Loser Husband Blows All His Wife’s Money | Financial Audit

Summary

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Financial Audit Podcast Episode Summary

Episode: Loser Husband Blows All His Wife’s Money | Financial Audit
Date: July 1, 2024
Host: Caleb Hammer
Guests: Alex (comedian/waiter) & Alexis (digital marketing specialist) – married couple from Killeen, TX

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Overview

This episode features a married couple, Alex and Alexis, undergoing a financial audit with host Caleb Hammer. The primary focus is on their struggling household finances driven by imbalanced income, poor communication, and persistent debt, particularly due to Alex’s spending habits and attitudes toward credit card “cash back.” Through frank discussion and some comedic moments, Caleb dissects their finances, challenges their beliefs, and lays out a pathway toward financial health.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Income & Occupation Breakdown

• Alexis: Digital marketing specialist, earning $58,000/year.
• Alex: Waiter and aspiring stand-up comedian, bringing in $12,000–$15,000/year waiting tables and $5,000 from comedy; describes comedy income as “more of a grind” and admits it’s not sustainable yet.
• Household Income: Around $70,000–$80,000.

Memorable Moment:
[01:07]
Alex: "I think last year I did 5,000."
Caleb: "Okay, so more of a hobby, more of a grind, more of a. We're trying. We're trying."
Alex: "We're doing our best."

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2. Relationship with Money & Responsibility

• Finances Combined: All major accounts are joint.
• Financial Roles: Alexis handles the bills; Alex rarely checks bank accounts, claiming he avoids temptation to spend (e.g., $50/day on cigars).
• Communication: Major disconnect. Alex is openly disinterested in financial management; Alexis is unsure of his goals and vice versa.

Quote:
[12:14]
Caleb: "So you guys just don't talk about money. No, but this is a big part of a relationship."

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3. Credit Card Debt & Cash Back Delusions

• Both have Discover credit cards; balances: Alex ~ $4,600, Alexis ~ $2,200.
• Both often pay slightly above the minimum but then continue spending on the card, negating payoff gains.
• Alex’s misconception: Obsessed with the idea that “cash back” benefits justify his frequent credit card usage, disregarding the high interest charges.

Key Exchange:
[07:26]
Alex: "Yeah, but you get cash back."
Caleb: "With $67.59 of interest. Well, cash back is for people who never pay interest…"

[10:04]
Caleb: "You sound like Theo Vaughn."
Alex: "I get compared to Theo Vaughn all the time…"

• Caleb’s Teaching: Draws diagrams to illustrate how interest on a high balance far outweighs any marginal “cash back” rewards.

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4. Spending Habits & Accountability

• Spending Patterns: Frequent unnecessary transactions (cigars, DoorDash, donuts, bowling alley, etc.).
• Lack of Budgeting: Budgeting was attempted in 2020 but abandoned; no meaningful tracking since.
• Mutual Enabling: Despite Alexis’ role as the “responsible” partner, both contribute to bad habits (e.g., Alexis’ $400+ on her card, surprise Etsy buys).

[18:50]
Caleb: "People think it's so, like, cute to be bad with money or something? Like, what is happening?"

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5. Taxes and Loans

• Back Taxes: Ongoing issues from failing to submit W-2s; mostly Alex’s past jobs.
• Student Loans: Both have loans—Alexis in deferment (~$11,000), Alex owes ~ $2,500.
• Car Loan: Mercedes with high loan balance ($14,100 at 7% interest).

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6. Homeownership and Neighborhood Concerns

• Mortgage: 2.75% on a $161,000 FHA loan, monthly payment $1,523.90; house now valued at ~$240,000.
• Neighborhood Regrets: Bought “sight unseen” in Killeen, TX, now unhappy with crime in the area but recognize low rate as a silver lining.

[34:06]
Caleb: "Fire the realtor. What are you doing? You signed on a home and a mortgage without a final walk through."

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7. Vehicle Collection & Sentimentality

• Multiple Vehicles: Three cars (only one, a Mercedes, is valuable), a barely-driven Dodge truck, and a non-drivable classic car project; also a motorcycle worth ~$10,000.
• Justifications: Alex emotionally attached, resists selling, despite pressing debt.
• Caleb’s Take: “Sell the cars”; criticizes emotional attachment as barrier to progress.

[50:04]
Alex: "So whenever I was a little kid, my dad died when I was 7 and he had the same pickup truck. So I bought this pickup truck."
Caleb: "Is it the pickup truck?"
Alex: "It's not the same one..."

[53:13]
Alex: "I bought a motorcycle instead."
Caleb: "Another great use of taxpayer money. How is it—how much is it worth?"
Alex: "About $10,000."
Caleb: "That's awesome. Sell it."

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8. Lack of Financial Goals & Retirement Planning

• Goals: Neither has any; Alex embraces “no Plan B” philosophy (“as long as things are paid for, that’s all that matters”).
• Retirement: Alexis has a 401(k) but no idea how much, with Alex cashing out his previous accounts.

[31:12]
Alex: "Yeah, I have not thought about it. She has a retirement. I don't know how much. I don't know."
Caleb: "Why haven't you looked at—"
Alexis: "I don't know how. I don't know."

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9. Budgeting Exercise & Reality Check

• Caleb guides them through creating a budget and comparing their grocery spending to the national average. They estimate $500/month; in reality, they spend $750+/month despite no kids or dependents.

[45:48]
Caleb: "For that month you guys, this was a little higher because you told us Walmart was grocery shopping. But...you spend likely $750 a month…you don’t have kids…you spend probably an extra $250, $300 more than the average household in America."

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10. Financial Makeover: The Way Out

Caleb’s Prescribed Action Plan:

• Sell motorcycle and a beater car: Use proceeds to wipe out credit card and medical debt, build emergency fund.
• Maintain strict minimum budget: Necessary expenses only.
• Delay indulgence: No more automotive purchases until debt-free with emergency savings.
• Start investing & catch up retirement: 20% of household income post-debt.
• Set shared financial goals and communicate weekly.

[63:26] Caleb: "If you get out of this debt, maybe I'll fund your…starting account as a reward for getting out of this…But you have to actually make sacrifices."

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Income/Occupation: 00:49–02:10
• Financial Roles & Household Dynamics: 05:37–11:48
• Cash Back Beliefs & Credit Card Realities: 06:49–15:00
• Arguments on Spending, Goals, Communication: 11:48–19:49
• Debt Discussion (student loans, car, taxes): 20:53–36:44
• Homeownership & Neighborhood: 33:40–36:44
• Vehicles & Sentimentality: 46:37–54:07
• Budget Exercise: 43:44–45:48
• The Makeover Plan: 61:37–64:00
• Caleb’s Final Assessment & Score: 64:00–65:30

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Notable Quotes

• [07:26] Alex: "Yeah, but you get cash back."
• [10:04] Caleb: "You sound like Theo Vaughn."
• [12:02] Caleb: "The fact that he doesn't even know what—like a household...what...Do you have financial goals for your household?"
• [18:50] Caleb: "People think it's so, like, cute to be bad with money or something? Like, what is happening?"
• [45:48] Caleb: "…you spend likely $750 a month, which is going to be up to this new line...you spend probably an extra $250, $300 more than the average household in America."
• [55:16] Caleb: "Don't get that other debt for the new car. Well, the, the goal is—I don't give a...I've been talking about goals all day. Yeah, but this one's a stupid one. I already know."
• [63:26] Caleb: "If you get out of this debt, maybe I'll fund your...starting account as just a reward for getting out of this."
• [64:00] Caleb: "It's a Hammer Financial Score two and a half out of ten."

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Tone & Atmosphere

• Caleb is blunt, humorous, and occasionally exasperated—never shies from calling out poor decisions.
• Alex provides comic relief but exhibits naive financial logic and a “dreamer” mentality.
• Alexis is embarrassed by their circumstances, aware of the issues, but struggles to enforce boundaries.
• The dialogue is brisk, candid, and often funny, but serious underlying problems are never downplayed.

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Key Takeaways

• The couple’s finances are strained primarily by lack of shared goals, Alex’s impulsive spending, and persistent debt taken lightly.
• Credit card “cash back” is a trap when balances aren’t paid in full—interest vastly outpaces rewards.
• Asset hoarding (cars, motorcycles) is emotionally costly and blocks their financial progress.
• Open, honest conversations and household goals are critical to escaping financial limbo.
• Caleb’s plan: sacrifice now (sell non-essentials, minimize budget, communicate weekly) for the freedom to pursue passions and future security.

