Financial Audit Podcast Episode Summary

Episode Title: She'd Rather Cheat Than Grow Up | Financial Audit
Host: Caleb Hammer
Guest: Mia, 26, Dallas, Texas
Date: August 5, 2024

Main Theme & Purpose

In this candid episode, Caleb Hammer conducts a financial audit for Mia, a 26-year-old from Dallas who is struggling with debt, unstable employment, and significant relationship turbulence. The conversation peels back the layers of Mia's personal and financial life, exposing cycles of poor money management, codependency, and avoidance behavior. The episode’s goal is to confront hard truths about debt, accountability, and what it really takes to grow up financially and emotionally.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Living & Relationship Situation

• Timestamp 00:04–15:00
  • Mia currently lives with her boyfriend, who pays rent while she covers utilities. The relationship is described as “fizzling out.”
  • The personal dynamic has a power imbalance: the boyfriend often reminds Mia that he can kick her out because he is the primary leaseholder.

    "He kind of holds it over my head that he can [kick me out whenever]." – Mia (11:02)

  • Open conversations have taken place about ending things, and Mia expects she will be the one to move out.

2. Work History & Income Challenges

• Timestamp 00:31–06:22
  • Mia is starting a new job as a property manager at a public storage facility, earning $15/hour for 40 hours/week (~$31,200/year).
  • Previously worked at a garden for $16.43/hr, where she was fired after initiating HR complaints about workplace safety and comfort.

    “I slipped and fell in a concrete room... I was on crutches for a month and had to go to therapy.” – Mia (01:50)

  • Has a substitute teaching job during the school year, which is unpredictable.
  • Past job loss includes being fired from GameStop after a bizarre incident involving a robbery where she opened a safe.

3. Debt Accumulation & Spending Habits

• Timestamp 06:23–22:00; 35:03–72:00
  • Mia's credit cards are maxed out; she carries over $28,000 in debt, including about $15,000 in student loans.
  • Admits to spending well beyond means, including on discretionary items (e.g. Funko Pop collection, Ulta purchases, recurring gaming expenses).

    "You're a victim to your own spending habits and lack of discipline and lack of maturity and lack of just growing up." – Caleb (41:17)

  • Many questionable purchases: Ulta, JCPenney, credit cards used for birthday gifts for online friend group, DoorDash, games, subscriptions (Spotify, DoorDash Premium, Snapchat streaks).

    "I try not to look at [my accounts]... looking at it plummets the mood." – Mia (50:26)

  • Substantial amounts also paid for pet emergencies (her dog), with retroactive realization she should have kept pet insurance.
  • Mia's family is reluctant to help her with housing, due to space and underlying disconnection.

4. Financial Avoidance & Emotional Barriers

• Timestamp 29:07–62:00
  • Mia admits to “ostriching”—avoiding looking at bank statements or budgets because it's emotionally distressing.

    "I try not to look at it. It plummets the mood." – Mia (50:26) "Ostrich head in the sand is not the way to get through life..." – Caleb (50:56)

  • Host Caleb is blunt, pressing the need for personal accountability, regardless of emotional discomfort.

    "Finances are not vibe-based." – Caleb (62:12)

  • Multiple family dynamics are touched upon: her boyfriend is closer to her siblings than she is, and she feels unsupported.

5. Accountability, Victimhood & Real Change

• Timestamp 38:40–62:00
  • Repeated interventions from Caleb about Mia’s tendency to frame herself as a perpetual victim, which inhibits progress.

    "If we're always a victim, then we will always be a victim." – Caleb (40:07)

  • Mia expresses vague desire to change, but struggles to articulate concrete plans or take steps for delayed gratification.

    "Maybe I won't get Starbucks..." – Mia (59:43) "That's not a plan." – Caleb (60:03)

  • Caleb details a blunt path forward: prioritize paying off debt, cancel non-essential subscriptions, limit food expenses, get second job, and only reward progress toward goals.

6. Budget Audit/Action Steps

• Timestamp 64:00–73:00
  • Mia’s total debt: ~$28,000 ($15K of which is student loans at 4% interest).
  • Minimum payments on debts are about $390/month; utilities ~$270/month; insurance ~$182/month; groceries ~$500/month.
  • Budget math shows with current rent arrangement and new job, Mia should have ~$700/month slack—but only if she slashes discretionary spending.
  • Discussion about moving back with family or grinding multiple jobs for a year to stabilize; emotionally difficult but feasible.

    "If you get a fully-funded emergency fund grind and pay off that JCPenney card, yes, I will allow [an in-person trip with friends]." – Caleb (72:28) "This is going to be a sacrifice. Set goals on the way." – Caleb (71:11)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Power Dynamics:

  "The inherent existence of a power dynamic is not necessarily the bad thing. It's the abuse of it."
  – Caleb (12:04)

• On Avoidance:

  "Ostrich head in the sand is not the way to get through life because eventually this gets so bad where you're going to be put in a position that you cannot get out of other than Bankruptcy."
  – Caleb (50:56)

• On Self-Inflicted Problems:

  "You're a victim to your own spending habits and lack of discipline and lack of maturity and lack of just growing up."
  – Caleb (41:17)

• On Change:

  "If the true answer to that is maybe I won’t get Starbucks, that’s not a plan. And we’re done. We’re done."
  – Caleb (60:03)

Timestamps & Structure

• 00:00–15:00 — Mia’s background, relationship woes, living situation
• 00:31–06:22 — Job changes, being fired, employment instability
• 06:23–22:00 — Debt origin story, cycles of bad spending, dependence on others
• 29:07–32:36 — Power dynamics, family relationship, boyfriend closeness to her family
• 35:03–50:56 — Detailed financial review of accounts, subscriptions, wasteful purchases
• 50:26–62:00 — Avoidance behaviors, emotional struggle to face financial reality
• 62:00–73:00 — Building a realistic budget, planning for change, setting conditions for rewards

In the Original Tone & Language

The episode is an unvarnished, sometimes harsh but ultimately supportive look at how young adults—especially those caught in codependent or manipulative relationships—can wind up stuck in cycles of debt and emotional avoidance. Caleb's tone is direct to the point of bluntness, challenging Mia to take ownership, while Mia vacillates between self-awareness and defeat.

For Listeners Who Missed the Show

This episode lays bare the intersection between personal dynamics and financial irresponsibility. If you’ve ever wondered what happens when someone’s “financial rock bottom” collides with a failing romantic relationship, this conversation is a real-time case study—complete with the messy, sometimes embarrassing details. You’ll leave understanding exactly how habitual avoidance and small indulgences can snowball, and why “maybe I’ll try harder” isn’t enough.

Hammer Financial Score: 0.5 out of 10

For the full, unfiltered post-show drama—including discussions about Mia’s more “colorful” purchases—check out the exclusive member’s content.