My Biggest Crashout Yet | Financial Audit

Summary

Financial Audit Podcast – “My Biggest Crashout Yet | Financial Audit”

Date: November 19, 2025
Host: Caleb Hammer
Guest: Jason, 29, Houston, Texas

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Episode Overview

This episode of Financial Audit features Jason, a 29-year-old data freight analyst (formerly employed) from Houston, Texas. Jason’s financial situation is, in Caleb’s words, “one of the worst” he’s encountered on the show—a tangle of debts, family bailouts, self-indulgent spending, and almost complete financial denial. Caleb’s signature mix of sarcasm, candor, and frustration is on full display as he confronts Jason’s attitudes and choices, which include blowing thousands on trips, concerts, mystic readings, and excessive pet ownership while unemployed and reliant on family handouts.

Tone: The episode is combative, honest, exasperated, and darkly humorous. Caleb does not hold back in his assessments, and Jason leans into his “bad bitch, bougie lifestyle” persona, often responding with nonchalance or deflection.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

Jason’s Background & Financial Snapshot

• Former Job: Data freight analyst, $21/hr, 40 hrs/week
  • “$31,000 net a year. I mean I stay at home, I live with my parents…” [02:58]
• Living Situation:
  • Has moved between parents’ house, cousin’s house, friend’s place, always with others.
  • “Drama” and “bougie lifestyle” blamed for falling outs.
  • "Why does drama follow everywhere you live? ... 'Cause I like a certain lifestyle." [04:09]
• Debt Load:
  • Claims “$26,000,” but Caleb reveals it’s actually $60,710.81.
  • Net worth is negative nearly $61,000, checking/savings combined: $15.64. [13:39–14:30]

Personal Responsibility & Family Dynamics

• Reliance on Family:
  • Regularly borrows from 73-year-old grandmother ($23,000 owed!) and parents ($2,000 owed).
  • “You are one of the worst people that has sat in that seat in a long time. ...You’re disgusting, manipulating your grandma for money to pay your bills, and you don't pay your bills. And then you go to Chicago...” [43:13]
  • “If I ask her, she’ll say yes. I’m just the fun one out of all the grandchildren.” [11:02]
• Sense of Entitlement:
  • Jason repeatedly says he “has to live life,” justifies spending as self-care or simply wanting it.
  • “You gotta live long... That’s what I have my mystic for.” [64:13–64:22]

Financial Behaviors and Self-Image

• Spending on Non-Necessities:
  • Mystic readings: $100/week ($400+/month; 15%+ of pre-layoff income)
  • Concerts/travel: Multiple trips while unemployed – Lady Gaga in Chicago, Dom Dolla in Dallas upcoming, planned Vegas show.
  • “Who are you to think you get to— Is that funny? I mean, I had to go see Lady Gaga.” [37:14]
• Animals:
  • Excessive pet ownership (dogs, cats) despite inability to care for them. Family ends up “inheriting” his animals.
  • “Why the f*** did you have these dogs? ...It is so selfish and disgusting of you.” [30:41]
• Retail Therapy & Hobbies:
  • Over $1,000 spent on plant seeds; “plant gay” subculture; pays for Instagram trackers, Audible, and multiple streaming subs while unemployment.
  • “You can’t afford to be a plant gay right now though. You should be spending all your plant gay time on gay applying to jobs.” [55:33]

Mentality Toward Debt, Credit, and Accountability

• Defaulting on Payments:
  • Multiple credit cards maxed out and overdue (Capital One, Venture One, Quicksilver, etc.).
  • Uses buy-now-pay-later products (Affirm, Klarna, etc), often missing payments or using family accounts and putting their credit at risk.
  • “Every credit card we’ve looked at so far is above the limit. It’s horrible.” [74:45]
• Denial and Deflection:
  • Rarely knows the amounts, minimizes, or jokes about not tracking.
  • “It’ll eventually get paid one day.” [92:14]
  • Uses superficial justification: “I’m living my life at the expense of others.” [58:14]

Employment and Job Search

• Laid Off/Fired:
  • Fired for being chronically late, blames “lifestyle,” considers possible discrimination but concedes lateness was the official reason.
  • “So probably not. No one seems to like you anywhere. …That ends up being your problem.” [17:08]
• Job Search Effort:
  • Minimal curation of resume, sporadic applications to accounting assistant and bartending positions.
  • Took (unpaid) bartending class, not yet certified, lists on resume but lacks relevant experience.

Magical Thinking & Superstition

• Reliance on Mystic:
  • Believes mystic’s tarot/astrology readings will make him debt free by 2026.
  • “My goal is to be debt free by 2026. …by what my mystic told me when we had one of our sessions.” [32:13–32:29]
• Refusal to Develop Game Plan:
  • Offers no actionable strategy, relies on what “cards say” or vague ideas like OnlyFans, selling plants (both extremely low or no income).
  • “The card said that? No, you know what actions you actually have to put in? It’s you building a budget, following it, making sacrifices, and going out and getting a killing. Oh, dude, it’s not a card. It’s your actions.” [32:29]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Caleb’s Outrage and Candor:

• “You are one of the worst people that has sat in that seat in a long time. ...You are disgusting, manipulating your grandma for money to pay your bills and you don't pay your bills. And then you go to Chicago, live my life.” [43:13]
• “You’re a piece of sh**. ...You’re a bad person. ...I need you to know you are a bad person.” [39:00]
• “You’re a failure.” [61:15]
• “I feel my blood pressure rising more than I have felt in any episode in a very long time. I am enraged at you.” [01:20, 60:56]

Jason’s Indifference and Rationalization:

• “I’m a bad bitch, and I like a bougie lifestyle.” [01:17, 07:48]
• “I mean, I ask grandma for some money... I’ll tell her, like, grandma—” [10:53]
• “If I want to do it, I have to do it. There’s a concert I want to go to, I have to go to it.” [58:14]
• “That’s okay. ...I’m living my life at the expense of others. Yes.” [58:14]
• “It’ll get paid eventually. Some point. Someday.” [72:44]
• “Beforehand, when I had my apartment before all this… I would get dogs. ...I just gave them to my mom.” [31:07]

Humor & Sarcasm:

• Caleb: “What bougie lifestyle do you live on $31,000 a year?” [07:53]
• Jason: “I can cook, I just... I’d rather not.” [75:58]
• Caleb: “You’re a vibe that is a plague to anyone around you. ...You and your other person that you pay—your vibe queen, whatever you call her, Mystic Down.” [57:44]
• Caleb (on OnlyFans): “You are the Hispanic, puffier cheek version of me and gay look. ...You’re not that guy.” [33:15]
• Jason: “I mean, I already have it.” (on OnlyFans) [34:30]
• Caleb: “You can’t afford to be a plant gay right now though.” [55:33]

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Important Timestamps & Segments

• 01:47–03:01: Jason’s intro – background, job, return to parents’ home.
• 07:48–09:15: “Bad bitch, bougie lifestyle” and falling out with family/friends.
• 11:02–14:15: Borrowing from grandma; Caleb exposes Jason’s negative net worth.
• 15:09–17:14: Admit being fired for lateness; deflection toward discrimination.
• 19:36–20:47: Attempts to attribute firing to orientation rather than documented policy.
• 23:58–24:52: Unsuccessful job search; lack of resume tailoring; brief bartending school tangent.
• 26:11–27:04: Continued high spending after unemployment.
• 30:41–31:58: Neglect and pushing animals onto mother.
• 32:13–33:06: “Debt-free by 2026” per mystic’s reading.
• 33:41–36:12: OnlyFans “strategy”; $20 total earnings.
• 37:14–39:00: Blowing money on concerts, Lady Gaga in Chicago.
• 43:13–44:30: Caleb’s moral judgment peak.
• 54:18–55:48: Spending on plant/gay hobbies, streaming, subscriptions while jobless.
• 58:14: “I’m living my life at the expense of others. Yes.”
• 61:15: “You are a failure.” (Blood pressure segment)
• 65:58–66:46: Extreme exasperation, joking about “special camp” for people like Jason.
• 68:09–70:12: Reckless use of credit cards for retail spending (H&M, Gymshark).
• 81:08–82:39: Personal loan for lipo360 surgery in Mexico now in collections; woke up mid-surgery.
• 84:39–85:22: Owes grandmother $23,000.
• 87:12–87:19: Owes $111 to a friend for gas—unpaid.
• 88:02–89:00: Multiple car repossessions recounted with little remorse.
• 90:43–91:19: Endless fast food and gas station spending with negative balances.

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Conclusion – Caleb’s Final Assessment

Caleb:

"You're a degenerate and I wish for the worst of you. Not really. Kind of, maybe a little." [91:59]

This was, by Caleb’s account, one of the most frustrating episodes of Financial Audit. Jason’s self-indulgent spending at the expense of family, shocking debt, and lack of self-awareness were presented both as a cautionary tale and, at times, farce. The “spiritual journey” via mystic, persistent denial, and cycle of borrowing underpin a situation Caleb deems near-hopeless unless Jason adopts radical accountability and discipline. Yet, Jason’s acceptance of being “the bad person”—without remorse—leaves both host and audience exasperated.

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Summary Table (Quick Facts)

| Category | Value/Description | |--------------------|------------------------------------------------------| | Age | 29 | | Location | Houston, Texas | | Previous Job | Data Freight Analyst ($21/hr, 40 hrs/wk) | | Net Income | ~$31,000/year (while employed) | | Current Income | $0 (unemployed, some unemployment) | | Total Debt | $60,710.81 | | Checking/Savings | $15.64 | | Owed to Grandma | $23,000 | | Owed to Dad | $2,000 | | Misc. Debts | Credit cards, buy-now-pay-later, loans, repos, etc. | | Spending (Mystic) | $400/month | | Admission | “I’m living my life at the expense of others.” | | Key Strategy | Magical thinking (tarot readings, OnlyFans, plants) |

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Listen to this if:
You want a jaw-dropping, infuriating, and brutally honest picture of financial self-destruction—warts, laugh tracks, and all. Perfect for those who learn best from others’ (spectacular) mistakes.

Transcript

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[A]

I was told to come my mystic to come my personal guidance.

[B]

What the is a mystic?

[A]

You know, they read the cards. They read the stars guide.

[B]

You stars said come to Austin for financial audit. How are you affording that?

[A]

You know, I asked grandma for some money.

[B]

You're taking this from a 73 year old woman?

[A]

I mean she has money. I'm a bad bitch and I like a bougie lifestyle.

[B]

I feel my blood pressure rising more than I have felt in any episode in a very long time. I am enraged at you.

[A]

You should get it checked out then.

[B]

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[A]

My name is Jason. I'm from Houston, Texas. 29 and this is Financial Audit.

[B]

Thanks for coming over to Austin. What do you do in Houston for a living?

[A]

I am a data freight analyst.

[B]

Data freight, what's that?

[A]

Right. Like I basically we get the invoices and we're entering the information into our system. I work for. It was a gas freight. Yeah, a gas company. Yeah.

[B]

Good. Okay, cool. How many hours a week are you working? Is this salary? Is this hourly?

