Financial Audit with Caleb Hammer

Episode: "Pathetic Simp Drowning In Debt For Busty Latinas"

Release Date: December 3, 2025
Guest: Logan (21, San Antonio, TX)

Episode Overview

This episode features Logan, a 21-year-old data center tech and part-time zoo worker from San Antonio, who joins Caleb Hammer for a detailed financial intervention. Logan has amassed over $64,000 in debt despite a history of high income, and the conversation rapidly veers between financial confessions, self-deprecating humor, and reflections on how a combination of car mistakes, lavish spending (particularly on romantic partners), and bad habits led him far off the path of financial responsibility. The episode is equal parts financial audit, therapy session, and comedy roast—delivering hard truths amid relentless banter.

Table of Contents

1. Introductions and Jobs
2. Logan’s Income Breakdown
3. How the Debt Started: The Jeep Compass Catastrophe
4. Lifestyle, Spending, and Simp Confessions
5. Relationships & Toxic Cycles
6. Credit Card and Debt Breakdown
7. Spending Habits and Failed Budgets
8. Financial Planning, Solutions, and Prognosis
9. Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
10. Key Timestamps

1. Introductions and Jobs

• Caleb’s first impressions of Logan are laced with jokes about his appearance and energy.
• Logan shares he works full-time as a critical engineering tech at a data center and part-time at the San Antonio Zoo doing injection molding for toys.

“In San Antonio I work at a data center and I also work at a zoo part time.”
   —Logan [02:30]

• Banter ensues about the public perceptions of data centers’ energy and water use.

2. Logan’s Income Breakdown

• Primary Job (Data Center): ~$6,600/month net
• Zoo Side Job: ~$1,000/month stipend + 7.5% of gross sales (averaging an additional $600/month)
• Total Realistic Monthly Income: Around $8,200/month

“That’s what hits your account on a monthly basis if you withdraw, which you should.”
   —Caleb [07:01]

• Caleb presses Logan to actually withdraw the quarterly bonus (money he’s been leaving untouched with his employer).

3. How the Debt Started: The Jeep Compass Catastrophe

• Logan blames his mountain of debt on buying a used Jeep Compass for $21,000 at age 19, after consulting "finance YouTube" (Caleb and Graham Stephan).
• The car required $7,000+ in repairs (including a new engine), is still not fully paid off, and lost significant value.
• Caleb FaceTimes Graham Stephan for a live clarification; Graham denies any recommendation to buy a Jeep Compass.

“It was used. 60,000 miles. I got it in perfect condition... and then it’s been a nightmare.”
   —Logan [08:39]

“I replaced the whole engine in it. It was a nightmare.”
   —Logan [13:41]

• Caleb points out that extensive car issues are "bad luck" but that Logan’s story also reflects poor decision-making (buying a more expensive car than needed, over-repairing, etc.).

4. Lifestyle, Spending, and Simp Confessions

• Logan admits to blowing through around $120,000 earned between high school graduation and now, with only $10-15k in savings at one point.
• Large amounts were spent on lavish dates, girlfriends, travel, tech gadgets, booze, and covering expenses for others.
• He owns two vehicles: the cursed Jeep and an expensive new Ford Ranger ($33k+ loan).

“Women are my demise, bro. Latina baddies are my addiction.”
   —Logan [19:03–19:13]

“I made more in my last job. Actually. Traveling, women, food, women.”
   —Logan [19:47–19:53]

• Spent $17,000 in two months—claims some was on travel and tech, not just "racks" (women).

• He openly labels himself a “simp,” and Caleb roasts him for going into debt “to be a simp.”

“Going into debt to be a simp is a bit... it’s a little pathetic.”
   —Caleb [20:15]

5. Relationships & Toxic Cycles

• Recurring toxic relationship patterns: Logan frequently spends far more than he can afford on girlfriends, who often move in quickly, contribute little financially, and sometimes act destructively (one keyed his car and poured water on his bed).
• Logan confesses he tends to crash and burn after breakups, both emotionally and financially.
• Recent ex-girlfriend exhibited problematic behavior (substance abuse, violent outbursts).

“She keyed your Jeep? ...Because I tipped $4 on a $21 bill and she said I was showing the chick bartender special treatment.”
   —Caleb & Logan [34:14–34:28]

• Admits to being blocked by exes on social media and having poor family ties: “They’re just people I grew up with.”

6. Credit Card and Debt Breakdown

• Current Debt: ~$66,000 (Logan thought $64k; Caleb corrects him)

  • Jeep Compass: ~$13,700 at 8% APR
  • Ford Ranger: ~$33,700 at 9% APR (worth only ~$28k—he's underwater)
  • Multiple credit cards, all near-maxed and at high interest rates (9-30%)
    • AT&T – $5,003 (engine emergency repair)
    • Citi Double Cash – $3,288
    • PayPal Credit – $2,364
    • Apple Card – just under $2,000 (maxed out after credit limit decrease)
    • Chase Freedom – $1,448
    • Others (Amazon, Savor, etc.) totaling thousands more

• Interest Paid Annually: $6,000+ projected

• Minimum Monthly Debt Payments: $1,524.79

“That one is probably gonna… that’s a rough one.”
   —Logan on his highest credit card [49:51]

• He's using the snowball method but has made little visible progress so far; all cards essentially at minimum payments.

