

She doesn't even have a lawyer.

[B]

It's Keith Taniguchi, by the way. Shout out to Keith. He's amazing lawyer. Anyway, anyway, look him up. He's cool, he's okay.

[C]

So 500 to my grandmother. She bonded me out. We did agree like that. I was going to pay her, but then again she lost her job and stuff and so I.

[A]

Your grandmother lost her job?

[C]

She lost her job and I wasn't able. My grandmother. My grandmother is retired. But here's the deal. We're fixing to pay off our phones and my grandma's phone just broke so I'm gonna give her my phone for the 500.

[A]

Why'd you go into drinking? What happened?

[C]

It was a one weekend thing and I. Well, actually was two weekends.

[A]

What fell you into this?

[C]

Her ex husband came to my house on her son's birthday and got hammered drunk. And I beat him the up.

[B]

And then they were wrestling and then.

[C]

The next weekend I was like, oh, this sounds fun. Let's do it again.

[A]

Again.

[B]

And he loves to fight.

[A]

Why. Why are you accepting drinks knowing your addictive personality?

[C]

I'm no longer doing that time.

[A]

I. I know, but it was a few months ago because.

[C]

Because this dude, this dude was trying to bully me in my house. So I got on his level. So I get on his level. I don't know. It was a stupid mistake, but at the same time I wouldn't take it back.

[B]

He's an idiot. He likes to fight. Yeah.

[A]

So is there agreed upon minimum to grandmother or what does this look like?

[C]

No, I. I already paid some of it back but. But when she. When she lost her job, I wasn't able to do that or I would have missed my rent. My grandmother just wants it back as soon as possible.

[A]

I agree. Okay. Who do you owe 1800 to?

[C]

My brother.

[A]

For what?

[C]

He took care of me the whole time I was in prison.

[A]

Is there agreed upon minimum with the payment?

[C]

Absolutely not. We. I mean he's. He's fell off the wagon now. He was nine years sober now.

[B]

No, no, no, no.

[C]

Yeah, he. So he lost his job he was making. No, no, he.

[A]

I don't know what this means.

[C]

Sorry brother. Anyway.

Yeah, cuz you roll it. Yeah, cuz it. It roll. We're not going to get into.

[A]

I don't want to go down to there.

[C]

You can smoke it.

[B]

You can smoke it. You can shoot It.

[A]

I've just never seen this before, so I didn't know.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, he's.

[C]

The. The smokes when it. When it hits the cool glass. So you heat it up and then you put it on the cool glass. Okay. Yeah, that's.

[A]

See, that's what worries me.

[C]

Don't ask questions if you don't want to know the answer.

[A]

No, no, no, it's okay. I just don't want you to be thinking about it all the time.

[C]

I. I don't.

[B]

I don't know how.

[C]

I don't look at. I think about her. That's it here.

[A]

But the fact that he went from eight years over to getting. No, no, that's what made.

[C]

Sorry.

[A]

I just don't want you to. I don't want you to go down these benders on a weekend basis because what if drunk, you accidentally picks up a.

[C]

But here's the deal.

[B]

Exactly.

[C]

My whole life. My whole life, the examples I was given is what not to do. And. And some things I did not take heed to. But him, by him doing that, he's teaching me a lesson in itself.

[A]

Huh. So is he right now?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

No, dude, he. He's a journeyman plumber. He was making like $40 an hour. They bought him a whole set of trucks and tools and everything. He had everything he wanted. Insurance. He just got a mortgage with his wife and he burned off. And he. He wrecked his truck when he burned off. He. I'm not going to say he's been.

[A]

Asking me for no details to. We don't want to dox him, but.

[C]

He'S been asking me for money and stuff and, and so.

[A]

And don't, don't while he's on this.

[C]

And I. I have done it and I don't know I had done it because, dude, it's my brother. And I don't care if he buys I don't care cheeseburger or if he buys a 20 sack. It's my brother and I love him. So no, everybody else has cut him off as far as my sister and his wife. And.

[A]

And so what's his way back?

[C]

His way back is to go home. His wife loves him.

[A]

He might want to. He was 10 years sober.

[B]

I hope so.

[A]

It was an accident, right? I was hoping that, like, I assume there's a bigger.

[C]

He has mental health issues and they put him on Adderall. He started abusing his Adderall.

[A]

He put a addict on Adderall.

