Financial Audit with Caleb Hammer

Episode: I Tried Saving Their Relationship, But She's A B*tch
Date: June 16, 2025

Episode Overview

This episode of Financial Audit sees host Caleb Hammer diving into the messy, financially-fraught relationship of Violet (21) and Max (25), exes from Tampa, Florida. The episode is equal parts financial breakdown and raw relationship therapy, with the trio trying to determine if Violet and Max should rekindle their relationship—while exposing their questionable money habits, old resentments, and messy credit card statements along the way. Caleb probes, jokes, and presses both guests to be honest about their finances and feelings, resulting in a volatile, candid (often hilarious) exploration of love, debt, and dysfunction.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Relationship Dynamics & Reason for Breakup

• Violet and Max are recent exes, brought back together for the podcast and potentially in real life.
• Reason for Breaking Up:
  • “Our living situation was bad. I was making nothing.” – Max [07:20]
  • Major catalyst: financial inequality, living with Max’s dad, and fighting over who was the breadwinner.
• Both admit to considering getting back together, but are split:
  • “You seem more split, you seem more in favor and we’re considering it.” – Caleb [12:17]

2. Employment, Income, and Career Frustrations

• Violet: Leasing agent, $22/hr + commission, just started, $3,000/month pre-commission.
  • “I make more than you.” – Violet to Max [01:18]
• Max: Two jobs: warehouse selector ($18/hr, ~30–35 hrs/week) and remote job with mom’s company ($16/hr, flexible).
  • “That's the only job he's had in the last five years until like, a month ago.” – Violet [03:59]
  • “He has an economics degree and doesn't use it.” – Violet [04:13]

3. Financial Behaviors and Bad Habits

• Both have substantial consumer debt, minimal savings, and a history of impulse buys and justifications.
• Violet: Maxed-out credit cards, frequent overspending.
  • “$7,377.60. $7,000? You don’t know this?” – Caleb (breaking down her credit card) [43:07]
• Max: Also hefty debt; previously spent $9,000 on a real estate course he didn’t fully pursue.
  • “So the one who spent nine grand on a course he didn’t pursue.” – Violet about Max [31:17]
• Both have a pattern of buying things they “shouldn’t” afford:
  • “I definitely shouldn't have gone on the vacation.” – Violet [15:12]
  • “You creature. You have your ring on.” – Caleb (mock-shock at their frivolous spending) [65:02]

4. Debt Details & Budgeting Struggles

• Caleb pulls up statements: both are maxed on several cards, making only minimum payments, accruing 20–30% interest.
• Examples:
  • “If you only make the minimum payment, how long does it take to pay off? 19 years.” – Caleb (on Violet’s card) [43:56]
• Both struggle with tracking budgets and recognizing the magnitude of their debt, often in denial or rationalizing.
  • “Why would you not know? Why don’t you budget? ... you don’t care.” – Caleb to Violet [50:05]
• Max has received significant parental support (paid-off loans, car down payments).
  • “You’re never gonna learn your lesson though if you always have something to fall back on.” – Caleb [83:27]

5. Financial Compatibility Game

Caleb runs a series of “who’s more likely…” questions to assess compatibility:

• Who’s more likely to book a vacation they can’t afford?
  • Both: Violet [14:59], confirmed by her trips to Hawaii and the Bahamas.
• Who's more likely to criticize the other's spending?
  • Both: Each other, but for different reasons—Circle K trips (Max) vs. thrift hauls & unnecessary “stuff” (Violet) [18:12-20:45].
• Who’s more likely to hide spending from the other?
  • Max: “Yeah... but mostly food.” [34:13]
• Who’s most financially responsible?
  • Both point fingers. Financial scores are abysmal. Violet receives a 1/10; Max barely edges her out at 2/10 [96:56-97:40].

6. Communication & Conflict Styles

• Both admit to poor communication during fights, with Violet “shutting down” and Max “harping” on issues:
  • “I feel like I talked to a wall.” – Violet [23:35]
  • “You harp on things for days.” – Violet to Max [24:06]
• Conflicts over money, chores, and pets often festered and were never resolved productively.
  • “They don’t even hear each other. They talk at each other.” – Caleb [36:42]

7. Post-Breakup, Rebounds, and Emotional Baggage

• Both dated or sought attention from others, leading to jealousy and unresolved resentment.
  • Max is clearly hung up on Violet moving on quickly after their breakup:
    • “She started seeing someone within like, three weeks.” – Max [09:50]
• Both admit to still sleeping together while “on the fence” about their future.
• Violet confesses she's afraid of moving backward and losing her independence, but ultimately still envisions a future with Max—if things change.