[A]

Hourly and 40 hours a week.

[B]

What's your hourly pay?

[A]

21.

[B]

What? Mom? Houston.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

21 is going to search a little less there compared to many other places. Fourth largest city in the country will probably be number three before we know it. But also, you know, compared to many other major cities, it's not like the hyper most expensive, depending on the neighborhood. What is your account per paycheck?

[A]

About 13. 13 every two weeks.

[B]

Every two weeks?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

13. How you doing in Houston? 12. 13. Is it 12 or 13?

[A]

I say 13 just in case. Yeah.

[B]

Okay. And how you. 2,600. That's not like living in luxury by any means. We're talking 31,000 net a year.

[A]

I mean I stay at home, I live with my parents, so.

[B]

You do?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

For how long have you been living with your parents? It's not that you can't at 29. Many cultures do, but in our culture it is a little more odd and might suggest something of. I don't want to say failure or lazy necessarily because they can be good support systems if we ever have to move back as we're figuring things out. But it does suggest something in our culture, potentially.

[A]

I mean it. Yeah. I don't know. I'm so sorry.

[B]

Well, it's okay. What? What are you thinking?

[A]

I mean. Yeah, I moved back last summer, so.

[B]

I moved back. Yeah.

[A]

Okay. So previously I was living at my cousin's house. It didn't work out there, so I ended up going to my friend's house. Have you ever lived or apartment?

[B]

Huh? Have you ever lived. Not with moving into a friend or cousin or parents.

[A]

No, it's always been with somebody else.

[B]

Well, you don't make much, I guess for the area. Is that why does drama follow everywhere you live since you're bouncing around places?

[A]

I mean sometimes, you know, sometimes, I.

[B]

Don'T know, it seems like you're bouncing.

[A]

I mean, you know, I like a certain lifestyle. Some people don't like it that I be spending money.

[B]

Lifestyle? Well, they don't like that you're spending money. The drama is you spending money? I don't think so. I mean, you sure that's the lifestyle they disagree with?

[A]

I mean that could be. That's probably it.

[B]

Okay. Cause you're Hispanic, right?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. White, Hispanic. They exist. We've seen them. There's one behind you. His name's Randon. But your real name is quite Hispanic. Yes. Or else I honestly would have thought you just white boy.

[A]

Oh no, no, I'm Hispanic.

[B]

But Hispanics. Hispanics and the gays.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Not always the biggest fans. Typically deeply religious. I mean, you do have a cross on your ear.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Is that the gay ear?

[A]

No. Which one is it? The right ear, I think.

[B]

I don't know, we don't do sides of gays well. We just go full gay, period.

[A]

That's it.

[B]

Okay. Yeah. And. But yeah, you have a cross. And so. But they haven't kicked you out due to the gayness?

[A]

No.

[B]

I mean, no. So it's about you spending money. Why do they care if you're spending money? Unless you're not paying your rent. You're not paying your rent.

[A]

I mean, I'll pay the rent, but.

[B]

Like, then why would they kick you out for spending your $31,000 a year?

[A]

They want extra money.

[B]

Was the extra money agreed on?

[A]

No, they just asked for them.

[B]

Why do they deserve extra money for you to live there if it wasn't agreed?

[A]

They see that I like to go out. I like to spend money. I guess because they can. Yeah, I guess.

[B]

So now tell me how these conversations went. Something's going on that seems weird. It would be weird that multiple groups of people would do that same exact thing. Like, if one person did it one off, I could be like, okay, I could see that they're a little weird. You know, let him do what he wants with his money. If he wants to be a failure, let him be a failure. You know? That's the conversation.

[A]

Jealousy. Honestly.

[B]

Jealousy of therapist 31,000 hours a year.

[A]

I mean, I guess because, like, they have, like, they have their own house, they're paying their own bills. They can't really spend money.

[B]

You should be jealous of them.

[A]

No, not really. I don't want a house.

[B]

So you think everyone is petty jealous?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Where I have a note that when you're with your cousin, you said to Colton that it was too much drama with her and her man.

[A]

I mean, that also. Yeah, I guess he didn't like the way that I spent my money. I mean. What?

[B]

That doesn't make any sense. How does it always come back to that? What do you mean? Why? Why? Why does her. Your cousin's man's opinion on you spending your money?

[A]

He doesn't work.

[B]

Him living there. Huh?

[A]

He doesn't work. He don't make his own money. So I guess him seeing me spend.

[B]

My money so he kicks you out?

[A]

Well, technically her, but yeah. What?

[B]

That doesn't make any sense. Can you explain how that makes sense and how that works?

[A]

I don't know. She just kind of does what he says. I don't know. She's a bread maker.

[B]

She's a what?

[A]

She's the bread maker. The breadwinner.

[B]

Breadwinner.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I'm confused how this worked out. I feel Like, I am not getting the full story here, buddy. Why you ended up back home with the parents at 29, kicked out from the cousins because the unemployed one didn't like how you were spending your money. I'm confused how that makes sense. They would have to have not liked something else to kick you out.

[A]

No.

[B]

I mean, fine, call him. Oh, I will he back this up.

[A]

No, their numbers are blocked. Both of their numbers.

[B]

You blocked your cousin?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I never blocked a family member. I'll be honest.

[A]

Oh, I got plenty we can go through.

[B]

I'm sure you do. And that's why it is suggesting to me it is likely not just because of how you spent your money. Unless you are paying for prostitutes come over every day or getting CO all over the table.

[A]

No.

[B]

Okay, then that doesn't really make any sense.

[A]

I don't know. I just. I'm a bad bitch, and I like a bougie lifestyle, and I guess they can't have it.

[B]

What bougie lifestyle do you live on? 31,000 hours a year. I mean, what were you paying them in rent?

[A]

Bam. I think it was like 600amonth. Yeah, I think so.

[B]

What was this bougie lifestyle and why? What? Bad and only bad? Pretty. No. Or you're a bad roommate?

[A]

No, no, no. I just like to go out, buy food.

[B]

Yeah, but I don't understand how that would impact them.

[A]

I mean, it's because they can't do it.

[B]

This does not make any sense. I'm confused. I'm confused. I feel like I am not getting an honest representation of the events that led you back home to your parents. No.

[A]

Yeah, that's it. I mean, after getting kicked out from there, I ended up going to my friend's house. I lived there probably like, maybe like four. Four months. Four or five months. And I guess there.

[B]

Why aren't you there?

[A]

It was. Well, it was just a small space and, like, we had.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

If you're living dogs, if you're living.

[B]

With someone else, that's being very nice and letting you crash there. What's wrong with that?

[A]

I don't know. I guess we were just clashing.

[B]

Sounds like you clashed with everyone. Why were you clashing?

[A]

Um, well.

[B]

Are you a petty, sassy gay?

[A]

I mean.

[B]

Cause we love that. If you want to be a sassy gay. I don't know if we love a petty, sassy gay.

[A]

I mean, I can be whatever.

[B]

I feel like you're a petty, sassy gay.

[A]

Mm. Yeah. I can be you.

[B]

I'm a petty straight. Colton's A sassy gay. We love them. But then you get petty. Sassy gay.

[A]

It's the best.

[B]

No, it's a super villain that can't maintain housing because no one would want to be around them.

[A]

I mean, I'm a good vibe.

[B]

Why are you here?

[A]

To get some help, I guess. Financially. Yeah.

[B]

What made you decide to come on the show?

[A]

I was told to come. My mistake. My personal guidance. She told me that she would see.

[B]

Me on this person. A mystic is a person. Yes, the is a mystic, a guidance.

[A]

Like, how do you not know what a mystic?

[B]

Only one that will allow you to be in their life for more than five months because you pay them. No, you don't pay your mystic.

[A]

I mean, yeah, I do. Used to be monthly. Now we see each other weekly.

[B]

Oh, you ramped up the mystic.

[A]

Well, yeah.

[B]

I mean, what do you have across? Are you. I guess I'm confused on your religion.

[A]

I mean, I can have a cross and still explore, have fun.

[B]

Is mystic. I mean, if your mystic invites you to be here, maybe mystic is correct.

[A]

I mean, you know, they read the cards, they read the stars.

[B]

They guide you. Star said come to Austin for financial audits.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, my brother also told me, but she was the main one.

[B]

How much is she?

[A]

How much is she?

[B]

Yeah. You're mystic.

[A]

Oh, weekly. Yes. About a hundred each session.

[B]

How are you affording that?

[A]

Mm, kinda. You know, I asked grandma for some money. Ask her. I'll tell her, like, grandma?

[B]

Yeah, but you moved in with mom and dad and you're asking grandma for money.

[A]

I'll ask her for, you know, some money for, like. Cause I have a dog. Like I said, I have a dog and two cats.

[B]

And you probably shouldn't.

[A]

I have a Frenchie, actually.

[B]

You probably shouldn't.

[A]

Well, he's my best friend and you.

[B]

Probably shouldn't have him.

[A]

But yeah, I'll ask her for money. Be like, I need dog food or cat food.

[B]

Oh, this is why you shouldn't have them. That's disgusting. And then I will go, come on, that's gross.

[A]

To my once a week session with my mystic.

[B]

26 hits your account on a monthly basis. You spend $400 a month on your mystic. 15. Over 15% of your income goes to that bull bullshit. And you can't even afford to take care of your own animals. And you move back in with your parents at 29. I mean, what the are you doing?

[A]

They're being fed.

[B]

Be your grandmother.

[A]

I mean, I'm her favorite, right?

[B]

I call my grandma Abuela.

[A]

I'm her favorite. So if I ask her, she'll say yes.

[B]

She's your favorite for Possibly. Why?

[A]

I'm just the fun one out of all the grandchildren.

[B]

But everyone kicks you out after you live with them and then you block them. Have you blocked your friend?

[A]

No, I go see her once a week for our weekly sessions.

[B]

That's your mystic?

[A]

Oh yeah. That's my mystic. Yeah.

[B]

The one you moved in with?

[A]

Yes. Yeah. What the f. That's my mystic.

[B]

What the. Buddy, this is a mess.

[A]

That's my best friend.

[B]

You moved in with that person and now you're still giving them. Does she know you're her best friend? Because you pay her. You literally pay her to hang out.

[A]

Yeah, she does.

[B]

You pay her to hang?

[A]

Whenever I need to.

[B]

And why would she consider you a client?

[A]

Yeah. Plus her best friend.

[B]

No.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

You said you go see her once a week. If you were best friends, you'd be hanging out outside of that.

[A]

I mean we call each other but when we do our sessions I'm sure.

[B]

She charges for it.

[A]

Yeah. I mean does she? Uh huh. No, not the other calls. But during our sessions. Yes. Like if I have questions about a certain thing or I need, you know, some guidance, then you know, I'll call her for a session.

[B]

So what's going on in here? Because we know you don't make a lot of money for the area. You move back in with parents after crashing out with everyone and your only friend is someone you pay. What is happening in here? What's going on? What are we talking about today? I'm glad your mystics fan of the show. Thank you Ms. Mystic here.

[A]

We're here today to talk about my debt.

[B]

Yeah, why you? Because how much that you have?

