The $770,000 Boob Job | Financial Audit

Summary

---

Financial Audit with Caleb Hammer

Episode: "The $770,000 Boob Job"

Guest: Veronica, 37, Austin, TX
Date: January 23, 2026

---

Episode Overview

This episode follows Veronica, a high-earning tech professional and Airbnb manager in Austin, Texas, who reveals how she has accumulated over $770,000 in debt, much of it due to overspending—including on plastic surgery. Host Caleb Hammer dissects her finances, highlighting disastrous money decisions, unchecked ambition, and a disconnect between earnings and financial security. The episode unfolds as a cautionary (and darkly comic) tale of failing upward, lifestyle inflation, and the perils of girlboss culture in personal finance.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Veronica’s Income and Occupation

• Tech Job: Program Manager at Airbnb, bringing in $3,300/week after tax ($171,600/year net; est. $225K+ gross).
• Side Hustle: Airbnb “co-host” (short-term rental property manager for others), $1,200–$1,500/month extra.
• Former Realtor and Micro Influencer: Ran a short-term rental Facebook group (~1,200 members); hosted real estate talks.

Quote (03:32):

A: "You're coming on Financial Audit… your income has gone substantially up, yet you have nothing to show for it other than a paperwork stack of death."

2. The House That Broke Her

• Home Purchase: Bought a $635K house in Austin near the airport, now worth ~$600K.
• 5% Down: Put only $30K down, resulting in high monthly mortgage ($5,332).
• Mortgaged for a Failed Relationship: Bought the home partly to advance a relationship—her boyfriend left at closing.
• Airbnb Conversion: Exited her house to rent it as an Airbnb (brings in $5,000/month), but operating costs (utilities, cleaning, maintenance) push total to ~$7,500/month, losing at least $2,500 monthly before factoring in her $840 rent for her own apartment.

Quote (11:52):

B: "$5,332 [mortgage]… but it's all a lie. It costs more than that… I'm literally underwater. Every month it's at least $7,000 to run it."

Quote (17:29):

A: "You actually can. You can easily afford this house. You just say you can't."

3. Lifestyle Inflation and Consumer Choices

• Emergency Fund Squandered: Blew a $100K emergency fund on living costs, travel, and cosmetic surgery after a layoff.
• Plastic Surgery:
  • Breast Augmentation: $14,000 (financed at 17% interest; owes $6,000 still)
  • BBL & Etched Abs in Colombia: $2,000
  • Failed Lipo Trip to Turkey: Spent $5,000 on a hotel for friend’s surgery
• Amazon, Travel, & Luxury Splurges: 150 Amazon purchases in three months, $300+ toothbrushes, new iPhone, expensive car (2018 Mercedes Convertible).

Quote (41:13):

A: "$14,000 for titties?"
B: "They were natural. Premium price for premiums."
A: "They're not natural. They're fake."

4. Escalating Debt Situation

• Total Debt: $770,263.12
  • Mortgage: ~$600K balance, $23K delinquent
  • Student Loans (MBA): $118K, past due
  • Car Loan: $26.5K
  • Credit Cards: $10K–$15K over several cards; default/late fees ongoing
  • Medical Financing (“PatientFi” for surgery): $6K
  • Utilities in Arrears: Owes over $2,700 to Austin Energy

Quote (74:43):

A: "Your life experience has lost it to $770,263.12 of debt."

5. Delusion vs. Reality: Business and Financial Choices

• Entrepreneurial Failures:
  • Sandal Company: Burned $150–$200K (parent- and student-loan funded)
  • Fitness App: Raised $40,000, never succeeded
  • Multiple failed “side hustles” and attempts at real estate dominance
• Refusal to Accept Hard Choices: Staunchly refuses to sell the house or her car, despite recommendations and negative cash flow.

Quote (84:34):

A: "Why are we having this conversation if you're not willing to make any sacrifices? ...You are a literal walking disaster."

6. Attempts at Justification and Denial

• Rationalizes overspending as pursuit of “life experience.”
• Hints at waiting for a citywide Airbnb licensing shake-up that she believes will improve her property’s prospects.
• Repeatedly returns to “but at least I tried…” as defense for repeated financial blunders.

Quote (79:14):

A: "The experience would be worth it if you weren’t replicating it today. But you are."

7. The Social and Relationship Context

• Relationship decisions tightly linked to major financial decisions (e.g., house purchase to “move relationship along”).
• Romanticizes (and re-engages in) relationship with a partner who contributed little financially—mirroring her financial habits.
• Equates dating dynamics with financial transactions (“If you’re going to have access to me, you buy my dinner”—31:02).

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Opening Exasperation (00:00–00:31)

• A: "You blew your emergency fund on all this fake bodily shit. And now you can't pay your mortgage and you're four months behind."

On Why She’s Broke (03:50)

• A: "You're making like 225 [net]. You have to subsidize yourself. Why are you so broken?"
• B: "I don't. I mean, that's what I'm here for."

House as Relationship Catalyst (16:08)

• A: "Move what? The relationship. I don't understand how buying that — like you guys weren't married."

Plastic Surgery Reveal (41:09)

• A: "So, the tits. How much were the tits?"
• B: "14-ish."
• A: "Thousand? For titties?"
• B: "Premium price for premium."
• A: "They're not even on display. What's the point of even purchasing?" (54:38)

Delusional Entrepreneurship (76:19)

• B: "Three failed companies — but at least I tried."
• A: "You tried. Okay, and what was the third company?"

Final Assessment (90:44)

• A: "There is no point of me continuing this conversation or doing anything, okay? Because you're just done. You have no hope. You're a failure. You disgust me as a human being. I hope you do better. Good the luck."

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

| Timestamp | Segment | |------------|------------------------------------------------------------| | 00:06–02:24 | Introduction; Veronica's career(s) and house explanation | | 03:32–05:13 | Austin & tech real estate market discussion | | 11:52–12:41 | Mortgage, living costs, and cash flow | | 17:29–18:24 | “You can easily afford this house. You just say you can’t”| | 41:09–42:00 | Plastic surgery breakdown — costs, choices, justifications| | 74:43–75:19 | "$770,263.12 of debt" calculation — summary of liabilities| | 76:19–78:59 | Entrepreneurial failures — “but at least I tried” | | 84:34–85:53 | Host loses patience — refusal to sell car or house | | 90:44–92:07 | Host’s closing frustration, financial disgust |

---

Tone & Language

• Blunt, irreverent, and caustic: Caleb skewers Veronica’s decisions with biting commentary, relentless candor, and incredulous humor.
• Self-deprecating laughter: Veronica veers between giggles, defensiveness, and denial.
• High entertainment, high alarm: Both guest and host play off the absurdity of the situation, with recurring jokes about “fake tits,” failed business ventures, and “girl bossing too close to the sun.”
• Underlying seriousness: The staggering disconnect between income and spending serves as a dire warning about lifestyle inflation and unchecked ambition.

---

Summary Takeaways

• High Income ≠ Financial Stability: Veronica’s substantial earnings are dwarfed by her debt and spending.
• Lifestyle Inflation Is Real: Aspirational purchases (house, luxury car, plastic surgery) dig the financial hole deeper, reinforcing an unsustainable cycle.
• Experience is NOT a Substitute for Learning: Veronica’s “at least I tried” attitude masks a refusal to learn from past failures.
• No Budget, No Plan: Despite advanced degrees (including an MBA), Veronica still cannot or will not budget—defaulting instead to financial denial.
• Harsh but Honest: Caleb’s aggressive style drives home the truth: without hard choices, Veronica is heading for disaster.

---

Useful for Listeners

• Gives an unfiltered look at how self-sabotage, consumer culture, and unexamined ambition can evaporate even a massive income.
• Demonstrates the harsh realities of real estate speculation, the gig economy, and “side hustle” culture.
• Exemplifies the need for hard decisions and financial literacy—no matter your salary or educational pedigree.

---

End of Summary
(For details on reviewed financial statements, asset breakdowns, and further commentary, check the full episode and post-show on YouTube.)

Transcript

[A]

To watch episodes of Financial Audit a week earlier. Check us out on YouTube. You blew your emergency fund on plastic surgery.

[B]

I was.

[A]

When I was your emergency fund on all this fake bodily shit. And now you can't pay your mortgage and you're four months behind.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Your Airbnb is literally losing money and you want to get more. Airbnb?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

How does that logic make sense? Please.

[B]

It just does. I've studied.

[A]

No, it doesn't.

[B]

Tell me it's all going to work out.

[A]

What is one thing you've done?

[B]

Well, try.

[A]

No, you're trying has been horrible. You have failed everything you've tried.

[B]

But at least I did it.

[A]

No, you haven't. You're failing.

[B]

I don't give a. At least I have that life experience.

[A]

Hammer Elite is the best YouTube membership on the platform, and I just upgraded it. Get access to exclusive shows every single day, Monday through Saturday, and for the rest of the month, I am paying for you to sign up. Sign up for Hammer Elite in the description or PIN comment below and submit proof of purchase@hammer elite.com after that, I'll send you a $10 digital gift card that can be spent basically anywhere and in most countries. This is the best membership you'll ever join. That's a promise.

[B]

Hi, everyone. I'm Veronica. I'm 37 and I live in Austin, Texas.

[A]

And this.

[B]

This is the financial audit.

[A]

The. It sure is. And I appreciate you coming into the studio. It's rare that we get a little Austinite these days because we pull in from across the country. So I kind of, you know, obviously know the economic situation of this city better than any other city, for sure. What do you do here for a living?

[B]

I work in tech and then I'm also a co host. Yeah.

[A]

Co host of a podcast.

[B]

No, Airbnb.

[A]

Co host.

[B]

Yeah. Co host. Says a co. Own. Co host. It's a term that Airbnb uses.

[A]

Okay, but in real terms. That real people use. What's a co host? An owner of a house that.

[B]

No, you. You manage other people's homes for Airbnb.

[A]

Okay, so you manage other people's homes. So people buy a house, they want to rent those houses on the short term market.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

And they hired you to do that?

[B]

They did. They did.

[A]

You're essentially a rental property manager, but on the short term. Leasing.

[B]

Yep. You got it.

[A]

That makes sense. Okay, tech. What do you do in tech?

[B]

I work for Airbnb at the moment.

[A]

Well, okay. Well, that makes sense. I guess you're kind of fully in that niche. What's your position?

[B]

I'm a program manager.

[A]

Cool. What do you make?

[B]

What do I make? I bring in 3,300 a week.

[A]

Oh, okay. Thank.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And please tell me that's not.

[B]

Yeah, that's like take home in.

[A]

That's not. Okay. A week. That's wonderful. I was very scared when I heard that number. I thought you're going to say a month. Listen, Austin's a great place for tech. Tech is slowed down in the country, so I would always be a little nervous. Especially honestly, Airbnb would even make me more nervous in general cuz I don't think their stock's been doing too well. I'll have to confirm that. Put it on screen. But not only that, but if there is an economic downturn, I don't know if we'll go into full downturn, but we're definitely in a slowdown for sure. People cut back on travel. That is often shortterm living. Cuz you know, people still got to live in rentals but not short term rentals, so. Oh, there. Plus tech layoffs, plus potential automation with AI. We're seeing. We're not necessarily seeing the extremes of that that many people are hyping up more than anything. We're just seeing a tech slowdown and readjustment and an overall correction in the labor market from the over hiring we saw in the best employment market in the history of the United States a few years ago. I'd be a little nervous in your position.

[B]

That's fair.

[A]

I wouldn't be afraid. But I would be preparing for the overall trend that we are seeing. And especially if you're doubling up with the. Oh, that's not the best market for short term rentals. And oh, we're also in tech where it's not the best market for tech. Good. Oh yeah, I'd be a little nervous.

[B]

Fair.

[A]

Yeah. In the past month alone, Airbnb at the time of this filming is down 10%. The stock down 10% one month. 10%. That's actually crazy. Hold on. Hold the can. Hold the wait. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[B]

I gotta hold it.