[C]

Listen, though, he went in there and told him everything. I'm addict. My parents addicts put him on Adderall. He started abusing his Adderall and that's what took him to the place that he's at.

[A]

That's insane.

[C]

He also. He also moved in a friend into his house that he didn't know was on drugs and he was getting it ordered in through the mail. And then.

[B]

Yeah, shoot him. Kill him.

[C]

Plus. Plus my mother dying. He doesn't know how to deal with like that.

[A]

Yeah, that. That's hard. That's where. That's where we got to keep extra caution around, you know, people with addictive issues, obviously.

[C]

But, like, me and him are different.

[A]

Goodness. The an thing's insane that.

[C]

I agree.

[A]

I'm surprised he even, like, accepted it.

[C]

Nope. Well, like, I mean, when you're down. I don't. I've never been in the place where his mind is. I know.

[A]

I process shit, but Adderall, I mean, it's like.

[C]

No, it's. The Adderall is the most purest form of meth you can get. Trust me.

[B]

Moving on.

[A]

So no. No minimum payments to him?

[B]

Yeah, never.

[A]

That would be bad.

[B]

Yeah, definitely.

[A]

But, like, you owe 5,000 to someone who?

[B]

My mother. Because I needed a Camaro because I had a car that wrote down my sister and I wanted it and I wanted.

[A]

But you wanted.

[B]

Because it's fast and I'm a fast driver and I want to be in the woods somewhere and go like 200 miles an hour.

[A]

I hope next time you're racing somewhere to set up a speaker in a peaceful neighborhood, you crash into a tree.

[B]

Heck yeah.

[A]

I rebuke that too.

[B]

Yeah, me too.

[A]

Me too.

[B]

It's okay. But I love adrenaline and I will literally get on every ride skydiving in.

[A]

The world and so your mother gave you 5,000 for you to be a selfish.

[B]

Heck, yeah.

[A]

Okay, great. So that's wonderful.

[B]

She loves me and I love her and I'm her favorite. Sorry about that, sister.

[A]

She does she. You're her favorite.

[B]

But she does be quiet. Let's not keep going with the favoritism. They might see that they set. They know now, but she every.

[A]

Why possibly are you anyone's favorite?

[C]

Her mother enables both. Both her and her youngest has been for years.

[A]

Do you have an agreed upon minimum payment with mom?

[B]

Nope. She doesn't care when I pay her.

[A]

Of course. That's great. And this speaks to why you are where you are today.

[B]

But I do have notes that she's on my list to pay her because I don't care if she says no. I'm still going to do it. Cuz that's the person that I am.

[A]

Are all your kids black?

[B]

No, just the last one.

[A]

Half and half I just saw on there. Which is not. It's not a bad thing. I just didn't want you fulfilling stereotypes.

[B]

No, this is my man right here and I really.

[A]

Yeah, she has no gorgeous skin.

[C]

Gorgeous.

[B]

My other kids are super white. They're. They're Irish.

[A]

We're not race judging. I was just curious.

[B]

And I want this baby. So.

[A]

Yeah, I was just curious if you went to literally the whitest man possible because. Because of just. I'm just saying because of how I love it. So $5,000 you owe to someone else too? What is that for?

[C]

That's because that's for our car.

[B]

Yeah, my car that I have now. The father of my daughter.

[A]

Not the Camaro.

[C]

She doesn't have the Camaro.

[B]

Put that back. My daughter didn't fit in the front.

[A]

So you owe 5,000 to your mom for a car you don't even have. And now we have another 5,000 for a different car that you do have.

[B]

And guess what? That 5,000 even in my credit, which is crazy.

[C]

What are you showing them?

[B]

No, because for. Oh, my daughter. My.

[C]

Not that daughter.

[B]

The assist daughter did not fit in the car seat of the Camaro.

[A]

It's a Camaro.

[C]

It's not a.

[A]

It's not a motherly car.

[B]

In to get another car. Cash car. My daughter's dad will never leave me in the streets and will never let me be without a car.

[C]

That's her first daughter.

[B]

Yeah, but he is a nice guy, so he's like, here, 5,000.

[A]

She thought this was for a French bulldog.

[B]

Oh, I have that one too. But there's another 5,000 right?

[C]

There should be 40,000.

[A]

She.

[C]

She didn't borrow money for the Frenchie.

[B]

She.

[A]

She.

[C]

She put her gold that I got.

[A]

Huh?

[B]

I pawn. Wait, you.

