WavePod Logo

wavePod

← Back to Financial Audit
Podcast cover

Ignorant Woman Making Me More Stupider

Financial Audit

Published: Fri Mar 15 2024

Having the conversations that I wish someone had with me over a decade ago.

Summary

Podcast Summary: Financial Audit with Caleb Hammer

Episode Title: Ignorant Woman Making Me More Stupider
Guest: Eve, 22, Colorado Springs / Omaha, Nebraska
Date: March 15, 2024


Overview

This episode features Eve, a 22-year-old tech support worker at a bank, whose finances and life have spiraled due to a convergence of personal trauma, divorce, questionable family financial wisdom, and a pattern of coping through spending. Host Caleb Hammer walks through Eve’s complex financial situation, challenging her justifications for poor money management, illuminating the roots of her financial woes, and pushing her toward actionable steps—as well as a wake-up call about the consequences of her current trajectory.

The conversation is candid, raw, and occasionally confrontational, mixing practical advice with tough love. Caleb repeatedly steers Eve away from destructive financial myths, particularly her belief that things "could be worse" and that debt is manageable as long as it keeps immediate crises at bay.


Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Eve’s Life Context and Mental Health ([00:10–03:00])

  • Eve is recovering from a traumatic marriage, abuse, and a suicide attempt.
  • Divorce and medical/mental health leave significantly impacted her finances and mental stability.
  • Admits to substance abuse (alcohol, nicotine) and a pattern of impulsive spending, especially under emotional distress.
  • Eve acknowledges:

    "I was kind of spiraling mentally. I was like, well, my life’s f*cking over, so who cares?" ([02:05], Eve)

2. Income, Spending, and Lifestyle Choices ([00:22–02:40]; [06:34–07:42])

  • Eve makes roughly $46k base pay, $60k with benefits (though that includes insurance and bonuses).
  • Split from husband led to loss of dual income; lifestyle/spending hasn't been cut to adapt.
  • Caleb: “You have every debt that’s ever been…you spend almost double what you bring in.” ([01:17], Caleb)

  • Divorce and being "on the road" led to fragmented spending and reliance on credit for emergencies, housing, and even legal fights.

3. The Mountain of Debt ([03:07–07:00]; [08:00–38:00])

  • Caleb counts 24 individual debts across credit cards, personal/consolidation loans, medical bills, and family loans.
  • Eve (and her ex) normalized use of credit cards for emergencies and day-to-day spending, spurred by college recruiters, family advice, and even her own bank’s culture.
  • Eve: “I was told that you should try to keep pulling out credit cards until you get to like $15,000.” ([08:34], Eve)

  • Family, ex, and mortgage brokers reinforce a dangerous "it could be worse" mentality.
  • Many debts carry high interest (10–30%), some are on temporary zero-interest offers, but many payments are stacking up.

4. Justifications, Coping, and Bad Advice ([08:34–19:01])

  • Eve defends credit as a “safety net” and leans on special offers as “justification” for new spending.
  • Justifies spending on “wants” (e.g., Olympics trip, merchandise) even during financial distress.
  • Caleb: “You’re going to destroy your life.” ([19:01], Caleb)

  • She’s tempted to buy a condo despite obvious financial red flags, based on family recommendations and a mortgage broker minimizing her debt.
  • Caleb: "If you're even considering putting a credit card payment on another credit card, buying real estate is not in the picture." ([15:26], Caleb)

5. Bank and Industry Culture ([17:04–17:41])

  • Her job at a credit card company encourages customer spending, deepening her own unhealthy perceptions of credit.
  • Eve: “If they want it, figure out how to get it for them…How can you help the customer spend?” ([17:24], Eve)

  • She's internalized these business strategies, admitting: “I absorbed a lot of that, too…”

6. Family and Social Influences ([11:32–20:05]; [33:49–34:05])

  • Eve’s family, friends, and even colleagues perpetuate unsound financial behavior (“just keep pulling credit,” “as long as you pay rent, don’t worry about the other bills”).
  • Caleb: “Your family is an enabling, dumb…they’re stupid [financially].” ([25:59], Caleb)

  • Defensiveness persists—she compares herself to worse-off friends and family to feel better.

7. Rationalizations, Moral Hazard, and Psychological Distance ([37:33–38:23])

  • Eve distances herself morally from debt ("they're just a faceless company"), fueling her willingness to default if necessary.
  • “I work for a bank and I see what they do to people. So I was like, why should I care about them?” ([37:43], Eve)

8. Attempts to Fix It—But Self-Sabotage Continues ([40:00 onward])

  • Eve is trying to fight several legal battles (divorce, apartment fees, roommate assault) with limited financial and legal resources.
  • Second job and side gigs barely make a dent; spending on “wants” (Olympics, going out, hotels) continues despite urgent debt obligations.
  • She auto-pays debts without really knowing her minimum payments or overall budget; real savings are depleted.