[A]

Okay, well I don't want you to.

[B]

Hold it while you look that up. Okay.

[A]

Okay. Yeah, the s and P500 is down 1.3%. Last month it's down 10%. What the. Let's see. Year to date, down 12.8% max. Not a great trend line. I'll just say that says publicly listed down 18%. Okay, listen, I don't want you to be afraid, but Listen, you're coming on financial audit.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

When you're coming on financial audit, usually your finances are somehow. Your finances are when you're bringing in a ton of money in a city where the cost of living has actually gone down. Because we have policies that encourage bills building instead of performative virtue signaling policies like rent control. That doesn't work. So we have one of the rare cities in the country where costs have gone down, your income has gone substantially up, yet you have nothing to show for it other than a paperwork stack of death. And you. When you are probably in one of the most risky tech positions out of almost anyone. Come on, where else? Where else? Okay, maybe like Match Group.

[B]

Yeah, fair. But like, because those can't take a.

[A]

PGM job, I do highly doubt it. It probably would take my job in 10 years. Who knows who even.

[B]

That's why I need your help right now.

[A]

But I'm not. I'm not even talking about AI. The fear of AI replacing jobs right now is over amplified because we're seeing the rise of AI at the same time. When the job market is over is probably correcting for the over iron we saw a few years ago in tech. So I'm not. I'm not even saying AI.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I'm saying the tech job market is. And you're in an industry that is also. That's what I'm afraid of.

[B]

Okay, Can I speak on the Austin market specifically or. No. Like what everyone's hanging on to. Yeah, like what we're hanging on to is that there's going to be a licensing change in July. So basically there's 13, 000 plus unlicensed Airbnbs and Austin.

[A]

This is for your second job.

[B]

Yeah. Well, it all kind of plays together, right?

[A]

Like to a certain extent, I don't think the Austin market itself will save the entire company of Airbnb.

[B]

But yeah, for the second job, Right. For how I subsidize my life. And so there's.

[A]

How did you. Why in the world would you need to be subsidizing, making 150, 000 a year. Need to subsidize on top of that. Yeah, you make Good. What was it, 3200 net a week?

[B]

3300.

[A]

3000. Okay. 3, 300 times 52. Okay. That is net. $171,600 a year. That is net. $14,300. So what do you make? You're making like 225.

[B]

Yeah. Right.

[A]

You have to subsidize yourself. Why are you so Broken.

[B]

I don't. I mean, that's what I'm here for.

[A]

Yeah, it's what you're here for.

[B]

I need.

[A]

Why do you think you're broken? Because there needs to be some level of self assessment here for me to kind of understand where at least you think. Because then I. I can't help someone I don't know where their brains at. So why do you think you're.

[B]

Well, currently the house is too expensive.

[A]

What?

[B]

My house?

[A]

You have. Okay, so this isn't the co. Whatever.

[B]

Thing is the house that I own?

[A]

Okay, you own your house?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Why'd you buy a house to live in that you can't afford?

[B]

Tell me about it.

[A]

No. How about you tell me the answer?

[B]

Well, it was kind of twofold. If we were talking on the career side, I was like a. And a short term rental, like influencer here. Right. So I would educate people on how to own short term rentals. So that was the first.

[A]

How many followers did you have?

[B]

We had a group of over 1200. It was. It was a. A person and I who ran it together and I would give monthly talks about how successful STRs could be, and so I had to do it on my own.

[A]

And how many followers did you have, influencer?

[B]

There was. There was 1200 in the group. It's a Facebook group, so probably active out of that 500, but we would pull a crowd of a hundred once a month. I think that's pretty great. I was a realtor. That's great. No, okay, fair. But I was a realtor.

[A]

Sorry, I'm not going to shit on you, but I'm not going to allow you. Let you sit there and, you know, throw balloons and poppers or whatever.

[B]

Yeah, like.

[A]

Okay, yeah, Yippee. Okay, so I don't understand how that plays into it. How does that play into it?

[B]

In what sense?

[A]

Okay, you were a micro influencer and heavy. Focus on the word micro. Yeah, obviously not. You. You're like eight foot tall. But. But you're influencing. How does that play into how you. This. Because it can't just be your mortgage as well, because this is. This is fat. This is a lot.

[B]

I mean, I. I'm an Airbnb owner and I'm basically.

[A]

Wait, you're an Airbnb owner now?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Wait, what? Okay, hold on. You said you're a co host, now you're saying you're an owner. Are you talking about the house you bought for yourself?

[B]

Yes, Exactly.

[A]

Now you're Airbnb 3 in a market that is not great. Wait, you manage 3. You manage 3 of other people's homes?

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Got it. Let's start with that. On the income side, what do you make from that? The subsidizing your lifestyle of what you already make a quarter million dollars a year.

[B]

Those three homes bring in max. 18,000.

[A]

Yeah. What's normal for a monthly. A monthly thing. What's normal?

[B]

Normal. I'd say thousand to fifteen hundred. That's the average. Not a lot. The.

[A]

The only 1,200.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then are you your own business with that?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

1250. Are you setting save money for taxes? Okay, again, why are you broken?

[B]

Nobody taught me.

[A]

No one taught you. Well, what about when the government's like, you owe taxes? Is that not teaching you? Because is this your first year doing it? How many years have you been doing it?

[B]

Quite a few.

[A]

So you teaching you the tax bill came due and then you taught yourself because that's how it works.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What do you mean no one taught you? Have you not paid your taxes?

[B]

I'm paid. I paid my W2 taxes. Right. My personal taxes.

[A]

Okay. And I just got an Airbnb link. Is this for her own house? Okay. What do you make with that? You said you can't afford your house, so.

[B]

Exactly. So back in May, I finally moved out because I was offense.

[A]

Who the is renting this?

[B]

You don't like it?

[A]

I don't understand why someone would be renting this when there's substantially just better houses in Austin.

[B]

It's fair. Okay, so In a hey. Area. 12 minutes. It's close. It's close to downtown. All right. And it's got a pool.

[A]

Close is a. That's a hard close. You're close to the airport, which I guess is nice, but that's also not considered a nice area. Listen, as far as I understand, I believe our post show for this episode, ladies and gentlemen, will be at the house. We are going to review the house and that'll be fun.

[B]

Really?

[A]

And that's where the post show will be. So be prepared for that. Click that join button to join us there. Wingstop box has been sitting there. Don't ask me how I know that it's a wingstop box and the. The fully filled gutters and the rotting pumpkin. Because you don't live here. Who's spending all the time watering these plants?

[B]

I have someone come and do it, and I pay 100 bucks a month.

[A]

You budget that in?

[B]

I sure do.

[A]

You spend money on that.

[B]

No back neighbors.

[A]

No black neighbors.

[B]

No back.

[A]

Okay, so what are you talking about?

[B]

That I really want to buy some things.

[A]

How does this house you.

[B]

Well, I mean, the mortgage each month is very expensive, and then you have.

[A]

An incredible income, and that is. That does not look like that crazy. Okay, okay. I've been your address. Let's take a look. I feel like you've tried a girl boss too hard. Yeah, I feel like you've tried to grow too hard and you've unfortunately become like, dumb tit dude. This is. It's a $600,000 house. I'm not saying that's a cheap house, but with your income, I don't see. What. What are you talking about? What's your mortgage payment?

[B]

5,332. Like 5,300 and. But.

[A]

And I had a subsidy in that 33%.

[B]

Yeah, but it's all a lie. It costs more than that when you have everything together. It's like you have the electricity, the pool.

[A]

No, you, Your, your actual mortgage is in that threshold that people. That we recommend for affordability. 33%. And that's. You're not pay. That's not even your gross pay. GROSS Pay about 30%, which honestly, most people can't even do. Most people get closer to 40%. So you're in a blessed position where this is almost 30% of your net pay, and you're saying you can't complain about that. Cry and die. You people are out there not being able to do shit. You. How are you struggling with that?

[B]

I don't know. My static expenses come to 11,000, 12,000amonth. You know, makes sense.

[A]

What did you put down? Because right now it's estimated that 20% down is about a $3210 payment.

[B]

Definitely didn't put that down. Did not. No, no.

[A]

Put what down? Oh, 20.

[B]

Yeah. So I'm a realtor. Right. So I got that 3% commission now too.

[A]

Okay. She's everything. What have you. Are you barista? Are you a tech entrepreneur? Have you created an app or what have you not done? Are you?

[B]

I, I just haven't ever not been broke.

[A]

Huh.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. Yeah. I'd be cope. Giggling to survive as well.

[B]

All right. Yeah. So I put down probably about 30 total.

[A]

30 what? Percent. Per thousand.

[B]

Thousand.

[A]

Okay, so 5%.

[B]

Correct.

[A]

Okay. Why would you do that for? Was this supposed to be a house for you to live in or an investment?

[B]

Yes, I, I, you know, maybe. I, on the other hand, I wanted to move my relationship along with my boyfriend, my ex. Oh, sorry. X. He didn't make it to the closing.

[A]

How tall is he?

[B]

5 9.

[A]

Oh, you must have destroyed him.

[B]

Look alike, huh? You guys definitely look alike.

[A]

I'm not in the mood to be crushed, personally.

[B]

Some people.

[A]

Some people love you, five nine. Some people love.

[B]

I'm five eight.

[A]

It's just the shoes, dude, your thighs could choke a man to death.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

So, okay, you're a realtor, an Airbnb, was it? Program manager.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Okay. You rent out your own Airbnb, you help other people rent out their own Airbnb, and you're probably a dominatrix on the side that chokes men with your thighs. What else do you do? Apparently, because I highly doubt you make money from you being a mortgage. Huh?

[B]

Mm. Wait, me being a what? A mortgage. What?

[A]

Sorry. Realtor.

[B]

Oh, no, I don't make anything. Mm.

[A]

Mm.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So what else do you do? And you're an infinite girl bossing too close to the sun and getting destroyed.

[B]

No, nothing else right now.

[A]

All right, I'll see a picture of this ex. If I find the ax, I gotta see it. Why'd you break up with?

[B]

Oh, it's a long story, Mr. Hammer. He only wanted to pay a thousand dollars a month because that was the going room rate.

[A]

Huh.

[B]

Towards my mortgage.

[A]

Is he poor?

[B]

No, definitely not.

[A]

You broke up with him for not wanting to contribute much. I mean, I guess I can get that.

[B]

He has over a million in the market. He has saved him.

[A]

Oh, he hid you during the entire relationship.

[B]

Yeah, he did.

[A]

You're hard to hide.

[B]

Similar. Right? Like it's a Jew on a good day.

[A]

Like, you see, we both got big foreheads. I mean, I got he's similar eyes. I mean, I'm olive. He's a bit Mexican.

[B]

He's not Mexican.

[A]

He's not Mexican.

[B]

I mean, you've got a better hairline.

[A]

Huh?

[B]

Your hairline's better than mine.

[A]

I have a gray hairline.

[B]

Yeah. You're on that finesse stride, too.

[A]

Yes, so is Brandon. So don't worry. Brandon's trying to grow back after he lost everything, so, yeah, same thing. But I just sustain the full head.

[B]

Yeah. So, yeah, the. I wanted to him to.

[A]

Why did he hide you? How old is that man?

[B]

31. Why did he hide you?

[A]

So you purchased this for him even though he was hiding you?

[B]

I purchased it to move the relationship along. It wasn't for him, but he basically.

[A]

That's a weird step in a relationship. I've never personally heard of buying the other person a house.

[B]

It wasn't for him. Right. But it was for us. And so he had all these requirements he needed to live close to work. He needed his own room. He needed his own office.

[A]

You guys can't rent. You had to buy for that?

[B]

Well, I wanted to move it along.

[A]

Move what? The relationship. I don't understand how buying that like you guys weren't married.

[B]

Well, we had been together over three years off and on.

[A]

Three years. And he hid you?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

What the is that. Why was he hiding you from his Mexican family?

[B]

Oh, my God, the Puerto Rican. Close. So close. He. I don't know how to say it the right way. He just didn't approve of my choices and my.