7. Spending Habits and Failed Budgets

• Repeated overdrafts: Checking account started at -$394; Logan admits to insufficient tracking and budgeting, frequent cash flow problems, and not maximizing his income for debt paydown.
• Food: Eats out constantly (Chipotle, Red Bull stops, fast food), spends over $1,000/month on dining even while struggling.
• Subscriptions: Pays for unnecessary streaming (Peacock, Crunchyroll), OnlyFans subscriptions (admitting to being “scammed”—no calculus nudes).
• “Crashing out” refers to spending sprees during periods of depression or after breakups.

“Red Bull, Chipotle, Red Bull, Chick Fil A...We could be paying down all our debt. By the way, you said, oh, I'm making snowball. There is no more than a minimum payment on any of these.”
   —Caleb [83:18]

• His emergency fund is just $1,000 and was recently loaned to a friend in need.

8. Financial Planning, Solutions, and Prognosis

• Caleb maps out a strict budget, allowing $1,900/mo for San Antonio rent, $330 for insurance, $300 for groceries, and $250 for “fun.”
• Advises Logan to sell the Jeep after $500 in final repairs, cut his lifestyle, and not attempt entrepreneurship or quit side jobs until fully debt-free with an emergency fund.
• Suggests Logan is still susceptible to falling back into old patterns (“You will fall back in...I don’t believe you’re going to change your lifestyle for a better”).

“If you actually follow this budget... you’ll be debt free in a year and a quarter, year and a half.”
   —Caleb [90:58]

• Stresses:
  • Logan must stop treating financial advice like a buffet
  • No more major gifts, no quitting side hustles
  • Focus all extra cash on paying down debt
  • Seek accountability, avoid relationship/“simp” relapse
  • Only contribute to retirement up to employer match

Hammer Financial Score

• Spending: 2/10
• Debt: 2/10
• Emergency Fund: 1/10
• Retirement: 3/10
• Real Estate: 0/10
  Overall: 2/10

9. Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Jeep Disaster:

  • “Jeep compass...has pretty much financially ruined me over the last years.” —Logan [08:18]
  • “Why would you do that? Was that even worth it? ...Would I necessarily recommend replacing an entire engine?” —Caleb [13:51]

• On Relationships & Simping:

  • “Women are my demise, bro. Latina baddies are my addiction.” —Logan [19:03]
  • “Going into debt to be a simp is a bit... it’s a little pathetic.” —Caleb [20:15]
  • “She keyed your Jeep? ...Because I tipped $4 on a $21 bill...” —[34:14–34:28]

• On Toxic Patterns:

  • “It’s a little scary...every person you’ve had an interaction with in like, a more close relationship, family and girlfriends, everything ends up in crash out blocks.” —Caleb [39:08]

• On Missed Opportunity:

  • “If you had all that money still and you didn’t blow it all on women, booze, friends…You lost out on $4 million.” —Caleb [25:34; 27:28]

• On Credit Card Use:

  • “That one I originally got out for the flights going back/forth to Vegas…for my girl.” —Logan [58:53]
  • “You’re paying for the ol’. Did you cancel your sub?” —Caleb [63:46]

• On OnlyFans:

  • “She was working integral, right? But in like a slutty dress. ...If you want to see me do this but naked, go...I was straight up scammed, bro.” —Logan [60:21]

• On Doubt for the Future:

  • “I don’t believe you’re going to change your lifestyle for a better.” —Caleb [72:59]

10. Key Timestamps

| Timestamp | Segment/Highlight | |------------|-------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:35 | Logan introduces himself; employment & side jobs discussion | | 03:45 | Monthly income breakdown | | 08:07 | Debt origins; the Jeep Compass mistake | | 10:14 | FaceTime with Graham Stephan about car advice | | 16:47 | Total debt acknowledged ($66k), breakdown starts | | 19:00 | Logan admits to spending sprees for women (“Latina baddies...”) | | 20:15 | Simp confessions; "going into debt to be a simp” | | 34:14 | “She keyed your Jeep”/crazy ex stories | | 39:08 | Relationship & family pattern warning—“everyone ends up crash out” | | 49:02 | Reviewing credit cards; debt avalanche & snowball discussion | | 60:21 | OnlyFans disappointment (“calculus, no nudes”) | | 72:59 | Caleb doubts Logan’s will to change (“I don’t believe...”) | | 83:18 | Checking account & spending breakdown; no actual progress in repayments | | 90:58 | Debt payoff plan: one and a half years if strict budget followed | | 92:41 | Hammer Financial Score: 2/10, reasons cited |

Tone and Notable Themes

• Raw and irreverent: The episode is filled with explicit, self-deprecating humor, and frequent banter about dating, simping, and "Latina baddies."
• Financially tough love: Caleb uses a mix of jokes and blunt honesty to challenge Logan’s excuses and rationalizations.
• Generational reality: The discussion captures the struggles of a young adult with high earning potential but little discipline; plenty of money was wasted on fleeting pleasures, bad relationships, and impulsive purchases.
• Self-awareness, not self-control: Logan is unusually aware of his own pitfalls but lacks the demonstrated discipline to change.

In Summary

Logan arrives as the "pathetic simp drowning in debt," but despite the ceaseless jokes, he’s a cautionary tale of what can happen when high income meets poor boundaries, impulse spending, and unresolved emotional logic. Caleb’s blunt guidance lays out a realistic debt-free timeline—if Logan can avoid falling for the next Latina “baddie.”

Score: 2/10.
Prescription: Extreme budget discipline, purge the credit cards, no new relationships until financial stability, and focus income ruthlessly on debt—while resisting the gravitational pull of bad habits and simping.

For the full episode’s juiciest moments—or to see if Logan actually follows through—subscribe to Caleb Hammer’s YouTube or join Hammer Elite for post-show girlfriend text readings.