[A]

What you pawned?

[B]

You're gone with my.

[C]

No, she pawned her gold to pay for the dog. She borrowed 5,000 to pay for a car two times.

[A]

Okay, so who do you owe this 5,000? 2002.

[B]

My daughter's dad. Because he paid it so that I can have a car.

[C]

That was just like three months ago.

[B]

Income tax.

[A]

This just happened.

[B]

Yes, and I give it to him. When I get my income tax, I will pay it all off.

[A]

No, when you get your income tax, as in the check that I write. That's great.

[B]

All right, cool.

[A]

I'm so happy we're doing this. I'm so happy our society is like this. You know, by the way, fun fact for all of you out there, even the most progressive European countries have a less progressive gra. Progressive income tax system than we have in the United States. They just have value added taxes. That's how they pay for everything, which is basically a flat tax, which would impact people like you more than anything. So we are subsidizing them. Her and the choices she makes more than any other European country.

Well done.

[C]

All that went over my head.

[B]

Anyways, next question.

[A]

Okay.

I don't even care. I. Dude, when I pay for taxes, I'm like, oh, you know, I don't really care. I love this country. But then when I see this, just like, what are we doing? Okay, baby daddy. 5,000.

[C]

Huh?

[B]

You're gonna fix it, huh?

[A]

Pay what? Huh?

[B]

Anyways, we're here.

[A]

You owe him a minimum monthly payment.

[B]

I don't owe him no minimum monthly payment.

[A]

Well, that.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Why are you defensive to. Okay, you owe $50 to who? You owe $50 to who? Lady?

[B]

My. My brother. I. I needed something because I spent money on something and I was like, I need to just survive till Friday.

[A]

What? What was the first for?

[B]

Oh, actually my sister effed me over and so she owed me 50. And he was like, I'm going to pay that so you can have your money back. And so that's what. Yeah, cuz he's my brother.

[A]

Okay. Who do you owe $3,000 to?

[C]

That was from a long time ago for the rent.

[B]

Three? Oh, yeah, when I was like 18.

[A]

Two rents. Two rents are owed currently. Okay. One neighbor.

Do you still owe it or not?

[B]

Yeah, of course.

[A]

Well, there you go. So it counts.

[B]

Doesn't count. And I love her and she's so sweet. She bought me.

Talk soon.

[A]

Balance on Gusto. Gusto is a payroll service.

[C]

I know.

[A]

Why is there a balance?

[C]

I have a spending account that I borrow through.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, they opened that up. It was new.

[C]

You want to see all a babysitter.

[A]

100 bucks as well.

[C]

You want to see it?

[A]

Do I want to see your Gusto account?

[C]

No, dude, it's really cool, actually.

[A]

I'm okay.

[C]

All right, well, don't ask about it.

[A]

Babysitter 100. Listen, dude, I'll get you a course. I'll get both of you course career certifications so you can actually go to get like higher paying, real career jobs. You just have to actually stick with one. People in our audience have used them, they've increased their income, They've gotten better jobs. I will do that.

[C]

I think that's why I'm here.

[B]

Thank you so much. That's awesome.

[A]

What career?

[C]

Yeah, like I just felt opportunity from this.

[B]

Be on a boat though.

[C]

But it doesn't matter. At the same time, you're here because.

[A]

You saw a place to apply and you clicked it.

[C]

I saw opportunity though.

[A]

Yeah, there's opportunity. And I hope you guys get your together and we'll give you a lot of free things. All of our classes, the app everything, certifications and a lot of. But if you don't follow a budget, if you guys don't actually do shit.

[C]

Then there's no point of anything. Oh my gosh.

[A]

In your payroll spending account we got transfer. Transfer going in, getting some bull Dreamers. Los Amigos restaurant.

[B]

Hey, he wants fun and. Come on, man.

[A]

What is it? What are we talking about?

[C]

It's a novelty store.

[A]

What? What is Dreamers Novel to sex store.

[C]

Listen, novel sex shop, novelty store.

[B]

Oh my God. We could have a dress up time.

[A]

Am I criticizing? I'm asking what it is.

[C]

Yeah, I just told you. It's a novelty store. Yes, okay.

[A]

It's a sex shop.

[B]

You're asking if you know what it is.

[A]

Well, one. You can't afford it. You. Who cares, huh?

[B]

Who cares? We have.

[C]

We.

[A]

Who cares? Get the off my show if you don't care.