[A]

What choices? I mean, I don't either. You're a mess. You're a disaster.

[B]

Yeah, you know, he. He basically lost a lot of weight in the start of our relationship. And he became really confident.

[A]

Good.

[B]

And we would have a couple public fights in the beginning. And then we had like a group of church friends that were very. That had certain views and ways and he just didn't want me to be a part of that.

[A]

What are you guys gay?

[B]

No. He could be gay.

[A]

He looks gay.

[B]

Yeah, but it's hot. He's hot.

[A]

He's a good looking dude.

[B]

Yeah. Fair pause.

[A]

Hammer Elite is free right now, but you got to submit proof of purchase@hammer elite.com so you can get your $10 digital gift card that covers it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What views do they disagree with? He hid you because you disagreed with views yet to move the relationship for long. You went into a house you can't even come close to afford. Except you actually can. You actually can. You can easily afford this house. You just say you can.

[B]

I don't believe it. I mean, God, I hate my apartment. I hate it. So I have an apartment. Yeah, I moved out of there.

[A]

What is wrong with you?

[B]

Well, what are you wrong with you? You keep there.

[A]

Why don't you just live in your house, you dumb.

[B]

Can you pay the mortgage?

[A]

Yes, I can afford it and so can you and so can Brandon.

[B]

I would like a new fence and I need turf and a pool heater. Okay. Yeah.

[A]

To live there?

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

You live in an apartment. You don't have any of those things.

[B]

I'm aware. And I live four minutes away in the.

[A]

Why don't you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, yeah. You purchased the house in a bad area. Why?

[B]

No, it's a great area. Hey, it's coming up.

[A]

No area near the airport of any city is a good area.

[B]

Excuse me, but there's a new development that's like the domain.

[A]

There's a new development everywhere and that Thing is going to be about 20, 40.

[B]

Trust me, it'll be worth a million. It'll be worth a million dollars?

[A]

Yes. Probably in decades. But why aren't you living there?

[B]

Because I can't afford it. I cannot.

[A]

But you have it. How often is it being booked on Airbnb?

[B]

Okay, every weekend's usually booked.

[A]

Every weekend?

[B]

Yeah. On average. The better way to do it close to the airport.

[A]

You just have location. It must be.

[B]

Yeah. And the pool and the size.

[A]

Every Airbnb I can see has a pool.

[B]

That's not true.

[A]

And nicer houses.

[B]

Oh, come on. It's decorated. Well, it's not that old. 2002. It's fine.

[A]

It's old. It just. Yeah, it doesn't stack up. Yeah, maybe the price reflects that. Okay, what's. Why does it cost to find. What do you bring? Okay, if it's rented every weekend, what do you bring in a weekend?

[B]

Okay, well, I look at it by the month. That's the way you got to look at it.

[A]

Fine.

[B]

Monthly what comes in average around 5,000. That's it.

[A]

So what are you struggling with? Because that makes you break even.

[B]

Well, no, the mortgage is 5,300 and then you have the thousand dollars in cleaning fees and then you have the pool cleaner and you have the electric and all the utilities. No, you're not. I'm literally underwater. Every month it's at least $7,000 to run it.

[A]

Then why do it if it's extra cost? You would make more money living there because you also have the rent of your own place on top of it. Which is what?

[B]

848,400. 840 freaking dollars a month. I live with a roommate.

[A]

You don't have to. This is so. I'm sorry. I, I, I am sorry. I'm sorry. This is.

[B]

I signed a seven month lease with a friend to get out of debt, cuz I was.

[A]

No, no, no. That doesn't make any sense though, because you still have your mortgage.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Okay, hold on. Can I whiteboard here? I need to, I need to draw this out because I think, I think she's. You were destined to be an elementary school English teacher. That's what you look like. And that's what you should have stuck with. You tried to Girl boss. Way too close to the sun. Yeah, way too close to the sun.

[B]

Comes from my parents.

[A]

And you don't know what the you're doing to save your damn life. Okay, what's your mortgage?

[B]

Okay, 5300. We're just gonna say 5300.

[A]

Okay. So. Okay, you're a big giggle.

[B]

Your lines are a little crooked there.

[A]

It's just a squiggle.

[B]

Okay, sorry.

[A]

And 5,000 comes in.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

So 5K in, out is 5,300. And what does it cost to maintain? Okay, yeah. What's the cost to maintain the house?

[B]

For the Airbnb, cleaning fees on average are around 1100 total. Per month.

[A]

Total per month?

[B]

1100.

[A]

No, everything.

[B]

Oh, is that it? It's anywhere from it depends on the number of turns. Right. Because you're paying 100 your average month.

[A]

Because you gave me 5,000 is what comes in from an average month. So what's the average month?

[B]

7,500 and total. That's what it cost me.

[A]

That's not including the mortgage.

[B]

That's including the mortgage.

[A]

No, no, no. Okay, so on top of it is.

[B]

Then 2200 on top of the 53 to run it.

[A]

Is that including utilities?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Supplies, utilities, cleaning plant, watering. 100 bucks a month.

[A]

What is wrong with you? And what is your current rent? 800.

[B]

840.

[A]

Let's talk about student loans. I know it's something we all avoid talking about, but if your private student loans are crushing you, why Refi might be exactly what you need. They don't rely on your credit score alone. They look for borrowers who have the desire and the ability to repay. That is a game changer in a market where most lenders only see a number interest rates under 6% guaranteed. That's practically a unicorn in student lending. Plus, they offer structured payment plans to lower your monthly bill and even a co signer release program so your mom and dad can step off the hook. Why? Refi is known for their personal service. No faceless call centers. You get a dedicated rep who actually cares about your progress. They've got a 4.6 star rating on Google, which tells you people genuinely like working with them. So if your private student loans are burying you, it is time to reach out. Why? Refi wants to help you climb out of debt, not push you further into it. Check them out at yrefi.com hammer that is yrefy.com hammer or call 888-973-3978. That is triple eight nine seven. Break free from the high interest trap and get your finances under control once and for all. The number one YouTube membership just got upgraded and for this month only, you can join for free. See exclusive shows every day, Monday through Saturday. Financial audit post shows. Exclusive and uncensored financial audit episodes. Obviously, you're your time 100%, but including fan favorites. Audit update.

[B]

I'm seeing a therapist now. Wait, personally or romantically? Or both.

[A]

Audit break down. Like we still don't film with people like that. Like he is a next level. And hammer it out. Put discipline into your budget. That's what I was thinking. Plus, you'll get access to Hammer Elite Day on January 31st. No other church channel offers what Hammer Elite provides. Join with the link in the pinned comment or description below. Submit proof of purchase@hammer elite.com and we'll reimburse you for your first month with a $10 digital gift card that can be spent anywhere in most countries. Sorry, North Korea. This isn't for you. This is how we have to do a free trial on here. Because the platform doesn't currently offer free trials. It's okay. It's worth it. Yeah, it is. Join Hammer Elite, the best membership on YouTube today, for free. Okay, I guess you're over complicating it, but I guess the math does work because when you said that 7,000 or $8,000, I thought that was on top of.

[B]

Oh no.

[A]

So technically you are spending less. Here is your difference. So you are saving about that much. So, okay, 5,300 plus 2,200 plus 8,40 are your expenses. But minus the 5,000 that brings in, you're still losing 3,340. But that is less. Yeah, but that is less than the 5300 plus whatever you tell. Technically. Technically it works. Yeah, it's just stupid. Why not just sell the house?

[B]

Well, I won't do it. I won't do it. And see how like I'm trying to subsidize to pay off the debt. Because I had so much credit card debt. That was the idea.

[A]

And then why not sell the house?

[B]

I thought that I could move back in once I paid off the debt.

[A]

Why not sell the house is the question. Because you said I will not. So why the I want to hold on to it?

[B]

Why I feel like it will be worth.

[A]

What was Your purchase price?

[B]

635. I saw that. 600.

[A]

Yeah. Worth about 600. So never mind. That would be why not.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But even writing a check, even writing a check, getting a thousand $500 rent, like you would make it back relatively quickly and then you would be just making. You'd be making the difference and better.

[B]

At that point you're like long term rented. Is that what you're saying? What are you saying? Long term?

[A]

No. If you sell it, write a check for what you lost, which you'll be writing like a 20,000 hour check with the money you make by renting a thousand 500 hour place. You make that up in a couple of years and then at that point you're just golden, making more instead of holding on this house.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I just don't. I don't understand this house. Is it really an opportunity for you? Sure. Multi decades.

[B]

I got it a huge deal though. So it was originally.

[A]

What are you talking about?

[B]

So it was originally listed for 750 and it was.

[A]

No, you got it. But you got it for market. Come on, realtor. You got it for market.

[B]

I. I got.

[A]

Come on, realtor, you got it for market. If you bought it.

[B]

Rats. It had rats. I got a hundred dollars for market.

[A]

No, if you and the seller came to an agreement that is for market. You didn't get a discount.

[B]

I got a discount.

[A]

Does it still have rats?

[B]

Perhaps they just killed four of them today.

[A]

Who's they? So when we go there later, there's gonna be rats?

[B]

No, no, no. I made sure that they came before you arrived today. Perhaps you know the work that they.

[A]

Did today, which is Wednesday, meaning people stayed there this last weekend.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Hey.

[B]

But I have all 5 star reviews. Just hit 21. 5 star reviews?

[A]

How?

[B]

How? What? I actually lost my biggest booking back in October. Like for acl. A rat chewed through the wiring for the ac. The AC went out and they walked out.

[A]

You're broken. Just stop, okay? Just. Just stop.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Okay. So you bought this disaster that's you in every way whatsoever that technically you can afford. So I don't understand how this has ruined you, but you did this to move your relationship along of a guy that was hiding you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then you broke up with. Okay, so how long did you own this house before you broke up?

[B]

It was. It's always been an off and on thing. He'll come back for three months. He'll go, what a disaster.

[A]

And when was the last time he.

[B]

Was in this summer? When I didn't have any money to. I had to move out of the house and I didn't have enough money to afford a place to live.

[A]

You went back to him.

[B]

Mm.

[A]

So he didn't come back to you there.

[B]

You went back as a friend.

[A]

A friend that definitely. Of course. See? Exactly. Come on, we know things. We know. Well. You have a vagina. He has a penis. And you guys are attracted to each other. Yeah, that tends to happen.

[B]

Fair.

[A]

Weird how that works. And also, you guys dated at this point. You also. AI is incredible. It can teach you how to fry an egg and even write a poem pirate style, but it knows nothing about your work. Slackbot is different. It doesn't just know the facts. It knows your schedule. It can turn a brainstorm into a brief. And it doesn't need to be taught because Slackbot isn't just another AI It's AI that knows your work as well as you do.

[B]

Pig.

[A]

Visit slack.com forward/meet slackbot to learn more. Tom.

[B]

This weekend, perhaps.

[A]

Did you.

[B]

No, we. Yeah, there's a.

[A]

Good. Because he has a girlfriend.

[B]

From my knowledge, no, he doesn't. Definitely not. Oh, he's dating someone new. But like, it's casual. It's casual. I mean, God.

[A]

Oh, he broke up with you. You didn't break up with him?

[B]

It's a back and forth.

[A]

He broke up with you originally during escort escrow.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

He didn't break. You didn't break up with him. He broke up with you?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, so he was hiding here. You buy this house to move your relationship along, then he breaks up with you at escrow?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, my goodness. Why are you even allowing to go back to this.

[B]

This guy, he gives this theme of hope. It's always like, you're so beautiful. I just.

[A]

And how many times does that happen?

[B]

Oh, my God. More than I can count.

[A]

Why can't you learn? Go, boss.

[B]

He's so convincing with those nice lips. You know, he has your eyes, just. Really?

[A]

I just have normal brown ass eyes.

[B]

They're kind of hazelish.

[A]

No?

[B]

In this lighting. Yeah. You don't have. They don't have the same effect on me. It's fine.