[A]

I think I don't quite remember.

[B]

Lifestyle you got. What did it result in?

[A]

I don't remember.

[B]

You don't remember?

[A]

I don't look at the bank account. I just.

[B]

No.

[A]

What?

[B]

How much do you think you have? You. Come on. Sorry.

[A]

Maybe like 26000 in debt.

[B]

Oh, oh, you're a. You're. Oh no. You're the version of a petty, sassy, gay. $60,710.81.

[A]

Yeah, that. It's a big amount.

[B]

You're poor, but you're poor. In what world? No, Gohan, tell me how you're not poor.

[A]

I mean, like I said, I'll just ask grandma for some money.

[B]

Would that not indicate poor?

[A]

No, because I still get money.

[B]

You don't have money.

[A]

I mean I have other people I talk to and if I ask them for money, they'll turn out to worth. I don't know.

[B]

You don't know your net worth?

[A]

No.

[B]

Okay, well your checking and Savings combined is $15.64.

[A]

Oh yeah.

[B]

So I would suggest your net worth is negative, almost $61,000. You are broke, you are poor, you have nothing. You have nothing. I mean, you get money from grandma indicating that you are a child, you move back in with mommy and daddy. Not necessarily a bad thing in most cultures, but in our culture suggests you are a child.

[A]

I mean I do make money after.

[B]

Getting kicked out from multiple people, including the one you pay to be your friend. Uh huh.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You get money 30,000 hours a year. And I'm not shaming you for that, but look how you're living with it. What you get more than that. Are you saying, Is there a side hustle?

[A]

Well, there's that. And then also about the job part. I actually got laid off, so I don't have a job. Maybe when I got the call from here, actually.

[B]

What is this little sound you make.

[A]

After I was, I mean you always go, I don't know. So I ended up you.

[B]

You know, you're a dick. We don't allow people to come on, they don't have a job. You get the call, then you get laid off afterwards and you don't let us know you're a prick. And I'll still do this because there's going to be people. Listen, it's a high laid off year actually, so more people relate to it than before.

[A]

I mean I applied for unemployment, so.

[B]

Well, I hopefully did, yeah. Why'd you get that? Sounds more like fired than laying off. Because you mentioned being late, but go ahead, what happened?

[A]

I mean.

[B]

Yeah, tell me what happened.

[A]

Basically that morning I had got a call from the producers. I was, I mean I was sitting outside at work, so I was on the camera at work, but I.

[B]

Are you saying we got you fired?

[A]

I mean, you decided to take the call? Well, I mean I had to. I wanted to be on the show.

[B]

Yeah, but you could have contacted. Hey, different time, please. Thank you.

[A]

No, I didn't want to miss the call anyway, so I ended up taking the call. I was late like maybe 10 minutes. So I guess they marked it off as a strike. So as soon as I walked in, they said texted. My boss had texted me, let's go into the meeting room to have a little chat. Went to the meeting room. She said that I had been continuously late.

[B]

Oh, so it wasn't the call, it Wasn't us. It was you. Been late consistently.

[A]

But it's 10 minutes. 10. 5 minutes that I've been late.

[B]

Uh huh.

[A]

Well, this was like the third strike for her. And. But I also think. I don't think they really liked me there, honestly.

[B]

So probably not. No one seems to like you anywhere. Have you realized that yet? I mean, picking up the trend, that's.

[A]

Their problem, not mine.

[B]

Actually, it ends up being your problem. I don't think they're affected anymore. They fired you. They got rid of the person they didn't like. Now you don't have money.

[A]

But I did my job late. But it was done.

[B]

That's obviously against their rules. No, you have to follow the rules of the employer.

[A]

I mean, I wasn't dealing with being late. Huh. There was other people being late too.

[B]

Cool. They're probably getting strikes. You tit. Or they use it as an excuse to fire you because you were miserable to be around. No, you don't know.

[A]

I think I'm a foreign person to be around.

[B]

Okay, but every single instance of everyone you've told me about tries to get away from you. And the only person that's sitting around is someone you pay. Oh, your mystic works there too? Oh my.

[A]

Oh yeah. She's the one that got me the job. We had a session. Wow.

[B]

They'll never accept her referral again.

[A]

I don't know. But anyways. Yeah, I had no job at the time either. I told her I was having these issues. I didn't know what to do. So we had a quick little session. She read my card. She saw. She said that she had saw me working with her. So I ended up applying and I got the job. But yeah, she got fired a couple months after.

[B]

For what?

[A]

For being late.

[B]

Also, you need to detach yourself from this person. You both are failures.

[A]

No, I mean, she guides me to. She guided me here.

[B]

Dude, she guided you to the job that you both got fired from?

[A]

But I mean, I still have the job though.

[B]

You don't today. Isn't that all that matters? What are you doing? So how long. When did you get that call? How long have you been laid off for?

[A]

What are we in October?

[B]

Okay. Colton told me you told him you think you got fired because you're gay.

[A]

Yeah, I. It goes back to my lifestyle. Like. I'm so sorry.

[B]

Okay, the lifestyle.

[A]

You talked about other women that were always jealous.

[B]

What? Women love gays.

[A]

Not them. Clearly not.

[B]

Clearly not.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Go on. They always have information than that. If this is a discriminatory lawsuit, that you're able to get money from. Please describe.

[A]

Well, I mean, I know they didn't like me because multiple occasions I caught them talking about me.

[B]

Well, no one likes you, but it's probably not because you're gay.

[A]

I mean, well, it could be I.

[B]

Don'T dislike you because you're gay. I dislike you because you're not able to reflect on anything that's happened in your life and realize a pattern.

[A]

I mean, everybody has different opinions. You might like me because I'm gay. They might. They didn't.

[B]

Are you able to suggest any type of proof or examples that would indicate they didn't like you cuz you're gay?

[A]

I, maybe I was the only gay guy working there.

[B]

Do you know that? I don't know.

[A]

I mean, I was. I knew that.

[B]

That's not proof. That's not proof.

[A]

I mean, they didn't like me to begin with. They didn't even like me before I started working there.

[B]

Tyler's the only black producer we have here and if I fire him for being a producer doesn't mean I fired him for being black. That's not how it works. Because you're the only gay person there. I mean, if I have to fire colton cause he's bad at his job. Well, we're surrounded by like 50 other gays at the company.

[A]

So I mean there was. I caught, I always caught them conversating. I mean, I went to the boss, the boss didn't like me there so she didn't do much. Then I went to hr. Nothing was done either and then eventually.

[B]

Let go because of the. Because they were talking about your back. Yeah, well, I don't know. They weren't the people firing. They were just your co workers. Right.

[A]

I mean, one of them was the team lead. So I mean, you very clearly got.

[B]

Your three strikes within a certain period of time for being late and that is very obviously the reason you got fired. How are you connecting this? Anything else? You know, you were late, you saw the strikes, you knew the policy.

[A]

I mean, they always talk and it's not the first time that when they don't like someone their goal is to get them fired. It's been proven multiple times.

[B]

Uh huh. Are you just throwing away the thing I just said where you knew the policy, you recognized that you were late and you got fired for it.

[A]

I mean, I told them I was going to be late so it's not like I wasn't letting them know. Besides that last time I didn't let them know.

[B]

What's the Goal. Now, how long are you staying at home?

[A]

I want to move out.

[B]

You want to move out?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Okay. How long have you been unemployed now?

[A]

August. September. One of those two. Beginning of September. Now I remember.

[B]

Uh huh. And what have you done to try to go get another job?

[A]

I mean, I've been applying to jobs, but that's it.

[B]

How many? Are you curating your resume specifically for each job? This isn't the best job market, I'll be honest. Luckily you're in a major city. That helps you a lot. That's where the jobs are. I mean, I guess Texas is a booming economy. I think it was the second fastest growing economy. Thanksgiving's great and all, but between flights, grocery bills and early Black Friday deals, your wallet might be less thankful this year. And that's why today's sponsor Kickoff deserves some appreciation. It's the number one credit building app in the App Store and it makes building credit simple even if you've messed up before. I used to think credit was for boomers with mortgages, but it turns out it's literally for everything. Kickoff helped me get my act together without overcomplicating it. Plans started just $5 a month, no credit checks, no hidden fees. And if you're under 600 users see an average credit bump of 84 points in the first year with on time payments. Set up autopay kickback and let your credit grow with every on time payment. It is that easy. Start building credit with Kickoff today and get your first month for as little as $1. That is 80% off the normal price. When you to getkickoff.com Caleb that is kickoff without the C. Get K-I K-O-F-F.com Caleb thanks again to Kickoff for sponsoring let's get back to the video. Wanna know a dirty little secret? And no, I'm not starting an Only you're not broke because you suck with money. You just can't see where it's going. If your bank account is empty at the end of every month, that is not bad luck. That is bad tracking. And it's exactly why I use dollar wise. It shows you exactly where your money's going every single month. Spending subscriptions and savings all in one simple dashboard. Everything you need and nothing you don't. And when you download Dollar Wise today, you'll get to try it for free. Plus three months for just 9.99 so you can finally take control and see what your money's been doing behind your back. Click below to get started. I mean I don't know being number one. But there's also like no economy there or North Dakota and there's like barely an economy there. So it's easy to grow it percent wise year over year. Either way, whatever good opportunities here.

[A]

I mean, I've applied. I've even applied to jobs. I just. I don't get them. Well, no, I mean I'm resume per.

[B]

Job or just you have to per job because it gets put through like an AI filtering thing and then maybe I'll get a job. A call from the recruiter. What types of jobs are we trying to get?

[A]

Well, I did go last year to school for an accounting assistant certificate.

[B]

Did you get it?

[A]

I did, but I mean, I've been applying for accounting assistant positions since then. I haven't got anything.

[B]

Everybody wants experiences aren't really investing in people right now. I mean, I'll take a look at your resume later in the episode or in the post show, but I'll get you an accounting certification through course careers. A lot of people have gotten that in the audience. This episode is brought to you by Indeed. Stop waiting around for the perfect candidate. Instead, use Indeed sponsored jobs to find.

[A]

The right people with the right skills fast.

[B]

It's a simple way to make sure.

[A]

Your listing is the first candidate. C. According to Indeed data, sponsored jobs.

[B]

Have four times more applicants than non sponsored jobs.

[A]

So go build your dream team today with Indeed.

[B]

Get a $75 sponsored job credit@ Indeed.com podcast.

[A]

Terms and conditions apply.

[B]

I answer on the show and it's helped them increase their revenue substantially, earn their income or get a better job. So hopefully that'll help. But this is a tough job market.

[A]

I also this is where you need every tool. Take classes in July for bartending as well. But no job either. I mean, I've been applying, but that's it. No jobs yet.

[B]

The is a bartending class.

[A]

Like you learn how to bartend, make the drinks.

[B]

Most people learn by getting the job. I don't know.

[A]

I wanted to learn first.

[B]

YouTube.

[A]

YouTube was boring. It didn't really teach stuff. Bull, bull, bull. That's why I took the classes instead. But I haven't finished paying off the classes yet either.