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Transcript

[A]

To watch episodes of Financial Audit a week earlier. Check us out on YouTube. See the child of the relationship. He doesn't bring in any money and he apparently spends it all anyway.

[B]

They always say, don't ever have a plan B. I've tried to live my life by saying as long as things are paid for, that's all that matters.

[A]

But you're not. You're not paying off the balance, but.

[B]

You'Re working toward the balance.

[A]

No, you're not. I don't do this for three months.

[B]

Well, she broke up with me and I was living in my truck at that point.

[A]

Probably deserved.

[B]

Hi, I'm Alex.

[C]

And I'm Alexis. I'm 29 years old and we are based out of Colleen, Texas.

[B]

And this is Financial Audit.

[A]

Thanks for coming down. From Colleen. So all these accounts right here, are you guys married?

[B]

Yes, sir.

[A]

Are these combined accounts?

[C]

Yes, yes.

[A]

So I have your guys's accounts. Okay, very cool. So what do we do for a living? We'll start with you. What do you do?

[C]

I'm a digital marketing specialist.

[A]

Cool. What do you bring in?

[C]

58,000 a year.

[A]

Very good. And what do you do?

[B]

I wait tables and do stand up comedy.

[A]

Okay, how much do we bring in from. I gotta ask for the comedy first.

[B]

I think last year I did 5,000.

[A]

Okay, so more of a hobby, more of a grind, more of a. We're trying, we're trying.

[B]

We're doing our best.

[A]

How much comedy is there in Colleen?

[B]

We come to Austin.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. We're fancy. Not into like the big ones, but we. We do. Okay. 5,000.

[A]

What do you mean?

[B]

Like the. The big clubs?

[A]

Like mothership and stuff? Yeah, yeah, we went last night with. Oh, we went to a Rogan show.

[B]

Oh, did you?

[A]

My buddy Hans Kim was performing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And Tony and Rick Diaz. No, Rick. Rick, Joey. It was really cool. 5,000 bucks. So obviously we're not living off of that. How much comes in from the waiting tables? One.

[B]

I would say probably about 12,000 to 15,000.

[A]

Okay, so you're the bread winner.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay, well. Oh, I just got sent some of your com. Oh, okay. I just got a couple things. You mind if I watch these?

[B]

Yeah, absolutely. I love when you watch them.

[A]

You love when I watch them?

[B]

Yeah, when people watch them.

[A]

This is my first.

[B]

I get to look at your face and see if you like it.

[A]

I'm gonna look on my phone because I'm not logged into Instagram on the iPad. Oh, one of our editors, Mika, is also clicking on that link right now himself. He's Watching it in the other room.

[B]

Okay, good.

[A]

Let's see. I'm curious what he's thinking. Let's see what we think. Oh.

[B]

I just make.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Singing videos as well. I'm obviously not a singer.

[A]

Let's see if this one stand up.

[C]

No, it's not.

[B]

No, no. Justin Bieber's having a baby. Shout out to Justin Bieber.

[A]

Yeah. Okay, sick. Let's watch the last one. Love a fellow content creator. Okay.

[B]

Oh, yeah. You've picked the best videos. Guys, listen, I think my house is haunted.

[A]

Well, I didn't pick them.

[C]

Not a single standup.

[A]

Caleb, if you scroll. Okay, let's watch your most. Let's watch your most recent joke. Very good. That's funny. Thank you. Well, they got. They got a little chuckle there. Okay, one more.

[B]

One more crowd work.

[A]

Hey. Better than I could do, man. I can.

[B]

Thank you. Better than my singing.

[A]

Yeah. That's interesting. That was. Those first three were definitely interesting. So $5,000.

[B]

Yeah, well, Facebook just started paying me tens of dollars.

[A]

Huh?

[B]

Facebook just started paying me tens of dollars.

[A]

Oh, tens of dollars.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. So what is the overall plan for the household? Where are we sitting at today, then? Because obviously you're not bringing in much. Say bringing an extra 20. Okay, great. So we're getting to, you know, close to 80. What. What are we doing right now? How are we feeling? What's going on?

[B]

Well, they've just increased our mortgage. What? By $400?

[A]

Property taxes.

[B]

Property taxes and then insurance because of all of the storms and everything. Yeah. So that hurts.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah, no, we're just. That the bills are getting paid right now, so.

[B]

They'Re being. Yeah, they're being paid, but there's not a whole lot extra afterward. And then I. I think with. We're. The goal, obviously, was to pay off some debt, but we have just.

[A]

Why?

[B]

Well, I don't like debt. That's my.

[A]

No, why have we just. As you said.

[B]

Oh, well, so we. We have gotten out. We keep getting back taxes. Where. I don't know if you guys know this, but if you don't pay taxes, they come find you.

[A]

Who's not paying taxes?

[B]

Both of us.

[A]

Well, are you not w2'd no, I am.

[C]

He has just worked so many jobs. We didn't file a couple of W2s and.

[A]

Okay, so it's you. So it's not.

[C]

I filed.

[B]

Yeah, but she filed. Yeah, it was collective, but it's you.

[C]

Okay, but it's your W2s.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah, but it feels better if she's the One who filed.

[A]

Are you the one. So you're the one that files?

[C]

Not anymore, because of that incident.

[A]

But do we file jointly or separate?

[C]

Joint.

[B]

Joint.

[A]

Okay. How is there responsibility on both sides in this relationship when it comes to finances?

[B]

Absolutely not. She doesn't let me see him.

[C]

I don't not let you see them. He just doesn't care.

[A]

Why don't you care?

[B]

I'm just a big spender. And she says, absolutely not. Don't spend that or spend it.

[A]

Is that true? So you don't let him control any part of the money because he just goes and spends it?

[C]

I just have to. I'm the only one who checks the bank account. He doesn't check the bank account.

[A]

Why?

[B]

Because if I check it, I'll be like, all right, I probably shouldn't go spend 50 on cigars today.

[A]

Cigars? $50 on cigars?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

In a day. Okay. All right, well, let's just see. Let's just see. We're gonna jump into the finances, but I want to see where you guys think you're both at.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

As a household. So this is a household. I'm gonna go three, two, one, go, and on go. I want you to give me what you think is the score at the same time of your household finances. 0 being the absolute worst it could be. 10 being the absolute best it can be. So 3, 2, 1, 6. Wow. Interesting. So we're kind of on the same page. Do we both feel like we know where the house is at?

[C]

I think so.

[A]

And we're trying to pay off debt, but we're not. Paying off debt is kind of what you said. But we're above, like, a solid. Solid, like, right down the middle. Five. Like, okay, solid. Yeah, because we're above that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

All right, let's take a look at your debt. All right, Discover it. Everyone gets the Discover it card.

[B]

Mine's pink. I like to do just over the minimum.

[A]

On what? Everything. Or was it just that?

[B]

No, on everything.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Like, if my minimum is like.

[A]

Yeah, but also, you completely ruin it, though, because on the Discover it, sure, you had $4,604, and the minimum payment's close, a little under 100. Then you put $100 towards it, so. Okay, cool. But then he went and spent $20, so. Completely negated it. Completely negated it. And then interest of 67. $67.59. Even though you put $100 towards it, the balance only went down by, like, 10 bucks.

[B]

Yeah, but you get cash back.

[A]

Yeah, but what the. Come on. With the $67.59 of interest. Well, cash back is competing with that. And. But if you're a single month, $67.59 of interest.

[B]

Yeah, but if you look at it like you get cash back on every payment throughout the month, eventually you're gonna.

[A]

Get like say the child, the relationship. I mean, he doesn't bring in any money and he apparently spends it all anyway. Cash back. What? The cash back is for people who never pay interest for interest that's never accruing. What's the, what's the cash back on the Discover?

[B]

Depends, because they sometimes they give you like 5%.

[A]

Okay, 5%, that's pretty good. That's pretty good. But on your balance you're losing 18%, so net like 12%. Yeah.

[B]

They don't say, see right there, 5% cash back.

[A]

Well, yeah, no, yeah. You got 21. You got 21 cents. Congratulations. Plus.

[C]

When you say it like that.

[B]

It doesn't sound so good. Caleb.

[A]

Yeah. So why do we do it? Do you believe it? Well, I did until.

[B]

Well, so like we just bought gas today and I put it on my Discover card opposed to the bank account.

[A]

The Discover. It.

[B]

Correct.

[A]

Okay. Why?

