"Islam Is The Most Feminist Religion" | Financial Audit

Summary

Podcast Summary: Financial Audit

Episode: "Islam Is The Most Feminist Religion"
Host: Caleb Hammer
Guests: Muhammad (40, Applications Engineer) and Celeste (29, Healthcare Coordinator)
Date: March 20, 2026

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EPISODE OVERVIEW

This episode of Financial Audit explores the complex intersection of religion, gender roles, and financial dysfunction in the lives of Muhammad and Celeste, a married couple from San Diego, California. The conversation veers through religious identity, Western and Islamic values, marital history, and the guests’ strikingly dire financial situation, all filtered through Caleb’s relentless, irreverent, and at times confrontational style.

Key Themes:

• Scrutinizing claims about Islam and feminism
• Gender dynamics in relationship and advice
• Deep-dive into shocking, chaotic personal finances
• The impact of cultural and religious ideals on real-life choices

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KEY DISCUSSION POINTS & INSIGHTS

1. Religion, Identity, and Gender Roles

• Celeste’s Conversion & Feminism Claim

  • Celeste, a convert to Islam (formerly raised Catholic), asserts:

    "Islam is probably the most, like, feminist religion there is." (00:38–00:50)

  • Host Caleb immediately challenges this, referencing the situation for women in Middle Eastern countries:

    "It is certainly Middle Eastern countries that are most well known for their feminism and freedom for women..." (07:02)

  • Both Celeste and Muhammad defend their perspective, arguing that negative press comes from media portrayal, not Islamic principles. Muhammad adds:

    "If they're oppressing people, of course... they're not doing it [Islam] correctly." (07:24)

• Host Pushes Back on Claims

  • Caleb highlights real-world restrictions on women in theocratic Muslim nations:

    "In Saudi Arabia, they just got the right to drive a couple of years ago..." (10:09)

  • Caleb accuses the couple of "picking and choosing" religious tenets to suit Western values, paralleling this to common Christian practice. (11:30)

• On the Quran and Gendered Testimony

  • Caleb points to Quranic verses about women's testimony and inheritance as evidence against Celeste’s claim of inherent Islamic feminism.

    "...as of Quran 2:282, woman's testimony in financial matters is actually worth half of that of a man's." (16:56)

  • The couple offers theological rebuttals but frequently concedes ignorance or resorts to "we do our best." (11:56–12:07)

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2. Family Structure & Gender Dynamics

• History & Household

  • Muhammad is Celeste’s third fiancé and is stepfather to her seven-year-old son (who has medical special needs). Celeste converted to Islam after they met, but she insists not for Muhammad. (04:47–13:20)
  • The couple debate if Celeste can "speak out against" her husband; jokes and defensive answers ensue. (00:36, 15:09)

• Financial Communication Breakdown

  • Celeste claims Muhammad is more open to advice from men:

    "You are more open to advice when it comes from your male friends." (00:59)

  • Muhammad denies outright that gender determines who he'll listen to, but admits most of his friends are men. (01:05–01:16, 38:59)
  • Caleb diagnoses:

    "Talking to him about money is like talking to a brick wall." (39:34)

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3. Financial Situation: Debt Disaster

Income & Disability

• Muhammad: Applications engineer, $91k/yr ($5,200/mo net), also receives $2,500/mo in VA disability (80% disabled, mainly for insomnia, anxiety, and depression from Navy service). (02:03–27:02, 37:00)
• Celeste: Healthcare coordinator, $1,700/mo net (part-time due to health and care for special needs son); attending school for marriage and family therapy, accruing more student loans. (02:45–28:49, 90:09)

Spending & Debt Breakdown

• Shocking Statues & Unchecked Spending

  • Muhammad admits to nearly $50,000 in debt for movie/comic book statues, collectibles, shoes, and watches—all in storage.

    "All of my opinions, all of that debt is from statues and collectibles and... other things." (64:03)

  • Most expensive single item: $4,000 Predator statue. (68:25)

• Celeste’s Credit Card Debt

  • Celeste owes over $23,000 on one card, much of it from past homelessness but also recent skincare, facials/beauty, and new "Muslim clothes."

    "Did you spend up to $400 a month on skincare?... Yes." (59:51–59:54)

  • Additional spending on consumer loans, car, and more.

• Both Routinely Consolidate, Then Re-Spend

  • Both have multiple personal loans/credit cards taken out to “consolidate”—but promptly re-rack up balances. (77:10–78:53)

• Combined Debt Tally

  • Total household debt (excluding student loans): $122,995.27
  • With student loans: $235,266.42

Household Financial (Mis)Management

• Both avoid hard conversations:

  “When she brings up the financial topics, what actually happens?”
  Muhammad: “I tend to walk away because I am not good.” (21:50–21:55) Caleb: "How the can you possibly have a house if you can't sit down and have a conversation with your wife about budget?" (32:07)

• Budgeting “disagreements” (Snowball vs Avalanche methods) exist, but in reality, neither is applied:

  “You’re spending on your cards. You’re not doing either.” (74:58)

• Celeste fears Muhammad is hiding debt due to their partially separate accounts. Muhammad sees pooled debt as “too much of a burden” to share. (50:54–51:46)

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4. Big Purchases, Aspirations, and Delusions

• Despite crushing debt, the couple are actively house-hunting in San Diego ($650K–750K homes), submitting offers, and fantasizing about a “statue room.”

  “I just want to show my friends... it’s my childhood stuff, I want them there.” (30:27)

• Host is adamant this is financial folly, yet the couple teeters between rationalizing and shutting down emotionally. (45:03–47:06)

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5. Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On Religion & Hypocrisy

• Caleb:

  "So you converted for him?"
  Celeste: "No, not at all. I chose this faith because I believe in the values..." (13:09–13:26)

• Muhammad (on Middle Eastern cultural practices):

  "If they're oppressing people, of course... they're not doing it [Islam] correctly." (07:24)

• Caleb (challenging religious “pick and choose”):

  "Are we going to do the whole thing Christians do with shellfish... pick and choose what we like?" (11:30)

On Finances

• Caleb (on statue debt):

  "Why? $50,000 for statues is insane. Show me one..." (19:14)

• Muhammad (on luxury purchases):

  "I have one [watch] that's $4,000..." (64:16)

• Caleb (on their budget):

  “You’re spending on your cards. You’re not snowballing. You look more like a snowball than you’re going to act.” (74:46)

On Gender and Advice

• Caleb:

  "She said in her pre-interview that he needs to hear financial advice from a man because he won't listen to a woman." (00:52)

• Celeste:

  “You are more open to advice when it comes from your male friends.” (00:59)

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IMPORTANT SEGMENTS & TIMESTAMPS

• Intro to Religion, Feminism, and Gender Roles: 00:33–14:13
• Fiancé History, Conversion, and Family Structure: 04:45–13:20
• Debate on Women’s Rights in Islam: 06:47–12:33
• Caleb Challenges Religious Consistency, “Pick and Choose” Argument: 11:30–12:07
• Admission of Spending Addictions & Statue Debt: 19:06–21:33, 64:03–66:27
• Financial Avoidance in Marriage: 21:50–32:07
• Dysfunctional Budget Conversations: 32:20–41:15
• Live Budget/Expense Breakdown: 56:36–98:48
• Realtor Calls to Confirm Home Purchase: 98:48 (End)

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SUMMARY OF FINANCIAL AUDIT RESULTS

• Minimum Payments on Debts: $5,127.10/month
• Rent & Essential Expenses: ~$2,250–2,500/month (plus food, utilities, etc.)
• Actual Surplus/Deficit: Only $1,500/month left, no extra funds once basic expenses covered
• Household Score by Host:
  • Spending & Budget: 0/10
  • Debt: 1/10
  • Emergency Fund: 0/10
  • Retirement: 1/10
  • Real Estate: 0/10
  • Overall: 0.5/10
• Host’s Final Advice: No house until all bad debt is paid. Celeste must double her income now; otherwise, the numbers remain insurmountable. (96:14–98:48)

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FINAL REMARKS

Despite humor and sarcasm throughout, Caleb hammers home the severity of the couple’s financial dysfunction, their failure to confront uncomfortable truths—whether about religion or money—and their dire need to get realistic, get honest, and get disciplined.

MEMORABLE CLOSING MOMENT

Just before ending, the couple’s realtor calls to say they’ve closed on a new house—despite Caleb’s unambiguous warnings that they absolutely cannot afford it. Caleb is, in his words, “so done.” (98:48)

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LISTENERS’ TAKEAWAY

A wild, no-holds-barred mix of cultural critique, personal drama, and financial cautionary tale—equal parts financial intervention and discourse on modern identity. This episode ought to strike a chord (or nerve) with anyone grappling with the messiness of blending culture, belief, and marriage with money.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

We're here for because of him. Okay.

[A]

Are you sure you're allowed to speak out against your husband?

[B]

Islam is probably the most like feminist religion there is the Middle East.

[A]

It is Middle Eastern countries that are most well known for their.

[B]

I think that's all because of media portrayal.

[A]

What?

[B]

Yes, it's media.

[A]

She said in her pre interview that he needs to hear financial advice from a man because he won't listen to a woman.

[B]

You are more open to advice when it comes from your male friends. So I thought maybe.

[C]

Caleb, that doesn't mean a man. My friends who are male.

[B]

So they're all men.

[A]

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[C]

Hi, my name is Muhammad, I'm 40 years old.

[B]

Hi, I'm Celeste, I'm 29 years old and we're from San Diego, California.

[C]

And this is financial audit.

[A]

Yes, it is. It is financial audit. Mohamed, what do you do for a living in San Diego, California? My dream city. If it wasn't so.

[C]

I'm an applications engineer.

[A]

Okay. Please make money. What do you make? Please make money.

[C]

Like my salary?

[A]

Yeah, what do you make?

[C]

91,000.

[A]

Okay, okay, I'm happy. Listen, San Diego, very expensive. Basically, it's literally, if you don't know this, it is factually, statistically the best weather major metropolitan area in the entire world. Right? Lucky Jealous, actually. Jealous. Okay, Very good. What does that break down on a per paycheck basis or per month net? Per month.

[C]

Net is about 5200, I think.

[A]

Okay, cool. Listen, San Diego, that's still going to be hard to live off, unfortunately, alone. Luckily, this is a married.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Married household. So what do you do? What is it, Celeste? For a living.

[B]

So I am a healthcare coordinator.

[A]

Okay. What do you make?

[B]

I make about 3,150 an hour.

[A]

Yeah. San Diego. Okay. Yeah. What hits your per paycheck or per month basis? Net.

[B]

So right now it's. It's 1700.

[A]

How many hours are you working a week?

[B]

30. 30 hours a week.

[A]

Well, if you know that's not enough from the looks you're giving, why aren't you working more?

[B]

Just medical stuff.

[A]

Morbid obesity.

[B]

No.

[A]

Well, what else?

[B]

Anxiety.

[A]

I have anxiety. I have a panic disorder. It's crippling. I work 50 hours a week.

[B]

Well, I'm also a mom and I'm a full time.

[A]

Okay, well, that would be more of an. Okay, both of those would be more of an answer.

[C]

Yeah. I have insomnia. I'm not making excuses. I work 40 hours a week. Just saying.

[A]

How long have you guys been married?

[C]

A year. And how's the kid? Four months.

[B]

He's seven.

[A]

One kid.

[C]

One kid.

[A]

Are you. What, the sperm.

[C]

No, no, I'm the stepdad.

[A]

Right. What were you doing?

[B]

It was just a bad relationship.

[A]

Relationship? Not a marriage.

[B]

No, it was not a marriage, actually. He was not planned.

[A]

Shocked.

[B]

Yeah, we broke up and then I found out I was pregnant.

[A]

Oh, for sake. You've been engaged three times?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Wait, how are we even confident that this one year marriage is even gonna work? Honestly? Engaged three times. What are you doing?

[B]

I mean, it's been good so far. Like, there's nothing.

[A]

It's been good so far. Wait, okay. I mean, you're wearing like the special outfits before you get triggered.

[C]

This episode was filmed before the war in Iran,

[A]

so I'm assuming we're in the Muslim area of religion.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Is that right?

[B]

It's not an era. No.

[A]

No area. Because there's also, you know, there's like chic and. No, no, no. What am I thinking of now? I don't practice them, but, you know, when you get into the mountains, it gets a little exciting.