[A]

I'm not trying to seduce you. You're ancient.

[B]

Okay, wait. I got a question, though, on the boys. Wait. Do you pay for your. Do you believe in paying the bill for the people that you're dating?

[A]

What bill?

[B]

Like for dinners and dates?

[A]

I mean, I do. It's not like a hardcore core belief.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, my philosophy has always been. And I'm about to get shit on in the comments.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because I was shit on in our membership when we talked about this. He's cheap. No, if I go on a first date, I will pay. If I want another date, if it's a bad date and I never want to see them again, I can't with you. I will try to have them pay for it, but I will at least split it. If it's a date where I'm like, I don't want to date them again, but, oh, let's have some sex afterwards. Yeah, I'll split it.

[B]

You're an asshole.

[A]

Why? How's that an asshole?

[B]

I mean, wow.

[A]

That's adults taking care of their own bills.

[B]

You're going to pay 25 to have access to me? I just feel.

[A]

What, so you think people pay to have sex with you?

[B]

Because, I mean. Yeah, you buy my dinner if you're.

[A]

Going to, then, well, you're a prostitute. See, for me, I think two consenting adults are and to. And taking care of their own bills.

[B]

Okay, you're right to have your own opinion, but what about long term? So let's say, like, you're a boyfriend, girlfriend. What's your money? Yeah. Congrats.

[A]

Well, thank you. But that's where I am right now, is what I'm saying, so.

[B]

But what's the money philosophy there?

[A]

Well, I just take care of it because I'm objectively the breadwinner due to my position.

[B]

Fair.

[A]

So it just makes sense. But, like, I don't really care.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I. I would split it if she wanted to. I'd let her take care of it if she wanted to. I don't really. Who gives? Why is this, like, a core value? You're not, you know, we're not courting anymore.

[B]

That's fair. That's fair. He was a 5050 guy. No matter what. No matter how. What dollars I had. Yeah, always 5050 because you eat a lot. Like, oh. And he charges interest on the money. He loans you 10 if you don't pay back within a month.

[A]

I like this man. Bring him in.

[B]

Oh, God.

[A]

I would rather talk to him instead.

[B]

Wow. Yeah. Okay.

[A]

No, no, no, you're good. You're fine. You're fine. Oh, he used to meet you to do financial audits.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And yet you're still like this.

[B]

He's helping. It's getting better.

[A]

No, I think this is because you're an independent girly. And the one. Actually, his suggestion one time that a dude mansplains to you. You're like, let's just make it worse because I don't want to follow what he says. I read that vibe with you.

[B]

Yeah. You're pretty, right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That hasn't helped you.

[B]

Hmm.

[A]

Because personal finances are easy. It takes a while to get to the complicated shit. The mortgage can get kind of complicated. Most personal finance shit is pretty easy. If you just. If he just. If you feel like you're getting mansplained to him and then you're like, well, I'm not going to listen to this guy. You're just going to yourself over because it's really easy. It's all simple.

[B]

It doesn't feel simple to me. I've done, I've been in this situation.

[A]

Maybe you shouldn't be girl bossing because it's literally the most simple shit in the entire world. Budgeting, it's like so basic you can learn it in five minutes.

[B]

No, it stresses me out every week. I'm like freaking out. I'm like, I don't know what the heck to do then.

[A]

I don't think you should be a program manager if you can't handle a couple numbers on a paper. I mean, budgeting apps, like dollar wise, it's all automated.

[B]

I get all excited and shit. That's like, I don't know, none of.

[A]

Us want to see that. But I'm like, I don't. What?

[B]

It just seems like there's never enough, no matter how much I make.

[A]

Well, because you're a moron with your money, you don't sit there and actually budget it. If you budget it there, you certainly have enough. Especially with. Okay, so we know what comes in. What was fent last month?

[B]

I'd have to check.

[A]

What do you think was spent last month?

[B]

Put yourself 13 to 14,000.

[A]

Yeah, it was 28.941.75.

[B]

No way.

[A]

Yes way. That's not a man's playing number. In fact, the accountant who did this was a woman.

[B]

Oh, wow.

[A]

Oh wow. She's surprised.

[B]

She's sexist girl.

[A]

We live in 2025. Girls can do numbers too. Just because you can't, others can.

[B]

Okay. Okay.

[A]

Usually that number is $0.70 on the dollar, but. Not my problem.

[B]

Okay, fine.

[A]

Oh, we don't do that here at Hammer Media. In fact, I'd say the women make more.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Huh?

[B]

Yeah, really.

[A]

Well, yeah. That's because the women that work here tend to be in the more like skilled and demand positions where, you know.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Mr. Mark over there is making pennies on the dollar because he's a little contractor. Love you, Mark. Hi, Mark. Say hi to the camera.

[B]

Yeah, we can relate. Yeah.

[A]

Here he is. Here's our little pennies on the dollar boy. Here he comes, all five foot two. Okay, so what do you think your financial score is? 0 to 10, 0 being the worst finances ever, 10 being the best finances ever.

[B]

1.

[A]

Okay. If you want your financial score, it is free to take the assessment. Only takes a few minutes to see where you stand in the world of money@caleb paper.com. see what you got to do to improve your situation where you're up where are you doing? Well. And if you don't want to be like a guest who ends up on the show again, it's not complicated. Just download the Dollar wise budgeting app. Take the free trial to see if you like it. New features being added every single month, tens of thousands of subscribers for a reason. And then if you like it, you can sign up for the annual version to save a lot of money. And I will personally sign my budget Friendly cookbook and mail it directly to you. Dollarwise app, calebhammer.com. all those links are below. All right, let's jump in because this is gonna take a second because. Oh, we're. This is a lot of paperwork and you spend beyond way more than you bring in. It's not even. It's not even comparable. I don't even know how you exist. It's insane. Okay, so here we go. Pasta. Why am I seeing pasta on your.

[B]

Well, you know, I was unemployed.

[A]

Huh. When?

[B]

March to July.

[A]

You just got employed into a declining not only company, but market as well. What were you doing before that?

[B]

I was a program manager at a different tech company.

[A]

What tech company? And you got laid off at a company that is actually growing.

[B]

Well.

[A]

And now. And now you're at that.

[B]

It was a dream job.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

I'm sure. Yeah. I'm a contractor, though.

[A]

That's not layoff. They just didn't renew your contract.

[B]

Well, I was at the.

[A]

Wait, are you a contractor right now? Wait, when does Your contract end?

[B]

January 31st.

[A]

You have all these bills at the. Oh, you can't pay. Whoa. Why would you get a house? Your contract's come to a end. Oh, what are you doing? What are you. Why? Why? Why, why, why, why? Why are you doing any of this? Contract? Contract. Oh, are you W2'd yeah. Oh, why are you doing any of this contract? You have an end date. You have a end date. Oh, good luck with the renewal. Good luck with the renewal. To Airbnb. Airbnb. Good luck. Oh, why are you getting into any of this shit if you're a contractor? Contract. Oh, what are you doing?

[B]

Fair. Okay, fair.

[A]

How about you tell me why? Why can't I have a one year? If I was a contracting, I'd be a one year emergency fund at a minimum before I went any kind of debt. Oh, what do you do? Airbnb. Your Airbnb.

[B]

When I bought the house, it's just all gone.

[A]

And how long was that emergency fund with your mortgage included into it? How long would have it have lasted?

[B]

6 months?

[A]

Your mortgage payment you had. What was the number you had saved up?

[B]

70,000 after I paid. I had about a hundred grand.

[A]

Okay. How'd you this. How'd you this. You weren't unemployed for six months.

[B]

I was depressed. I was hungry like you said.

[A]

Which one was it? Depressed or hungry? Both. Depressed. You? Everyone says they're depressed until I get a clinical diagnosis. I don't believe that anymore. Yeah, he had a sad day. We all do. What, because Mr. Mexican left you?

[B]

Yeah, for the 10, bro.

[A]

You're behind four months.

[B]

I'm in a.

[A]

Works for Airbnb. Has an Airbnb four months behind on her. Airbnb contract ends in two months. You said January, right?

[B]

End of Jan. So three.

[A]

Three months, kind of. I'd say two and a half.

[B]

I have option for renewal.

[A]

You know, you have the option or they have the.

[B]

Well, they have the option.

[A]

They are down 10 this month. You know how stock prices go up when companies aren't doing well? Layoffs.

[B]

I'm still gonna get that full time offer. I'm gonna get it just like you did. Oh, a sore spot there.

[A]

So it just can happen. It's a. It's a prime example of how this works. Yeah, sore spot. You sore spot. You don't know what a sore spot is. That just happened. That is reality. That is what your type of.

[B]

Can you cover the mortgage?

[A]

What was your job. What was your job when you got this mortgage?

[B]

I was a program manager at Meta and I was making the most I'd ever made. I was.

[A]

What was it?

[B]

I make one, three an hour now I was making 90 an hour, so almost 200.

[A]

All this privilege, all this opportunity, all this shit, and you.

[B]

You.

[A]

It all.

[B]

I had a plan.

[A]

No, you didn't. You blew your emergency fund on hunger. So that's our plan. Assets. What Assets?

[B]

Yeah, just things. Things. What house?

[A]

No, you said you had 70,000 left after the asset. So where did it go? What assets?

[B]

There was some trips.

[A]

That's not an asset.

[B]

Some purchases, some personal.

[A]

What did you purchase? Okay, what was your personal purchases?

[B]

Plastic surgery.

[A]

Oh, no, no, no.

[B]

You.

[A]

You do look good. I'm just like. I'm trying to figure out the. Because usually plastic surgery you can like kind of see. Okay, Maybe we'll learn as we go along. Can you turn to the side? No, your nose wasn't done. No, you have a bump, but it's not bad. Bumps aren't bad. We like a good bump. That's a natural nose.

[B]

Symmetrical.

[A]

You definitely don't have a nose job. Because it would be A perfect nose. And you don't have a perfect nose. I don't even like perfect no nose. It's like. It's just so annoying. It's so fake because you know if you someone with a perfect nose and then a baby comes out, that baby's gonna have a up nose.

[B]

Fair. So there were some asset purchases and like purchases.

[A]

I don't think. Do you know what the word asset means? Did you do. Is there anything tangible that you can sell?

[B]

I'm trying to you know meet my husband. Right. And my. My mom always said you know, once you get him done you're probably going to meet the micro love of your life.

[A]

Oh, are they done? Are those done right there?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

They're not even on display. What's the point of even purchasing?

[B]

I didn't. I wanted to be polite to your girlfriend.

[A]

I don't think she has to be worried. Oh, you're ancient. It's okay. It's just.

[B]

Yeah. How old are you?

[A]

30.

[B]

Oh, okay. Yeah. I'm like your grandma. Yeah.

[A]

So the tits. How much were the tits?

[B]

14 ish.

[A]

Thousand. For titties?

[B]

Yeah. They were natural. They had. It was a premium price for Premium. Premiums.

[A]

They're not natural. They're fake.

[B]

But they're as natural as natural could be.

[A]

Are they silicone?

[B]

No. It's actually a new kind. That is it. It mimics natural tissue.

[A]

Good. Because I hate every time I the fake ferrets. I hated it.

[B]

You would hated it. You wouldn't know. I'll let. I'll let someone else vouch for that.

[A]

Just fake boobs. I mean they look good from afar but up close it's just like you're just kind of feeling this.

[B]

You're like. That's why it's a premium price. You know like you probably only got like the five thousand dollar ones that you've touched. You've never touched.000 ones.

[A]

Yeah well the one I touched had breast cancer so that's why she got them.

[B]

I'm just gonna have some coffee now.

[A]

How do you feel? Mm.

[B]

Excuse me. I'm busy.

[A]

So. 14,000 for tits?

[B]

Yes sir. And that was in December of last year and my contract was ending in March.

[A]

And you can always see because I got a little scar right here. You do a little. You're like. What's this? That's how I check on the third date.

[B]

When you split the meal. Right. Or when you pay for the meal.