[B]

Because I thought if I got the 5% cash back, then I'm saving money.

[A]

Okay. What do you think about this?

[C]

I was literally going to put it on the bank card and he said, no, I'm going to put it on my.

[A]

Why headed here?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Which one? Who, who pushed to come on here?

[B]

Me.

[A]

That doesn't make. Then you know the show enough and you still put it on a credit card and you're sitting here talking about cash back with me. I'm very confused.

[B]

Well, but. Because we're going to pay it off before it starts. But it was only $25.

[A]

No, but that doesn't matter. The balance is literally only going down by $10 and it's sitting at $4,592.

[B]

But if you get.

[A]

That's getting accrued at 18% rounded.

[B]

But if you pay that 25 off before the next cycle, you shouldn't get interest on that.

[A]

But your overall balance is huge and that's gaining interest. So you. Not the money you're paying off is I guess in your mathematical way paying off the thing you just purchased instead of actually paying down the balance that's gaining interest. So still it's being completely negated.

[B]

I feel like there's a loophole here that I'm missing.

[A]

There isn't. There isn't.

[B]

If at 5%, if I get 5% back and I pay it off.

[A]

You sound like Theo Vaughn.

[B]

I get compared to Theo Vaughn all the time. And I promise I did not beat down syndrome. He says that that was a bit of his. I don't know if you know Theo Vaughn.

[A]

That's why I mentioned it.

[B]

Yeah. Okay, good. But no. So at 5%, if I pay that back before then, I didn't have to use $0, right? I made $0. If I just use my bank account.

[A]

I get what you're saying, but because what you're doing is paying back that immediate purchase, you're not paying down the overall balance instead. And the balance is sitting in there thick and.

[B]

But I will. I will still pay my hundred dollars like you said, from the top.

[A]

So I'm not put extra this. You didn't put extra on this statement?

[B]

No, but for today.

[A]

Why. Why is today special versus this one? Well, is it different than this statement?

[B]

I see. Okay, fair. I see what you're saying, but that was today in my thought process, that is. Why? Because I figured if I got 5% back on this gas and then I still do my hundred dollars.

[A]

The cash back thing.

[B]

Yeah, because.

[A]

Have we had conversations about this? What. What is happening? What are the conversations around the credit cards, the debt, the purchases in this household?

[B]

Well, she tells me not to use.

[A]

The credit cards, say he can use the credit cards.

[C]

I try to tell him, no, I'd rather not if we have the cash. You'd rather not what if we have the cash? I'd rather not put anything on the credit card.

[A]

That's not really putting your foot down, saying, I'd rather you not.

[C]

I try not to be controlling.

[A]

I don't want you to be controlling either. But it's also just like communication, having a conversation about it. He clearly doesn't. Even now, after this conversation, he clearly doesn't seem to understand what's wrong with putting it on a credit card. So it's just like we're not community. What are.

[B]

Well, so my credit used to be.

[A]

What are her financial goals for you guys?

[B]

I have no idea.

[A]

There we go. That's huge. The fact that he doesn't even know what, like a household. What. Do you have financial goals for your household?

[C]

I've told him before that I would. If I had just a house payment, a car payment, I'd be content. It's really just the credit cards. Like, I don't want debt elsewhere, car payments stuff.

[A]

What are his financial goals?

[C]

I don't know that he has any.

[A]

So you guys just don't Talk about money. No, but this is a big part of a relationship.

[C]

That's why I said as long as the bill. As long as the bills are paid.

[A]

Yeah, but the minimum bills you're losing, you're losing money.

[B]

But the cash back, you're gaining money.

[A]

Are you like actually like are you because you're a comedian or like.

[B]

No.

[A]

What is that? Because that's dumb. I've already explained this multiple times. But like that's dumb.

[B]

But if you get the f. If you're going to pay it, I.

[A]

But you're not, you're not paying off the balance.

[B]

But you're working toward the balance.

[A]

No you're not. You $10, $10 net after putting $100 towards it. $10 net.

[B]

That's not bad.

[C]

Oh my God.

[A]

See with me cuz he's a jokester that what's happening or does he really.

[C]

Think this feel like 50 50.

[B]

I do believe that there's cash. I believe the cash back is.

[C]

He does legit say that though.

[A]

It's real. It's real. That's for people who are credit card people who can pay off the balances. You need a card dude, like the fizz card or any other charge card that forces you to pay it off at the end of each month and then you still reap the benefits. Yes, that's what you need.

[B]

But so I started, I think whenever I first got my, my first credit card I had 612 credit score and now I'm up to like an 800.

[A]

Yes. Debt loves you. Debt loves you. You're utilizing it the way they want to. I mean the, the credit line here is 18,000. So like yes, there's a big enough gap there, but you're still getting completely the interest over across the entire statement. You lost $248 this month in interest alone across everything.

[B]

Yeah, cash back's not that well, the.

[A]

Car and credit cards, that's not even including the mortgage. But the car and credit cards was 2,280.

[B]

Oh, 280.

[A]

Yeah. Okay. Which if you're on your own with that would be a substantial amount. Cuz you don't make any money.

[B]

Yeah, that is accurate.

[A]

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[C]

As long as he's working towards something, like I said. And as long as the bills are.

[A]

Paid, I like working towards something. And your comedy was. Was kind of interesting. Again, I'm not like a judge, I'm not a comic, I'm not anything like that. I can only go off of, you know, what my gut reacts to. So. And this is obviously a town to make it in, but it's beyond competitive. Absolutely beyond competitive. How long have you been trying?

[B]

I've been doing comedy for five years.

[A]

Okay. And we've made $5,000. So are we getting an extra thousand dollars per year?

[C]

Probably.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. No, it's more than an extra a year. I think I'm on track to do closer to seven this year, probably. You ever done a bucketball at Kill Tony? I sign up all the time, but I never get pulled.

[A]

I like to go to the show as much as I can.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'd love to see you up there.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

It'd be cool.

[B]

Yeah, It'd be fun.

[A]

Hopefully. I would applaud.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm not really a booer.

[B]

No, no, they love booers.

[A]

Yeah. Especially. Yeah. Okay. Etsy. That's what we spent money on. Something on Etsy.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm gonna discover it. 20.56 on Etsy.

[B]

That was. That was a surprise for me that she bought. But see, that was her.

[C]

That.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So what are you doing? You're supposed to be the responsible one. That's not funny.

[C]

I think it was my card connected to my PayPal, so I just went ahead and purchased it rather than going and getting my bank card because I.

[B]

Ordered it through PayPal and no cash back.

[A]

What's your obsession? See, you've fallen for the trap. You've fallen for the trap. Okay, now the classic. Wait, we have two discoverers.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So that was probably hers.

[C]

That was mine. And the pink one is his.

[B]

Yeah. See, now you'll start to see users on.

[C]

No.

[A]

Oh, I asked if at the beginning.

[C]

Oh, okay. Sorry. That's the bank. The bank account.

[B]

Yeah. All of my credit cards are mine.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And then hers are hers.

[C]

That is my only car.

[A]

Or.

[C]

No, I have two cards in there, actually.

[A]

So you're the one with a balance of almost 5, 000 bucks. And you don't. And you're spending on it and you're supposed to be the good one. That's how this was set up. That's not funny. What are we like, what are we laughing? What are we laughing? Why are we laughing? Do people. People think it's so, like, cute to be bad with money or something? Like, what is happening?

[C]

$20.

[A]

Do we have to go through this again? Just, like the gas thing. I know it has the NET. NET. Only $10 went towards paying off the card. Even though you gave it a hundred dollars.

[C]

That actually got refunded too, because they messed up my order.

[A]

Okay. Still. Even with your spending. Yes, it's. It's hilarious. Is this cute? What are we doing? Why are we all laughing?

[C]

I'm embarrassed.

[B]

She does get embarrassed easily.

[C]

So I'm Laughing because I'm embarrassed.

[A]

Okay, okay, fair enough. So you discover it.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Now I have no idea what has gone on that probably.

[A]

So you guys don't even know what's happening on each other's no credit cards?

[C]

No, probably not.

[A]

You guys need to just sit down and talk about. We're gonna send you through our budget. Budgeting educational system. You need to go through that together. Literally go through it together. Spend the three to four hours it takes after quizzes and everything. Go through that together. Seriously, please, I need you to. You guys need to start having conversations at a minimum about what the is going on financially in the household.

[B]

We. There was a couple of years ago, we sat down and we actually were like, okay, we spend this much on this. This much on this. But that was I think like 2020 and we have not looked back.