[C]

The. The Buddhist monks.

[A]

No, not even Buddhism. There was this one guy in high school, we all used to call him a terrorist.

[C]

It wasn't me. Right.

[A]

He wasn't a Muslim. He was just another one. Very peaceful Religion, I mean, they're all

[B]

peaceful if you think about it.

[C]

Are you saying that we're not peaceful?

[A]

Statistically, it's of. Of the least currently practiced ones. I'm not saying you guys aren't. I'm sure. I know the vast majority are. But if, I mean, if we have to pull a stereotype out of. Out of.

[B]

Go into that.

[A]

Caleb, I'm not trying to go into it. I wasn't saying that. I was just like, I didn't know for. If you were Muslim or one of the other ones that sometimes looks Muslim but isn't Muslim. But you are Muslim.

[B]

Yes, I am Muslim.

[A]

Okay, well, actually I make fun of all stereotypes here, but I'm not freaking out about anything. I'm not even. I'm not accusing you.

[B]

We're here for. Because of him. Okay, that's great.

[A]

But I have a question about you. You've been engaged three times. How do the Muslims feel about that of your parents? I feel like they wouldn't be so happy. Especially bred out of wedwalk. Red wedlock.

[B]

Well, I wasn't always Muslim. I was actually raised Catholic. Well, not Catholic.

[A]

You converted to Muslim.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I feel like that's a little more rare in Western culture.

[B]

It is, but okay. I love it. I love being Muslim.

[A]

Sure. Why? What are the perks? What are the benefits that come?

[B]

Salvation.

[A]

Ah, okay. The overall big religion thing. Okay, so.

[C]

Because it's the truth, my friend.

[A]

Okay, so it's more the what comes later. You like. It's not the now thing.

[B]

No, definitely the now too. I always like, growing up as a child, I never. I always questioned the Bible and so

[A]

like I don't question the Quran, of course. I think question everything. I don't think you're allowed to question the Quran, especially as a woman.

[B]

No, definitely not.

[A]

I mean, come on.

[B]

No, it's. It's not that. No. Islam is probably the most like feminist morals religion there is like very much protective of.

[A]

Yes. It is certainly Middle Eastern countries that are most well known for their feminism and freedom for women. It is the Middle East.

[B]

If they're practicing Islam. Yes.

[A]

So you're saying they're all practicing it incorrectly everywhere, including Mecca.

[C]

I mean, if they're oppressing people, of course. Yeah.

[A]

Then they're doing it correctly.

[C]

Maybe. I don't know. I don't live there. So.

[A]

Listen, I wasn't even trying to talk as well. I was just trying to go off of your engagements and I didn't know you converted. But I mean to say that the Middle east is the Most feminist part of the world is curious.

[C]

Well, she didn't say the Middle east

[A]

is the most famous. She did.

[C]

No, she said, she said Islam, of

[A]

which the Middle east is the home of. I mean Indonesia is the most populated Muslim country, obviously. But you know, the core where it spread from in their colonization efforts was from the Middle East.

[C]

Colonization efforts.

[A]

Well, all religions colonize. Absolutely. This is one of the more recent ones.

[C]

I mean Indonesia and even the Philippines at one point. I mean that was by Muslim traders, right? They just went over there.

[A]

Yeah, sure. But when you pushed into Africa and especially Spain.

[C]

Yeah, okay. Yeah, there was an empire. There was an empire, all right.

[A]

There was an empire and the Christians did it back all bad. Not a big crusade guy. I don't really like killing in the name of religion either way.

[C]

No.

[A]

Yeah, but you're telling me women are more free in Islam than any other religion.

[B]

I mean if, I mean, I feel

[A]

like, listen, I just like I'm convert to Islam, I don't care. Islam's fine. I don't have a problem with Islam as a whole. But when you come here and you say it is the best religion religion, the most feminist religion for women, you're going to lose me here. Based on everything we see in the literal world, I mean it's with the most theocratic regimes being Islamic right now, with the least freedoms for women and most violence against women than any other countries.

[B]

I think that's all because of media portrayal. I don't genuinely believe that's the type of what? Yes, it's media.

[A]

What are you talking about?

[B]

I'm talking about the fact that they are portraying these countries in a certain light.

[A]

And so when women had a lot of freedom under an oppressive regime that was western focused dictatorship in Iran, don't get me wrong, not perfect. Not purely defending Western. Western. Western or Christian. Christian or anti Muslim. That's not what I'm doing here. But when they had that women could go to school, women could work, women could go outside without wearing the outfit.

[C]

You're talking about Iran.

[A]

Iran? Yeah, Iran.

[C]

So women don't work or go to school there? Check your facts. Caleb goes to school.

[A]

They have the same freedoms they had before it became a theocratic regime.

[C]

Well, by freedom, what is your defin that women can go out naked or what?

[A]

Naked. How about just not wearing the outfit without getting beaten and they get beaten and locked up if they don't wear morality police. Yes.

[C]

Oh, okay.

[A]

What? Yes, again, this is not an anti Muslim thing I'm talking about. But when you are Going to come here. I'm sorry, this conversation is derailed out of the gate. Usually it derails a little further and say it's the most feminist. That goes against everything that everyone can see with their eyes right now in all countries. In Saudi Arabia, they just got the right to drive a couple of years ago. A literal couple of years ago, you would be beat in Iran if you took the scarf off. No, I mean, what you get beat in San Diego? Is that what you were about to say? I don't think that's the case. I don't think the American government has officers around beating you for not wearing certain things.

[B]

Not necessarily in that regard, but not

[A]

at all in that regard.

[C]

Actually, I think what she's saying is the media had a certain portrayal.

[A]

No, no.

[C]

The media had a certain portrayal.

[A]

What was that?

[C]

And then she met me. What you're now. And then she met me.

[A]

But what I am saying is true in those cultures, in theocratic.

[C]

Those cultures. But not Muslims. Here's the thing. I know you're not Muslims.

[A]

No, she's saying that culture feminist. But those states that are led from Islamic principles are the least feminist states.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

In the entire world.

[C]

Well, what you say about Islamic principles

[A]

as well, they say they're theocratic.

[C]

They can say all they want. That doesn't mean they actually are practicing

[B]

do it the princip.

[A]

Okay, well, are we going to do the whole thing that Christians do with shellfish and a bunch of like that pick and choose what we like depending on our world values because you guys are more Western?

[C]

No, but here's the thing. This is what I'm going to say. Okay. Because I think what she's trying to say is this when we started that we're in so much debt.

[A]

Okay, then you're not following Islamic principles.

[C]

That's true.

[A]

Then what are you going to tell me?

[C]

What am I going to tell what?

[A]

You're not following it.

[C]

Then we do our best. It's not about just being perfect there it is what it is. You do the best you can.

[A]

But, but why you go further into that. That's doing the best you can.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

I mean, yeah, we're failing on that front.

[A]

It's, I mean, I don't care that you reverted to Islam. I, I, I surround myself with people who have Islam. Like we've had people that work here that are Muslim. I don't give a about that. I don't really care. As long as you don't shove just like Christian. As long as you're not shoving it down someone's throat. I don't give a. But what you said about women is dangerous because women are being oppressed and killed and is someone that actually wants freedom.

[B]

I'm not saying that those aren't, you know, those aren't across the entire Muslim real issues. It's not just Muslim world. It's happening throughout the entire world.

[A]

No, but that is by the Muslim led countries where the religion is the state. Objectively, I mean, I'm sorry. Objectively. And Western values are a good thing. I know there's this big crazy anti west happening right now in our culture. Makes no sense. So women can be free and do what they want. That's not a bad thing. And you get to do that here as a Muslim. As I anti Muslim again. I want to be very clear. So you converted for him?

[B]

No. No.

[A]

Oh, well, when did you convert?

[B]

Three years ago.

[A]

Okay, so it was before you met him?

[C]

No, no, no, it was two years ago.

[A]

You didn't convert for him?

[B]

No, not at all.

[A]

Of course not.

[B]

I chose this faith because I believe in the values of it.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And.

[A]

Well, that's good.

[B]

I mean he introduced the values just

[A]

like any religion and any religious person. The values you're picking and choosing for sure. Absolutely.

[B]

It would be pointless.

[A]

Same thing for Christians, trust me.

[B]

I mean, it'd be pointless.

[A]

I've seen them on this show.

[B]

To revert. If it was to revert. Oh, convert. Sorry. We believe that everyone is born Muslim and the influences of the world make us not and whatnot. But yeah, convert. I converted to.

[C]

Caleb doesn't want to hear it.

[A]

I'm listening. This is a little silly, but I

[B]

don't think it's silly. Why? My, my.

[A]

It's like, you can't put that on me. You can't tell me I was born Muslim.

[C]

Well, it's not like.

[A]

Remember when I said the I'm okay with everything until you shove it down someone's throat?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

No, that's not. That's not what you said.

[C]

The reason she said revert is this. Okay, so it's called the Fitra, right? It's the idea that we're all born with the innate disposition of believing in God, a creator.

[A]

I don't give. Okay, awesome. Very good. I'm just trying not to get too off track immediately because we are 20 minutes in. Who knows how much of this has stayed in so far? But listen. Okay, so you didn't convert for him apparently. Allegedly, maybe. But definitely it was when you guys met him before he got married. So you Have a kid. So your parents are not Muslim, so they don't give a about your out of wedlock thing.

[B]

But you do know my mom did. Definitely. She was Christian, so. I mean, she loves my son, so.

[A]

Okay, well, I'm just saying she doesn't. My goodness. Okay. Geez. I just thought it would be controversial based on the garb. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

I mean, I feel like.

[A]

So you're saying you're on here because of him? What is that? Are you sure you're allowed to speak out against your husband? Sorry, continue.

[B]

I mean, technically not, but I mean, yes, we are here. No, we're here. I think he's hiding things from me. I think he's not telling me everything about our debts, or at least what his debts are.

[A]

Well, that is if you guys believe in the Sharia law version. Are you?

[C]

Sharia trigger warning 2.0, before a performative

[A]

YouTuber complains about Caleb being an Islamophobe.

[C]

Also sent them this video titled he just sucks, where he did the literal, exact same thing to a Christian guy for being a hypocrite about his own religion. And this couple for being crazy about their religion. Cry harder, pussies. Sharia just means the path, right? That's all it means.

[A]

The actual law itself.

[C]

What?

[A]

The law that is, that it constitutes.

[C]

I think it's best if you don't take interest bearing things out. Yeah, of course I do.

[A]

He can have three more wives?

[B]

Technically, yes.

[A]

And you're okay with that?

[B]

Hell no.

[A]

Well, then you are not following. I thought you reverted.

[C]

It's. It's.

[A]

It permits. It doesn't require you to marry up to three, but it does permit. That is verse 43. That's what they called them.

[C]

You can have a marriage contract and then she can say, hey, I will divorce you if you marry another wife. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Of which, by the way, you saying it's all his fault. In 434, he is allowed to strike you as a disobedient wife.

[B]

I mean, me saying okay with that, that's not.

[C]

We can go. I can go into this all day if you really want me to, but we would go down.

[A]

Well, he is allowed to. He's not required to, but he is allowed to.

[C]

No, no, that's not how it works.

[A]

Okay to you, but for most experts that have gone through it, no. Okay. By the way, in this conversation, this is very important. As of Quran 2:282, woman's testimony in financial matters is actually worth half of that of a man's. So you're actually only able to speak on half of what we're about to do. The rest he has to do because we're doing the Sharia version. So we have to be very literal and we have to follow the rules, as I said, because we reverted. And we care about the values because it's the most feminist thing ever. So you can actually only speak on half this. Your value is only half, unfortunately, when it comes to finances. And you had a son, right?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Okay, very good. Are you guys gonna have any daughters?

[C]

What's that?

[A]

Are you guys gonna have any daughters?

[C]

I mean, hopefully.

[A]

Well, they can only get half the inheritance, actually, legally. Sons, they get 100%. Women, they actually can only get half. I really hope you never re revert, because then he is actually required to kill you.

[C]

No, that's okay, actually.

[A]

That is. You're just reading stuff.

[C]

You're just reading stuff and you don't

[A]

understand what you're researched and through. Through people that are not in the religion, but actually study from the outside without having the bias of being born and raised in it and then have that disproportion because their faith. And just like anyone in Christian who I do not rely on to actually speak about Christianity because they are so full in it that they actually can't think critically about their religion, that same thing happens for people within Islam.