[A]

Third?

[B]

No. Second. Third. I don't know. I haven't been single For a long time.

[A]

I don't think people wait to the second date these days.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Unless they're Gen Z. They're very anti sex. They're very anti sex. They wait generations until they in a church community.

[B]

So it's a little different. Yeah.

[A]

Ah, yes. My favorite thing that the churchgoers do, get big fake tits for the congregation for Jesus. Okay. Where'd you get those? Those. Those.

[B]

Them. Oh, yeah, they. The girls back in December.

[A]

Twins.

[B]

They're almost a year old.

[A]

Okay. Oh, that's right when a contract ended.

[B]

Yeah, I had a couple more months.

[A]

14,000.

[B]

Mm.

[A]

So someone is this. What's this new material?

[B]

What do you mean?

[A]

What is this new material that we are making tits out of?

[B]

Oh, it's called Motiva. It's a gel.

[A]

Like, sounds like a weight loss drug and a gel. And that feels natural too. So someone in Austin is injecting motiva into people?

[B]

Well, no, it's. It's a. It's a. It's a structure. And they put it in there. Yeah, but it's gel, like, and it mimics like how tissue would move.

[A]

Where do I go in Austin to experience this?

[B]

Can I name the doctor?

[A]

This is where you went. It was in Austin.

[B]

Yeah, it was in Austin. Yeah. She's excellent.

[A]

Okay. No, no, no, no. Okay, but. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Four payments behind in a mortgage so we can get things like fake tits and more plastic surgery. And you blew so 70,000 emergency fund. Now we can't pay our mortgage and it got fake tits. That's what you did with your emergency fund. Fake tits. Did you bbl?

[B]

I mean, not then, but you have a bbl. I mean, where else would that come from? The thick thighs.

[A]

Oh my. I see it in your face now. Now I see it. You got them fake lips. Finding a doctor you actually like. Well, I need one for my injuries. Ignore that. But it's like finding a dollar in your winter coat. Except way more valuable and slightly less linty. You don't just want someone in network. You want someone who listens, explains things clearly, maybe even still gives you a lollipop even though you're a grown adult who also just cried in the exam room. I there probably later today. Your dream doctor does exist. And finding them is easy. With today's sponsor, zocdoc. Zocdoc is a free app and website that helps you find and book high quality in network doctors. We're talking over 150,000 providers across all 50 states and 200 plus specialties from dermatology to dentistry to primary care. Search by specialty or symptom. Check out verified patient reviews so you don't end up with the doctor equivalent of a DMV clerk. Book instantly with real time availability. No phone tag. It's what I use if I need to book a doc fast. And I do. So stop putting off those appointments and go to Zocdoc.com Caleb to book a doctor you love today, that is Z O C D O C.com Caleb Zocdoc.com Caleb thanks to Zocdoc for sponsoring this episode. Let's get back to the show. That's kind of stupid, I'll be honest. But what's not is actually getting a checking account that gives you free money. Free money. We like free money. You can get up to $350 in bonus cash right now when you sign up for the checking account that I use, Chime. Also, it makes your savings grow at a 3.5 APY interest rate. Guys, you can watch Financial Audit and get free money at the same time. Who would have thought? That's incredible. Check it out. Link in the description below. Sign up for chime. Get that 350 right now in your checking account. No injection. You got something there is something happening.

[B]

Nothing here. These have been.

[A]

There's something going on.

[B]

Just a smile.

[A]

Botox?

[B]

No, it's. I stopped in March. I'm on a budget. Look, See? Yeah. BBL in Columbia. Only two grand. Very affordable.

[A]

In where?

[B]

In Colombia.

[A]

You went to Colombia?

[B]

Yeah, I used to live there.

[A]

What are. You're everywhere. This is so confusing. And yeah, all of this blowing our emergency fund on it, even if it's cheap. You blow your emergency fund on it and then now you're four payments behind on a mortgage. What the are we doing? Wait, you went to Turkey in March this year when your contract for Lipo. You're not fat. Were you fat?

[B]

Yeah, well, I. I'm. I'm a little bit lighter. But they actually wouldn't do it. They said I just need to lose weight.

[A]

Well, yes. Yeah.

[B]

Well, look. See? But I'm sad.

[A]

That's what you wanted. Lipo?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Turkey wouldn't do it.

[B]

No, I mean, I went with a friend to accompany her for a nose job, so she got that done. What are those?

[A]

Circle. You're in. You're in the. Just fake. You're fake. This is. This is again why I will. I refuse to reproduce with people like you.

[B]

What you think is natural is not natural.

[A]

Exactly. Well, actually, my girlfriend's all natural.

[B]

She's A select few.

[A]

No, I'm just saying I wouldn't have sex. I wouldn't reproduce to someone like you because the child is going to come out ugly. Because. No, because you oftentimes all these people that are super fake, they came from something that wasn't that great that you're hiding, which means the DNA is not going to be fixed. It's.

[B]

But looking at me, you wouldn't go, she looks.

[A]

You have etched abs.

[B]

Yeah, but looking at me.

[A]

Wait, you have fake abs?

[B]

Yes, but looking at me. Can we have a natural look? Right?

[A]

Can we see them?

[B]

No. Yeah.

[A]

Can we put the picture on screen?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

You want me to pull it up? Oh, you have it from Instagram.

[A]

I have one from Instagram. Okay, I gotta say this. What did you spend on fake?

[B]

No, that was. That was included. The BBL is. You get the etched abs and you. They put it in the behind.

[A]

What is happening? What is happening? Why do you want to live this way?

[B]

I was.

[A]

When I was your emergency fund on all this fake bodily. And now you can't pay your mortgage and you're four months behind.

[B]

Yes, but that's why there's mortgage BBL over mortgage. Mortgage assistance programs are meant for this.

[A]

What? You make so much money. How do you qualify for a mortgage assistance program?

[B]

It's just how it works.

[A]

Do you. What's their mortgage assistance program?

[B]

I actually have the paperwork downstairs.

[A]

What is it? What have you signed up for?

[B]

So you just like, you call the bank and you're like, hey, I can't pay. And this is my situation. I'm unemployed. And then they go back and look at it. And then while they're looking at it, you actually don't have to pay for 60 days because they're reviewing your account.

[A]

Oh, my. But you're on like 120.

[B]

What do you mean days? Yeah. Well, no. Okay, so then you enter into the mortgage assistance program and there's a few options and then they give you a trial period. So then, well, here's the fake abs. How do you look? What do you think?

[A]

Why? I don't get it.

[B]

It looks fantastic. Which picture did you show them? Oh, yeah, I was a little thinner then. That's what, four years ago? Five years ago?

[A]

So how do fake abs work with getting fat?

[B]

Well, I think it's gonna be an issue when I'm pregnant. Right? Like, you're basically gonna have abs over your.

[A]

Are you doing that?

[B]

I mean, not at this moment.

[A]

Don't you. Aren't you tick, tick, clock, clock?

[B]

Yeah, but it's more in modern times. You know, down in Argentina they don't have kids.

[A]

Are they somewhere.

[B]

Are they the eggs? No, I don't believe in that. But hey, I'm gonna come back pregnant. I hear you. I live a healthy life.

[A]

And also. But I don't know. Everything's fake.

[B]

I don't think that it affects reproduction.

[A]

No, we don't know what is. What you have done that is healthy versus what you have done that has been like taken out and implemented and. Okay, and who the are you reproducing with? Because this guy just keeps coming and going and he already has someone now.

[B]

So wasn't it. What's his name? Brian. Brian, who's going to be my.

[A]

Come on over, Brian.

[B]

Yeah. So my debt's around 700,000.

[A]

Here's Brian. Her. Her future reproduction.

[B]

Interesting. Hi, Brian. Hello. Hi. How are you doing? Great. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you.

[A]

He's a handsome guy, isn't he?

[B]

Hey, you're pretty cute. Thank you.

[A]

You don't feel uncomfortable anymore now, do you? I'm five' eleven.

[B]

Oh, I'm into that. Six feet on a good day.

[A]

Yeah, absolutely.

[B]

Okay. I love that. Thank you.

[A]

Look at her now. Remember when she was a victim who was uncomfortable earlier?

[B]

I know. And he's gonna pay off my debt. Actually, can we. I would love to raise money from the audience. No, please help me.

[A]

I will literally murder you before I ever allowed that to happen. Literally.

[B]

I have good intentions.

[A]

Disagree. Okay, so let's see. And the house is 7%, right? It's not great.

[B]

I had a buy down.

[A]

You bought down to seven.

[B]

The seller paid for it. Okay, so it was a 2:1 buy down.

[A]

When did you get this house?

[B]

May of 2024.

[A]

Why'd you say it like you're.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

$596,161.96 with a normal minimum payment of $5,836.89. You owe $23,300 to catch up.

[B]

Yes. And so. But I finished the mortgage modification. I made it to the trial. So right now I'm. I'll be able. They will put that debt at the back of the loan.

[A]

Stupid. So you're going to pay more in interest all for bbls and fake tits? Yeah. Well done. Ladies and gentlemen. Our culture is incredible. The future of civilization is.

[B]

You telling me I can move back in? I can move back into the house?

[A]

Can afford it. With your money. You are unfortunately an absolute mess and disaster. So I don't know. We need to look at the rest of this. What is this? What am I looking at?

[B]

That's the patient Fi. That's what I owe for the boobs.

[A]

They're finance tits.

[B]

Only half. One was paid. I paid half. That's the other half.

[A]

And if you default on this, do you. Do they take it back?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

And you just.

[B]

I'd have to call.

[A]

One dangling.

[B]

I'd have to call.

[A]

I don't think Brandon will do it if it's just one. He loves fake tits. Oh, my gosh. He is just the biggest.

[B]

Mine looks so natural. So it might not be his.

[A]

We don't know. And I also don't believe you. I've only been with, I think three or four fakes.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because I really don't go for that traditionally and never liked any of them.

[B]

Fair.

[A]

Even the cancer one.

[B]

Sorry. Sorry about that.

[A]

What? People get cancer there.

[B]

That would be really sad. Yeah.

[A]

So this is boobs.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

So boobs. What interest rate are boobs?

[B]

Oh, I have no idea. Because it was interesting.

[A]

Why didn't you click the details tab of the screenshot that you sent me?

[B]

It was interesting. If you could.

[A]

Are you able to pull this up on your phone?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

And I want you to click details.

[B]

I thought about paying it yesterday and then I just. Why?

[A]

Well, you're mine on your mortgage. You're dumb. Actual beast of a creature.

[B]

Mean.

[A]

No, this is. This is insane. Like, this is absolutely insane. $192.50 payment on one tit a month. You owe $6,038. Paid a thousand so far. So stupid.

[B]

Okay, I've got it open. You want to look at it? I don't even know where to look.

[A]

Push the detail button, you absolute insane animal.

[B]

I'm looking. Billing statement. They don't make it easy, I swear.

[A]

I'm excited for us to show this Airbnb in the post show. And Lindsay, myself, and the cameraman will leave and allow Brandon to stay there with you.

[B]

Wow. Only after the payment's made on my debt.

[A]

That'll be in the post. Post show.

[B]

I'm requesting 20 grand.

[A]

Give me.

[B]

I don't know where to find the interest rate I've got.

[A]

Just give it to me.

[B]

Okay, lady, I have the dock open. They don't have it.

[A]

Listen, are you a natural blonde? Cause you're acting like it.

[B]

No. Look at this. I haven't had it colored in black.

[A]

Exactly. That's what I'm saying. I don't know how you're Being such a stupid.

[B]

We are looking.

[A]

Why can you not give it to me?

[B]

I don't see it. It's literally not on here.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

Ooh, ooh. I found it. 17%.

[A]

17% on a single tint? On a single titty. They're not even on display. What's the point? 17 in their hidden. It's like, what are we even doing? If I had a 17 interest rate on my tits, they would be everywhere. They'd be everywhere Instead, guys, these are just free.

[B]

I think I need a new career.