[B]

Of course not. How much did you spend on your bar attending classes?

[A]

It was $600 for the class. I think I still owe $300. But I did get my TB. T, A, B, C already though. Huh. I think that was like $15 to be able to handle alcohol. That's what it is.

[B]

Oh, right. Yeah. Okay.

[A]

The food handlers.

[B]

Okay, here's the thing, big guy. Here's the thing. This bougie lifestyle that you're obsessed with living, which is why you think people don't like you, by the way. That's not the reason, but either way is. Bougie lifestyle, in what way do you think you're able to still sustain it? When I have the month of September here, and if that is apparently the month that you are unemployed, your spending should not essentially be anything other than minimum necessities.

[A]

Well, that's why I came to you. Make a budget for me.

[B]

Yes, I can make a budget for you. If you follow me. Try to make a.

[A]

Teach me how to make more money.

[B]

You are stuck living in the booja lifestyle cycle. If we don't change that, you're. You can't. I can't get you out of booj. The desire for booze I can't get you out of. You would have to be managing heavily. Yeah. How well was spent last month in the month that you were unemployed? Please, come on. How was it? Oh, money's coming in from weird sources, but yeah. What was that?

[A]

I really don't know either.

[B]

Think. Try to put yourself into last month. Think about what you were doing.

[A]

How much you think was maybe like $600 and. Oh, wait, we just ended September. Yeah, maybe like a thousand.

[B]

Yeah. 3410. $15 and two cents broken. You don't know anything about your numbers at all.

[A]

No.

[B]

You don't know your day. You don't know your spending. I just believe that 2,600 that came in anymore, and now it's not.

[A]

Wait, why am I.

[B]

Okay, Colton's texting me that you can't get a bartending certificate or license.

[A]

I mean, why? I don't know.

[B]

Well, because you haven't paid for the full class.

[A]

Well, yeah, that's true. I mean, but I. I took the classes, so I did learn. And I also have my tabc, so, I mean, it kind of balances out.

[B]

Yeah. How many bartender jobs have you applied to and what's on your resume for the bartending jobs?

[A]

I have it at the bottom of my resume. The accounting assistant cert and the bartending license.

[B]

And what's your job experience showed for the bartending?

[A]

Nothing. Just the classes we're taking.

[B]

No jobs. No jobs are listed there.

[A]

No.

[B]

On your bartending. On the resume to apply for jobs.

[A]

No.

[B]

I mean, you're showing 29 years old, never worked a job in your life.

[A]

No, I mean, I have my jobs, but not for bartender.

[B]

What jobs?

[A]

Oh, I mean, the one that I had.

[B]

Yeah. So you know what's going to happen, right? Because unfortunately, bartending would be a big switch because you don't have that experience. I take the accounting thing off at the bott for the bartending jobs, and I would try to curate and slightly manipulate your resume a little to navigate towards the bartending because what they're gonna see is they're looking for. What they're gonna see is that they would hire you and you're gonna be there only for a couple months because you would leave to get the job you actually wanted. You have to curate to the job, make it look like you want to stay, like you want that job. You have to play the game.

[A]

Okay. Okay, I'll do it. I'll try. Mm.

[B]

Okay, big guy, what do you think your financial score is? 0 to 10, 0 being the worst, 10 being the best.

[A]

I give it like a five in between.

[B]

Explain.

[A]

I mean, I like to spend. Most of my bills are paid. If I remember, some of them will get paid. So I give it a five.

[B]

So that's middle of the road. Sometimes we pay our bills.

[A]

What are you, a Leo?

[B]

I don't even know. I don't know when that is and what comes with it.

[A]

It's an I don't give a.

[B]

Well, if you want your financial score, take the assessment. It is free@caleb hammer.com just takes you a few minutes. You can see where you stand, where you need to do better, where you're already doing pretty well. If you don't want to be like a guest on this show, make sure you download the Dollar wise budgeting app. It is my preferred budgeting app. Sign up for the free trial and if you like it, sign up for the annual version to save a ton of money. And if you do, I will sign personally, budget my Budget friendly cookbook and I'll mail it directly to you. And that is going away in just a couple months. So last opportunity is popping up now, Dollarwise.com to learn more there. Okay, let's jump into these documents. Okay. This venture one. Yeah. You have a. I mean, I see. I see things on here. And again, you can't afford to take care of this animal. It's very selfish for you. So you just have one dog, right? At least. No, no, because you said you have a few cats. What's the animal situation?

[A]

Dog wise. So personally, I have one dog, but I did have other dogs, but I.

[B]

Kind of had other dogs.

[A]

Yeah, I kind of gave them to my mom. Push them to the side.

[B]

I Had she want them?

[A]

No.

[B]

Is she managing them?

[A]

Yes. I mean, but the dogs love them. Three dogs?

[B]

You just dropped three dogs off of the house and said good luck.

[A]

Four. Four dogs.

[B]

Four.

[A]

Mm. Two Chihuahuas.

[B]

Why the did you have these dogs? You can't afford to take care of yourself. It is so selfish and disgusting of you.

[A]

I wanted the dogs. I wanted the inside dogs.

[B]

Exactly. You did. You're selfish, you're nasty, you're disgusting.

[A]

Well, they didn't want to be inside. They wanted to be outside.

[B]

What?

[A]

So I kind of just pushed them to my mom.

[B]

Huh. What does that have to do with anything? Well, them being outside.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Take them on walks. Welcome to being a dog caretaker, owner, whatever the you want to call it. Parents.

[A]

Beforehand. When I had my apartment before all this, way back when, I would get.

[B]

What, two years ago maybe?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Way back when I would get dogs. Well, I would get a dog, and I wanted them to be inside dogs, but they wouldn't want to be inside. So.

[B]

Yeah, dogs like to go outside. No, you tit.

[A]

Yeah, so I just gave them to my mom. And the cats? Yeah, cats were kind of friends. Would give me cats, and I would kind of just give them to my mom. Her house is bigger than my. Than my old apartment. So many square feet, huh?

[B]

How many square feet is her house?

[A]

I have no idea.

[B]

How many bedrooms and bathrooms?

[A]

Five bedrooms, two bathrooms. Just because it's that many rooms. It's not a big house, though. Not humongous.

[B]

That's what I was thinking. But it's still pretty bathrooms.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And you're. It's just loaded up with animals that you can take care of to save your life. It's very selfish.

[A]

I mean, they're fed.

[B]

So what has your debt payoff strategy been, if anything?

[A]

So my goal, I mean, is to be debt free by 2026.

[B]

Good. Yeah, but how are you supposed to be accomplishing that?

[A]

By what my mystic had told me when we had one of our sessions. She kind of read my cards and told me by 2026, I would be debt free.

[B]

The card said that? No, you know what actions you actually have to put in? It's you building a budget, following it, making sacrifices, and going out and getting a killing. Oh, dude, it's not a card. It's your actions. It doesn't just happen to what, you're gonna win the lottery, you're gonna get hit by a car, and you're gonna be able to sue for a lot of money. Like, what's gonna happen? What was the. What what did the cards say was gonna happen to get you there, big guy?

[A]

I mean, the cards just read that I would be debt free and successful in the year 2020 26. Sorry, how?

[B]

Which, by the way, is only in a few months when it starts. But how?

[A]

Everything's possible.

[B]

How?

[A]

I don't know. Come on. Maybe.

[B]

What's the strategy?

[A]

I can do only fans.

[B]

No, you can't.

[A]

Oh, what do you mean, no?

[B]

You're not that guy.

[A]

Try me.

[B]

No, no, thank you. You are the Hispanic, puffier cheek version of me and gay look. We built a hive head. Put on put. That was my. That was my gayer haircut before I started doing perms. You do look like the Hispanic, gay, puffy cheek version of me. You're not that guy.

[A]

The better version.

[B]

You're not that guy.

[A]

I am. I'm a bad.

[B]

Put this on.

[A]

Oh my God.

[B]

Don't touch.

[A]

Animal.

[B]

Now editor. Bring in when I had. Bring in when I had this haircut.

[A]

Even with context, the fact that I can see with your glasses, that's me. Because I'm committing crimes.

[B]

Can you not see without them?

[A]

I'm my contacts.

[B]

What is wrong with you? You're not wearing them.

[A]

Yeah, I am.

[B]

Gimme, gimme.

[A]

So we're twins.

[B]

No, you're the puffy taco.

[A]

My twin flame. There we go.

[B]

Huh?

[A]

Twin flame. We're connected.

[B]

I'm just saying, you're not that guy. I'm not that guy. We're not that guy.

[A]

I am that guy.

[B]

You're not that guy, pal. Trust me, you're not that guy. No, you would not be able to post hole. No one's paying for hole.

[A]

I mean, I already have it.

[B]

I know you have hole.

[A]

No. An only fan.

[B]

And how did you know this? Colton didn't even know this.

[A]

My bad. I mean, I don't really. I mean, I post on it.

[B]

How much do you make?

[A]

Nothing.

[B]

Uh huh. So that's your strategy? Is to keep posting on the thing that brings in zero dollars? Is it literally zero?

[A]

I think I have like 20 bucks on it right now.

[B]

What is that, two subs?

[A]

Yeah, I think so. No, I think it was one. Just reoccurring though.

[B]

Someone who forgot to cancel. Someone who was curious a long time ago and didn't forget.

[A]

I still get paid for it.

[B]

No, but it's not like actively going for you. And what, you're just every once in a while posting a hole for him?

[A]

I mean, I also have plants that I sell.

[B]

It's probably the mystic, isn't it?

[A]

No, she's lesbian.

[B]

Uh huh. But she's supportive of her boy, of course.

[A]

But yeah, I also do sell plants on the side.

[B]

Does that mean weed?

[A]

I'm not a crackhead.

[B]

Okay, well, it's weed, not crack.

[A]

Still. No.

[B]

I'm also, you know, taking the Hispanic nature of things.

[A]

Oh no, I sell plants. Just regular plants. And I have 350 plants, so I sell a lot of those. And I mean, that's some type of money.

[B]

How much?

[A]

I mean some of them like $5, $10.

[B]

So I can't add it to this. I mean a month on average. How much?

[A]

Maybe like 100 bucks.

[B]

I didn't believe that.

[A]

It's the money.

[B]

What is? Your fake little laugh after everything. It's obnoxious.

[A]

It's fun.

[B]

No, it's not. You know, you're in a podcast. Every single cent, every single second of audio is being recorded right now and you're just making little GZ constantly.

[A]

Okay?

[B]

Not giving the second person to sign up for that of I'll tell you that.

[A]

Oh, we can try.

[B]

You can certainly try.

[A]

I'll post more.

[B]

No, you're not that guy. Capital one venture. One $2,083.29 minimum due 149. I think it's usually what, 75? Because that is probably amplified due to.

[A]

A past payment now.

[B]

Why now? Why? Why? Cause you're getting unemployment. You had money, you're making money. But you, your parents cover everything. Your grandma gives you money. Why? Why are you laid on a $75 payment which is now doubled to 150? Why?

[A]

Well, because I took a trip to Chicago.

[B]

Who the are you to think you get to is that funny?