[A]

You know the last time a comedian came on here and then ended up going on Kill Tony, he got obliterated. Really? Like his set flopped beyond hard.

[B]

Wow, thanks for putting that on me.

[A]

Yeah, again, it's not something I could do, but I'm also not signing up to do it again. You're the good one, apparently, and he's the bad one in the finances. But his balance is half the size of yours. 2191.77 with a 63 minimum payment. You're right, you did put way more than the minimum on yours.

[B]

Okay. Yeah, so I didn't know which one you were. I didn't realize I was.

[A]

But you still went and spent $400 then. So I'm still confused because $42 of interest is accruing on this. So why are we spending money on a card that is having interest accruing? Why not to get it to zero, then do the purchases you're going to do, then pay them off every time. Why would we do purchase on a card that already has a balance that you can't fully pay off?

[B]

Yeah. So that what literally the reason. So you should be. Is it the Walmart, Is that the purchase that you're talking about?

[A]

Let's see.

[B]

Because there should be.

[A]

Walmart's one of them, sir. It was a big one. But then there's also comedy club and going in a gas station, getting some. Going to the gas station, getting some bullshit spare time. Is that a gas station?

[C]

No, that's a bowling alley.

[B]

Yeah, bowling alley.

[A]

Great. And then a restaurant, the gin. So no, not just Walmart. Five bull purchases on a card that we can't pay off.

[B]

Well, so the big one at Walmart was. I lost my headphones. I was actually on my way back from Michigan doing a show and left my headphones on the airplane. So I had to go buy more AirPods. But I put it on my credit card. I'm an avid runner and I. Congratulations.

[A]

Get a pair of headphones that go over your ears, that plug into your phone.

[B]

That's.

[A]

Yeah, you don't have money, you make no money.

[B]

That's fair. But the reason I put it on the credit card was so that way I could get the cash back.

[A]

Oh, you're gonna murder me. You. I don't think I can get through to him on this cashback thing. I really don't.

[B]

But what did I say? What did I save on those headphones by using cash back?

[A]

But you're not though, because in the end, remember you went to throw that thousand dollars at this overall balance, which would have taken it down further if you didn't put the AirPods on here. So in the end, the balance higher and is getting attacked with a 22.24% interest rate, which is well above whatever cash back you got. Not even close to comparable. You're losing.

[B]

But did I pay that one off?

[A]

You're literally making like a dollar off of losing $100.

[B]

If I, I believe I paid that one off instantly though.

[A]

No, the, the purchase.

[B]

Uh huh.

[A]

But the money you were throwing towards it because you put money on it, the money you throw towards it decreases the overall balance less because you got such a big item on it and that large amount of interest is accruing on that balance. A whiteboard, please.

[B]

Yes. Oh, you're losing me here.

[A]

This is Noah's special little whiteboard. And I'm going to steal it. How do I want to visualize this? How do I want to visualize this? Oh my gosh. Dildo marker. Well, that makes sense. Okay, okay, go with me here because I'm trying to think of how to visualize this. Okay, here is the big scary debt. Okay, let's say this is a $2,000 debt.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

You have an extra $1,000 to throw at it.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Okay, but this whole 2,000 is accruing interest, right? Okay, let's say at 22%. Yeah. You have a gorgeous, gorgeous $1,000 you can throw towards it. It's incredible. $1,000. And you could throw it right at this to cut it in half. But oh, we went and spent $250, which would be about this much. $250. Right. So now when you cut this $1,000 in half. It's no longer in half anymore because you still added more to the pie.

[B]

Well, yeah, of course. Okay, I see. Yes, I see that this is still.

[A]

Accruing interest because less in the end was paid off because you're adding a balance to the stupid thing.

[B]

Right, but. So if I would have just taken the $250 and bought the headphones outright, that still would not have gone on there?

[A]

Yes, you couldn't afford the headphones you couldn't have afforded. You just couldn't afford them. And if you're gonna put it somewhere, don't put it at least on the card. Even if that means you have $750 less on here. Just your behavior, your behavior of thinking you should be putting things on cards is bad. You need to address your behavior.

[B]

So you're saying if you have the cash to just pay for things in cash and just leave the card alone.

[A]

Let me cap this thing up before I get someone pregnant. Thank you, sir. What do we think about that?

[B]

So if I have the cash to buy the headphones now, I should have just left the card alone and just put the remainder of that thousand, which would have been what? Roughly $750.

[A]

I have another graph for you.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Visualize this because we like to be helpful. Yeah. The red is the cash back rewards you are receiving.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

The blue is the interest that is hitting you. Let's see what the reward versus the consequences are.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

You can see how they compare. Is that red really improving your life?

[B]

And what is this on putting it.

[A]

On screen across your credit cards? All credit cards, right. Both Discover credit cards. Both Discover. $3,000 for two days. I was broke and you just held on. I stole loan money and spent it instead of correct. Because obviously if you drop out of classes within those two days, you don't have to pay for those credits, typically. So you're in that refund amount of time. Yes, but we used it and we just spent it. On what?

[B]

So I was in Florida and she was in Indiana, and I used that to move to Indiana.

[A]

Borrowed money, man. And student loans. Okay. What do you think about that?

[C]

I mean, I'm glad that he was able to move up.

[A]

Yeah. Well, also. What were you bringing? How did it cost 3,000? I'm just confused.

[C]

No, he lived on it too, after he moved.

[A]

Okay, well, that makes sense because I only associate, you know, like, yes, we can bring in statistics from other people, but if I'm just thinking about myself when I got my job done in Austin, Texas, five and a half Years ago. And I went from Michigan. I paid a security deposit down on something. Gas money and stopping for food on the way. Other than that, I literally just like threw away or gave away or even tried to sell. But that was harder because it was like a one week turnaround. Like two thirds of my stuff packed up everything else in a sedan and just drove down. Like. Yeah, that's really $3,000.

[B]

Yeah, that's what I did. But then I lived on that until I got there. You go until.

[A]

Why'd you say it was because of moving then?

[B]

Well, because it was. Yes.

[A]

What do you mean?

[B]

Because I did. So I was working at a shop.

[A]

In Florida and could have gotten some McFry job. You could have. That's what.

[B]

Yeah, I did.

[C]

Yeah, he did. After the money was gone.

[A]

After the money was gone. So you wanted to go through the.

[B]

Well, no, because I had a business idea that I. So I.

[A]

You have a business idea? What's your business?

[B]

So I bought a couple motorcycles and I was resell them.

[A]

Oh me.

[B]

But I ended up selling them to somebody who was a close friend who took advantage of the situation.

[A]

Sounds like a great friend.

[B]

Turned out to be not such a good friend. So obviously I lost all of that money and then that's when I got a job.

[A]

You want to be told that that's a stupid business to get into? Apply to be on the show calebhammer.com apply. Because that's a stupid decision. Either way for someone in your position at that time. $3,000 to live. Like, I don't think we're taking on the risk of starting that type of business. But I thought that if I so much like in.

[B]

If you flip this motorcycle and I could have made a couple thousand, which.

[A]

Was the goal, obviously. I don't think your goal was to lose money. I'm not saying that.

[B]

But it. That is what happened.

[A]

I know that's what happened. Okay, so how long did you try that and then you went and got the McFry Duncan job?

[B]

I think that was about. Yeah, about three months.

[A]

Three months. It was to do this for three months?

[B]

Well, she broke up with me and I was living in my truck at that point.

[A]

Probably deserved. I can say that because you guys are together. I mean, aren't you married?

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Okay, cool.

[C]

And we. We got back together after he had this job.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. I mean he's kind of. It seems like he's kind of in this cycle of. Trust me, I'm talking about him for a second. But you're not good with Your finances. We've gone this. But let's just talk about jobs and stuff like that. Seems like maybe some aspirations. Yes, but just kind of fumbles around and tumbles around trying to shoot for the stars without really bringing in money ever.

[C]

I mean, yeah, kind of like. Because he's definitely job hopped. But it's like that's what. As long as he's making something and.

