Podcast Summary: Financial Audit – "Scumbag Husband Destroys Marriage With Secret Debt"

Host: Caleb Hammer
Guests: Ruby & Boudreaux (26, Baton Rouge, LA)
Date: July 28, 2025

Overview

This episode features Ruby and Boudreaux, a young, unmarried couple from Baton Rouge, Louisiana, struggling with overwhelming consumer debt and dysfunctional financial habits. The discussion dives into their chaotic spending patterns, secret debts, troubled communication, and the impact of these choices on their lives and children. Caleb delivers his signature blend of directness, humor, and tough love, guiding the couple through their detailed finances and illuminating where things have gone wrong—and just how deep the problems run.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Background & Relationship Dynamics

• Ruby: ABA line technician, works with children (makes $15/hr, ~30 hrs/week).
• Boudreaux: Local truck driver (makes $25/hr, 60-65 hrs/week), heavy overtime.
• Together since 2018, two young kids (6-year-old daughter, 4-year-old son), but not married—citing finances as the primary reason.
• Notable Dynamic: Both enable and blame each other for financial issues, but lack transparency and true financial partnership.

2. Income and Monthly Flow

• Combined household income: ~$5,500/month.
• Ruby: $1,200/month take-home (after insurance and new 401k contribution).
• Boudreaux: $4,300/month (with overtime and deductions).
• Despite working, the couple is constantly behind and cannot get ahead on bills or savings.

3. Chaotic Spending & Lack of Budget

• Fast Food and Eating Out: Almost 40% of income goes to eating out ($2,067/month).
  • “That’s more [than] people are supposed to do for the roof over their head. What lifestyle are we living?” – Caleb (09:22)
• Binge behavior: Boudreaux admits to binge eating, spending $20+ each time, even when bringing lunch. Ruby also admits to frequent convenience store and DoorDash purchases.
• Excuses for Overspending: Both rationalize food spending due to "lack of groceries at home" or stress.
• Poor Tracking: Only occasional financial discussions (“maybe once a month”), manual tracking, no real budget accounting for true household needs.
• Mutual Enabling: Both accuse each other of being the "problem spender," but continue to enable and justify each other's spending.

4. Credit Card & Loan Mayhem

• Staggering Bad Debt: $42,291.97 in consumer (bad) debt—spread across credit cards, personal loans, and store accounts.
• High Interest, Maxed-Out Accounts: Many cards maxed, interest rates upwards of 30%. Hundreds to thousands lost in interest and fees each year.
• Examples of Questionable Debts/Spending:
  • $4,000+ gaming PC (Caleb: “You said let’s get a 32% interest gaming PC” 23:41)
  • Multiple credit cards opened for “rewards”, “spending flexibility”, or in retaliation after fights about money.
  • Separate Sofi accounts for both, not fully transparent.
  • Secret debt: Boudreaux’s “Apple Card” racked up over $2,000 on “spicy material” (i.e., pornography and online subscriptions)—a bombshell that led to marital trust issues and is discussed further in the paid post-show.
  • Motorcycle bought on credit as a “commuting solution” but now idle (“I haven’t ridden it in two years” – Boudreaux).
  • Tiny house/shed loan ($11,000+ at 25% interest) for “cheap living,” but never finished or utilized.
  • D&D (Dungeons & Dragons) and hobby spending justified as “family time” or “for the kids,” but clearly out of proportion given their financial state.

5. Emergency Fund & Safety Net

• No Emergency Fund: Previous $2,000 fund was wiped out (car accidents, rental cars, etc.) and never rebuilt.
• $0.01 in Savings: All savings either depleted or invested in volatile accounts (not true safety nets).
• Boudreaux attempts to justify lack of cash by claiming $1,200 in investments (not liquid), while ignoring real budgeting needs.

6. Financial and Physical Health Consequences

• Obesity & Medical Issues:
  • Boudreaux consumes 4,300+ calories/day; BMI is 48.4 (morbidly obese); struggles with binge eating attributed to work stress.
  • 6-year-old daughter is “above average” weight and height; Caleb notes the unhealthy family diet.
  • “You want to be there for your kids, [but] you’re not healthy. They’re eating what you eat.” – Caleb (52:20, paraphrased)
• No Health Solutions in Place: No gym, limited plans to address health, further complicated by financial strain.

7. Transparency, Secrecy & Trust Breakdown

• Secret Spending:
  • Several accounts hidden or inaccessible to the partner.
  • Boudreaux’s “spicy material” spending was undisclosed; Ruby discovered it through strange charges.
• Retaliatory Financial Moves:
  • Ruby admits to opening a credit card after a fight, using it “for things I needed” (which quickly lapsed into more dining out and non-essentials).
  • Both accuse each other of lying or omission when it comes to money.
• No Real Partnership: Financial decisions and spending are siloed, not discussed in detail, and often hidden from the other.