8. Future Plans & Caleb’s Verdict

• Both have plans to slightly improve their situations (Violet moving to cheaper rent, Max having more income), but behaviors haven’t changed meaningfully.
• Caleb’s final, tongue-in-cheek verdict:
  • “Actually, yeah. Get back together. You guys are perfect for each other. You’ll pull each other down... you guys will live in shit completely forever...” [62:15]
• He gives them abysmal financial scores, chastising their lack of seriousness and follow-through.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Their Relationship Status:

  • “I texted him and said, ‘Hey, wanna go to Texas next weekend and go on this podcast with me?’” – Violet [05:35]

• On Role Reversal & Resentment:

  • “I’m just tired of feeling like the boyfriend.” – Violet [11:00]
  • “She wants me to get a job. She wants to be a stay-at-home…” – Max [11:02]

• On Debt & Denial:

  • “Why is it above the credit limit? … The real answer was because you spent. Because you’re an irresponsible child with your money.” – Caleb [45:00]

• On Parental Bailouts:

  • “Did you still have student loans?” – Violet
    “I do.” – Max
    “Your mom paid for them. Why?” – Violet
    “No, she didn’t… She gave you money to pay off your entire student loans.” – Violet [36:59–37:14]
  • “You’re never going to learn your lesson though if you always have something to fall back on.” – Caleb [83:27]

• On Financial Scores:

  • “Hammer Financial Score: not terrible. Is rounded up to a two out of ten, and you…” – Caleb [96:56]

Timestamps for Important Segments

| Time | Topic/Quote | | ---------- | ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | | 00:39 | Introductions: Violet & Max’s ages and backstory | | 01:30–03:17| Their jobs and incomes, commission discussion | | 04:13 | Max’s employment history, Violet wants him to use his economics degree | | 06:00 | Admitting they’re exes, considering reconciling | | 07:20 | Why they broke up: financial imbalance, moving issues | | 09:48 | Relationship mess post-breakup, Violet dated someone else “within three weeks” | | 14:46 | “Who’s more likely” game begins: impulsive spending, criticizing, hiding purchases | | 18:13–20:44| Teasing, laughter, and real frustration about each other’s spending | | 23:35 | Discussion on conflict navigation: shutting down vs. “harping” | | 36:06 | Who’s financially responsible? “You’re embarrassing.” | | 43:07 | Shock at the size of Violet’s credit card debt | | 50:05 | Why don’t they budget? Caleb’s exasperation | | 62:15 | Caleb’s sarcastic blessing (“Get back together. You’re perfect for each other…”) | | 78:08 | Why their relationship felt stagnant; problems with initiative and communication | | 91:13 | Violet’s expensive apartment choice after breakup | | 96:56 | Hammer Financial Score results: both are in a financial hole |

Tone & Language

The episode is informal, irreverent, and brutally honest. Caleb uses sarcasm, jokes, and occasional expletives to cut through defenses and expose the reality of their financial (and relational) mess. Notably, much of their banter is laced with both affection and exasperation, giving the conversation touches of both comedy and genuine therapy.

Summary for Non-Listeners

This episode is a whirlwind of financial self-sabotage, emotional baggage, and romantic ambiguity. If you’re looking for a masterclass in what not to do with your money—or your heart—Violet and Max give you the blueprint: minimal budgeting, maxed out credit cards, relying on parental bailouts, and poor communication. They’re at best financially codependent, at worst, well-matched anchors for each other's bad habits.

Caleb, not shy with either the math or advice, repeatedly calls out their patterns, fluctuating between therapy mode and mockery, ultimately providing a cautionary tale for young couples mixing relationships and money.

Verdict:
Should they get back together? Caleb says—half-serious, half-joking—they might as well, since no one else would be able to put up with (or understand) the depth of each other's dysfunction. But unless either changes their financial habits or communication, it’s likely they’re destined for more of the same—both in love and in debt.

For the juicier drama, “demonetization reasons,” and more post-show drama, Caleb teases that viewers can check out the extended Hammer Elite post-show.