[C]

Why do you think I'm hiding debt anyway?

[B]

Why?

[C]

Yeah, Nothing.

[A]

So, yeah. What's up with his debt?

[B]

So he likes to buy statues of Muhammad?

[A]

Probably not.

[C]

What?

[A]

Can't have those. Okay. What statues are you buying?

[C]

Okay, well, I'm a movie guy, a comic book buff, so. Predator, Aliens, Terminator, Batman. You're in Superman.

[A]

Statues.

[C]

I am in debt for statues.

[A]

What is our numeric debt for statues legal?

[C]

Maybe 50,000.

[B]

50,000?

[A]

Well, that's 25,000 hours to you, but yes. What the. That's crazy. Why? Why? 50,000 for statues is insane. Show me one of these statues. Can I see one of these statues?

[C]

You want me to pull one up?

[A]

Yes. If we're $50,000 in debt for statues and you just marry this woman, can I. Sorry, I don't want to go back to it. But listen, do you. Do you feel because of the faith that you have that you don't need to have this conversation with her?

[C]

No. Okay, you keep going. You said I had. Wasn't the faith thing I had. It seems like you're really.

[A]

No. I had to ask if that was your perspective.

[C]

No.

[A]

And you're saying no, so I believe I trust you again. I I have absolutely no Karen. What you guys believe, okay?

[C]

But I care when people believe the wrong thing. Okay? And you believe a lot of the wrong things because you don't understand. I could go through it with you if you'd like. Not here, but maybe another time.

[A]

Let's see the statues. Very.

[C]

My phone is not.

[A]

Oh, connected to WI fi.

[C]

No, I'm not Mine.

[B]

Connected to the WI fi.

[A]

A foldable phone. Yeah, people had those.

[C]

Google Chrome.

[A]

Oh, oh, he sent me a link.

[C]

Oh, he did?

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Let me see. These Are these like human size? Where are you putting them? I mean, it's cool, I guess. Do you have like a movie theater in your house, dude? Yeah, they're like three. The deluxe bonus version. I have 3,000.

[C]

I have the deluxe bonus.

[B]

They're in storage.

[A]

Kayla, how was the damage debt? Did you think it was 30? You were okay with that?

[B]

No.

[A]

What are the financial conversations that happen in this house without the striking

[B]

the. I mean, usually I'm the one who initiates them and we talk about it and. Yeah, we. We have certain numbers. We use the ever dollar. No. Yeah, we use a free version of like the Dave Ramsey one.

[A]

Well, that's the thing is because it doesn't automatically connect things, it requires your manual shit. So it's. So anyway, so like I want to do that. I mean, okay, listen, you guys get dollar wise for free forever now. So just use that as automatic connection. So that's good. But okay, so you use that and then what? Which requires manual entry for everything, which is horrendous.

[B]

But please, I mean, it's just a way.

[A]

It's just hard to track. I know, but that's requires you to go through it on a daily basis. Do you?

[B]

No.

[A]

So do you actually track correctly?

[B]

Probably. I mean, yes, we do. I mean.

[A]

Okay, so when she brings up the financial topics, what. What actually happens?

[C]

I tend to walk away because I am not good.

[A]

Walk away.

[C]

No, no, no, no, no, no. Listen, I'm not good with money.

[A]

Okay, so wasn't that what the conversation's for?

[C]

Yes, but it scares me.

[A]

Okay, hold on. Yeah, but husband and wife, we don't get to walk away from hard topics, do we? No, no, no, no, no, we don't.

[C]

I just get scared. I get nervous. Scared.

[A]

Okay, well, yeah. What about your entire future and potential? Are you guys gonna have more kids?

[C]

We want more kids.

[A]

Yeah. How are we gonna do that? You can't just walk away from the future. Then that's cowardice.

[C]

Yeah, it's hard to.

[A]

Well, how do you Feel when this happens, when you just see him turn

[B]

around, I mean, I'm. It infuriates me because.

[A]

Yeah. So what do you do? Let me ask you something. How long have you been planning to deal with your debt? Six months? A year? Two years? Every time you make a payment, you say, I'll figure this out next month. But you're just waiting for the perfect time, the perfect paycheck, the perfect plan to magically appear. Meanwhile, that interest is stacking up. Late fees are hitting. And that balance, it is not shrinking.

[B]

It is.

[A]

It's growing. You're not treading water. You're sinking. And the longer you wait, the deeper you go. Every month, every fee and every point of interest is working against you. The math doesn't care about your intentions. It doesn't care that you are trying. So here's the good news. PDS Debt has already helped hundreds of thousands of people get out of this exact trap. Not with magic or the time machine, but with a custom plan tailored to your situation. So whether you're buried in credit cards, personal loans, collections or medical bills, PDS debt has customized options to help you get out. They understand your specific scenario and will help provide alternative solutions to becoming debt free. And there's no minimum credit score required. They're here to help you save more, pay off your debt faster, and start putting money back where it belongs in your pocket. They're a rated by the Better Business Bureau with thousands of five star reviews on Google and a five star rating on trustpilot. And you know why? Because they actually help people get out of debt. Real people, real results. In fact, if I needed this product, it's exactly what I'd use. The best time to start was yesterday. The second best time is right now. You're 30 seconds away from being debt free with PDS debt. Get your free assessment and find the best option for you at pdsdev.com.com hammer that is pdsdebt.com hammer PDS debt.com hammer. You suck with money. So you download a budgeting app. You start with the classic one, Ynab, but everyone just deletes it because it's way too complicated to use. So you go to every dollar. That's Dave Ramsey, the personal finance guy, right? Well, they're going to force you to use it his way. That's not very personal. Finances. Rocket Money. They got a lot of commercials, but they're owned by Rocket Movies Mortgage. Guess what? They want to sell you in the end. Then there's the new guy on the Block Monarch. Hundreds of millions of dollars of private equity raising so far. But private equity doesn't have the best track record when it comes to private data. That's why I like dollarwise bills. Play these people just like you for people just like you. No private equity, no gimmicks. Just the best budgeting app there is. Download it now. Start the free trial Dollar wise.com link in the description below. What usually happens. I'm trying to get the dynamic in this household.

[B]

I mean, it's. I feel like it's gotten easier, but

[A]

I really mean easier easier because you just were making it. Well, we're.

[C]

I think we're making better decisions because.

[A]

Doubt.

[C]

No, we're trying to buy a house now.

[A]

So can you guys wait on this income? Can you guys buy a house? Well, that's not okay with the $50,000 of.

[C]

No, no, no. That's not everything.

[A]

Okay. What?

[C]

I'm 80% disabled. Right. So I was in the Navy.

[A]

Yeah. Wow. In the Navy.

[C]

Yeah. Muslim guy in the Navy. Muslim Arab guy in the.

[A]

Why are you bringing up the Muslims? I don't care about Muslim serving.

[C]

Well, you kept bringing it up, so I thought I.

[A]

No. Based on what she said. I love people that are Muslim. I have had people that work. I've had friends that are Muslim. I love. I don't really care. I just. No, to be very clear, all the things I talked about was because she said it was a feminist religion. When just. That goes against everything I know. That's specifically.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

And that you're practicing literally. So I had to. Well, I mean, yeah. Because people are dying, but. No, absolutely. I don't give. Why would I care if you're in the name.

[C]

Okay. All right.

[A]

I like your religion just as much as I like Judaism, as much as I like Christianity, as much as I.

[C]

Which is not a lot. I get it.

[A]

No, I like religions when people do it peacefully and. Well, I don't like it when people shove it down our throat and then, like, beat women in the streets or throw gays off roots.

[C]

I do not either.

[A]

Good.

[C]

Just. So I'm going to just.

[A]

Well, that's good.

[C]

This is the last time. Okay. Just so you understand the whole dynamic, when we were seeing each other, her mom actually thought I was going to beat her. She's like, oh, honey, don't marry him. He's going to beat you. Have I ever hit you?

[B]

No.

[C]

Have I ever touched you?

[B]

No.

[A]

Touched. Touch.

[C]

In a.

[A]

Touch her man.

[C]

No, he.

[B]

In a aggressive way.

[C]

You know what I mean?

[A]

Well, unless Consented. But listen. Okay, so you're 80% disability. What does that come down to?

[C]

2500.

[A]

What happened?

[C]

What happened?

[A]

I have to always ask now because we've had so many people that have gotten disabled outside of the military that end up getting disability from the military. What happened? Yeah, why are you disabled?

[C]

Insomnia. And my neck.

[A]

Did that come from the military though? Insomnia?

[C]

Insomnia and anxiety disorder and depression. Yeah.

[A]

Gosh, but everyone has those already anyway. I mean, exhibit A. Yeah, right. And exhibit B, for what it's worth. And I certainly didn't serve him a fat, but I mean, I'd sink the ship.

[C]

Damn. Thank God you didn't, you weren't on it.

[A]

What I'm saying, that was really old. But listen. But how can you track insomnia to that?

[C]

The VA has its ways.

[A]

Okay, so yeah, an extra 2800 comes in. But how the are we having a conversation about, first of all, houses in San Diego? What is that like a minimum 800, $900,000. But not only that, how we doing that when we're $50,000 in statue debt? Plus many more thousands of dollars into more debt and she doesn't make dick of income. Also, it's a seven year old. You made it sound like you're taking care of a one year old and that's why you can't work.

[B]

Well, it's a fucking seven year old. He's special needs. He has Golden Heart syndrome.

[A]

Huh?

[B]

Golden Heart syndrome.

[A]

Heart.

[B]

Golden. Haar har.

[A]

Tell me. I do not know this.

[B]

So essentially it's a congenital birth defect disease. So the best way to explain it in layman's terms is parts of his body are either in the wrong spot or they're.

[A]

Where's his arm?

[B]

No, no, like internally.

[A]

Okay, where's his heart?

[B]

His heart is where it's supposed to be. But like for instance, he has a right pelvic kidney and usually your kidneys aren't towards the back.

[A]

Okay, so how does this affect them though?

[B]

I mean, we just recently went through like spinal surgery.

[C]

He's had five surgeries.

[B]

He's had already five surgeries.

[A]

Wait, what he says prevent you from working, though I do get the surgery thing.

[B]

No, it doesn't, because I was a single mom before I married him.

[A]

Well, then you guys have been married for a while, Seen each other for a while. Why are you working 30 hours a week now?

[B]

That just happened recently.

[A]

That was what was happening.

[B]

I was working 40 hours. I started school to be.

[A]

Oh, that's right. So what are you doing in school?

[B]

Marriage and family therapy.

[C]

There's good money there.

[A]

And of what values will you be teaching those marriage values?

[B]

I mean, I'm not teaching any values because in therapy. No, a therapist has their own values. Yes.

[A]

Okay, so what is your account right now?

[B]

So right now it's 7. It's 1700, but usually it's around.

[A]

Okay. May I just ask. May I just ask if, if. If a man and a woman comes in and a man has hit his wife because she spoke up to him, what will you say in therapy?

[C]

Dang, that's an interesting scenario.

[B]

I mean, certainly is. Yeah. No, I mean, I would definitely make sure she's safe and provide her resources and. And whatnot. No, that's not a good situation to be in. But if the client is saying that she wants to make it work, my job is to help them work that through. My job, my. The client is the relationship.

[A]

Okay, so what price of homes are we looking at today?

[C]

Between, I think 650 and 750 is like kind of the range of what we've been looking at. We were pre approved for more, but that's kind of where we.

[A]

Yeah, they'll pre approve you for something way beyond what's acceptable and that you'll never be able to afford.

[C]

I know, that's. That's what happened with my credit cards. They approved me. I said, oh, yay, now I could buy a bunch of statues.

[A]

Huh? But what are you doing with them? They're just in storage units. What are you doing?

[C]

That's for posterity. When I have the house, I'll have a statue.

[A]

You want your house? No, no, no.

[C]

We're one statue room.

[A]

So what are you gonna do in a statue room?

[C]

I just, I'm gonna show my friends. It's, it's, it's. Oh, it's on my childhood stuff. I want them there.

[A]

Your childhood stuff? Yeah. Most of us don't have rooms for our childhood stuff in adulthood, especially if the entire household inputs. I mean, it's your childhood room above your kid and future kids.

[C]

No, no, no.

[A]

We'll have.