[A]

But there's. It's more than that though, because just making something isn't necessarily gonna get the household to the goals. Now we don't have household goals, which I think is the main issue because without goals we're kind of aimless. We don't know where we're shooting for. So you don't know what to do to even get there. I guess if we have no goals, if we have no retirement goals of what we want to do in retirement, if we don't want, you know, travel, all this stuff. If you want to be able to spend more time doing a comedy without having to worry about the debts over your head and paying for rent and all, whatever you know is going on, mortgage saving up for down payment, you know, having kids, stuff like that. If, if we don't have the goals, then just around works. Yeah, but that won't work in life in the end.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

I've always been the kind of guy that, you know, if you look at any of the, your, your A list people, they always say don't ever have a plan B. So I've just, I've tried to live my life by saying as long as things are paid for, as long as the, the we have a roof over our head, that's all that matters. Just put as. Put in as much time for your.

[A]

We get nowhere from that though. What's your, what's your retirement plan? Both of you, you as a household, what are we doing?

[C]

I don't have any.

[A]

We're the same age. So I don't know if I can rely on Social Security by the time I retire. I mean, they keep having to push back retirement age because it's, you know, it's not managed very well. So.

[B]

Yeah, I have not thought about it. She has a retirement. I don't know how much I don't know.

[C]

I don't know what I've put into it. I've been working at my same job for six years.

[A]

Why haven't you looked at.

[C]

I don't know how. I don't know.

[A]

You don't know what company it's with.

[C]

I don't have any Idea.

[A]

Oh, okay. What's your percentage contribution? I'm going to my wrist. Okay.

[C]

Not a clue.

[B]

I had. When I worked at a mattress store, I had retirement, but then whenever I quit working there, I pulled it out.

[A]

That's another thing with the no goals. This is like, oh, it doesn't even matter to have retirement that way. May as well just tap into it if we're not trying to get somewhere. So. Okay. And you're not paying on your student loans, Are you in a weird payment?

[C]

I kind of screwed myself. I just last year I tried to go back to school and so I.

[A]

What?

[C]

Business administration.

[A]

I mean, that's great.

[C]

Yeah. And. But it ended up being way too much.

[A]

So you're not making bad money.

[C]

No.

[A]

Unless, you know, you just wanted a different career path, which is totally okay.

[C]

And that's kind of. Yeah.

[A]

So you're in a little bit of deferment. Until how long? Until when?

[C]

I just got a notification that they're actually supposed to start again in August.

[A]

So your minimum monthly payments probably going to be like 150 bucks.

[C]

Oh, gosh, I didn't know it'd be that much.

[A]

But probably. I mean, unless you're able to get on like, you know, there's different repayment plans you can get on.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

But even still with those, like, interest can accrue more. And then if you're looking for any kind of forgiveness, you know, depends on job, depends on life situation, depends on the repayment plan. But even still, once you get to the point of forgiveness, it also kind of depends on administration. Who's overseeing the Department of Education. You know, there's a lot of risk involved. Public student loan forgiveness. That one is pretty darn good. The statistics are screwed on it a bit where they're like almost no one makes it. But that's because, yeah, a lot of the people who apply for it don't qualify for it already, like legitimately. So, like, excuse the statistic, but typically as long as you're actually sticking in the job, that qualifies for that and you just don't up along the way, you can get it forgiven, but. Well, that's not even your situation anyway, way. So I think it's going to be like 150 bucks starting next month.

[C]

You said August, so here in a couple months. Yeah.

[A]

Your student loans are 3,000. What's up with the payment on that?

[B]

50 bucks a month.

[C]

I think it's downed, which with COVID it. We haven't been paying on them though.

[B]

Yeah, it just restarted. Yeah. I Think last October.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Well, that's fine. Yeah. So 3,000.

[B]

I think it's down to like 23 or 25. Yeah, 25 or something in there.

[A]

And then the mortgage. What I love about this is the 2.75% rate. So when did we get this house?

[C]

20, 21.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

That was a fun experience.

[A]

And we're happy. Got our house.

[B]

Yeah, we're happy with the house. It was just. We did it. We bought it sight unseen and.

[A]

What?

[B]

Yeah, yeah. We had never been.

[A]

That's a choice.

[B]

Yeah, kind of. But our realtor didn't even do like, a final walk through. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Fire the realtor.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

What are you doing? You signed. You signed on a home and a mortgage without a final walk through.

[B]

Yeah, we didn't.

[C]

We didn't know that she didn't do the final walkthrough for us until we were signing the papers.

[B]

Yeah, she didn't even show up to our closing.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Who the. Are you guys using?

[B]

Yeah, that was rough.

[C]

But the house is nice. Like, it's a really nice house, but.

[A]

Well, what's the issue then?

[B]

The city ghetto. Yeah.

[A]

Was city clean?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Clean has a bad part.

[B]

I've never been is the bad part.

[A]

Oh, Colleen's bad. Isn't it just a military base?

[B]

Yeah. The worst one in the. In the country.

[A]

Worst military base in the country.

[C]

It's like there's a lot of.

[A]

Never heard that. We've had quite a few cleaners.

[B]

There's document or documentaries on Colleen.

[C]

Vanessa Gillen or. Yeah.

[B]

People going missing. She. I was just at work the other day, and she's like, yeah, another double homicide. And it was like a 1.5 miles.

[C]

Away from our house.

[A]

Yeah, man. Okay. So did you at least research the neighborhood?

[C]

Yeah, the neighborhood is nice. It's more so that. Yes. It's the town as a whole. That is not the best.

[A]

So you don't like living in clean. Why are you in Colleen?

[B]

It was affordable. We were. We tried to move to Texas for comedy.

[C]

Austin. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. And that's just where we could afford.

[A]

What's a. I guess 161,000. Yeah, that's definitely difficult, even in the far reaches of Austin.

[C]

And I just didn't want to rent anymore. I was tired of renting.

[A]

I love the rate, honestly. I personally love this purchase. As long as it's in a place you like.

[B]

Yeah, well. And it was a.

[C]

It has its perks and it has its downfall.

[A]

Well, are you guys gonna have kids and you want to raise kids there.

[B]

And that's where it kind of. You're like, I don't know.

[A]

So it's the plan with this. Because, I mean, the Texas market in general has been in a little bit of a dip. Don't know specifically about that area.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, I mean, probably when no one ever really knows. I mean, you still probably need to hold the home for at least like five years is the typical, you know. You know, least break even, hopefully.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

After all the fees and everything.

[C]

Yeah. Which we're in good shape right now. Like, we get a quote, a monthly quote on what the value is.

[A]

What is the value?

[C]

Like 2:30, 240 now.

[B]

Yeah, somewhere right in there.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

It's. Yeah.

[A]

So I think they say 161,119 in the monthly payment with everything included is 1523. Okay.

[B]

That was an FHA loan.

[C]

Yeah, I believe.

[B]

So we pay a little extra year.

[C]

Like insurance a month or something.

[A]

Sure. If you want to take your investing to the next level. My new investing course is still on sale until July 1st. We're offering the course for only $97, which is $50 off. You'll get over 55 lessons, the best budgeting spreadsheet known, demand portfolio strategies, worksheets, retirement strategies, and I'll give you a $100 Moomoo new cash reward when you sign up with Moomoo. Check out the link below for more. Stop buying sweet treats, people, and start investing. And then what is the 7% debt? I know. 14, 100. Oh, what kind of car?

[C]

It's a Mercedes GLK350.

[A]

I can't even picture that.

[B]

It's an SUV.

[C]

Yeah. Small SUV.

[A]

What do you guys need an SUV?

[B]

She likes SUVs. Yeah, we've had Jeeps.

[A]

Okay. And that's 7%. That's not great.

[C]

No, it's not great.

[A]

What's the minimum payment on this?

[C]

310.

[A]

These are stacking. These minimal payments are stacking. It's $14,153.93. Okay. There's also a checking account here, and it's mostly just money is being sent. Yeah, it's all around in a franchise tax thing.

[C]

Oh, there's what it is.

[B]

Oh, so that's got Bright. Yeah. Whenever, like, for our comedy shows.

[A]

What?

[B]

When we sell tickets to comedy shows, it goes into that account.

[C]

But that's. What if you saw in the statement where we were paying out comics and stuff, a lot of that.

[A]

Wait, you host your own shows? Why instead of getting booked?

[B]

Like you said, there's a lot of Competition. So you just create your own opportunity.

[A]

How do those go?

[C]

Pretty good.

[B]

Yeah, they go pretty well.

[A]

Where do you host them?

[B]

Up in Killeen. We do stuff in temple. We do stuff in Georgetown.

[A]

So not in Austin for hosting?

[B]

Not.

[C]

Not around.

[B]

No. Usually when I'm in Austin, I get booked somewhere by someone else.

[A]

Okay. Can you roast?

[B]

I don't like to.