[A]

I mean, I had to go see Lady Gaga. No, she's not coming to Houston. Well now, no, she's coming to Austin and Dallas, not Houston, but beforehand she wasn't, so I had to go see her in Chicago. Great concert.

[B]

Well, unemployed.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You're a joke.

[A]

Gotta have fun.

[B]

No, you're a f. Joke. No, that's not a joke. You're a joke. You're a child. You do not get to splurge, go to a concert when unemployed and you owe money and you're living off of your grandmother, you disgusting creature. Who are you? What kind of entitlement piece of is in front of me right now? What is wrong with you?

[A]

Nothing.

[B]

You don't get to go to Lady Gaga. Certainly not across the country, south to north.

[A]

It was fun though.

[B]

I'm sure it was, you disgusting beast.

[A]

I mean, the tickets were already paid for. I Just bought the plane ticket and the hotel. Was the plane ticket like 300? 3, 400?

[B]

You're disgusting. You borrow almost that much from your grandma a month, and you take that and go to Chicago for Lady Gaga. That is. Are you not recognizing how disgusting that is?

[A]

No, because I went to go selfish. Well, I have to live life.

[B]

No, you can live life when you afford to do it. You are stealing from grandma to try to make it sound like you're paying the bills and then you're taking a flight. You're a disgusting, selfish piece of. I'm being candid right now. You are a bad person. Well, no, you're a bad person.

[A]

Why have to have.

[B]

No, you are a bad person. I need you to know you are a bad person.

[A]

And that's okay.

[B]

You're accepting of it. You're okay with being a bad person because it's not like you're impacting a random person on the street. This is your grandmother.

[A]

Well, I know she has money, so, I mean. Oh, well. Wow.

[B]

Wow. Oh, my goodness.

[A]

If I don't have it, I can ask for it.

[B]

Wow. You're horrible. You're a degenerate. You are horrible, man. I'm not saying these as an insult. I am saying for you to know if no one has ever told you the truth in reality, about you being a dog version of a human, you're a bad person.

[A]

Straight up. Not really, no.

[B]

Go ahead, tell me how. And what rebuttal would there be? I mean.

[A]

I mean, I still help out, so.

[B]

Yeah, I'm not that bad of a person.

[A]

Tell me.

[B]

Tell me you still help out.

[A]

I mean, like when she asks, like, if I could take her to the doctor's office, I'll take her. Or she has a cat, too. She has two cats. So if they need help to the.

[B]

Doctor you think is worth manipulating her for money because you tell her you're gonna pay your bills and then you don't, and then you fly to Chicago with the money or give it to your friend who you pay to be your friend for 15% a month of your well past income. I guess that doesn't even count anymore. You're a piece of. And then the lodging, food. How much did you spend in Chicago?

[A]

Maybe like 6, 700.

[B]

Wayfair's big sale is returning. Get ready for way day for four days only. Score up to 80 off all things.

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[B]

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[A]

Starting October 26th at Wayfair.com Wayfair. Every style, every home dread. That was the hotel, the Ubers, the food. Going out.

[B]

200 to 1,300 on this trip while unemployed and getting the money from your grandma to pay your bills. And then we look in your behind on a credit card so you can go to Lady Gaga in Chicago. Gross.

[A]

Again. It was fun.

[B]

No. Oh, my goodness. I don't. I don't. What do I do with someone like you? I know. It was fun. No one's arguing that. I want to be clear. And I also want to be vehemently clear. I actually want you to go.

[A]

I have another concert this week, too, actually, this Tuesday. Where? Where? In Houston.

[B]

How much did you spend on it?

[A]

I think that ticket was like 120.

[B]

What's the concert?

[A]

Marina and the Diamonds. Like pop music.

[B]

And when did you get it?

[A]

Right before I got laid off.

[B]

It's a little more reasonable. Listen, you probably still couldn't have afforded it, but I want to be again, clear as day. I want you to go to Chicago to see Lady Gaga if you want to, but only if you do not have any bad debt, because that is holding you back in life and creating risk over your head that you are now realizing because you had to move back in with family because you got laid off. Off, and you did not actually set yourself up for any type of success whatever. And only when you can fit it into 30% of your income because you are, at minimum contributing 20% for retirement after that. I want you to do it. I want you to blow 30% on whatever the you want. It can be anything.

[A]

I have another concert to go to also. That was in November, though. That was in Dallas.

[B]

Plus next month. Yeah, don't try to bring language to it like it's a year from now. It is next month in Dallas, meaning you are spending gas, you are getting food, and you're likely getting a hotel. Oh, yeah, from Grandma. You're disgusting.

[A]

That's how I bought the ticket.

[B]

No, to be very clear, you are one of the worst people that has sat in that seat in a long time.

[A]

It's okay.

[B]

No, like, deep down person, I've had people that annoy me for various reasons. I have had bad debt. You're one of the worst people to sit there. You are disgusting, manipulating your grandma for money to pay your bills, and you don't pay your bills. And Then you go to Chicago, live my life. You, you shouldn't even be getting help right now. You shouldn't even have me go through your finances. Said if people weren't enjoying this episode, I would stop right now and I'd tell you to go find yourself. But instead I'll tell you to go yourself. But I'm going to at least keep.

[A]

Going and I'll put on only fans.

[B]

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[A]

I have my followers. Hey, at least the one will be.

[B]

Would you buy the Dallas tickets, asshole.

[A]

I think after I got laid off I have to go. You.

[B]

You do not.

[A]

Yes. What?

[B]

Why do you have to.

[A]

It's Dom$. I have to go.

[B]

Okay? That means nothing to me. Why do you have to go, though?

[A]

Because he. So I want to go see him.

[B]

Is this true, Brandon? You like DJs? Brandon's saying no. And he lives in Dallas. You don't know what you're talking about.

[A]

It's Dom Dolla. You are wrong. He played ACL and then he played afters at Emos. Oh, I didn't know that one. I know ACL because I went there.

[B]

You are wrong.

[A]

That's why I want to see him again.

[B]

So it's. Again. So you're not even right? It's not that he never comes. He just did Austin City Limits last year. Austin Axel.

[A]

Austin City Limits.

[B]

City Limits Music Festival. And then went to a club afterwards.

[A]

Why? They know that one.

[B]

You're a piece of. You're lying.

[A]

Well, I have to go.

[B]

See, trying to manipulate me about how this is a once in a lifetime thing when you've already done it. Shut up.

[A]

So I want to see him again. I actually had tickets to go to ACL for next weekend.

[B]

So you're getting hotel for three days. Because there's no way you're driving from Houston every day for.

[A]

No, not acl. I'm not going to aco. I want to. You just.

[B]

Are you?

[A]

No, I went last year. I said I had tickets for next weekend. Not anymore, though.

[B]

You sold them. Why?

[A]

I really didn't like the lineup.

[B]

That's why not. Because he was trying to be a good person. Do you realize what you are?

[A]

I'm bad. You a bougie that I need to go to concerts.

[B]

13 years to pay this off. Minimum payments only if you don't purchase. And you're not even making your minimum payments. And you're certainly not purchasing because you're over the limit by $83 and 29 cents. Because you don't make payments. Because you're selfish and irresponsible and a child and immature in every way whatsoever.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah, you better. There's no disagreement that it's impossible? What? Now you say you gotta spend. This makes no sense. Every time there's anything you've ever done wrong.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Why do you gotta.

[A]

Because I want to go out. So I have to watch.

[B]

Not you got. You want.

[A]

Same thing.

[B]

No, it is not. You need to pay your electricity bill. You want to go get drinks at the bar. They are not the same thing.

[A]

So I gotta go to get drinks.

[B]

For a spoiled Brat whose mommy and daddy and grandma have enabled his or they them's lifestyle. They them's entire life. And you're a freak. Now you're a piece of who's a scourge on this planet that we should honestly lock up.

[A]

You're welcome.

[B]

Keep you away from the rest of us. Well, not a homophobic thing. I just mean he's a piece of. To be very clear. I know some people will read that out of context. You're just a piece of anyone that takes advantage of their family. Like you go to the dirt, not death. But you. You hold the rest of us back. You hold back the human race. You're nasty.

[A]

No, I'm fun.

[B]

No, because this is the least least fun 47 minutes I've currently sat through in months. Well, you're horrible. And I'm making sure I reiterate that over and over again because I don't think people have told you that enough in your Life. I have 29 years to catch up on for that.

[A]

You can say it. I'll just say I'm fine.

[B]

You've dumped. If you've been listening, this is okay, right? Past due total interest this year so far. Almost 500 bucks at a 28.99 interest rate. Some. Sometimes people say I'm too mean.

[A]

I just don't.

[B]

If this isn't warranted, I don't know what is. Okay, what is this? After pay affirm. What? What am I looking at? What are you affirming while living at home with your parents and being enabled by them?

[A]

Let me see. I have a couple Amazon orders.

[B]

Ticketmaster.

[A]

I did. Oh, yeah, Ticketmaster. Well, technically, yes. What? Well, because that one.

[B]

What?

[A]

That one's for Tuesday. So it's not just me, myself going, it's five other people. But I put most of the payment down, so my payment's only $5.

[B]

What?

[A]

You.

[B]

Huh.

[A]

Splitting that payment between all of us.

[B]

I had, like, a month or whatever.

[A]

Yes. Yeah.

[B]

So they give you money to make the payment? Mm, let's hope they don't that up.

[A]

No.

[B]

Pull up your affirm.

[A]

Let me see.

[B]

You owe a total of $2,029.91.

[A]

What do you do? Okay, I have it up. Welcome to Walgreens. Looking for a holiday gift?

[B]

Sort of.

[A]

My cousin Freddie showed up to surprise us. Oh, sounds like a real nice surprise. Exactly. So now I have to get him a gift, but I haven't gotten my bonus yet.

[B]

So if we can make it something really nice but also not break the bank, that'd be perfect. How about a keurig for 50% off? Bingo. Savings all season. The holiday road is long. We're with you all the way. Walgreens offer, valid November 26 through December 27. Exclusions apply.

[A]

Do you want to see it? Amazon. I don't remember what I ordered from there. Oh, wait, it went blank. Let me see.

[B]

Oh, so 29, 24. It's a $24.36 payment a month. You are losing interest like crazy. I know for a fact with a payment that low, you're at about 36% interest. Amazon.

[A]

Not all the orders are mine, though.

[B]

It's always convenient.

[A]

But I can tell you which ones they are.

[B]

Wired earbuds. They look like apple ones. They're not.

[A]

Yeah, that was my phone. I thought they were.

[B]

You really are.

[A]

Well, my bad. I just clicked on the top one. Oh, he's usually supposed to be.

[B]

Oh, he's.

[A]

Ooh.

[B]

Okay. Okay. We should keep you at home.

[A]

No, I shouldn't move out. I think I deserve it.

[B]

You got to rake the soil.

[A]

Like I said, most of them are not mines.

[B]

Nut milk bag.

[A]

That one is.

[B]

Plastic juice bottle. Omega 3 fatty acids. Cruise essential. Flat plug. You're not going on a cruise, are you?