[C]

But it literally does for them.

[A]

No, no, no. But the finances objectively are prioritizing statues over the kids.

[B]

I mean, I honestly think it's too soon for a house.

[A]

You guys disagree about the house. So what are the conversations here? Are you walking away from those two? Which, by the way, I've not gotten the answer. I wanted to, but go ahead.

[C]

No, no, because that, that house is. That's future. That's right. That's family.

[B]

I mean, yeah, stability, but I genuinely don't think we're ready for a house. It makes me nervous.

[C]

It makes me nervous too. Lots of things that are worth it in life make you nervous.

[B]

I mean, but that's the same thing with the car too.

[C]

I wanted you in a safe, reliable car that's not going to break down on you like the other one did. What?

[B]

Isn't that good? Yes, it is, but.

[C]

Okay, that's way better than statues. Okay, but. But a house and a car.

[B]

Things. Because of your stat.

[C]

Okay,

[A]

I'm so confused, guys. Okay, so she sits down, tries to make a budget and you just walk away. How the can you possibly have a house if you can't sit down and have a conversation with your wife about budget?

[C]

I.

[A]

And then what? I'm asking how these conversations go. She says you walk away. You. So now you're saying you come back. What is this? What actually happens? I need a little insight into how the finances are conversed, how things are managed in this house. I need something, please.

[B]

I mean, we just make sure that our minimum debts are paid and then we have enough for rent, utilities, groceries. The conversations, I mean, between us, that's what we talk about. We talk about the.

[A]

You said he walks away.

[B]

He comes back.

[A]

And then.

[B]

And then we talk about it.

[A]

How we are. We have fully aligned. Do we disagree? What is happening? What's the dynamic?

[C]

We disagree sometimes.

[A]

But what are we disagreeing on?

[C]

Well, like food. And what are we disagreeing about?

[A]

On food?

[C]

Eating out.

[A]

Who's having what perspective?

[C]

I think we eat out a lot.

[B]

I don't.

[A]

Well, I don't. Yes, you're the one eating out.

[B]

No, we eat out together most of the time. But usually when I go to work, I gotta go straight to class and then I'm the one who picks up and drops off my son. So I. Sometimes it's convenient to go and pick something. At least I don't doordash it. Caleb.

[A]

Yeah, but you're the eater of it.

[B]

So is he.

[C]

I mean, that's not. When you're at work or school, that's maybe for dinner.

[B]

It's because you don't know how to say no to me.

[A]

Are you a pussy? You do seem like a pussy. A little.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

If you're walking away from the tough conversations. I know you say you come back, but she's saying you can't say no. Are you a pushover in this relationship? Are we doing like Muslim reverse?

[B]

I mean, I think he just needs to hear it from You Caleb, Hear what?

[A]

I'm still trying to determine what's even going on.

[B]

I think that he doesn't fully grasp our financial situation. He thinks that we are able to, you know, do these things like buy a house, buy a new car and all these things.

[C]

And I want to make sure sure you're I good. I mean that's why I got you that phone.

[B]

But I. I didn't need to get that type A phone. Like I'm grateful for it, don't get me wrong. But like literally I. I had to go to the doctors recently because of all this stress.

[A]

What? What? What?

[B]

I. My body just freaks out. Like I get itchy, I get muscle spasms. Like I'm chronically stressed.

[A]

Lose weight.

[B]

I'm trying to. Okay, look, as a woman.

[A]

Oh oh, here we as a woman, yo.

[B]

When it comes to.

[C]

Hey, don't degrade women when they're talking about their issues.

[A]

Oh, I will.

[B]

As some. Okay fine. Some individuals, they have a hard time losing weight when they are stressed.

[A]

Eat less calories than you burn. You go out to eat every five seconds of your life.

[B]

I've been doing a lot better.

[A]

Oh, because I'm a woman I have to stop for my food on the way home? What are you talking about? That's not a woman thing. Listen, if you're pregnant or if you just had the kid seven years ago, eat less calories than you concern. You're not going through menopause, are you? At 29, that'd be weird.

[B]

No.

[A]

Okay, whatever the are you talking about?

[B]

I just have other diagnoses that affect my weight and my hormone fluctuations.

[A]

And what are those official diagnoses now from TikTok?

[B]

Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder.

[A]

Uh huh.

[B]

Unspecified generalized anxiety.

[A]

Okay, it's a anxiety you. I have a panic disorder. That is not why I'm an obese individual. It's because I eat more calories than I burn. It is a simple math. There's a very few specific things that will some people. Doesn't sound like you got em.

[B]

I mean a lot of it's girl, you eat girl.

[A]

Because I'm stressed you eat. You can't control yourself. Come on.

[B]

Neither can I. I fail at this. My doctor has told me that I need to eat.

[A]

Your doctor enabled. You eat frequently healthy in less amounts. Yes, that can still be a thing. It is still a caloric intake versus it is still the math. In the end, regardless of your the time you're eating, it's still the quantity of calories. Come on dude, it's pretty basic shit. I'm not saying it's like, specifically, like, look at me. I'm not perfect in this. I'm with you here. But I know what it is, and here's the reality. With a lot of the disorders that you likely have, and with all the anxiety, with the work, with the energy, everything magically becomes better. You're no longer fat. It's weird how that works.

[C]

I believe that. But to be fair. To be fair, I mean, okay, I weigh 145 pounds.

[A]

Yeah, you got a good metabolism.

[C]

Exactly. So I eat just as much as she does. I eat probably more.

[A]

Good metabolism. She doesn't do.

[C]

Some people.

[A]

Some people have better metabolisms. Most people have, like, your metabolism. That's us. Welcome to America. And we're obese. You just gotta consume less calories than you spend.

[B]

I don't think it's a calorie intake thing.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

No, I genuinely don't.

[C]

We would save a lot of money if we.

[A]

Okay, yes, you would save a lot of money, but also, like, lower calories

[C]

is lower money, so.

[A]

What the. Of course it's calories. What are you on about?

[B]

It's not.

[A]

What? That's not possible. That is, like, actually not possible.

[B]

When your body.

[A]

That's a fat cope. Fat cope.

[B]

No, it's trauma. Your body holds onto trauma, and then.

[A]

What are you talking about?

[B]

It's trauma.

[A]

Oh. Oh. She lives on TikTok. You married a tick. You married TikTok.

[B]

TikTok.

[C]

That's actually true.

[A]

Where are you? What social media are you on?

[B]

I'm not. I'm not.

[C]

You know, she's on her phone even just.

[A]

Yeah, shut the up. No, you're on something, dude.

[B]

I'm not.

[A]

What? That's not possible. First of all, just everyone is, and he lives with you and he sees it, so shut up.

[B]

He forgets everything. He doesn't even know what he's talking about half the time.

[A]

Okay. In this dynamic, it is a bit

[C]

weird because insomnia is not. Sorry, go ahead.

[A]

I have a note from Colton that. Oh, insomnia. That shit's real, man.

[C]

It is.

[A]

That's scary. I feel so bad for you. That's absolutely horrendous. I am so sorry. You deal with that. That is, like, one of the worst things out there. I'm just.

[C]

Just.

[A]

Whew. Oh. I don't want to live with that, so. But she said in her pre interview that he needs to hear financial advice from a man because he won't listen to a woman, is what she Told Colton.

[C]

Did you see that?

[A]

No.

[B]

I said, you are more open to advice when it comes from your male friends. So I thought that kind of in my head was like, maybe Caleb, that

[C]

doesn't mean a man. My friends who are male, I've been around.

[B]

You don't have female friends.

[C]

Oh, exactly.

[B]

So they're all men.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I want him to have female friends.

[B]

No, See, the only female friends he has are friend. They're my friends. Like, we hang out in groups, like couples and stuff like that.

[A]

He told Colton. You overthink. You told Colton he's reckless. You also said talking to him about money is like talking to a brick wall.

[C]

Is it? I'm a brick wall to you when

[B]

it comes to finances? Yes.

[C]

We eventually get there. You just gotta break the wall down.

[B]

Yeah, but I already do that on day. Like day to day with the individuals I work with. I don't wanna do that at home. Like, I mean, the common factor is you guys are all veterans, but I deal with their stress because they're dealing with homelessness. I don't want to deal with that at home. I have to deal with their ptsd, their anxiety, their depression, all of that.

[C]

She's talking about her job.

[A]

Yeah, I got that. So is that an excuse for eating? I don't think so. But again, I feel like I'm not actually getting the insight. And that's actually kind of what's upsetting to me in this conversation about what the financial conversations are like. I'm getting so much. Just different information.

[B]

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[A]

especially from you guys. Your pre interview versus right now, versus you walking away versus coming back versus he just won't listen to me. Versus what the. Who's running? So you're running the finances?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. Why aren't you involved?

[C]

I am involved. Just not to agree that you think I should be.

[A]

Well, I think you're.

[C]

That I want to be.

[A]

You want to be, so why not do it? I don't understand the thing of wanting but not doing. Do do with want.

[C]

Okay. Yoda's advice. Try.

[A]

We got it. We understood.

[C]

Okay. I thought it was funny, but God,

[A]

if you want to, why are you not doing it?

[C]

Actually, it's still scary because I know I have a habit of when I get into something, I start spending.

[A]

Okay, if you see the numbers, you'll start spending.

[C]

No, no, no.

[B]

Like, if he has, like, available income, he will start spending on things.

[A]

Okay, so if we do not. Do you not spend regardless?

[C]

No, no. So let's say we. She budgets, right? She does it, and I'm there with her. And then she's like, oh, look, we have some extra money. I sometimes take that. Like, oh, we can go spend this money out. Like, we don't have much of a savings right now. And so, yes, talking about finances is kind of scary, okay? It's real stuff. That's all I'm. That's all I'm saying. And then it's like. It's like with the. With the house, right? We pay 2500 in rent, right? 2500.

[B]

No, it's cheaper.

[C]

Mortgage.

[B]

2250.

[C]

Getting a cheaper. No, I know that was before I got my 80%. And then once I got my 80%, I was like, oh, now we can afford.

[A]

You guys are like basic middle class. Maybe a little. In San Diego. So a brutally expensive city now. Household income right now with your 80%. When did you get your 80%?

[C]

October, November.

[A]

Okay. I mean, you guys are at 9,700 now on a monthly basis now. Well, San Diego, still just an absolute brutal city. They don't build things, they don't permit things. It's a complete failure of things bringing down cost of living.

[C]

Yeah, she gets some.

[A]

Ah, yes, from the penis. How much?

[B]

484.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay, well, that's something. What does he do? Let's not make much.

[B]

And then the ss he was. He was unemployed when they. They did that, and I didn't ever.

[A]

Seems to be the case every single time. And there was something else.

[B]

My son gets a dis. Social Security.

[A]

How much?

[B]

He gets 9, 15amonth.

[A]

Okay, well, these are helping still. You know, mortgage payment that you guys can afford is maybe like 3,000 bucks. Are you getting that?

[C]

That's all we can afford.

[A]

3,000. 3, 500. Starting to stretch at about 45.

[C]

No, no, right, 5.

[B]

That's why.

[A]

5.

[C]

Yeah. We were paying 2250. 2,500 about. For rent and utilities and all that. And then now I got the 80. That was before the 80%.

[B]

2250 is the rent. And then electricity is like 120. Like, there's. There are other things you just don't see. Them.

[A]

This is an insane amount of paperwork. Like, in what way is the house the thing? Well, she's against the house. So what are the conversations like when it comes to actually getting the house?

[B]

I mean, I go with him to go see the houses. I like the houses. But then.

[A]

Well, they're fun to go view. But you're against the purchase, right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So what happens in those conversations? Cause this is the one thing he's actually trying to do for me.

[B]

I freak out and I shut down.

[A]

Is that what you both do? That seems to be what you both do. You shut down.

[C]

We need time to process. And then we come back and have the conversation?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then what happens?

[C]

And then we take action.

[A]

Well, but you guys disagree. So if you guys disagree, you come back. Then what happens in that conversation? They can't answer this question. I.

[C]

It's cold feet. That's what I tell her. I'm like, okay, what do you say?

[B]

I say that I don't think it's cold feet and that you're not, you know, it's reality.

[A]

And then what happens? You say you have cold feet. She says, I don't. Then what?

[C]

Then we say. I mean, I ask her, I say, are. Are we still okay? And you. You say, yeah, it's fine.