[B]

Well, don't go to strip clubs if you want to see some crazy.

[A]

Huh?

[B]

What? I don't know.

[A]

Did you go to a strip club?

[C]

Yeah, I hate strip club. I've never. I've been to a strip club one time and it smelled like armpit.

[A]

I like strip clubs. I've learned they're fun.

[B]

Hey.

[C]

Okay, but guess I think that's what she was trying to say.

[B]

That's why when my body gets done, I can get the pole in the garage. Yeah, that.

[A]

I don't want to go to that club.

[B]

Okay, that you don't need to. You're not invited.

I'm his playground.

[A]

I'm taking taco more ADMV out of network. Going in and getting some bull McDonald's Apple cash. Apple cash transfers. Apple cash transfers to me, to me, to me. Transfers, transfers. Great. He's transferring like 450 at time.

[B]

Yeah, because.

[C]

No, that's, that's, that's. If I transfer 450. I think it. The one that says 450 is when I actually borrow the money. It charges me 450 to transfer.

[A]

Gotcha. Okay. Sonic. Oh yeah. So you're paying fees of the dick. That's great, Sonic. Drive in and I mean I have to ask you this because you use this as an excuse for you guys to do everything that is bad for everyone else around you. But did you hear a little message to do this.

Hey. Your life.

[B]

No, never.

[C]

Maybe from her, I don't know.

[B]

Together. And we're like, okay, what baby, I want this.

[C]

She does that a lot. Like in the middle. Like I'm not gonna blame it on her.

[A]

Bullshit. Apple cash. Apple cash. Apple cash. Energy drinks. Apple cash. Apple cash. Bullshit. Bullshit. Bullshit. Off fees.

[B]

Nails lashes. Nails lashes.

[A]

Uh huh. So you owe through this payroll service and it's gonna be revolving, I assume. But currently. Currently 291.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

No, it's not. We need to quit the revolving Gusto stuff.

[A]

No, it's gonna be hard to do.

[C]

That though, right now. Listen to me.

[B]

We're doing this. He's gonna help us.

[A]

No, I don't fix. I. I give you a budget. But what you if you actually do it is up to you.

[B]

He's not gonna.

[A]

Then why am I sitting here?

[C]

That's not the truth. That's not. She doesn't know what the I'm here for.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

All right.

[C]

Rather. Okay.

What?

[A]

Tell me.

[C]

Dude, I wouldn't have came here if I was going to take your advice.

[A]

I hope so. Why is she saying this exactly?

[B]

Because I don't want to keep on borrowing from Gusto.

[C]

Dude, you just get story if I don't get a better job or get this, I have to do it. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Listen, listen. I'm gonna. I'll be real with you. Doesn't even matter because even with the income you brought in, you spent 78% of it on bullshit. So go. Go quadruple your income. You'll see. Still spend 78% of it on. Cuz that's your behavior. Your income is not a sol for.

[C]

Me to not borrow. I'm going to have to make more money a week.

[A]

Yeah, that'll be a part of it. But also not blowing 80% of your money.

[C]

But you're just taking in for the last month when she didn't have a job. And so like before that all my money was going to bills. And if you look at my other.

[A]

Statements, not with as many late payments that we've had this year so far. Lots of transfers from this other account and the money were overdue on. On. What is this affirm or something?

[C]

No, that's cash app.

[A]

That's cash you're overdue on. Cash app. You're overdue.

[C]

That's what I mean.

[B]

Overdue on cash.

[C]

You owe cash App money.

[A]

That's why you're doing the revolving thing too, you tit.

[C]

Exactly.

[B]

Way big tits, huh?

[C]

That's your cash app. How much you know that?

[A]

Oh, you.

[B]

I didn't know I owed cash app. $5 or what? That's all I see. What do you see?

[A]

$380.

[B]

Oh, yeah, that's true. I borrowed. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I lost my job. So I. I get direct deposits, so.

[A]

Usually direct deposit for Roku and Apple and some other. Oh, what are we doing? What is this?

[C]

That's me sending her money.

[B]

Lovey bird. Yeah, that's me.

[A]

Okay, so you sent her money for some. Going in some. Some McDonald's.

[C]

Some.

[A]

Lovely bird. Lovely bird. What's lovely bird?

[B]

That's her.

Being lovey birds.

[A]

Oh, this is. This is so stupid. McDonald's going in some. She's just giggling about everything. I'm losing hope here. Oh, what is this collection?