[A]

No.

[B]

Good.

[A]

It's an outlet, not a cruise.

[B]

Oh, the brain is cruise essentials. Fuel pump, mounting plate. So Can't. Water fountain. Yeah, you definitely didn't have water for them ever before. Right? Absolutely. You don't need to get that right now. Black satin fabric by the yard. Some screw. Eye pin screws. 100 piece nursery growing bags. We know that's you. And you're certainly not getting a return on investment. 5 pack, 10 gallon thickened grow bags.

[A]

Great.

[B]

I'm glad this guy's allowed to have all these hobbies while not working and taking from his grandma to go to Chicago for a Lady Gaga concert. What a dick. More nursery. Organic dog shampoo. That is a more pleasure friendly way than going to the groomer. So I can appreciate that to a certain point. Obviously, make sure you take care of their. Like when they get all matted up or whatever it's called. Calendar. Yeah, none of us have calendars on our phones. Privacy, iPhone. Sticker. Endless, endless cat litter for all the cats. Not ordinary. Got lots of the ordinary skin care. Lots of the ordinary skin care. Nourishing oil to foam cleanser. It's not working, buddy. It's not working. And two. So there's no point. Anyway, you're scrunching your forehead so much, you're gonna look like you're 80 at 30.

[A]

It's okay. That's what Botox is for.

[B]

Which you have not done in a prevent. Preventative matter.

[A]

It's okay. I can still go there.

[B]

I see that for everything. Okay, great, Wonderful. You got a daily planner again. Definitely don't have no apps on our iPhone. Endless bags of cat litter, Lots of plant stuff. We got a fan. I mean, it's just like, you don't need to be doing this hobby right now. You don't. Let's get your subscriptions while we're here. You don't need to be doing these hobbies right now when you are sitting there manipulating your family. It is disgusting. You should be spending all your time curating your resumes for the specific jobs that you are trying to do, which you're not even doing for your bartending job.

[A]

I thought it was just one resume and that's it. I mean, it's on there. That I have. I did the bartending classes.

[B]

Apple Music, iCloud Plus, had Audible, had Instagram a couple times. Multiple different. Oh, he's paying for a few Instagrams. He also. You know what he was paying for? Unfollow trackers. He's following. Who's unfollowing him?

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

What are you, a middle schooler?

[A]

Well, I gotta unfollow if you're not gonna follow me.

[B]

Such a. Yeah, I told you he was a petty, sassy gay. I told you. I know the. And then face ship, high face face shape finder.

[A]

I think that was an editing app.

[B]

I know you need it.

[A]

I think not for that.

[B]

Oh, Colton's calling you a plant gay. That's true. I forgot that term. Yes, I forgot that term. You are a plant gay. You can't afford to be a plant gay right now, though. It can't. It's not the time. You should be spending all your plant gay time on gay Applying to jobs.

[A]

I mean, I applied to jobs.

[B]

Yeah, not in the way that is, obviously. Five a week's a joke. You're a joke. Oh. Oh. What a disgusting animal. What a disgusting animal.

[A]

I mean, I'm still applying, though.

[B]

Shut the up. Not in any kind of way. You're applying minimum way to probably keep unemployment for a while. Any other kind of benefits you're getting. You spent over a thousand hours on plant seeds.

[A]

Yes, but it's a variegated one. I want to see. I have a picture of it.

[B]

Shut the. No, look. Never, not once will I ever look. Care credit. What happened with this?

[A]

This is. That's for the animals.

[B]

Because you're an irresponsible person that got animals when you couldn't afford to deal with them. Yes, who would have thought?

[A]

But I'm taking care of them.

[B]

Well, that's until this is down. And then you can't. Asshole. No, that's $1,324.88. You can do that one more time and then it's maxed out. And then if they have an emergency, how the are you going to cover it? Good luck. Good luck to them. Bad owner.

[A]

No. Yes. They got their vaccines and everything.

[B]

Payment 44. You did the bare minimums. You're not able to take care of an emergency. You're not able to take care. And there will be. They're animals. They go crazy. Especially if a lot of them are outside all the time. They will eat something or get injured by something like you.

[A]

Well, then why ask grandma to borrow money again? Then they're taken care of.

[B]

Honestly.

[A]

I mean, I don't know. Healthy.

[B]

Right now I'm talking.

[A]

That's all that matters.

[B]

I'm talking, Mr. Vice President.

[A]

I'm speaking. I have. I'm speaking.

[B]

Well, I don't know how you are comfortable living the life you do. Living in your own skin, being this disgusting creature that I am. No.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Objectively, no. No one that talks about their grandma like that has any kind of good vibe. You are a vibe that is a plague to anyone around you. You and your other person that you pay. Your. Your. Your vibe queen, whatever you call her. Mystic Down.

[A]

No.

[B]

Yes. Look where you both are. You're both failures. You do nothing. And you're losers.

[A]

And you.

[B]

You manipulate people to get what you want and live the life you want.

[A]

Exactly. But fun. I'm living my life at the expense of others. Yes. I mean, if I want to do it, I have to do it. There's a concert I want to go to. I have to go to it. Even if I. What?

[B]

If you want to have sex with someone who doesn't want to have sex with you?

[A]

Then I won't do it.

[B]

So where do you draw the line? You're okay with using other people's money when they don't necessarily want to do it for the things that you want to do it for, because you're okay with doing a lot of things that other people want to do?

[A]

They don't draw the line. Then I'm not going to draw the line either.

[B]

No. Your grandma thinks she's giving you the money to pay the bills. That is what you said earlier.

[A]

Yeah. To pay the dog food. Cat food.

[B]

Exactly. So where do you draw the line?

[A]

I mean, they have food. I would just.

[B]

Oh, gosh, he's. Oh, you're impossible. You might be the biggest. Where is he on the line of being the biggest piece of on financial audit?

[A]

The farthest.

[B]

Are you proud of that? Are you proud of being a horrible, horrendous person?

[A]

I'm not though.

[B]

Yes, you are. Can you give me anything that suggests that you're not?

[A]

Like I said, I mean, I help out dude.

[B]

Driving her to the doctor here and there. Yeah, sure. Great. You did a minimum basic responsibility of a grandson. Well done.

[A]

Take care of her animals when she needs it. It once in a while, though. I think I'm a good person, though.

[B]

Oh, my. Yeah. You know what a good person doesn't do when you're max out on your affirm, you have affirmed via your brother's account.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

And then you're late paying him to make the payments and then I get credit him over.

[A]

No.

[B]

Yes. Yes. If it's on his credit his affirm and you're not paying him in time, you are him over. You cannot tell me no from that.

[A]

That is not really.

[B]

That is as black and white as possible. If you do not give him the payment of time, you are objectively him over. How can you tell me no if.

[A]

I don't make the payment, then he will, so. I mean, the payment's still being made.

[B]

Dude, dude, you're a.

[A]

It's still being made.

[B]

Oh, I can't reason with you.

[A]

Well, again, the payment's being made, so it's not messing him up.

[B]

Believe it or not, from these conversations, ladies and gentlemen, surprising as you guys may find it, my blood pressure often does not rise during these because people annoy me. The deaths are crazy, but I've gotten used to them. I see it, it's normal and it brings a little bit of outrage, sure. But this. I feel my blood pressure rising more than I felt in any episode in a very long time because I am enraged at you because you just. You're the worst.

[A]

You should get it checked out then.

[B]

It is rising. At this moment, it is not high on average. Well, do you know how blood pressure works?

[A]

No. You're.

[B]

You are a. But living my life only because of others. You will never be able to do anything on your own. You're a failure.

[A]

No, please tell me. I'll figure it out.

[B]

Oh, that's the evidence we have to suggest we're not a failure. I'll figure it out.

[A]

It's okay, I'll go to my mystic and have my cards ready again. Yeah.

[B]

Bring each other down. She tell me what to do. Bring each other down even further.

[A]

She'll point me to the right.

[B]

She's probably your mystic in the post show.

[A]

That's fine. She can read your cards.

[B]

JL Recovery collections. I believe recovery is collections.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What Is this for? $535.65.

[A]

That's an old credit card. I think that was my first credit card ever.

[B]

And why didn't you pay it?

[A]

I maxed it out, and I think I had gotten.

[B]

Why didn't you pay it?

[A]

I think it was on auto pay, but.

[B]

So why didn't you pay it?

[A]

Because I think I lost you. Don't. Let me explain, please. I lost the card and I didn't change it or update it, so it doesn't matter.

[B]

You think? Guys, if I don't have my physical card on me, I actually can't make a payment in the app or online? What?

[A]

Well, this doesn't have. It didn't have an app. It was just online.

[B]

Okay, go online again. You have.

[A]

I just forgot.

[B]

Does nothing.

[A]

I just forgot to change it.

[B]

No, you just have to make the payments. It's not about changing it. It's the payment.

[A]

Exactly. Well, I had on autopay with my old card. Then when I lost that one, I didn't go back and update it, so I just forgot about the.

[B]

You're not a credit card person. I'll maybe allow you to use the Fizz card. Debit card. That builds credit. A lot of people have used that to build credit in the audience. I'll with you. You're a piece of almost. I want to give you. I don't. I don't know if I want to give you. You might be the first guest. I turned down the resources for that. We pride for free because you're a.

[A]

That's why I came to you to help me.

[B]

No, I don't believe it for a second. Maybe you had that in the bottom of your heart, but you're digging a hole. You're putting your pin in the ground, and you're just holding to it.

[A]

No.

[B]

No. You just did. Right there.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Quicksilver. What's going on?

[A]

That one was my second credit card I opened. Yeah, My second one. That one, I think is maxed out because I would go out.

[B]

It's over. Maxed out?

[A]

Oh, yeah. Then, yeah. I mean, I would go out, get drinks, food, buy things I saw online.

[B]

Okay. How much did you spend on groceries last Month versus how much did you spend going out to eat groceries while zero dollars came in?

[A]

Maybe like 60 bucks.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And going out to eat, maybe, like 400.

[B]

Why is that considered acceptable at all for someone unemployed, abusing their family?

[A]

Because, I mean, I get tired of eating at home. I want to go out and eat a restaurant.

[B]

Gosh. Why do you think your want supersedes you just being an adult? Why do think that? Where is that stemming from in your life?

[A]

Because you have to live long.

[B]

Therapy.

[A]

No, that's what I have my mystic for. That's okay. She can read your cards on the post.

[B]

171 groceries, 514. Going out to eat. 514. Not a crazy number compared to this show. $0 of income, laid off, abusing his family. Crazy number.

[A]

It was good food, though.

[B]

Doubt it.

[A]

No, it was nice restaurants.

[B]

Was it? Look at you. Your face is drooping.

[A]

It was good food.

[B]

At least my fatness likes to stay nice and firm. Yours is just like, hanging. You're starting to. He's turning good, though. He's turning into the. What was that? It was like an animated character who's always like, like. And, like, he just sagged. I think it was a dog. I'm a failure.

[A]

Who watches anime?

[B]

Huh?

[A]

Who watches anime?

[B]

Animated character. Who watches anime? A lot of the world. I don't. I'm not even defending it, but, like, everyone.