[A]

Yeah, but on the topic of the house guy.

[C]

That's what I'm saying on the house.

[A]

But are we still okay if she says, yes, you're okay.

[B]

I mean, I feel like it's part of me that like, like fawns into it. Like, I.

[A]

She keeps calling out fawn language. Oh, my goodness. Are you sure you're not TikTok diagnosed? Dude, what are you talking about? Oh, my. You're broken.

[B]

What's fond language, like, people pleasing and

[A]

like, oh, my, I hate you. Such as, baby, nothing is just on you. No, it all has to be these micro diagnoses. Stop. Get yours for yourself. Be an adult. So what, you give him that okay to get a house?

[C]

She goes back and forth. So it's like one day she'll be like, where are we today? We're gonna get a house, right?

[B]

Yeah, baby.

[A]

What, bro?

[B]

Yes, Kayla, we're gonna get a house. See?

[C]

Right, baby?

[A]

Where's your percentage on that? 100% being I wanna buy a house. 0%. I don't.

[B]

I mean, like 80%.

[A]

What? You do not seem that high. Are you afraid of the striking what's happening? You do not seem that high.

[B]

Because I understand the value of, like, what a house is. It's an asset.

[A]

Okay, guys, so what are we doing? San Diego, California. Three bed, two bath. Three bed, three bath. 1686 square feet. Probably on the complete edge of civilization. 6, 680,000. And we okay with that. And it doesn't look great.

[C]

Yeah, but I mean, it's doable.

[B]

It has a really nice backyard.

[C]

And it's, it's lower.

[A]

So you guys know this house?

[C]

Yeah, we visited this house.

[B]

We see this house.

[A]

You like that? You want to get that?

[C]

It's, it's on the, on the list.

[A]

This one's absolutely gorgeous on the outside. Love that little Spanish style. 3 bed, 2 bath. 1441 square feet. 739. Must. Must be a little closer to town.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

How far away is this from San Diego? That's kind of stupid. I'll be honest. But what's not is actually getting a checking account that gives you free money. Free money. We like free money. You can get up to 350 in bonus cash right now when you sign up for the checking account that I use, Chime also, it makes your savings grow at a 3.5 APY interest rate. Guys, you can watch financial audit and get free money at the same time. Who would have thought? That's incredible. Check it out. Link in the description below. Sign up for chime. Get that $350 right now in your checking account. If budgeting apps make you feel like this is for you. Most people who struggle with budgeting are irresponsible. They care about their money, but they get overwhelmed every time they look at it. They download an app, connect their accounts and try tracking. But within a few days, it feels like a homework assignment. They're failing. Too many categories, too many rules, too many red alerts, too screaming at them about what they did wrong. So of course they stopped opening it. Not because they don't care, but because it makes them feel worse. And here's what nobody talks about. The stress isn't coming from your spending. It's coming from having zero clarity in using tools that turn money into a failing grade. Have you ever thought, I just want to know where my money's going without being judged for it? You're not alone. That's exactly what we built dollar wise. If you want a calm and clearer way to see where your money is going, try dollar wise. Download the app today and get a three day free trial. No setup nightmare. No manual tracking, no pressure to be perfect. Just connect your accounts, see where your money is actually going and decide if it works for you. Click below to download dollar wise and see if this Helps you feel more in control without the stress. And if it's not a fit, cancel anytime.

[C]

I mean, it's in San Diego, but

[A]

it's from San Diego.

[B]

So it goes from like.

[C]

These are far from this one?

[B]

Well, it depends. Are you talking about, like, going towards, like, downtown?

[A]

Yes, the city.

[B]

Maybe like 20 minutes?

[C]

Maybe like.

[B]

Yeah, 20 minutes.

[C]

Yeah, but we're looking at it mostly for our work, right? We want to find one that's close to.

[A]

Well, how far is that to work?

[C]

This one?

[B]

25 minutes, I would say.

[C]

I don't remember exactly which one is which, but we have like a limit of like, it can't be more than 20.

[A]

La Oya is where I want to live.

[B]

Is really nice.

[A]

Okay. 731 of those are two.

[C]

But we can't afford it.

[A]

Well, I can't either. Four bed, two bath, 1400 square feet.

[B]

Oh, that one's my favorite.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay, this one's honestly shitty. Please don't get this. And it got a price cut for a reason. 675. Two bed, two bath, 858 square feet. It's a piece of inside that looks horrible. Do not even consider that. I won't even allow you.

[B]

What?

[C]

Why? Why? What's so bad about this one?

[A]

That's gonna be hard to resell. Look at the price drops. I mean, it's just. Look at the tile inside. It's micro dick size. It's not very good. So that's a hard resale. This is a hard resale too, as a two bed, one bath, 988 square feet. 749,000.

[B]

But the orange, dude, the orange door, it's cute.

[A]

Okay. Yeah, paint your next door orange. Listen, I'm being told you put in multiple offers recently, but you got denied.

[C]

Yeah, we're torn for this one. Well, I mean, it's becoming a. It's like a bidding war. It's a bunch of bidding wars out there.

[A]

Still bidding. Oh, my gosh. Okay, so are you guys combined on finances?

[B]

We do have a joint account.

[A]

But are you combined on finances other than just that joint account?

[C]

What does that mean, combined?

[A]

You guys run everything out of combined finances. Is everything integrated or do we have separate accounts?

[C]

What are we separate accounts? And rent and. Right, rent.

[B]

Our share bills go through the.

[A]

I'm being told that's why you're stressed about him hiding debt. Yes, because there's a separate account. So what's your fear with him hiding debt?

[B]

Because I don't know what he's actually spending on.

[A]

And you don't want her to?

[C]

No, I just think because she.

[A]

She.

[C]

She told me a joint account is going to be good because we can all track each other's expenditures. I can track her, she can track

[B]

mine, but keep each other accountable, you know?

[C]

Yeah, but I didn't.

[A]

Just to know, like, what's going on, the budget. But.

[C]

But I. I wanted. I didn't want to combine that with all the debt that I'm paying now.

[A]

Hold on. Are you guys not married or you're not a partner forever? Through life, through all of the 42 versions and all, don't you get to share them? Like, yeah, we're com.

[C]

Yeah, we're together, but I don't want to. It feels like I'm passing like a burden on. I don't want to share an account with my debt. It's my debt. Right. I see it as. It's my responsibility to pay it, so I don't want to share an account.

[A]

Well, how do you view it?

[B]

I feel like he's hiding it. Like, I think he's embarrassed.

[A]

Are you?

[C]

No, I'm. Because I'm not hiding anything.

[B]

I. Then. Then show me. Then you. You haven't shown me, so I feel like you're hiding it because you haven't shown me.

[A]

If she asks to see and you don't, that is kind of hiding.

[C]

I mean, I don't think you've ever asked to see. Like, can I see your bank statements right now?

[B]

I look at your. I asked to see your account all the time.

[C]

Really?

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Okay. Okay, I'll show you next time.

[A]

What the. That's so weird.

[C]

That is weird. I don't.

[A]

Why aren't you doing it? She asked multiple times.

[C]

I didn't hear it that way, bro.

[A]

How'd you possibly hear, can I see your bank account? How else do you hear that?

[C]

Those words.

[B]

Maybe not those exact words, but. See, I say, do you know, like, what's going on with the account? Like, do we have enough money for this?

[A]

Then he hears, oh, that's 50% of the value of money.

[B]

I mean, I just, like, I feel that, like, we don't go item by item.

[C]

That's a lot of work.

[A]

It is a lot of work. It's supposed to be. Especially at first to get it all under control under one roof. What the. It's a lot of work. Do you not put a lot of work into things that are important? You have to. You have to put a lot of work into the marriage, a lot of work, into your job, a lot of work Into a degree. A lot of work into the household, a lot of work into finances. That's how things work. You had to put a lot of work into those ships, right? I assume. I don't know, you're doing something. I don't know if you're bottoming in the showers or what, but I don't know what they do in the Navy. Gross.

[B]

It's gross.

[A]

Told you. They're homophobic.

[C]

What did you say that? What did you bottom feed her? What did you say?

[A]

Should gays get married?

[B]

If they choose to. That's what they do.

[A]

You support them getting married here in this country?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What?

[B]

It's crunch time at work and you need to bring wings to your workday. Visit redbull.com gettingitdone and answer a couple questions about your work style to get a Spotify customized playlist tuned to your productivity. Plus, score a can of Red Bull on us while you go from to do to done. And remember, Red Bull gives you wings. Supplies are limited.

[A]

Terms apply.

[B]

Visit the website for more information.

[C]

Every country does things differently. I'm not gonna go.

[A]

You don't advocate for them to be able to get married everywhere.

[C]

Should I? For freedom, I should advocate for them?

[A]

No, I'm asking you. You don't. You do or you don't?

[C]

I don't. I don't advocate for them to get married everywhere. Like you're saying right now, like, do I do it? Yeah.

[A]

Are you down with making sure every country allows two gay guys and or women to marry each other?

[C]

I don't know. It's a good question.

[B]

You're talking about me specifically?

[A]

Well, I'm asking you.

[B]

Sure. I mean, it's not my job to judge and it's something that if they.

[A]

Howard's answers cowardly.

[B]

I'm just saying, Caleb, it's not what I do with. My life is different from other peoples.

[A]

You don't stand up for people.

[B]

That's not true.

[A]

Well, I'm asking you to stand up or stand down. I mean, you stand up or stand down.

[B]

Some people don't even want to get married.

[A]

If a gay person wants to get married in Pakistan, do you think they should be forced to allow it?

[C]

Forced? Forced.

[A]

No. Sure, why not?

[C]

Freedom is okay.

[A]

Well, not freedom of state, Freedom of people.

[C]

Yeah. People should be able to do.

[B]

I just would recommend to just get married somewhere else.

[A]

I should say something, by the way. All right, what do you guys think your financial Household score is? 0 being the absolute worst. 10 being the absolute best.

[C]

2.

[B]

2.

[A]

Okay. If you Want your Hammer Financial score? Take the assessment. It is free@caleb hammer.com just takes a few minutes. You get to see where you stand in the world of money. Where you're doing great, where you're doing poorly, what you need to do to improve your life. And if you don't want to be like guests on this show, remember when they're doing that manual shit with every dollar. Download the Dollar Wise budgeting [e-mail] or just download it in the app store. Take the free trial to see if you like it. And then most people do. And most people usually stick around it. If you want to stick around for 50% off, most people take the annual version and you will get my budget meal plan. It splits out every single day in a detailed meal plan. How to make food and everything. I will sign that and mail it directly to you. Check that out. Dollarwise.com links in the description below. Let's get into these numbers. Alrighty, my friends. Who has Navy Federal Credit Union insane balance on a credit card? Who possibly has that?

[C]

We both do.

[A]

Who has $23,592?

[B]

That's. That's mine.

[A]

You're saying it's all his fault? What are you talking about? That's horrendous. That's horrendous.

[B]

It's my only credit card that has a balance and it's horrendous. Well, one of the.

[C]

What?

[A]

It's horrible. What are you talking about?

[B]

It's justifiable.

[A]

How? In what possible potential way? How is that possible?

[B]

I mean,

[A]

how. Dude, how long do you think this takes to pay off minimum monthly payments? If you do not purchase anything, which I know you're incapable of because you just purchased 260 bucks, but how long do you think it takes to pay off no purchases. Minimum depayments only.

[B]

Maybe like 40 years.

[A]

33 years. 33 years.

[B]

You're gonna be in retirement if I can retire?

[A]

No, probably not. Cause you're just purchasing. Interest is accruing $215. Just hitting the card in interest while you're purchasing $260. Basically maxed out. Yeah, it essentially is, bro. This is absolute insanity. What do you think of this? Seeing this balance? This is disgusting. Did you know about this?

[C]

I knew it was high, yeah.

[A]

Did you know it was that high? That's horrible.

[C]

But you know, I'm not worried about you hiding what you're spending it on because I actually don't know how it got this high.

[A]

How did it get this high? What the is wrong with you, I was.

[B]

So. Before I moved to California.

[A]

When was that?

[B]

Like a few years ago. Like. Okay, a year before we met.

[A]

So years ago. Go ahead and tell me why this is at 24,000 hours today.

[B]

I was homeless for a few months.

[A]

My mom is kind of homeless.

[B]

Okay, months and so years ago.