[A]

I'm not saying people will pay for it. You chose to do that yourself, lady.

[B]

Yeah, pretty low.

[A]

I guess she brought another outfit. She brought another outfit? Just in case. A tube top. I don't even know what that means. Just in case she wanted to boob it out.

[B]

I thought it would help. Donations.

[A]

Cute donations. Cute donations. Imagine having a 17% debt on a singular title.

[B]

Hey, at least I paid for the other one. You know, I own one. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

[A]

Plan him card.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

What is going on with this? This is insane.

[B]

Well, it has. Nothing's been going on since April.

[A]

April? You've had a good. You make so much money. You privileged. What is wrong with you? People are out there struggling. You make so much money doing so many things, and you just. You. You are. There is something seriously wrong with you as an individual.

[B]

It's on a payment plan. I feel brilliant.

[A]

You said nothing's happened since.

[B]

Yeah. So I. I figured out that you can call and you were like, I'm broke. I can't pay.

[A]

You're not, though. You're not.

[B]

And then they lower the interest and they give you like, X amount of time so that you to pay it off.

[A]

Tell that interest goes back up again, huh?

[B]

Yeah, I brought it with me. I can't wait to use it again.

[A]

Said 10% is not good. It is obviously better than the like, 25 that it would be because I've.

[B]

Already had it shut down once before.

[A]

You shut down once before and you reopened?

[B]

Yeah. Finally they let me.

[A]

What is wrong with you? Why do you need this? Why do you need to be a credit card person? You're not. You're a moron. You can't do. What are you doing for the points? What does a program manager do?

[B]

We. We.

[A]

Shepherd, actually. Stupid.

[B]

Thank you. I really appreciate that. That actually helps me do my job.

[A]

Better being a program manager.

[B]

What are you doing? The dumber I seem, right, the better my job goes.

[A]

How many did you start to get this job?

[B]

Zero, actually. I only applied 40 times.

[A]

Well, yeah, that's normal.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. Yeah. What do you do on a day to day basis?

[B]

Well, I'm responsible for two things. So I'm helping a new feature launch on the app, Right? And then the second part of my job is change management, so I'm helping change an entire org.

[A]

They trust you with this?

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. They don't have any idea about this, but on the outside, it looks great, right? I own an Airbnb. I used to have an Airbnb community that you said is nothing, but I guess, yeah, hopefully I get a job at the end of this.

[A]

Yeah, I hope. Obviously. I hope. I don't want you to die, but my goodness. Like, this is insane. You make such a good income, yet you do all so stupid.

[B]

Why am I broke? Huh? Why am I broke?

[A]

Have you heard this conversation so far?

[B]

I heard what I wanted.

[A]

You are not a credit card person. You don't need to use a credit card. Use the first card. It's a debit card. That builds credit. You can't spend more than that's in your checking account. What the is going on? This makes no sense.

[B]

It was such a big deal that. That was like. I had no limit before. It was locked. Yeah.

[A]

Is it locked now?

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Good. You can't spin on it.

[B]

Thank. Yeah. Now there's a limit.

[A]

This is insane. Just. $13,721.56. Minimum payment. 379. Four years to pay off minimum payments. Only surprise. What? When you were in Turkey, they didn't even do the surgery, but you spent $5,000 on the presidential suite.

[B]

I. Yeah. My friend was recovering, and her provided free hotel by the airport was a dump. And I was like, you know, it's Turkey.

[A]

No shit.

[B]

I was like, it. Let's just stay somewhere freaking nice. I know. It was so expensive and we still had to share a bed. We didn't even get our own rooms. So no free breakfast either. But, you know, we did get, like, a bottle of champagne and late checkout.

[A]

Oh, whoa.

[B]

It was worth it.

[A]

Late checkout, bottle of champagne to enjoy when you watch the next coup happen.

[B]

Her nose looks great.

[A]

Yeah. And now she's gonna reproduce, and the child that comes out is gonna have a up nose.

[B]

That's an interesting way to look at it. Can't. The child is getting a nose job too.

[A]

It's fake. You're setting up your potential mating partner for fake DNA. Maybe an uggo.

[B]

Okay, maybe you're. I don't know.

[A]

Maybe you are.

[B]

Genetics. Future Him. Brian's genetics will be stronger than mine, and they'll get his nose.

[A]

Your nose isn't bad. Yeah, but I'm just saying, if there's an ugly person and they become completely fake, what they produce is still gonna be ugly.

[B]

But that's why we make more money to be able to fix it.

[A]

A bump in the nose isn't fixed if you got full Jew nose. Like, it's not like that's necessarily a bad thing. Yeah, I don't think so. In fact, have you seen the Jews?

[B]

Oh, yeah, dude.

[A]

Their tits are incredible. Like, ladies and gentlemen, Gooners out there. Unless you're like. Unless you're, like, chronically online and you, like, despise the Jews, right? It's like, go look at those tests.

[B]

I dated a bunch of them, but I could never get them to, like, propose to me.

[A]

Why do you call them them?

[B]

Oh, excuse me. I have dated a few Jews in my time, but then we would. I actually walked out on a guy once. I had this boyfriend, and he didn't want to pay the 50 cents for the avocado, so I literally ordered the avocado and took my meal out and left him there.

[A]

Well, I don't know about Jewish guys, but Jewish girls got the titties and.

[B]

The beautiful curly hair.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

I guess I missed out on the gene pool. I'm half Samoan.

[A]

Yes. Going back to a Mexican guy.

[B]

Yeah. My dad's over and over again that.

[A]

Already has other people. Yeah. This card's. Dude and ton of fees is here so far. $833 and $2,000 of interest.

[B]

Wow. I didn't even know.

[A]

Oh, man. You know, I. I didn't even think about this because here. Here's the reality, because I, you know, I make jokes about every group, and sometimes the Jews are included in that group because I make fun of every group. But I just complimented them so much.

[B]

Are you Jewish?

[A]

No.

[B]

Girlfriend?

[A]

No. But I. I just complimented them instead of making fun of them. Telling, Talking about how good their tits are. Usually, creators get paid to talk good about the Jews. I didn't even collect a check to say that that's such a missed opportunity. We should reach out to the Jews. Jews. If you hear this businesselebhammer.com I will take the check and I will congratulate your tits even more.

[B]

Shishkas.

[A]

I don't know what that meant.

[B]

It's like, white girl.

[A]

Do they like the white girls not to marry the.

[B]

Move on.

[A]

I don't know. I don't know. What they do these days. Apple. What are you doing with the Apple? $3,051.05. Okay. With minimum payment, $103.

[B]

I haven't been able to use that in months.

[A]

Good. Why? Not able to.

[B]

I haven't had the money to pay it down.

[A]

Well, that's bad. But why. So why. Why do you think to use it? Why is it, like an exciting thing to you to be able to use it? The moment you put any money towards it, you spend it. Why? Why is it so exciting?

[B]

I don't know. Like, I just. That one was usually, like, all my set expenses. And I. I'm up until like, April May, when reality came crashing down as I moved out of my house in three hours. Yeah, I just had a. I had.

[A]

A lot of your house in three hours?

[B]

Yeah, Like, I basically, I put it live. And within three hours, I got a booking for six weeks and I got six, $800. And I was going to actually be able to cover the mortgage, but instead of paying it, I kept the money.

[A]

Why?

[B]

I don't know. I didn't know when I was gonna get another. I didn't know when another amount of money was going to come in.

[A]

I don't understand. How long do you think this takes to pay off? If you only make minimum payments only and don't purchase, which you're incapable of, both of those things. But how long?

[B]

Three years?

[A]

15 years? What are you gonna be, like, 90?

[B]

Yeah, almost. Not that much. It's 35.

[A]

And you rented a car. Do you not have a car?

[B]

I have a loan. I have a loan on a car.

[A]

Why do I see Budget rent a car for 96 that you spent the wedding.

[B]

The girl who got the nose job this summer, I had to make it to her wedding.

[A]

I actually find she got the nose job.

[B]

So she was a finance aftercare. What is it called when you. When you. I had to finance the budget rental on that. The after pay app or whatever it's called.

[A]

Why do I see it on here?

[B]

I think that was only part of it. That was like the. The down payment for it, right? Yeah. I had to make sure that I had enough budget so that the airport.

[A]

They put a down payment on debt.

[B]

Well, no, the down payment on the.

[A]

Rental debit card is debt. You use debt for the down payment.

[B]

I took. That was a few declines. Oh, well, I know it's all paid off now. Wait, let's see. What is it even called? It's in my wallet.

[A]

What? And you're also just on you. You've had 150Amazon transactions this year so far.

[B]

That was only till March.

[A]

Insane. 150 till March. January to March. 150 transactions on Amazon.

[B]

You are one girl.

[A]

Amplified to the cops. To the max.

[B]

Okay, okay, I'm being good. I'm not even signed into my affirm.

[A]

Yeah, but pull up your Amazon.

[B]

Oh, Amazon. Oh, hey, those are. That's supplies.

[A]

Do you cream every time? Pumpkin spice lattes are announced on a yearly basis.

[B]

No, that is not my flavor.

[A]

No, it's your flavor.

[B]

Caramel available year round, not a seasonal girl. Okay, okay, I've got Amazon up. Where do you want me to go?

[A]

To my hand?

[B]

Okay, hey, business prime. Because I'm a business owner.

[A]

Shut the up.

[B]

Oh, you closed it. Yeah.

[A]

Wanna know a dirty little secret? And no, I'm not starting an Only you're not broke because you suck with money. You just can't see where it's going. If your bank account is empty at the end of every month, that is not bad for luck. That is bad tracking. And it's exactly why I use dollar wise. It shows you exactly where your money's going every single month. Spending subscriptions and savings all in one simple dashboard. Everything you need and nothing you don't. And when you download dollar wise Today you'll get six to try for free plus three months for just $9.99. So you can finally take control and see what your money's been doing behind your back. Click below to get started. Starbucks is bull and a waste of money. And you already know that by making your coffee at home and investing the rest. So now you need to do that with your energy drink as well. Make gamer subs at home for just 40 cents a serving. And honestly, it literally tastes better. And we proved this accidentally via a blind taste test in our Hammer Elite show. Fat and Fatter. The number one ranked energy drink is Gaming sauce. Literally. The cherry flavor is insane. Listen, you can also get free samples to see if you like it. Or 10 off your order at gamersupps gg or click that link in the description below. Type in code. Caleb, we already have eight things in the cart. Oh, let's see. Hey. A 300 toothbrush. A 300 toothbrush.

[B]

They're good.

[A]

Sure. Do you need 300? Oh, and a 200 toothbrush?

[B]

I couldn't decide.

[A]

A sauna, blanket, towel thing and other one. I guess we're comparing them. A large outdoor light Christian s Light blonde hair dot. Okay, let's see what the your words are. This is all. It's all Stupid. So moronic. Amazon ad free for Prime Videos is purchased there. What the. Is this ordered? What? What even is this? That was purchased. I think it has an id. Oh, Prime Video membership. Prime Video membership. This is crazy. Three in one day. Okay, well, that thing was return, return, return. Okay, we got wired earbuds, got some throw pillows, a journal, makeup remover. I mean, that's fine. Suds, oxygen, whitener. Well, I guess you got your 300 toothbrush for that. I don't know how this is gonna. Hydrogen peroxide.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Ultra concentrated bleach tablets, more throw pillows, toilet paper, garbage bags. These are okay, except more throw pillows. We're just getting throw pillows every five seconds.

[B]

Well, you're gonna see. Helps increase the rental thing.

[A]

Sun box, magnetic. IPhone, dumbassery light bulbs. Okay. It's a lot of. For the house. Yeah. Which is.

[B]

So I just financed a new phone.

[A]

Coffee.

[B]

The phone you're on is new. Needed a case.

[A]

What is it? It's just an iPhone, but it's not even anything good.

[B]

Same thing. No. Yeah, same, same. Smaller.

[A]

Oh, it's. Yeah. One. You got smaller. So this is certainly not the. What is it? What is this?