[A]

Okay, that's fine.

[B]

Yeah. I just. I don't like to be mean to people.

[A]

I'm just trying to find a way to destroy Noah's life in the post show.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I don't know. He did. I. I don't know the order of episodes coming out, but he destroyed my life in yesterday's post show, so it is only fair.

[C]

That's funny.

[A]

A roast would have been good, but obviously that's fine. Oh, Noah tells me we're gonna smoke cigars.

[B]

Yeah, I told you. 50 bucks.

[A]

I love a little bit of cancer. For people who subscribe.

[C]

Yeah, absolutely.

[A]

Great. That's all right. Checking account 348. That's actually dangerously not a great balance. No payments come to hit. I see a little payment from comedy there. Cash app and out. $40, $30. Etsy. Apple bill. Apple bill. Going to a gas station, getting some. Getting some donuts. So you're saying you're making no progress on things, But, I mean, look at the spending. The spending's horrendous.

[C]

Uhhuh.

[A]

We doing parking somewhere? Parking somewhere. Sometimes you got to park. But Cito Plaza, probably another parking. In and out. Going inside, getting some bull from 7 11. Paypaling out. $17. Amazon. There's your student loan payment. Dunkin Donuts, Baskin Robbins Car wash. Gotta wash our car. 14. It's your new car. Wait, what year is it?

[C]

Is it 2014?

[A]

2014. It's worth $9,828, by the way. We checked.

[C]

That's it?

[A]

Yep. You're underwater. Five, six, Gracious thousand. But good thing you're getting it. Car washed. Going to gas station, Getting some bullshit. Paying tolls. Getting our tolls for. To drive that car. Pirate ship post. Pirate ship post.

[B]

That's sending out merch.

[A]

You sell merch? Is this successful?

[B]

Yeah, it does.

[A]

Okay, who's buying the merch?

[B]

Me.

[A]

You're buying your own merch.

[B]

Oh, you mean, like. Yeah, it's other people. I thought you meant who's, like, buying it, like, bulk, and then I sell it?

[C]

No, who. Who is purchasing?

[B]

Your people that come to shows and people online and.

[C]

Yeah, friends.

[B]

And not just friends.

[C]

Well, like, the online stuff is mostly Friends and family and fans.

[A]

She's putting you in your place.

[B]

I guess she's uninvited.

[A]

She's humbling you.

[C]

I'm uninvited.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Sometimes it's always good to be a little humbled, you know, Here and there.

[B]

Every day. Every day in my life.

[A]

I was just looking. I wanted to see your follower account.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

When it comes to you, that's not too bad, right? 3,000. So. And that's just a. It's hard to market a lot of merchandise for just.

[B]

It is. Yeah, absolutely. But then we're back over 4,000 again.

[A]

Going back to the gas station, getting some. So doordash Duncan Robbins and doordash Duncan robins. Great. 524 in the savings, only up $22. That's. It's just a keep the change type of thing. See.

[B]

Cash back.

[A]

$22.

[C]

Keep the change of the cash back, essentially.

[B]

I mean, it's the same.

[A]

You remember the interest you lost on. Yeah, but $248.

[B]

But what I'm saying is, in my head, it all makes sense. Until now. Until now.

[A]

Would we like to do a group project?

[B]

Okay.

[A]

All right. It's enthusiastic. Yes.

[B]

I didn't know if that was a real question.

[C]

I wasn't sure. Yeah.

[B]

I'm gonna answer like, we're gonna do it anyway.

[A]

We are gonna do it anyway. But I was hoping you were like.

[B]

You really had crayons. Well, markers, Crayola.

[A]

We're getting the. We're getting the crayon version pretty soon.

[B]

Good. Now I can relate.

[A]

You really do sound like Theo. It's interesting.

[B]

Well, I think he grew up probably making less than $15,000 a year, too.

[A]

Probably.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then he was the lowest percentage that made it. And I love it, and I would love you to make it again, but I'm just. I just go off of odds and the fact that really, I mean, you guys just have to define your goals. You know, it's like if your goals aren't defined, like you got to figure out what you got to do to get to your goals. Right now you don't have goals, so we don't know if what's going on is okay or not.

[B]

Right. That makes sense.

[A]

Well, we're certainly not making any progress on debt. We have barely anyone in our checking account. Our emergency funds non existent. You don't know how much is in retirement. You do not have anything in retirement. So everything's joke. Okay. A group exercise. And here's the base of the chart. You are going to draw two Box charts in whatever thing way you want. So what you're going to do, this is grocery spending, going to grocery store spending, which is a very interesting thing we haven't talked about yet because I wanted you to figure out, you know, what we're doing. So let's say you draw the average. I don't know what the average is. Let's say the average, this is a big thing of average for the average household, the United States grocery shopping. And let's say it's. Let's just go crazy number. So I'm not giving you any hints. Ten thousand dollars. Okay, so this is a ten thousand dollar chart. And let's say you spend five thousand. So you would draw your chart halfway through and you would do 5,000. This is for a month.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

A month of the American average, American household average. And your average for groceries, for grocery store shopping, grocery average, national yours.

[B]

You want me to draw it?

[A]

I want you guys to group think on this and like put your brains together for the first time ever.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And like actually decide where's the national average. I want you to also give me the number in the bar chart. So decide where you think you guys are at and where the national average is at and make sure it's proportional. I will give you time.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Work.

[B]

I would say weekly and you can tell me if you disagree. But weekly, I think people probably spend somewhere in the ballpark of 3 to 3:50 on groceries.

[C]

I disagree.

[B]

Okay. What do you think?

[C]

I know that your brother and Lauren spend 100 for their household of like six people.

[B]

100 a week?

[C]

I think so.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

So.

[C]

So I'd say For a month, 500 is the average per household.

[B]

Okay, I can see that. So we'll just, we'll go. I'll let you write it. There you go. 500. And then we on average spend roughly.

[C]

100 to 150 a week.

[B]

So that's going to be what, somewhere in the ballpark of $500, probably. So we should be right on par.

[C]

Probably. But we're only two people.

[A]

Well.

[B]

My box was bigger.

[A]

He also didn't draw it in the right color, but that's okay.

[C]

Oh yeah. I guess that one used to be red.

[B]

You want me to go over it?

[A]

It's fine. You're good. So to be clear, you guys think the national average for the household is $500.

[C]

Yep.

[A]

And you think you are the average household and you spend $500?

[C]

Yep.

[A]

Okay. Close to the national national average, $475.25.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

For that month you guys, this was a little higher because you told us Walmart was grocery shopping. But you know, we've just found out the airpods are from there. So we subtracted that.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

We subtracted that. So. But even still, you spend likely $750 a month, which is going to be up to this new line, which I crossed out what was likely the AirPods.

[B]

Gotcha. So.

[A]

So you guys spell. And you don't have kids.

[B]

No.

[A]

You don't have any dependence, as far as I know. Right?

[B]

Right.

[A]

And you guys spend probably an extra 250, $300 more than the average household in America. So that's where you guys are compared to the average. But. Huh. Let's figure out your financial potential plans to get out of here. Let's create a budget. Is there anything else? Is there anything else I'm missing here?

[B]

So I. You keep saying goals. I want to. My plan is to. I want to buy another muscle car.

[A]

Another muscle car.

[B]

So I've got a 76 Firebird.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

That I'm restoring.

[A]

Oh, what is this? Sit in the garage for 30 years.

[C]

It's been there three years.

[A]

That's how it usually goes. Okay.

[B]

But I've been working on it. But.

[A]

So you screw a bolt once every two months?

[B]

Well, I'm cutting metal.

[A]

It's.

[B]

It's taken. But.

[A]

So which one have you put into that car?

[B]

I bought it originally for 850. I've sold some things off of it, got it down to 500, but then I bought three. $500 in new parts.

[A]

And it's not doing anything and you're not paying off debt and you have nothing in retirement? We're putting it into a fiber. Cool. And you want to get a new one even though you haven't done anything with the old. You've done stuff, but you're not driving it. It's a drivable.

[C]

No.

[A]

Okay, great. So we should probably get a new one, right? So what's this. What's this new one?

[B]

So that is so I can drive it while I work on this project.

[A]

What?

[B]

But that's.

[A]

Do you. How do. How do you guys. You have to. Is the. Is it. Is a Mercedes the only drivable car at the house?

[C]

No, no. We have a lot of vehicles.

[A]

What the. How many cars do we have?