[A]

Tell me why it's a 24,000 hours maxed out. Was spending on it today.

[B]

My facials and skin care.

[A]

Okay, Frogan, listen.

[B]

But I mean, there are other things, too. Like during, when he was unemployed, I helped him out. We used some credit cards.

[C]

That's true.

[A]

When were you unemployed?

[C]

After I graduated. So I graduated December 2023.

[A]

Why is it maxed out today? Asshole. What the.

[B]

I was paying for rent. I can't pay home. I can't.

[A]

You're not today, though, on a credit card, are you?

[B]

No, not on the credit card.

[A]

Why would it be maxed out? It makes no sense, bro. What?

[B]

I consolidated everything onto them.

[A]

Failed. Veiled.

[B]

It's my clothes.

[A]

Muslim clothes.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. I've never heard of it.

[C]

Yeah, actually, it's pretty shocking. So sometimes I'll walk up and she doesn't tell me, by the way. I'll walk up to the house and there'll be packages there of hijabs of all sorts of stuff. Dresses and everything. He jobs, too. And then I, you know, I'm like, hey, baby, what is this? Yeah, I ordered this again. Is it okay? It's already here.

[B]

I mean, I can return it.

[A]

Return it?

[B]

Yeah, if I can.

[A]

No, I'm saying return it.

[B]

I can't.

[A]

What? You just. I thought you just said I can return it.

[B]

I meant, like, I can, like.

[A]

Did you spend up to $400 a month on skincare?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

What is wrong with you?

[B]

Caleb, it was a.

[A]

It's not. You literally just look your age.

[B]

No.

[A]

This isn't even doing anything.

[B]

No, it's. It's. I had, like, breakout. Like, it was, like, full of.

[A]

Yes. Cause you're morbidly obese.

[B]

No.

[A]

You eat horrendous food.

[B]

It has nothing to do with my diet.

[A]

What? Listen, here's the thing. I'm gonna be. I may have permission to be sexism for a second.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Hey, this is a Western secular nation. You can't be sexist here.

[A]

What? I could be sexist, just not based on a religion. Go ahead. I'm sexist based on myself.

[B]

Don't take away his First Amendment right.

[A]

We like Western values here.

[C]

We can say things.

[A]

Listen, here's the thing. Every single morbidly obese man on this show, I just tell them and they're like, yeah, I'm a fat cause I eat too much. And then every time I talk about a woman's weight, she's like, no, it's not my diet, it's my, all this, it's nice thrust, it's my trauma. It's like, why is it only women that like they mathematically the caloric thing and what they're eating doesn't lead to their skin for women, well, every man will just accept it. Like me, myself. And I, I know I'm a fat because I eat. I know when I break out and sits because I'm eating McDonald's. You, it's just nothing is your fault. Why? Why? And why is it every fat woman on the show, the fat men just own it. They're disgusting, they're fat, they're nasty. Like myself, I own it. I probably got some fucking sweat underneath my stomach, roll in between my dick flap. I don't know. Whatever's going on down there, we can hardly see it these days, am I right? Well, you can't see yours anyway because it doesn't exist.

[B]

Yeah, well, not that. No, but listen, why can't you just accept it?

[A]

What is happening in the women brain right now, it's not anti women, but to be clear, every single woman on this show that is morbidly obese, it is becoming a trend like the disability thing. But it's just the women cannot acknowledge, acknowledge that it's calories and eating.

[B]

I mean it is, yes, calories are important, but I genuinely don't have the time to like go to the gym or do anything to take care of myself.

[A]

Okay? Yeah, but time, time doesn't indicate you have to eat fast food though. It really doesn't. You can be meal prepping quick food again. We're going to get you our meal prep, okay. And our cookbook and all that stuff. So I'm not saying you have time to go to the gym, which by the way, yes, you can fit in a 20 minute cardio workout a couple times a week. Absolutely. You can, by the way, just at home or something, just jump rope. But even still, just diet. You can't out work. You can't work out. I'll work out a bad diet regardless. So it doesn't even matter with that. You're just eating like shit and you're breaking out like shit eating like more, not yes, not more. And now you spend $400 on skincare when we can't afford to live.

[B]

It's important to me.

[A]

I'm not saying it's not, but I don't think you need to be at 400.

[B]

I mean, it did the job. I. I can show you a photo of, like, before and after. Just.

[A]

Okay. Are the fries in the background?

[B]

No, there's no French fries, actually. That's part of the skincare routine not to eat certain foods.

[A]

Whoa, that's crazy. Almost like that's probably the primary issue.

[B]

It's not.

[A]

Hundreds of interests. Okay, so does that mean this is yours at 15,527? So almost as bad. What the is wrong with you? Right? Is this. Is that true?

[B]

Yes, that's true.

[A]

I feel like it was a little racist to name you Muhammad. Who did that? Oh, you did. You're racist.

[C]

But it was between that or McLovin, so.

[A]

And you landed on McLovin.

[B]

Yeah, I was between that and Muhammad.

[A]

Well, I mean, that works. Okay, listen. Okay, so what's going on with your Navy Federal?

[C]

That's all right. Listen, I'm just going to cut to the chase with you, Caleb. All of my opinions, all of that debt is from statues and collectibles and. And so additional other things.

[A]

What are these?

[C]

Additional shoes and watches I'm even wearing.

[A]

Oh, wait, is.

[C]

You are?

[A]

What is it?

[C]

This is a Hamilton khaki feel.

[A]

What? I thought it was like, from Amazon. How much? A good brand. How much is it?

[C]

This one was my most inexpensive one. This one was, I think 200 or $300. I have one that's 4,000, so.

[A]

Oh, that's why her family thought you were gay. Mm hmm. That's interesting information.

[C]

What?

[A]

Can't take it back now.

[B]

It's because you're so well dressed.

[C]

A man can't be well dressed.

[B]

I didn't say it. My family did stone him.

[A]

Wow. No, well, you had more shoes than her, so.

[C]

They're really nice shoes, guys.

[B]

All right, the fact that you have more, like. I bought him a whole, like, shoe organizer so that he could put all of his shoes in the closet.

[C]

That's pretty awesome. Thank you for that.

[A]

No, I'm pro. I'm look good, dude. I'm pro. But it's just like, look, it's. Hey, maybe you just got a home with a family.

[C]

Look, if I look, they're from the

[B]

Midwest, so I don't know.

[A]

I don't know what that means.

[B]

I'm just saying, like, it could be,

[A]

you know, but the Midwest is Chicago. The Midwest is Iowa.

[C]

But hear it this way. Okay. Okay. The watches.

[A]

Yeah. This is $50,000 of watches, shoes, and statues. Hear it that way. 29 years to pay off your watches, shoes, and statues, asshole. $232 and 6 cents a month in interest is being accrued on watches, statues, figurines, shoes. Huh. Curious.

[C]

I never looked at it.

[B]

Why are you here?

[A]

$385 and 6 cents a month in minimal payments for 29 years on. Not any future statues or shoes, but the ones you already got in storage. They're all in storage. Even the shoes and.

[C]

No, no, no, no. Not the shoes. Just all the statues and collectibles and stuff. But yeah, here, here, check out my shoes.

[A]

Yeah, they look like shoes. I mean, I. I don't know. How many do you need, buddy? 3,000 hours of interest accrued just in the year with 18 interest rate. It's not even as far as credit cards go. It's below the median in this country at 20% for households, and yet it's still $3,000.

[C]

Dang. Oh, my God.

[A]

Why do you guys not follow the debt rule, though? I'm sorry, I know I was kind of memeing on you early, but like, actually question, like, genuine curiosity, why do you not follow the debt rule? Because it is an actual rule.

[C]

What's the debt rule?

[A]

You shouldn't have debt in Islam.

[C]

Oh, yes. Well, that's. It's tough when you want. When you want something.

[A]

But that's like saying the same thing for any other rule. Like, let's pull from the Christian one for a second. It's like, oh, man, it's just tough not to murder, so I guess it's okay. Like what? Just because it's tough means you don't have to follow it.

[C]

Didn't say I don't have to follow it. I am sinning right now by doing that. Yes, but why do you continue actively?

[A]

Lindsay, I'm trying here right now. And your midor in the post show says she's never met a straight man that wears your go to shoe brand. Allen Edmonds.

[C]

Huh? Nice.

[A]

Colton. The gay Colton.

[C]

You want to leave your fiance?

[B]

Stop it.

[C]

I'm sorry, baby. I'm leaving you.

[A]

He kind of looks like a more bearded, older version of your fiance. They're just both brown. That's all I got. I don't know. Okay.

[C]

And I'm classified as white here. It's weird. In this country. Yes. I'm Middle Eastern, North African, European ancestry, considered white.

[A]

What country is your family from?

[C]

Iraq. Oh, yeah.

[A]

They call that white. It's curious. Okay, usaa, I think this is. No, this is another credit card Whose credit card is an additional USA of $7,629.

[C]

That's mine.

[A]

What the is going on here, man?

[C]

Is statues.

[A]

More statues.

[C]

More statues.

[A]

Okay, so these numbers. You know these numbers so far?

[B]

Most of them, yeah.

[A]

26 years for this one. While interest is accruing like crazy. What's the most expensive statue you've purchased?

[C]

$4,000.

[B]

Thousand dollars.

[C]

Are you the predator one? It's one third. It's three feet tall.

[A]

It looks incredible. Three feet tall. I thought it was like human height. That would be cool.

[C]

No, no, it's 1/3 scale.

[A]

What's the point then? Dude. Bro. Okay, so she told Colton that she wants you to write a will.

[C]

Yeah, I don't.

[A]

Which sounds insane to Colton. I don't know what's going on with that, but apparently that's a topic.

[C]

Yeah, no, she wants to off me.

[B]

I do not want to off you. I just want you to have a will.

[A]

Well, as a married couple, you should probably have a will. Right? It's not like he has anything to pass on care of. Statues.

[B]

Debt and statues.

[A]

Yeah. Well, she would have to essentially settle those.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

For any assets.

[B]

Well, the car is in your name.

[C]

Yeah. In the house eventually, so. Well, that's going to be in our name, so, you know, so.

[B]

Well, we have to get an offer

[C]

first or you mean an offer.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. I mean another 1500 in interest accrued, and that's another at 18. Military star. I'm gonna assume this is you. You have an additional $5,827 in a credit card.

[C]

That was for watches.

[A]

Dude, you're just brutal. You're just endlessly going into credit card debt for your entire life. Like, what the. Like this. It's not just hard you not doing it. You're just endlessly doing it. You don't even think. Minimum dependent on this is 124.45. I didn't get the previous minimum to payment on the last Navy Federal. The minimum payment was 195. I mean, these are stacking up. How can you afford a mortgage? He's already stacking up over a thousand. We're over a thousand already. Well, about 10% of our net income. I'm trying to come in with the payments, and I'm not even close to finished.

[C]

Like I said, we. We could afford about $2,500 for rent. And now I got the 80%, 2500 extra. So now we. I think we can afford going further into debt.

[A]

How can you say you're affording if you're going further into debt. That's not affording. Your lifestyle is taking you further into debt. You're not affording. You don't know what you're talking about. What does afford? Never heard of the word afford in your life. What are you on about? You can't tell me you're affording. You affording? What do you mean?

[C]

I mean we have extra money, so. And we did it.

[A]

Why are you going into debt if you have extra money? You mean the disability? You're just gonna spend more. Okay, so this was watches. So not any future watches. You still owe about 6,000 bucks on past watches. 124.45amonth on past watches. 66.84amonth in interest accruing on past watches.

[C]

I paid?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

What's your thoughts on all this? You married into this. You will have to settle this if you want any of the assets. $888 of interest accrued at a 13.99 interest rate. The interest rates, even compared to many on financial audit, are actually not the worst, but they're still horrendous. And you're just losing so much money still, even with those more favorable interest rates. That's how far, huh? And you don't care?

[B]

No, I do care. I just.

[A]

What are you going to do about it? What? Have you talked about it? What? What have you said?

[B]

Well, that's also another disagreement that we have in terms of how.

[A]

Tell me.

[B]

So, like, I like to use the snowball.