[C]

That's her, not me.

[A]

Oh yeah, you have collections. Yes, Only I'm so glad my taxes are going to you.

[B]

Oh, thank you. And guess what? It used to be like way more than that, but seven years it drops off. So I was like, thank God.

[A]

So do you even give a about this?

[B]

I did actually call the thousand dollar one now. Yes, I do. I've always cared and I know I actually do that.

[A]

Why do you have so much in collections? This is crazy.

[B]

That isn't even half of what I used to have.

[A]

So I'm actually, I'm asking why you have it. Can you listen to a question?

[B]

Because I haven't called them and actually.

[A]

No. What made you get into them in the first place?

[C]

He's saying, what is the balance?

[B]

Well, I don't know what that one is really, but. Okay, okay. The thousand dollars ones I do know, which I don't know where the thousand dollar one is.

[C]

Anyways, dude, she got like it's apartment.

[B]

I was not even evicted, but I got a penalty because I left three bags of trash and I couldn't renew my list because my daughter's had her friends over and they were stealing in the apartment complex. But they're not my kids. But they came out of my apartment. So I had a violation so I couldn't in my. So I had to move. And So I left three bags of trash there and they charged me a TH000. Jefferson Systems. Oh, oh. These were my daughter's braces. Lost my job so I couldn't pay.

[A]

People should never lend you money.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Okay. And then IC Systems.

[A]

$8,050 in collections.

[B]

Exactly. That's way better than 25,000 over.

[A]

Yeah. Great. So that makes it okay? Shut the.

[B]

Does it? I will not.

[A]

Oh, what are you, his wife? She's nuts, poor man.

[C]

She's very nuts.

[B]

You love me.

[C]

I do love you very much. But that doesn't. That doesn't excuse the fact that you are nuts.

[B]

Okay, I don't care. I know I am nuts and I know it and I own it. And I accept it and I love it.

[A]

Because this is gonna keep you sober.

[B]

This is not the.

[C]

I haven't had a problem yet. Really?

[A]

$0.59 in someone's checking account.

[C]

That's hers probably.

[A]

Now you're getting some ATM.

[C]

My shit's negative.

[B]

No, I got $5 extra. Haven't used it in my Wells Fargo account.

[C]

My. My. My checking account for Wells Fargo is negative cuz I.

[A]

Well, at the. It probably is now, but it. It was 194 this and you're getting Etsy, Apple Cash only, cloud smokes, Sesh, Starbucks, Apple Cash, Santa Rita, Cantin or something. Selling on money. McDonald's Melrose Apple Cash Going.

Apple Cash L T. That's not statement. Taco. This is hers. Taco Palenque. Taco Palenque. Stop. You didn't have a job while you're doing this, you cunt.

[B]

Yeah, I had a buddy in my account and I was hungry.

[A]

Subs. Subs. Golden Chick Urban Beauty Am I starving?

[C]

Eventually.

[A]

$25 is your minimum to payment because everything else is just stupid and owed to people just absolutely insane.

[B]

Family.

[A]

Rent, mor utilities, all that combined. What's your average payment? That happens on rent?

[C]

It's over two. It's over two. Two bands? Yeah, because like our light bill's three, then the wi fi and then the phone bill. I don't know if you're counting.

[A]

Excuse me.

[B]

Yes?

[A]

Can you stand up?

[B]

Sure. All the way?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

All right. Okay.

[A]

Get the out of my studio.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yes. You're too annoying to have a conversation with. I am not kidding. I want to make him a budget and I hope it works. No, she's gone.

[C]

Here, babe.

[A]

I can't have a conversation with her. I want you to have a budget and you can communicate this to her or she can watch this back. I'll bring her back for the post show. Can I grab her phone? Yeah.

[B]

She needs something.

[A]

So 2000 is average. Yeah.

Hold on.

[C]

That kind of makes me up two. Like.

[A]

Okay, our for rent utilities.

[C]

Can I just explain it out? Like. Like how I can explain it. So we're 1600 for the rent then you got the light bill is going to be three something maybe a little lower, maybe a little higher. So I would say about 22, man. 22, 23.

[A]

Okay. Does that include Internet?

[C]

That does include Internet because we have a bundle with our thing that makes it $25.

[A]

Phone bill.

[C]

Phone bill is a $200.