8. Attempts at Solutions and Host Advice

• Debt Paydown Attempts: Tax returns occasionally used to pay off cards, but habits resume and balances creep back up.
• Boudreaux’s 401k Loan:
  • Used to “pay off” high interest debt, but effectively just moved balances around.
  • Caleb: “You never actually made progress. You’re just taking out debt to cover debt.” (26:01)
• Budgeting Efforts: Sporadic, incomplete, and not grounded in reality—necessities often left out.
• Suggested Solutions:
  • Host suggests they stop using credit entirely, drastically cut all non-essential spending, and work on honest, regular communication.
  • Caleb floats bankruptcy as a real possibility: “This might be a bankruptcy situation, but you need to prove you’ve changed your behavior.”
• Behavior Change is Key:
  • “If you don’t, I’ll see you here in two years again, because you’ll be right back where you are.” – Caleb (84:52)
• 3-Month Challenge: Caleb offers a follow-up opportunity if they can demonstrate discipline for 3 months.

9. Hammer Financial Score & Final Thoughts

• Score: 1 out of 10
  • Spending/budget: 2/10 (ignoring real needs, excessive fast food)
  • Debt: 1/10 (no collections or IRS, but overwhelming CC debt)
  • Emergency Fund: 0/10
  • Retirement: 2/10 (Boudreaux has ~$17k, Ruby almost none)
  • Real Estate: 0/10
• Financial Cliff: They are essentially underwater every month, even with heavy overtime. No viable financial plan currently in place.

Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• On Spending 40% of Income on Fast Food:
  “Are you doing—that’s insane.” – Caleb (09:15)

• On Enabling Each Other’s Bad Habits:
  “You blame each other for everything yet you allow each other to do everything. Make that make sense.” – Caleb (23:58)

• On Secret Credit Card for Spicy Subscription:
  “Let’s just say the vast majority of this balance is through spicy material…” – Caleb (44:12)

• Boudreaux’s Confession about Gambling:
  “You opened this credit card to go on a gambling trip? Oh yeah, in Mississippi.” – Caleb (28:06)

• On Poor Financial Partnership:
  “You guys are bad influences on each other. Do you blame each other?” – Caleb (68:41)

• On the Unused Motorcycle:
  “Sell that.” – Caleb (63:25)
  “You put a down payment on a credit card for a motorcycle?” – Caleb (63:17)

• On Health and Diet:
  “You are not healthy…You guys want to be there for your kids. You want to have energy for your kids—not so your kid is eating what you’re eating.” – Caleb (52:20)

• On the Tiny House/Shed Loan:
  “A shed—hoping to turn it into like a tiny home.” – Boudreaux (71:56)
  “Oh, guys. What the f*** are you doing? What are you talking about?” – Caleb (72:00)

• Grand Total Debt:
  “$42,291.97 on bad debt. Not a single thing good there.” – Caleb (77:34)

• Summing Up Their Situation:
  “You don’t have an emergency fund, you don’t own your cars, you have kids, but you’re going out to eat like crazy…that is deeply unacceptable, is it not?” – Caleb (49:47)

• Bottom Line:
  “This might be a bankruptcy situation…but you need to prove you changed your behavior before you do it.” – Caleb (84:39)

Key Segment Timestamps

• 00:50 – Ruby and Boudreaux introduce themselves
• 01:11 – Career and income details
• 02:44 – Kids and family logistics
• 06:09 – Why aren’t they married? Financial strain
• 09:00 – Fast food/restaurant spending (27.7%, $2,000+/mo)
• 13:55 – Arguments over budgeting, bills, and secret spending
• 20:40 – Affordability of “paying off” debt via 401k loan
• 23:41 – Gaming PC debt, buying expensive electronics
• 28:01 – Secret gambling trip via a new credit card
• 44:12 – “Spicy material” debt revealed, privacy issues
• 53:31 – Health consequences of binge eating and poor diet
• 61:27 – Amazon card maxed out for “deals”, now a burden
• 71:46 – Shed loan (“tiny home”) that was never finished
• 74:56 – Motorcycle debt—unused, can’t sell without a loss
• 77:34 – Grand total debt and reflection
• 84:09 – Host’s bankruptcy warning and 3-month challenge

Memorable Moments

• Host’s Sarcasm and Unfiltered Honesty:
  “You need to sell your 3D printer. Sell it. Why do you have the 3D printer? Sell it.” – Caleb (58:22)
• Boudreaux's "Professional Gooner" Lifestyle:
  Outed for spending thousands online for “spicy” content using the Apple Card, discussed more in the post-show.
• The Couple’s Rationalizations:
  Multiple justifications for each poor financial choice, ranging from "it was a good deal" to "we needed glasses" or "for the kids."
• Caleb’s Repeated Exasperation:
  “This is you, you, you, you, you over and over again. Maybe it is you.” – Caleb (67:27)

Tone & Delivery

• The discussion is blunt, at times harsh, but consistently focused on financial reality.
• Host uses humor and tough love to jolt the guests out of denial.
• Ruby and Boudreaux vacillate between defensiveness, rationalization, and sheepish admissions.

Final Word

This episode is a raw exposé on the dangers of unbridled spending, secrecy, mutual enabling, and the compounding effect of avoiding hard conversations about money—especially with kids involved. Caleb’s diagnosis is grim: without radical behavioral change, bankruptcy (again) is likely. In the meantime, unhealthy diet, lack of partnership, and stress continue to erode whatever financial future the couple—and their children—might have.

Essential Takeaway: If you don’t fix the habits and the communication, no amount of income or credit can save you.