[A]

What do you mean you like to use the snowball? You were spending on your credit card. You're not snowballing. You snowballing. You look more like a snowball than you're actually gonna act. Starbucks is bull and a waste of money and you already know that by making your coffee at home and investing the rest. So now you need to do that with your energy drink as well. Make gamer subs at home for just 40 cents a serving. And honestly, it literally tastes better. And we proved this accidentally via a blind taste test in our Hammer Elite show Fat and Fatter. The number one ranked energy drink is gamer subs. Literally. The cherry flavor is insane. Listen, you can also get free samples to see if you like it or 10% off your order at gamersupps gg or click that link in the description below. Type in code. Caleb. I am so excited for you guys to finally get your hands on what I've been working on for a year, the brand new dollar wise budgeting app. And listen, I get it. The first iteration was a disaster. Many reasons from working with an external agency to shit infrastructure that I could use. But. But let's be honest, that was on me. So I put my money where my mouth is and after investing millions of dollars and hiring dozens of people, we've completely rebuilt dollarwise and it is truly incredible. And to celebrate I am giving you some insane deals to sign up for the first time or trying it again after you used the shitty version last year. But these deals only last through March 31st and then they're gone forever. Download now. Take your free trial to test it out and get the monthly plan at a 33% discount for three months. Or take the annual plan for an insane 50% discount and with the annual you get my budget friendly cookbook signed by me and my brand new 30 day detailed budget meal plan signed by me as well. Both of them mailed directly to you. But after March 31st the cookbook is gone forever. So this is literally your last chance to get it. And if you're feeling extra sexy, become one of the founder 500 purchasers to get my Founder Box and Featuring a bunch of goodies Spring starts at the Home Depot and we are bringing the heat to your backyard this season. Fire up the flavor with our wide

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[B]

Anyways, he prefers the the avalanche method.

[A]

You aren't doing either. What are we talking about here? Why? Why is that? How is that even the conversation? That's what you guys disagree on. You're not doing either of them. You're spending on the credit cards. Morons. What are we talking about? Disagreement between Avalanche and Snowball. And I don't even care. They finish it about the same time anyway. Avalanche a little quicker but Snowball more consistent because you see the wins early. But that doesn't matter. That's not even the conversation you guys are spending on your cards. You're not doing either.

[C]

No, no.

[A]

What are you talking about?

[C]

I Mean, we're trying to put right now the extra towards.

[A]

No, you're not. You're spending on it. You're not snowballing. You're not avalanching. You're not doing either of them. You guys are doing the IED method.

[C]

Nice. Very nice.

[A]

Can't stop me today. On a roll.

[C]

Nice. Do you know what they call a Shirley Temple in Iraq? A Shirley Mosque.

[A]

Who? How.

[C]

Took me a while to come up with that one.

[A]

We gotta re. We gotta reconquer that again. We gotta. We gotta take them out again if that's the. That's coming out of that country. Oh, get back in there, boys. Okay. Okay, so Navy Federal, we have something for 18,

[B]

I think.

[C]

How much is it?

[A]

Looks like a consumer loan. Personal loan?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

No, because we each have one.

[C]

Oh, okay, great.

[A]

13. 1. $122.

[C]

I think that one's mine.

[A]

What the are you doing? Let me guess.

[C]

That was to consolidate other credit card debt that I used to buy statues.

[A]

What is wrong with you? How are you okay with this? Why did you marry into this? Well, how much. Aware of this were you?

[B]

I wasn't aware of it until, like, a few months in our relationship.

[A]

Oh, our relationship. Yes, but not marriage. Why'd you want to marry into this? It's horrible.

[B]

Because I love him.

[A]

Yes. I love. Yeah, sure, love each other. That's great. But figure this out and then get married.

[B]

Well, I mean, like, I'm just very.

[A]

What's one of the leading causes for divorces in this country? Even though you guys technically.

[B]

No, we are.

[A]

Oh, are you?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, I just assumed that one.

[C]

I didn't look. Wait, what is the leading common?

[A]

Well, one of the leading costs.

[B]

Finance.

[C]

Finance. Oh, okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So 760 minimum payment. Add that on top of what we're trying to do here. No, you're not making it. It's an 80% interest rate. So this must be yours, then. The $8,684.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

What is this for, Celeste?

[B]

That was also to consolidate.

[A]

And then you guys racked them all right, back up again as usual, then doubling the debt. You guys did not change your behavior, which means you do not get to take out personal loans, open new credit cards, do a transfer, do bankruptcy, because then you end up right back here again, if not worse. I'll let you use the mine card. It used to be the fizz card. It's a debit card that builds credit, only lets you use what's in your checking account. That's the way to do it. Also get you a course career certification so you can hopefully find a better job, get a better income. A lot of people in the audience have improved their income dramatically with the course career certification. This is just so stupid. You guys are just it all in every way whatsoever. Okay. Another Navy Federal who has a personal loan of $7,901.

[C]

I think that's mine.

[A]

Oh, no, the last one is for your car. Apparently, I'm being told.

[C]

Yeah, so I have a personal loan through Navy Federal.

[A]

And that was the previous one.

[C]

Yeah. And then I also have one I paid off my.

[A]

So it wasn't Celeste, it wasn't our consolidation. It was Muhammad's car.

[C]

So I, I.

[A]

Your, your personal loan for the car of $8684?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

For a car that's valued at 6600.

[C]

Yeah. Now when it was, when I, I took out that, now when I took the collateral loan out using my car

[A]

as collateral, it was about then. It's worth less than you owe now. What? I don't give a about then now.

[C]

Yeah, I took it out to pay off more to consolidate credit card.

[A]

Of course you did. This is so stupid. What even is the car?

[C]

It's a Honda Accord. Is that what you said? Yeah.

[A]

I don't know. I didn't, I don't know if I heard it or not. Okay, that means this is your personal loan for your consolidation.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

This is such a mess. Okay, this is $7901.15 with a minimum monthly payment of 862.97. But so stupid. At a 16.35 interest rate. I'm like, what is this even doing? What is this even helping? Oh, what a mess. Lovesack. Not the seat. Place the beanie seats.

[B]

Yeah, it's great. I love my love sack. It's the best couch ever.

[A]

You look like a love sack. You dress like one too. Okay, so what did you get?

[B]

We got a. What is it, four seats?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

With one has like a storage.

[A]

Beanbag storage.

[B]

It's a couch.

[A]

It's a couch. Okay.

[C]

It's a transformer couch.

[B]

We love the transformer couch.

[A]

Okay. $67 a month, and you owe a total of $1901.99 on this transgender couch. Okay. 19 years to pay this off. That's wonderful. Deferred interest, $1808. Oh, shit.

[B]

But that's not until November.

[C]

Yeah, we're gonna pay it off.

[A]

Yeah, sure. Uh huh. I believe it. Not with the payments. You guys are making 100 bucks a month. Is what you're doing. No, you're not. You. You don't have extra money. Good luck. You're gonna get a more expensive mortgage. Yeah, that's nice and comforting in your brain to say. I'm going to. No, you're not off. In no way are you. I don't want to hear it.

[C]

We're going.

[A]

You need to. It's not a option. But you haven't put in the behavior to do it. You're only putting 100 bucks towards it a month.

[B]

Well, that's because we prioritize other things first.

[A]

Well, you guys can't agree on how you prioritize. Avalanche, Snowball.

[B]

But it's. It would be 250amonth before it would hit.

[A]

So if that's true, about eight months to do it. Yeah. Well, 240. Yeah. Okay. Okay. And you better. But you're not. You've made a hundred. You made 100. And he had a late fee on this, so it's just like you're paying it off before it hits. No, you're not. You don't know what pay it off is. You've never heard of pay it off in your life.

[C]

A late fee on this love sack.

[B]

Yeah, it was. Because it was. It was only a day later. But do it.

[A]

Do it. Fulfill your destiny. You know what you need to do. Wow.

[C]

Fulfill the stereotype. No.

[B]

No.

[C]

Absolutely not.

[B]

One time. It will never happen again because we're gonna pay it off. It'll be fine. It's fine, Caleb.

[A]

It's fine.

[B]

It's fine.

[C]

Dude.

[A]

The deferred interest that is already accrued is 1800 bucks. It's gonna be like $3000 by the time it hits.

[C]

That's our priority. Then we're gonna.

[A]

Yes, it is. But guess what? You're not paying off anything quicker anyway. It's just like, nothing makes sense. You're putting money on debt.

[B]

I don't think.

[A]

What do you. What do you mean? This is your priority. Your priority is currently spending and putting in office for a house that is going to quadruple your minimum payment on living. You priority. You don't. That does not align with anything we have seen in this conversation. You can't just say that. You can't just say that. It's so stupid.

[C]

We will do it.

[A]

Upgrade. Upgrade or. No, this is an upgrade feature. What is this?

[B]

That looks like affirm.

[A]

What are you affirming? You didn't even know.

[C]

No.

[A]

You didn't even know affirm exists. Great.

[B]

Those look like the comedy shows that

[C]

we went you borrowed money for the comedy show.

[A]

Why the are you affirming comedy?

[B]

It was for your birthday.

[A]

Yeah, but you're affirming an asshole.

[B]

I get overwhelmed with big, large payments.

[A]

That means you can't afford it.

[B]

No, no, no. I.

[A]

No, it's.

[B]

Life is short, Kayla.

[A]

Oh, shut the up. $419.21 with a minimum payment of 58. The gonna take forever to. What the are we doing? There must be more things on here. Oh, there's multiple stub hubs.

[B]

Yeah, chief, for sake.

[A]

Oh, yeah. StubHub. StubHub. Mark, what the are we doing? Are we doing Etsy? She's Etsying.

[B]

Oh, that was for the ring for his birthday. I returned it, though, because he didn't like it. No, he loved it. Except for that it had.

[A]

So you took away someone's birthday present?

[B]

Yeah, it was his birthday present.

[C]

I just didn't like it. I'm sorry.

[B]

I thought you said. You told me you liked it.

[C]

I liked it. I just didn't know what I didn't want.

[B]

Well, yeah, that makes sense. But you said you liked it.

[A]

Didn't like what?

[C]

It had, like, a certain engraving on it that I didn't care too much for.

[B]

Oh, Caleb, I have to answer this.

[A]

No, you don't. We're fucking filming.

[B]

What are you talking about? No, this is my realtor.

[A]

All right, Take your call. Oh, for sake. Your realtor? No. Can you call her back? Maybe we'll call her back in the post show and hear what that's about. Okay, can we do that? Okay, we'll call her realtor in the post show. I swear. It better not be an offer expectant. I'm gonna. I'm gonna kill you. Don't you so I'm gonna kill you. The minimum payment is probably 105. Oh, Costco. Who has the Costco card?

[B]

That's mine.

[A]

Okay, you're becoming the problem. It's really starting to stack towards your direction. $402.05 purchasing. Minimum payment $41. Oh, I thought it was going to be more groceries. It's tea mugs. Teriyaki house. There's Costco, Arco Harvest International, Honeybee family fry mix. Salty lemonade. Something at the markets.

[B]

The farmer markets are life. I like going to the farmer's market.

[A]

Good. I like you being able to pay off your debt. Asshole. You're spending money on debt. You're making debt. Go up. There is no avalanche or snowball. It ain't a thing. Oh, guys, I'm sorry. What the. Are you gonna do you're considering she might tell us an offer is accepted in the post show. I'm gonna die. You're gonna need to back the out. You can't afford this. You're only going further into debt. Oh, okay. Okay. Actually, the last one is Klarna. This one's a firm.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

West and gold aesthetics. Western gold aesthetics. What are we doing? Dude, she's spending like insane.

[C]

That was that.

[B]

Those are my faces.

[A]

You know what happens when you walk away from a conversation. You have no idea what the is going on. You need to hold her accountable. Not in the traditional way. In like the American way with good conversations and budgeting.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Not the 1950s American way either.

[C]

Dang.

[A]

That's less of a slap, more of a fist.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[B]

They were for my facials.

[C]

Your skin does look great.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

It looks okay. What? It's a little greasy. Just like mine. And you look your age. Like. That's it.

[B]

I told you, you gotta see the before pics.

[A]

I don't give a shit. You just look your age. It's fine.

[C]

Yeah, that's gotta slow down.

[A]

Are you. Huh?

[C]

The facial has gotta slow. This gotta.

[A]

Are you retinoling?

[C]

No, I'm saying it's gotta.

[A]

Okay, that's good. Slow sunscreen every day.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

Okay, you're doing the two things that actually matter then. Animist. Most of the shit is like, honestly just like fake science. H. Well, a lot of it just has so many conflicting blah, blah, blahs. And every esthetician has their own opinions and it's.