[A]

Oh my gosh. Okay. I would definitely do helium. When you got. Once your phone is paid off, it's just a third party phone service that is the same towers as T mobile and that's what the phone bills have to be paid off.

[C]

That's what I was doing before.

[A]

Good.

[C]

And I was going through tello though it was 25 bucks.

[A]

You need to advocate for yourself. Helium I think is 15.

[C]

Do what you see what happens.

[A]

Exactly. Which is why.

I honestly, I'm so sorry to tell you I do not have hope here. I really don't. I have to be honest.

[C]

I agree. But.

[A]

But it's because of this. Well, okay. Gas. V Drive. Drive. Both of you guys combine.

[C]

When we had two cars. Cuz we don't now we. I was spending 50 a week, she was spending 50 a week. But now that now that we're car pulling it's still 50 a week but just one set. So I guess what's that? Four, 200amonth.

[A]

Okay, 200. Car insurance.

[C]

Car insurance. Fernando pays that. To be honest, I don't even know who's that? What's her. That's her first baby dad.

[A]

Her first baby daddy pays it?

[B]

Yep.

[C]

Because.

[A]

Can you come to the mic please?

[C]

It's because the car is in his name.

[A]

Okay. That's okay.

[C]

Weird.

[A]

Okay. Groceries. Is this you two and one kid, Right?

[C]

Right.

[A]

Right. Okay. You can do what. How old is the kid?

[C]

Two. She'll be three in February.

[A]

I'll do 650. You're meal prepping, you're warming up meals, you're following the budgeting thing and the budgeting you're using the meal meal plan that comes with the budget course that you get for free and use the budget friendly cookbook to cook them as well. TP fund anything else you and the kids need 175. Medical, health care, anything any CO pays on a monthly page basis.

[C]

No, I. Neither one of us have any type of insurance right now. And I've never had insurance. But like she'll get it through her job but I don't know how much that'll be and it has to be after 90 days. And then you know what happens?

[A]

Is there a gym?

[C]

We have a gym at our apartment complex.

[A]

Okay, good. Subscriptions? I'll try. 40 bucks. You have any pets?

[C]

Two pets. Great pies.

[A]

Ages and health?

[C]

Five and three. One has heartworm super bad, but I inherited him from my mother. Man, I. What do I do?

[A]

$100 in penny insurance. You get that and you get them taken care of. Right, because you can't afford shit. $100 for pet insurance? How much for pet food?

[C]

We just got the other dog, so double it. I mean, probably 50.

[A]

Okay. Anything else that needs to be in this budget that I have not put in there? This is a minimum survival budget.

[C]

Yeah, I understand.

What about like, what about like, like I need to fix my car? Like, does that go in there? Like.

[A]

Well, that's kind of in the TP fund. Is anything else you need to survive? It's tampons. It's. So I put in 175. And you just put that towards it on a monthly basis. Like, let's see if we have anything left over. Okay, we technically do if Our income is 4,000. If you follow this minimum survival budget, which is a hard budget, I'll be honest, you still get 385 left on a minimum monthly basis. Okay, so with that, you might have to put that towards your car. One or two months. Yeah, but that gives us the ability to take that and throw it to debt outside of when we need to take of care of the car. And honestly, the only debt I need you to take care of is the Wells Fargo, the emergency. And Wells Fargo is 15, 14, 85, 385. You pay that off in just four months, that's fine. Get a one month emergency fund before that. So what you need is this $3,700 saved up. Ah, okay, maybe let's pay off the Wells Fargo first, then a one month emergency fund.

[C]

About one month.

[A]

Yeah, it's what you need to survive for one month, which is what? 3,700.

[C]

Have to borrow from that, man.

[A]

Yeah, $3,700, what you need. Then you pay off your Wells Fargo. That gets rid of your $25 minimum payment, close it. Because you shouldn't have access to debt. And then other than that. Listen, the weird thing with this debt that you owe back, it's weird collections, we can just leave them for now. We can negotiate them at some point, paying people back. We want to do it, but I would just do it low and steady and make sure you guys are actually just putting money towards savings until you have just about.