[B]

What model do you have? 17pro.ish.

[A]

You got the Pro. You got the small Microdic Pro. Okay, you got the Microdic Pro, and then you immediately ruined it with a phone case. Like, it's just, like, what's the point of even. You should have a phone kit. Well, your income. You actually don't. This is. Yeah. It's just so much. Endless. Endless. Cleaning, cleaning, cleaning. Well, because this house is way too expensive. You spend thousands on Amazon.

[B]

Yeah, but it's for supplies. I split it up.

[A]

Okay, Sapphire preferred. What's going on?

[B]

Sapphire preferred. Same. It's been locked since May.

[A]

What? No. There's 400 of purchases, you absolute beast.

[B]

No, Yeah, I haven't. I have. I did the same payment program.

[A]

Lies.

[B]

No, really lies. Not true lies.

[A]

$400 of purchases.

[B]

Must be interest.

[A]

Oh, my gosh. Since I even purchased this, it's worse.

[B]

Is it interest? No, no. What is it? Oh, is it? What is it?

[A]

Don't tell me it's two return payments because you didn't have enough money in your checking account when your payments hit.

[B]

Yeah. Ooh.

[A]

Two returned.

[B]

No way. Can I see that?

[A]

You are a disaster. Quarter million dollars a year plus more homeowner, less position beyond belief, and you're destroying it. You. What is wrong with you? You owe on this $5672.57, the minimum monthly payment of $132.

[B]

See? But. But I put it in a payment plan.

[A]

You're over the limit to $72.57. You 260$216 pieces here. $533 of interest. Here's the return payment fees.

[B]

Can I see that?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Ooh, ooh. I got to make a call. Make a call and see if I can get that back.

[A]

No, the return payment fees, they're not living fees. They're return payment. You're.

[B]

Yeah. Total fees. Dang. It doesn't look good with the mortgage behind.

[A]

Yeah, maybe I'll get you an accounting certification through course careers. Cuz listen, you don't even need the certifications for your job because you're already in the place everyone's trying to get to. Most people get the course career certifications to get to the place you're getting. But I'll get you an accounting one because you're broken. You don't know how to do anything numbers related. So I'll get you.

[B]

You know I have a finance degree.

[A]

Huh?

[B]

I have a finance degree. We're not gonna talk about it.

[A]

USAA Visa card. What is going on?

[B]

That's fine. It has. It's a new purchase.

[A]

It was $1,613.50.

[B]

That's the only card that's open. It has a $500 limit that like that I'm able to use.

[A]

Okay, you're at $299. Cuz you put some money towards it. Once you've purchased it takes two years to pay that off. $18 minimum payment. What are we doing here? Task rabbit receipt. You're task rabbiting people. Tiff treats, cookies, pvc.

[B]

Hayward. That's for the rental. It's for the rental. We give cookies after every stay.

[A]

You can't afford the rental. You're already losing on the rental.

[B]

He told me. Sucks. Well, you got to give cookies so then they don't think about how bad the house is. You put it right before the reveal.

[A]

You shouldn't have gotten a shitty house. Magic helpers. Magic helpers. These are all the cleaners.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, my dick. Workshop. Amazon. Going in against bullshit Amazon return payment fee. Two cards in a row. I don't know how you're going to survive. You're giving up everything. You're giving up your entire.

[B]

It's ambitious that I try to pay this.

[A]

A utility payment. What am I seeing here? What? I see utility news.

[B]

But that's. That's. That's bad.

[A]

What is this? What is this? What is this? Possibly. What is this.

[B]

I owe 2200 to Austin Electric.

[A]

How you make so much money? Oh, how do you keep that?

[B]

We were trying to grow grass at the Airbnb and then they left the water on, and now it was like 800 one month, and then almost nine or something the next month, and things just add up. But now I'm on a payment plan. I only have to pay $36 back a month, plus my normal bill.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

I think that's interest free.

[A]

You owe them $2,761.76.

[B]

500 more than I thought.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. You tit.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And what, you have a payment on it of 642?

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Oh. $642 and six cents. I've never had awesome energy here.

[B]

Well, those guys.

[A]

You want to buy more Airbnbs, you can't even afford your elect. Hey, you can't even afford your own utilities. That's happening right now. What are you talking about? What are you talking about? What are you talking about?

[B]

How the dreams.

[A]

Big dream. You want to do all this? You don't know how to do anything. You don't know how.

[B]

Personal finance is easy, right? I know how to do the hard part.

[A]

Just. Yeah, budgeting. Budgeting is easy. You're not. So how the do you think you can the hard stuff?

[B]

I think I can figure it out.

[A]

What? You can't even figure out the easy stuff? How can you do the hard stuff?

[B]

It's all going to work out.

[A]

Listen, your Airbnb is literally losing money, and you want to get more Airbnbs? What?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

How does that logic make sense? Please.

[B]

It just does. I've studied.

[A]

No, it doesn't. Tell me. Tell me how.

[B]

I studied this for years.

[A]

You study it yet yours loses money. So please tell me how you make sense to get more.

[B]

Okay. I think that when the market changes in Austin and when they require a license, it's not going to be as heavy of competition. Right?

[A]

There's only when the market changes in Austin. Is that a city council required thing?

[B]

Yes, it happens.

[A]

I would rely on them. They have to vote on it.

[B]

It's already done. You have to get a license. And then come July, Airbnb will pull down every listing that's not licensed. It's done. It's happening.

[A]

Oh, okay. So more regulation.

[B]

And so there's out of 13,000 in Austin, there's only 2,000 that are licensed. So I know there's going to be a little bit of an increase.

[A]

Won't everyone just licen up?

[B]

No, they're going to cap it? They haven't said what the cap is, but it's going to be much less, I estimate.

[A]

Who's capping? Austin or.

[B]

Yeah, Austin.

[A]

Oh, so you're relying on that. Who knows? Why do you think you'll be in the cap?

[B]

Because you offer Airbnb. Well, I already applied for the license.

[A]

Have you been given the license?

[B]

No, but I applied for it, and there's still availability in my zip code. And so I just, like, have this vision if I can get all this debt paid off.

[A]

You had a return payment fee on your utility result.

[B]

Hey, I'm ambitious. At least I tried to pay. Ambitious.

[A]

Three in a row tried to pay. You don't have enough money in your checking account. You think you're gonna buy more real estate. You're broken. You're broke and you're dead. You're broke.

[B]

That counts.

[A]

Shut the up. You're done. You're done. I don't. I don't understand. I don't understand how your brain works. You try to do all these ambitious, entrepreneurial things, but you can't for your life do anything correct ever. What is one thing you've done well?

[B]

Done well? Try.

[A]

No, you're trying has been horrible. You have failed everything you've tried.

[B]

Okay, but at least I did it.

[A]

No, you haven't. You're failing.

[B]

I don't give a shit. At least I have that life experience. Like I would rather you look at.

[A]

Your life experience has lost it to 770,260 3,012 cents of debt.

[B]

I hear you, but I know I can pay it off. I know how to make money, girl.

[A]

You're getting return payment fees on the last three accounts so far. You know you can pay it off. You. That is you not paying it.

[B]

But I made a drastic change. I live in this shitty shithole box.

[A]

When was that?

[B]

I moved in in August.

[A]

Okay, listen, we're in.

[B]

No, Pepper, I try, but I'm trying. I'm trying.

[A]

No, trying without any results is not a high five. You. You're trying is failing. Meaning you're wrong. You're broken. You can't do anything correct. Okay, if you're trying to quit meth and you can't get off meth, you're not getting a high five for getting off.

[B]

Yeah, maybe I'm. I need to go to, like, Alcoholics Anonymous or Money Addicts Anonymous. You gotta. You have a group you can point me to.

[A]

You guys have to budget. You're trying to do everything other than what is the basic Necessity. That is it.

[B]

But that's like how I was taught. I was taught.

[A]

I don't give a fuck how you're taught. I was taught wrong, too. I was taught the moment I turned 18 to go max out a credit card to get a piano. That doesn't mean I'm going to be in when I'm 37. In seven years, I'm going to still be doing that. You've had a lot of year in adulthood, almost two decades now of adulthood, that you could have been figuring.

[B]

My dad became a doctor, decided to go to med school at 30.

[A]

I don't give a.

[B]

No, but that. But that means that at any moment I can. I can do something new with my life, like whatever. I believe I can.

[A]

Sherman, you're just waiting. You're 30. He did that at 30. You're 37.

[B]

Yeah. He didn't become a doctor or physician.

[A]

At 43, but he went there. You're not doing anything. You're just trying to. You're just trying to race to wealth. You're not doing the minimum required thing, which is just budgeting.

[B]

But at least I tried, you know? Okay, three. Three failed. Three failed companies, but at least I tried.

[A]

Three failed companies.

[B]

Yeah, I had a sandal company. I had an app that I got funded. Yeah, what was your app? It was like. It was called no Days Off. You can still see the book on Amazon. It's still for sale, but I got into was a book that. Then we got raised funds at an incubator.

[A]

What does the app do?

[B]

Well, that app failed.

[A]

What did it do?

[B]

It was like, remember P90X? It was like that, but with like a new trainer, new program.

[A]

Not a saturated market by any means.

[B]

Yeah, you know, I had hopes and dreams.

[A]

How much did you raise from the incubator?

[B]

At least 40,000. Not that much. But back in 2015, that was a. So it was like the up and coming of apps. Yeah, at least I tried. Yeah, I was gonna.

[A]

Yeah, at least you can try.

[B]

I made some really good stand.

[A]

Yes, you tried. Okay. And what was the third company?

[B]

It was Sandals. So I said, sandals.

[A]

Sandals app.

[B]

Sandals app. And then the Airbnb. Like being a realtor, but you're trying.

[A]

To do more Airbnbs.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You said three have failed, meaning you recognize that it has failed. How are you trying to do more?

[B]

There was more. There was an Amazon product.

[A]

How do you even have a Sandals company? What is the Sandals company? What are you doing?

[B]

It's called During. I went, yeah, Summer in Portuguese for worldly people. I went to grad school by force of my father. I was. That's another story. But it was my thesis project. So I overtook on my student loans during my mba, and I moved to Portugal and. And used all that money to start a sandal company. Hey, I had it for like four years. It worked.

[A]

What did you spend on the sandal company?

[B]

Oh, I couldn't even tell you. My parents gave me money. 150 to 200,000. Yeah.

[A]

What age did you do that at?

[B]

I was 28. No, 26.

[A]

No, a whole decade.

[B]

27. Like 27 to 31. That was the.

[A]

Okay, we'll call it to 31 then.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So let's see, at that point, to get to 65 at 31 would be 34 years old. 65. Let's call that retirement. $200,000 is what you spent. Do it. 8% conservative market return with $0 added on an annual basis. You lost yourself $3 million at retirement.

[B]

The experience is worth it.

[A]

Wait, you still owe the factories from owning the Santa. So. And that's worth it? No, it's not worth it. It was worth $3 million and you lost that.

[B]

But it's the experience. No, that's worth more than a 3 million.

[A]

Because the experience would be worth it if you weren't replicating it today. But you are. So clearly you didn't learn anything from that experience. Meaning you are actually even worse off. So you. You can't just use that as a cope. You. You did not learn from the experience. You're broken. You're wrong. You're destroyed. No.

[B]

Wasn't that why I'm here?

[A]

No, no, no.

[B]

They're nice sandals. I have a few pairs if anybody wants some.

[A]

Do you even have them here?

[B]

No, they're. Sorry. It's not polite.

[A]

Bring some to the Airbnb. We'll see her special sandals and all the Amazon purses. Oh, my God. Oh, my goodness. This is so good. You have student loans.

[B]

That's the grad school I talked about. That paid for. The sandals are ruined.

[A]

Now I think I know multiple reasons why no one's willing to reproduce with you. Look how insane this is. 118th. $118,000 $21.59. And what was your grad school?

[B]

It was more like a. It was a. Oh, she's past due.