[A]

No. No.

[B]

Okay, good rebuttal.

[A]

I don't know what that is.

[B]

You don't know what the rebuttal is?

[A]

No.

[B]

All right. I'm advocating for opening a camp that we put people like him in, and it'll be fun. How do we determine them? How do we determine what people like you are? I don't know yet, but we need to keep you away from this world.

[A]

It'll be a fun camp, though.

[B]

This is. And I don't actually mean that to be clear, but it's just like, I don't know, man. There's something wrong with you. You don't even know what the word rebuttal means. Like, I don't even know how to deal with that. Like, I'm kind of retarded. I'll be honest.

[A]

I'll be honest with you.

[B]

I'm kind of retarded. Like, I am dumb in a lot of things, but I just. I'm concerned at your lack of everything. His face is doing this. This is what his face is doing. He looks like this.

[A]

Oh, my God. No, I do not.

[B]

Yes, he does.

[A]

I do not look like that. Again, like I said, I can Just.

[B]

Go get Botox that's more preventative than it is post care. I mean, and you're not. And you can't afford it, by the way. Botox is not.

[A]

I mean, I'll find somebody to.

[B]

You're getting back alley Botox.

[A]

No, not like that. Said, I'll find somebody to pay for it.

[B]

You're horrendous. Listen, you actually had transactions, then interest hit and it pushed you over the credit limit on this quicksilver card. So you get $51.91 of purchases, then $12.20 of interest. McDonald's. McDonald's. H&M.

[A]

Oh, yeah, there's the good love. H and M. Oh, well, am I having quick food? Because I Rarely go to McDonald's. Don't even look at me like that.

[B]

Well, there it is. You. I've also had a late fee this year so far.

[A]

I got that one waved though. I did call him and get it waived.

[B]

You. You didn't.

[A]

For this year? Yes.

[B]

No, it's. There. That might be a different card, Dick.

[A]

Well, one of them was waived.

[B]

Great. This wasn't.

[A]

Well, I can give him a call.

[B]

No, I highly doubt it because it's not even this month. This is old.

[A]

It's old.

[B]

It's been this year so far.

[A]

I'll still give him a call.

[B]

Yeah, you can give him a call.

[A]

Then I'll be under.

[B]

Good luck. You asked for it. And I'm delivering a way to connect the dots to see how the stuff we talk about applies to you, your money, your debt and your goals. The wait is over because Master your money. My all in one personal finance platform is finally live inside. You'll get access to all of my courses, budgeting templates, calculators, a community of like minded budgeters, exclusive content, weekly tips and free access to the Dollarwise premium budgeting app. Learn everything from budgeting to investing. Tune in weekly for behind the Budget, a Master your money exclusive and join members monthly challenges just to celebrate your wins. And since it's Black Friday, I'm giving you access to our members exclusive audits, financial audit post shows and more insider content and our newly upgraded Hammer Elite 3.0 membership. I've wrapped it all into what I'm calling the ultimate Hammer bundle. Sign up for Master your money today and get lifetime pricing at just $39.99 a month, over $100 in annual savings and access to the dollar wise budgeting app. Premium version 1 month of Hammer Elite 3.0 for free. Plus a free budget friendly cookbook that you can download. This insane offer ends after Black Friday. So if you want to master your money, click below and get started today, guys, just real quick, don't forget to take your Hammer Financial score@caleb hammer.com. see where you stand, where you got to do better, where you're doing shit. Listen, it just takes a few minutes and it is free. Figure out where you stand in the world of money. Caleb hammer.com. yeah, give him a call, guy, and do whatever you think that is.

[A]

Ask him to weigh the fee.

[B]

Is that H and M. This?

[A]

Yeah, actually. Mm. And the jeans.

[B]

It is affordable clothing, but I highly doubt you don't have clothing. I highly doubt you don't have clothing.

[A]

Uh, yeah, I do. I go to H and M a lot. I do buy Gymshark. I love gymshark. Huh? Gymshark. What. What is it, like, workout clothes?

[B]

K. So that you can put them in the closet?

[A]

No, I use them. I go work out.

[B]

Okay. Maybe 28.99% interest rate. What is this?

[A]

Oh, this is overdue.

[B]

You. What is overdue?

[A]

Oh, that's cash app.

[B]

What about it?

[A]

Don't die.

[B]

What about it?

[A]

Cash app. I borrowed that money, I think, to buy plants stuff or plants in general.

[B]

Is it. Is it the advanced pay type thing? Yeah, listen.

[A]

Yeah, you take.

[B]

I talk about this, and I will talk about this. Just like any credit cards. Just like consolidation, just like bankruptcy, even the pay advance stuff is not necessarily a bad tool. You can use it to your advantage. But if you're not a credit card person, you're not a pay advance person, you cannot use these tools, and you obviously cannot not. I can. You cannot. Colton can. You cannot. Brandon and Lindsay, can. You can.

[A]

It was getting paid.

[B]

This audience likely can. You cannot. So it doesn't matter. Why use a tool that is obviously you.

[A]

It was getting paid.

[B]

It's not paid, though. So that's all that matters.

[A]

Was.

[B]

Yes. Why? Why do I care about was? Why do I care about was? Why is was what matters at all?

[A]

Because there was some payments made.

[B]

Why does was matter? It is not being paid now. That now is what matters. Now in the future. I don't give a about past.

[A]

Well, it's overdue now.

[B]

That's what I'm saying, you dumb.

[A]

Well, it'll just sit there. It's okay.

[B]

Oh, Colton. Colton, never again, please. That's not a joke. You're horrible. You say you come here to get help. I don't see it. You're not even willing to acknowledge that this is bad.

[A]

The money was used already. I can't pay it back.

[B]

How does that make it? What? How are you using that as a justification? How? Explain to me in detail. In detail. I really want to understand your logic. Please, please, please.

[A]

It'll get paid eventually.

[B]

That's not the logic. That's not the logic. You said it's okay because you already spent the money. Explain how that justifies it.

[A]

Well, the money's gone.

[B]

Oh, you're answer questions. You can't answer questions to save your life. You can't even define your own world view of moronic.

[A]

It'll get paid eventually. Some point. Someday.

[B]

So you have four catchphrases, huh?

[A]

Sure.

[B]

If we knew more about our sleep, what would we do differently? Would we go to bed at a consistent time or take steps to reduce interruptions to our sleep? With the all new sleep score, Apple Watch measures your bedtime consistency, interruptions and sleep duration. Then every morning it combines these factors into an easy to understand score. From 1 to 100. So you'll know how to take the quality of your sleep from good to excellent. Introducing the new sleep score on Apple Watch. IPhone 11 or later required. Is there like. Oh, you just have to pay that back all on a lump sum. There's not like a minimum payment or anything. It's just like you have to pay that back.

[A]

Yeah, I think that one does acquire the interest weekly. I think.

[B]

Did you type that Colton? Colton typed. Who is a very gay man, by the way. And we love that. We love that. But he typed that he is getting closer to understanding homophobia via this episode.

[A]

But yeah, that's my cash app. Oh, is it?

[B]

Is it Shut the up. Capital one. Just the regular capital one. What's going on with this? Oh, it's over. Maxed out. Who would have thought?

[A]

Which one? I have three cars with them shot up. Oh, my God.

[B]

We already did venture. We already did Quicksilver.

[A]

Yeah, I just use whatever's available.

[B]

No, no. And now nothing is. There's another one of your catchphrases. 202 and 29 cents with a minimum depayment of $25.

[A]

No late fees on that one though.

[B]

We'll see $82 of purchases than $5.36 of interest. Not then. Because of the purchasing put putting it above the limit. Every credit card we've looked at so far is above the limit. It's horrible.

[A]

I just use it. I'll pay the minimum.

[B]

Insightful, Insightful. Ladies and gentlemen, he's put him on a public speaking tour right now. There's been two late Fees this year so far. So to your no late fees, I say you.

[A]

Well, that's probably the one I got. I called to get away here. One of them. I called to get away.

[B]

It is here. If you got one wave, that mean you've got three and two are posted which is probably very possible given your situation and lack of maturity. You probably didn't even know the other two happened. Yeah, no Amazon vending machine.

[A]

Oh yeah, gas.

[B]

That's okay. But I would have put it on a credit card that I can't pay off. That is accruing interest in pushing it above a limit. You and then I think you got some potentially at Walmart. I don't know. No one really goes and gets $19 a groceries. Certainly not someone who doesn't cook.

[A]

I can cook.

[B]

But you don't. I know you probably can. You're a human that exists with hands.

[A]

I can cook. I just. I'd rather not. I'd rather not.

[B]

He's a moron.

[A]

He'd rather just go out. He's someone else idiot.

[B]

I have not. I don't know if I've met a dumber person creating on this planet. Colton. Why is he here? How long did your conversations take? He handed you two onboarding phone calls. That means you're special.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

Not in the good way.

[A]

No, you didn't clarify.

[B]

I just did.

[A]

Before. What?

[B]

What the.

[A]

Hello, friends.

[B]

Guess who. That's right, it is I the replacer.

[A]

Once again and I've been called on. So you can play the new Call.

[B]

Of Duty Black Ops 7 with three expansive modes, 18 multiplayer maps and the tastiest zombie gameplay you've ever freaking seen. Call of Duty Black Ops 7 available now.

[A]

Rated M for mature.

[B]

Half a second gap in between amount of interest as well your late fees above the limits. Purchasing on bull? Nothing's good. The only purchase that wasn't 100% bull that we looked at so far was gas. But even that shouldn't be on a credit card like this. Anyway.

[A]

I used to drive an hour and a half to work, so that's how I was.

[B]

This is when you were unemployed. Shut up. It's at a 31 interest rate. Congratulations. Really. Funding my stock in capital one.

[A]

You're welcome.

[B]

What is this?

[A]

Klarna?

[B]

Okay.

[A]

That one was an Amazon payment.

[B]

Five days late. Five days late?

[A]

That was after a layoff. That was Amazon after.

[B]

What else did he do when he was after laid off? Well, went to purchase a DJ that he never sees because he never comes down. Came down last year and he Saw him and also went and spent thirteen hundred dollars in Chicago. Die, die. Don't die. Actually, I don't want you to die, but just stop existing in front of me.

[A]

But yeah, you're just horrible Amazon. And that was vitamins for my dog. You see, I thought he's taken care of.

[B]

Doubt it though. I just don't believe you. I saw your Amazon resolve. Pop, patch or plant?

[A]

Well, I mean, yeah, I have to sell plants.

[B]

You're not selling. 141.9. Fine, I'll put you on here. No, you're late constantly. You probably just owe that and then you're done. Dick.

[A]

Yes. Oh, okay. Oh, that's my Chase. That was actually for the tickets I purchased to go to Vegas for a show.

[B]

What the.

[A]

Why?

[B]

When was Vegas?

[A]

I think I was supposed to go in March, but I end up returning those tickets.

[B]

But they're not paying.