Honestly, $22,000 in savings, because that is the fully funded six month emergency fund. So there's no more freaking out when people lose jobs. Jobs. What we're doing outside of that is yes, you are hyper focusing on new career. I love this towboat thing. And maybe you can fund that with this extra money. Listen, if that, if it goes towards funding that instead of paying off the Wells Fargo, I would even prefer that. But there is no point of you going and getting a new income and a better income if we do not learn our behavior. Your behavior needs to at minimum follow this budget strictly as a household. Which means her unfair board for a couple months before we start making any big moves. Cuz then if you bring in more income, you're going to end up in a worse spot. Yeah, but use that money. Get a one month emergency fund, pay off the Wells Fargo card, get that certification or whatever it is that you need for the towboat. Do the towboat thing. You got your guys's income will double. And then with that we start stuffing money aside to get $22,000 in an emergency fund. Then we start paying off these individuals highest priority first you determine that based on relationship, relationship and who needs their money. And then from there we start making sure we're at least contributing 20 to investing on a monthly basis. But that's going to be a couple years down the road at that point because you're going to be paying off people for a couple years. And that's okay because you don't need to rush that hyper. I need you to get that fully funded emergency fund first. That's going to take a little bit of time. When you double your income, that will help. There's no point in doubling your income if right now you do not follow this budget together locked in appropriate communication for at least a couple of months proving you can do it. Okay, all right, so that's what I think.

[C]

I agree. But like nobody's ever sat down and explained this to me because my parents were horrible.

[A]

Yeah, and that's okay.

[C]

That's why I'm here.

[A]

I agree.

[C]

So this right here, I'm going to follow that?

[A]

No, I hope so. But she needs to as well. And here's what I recommend.

[C]

But if I can follow that in my own account and do my own accord and hopefully she'll just follow because.

[A]

Apart, listen, the vast majority of the income right now is actually coming from her.

[C]

So I don't know that.

[A]

So we can't do this unless we're not combining on the same page. And our relationship will not last. And we shouldn't Even have kids if we can't do this as a combined goal. So next step that I recommend right after this and no one likes classes but we have five classes. However I need you to take them together. Take the quizzes together, the debt class and the budgeting class. Budgeting class first then the debt class. I need you to take those two. Eventually you guys will do the real estate investing, all those courses but you need to take those so you guys learn your debt skills. What's good debt, what's bad debt, what debt you should pay off, what kind of debt you should take and budgeting it. It is a nitty gritty multi hour how you budget and build it for your life. Take it, go through it together and see if you guys can be aligned.

[C]

How much does that cost?

[A]

It's free for you. Okay. It's free for you.

[C]

How do I schedule that?

[A]

No, we, we, we'll send you an email.

[C]

Okay, cool.

[A]

Yeah. You get full access to everything including dollar wise, premium course, career certifications, fizz card, helium, all that good stuff. Everything. We give it to you. So you have all the tools. Now it is your choices to take the tools and do what you want with them. I just hope it's for the best.

[C]

The way that I see it Caleb is.

And, and I know that you don't have this hope but I think that I can make hope. I think I could make her do anything that I do.

[A]

I hope so. We'll talk about that in the post show. That's we're going to go do right now. But let's get the Hammer financial score first. What's the point?

[C]

Post show.

[A]

Oh, it's an extra 20 minutes and we're going to bring her in and the producers and we're going to debrief and you're going to have to convince her man. That's going to be the big goal cuz now we have the plan. Now you need to convince.

[C]

Are we going to intermission before that? Cuz I really have to.

[A]

We can but Hammer financial score spending in a budget. You guys overspend 0 out of 10 for that debt you have collection. 0 out of 10 for that emergency fund. Nothing in savings, 0 out of 10. Retirement, nothing in retirement, 0 out of 10. Real estate 0 out of 10. Hammer financial score unfortunately 0 out of 10. Get yours of Caleb Hammer. Now click that join button. Join us for what I assume is going to be an insane extra 20 minutes of the show and every other post show and three premium shows posted every single day Monday through Friday. By joining Hammer Elite by clicking that join button. I'll see you guys there.

[B]

We did not discuss one of the deaths.

[A]

What now?

[C]

We bought some furniture last week.

[A]

How much?

[B]

It's a badass couch from Tik Tok. I'm sorry?

[C]

From Tik Tok.

Or something.

That's for the bedrooms.

[A]

What happens after six months?

[B]

If you guys don't pay it in six months, it doubles it.

[A]

Hammer Elite is the best YouTube membership on the platform, and I just upgraded it. New dedicated premium shows every single day, Monday through Friday.

[C]

Join with the link in the pinned.

[A]

Comment or description below. This is the best membership you'll ever.

[B]

Join, and that's a promise.