[C]

We have three cars. Oh, no. Three drivable cars. A motorcycle and a Firebird in the garage.

[A]

The. Are you guys, guys, you have so much debt. You could take care of this today.

[B]

I'm just a very sentimental person. So Congratulations.

[A]

I don't give a sentimental about your debt getting gone. So get it gone.

[B]

But you don't know the cars we have. So I've got. I don't give a 06 Impala.

[A]

Oh, thrilling.

[B]

But it's worth no money, so I can't sell it.

[A]

Grab it and throw that few hundred dollars towards.

[B]

Yeah, it would literally be a few hundred dollars.

[A]

Yeah, throw it towards your debt. Like why waste space?

[B]

Because that's what I drive to work every day. So it keeps.

[C]

So that was my car that we got. We were going to get, I guess.

[B]

The best gas mileage.

[A]

It's not worthless if you're driving it every day.

[C]

He is driving it.

[B]

Yeah, I. Yeah, I drive it every day.

[A]

It's drivable somewhere. It's not completely worthless, right?

[B]

Yeah. No. And.

[A]

And that's why not get anything crazy.

[B]

But yeah, that's. And that's why I don't want to.

[A]

Get rid of it. And the third drivable car.

[B]

So then I' an 85 Dodge pickup.

[A]

Cool.

[B]

And that one is whenever we need to, you know, pick up things with a truck. So I have that.

[A]

Yeah. A comedian and someone who works in an office.

[B]

Well, I work with my hands a lot.

[A]

Cool. Carry then. I don't know. What are you talking about? You have debt.

[B]

The truck also is not worth anything.

[A]

No. Is it drivable?

[B]

Barely.

[A]

It's worth something if you're you. If you're. If your reason for keeping it is because you use it when once a year to carry groceries or something, then it's sellable. That way you might not get anything. But your debt also isn't absolutely insane. It could literally make progress finally.

[B]

That's just what's so hard. Because I've had this truck that I use it.

[A]

Oh, there we go. Thank you. Thank you. Cuz I knew you wouldn't answer it correctly. Thank you. How often does he actually use it?

[C]

I would say once. If to actually drive once every two to three months. He might take it out once a month to make sure it's driving.

[A]

You will rent a U haul if you need to for 50 bucks.

[B]

It's just the sentimental value.

[A]

I don't give a shit about no sentiment and no value. The value to it can go towards your debt. What's the sentimental value?

[B]

So whenever I was a little kid, my dad died when I was 7 and he had the same pickup truck. So I bought this pickup truck.

[A]

Is it the pickup truck?

[B]

It's not the same one, but I've had this one for 10 years. And that's what I moved back to Indiana with. And I've traveled the country but many a times with this. So that's what I lived in when we broke up.

[A]

Dude, I practically burned the car I drove the country with when I moved down here. Cuz it's a piece of metal. Listen, I would get the sentimental value a little bit more if it was literally what someone else owned. Maybe I'm coming across like a. Maybe I just have no empathy in this situation. Just pay off your debt, dude. It's not the car that someone else owned. You drove the country. It's a piece of metal. Get another one when you're in the position to get it. And it has the same sentimental value as this one because this one didn't belong to anyone else anyway. That has sentimental value.

[B]

Okay, I hear you.

[A]

Okay. And the motorcycle.

[B]

Yeah, so the motorcycle. That was. Whenever we left L. A, everybody got.

[A]

You're in L. A. Okay. Yeah.

[B]

That's where I started comedy. And we went back to Indiana, where we're from and everybody got.

[A]

You sound like that from Indiana.

[B]

Well, I. Then I grew up in Florida, so I. I sound like every. Like I'm from all over the place.

[A]

Like bayou Florida?

[B]

No, like surfing Florida. Like Cocoa Beach.

[A]

That's not a surfing accent.

[B]

No, it's. This is east coast mixed with hillbilly Indiana.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. So. So it meshes in there.

[A]

So wrangle some gators.

[B]

Yeah, well that, that's the Indiana. And then. Yeah, but so I love the southern state.

[A]

Indiana. Yeah.

[B]

No, we're just stupid in Indiana.

[A]

There's.

[C]

Thanks.

[B]

Well, he's. You're from Michigan.

[A]

Yeah. I will be honest. I don't think anyone looked up to Indiana. I'll be honest.

[B]

What do you mean? No one looked up to Indiana?

[A]

Yeah. In the Midwest.

[B]

Yeah, a little bit.

[A]

You guys aren't in the top 10 population states.

[B]

Larry Bird.

[A]

Like Illinois, Michigan and Ohio is. Don't really produce much economic value for the Midwest megalopolis. Indianapolis is the major city there. It doesn't really add into the overall United States metropolitan areas of a major contributor.

[B]

We've got racing, we've got sports.

[A]

Is exciting. Yeah. People left turns there.

[B]

Yeah. We've got corn. Oh, I think that's all amphetamine.

[A]

That is true.

[B]

They sell a lot.

[A]

They're big contributors to the GDP on that one.

[B]

Yeah. So I think we do have a couple things that we export.

[A]

No, I'm just. I'm just hating for no reason. I don't, I don't Personally care. One of my producers went to school in Indiana, basically on the border of Michigan, so.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah, but still Indiana, technically in Indiana. I drive through Indiana to get to a better state.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Sometimes when I want to go to Chicago.

[B]

Yeah, Chicago's okay.

[A]

Yeah, you gotta drive past world renowned. Everyone's favorite city in the country. Gary.

[B]

Yeah, Gary's. It's cleaning up. Gary's cleaning up. We're not murder capital of the world anymore. Yeah.

[A]

What is that? St. Louis? Okay. I think it is.

[B]

Okay. Yeah. So back to the motorcycle. So whenever we went back, everybody got Covid money. And, you know, most people went and bought, like, flat screens and stuff like that, so great use of taxpayer money.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I bought. I bought a motorcycle instead.

[A]

Another great use of taxpayer money. How is it. How much is it worth?

[B]

I bought it for 12,000. I had 500, so I got a loan for 11. 5.

[A]

Wait, is the loan gone?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

What's it worth?

[B]

I believe it's somewhere in the ballpark of 10,000.

[A]

That's awesome. Sell it.

[B]

Yeah. So it's in perfect condition.

[A]

Great. Sell it.

[B]

I write it.

[A]

Good. Sell it.

[B]

I feel like that would be more than the debt, right? How much debt do we have?

[A]

No.

[C]

Well, we still have a house and another car.

[A]

Regardless of the house. I mean, the Mercedes alone is worth 14,000. Her student loans are 11,000. Combine both the credit cards together and it's basically 7,000. So solid. You'll get your little fun little motorcycle when you're in the position to afford it. You're not.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Easy as that. Be a man. First time.

[B]

But then how am I going to be a man with no motorcycle to ride?

[A]

I think in Texas it's more of like a Dodge Ram type of man.

[B]

You told me to sell my Dodge Ram, which.

[A]

Yeah. You would lose your manhood. Yeah. Buds.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Now I feel like I'm just losing it all.

[A]

Yep. And then you'll get it back eventually.

[B]

I have pond stuff.

[A]

Okay, cool. Sell the cars. Yeah.

[B]

Okay. Okay.

[A]

Oh, we gotta get you more money.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, I can get people tech certifications through course crews, which I love. It just. It doesn't make sense for you because you're just. I don't think you. Do you want to work in tech? I don't think so. It's a tech town.

[B]

Yeah. I don't even know. I can barely check an email.

[A]

Okay. It's great for most people, but I guess not for you. Okay. Minimum debt payments, not including the mortgage. Oh, also, don't get that other Debt for the. The new car. Well, the, the goal is. I don't give a. I don't give a. Been talking about goals all day. Yeah, but this one's a stupid one. I already know.

[B]

No, this is a good goal because. So the car that I'm looking at is only $7,500. So the goal is if we can get paid down somewhere close to that, then we just.

[A]

What? Pay what down somewhere close to that?

[B]

Down to. If we can get $7,500 paid down.

[A]

Pay down on your debt.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

How?

[B]

It might be a minute.

[A]

So, yeah, by your math, that's three and a half years.

[B]

But. So if I can do that and then I can find three and a half years. Yeah. So then my. I can go out and I'm okay with that.

[A]

You're debt taking that long, even though your debts not that crazy.

[B]

Well, no, I want it to get better, but I'm saying our kids in the picture.

[C]

Not right now.

[A]

Ever.

[C]

Eventually, maybe.