[A]

On her student loans.

[B]

I got a. I got. I. No, I'm up to date.

[A]

No.

[B]

Is that past due?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What month is that? November.

[A]

Shut the up. You're past due. You usually owe 276 yeah.

[B]

Nothing. Mm.

[A]

Which by the way with that payment is gonna take an eternity to pay this off.

[B]

Never gonna pay that.

[A]

Because your minimum payment should be about a thousand five hundred dollars to pay it off in ten years.

[B]

Fifteen hundred.

[A]

This will be paid off when you die.

[B]

I guess in my mystery land I thought I'd use equity to pay it all at once.

[A]

What was grad school?

[B]

Grad school was awesome. My dad actually.

[A]

What did you study and where you absolutely beast.

[B]

No, my dad applied for me.

[A]

I don't. That's not my question.

[B]

I said seriously stupid mba.

[A]

You have an MBA from Sorbonne?

[B]

It's a. It's a really cool program. Three different schools. So one. One in Brazil, one in France and then Georgia state.

[A]

France, they don't know business to save their life. They have like a 10% unemployment rate. France. What are you learning from France? How to a country and destroy a civilization. France is done by the time we're in our 60s and smoke cigarette.

[B]

Cigarettes. Yeah. They know how to dress. Come on.

[A]

That's all they focus on.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Can't do. They have a completely collapsing population. Everything's ruined and they have no productivity.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And anytime they tried to actually change their social program structures to give them any kind of longevity as the civilization they protest, burn things down and then they can't make any changes. Yeah. That's where you're getting an mba. I would fire you the moment I learned that.

[B]

Strong opinion there.

[A]

It's not up an opinion. That is math. That is what is happening in that country. It's impossible to have an opinion on a fact. It is a fact.

[B]

Okay. You ever been there?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's all I got.

[B]

That's all I got for you.

[A]

Well done.

[B]

I don't agree with your opinion, but we'll leave it there. I'm sorry, you're fact.

[A]

Well, yes.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Their productivity is stagnated for years. They have to borrow to pay for their social safety nets. They have a declining population. They can't pay for their things. It is mathematically likely to turn into what the UK is right now within about two decades. And by the time we are retired, France today will not be what France has been known best. Hundred years. I think that is not an opinion. Okay. But your interest rates are 70.

[B]

They're happy. They live different lives.

[A]

They're happy right now because they're funding it all with debt. Their debt to income ratio is 110% debt to GDP ratio. Now we're able to do that in the United States because no One's going to with us world reserve currency. No one's going to with us. France, they can't maintain that. That's going to be the. They're going to be the new Greece. They're going to have to get a bailout from the uk, from the European Union. But an economy that is like the third largest or second largest in the EU compared to Greece is going to destroy the whole thing. Good luck. Yes, they're happy now because they're funding in debt. They're not going to be happy when they can't pay for it anymore and their whole social safety net collapses.

[B]

10 week vacation, that's what happens with.

[A]

The UK right now. Now they can't afford any of it anymore. It's completely destroyed. They're having a brain drain in every way possible. All skilled people are leaving unskilled are coming in they can't afford. And now the NHS is being absolutely destroyed. A social program that makes them happy now it's not funded in your medically worse care, worse cancer care there than many places in South America. In the UK right now that's what happens. Happy you. It won't be happy in about 20 years. It doesn't work. What? What is this? $26,510.68 of loan balance with credit union of Texas.

[B]

It's a nice car, that's what it is. Oh yeah. You know, I was a new realtor and I wanted a drop top Mercedes convertible.

[A]

Oh, you're the one.

[B]

I had to paint the image.

[A]

Mercedes. Mercedes what?

[B]

That's outside. Outside. So it's only 2018, but it looks nice. Night Night Edition. All black? Yeah.

[A]

What do you think it's worth?

[B]

Nothing. 20 grand?

[A]

23. So at least your negative equity is only a few thousand. You're actually kind of lucky on that. In fact what I would do if you're really trying to speed this up, is sell it, borrow the difference and get a $10,000 car on debt. That's what I would do. You don't do any realtor stuff anyway, so it doesn't matter.

[B]

Shut the upsessa. The house and the car you can't touch. No, no, no, no.

[A]

Why are we having this conversation if you're not willing to make any sacrifices? I don't get it. You're not willing to do anything. You know you have a problem, you try to do quick, get rich quick and not make any sacrifices. Not willing to get rid of things that you like in order to live a better life. You're going to be forever You're a disaster. You are a literal walking disaster. And no shit, no one's willing to settle down with you. Are you surprised? I not.

[B]

Maybe I just need to make more, right?

[A]

Like, no, dude, you already make a quarter million. You make a quarter million, you make three times 400.

[B]

No, you mean I can support this. I have a newer car.

[A]

Shut the up house. Shut up. You make three times the median household income in the United States. You are worse off than the median household in the United States because if you make more, if you get a 10 raise, you will raise your spending by 15%. That is how people like. Yes. You can't say no. You make a quarter million dollars, if not more, and you have it. Your mortgage is a third of your net income, and yet you It. This is all. No, no, you cannot earn your way out of this. You are ruined. You are ruined. And you're not willing to sacrifice to do shit. You're not willing to get rid of a car that's honestly not even that nice.

[B]

I'm in the apartment, though. You know, That's a sacrifice, kind of.

[A]

But that was just so you can keep your house. Because you're not willing to sacrifice your house. Yeah, so that's not a sacrifice in my book.

[B]

So the car's gotta go, huh?

[A]

It's a way to get there quicker. What's your minimum payment on this car? Because I can't even find it.

[B]

It's 590.

[A]

Yeah, 596.

[B]

I bought it during COVID Where you didn't have to pay for the first six months.

[A]

No, your interest rate is fine at 4.3, 3.4%. Yeah, but the thing is. Late charge. Leech. Too late.

[B]

Hey, no, they gave me a little payment. They gave me a month off back in August. No payment.

[A]

Quarter million dollars and nothing.

[B]

See? I'm getting ahead.

[A]

You've talked about your mother in the past tense. Is she not with us anymore?

[B]

No, she's with us.

[A]

And dad.

[B]

Dad's here.

[A]

They must be desperately disappointed.

[B]

That's what the NBA was for. They're like, just go get this, and you're not a problem.

[A]

What? But you paid for it with your student loans.

[B]

No, they. They. It was more than that. That school was almost 180. 190. They made me.

[A]

Do you have siblings?

[B]

I have one brother.

[A]

Oh, thank goodness. Please tell me he's doing okay.

[B]

He's doing better. He's.

[A]

I'm glad they have something to lean on, because you are the worst version of a child other than a Drug addict. Because you're just. You're addicted to horrible ambition. Because you have ambition. That is not a bad thing. But you can't do shit you can't figure out. You're not willing to do the minimum things that are required to do anything. You want to jump right to the end goal of being this massive Airbnb empire, but you can't do sandals. Golf off sandals. I don't even remember the other thing you did. It was so stupid. And then Realtor, like, just off.

[B]

Okay. I mean, you're, you're right to have your opinions. I still don't agree.

[A]

Why? Why don't you agree? What is there going for you?

[B]

For me? It all still comes back to the experience. Money's not everything.

[A]

Experience is learning based on it and then putting in actions in the future. You haven't learned from anything. Look what you're doing today. You're not willing to give up your house. You're not willing to give up your car, you, experience. You haven't learned from any experiences. That's how they become valuable. Yours are not valuable because you're not doing. You're repeating the same mistakes over and over again. For two decades now.

[B]

I turned off the cards. I moved into a smaller apartment. That's.

[A]

You got the cards turned off on you because you're.

[B]

No, I did it.

[A]

Maxed out.

[B]

I called and I did it.

[A]

Not all of them.

[B]

The two. Yeah.

[A]

Then you have late fees on all the other ones.

[B]

Hey, at least I tried to pay.

[A]

Tried this word try with you. You haven't tried. You.

[B]

I don't see a way out. I really don't. If I don't get that job in, in January, I'm screwed.

[A]

No, with the job, you're screwed. Without the job, you're.

[B]

Hmm.

[A]

That's all your d. Okay. She's overdrafting on her checking account. $174 overdraft fee this year so far, making a quarter million dollar. I don't. I, I, I, I, I don't get this. I'm sorry. Travel. Customs. Travel. Amazon. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my goodness. Coffee and eat. Zelling. Venmoing. Venmoing. Going in and getting some bullshit. What are you going in and getting some bullshit for a few dollars for when you stop somewhere like a gas station or an heb. What are you getting?

[B]

Snacks. Convenience.

[A]

Stop buying bulk beauty bar not helping you get laid. Venmo. Amazon. Amazon. Bullshit.

[B]

Yeah. I had a vape problem.

[A]

Medici coffee. You have a what?

[B]

I had a vape problem.

[A]

Had.

[B]

Had.

[A]

Had.

[B]

It slowed down. We're on tantics. Yamadichi. See? Nice. Austin. I think I'm doing great. How negative is that?

[A]

You think you're doing great?

[B]

How negative is it?

[A]

You think you're doing great? Then you what am I doing here? What am I doing here? What am I doing here? You think you're doing great.

[B]

I wanted you to help me see you.

[A]

You think you're doing great. You're not willing to budge on anything. You're not willing to sacrifice anything. You're continuing your ambition of stupidity and being defensive about everything. Thinking your experiences been actually worth it. You're not learning. You're not doing. You're a failure. And you're disgusting as a human being. Making 250,000 hours a year. Other people can only dream of that. And yet you're destroying it. You're throwing it away and you're milking the system. You're. You're going to use bankruptcy as a legal. As a legal offering that is there to actually help people. You. But you just lived up life and you're just going to throw it away. Throw it away. Abuse the system. Look at all spending, ladies and gentlemen. All spending the Hampton Social die spending. Oh, look at guys. Look at all this. Look at all this.

[B]

Can't be that bad.

[A]

Shut the up. I'm done. Look at all this. You Monarch. You. You. You Monarch. Especially you. Dollar wise is better. You. You. All this. All this. Look at all. Look guys, just look at all this is. What a joke. What a joke.

[B]

What is that wealth front.

[A]

What a joke. Shut up. Stubhubs just die. Look at all guys. All this. All this. Instead of actually paying her mortgage, she deserves to lose the house. I hope they take it from her. All this. She's not willing to change anything. All this spot you look at smoking vape. All this guys. Another whole page. Nor some you die. Car wash. You die. Uber eats. Uber eats. Die die. Die. Die. Die. Die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die. It keeps going.

[B]

If I was dating someone, maybe he'd buy cover the food.

[A]

This is so stupid. Look at all this bullshit. Look at all this stupid. Nordstrom.

[B]

So I had to look good for work. I had to fly to San Francisco.

[A]

50,000 in Roth IRA at 60 at your income scale is disgusting. You make. You are so far behind. You're so. And you're not willing to sacrifice. And I'm. I. There is no point of me continuing this conversation or doing anything, okay? Because you're just done. You have no hope. You're a failure. You disgust me as a human being. I hope you do better. Good. The luck. I hope you. Whatever. Well, listen, the post show is going to be looking at her Airbnb and I. Oh, good. You actually owe tax money. We'll talk about that in the post show because I'm so done right now. Click that join button to join the post show. Three premium shows every single day. Hammer Financial scores.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

You Hammer Financial schools.

[B]

We starting fresh. Okay, sorry. Hold on.

[A]

I'll see you guys there. A wingstop box has been sitting there. Don't ask me how I know that. It's a wingstop box. And the. The fully filled gutters and the. The rotting pumpkin. Because you don't live here. Who's spending all the time watering these plants?

[B]

I have someone come and do it and I pay 100 bucks a month.

[A]

You budget that in. I sort of spend money on that.

[B]

You know, budget Neighbors?

[A]

No. Black neighbors? No.

[B]

Back.

[A]

Join us Saturday, January 31st for Hammer Elite Day. A five hour live stream featuring all of your favorite shows. But done live with you. See you there.