[B]

It's his esthetician.

[C]

I introduced you to her. Yeah, that's true. She does my eyebrows.

[A]

Minimal payment on this, like 80 bucks. I don't know. I just gotta keep going, man. Amazon Who?

[B]

That's not mine.

[C]

Amazon. Yeah, that's mine.

[A]

Finally, back to Muhammad. Here we go with. Well, again. He doesn't seem to be the issue. $193. I mean, it's not good.

[C]

Yeah, some 4K movies.

[A]

Okay, die. $35, your minimum payment. That's stupid. Amazon. Amazon.

[B]

She paid that off.

[A]

I thought she. Maybe he did.

[C]

I bought her some movies during Black Friday.

[A]

Oh, wait, this is a Honda. Oh, wait. Is this another loan on this? On the same car?

[B]

No, it's a different car.

[A]

Different car. Another Honda. Big Honda fans. Huge minority payment. So this is your car?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What is it?

[B]

It's a CRV. It's a 2026 CRV.

[A]

Why do you get that at a thousand dollars a month that you make? 1700. What the. You have literal $773.03 minutes. The payment. Even though you make $1700 a month. What is wrong with you? What is with Americans? You know, speaking of cultures and how western culture is a superior culture in this world. So far we have failed at this endless highway building and endless car dependency. And then you thinking you need a new car. That is half your income. What the is wrong with you? A $40,000 balance. 539 as well. What's the value? What's the value? This is crazy. It's only worth 34. It's only worth 34.

[C]

A 2026 CRV.

[A]

34. We clocked in her VIN, dude.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

I'm being told you thought you haggled on it like a classic Middle Eastern. And usually you think you're the best hagglers. Usually it's like watches in the mall,

[C]

but I got it for pretty good.

[A]

Well, no, it's worth 34. What's the interest rate on this?

[C]

4.99.

[B]

He pays on that one, not me. I don't pay that one.

[C]

We.

[B]

Oh, right.

[A]

I think you got haggled like. Oh, sir, I have such a good deal for you, brother. This is such a good deal. I promise. Just take this, sir. Sign right now. It's so good.

[C]

I got it brand new.

[A]

Yeah, that's usually not good.

[C]

Really?

[A]

Yeah, it's the quickest appreciated. Okay. Wait, is there a Chevy Spark as well?

[B]

No, it's a Sonic.

[C]

That's the one that broke down.

[B]

Old car.

[C]

Yeah, the engine seized up, so I had to get her.

[A]

Wait, what is this? Honda Accord loan. 8,000. Oh, okay, so this is a separate loan. You have a thousand six hundred still owed on this broken car.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, we gotta get the title before we can sell it.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, but if you weren't spending on so much, you'd just pay this off immediately. $409.10 a month. This is. Okay, so this is Mohamed's, right?

[B]

No, that's my old car.

[A]

Oh. And it's worth 1500, so just about.

[B]

Well, it's broken, so it probably is not worth anything.

[A]

Who has student loans?

[B]

We both have student loans.

[A]

Who's. Who's. Advantage.

[B]

Advantage.

[A]

Okay, well, that's chunky. What was your degree?

[C]

So those student loans actually came from a previous degree. I went to film school. Film and television production. And then.

[A]

And I let you. We're both into that nerd show. We'd probably be good friends outside of financial audit. But buddy, the way you're doing it is insane. Yeah, it's insane. Did you ever do anything with that degree?

[C]

No.

[A]

Exactly.

[C]

No. I went back to school after the Navy.

[A]

You sure did. Oh, for like 6.8. So minimum payment 406.39 right now. And then yours is 56,000.

[B]

It's actually 66. That's.

[A]

It's gone up.

[B]

It's gone up.

[A]

Oh, my. Cause you're continuing to borrow for school.

[C]

That's right.

[A]

Sake.

[B]

Yeah, I'm in my second semester.

[A]

Oh, you're gonna be there forever.

[B]

So my second degree. Well, stop. Third grade.

[A]

Go get a job, dumbass. Okay. I'm so fucking done here. This is $5.26 in savings, checking account, down from 2,600 to 1,800. This. This joint. This federal joint. Okay. Sportsplex. Burros and fries. Disney plus. Momentos. Momentos.

[B]

Momentos.

[A]

Restaurant Boulevard, maybe that's parking. I don't know. Barnes and Noble. Hana Sushi. Barnes and Noble. Chuckle Membership. Children international. Children. $30.

[C]

Oh, I donate to.

[A]

Donate to your own child by paying off your debt. Dude. And then give more. Jack in the Box. Vending machine. Going inside getting some bullshit, man. Where's, like, the halal food? I love that shit. That's just so good.

[C]

It's.

[A]

It is. You got nothing.

[C]

You got to come out to San Diego, man.

[A]

Dude, I'd love it. Is that where all the. Well, you got to go to Michigan. No, that's where all the. That's where all your people are.

[C]

Yeah. When my family came here, they went to Michigan first, but it was too cold, so then they went. It is too cold.

[A]

But, man, let me tell you, the Middle Eastern food there is crazy. I can't find any of it down here. It kind of sucks. I swapped it for Mexican food, but that's okay. I'm Texas barbecue, so I'll accept it. Apple Bell. Chick Fil. A Robert V Battery. Chuck E. Cheese. Pedophiles. Chuck E. Cheese.

[C]

We have a Robert.

[A]

What a sign. Amazon. Get in the game with the college

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NA Select Schools available.

[B]

Venmo stash terms and exclusions [e-mail] Terms Max 100 cash back per month.

[A]

Oh, here we go. Alphenar Restaurant. That sounds a bit.

[C]

That is a. That is a really good Syrian place.

[A]

Ooh, Syrian. Okay.

[C]

Best beef kebab I've ever had.

[A]

We love it. We love it. That's very good. They currently don't have a government, but at least they can still make food. Taco Bell. Primo water. Primo water. That's what we do here. I don't know why you guys need to do it at your own homes. That's what we do it in our office. Primo water. Grossmount Cinema. Baskin Robbins. Grossmont Cinema. Jana's Burger. Mementos again.

[B]

They have really good chilaquiles. So good.

[A]

What the. Did you call me?

[B]

No, I said they have really good chilaquiles.

[C]

It's a.

[B]

The dish. It's a Mexican dish.

[A]

Why'd you say it like a Mexican? Are you Mexican? What are you?

[B]

I'm Filipino. And I'm white.

[A]

Damn, girl, you got colonized. Famous footwear. Venmo. Venmo. Fashion value. Arusa.orggrub.com I don't even know what these things are. It keeps going. Barnes and Noble. Might be okay. Go to the library. Spot free rent. Spot free rent. Spot free rent. Spot free rent. Doesn't sound free to me. Spending a lot of money there. Dilly's Ice Cream. Chuck E. Cheese. Bullshit. Public Square. Momentos. Bullshit. Amazon. Mira Mesa Lanes. More. Amazon. Amazon. Amazon, Amazon. Jack in the Box. Netflix. Harvest International. Rose Donuts. Barnes and Noble. Then we know money. You're equal spenders. You're not snowballing. You're not payoffs. Hey, guys. Where's our savings and investing? This is it. 5,400.

[B]

That's.

[A]

That's all we got. Where's you?

[C]

I don't.

[A]

Dude, you're 40. You're boomer.

[B]

That's. That's why I. I don't.

[A]

You're a boomer, and you got nothing.

[C]

Am I a boomer? Not a boomer.

[A]

Me. Okay. Let's try to make this budget good. I can't wait to hear what this realtor says. I hope it's that your offer was not accepted, because. Please. It can't be. It just can't be. Guys. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Guys, this is horrendous, these minimum payments. Good luck.

[C]

Put an extra dollar each one in each one.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

It'll go down fast.

[B]

That does not make that much difference.

[A]

All right, Our minimum payments is literally $5127.10. What the. Your rent's 25.

[B]

You said yes. 22,250.

[A]

Okay. What about utilities, Internet? All combined.

[B]

Let's say like one 190. 190.

[A]

Oh, that's not bad. Okay. Gas? Vroom. Drive. Drive. How much?

[B]

250 for each of us?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Together.

[C]

No, no, no. Like 250 car. No. Yeah.

[B]

Well, your work is like five minutes down the street.

[C]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So maybe like 150 for me.

[A]

So 250 total.

[C]

350.

[B]

We'll do 350 car insurances. Did that go down well?

[C]

No, it went up because of the CRV. How much? Hold on, hold on. I think it's 1365 for six months. So what is that every month?

[A]

1365?

[C]

Yeah, I think so.

[A]

For six months?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay, good. $227.

[C]

Yeah, that sounds right.

[A]

I have to speed up because I have to go on Fox News where they hate people that look like you. No phone bill. How much?

[B]

250.

[A]

Food? 750 should be fine. Meal prep, meal plan. Use our resources, TP fund anything else you guys need to survive. 200, that's your facials. That all fits in that it's a toilet. Paper, dildos, whatever you need.

[B]

Medical healthcare, monthly basis, $25 a month for me and co pays are probably like. We'll say 30. So 55.

[A]

Okay, 55 subscriptions. I'll charge you 50 bucks. You have any pets?

[B]

Yes, one. We have a cat.

[C]

One cat.

[A]

Okay. I know you guys are anti dog, right?

[C]

We are not anti dog.

[A]

Really? Someone in New York City was this.

[B]

I love the fact that.

[A]

So that they can't have dogs.

[B]

Okay. Yeah. Yes.

[A]

Okay, well, 50 bucks for pet insurance, pet food. How much?

[B]

30. I would say like, like 15 bucks a month.

[A]

Okay. Anything else that needs to be in this budget?

[B]

No, I think that's it.

[A]

All right. Needed to survive. Yeah. I don't know how you're gonna. Yeah. Increase payment. Good. The luck just needed to survive on a monthly basis when paying off that debt before that back deferred interest hits is $9471.60 and your total income is $11,099. Guys, you're renting. Stay renting. This call I am honestly nervous to hear, but you essentially have 1500 left on a monthly basis. I mean, that's pretty much it. Even with that, all this debt, we'll get rid of the student loans, but you guys have a total of $235,266 for 2 cents of debt. Just crazy. But let's minus the 56,684. Then let's minus the additional 56,263.91 because you'll minimum to payment your student loans until they're paid off. That brings bad debt to 122,995.27. Horrendous. Disgusting. My life. I mean that's horrible. With your 1500 left on a monthly basis with no fund spending, still takes 81 months to pay off. I might be considering. Nah, no, you don't need to do bankruptcy. You need to go make more money. Bring in an extra few thousand dollars and you'll pay off this debt quicker. Right now it's six years. I think you can pay it off in three. And then you guys can get a house. But you have to go get a job now. He's already working, he's doing fine. You need to go double your income. I don't think you need to go get this other degree. Go bring in money, pay off the debt, get it the other degree later. Double your income now and you can pay off the debt quicker. All right, we need to call the realtor back and I have to go because this episode went very long. But let's get their Hammer Financial score and then join us in the post show. Spending in a budget. Well, he's overspent. Zero out of ten debt, no collections. This is basically. We just saw the numbers. Basically horrendous one out of ten emergency fund. Zero out of ten wasn't a full thousand. Retirement horrible for our age was about a one out of ten real estate. Zero out of ten really bad guys. Really bad. Hammer financial score 0.5 out of ten rounded up. Get [e-mail] now click that join button. Join Hammer Elite for three premium shows posted every single day. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday. Join us for the post show.

[C]

See you there.

[B]

You have a second? I just. I have some really big news for you guys. Okay. Yeah. Guess what? You guys closed. Congratulations on your new home.

[A]

How much? Okay, I'm so done. Don't forget to Download the new $wise button Budgeting app. This is officially now the best budgeting app on the market. And I'm giving you a special deal to download but only through March 31st. Take a free three day trial to test it out and then you get the monthly plan at a 33 discount for the first three months or the annual plan at an insane 50 discount. And with the annual you get my budget friendly cookbook and my brand new 30 day detailed budget meal plan. Signed by me and mailed directly to you after March 31st. The cookbook is going away forever, so this is literally your last chance. Don't miss the opportunity of a lifetime. Download Dollar Wise to start your free trial, go to Dollarwise.com or click the link below.