[A]

Yeah, no, I use the money for their stuff. I think it was Vegas. And then I don't remember what the other one is. Oh, Craft Land. That was this place in Houston that I went to. Huh. And I did the pay in four. And I didn't make the payments on that either.

[B]

No, you certainly did not.

[A]

I think that's like from a year ago.

[B]

Land in Vegas paying for.

[A]

Didn't go to the festival.

[B]

Paid in none.

[A]

I paid half for both.

[B]

Oh, you're piece of.

[A]

So they got something back up.

[B]

Shut the up.

[A]

Something was paid.

[B]

Half of Vegas was paid. Only one of four from Craftland. So you can't even genuinely. You can't even accurately speak on what's happening.

[A]

Something was paid though. I think that was like last year though.

[B]

Okay, so this Chase paying for. You owe $428.16 minimum monthly. You only have to do it a couple times. Dick.

[A]

That was 171. I owe.

[B]

No, do math.

[A]

I think I did do my math.

[B]

No, buddy, you don't know what numbers are. $171.58. Sense is your minimum monthly. That's your minimum.

[A]

No, that's total do.

[B]

That's your total due in a minimum way. I. Buddy, I see it right here. Shut up. I don't want to hear you. What's this?

[A]

That was a personal one I took out.

[B]

Oh, God. For what?

[A]

That was back in 2021. I did it to do.

[B]

To do minimum monthly.

[A]

I don't know. That one's in collections. That one I had taken out to go do a lipo360 at the time.

[B]

What?

[A]

Lipo360. What? I gone to Mexico to get lipo.

[B]

Did it work?

[A]

Yes and no.

[B]

You got liposuction?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Instead of just dealing with your.

[A]

I mean, it's.

[B]

You do it again on your face, though.

[A]

No, I just got it here. My stomach area. 2021. I went to Mexico.

[B]

How much did they take?

[A]

Four liters. Four or five, I think he said.

[B]

How many pounds is that?

[A]

I don't know. It was in Mexico. So the metrics were different? Yes. I don't know the metrics over there, but yeah, it was. Huh. But Yeah, I then. May 2021.

[B]

Was it worth it? Cuz now it's in collections.

[A]

I guess. I mean, I. It was nice when I did it. Surgery kind of went. I woke up during the surgery. I don't think I was supposed to, though.

[B]

I consciously woke up. Yeah. Did they put you back to sleep?

[A]

Yeah, right away.

[B]

Well, that's good. How long were you awake?

[A]

Like five minutes.

[B]

And you saw them inside of you?

[A]

Yeah, I felt the rod going in and out.

[B]

That's not good.

[A]

Yeah. No. I'd do it again though. Maybe not in Mexico, but I'd go somewhere else to do it again.

[B]

Were you born here?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

We can't send him back.

[A]

I mean, I go back permanently. Yeah. I think it's better than the U.S. so good. Totally. I.

[B]

You know. Totally agree. Totally agree.

[A]

I'll stay here because of you. You. You know what? I'll come and move to Austin next to you.

[B]

It's okay. We're moving away.

[A]

There's a cow. Just follow you.

[B]

You can't afford where we're going, Twin.

[A]

That's why I said we're Twin Flames. What's this? Another little loan? Four, I think that one I take off to pay rent once.

[B]

Yeah, okay.

[A]

I think it was 300.

[B]

175. Yeah, it was a two payment thing. Split in two.

[A]

It was four payments. I just missed two. What is wrong with you?

[B]

Why are you never able to make any payments on anything?

[A]

Because I like to spend. Yeah. I like to go. No, this was Christmas gifts.

[B]

It wasn't for rent.

[A]

There it goes. That's what it was.

[B]

How do you not even know your own.

[A]

I just take it out and I use it. You're.

[B]

Oh my goodness. There's no words to describe you that are insulting enough.

[A]

They at least got half the payment, so some of it was paid, but yeah.

[B]

Is it in collections or do you owe it?

[A]

No, I still owe it. I don't think they go to collections.

[B]

Anything can go to collections. Pretty much.

[A]

Well, that one's been Like a year.

[B]

It's probably in there. Internal collections.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

175 do up front. 175. So put that as your minimum. But it pays it off. This is. You just wrote everything we've already seen. So. Yeah.

[A]

See it?

[B]

Okay. Money. Oh, de grandma. Yeah.

[A]

Oh yeah. Good.

[B]

Is she taking a tally? Cuz she should.

[A]

I take the tally on that one. She just gives me money but you know, I kind of still write it down. Well, I think 21, 23,000 I owe her. Yeah. So whenever I would have things like say my car needed tires, she would pay for it. Or like my trips, you see, she would give me money for the trips. Let's see, what else? Bills. Some bills. When I would be late I would ask her for it. But yeah, that's kind of how I racked all 23,000.

[B]

To your grandmother. How old is she?

[A]

She was 52. Let me see.

[B]

That's incredibly young. Are you sure you're almost 30?

[A]

73. No, she was born 52.

[B]

You. Oh, you're taking this from a 73 year old woman.

[A]

I mean she has money to.

[B]

For her. For her retirement and survival and medical and whatnot. That pops up Life and her having money doesn't mean it's going to enable you. Regardless. 23,000. I sure know the. There's no minimum payment on this.

[A]

I mean I got it from her. She liked to spend. I like to spend.

[B]

Dad. I see money to dad.

[A]

That's 2K. That was for the accounting assistant classes.

[B]

What does your dad think of you?

[A]

The best. His favorite child.

[B]

No way. There's not a chance in this world.

[A]

Like I say, I do stuff for them.

[B]

There's not a chance in this world. You're the favorite kid. How many brothers and siblings?

[A]

I have five brothers.

[B]

No way. You're the one mathematically impossible.

[A]

Four brothers.

[B]

It's not possible.

[A]

Yes. And one sister.

[B]

No, you are not the favorite. I refuse to believe in any worlds unless they are literal heroin addicts.

[A]

I can bet you I'm the favorite child. Again, I'm the fun child. You're the taker but the fun child.

[B]

No money on the friend. For what and how much?

[A]

Colorado. I think it's one.

[B]

Colorado?

[A]

Oh yes. I go to Colorado once a year also. That's one of them. For grandma. I go to Colorado once a year and she'll give me money to go.

[B]

How much do you owe?

[A]

Oh her. I think it's like 111 or 110. It was for gas.

[B]

The portion of the gas $111. That's it? You owe that and you haven't even paid that?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Dude, you're such a bad person.

[A]

I mean, she really doesn't care, but I know I still owe her. We still go out together. You see, I have more friends besides my mystic.

[B]

No, you just called the mystic your best friend.

[A]

I mean, yeah.

[B]

Hyundai.

[A]

That one is a little tricky.

[B]

Wait, sold the car? They repoed?

[A]

Yes. Not because I wanted to. Because. No, wait, wait, wait. That car. I had got that car brand new because I was like, I want a car brand new. So I have no issues with it. Nothing mechanical wrong with it. I got that car. It was up.

[B]

You what?

[A]

It was back to back. It kept messing up. I got a limit, a lawyer. And they didn't do their job right.

[B]

Yeah, it's. It's always anyone and everyone but yourself. Shut up. For 25. Looks like after fees and everything. And from the 50 year old 26811 again.

[A]

That car touched it.

[B]

Have you?

[A]

No, no. Sh. That just happened this summer.

[B]

Credit must be. Oh great. It's fresh, it's new, it's going to be on here forever. Is that your first repo?

[A]

Yes, like I said the car was.

[B]

It is not.

[A]

That's my first repo.

[B]

No, it is not.

[A]

I don't have another repo. You told Colton you the other one? Yeah. That car was paid off though. My bad. I forgot about that one. So yes, this is my second one. But the first one, I missed that payment by a week and they took that car.

[B]

That's not how that works. They won't take it from one week. They will not.

[A]

The payments were always made on time on that one.

[B]

They will not take one week. It's three months.

[A]

No, they took that one right away. They took that one right away. Okay. Were you there when the car got repoed?

[B]

They will not do that.

[A]

I was there.

[B]

Uh oh.

[A]

That car was gone from that parking spot.

[B]

They will. They won't do that.

[A]

Well, they took it again. This car was. Because that car was messed up back to back. Messing up up.

[B]

What's your car situation now?

[A]

I don't have a car.

[B]

How'd you get here?

[A]

Oh, I borrowed my mom's car.

[B]

You're what a leech. What a disgusting leech.

[A]

Well, I had a car.

[B]

Uhhuh. $50,000 car you borrowed making 2600amonth. Make it 30 a year. You borrowed a $50,000 car?

[A]

Supposed to be reliable. Supposed to be.

[B]

Doesn't matter. It's a number. That's not even close. To something you can afford.

[A]

Well, my goal was to go back to school and make.

[B]

Oh, so let's get a fifty thousand dollar car that we can't afford. Shut up.

[A]

That was reliable but yeah, that car messed up.

[B]

We're negative in our checking or capital one Checking your negative. Let's just spending money going to endlessly and just and bait shop and KFC Slim chickens. This is. Look at this is pages of Ladies and gentlemen, top down camera. Get this. He's stopping and getting some bullshit. What are you getting to the gas station for four bucks constantly.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

You don't know what you stop in at the gas station and get probably.

[A]

A Red Bull or something you.

[B]

You get used to.

[A]

I had to go before work.

[B]

Gamer subs Take one of those. Take one of those. Those are free samples. You guys can get free samples. Use code Kayla yes, it is good. Listen, once you find the flavor you like, you get this. You mix it in it. Instead of a $5 Red Bull or whatever from a gas station, it is 25 cents a serving. It's like making your Red Bull at home. And it takes taste better. So I don't want to hear it. No more excuses. Link in the Description below for 10 off. By the way.

[A]

Can I take them all then? So I have to write this.

[B]

Endless Red Bulls and tacos of course. And Amazon and Panda Express getting going in some Amazon vending machines, Apple bills, Jack in the Box, Bunny Stop Water Burger, tacos, chicken, chicken, chicken. Amazon right now. McDonald's going in getting some bull vending machine bullshit. Look at this guys. It is four pages of. Five pages of will be negative in a separate checking account as well. Of which I don't even see where the spending is because he didn't even give me those. What a joke. You're a joke. You're a bad person. You. I'm not making a budget for you to save your life. Come join the Post show. Three premium shows every day, Monday through Friday. Click that join button. Including this financial post show that I'm forced to film you. You're a degenerate and I wish for the worst of you. Not really. Kind of maybe a little off.

[A]

Off. It'll eventually get paid one day.

[B]

Call your Mr. Let me see. What the is wrong with you? What is wrong with you? Every single piece of advice that you are giving him is leading him to the hole of destruction and death.

[A]

That's up to him and what he chooses to do. With my words.

[B]

He's a degenerate, disgusting animal.

[A]

No his path is leading him into a. A spiritual journey.

[B]

Caleb, is this your least favorite episode?

[A]

In a minute.

[B]

I'm whole. I was staring at that clock. Hammer Elite is the best YouTube membership on the platform, and I just upgraded it. Three exclusive dedicated shows every single day, Monday through Friday. Join with the link in the pin comment or description below. This is the best membership you'll ever join. That's a promise.