9. Breaking Down the Math ([62:12–67:14])

  • Caleb and Eve determine her “minimum to survive” expenses are ~$3,048/month, nearly equal to her net income.
  • Minimum debt payments alone: $979.97/month.
  • She’s “breaking even”—but only by treading water with no buffer, emergency fund, or debt payoff plan.
  • Caleb: “You need to work as much overtime as possible. If that second job isn't giving you enough hours, get a different second job." ([63:36], Caleb)

10. The Way Forward ([67:14–end])

  • Eve’s justifications and information sources are exposed as toxic.

  • Caleb presses her to stop listening to anyone who isn’t financially literate and to commit to the budgeting program he provides.

  • Only with more work hours, strict expense-cutting, forgoing big wants, and education can she dig out of her situation.

  • Caleb: “If you keep kicking the can down the road and you don’t sacrifice now, it’s going to be long, it’s going to be painful, it’s going to be stressful, it’s going to be bad for your mental health. You’re never going to have enough money to retire. And it’s just going to be bad.” ([64:05], Caleb)

  • Final Hammer Financial Score: 1.5/10


Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

  • On credit cards as a “solution”
    Eve: "Well, there's a lot of times that the credit came in handy." ([09:32])

  • On family influence:
    Caleb: "Your family is an enabling, dumb...they're stupid financially, financially they're stupid." ([25:59])

  • On justification for buying a condo:
    Caleb: “Buying a piece of real estate is not in the picture. I’m sorry. Trust me. I want you to have it...but you can’t afford to survive.” ([14:41])

  • On the illusion of being ‘not that bad’:
    Caleb: “Bad is bad is bad. It doesn’t matter if something’s worse. Bad is bad.” ([16:09])

  • On hiding from reality:
    Caleb: “It’s a lot of putting your whole head in the ground hiding from it.” ([59:05])

  • On the necessity of personal responsibility:
    Caleb: “Educate yourself. Inform yourself from reliable sources. The ‘I've always been told’, that's done. Just to be clear, that's done with your life. No more urban myths.” ([51:21])

  • On mental health and financial improvement:
    Caleb: “You are so young. You have so much life to live. Imagine you giving up at 22. What is 40 year old you going to think?” ([06:42])

  • On the dangerous temptation to ‘just walk away’:
    Caleb: “If I just stop paying the credit cards, I won’t have to worry about it.” ([36:27], Eve)
    Caleb: “They could litigate back. Legally speaking, they could. These are small balances, so I doubt they would, but they could.” ([36:38])


Essential Timestamps & Segments

  • [00:22–02:40] Eve's background, income, job, divorce
  • [03:07–06:34] Debt tally, family dynamics, substance abuse admissions
  • [08:34–10:12] Origin of credit card use, influence of college recruiters
  • [11:32–19:01] Justifying drug use, bad family/institutional advice, failed attempts to reign in spending
  • [24:64–28:46] Details of debt mechanics, payment strategies, absurd interest
  • [33:49–34:05] Family loan dynamics and paying relatives
  • [37:33–38:23] Moral hazard, working at a bank, obligations to creditors
  • [40:45–41:49] Medical bills, legal strategies post-divorce
  • [46:01–47:11] Eve’s budgeting habits (or lack thereof), emotional avoidance
  • [62:07–66:44] Budget breakdown, minimum survival math, need for more income
  • [64:05–end] Strategy to escape: overtime, new jobs, cutting expenses, financial education

Conclusion

This episode is a cautionary tale about the cumulative impacts of trauma, misinformation, and normalization of debt—bolstered by both family and employer. Caleb’s tone is urgent but ultimately supportive, emphasizing that while Eve’s situation is dire, the math is simple: drastic measures are needed immediately. His insistence on personal responsibility, education, and sustained, painful sacrifice is set against the plethora of excuses and distractions Eve presents. The central message: stop running, face facts, and take extreme action now—or the financial and life consequences will be severe and lasting.


For listeners in similar circumstances:

  • Stop comparing your situation to those “worse off” as justification.
  • Credit cards and borrowing are not valid substitutes for emergency funds.
  • Family and even professional advice may be dangerously wrong; verify from expert, objective financial educators.
  • Budget honestly, cut wants, and prioritize stability over immediate comfort.
  • Mental health and finances are deeply intertwined—get help in both.
  • Sacrifice now for a future you’d actually want to live in.

No transcript available.