[A]

Okay. You wouldn't want to bring them into this. And you're considering willing to pay off a thousand dollars every year for three and a half years to take away seven and a half thousand so you can get another on a motorcycle car. Yeah, another car. Another car that's gonna do nothing.

[B]

But with classic cars, to be fair, the value does go up every year, if you like.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Yeah. And that's. That's the goal.

[A]

Yeah. How'd that other one go for?

[B]

We're working on it.

[A]

For three years?

[B]

Well, yeah, these things general, a lot of people, they invest 10, 15 years into them.

[A]

Okay, okay, okay. So you get it for 7,500, right.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Tell me what that's worth in three years from then.

[B]

Honestly, if things keep going about three years ago, I was looking.

[A]

No, no, no, no. Three years ago, that's a completely different car market. Not even close. That's a car market that no one's ever seen and no one will ever see again.

[B]

Of course. But we don't know what three years from now is going to look like.

[A]

You think there's going to be a major global pandemic and we didn't learn anything from the last one? No, it's not going to be the same repeat over and over.

[B]

But the trajectory since that, obviously there was a big spike, but the trajectory is staying the same.

[A]

Okay, fine.

[B]

Percentage increase each year so that I have no idea. All I know is just the number.

[A]

What would it go to from 7,500? So five years, over the course of five years, what would it be worth in five years?

[B]

I say it would probably be worth 15,000.

[A]

No, it doesn't.

[B]

Double in putting work into it? Absolutely.

[A]

Oh well. How much do you spend? How much do you put into it?

[B]

Maybe another thousand or two.

[A]

Attention all business owners. If you're in a business for yourself, whether on a small or large scale, you need to be keeping on top of your business finances just as much as your personal finances. The first step to that is separating your personal and business spending. If you are putting all of your personal and business expenses on the same card, not only are you making your life so much harder than it needs to be, but you're also leaving free money on the table. If this sounds like you, Bill, spend and expense is going to change the game for you. With this corporate credit card and expense management platform, you'll be able to issue unlimited physical and digital credit cards to each of your employees and team members with customized spending limits and categories that you can easily control. Even as a one person business, you can have separate cards for each category of spending to budget your business expenses. All purchases are automatically categorized in real time and you get alerts to any out of the ordinary spending. With virtual cards, you can sign up for as many free trials as you want and not have to worry about forgetting to cancel them because you can set cards to as low as a $0.01 limit. Plus, every purchase with Bill's corporate cards earns up to 7% cash back, turning everyday business spending into free money. It's time to take control of your company's spending. Click the link in the description below to get started with Bill spend and expense today. So you think you're getting an average of like.

[B]

The classic car market is just totally different than than any other car market.

[A]

I mean I think it's dumb as you're gonna do what you're gonna do. Feels a little pointless. $1,523.90 for rental, mortgage, utilities, gas, water, electric utilities.

[C]

It's all electric and probably it varies between summer and winter. But with electric, summer probably 150 is what we've been paying.

[A]

Internet 80 gas between you two driving gas?

[B]

Oh, I do.

[C]

$200 a month probably.

[B]

Probably somewhere in that ballpark.

[A]

Really? That cheap?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

From Colleen.

[B]

She works from home.

[A]

But you drive down to Austin a lot.

[C]

Yeah, once a week maybe.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And it's only 200. Yeah.

[B]

It's really not that bad.

[A]

Car insurances for both. Well, for across all these cars.

[C]

280.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Somewhere in that ballpark it's not the worst for all that 100 bucks. 150 bucks. TP fund. Anything else you guys need to survive? 150 bucks. It's makeup, it's toothpaste, it's, you know, just anything you need to survive. I'm not putting anything into the budget for the stupid cars. Necessary food. You guys should be able to do 500amonth. Meal prep. Meal prep. Meal prep. Meal prep. What's your phone bill?

[B]

Yeah, our phones are paid off.

[A]

Okay, Switch the helium. It's 20 bucks a month for each. Will you guys do that?

[B]

I don't even know what that is.

[A]

It's a. It's just another. It's a phone carrier service that uses the other towers. Okay, so it'd be 20 bucks each, 40 bucks a month total.

[B]

Yeah, I would be willing to look into it.

[A]

40 bucks a month for that then. Good. Saves you money there. Okay. Anything else you guys need to survive? Medical. Anything there?

[C]

I am paying 25amonth on a medical bill, but it's only 25.

[A]

What's the balance of that?

[C]

3,000.

[A]

So it's another debt. Okay, Anything else? Medical, monthly basis, gym, anything?

[B]

No, we don't have a gym membership. Then we pay.

[C]

Subscription like Hulu and.

[A]

Nope. No, you don't. You absolutely do not. That is not included in your minimum to survive budget. Not even close. Okay, what you guys need to survive is $3,613.90 on a monthly basis. What came in was. It was a good month for comedy, it looks like.

[C]

Yeah, it was. We had a.

[A]

But that's not normal. No. Okay, so what likely normally comes in. I'm. I'm seeing probably guessing about 4,500 total across the board.

[C]

I'd say that's probably about right. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

If you sold your motorcycle, if you sold, let's say a beater for a thousand five hundred and then you drove the two. Two other cars. Okay. And let's keep your little passion project in the garage that you can work on, but we're not getting the new one. New passion project. But we're not also putting money into the passion project for now until we're out of debt. Then you can do it until you have a fully funded emergency fund. And so you start investing, man, the fact that you're not even investing, like, if you get out of this debt, maybe I'll fund your. Like, I use this investing platform called Moomoo. I like it. I would fund your, like, starting account as just a reward for getting out of this. But I mean, you have to actually make sacrifices so, okay, let's say 10,000 for the motorcycle and 1500 for the other one. Cool. Let's just use that and let's with that, wipe out almost all the Mercedes. Let's say 3000 hours is left on the Mercedes after that because. Well, actually no, let's not do it that way. That's stupid. Destroy both credit card debts and the medical. Okay, now we have the Mercedes. Mercedes with the extra $600 you got. Sorry, 900 you guys have left on a monthly basis, which is actually pretty darn good. And it's the reason why I'm upset that you're willing to just. Okay, actually we're setting 3,000 hours aside from the sale of the car for an emergency fund because you guys don't have savings. Throw that in, the savings you do have and then you have like a one month emergency fund. Then we have the medical debt is now back on the table again. Okay. Okay. But we're still going for the Mercedes with your extra 900amonth. Thousand dollars a month now because we paid off the two credit cards, takes a year and two months. Not bad. Mercedes. 7% debt is gone. Student loans, none of them are really high interest on either of them. I'd minimum payment them all until they're all paid off.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Now the student loans or the medical debt, you're able to pay that off in about two and a half months and then get a fully funded emergency fund, which at that point without the minimum monthly debt payments is going to be 18,000. You already have 3,000 in there. You have like an extra 1,400 left on a monthly basis at that point takes 10 months. You have a fully funded emergency fund. I say this takes, yeah, two years and a quarter. Two years and a quarter, guys, and you're debt free and you have a fully funded emergency fund, except for your student loans. But that's okay. At that point you just start throwing 20% to retirement across the household in general. And that actually, I think you guys will actually end up somewhere really healthy and happy and good. And of course we're not paying off the mortgage either. It's just right until that's paid off. Yep. Guys, I think you're actually in a. I think you actually have a way out of this. You gotta sell those things. I promise, dude, in five years you can get them again. You can get nicer versions. Okay. And then we're catching up on retirement. We're starting that, getting a fully funded emergency fund. But that, that's where I would go. Okay, you're spending in a budget total that went out was 7376. I mean you're overspending so zero there debt. It's not even close to the worst. There's no it's a three. It's a three. Certainly not good don't get me wrong. So that's why it's still low but it's a three. Emergency fund barely started. So one retirement you have a little but I don't know what it is so I can't do anything but one Real estate low cost. FHA was a little rough so we have you know, we're paying mortgage insurance but our equity position in the house is okay with the growth that we've had. Mortgage rates fantastic. You don't like the area gonna give it a six. It's gonna be a hammer. Financial Score two and a half out of ten. Make sure to check out all the resources linked in the description below as they are what I use or would use in specific situations, including the best budgeting educational program in the history of the Internet. Now stick around for the Post show today on the Financial Audit Post Show.

[B]

This is a real cigar. So this is a premium long filler.

[A]

You know, this probably isn't good for us.

[B]

Oh God.

[A]

It kind of tastes like Love the taste of cancer in the early to watch the Financial Audit Post show, click the join button below.