The CRAZIEST Reveal In Financial Audit History

Summary

Financial Audit Podcast: The CRAZIEST Reveal In Financial Audit History

Host: Caleb Hammer
Guests: Luna (23, fast food shift manager), Alphonse (29, line cook, veteran)
Date: March 2, 2026

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Overview

This episode of Financial Audit dives deep into the chaotic finances and tumultuous relationship of Luna and Alphonse, an engaged couple from Tulsa, Oklahoma. What begins as a standard budget breakdown quickly unravels into one of the most jaw-dropping, drama-filled interviews in the show’s history. The episode veers from money management disasters to relationship betrayals, blending harsh financial truths with shocking personal revelations. Caleb’s signature bluntness is on full display as he tries to untangle why Luna and Alphonse can’t pay their bills—or trust each other.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Introductions & Jobs

• Luna: 23, fast food shift manager, makes $15.25/hr, about 35–40 hrs/wk (~$1,863/month after tax).
• Alphonse: 29, line cook at Chili’s, $15/hr, part time (limited by a knee injury), $300 every two weeks (~$650/month), also does DoorDash for extra cash.
• Additional work: Both supplement income with DoorDash, but can’t make ends meet.
• Luna: “I get paid every week. $443 a week.” (04:09)
• Alphonse: “I make $15 an hour and I work three days a week because I am disabled. I have a broken knee.” (06:11)

Financial Situation

• Income is barely enough to cover rent and essentials, yet they routinely overspend.
• DoorDash: Alphonse nets $250/week post expenses; Luna about $100/month.
• Spending patterns: Almost all meals are eaten out—roughly $1,000/month; virtually no groceries.
• Loans and credit: Multiple payday loans (one with 145% APR), maxed-out credit cards, collection accounts, late bills, and a nearly non-existent savings account.
• Car payments: Two cars—$14k and $13k notes, $540 and $440 monthly payments at 18% interest (!!).
• Utilities and bills: Routinely paid late; Luna uses personal loans to “pay rent” that they don’t actually pay.

Notable Quote

Caleb: “You’re spending a thousand dollars going out to eat and then not paying 800 rent. You should get evicted... Instead… you eat out every single meal. Your priorities are whack. That is on you.” (14:11)

Relationship Dynamics & Communication

• High conflict: Finances cause frequent arguments; both accuse the other of irresponsible spending.
• Luna: Claims to understand her spending, keeps tips cash to herself, spends much on fast food and small impulsive purchases (Amazon, games).
• Alphonse: Claims to handle the “main bills” but does not; often forgets about bills.
• Financial secrecy: Separate bank accounts after a breakup; trust issues linger.

Notable Quote

Caleb: “You are not able to define what is going on in this relationship very well at all.” (01:59, repeated theme)

Explosive Infidelity Reveal (The “CRAZIEST” Segment)

The Cheating Timeline

• Previous infidelity: Luna sent explicit photos to at least two men (Snapchat, Discord) during the relationship; “nudes to both, at the same time.”
  • Quote: Caleb: “You sent him tits and vagina. It’s not even just tits. Pussy, pussy.” (33:25)
• Continued contact: Luna continues to Snapchat with both men, plus several others, some male “friends” from high school and previous jobs.
  • Quote: Caleb: “You’re just telling me you can’t remember? Whole deflection and refusal to take accountability bullshit.” (21:19)
• Living in total surveillance: Alphonse has access to her phone, chats, and can monitor calls via a camera setup—but trust is shattered.
• Serial patterns: The show exposes Luna’s history of cheating even before Alphonse, including starting their relationship via infidelity with a previous boyfriend.
• Family warnings: Alphonse’s past partners also cheated on him; he admits to a pattern of staying with unfaithful partners, rooted in fears of loneliness.

Sexual Openness & Kinks

• Sexual routine: Sex is now infrequent (“once or twice a week if I initiate”) despite Luna describing herself as “addicted” in the past year.
• Open relationship proposals: Alphonse proposed a threesome/open relationship (mainly to introduce another woman); Luna said “that’s a possibility” but conversation faded.
• Explicit revelations: “He gets extremely turned on when I cry, so I can’t cry around him.” (78:19)

Notable Quotes

• Caleb: “You are a cheater.” (37:30)
• Luna: “I’m not going to deny it, but I have changed.” (37:32)
• Caleb (on Alphonse): “You will not leave. That is why you won’t leave. How does that make you feel?” (71:53)

Broader Financial Shenanigans

• Payday/Installment Loans: Several, each with massive interest rates.
  • Check N Go at 145% interest.
  • CC Flow, Quick Credit Connect loans taken for rent and bills.
  • Many late fees, some months with more paid in fees than toward principal.
• Collections & Credit Damage: Car repo, community college unpaid, student loans in default, multiple cards maxed with long histories of late or missed payments.
• “Budgeting” and Future Plans: Wildly unrealistic dreams of buying a manufactured home in Mississippi for $45k with $100 in savings—while already unable to pay current rent and utilities.
• Tools: Caleb heavily pushes Dollarwise (budgeting app), repeatedly noting they need the clarity it offers, not just more debt.

Emotional Toll & Family Dynamics

• Alphonse’s personal history: Former helicopter mechanic (military); medical discharge, denied VA benefits, disabled knee.
• Child from previous marriage: Alphonse’s ex-wife cheated, left, and got custody of their son. He hasn’t seen his son for two years due to financial constraints and a stint in a psychiatric hospital after a suicide attempt.

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Memorable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• On Eating Out vs. Groceries:
  Caleb: “You’re literally crying about not being able to pay rent. Oh, victim me. But then you eat out every single meal.” (14:11)

• The Infidelity Bombshell:
  Alphonse: “She sent him nudes in 2023… two years ago.” (20:10)
  Luna: “I lowkey don’t even remember.” (21:14)
  Caleb (disbelief): “Two years ago, sending dude your tits and puss and hole, and you don’t remember?” (21:19)

• On Trust:
  Caleb: “How can you trust each other—finances—if she’s talking to a guy she sent pussy pics to?” (33:25)
  Luna: “I have not touched another man’s penis since we’ve been together.” (34:13)

• Financial Despair:
  Caleb: “How are you getting a manufactured house and land… when you can’t even pay $800 rent?” (51:18)

• Sexual Dynamics:
  Luna: “He gets extremely turned on when I cry, so I can’t cry around him.” (78:19)

• Alphonse on Staying:
  Caleb: “That is why you will not leave… she takes your dick, has big tits, is way beyond your league and you’re afraid of being alone.” (71:53)
  Alphonse: “Yeah, that’s about it.” (71:54)

• On the Debt Spiral:
  Caleb: “You overspent zero out of ten, debt… collections zero, ten, emergency fund—zero dollars… Hammer financial score zero.” (90:48)

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Timestamps of Major Segments

• [02:27]–[04:43]: Job, pay breakdown, living situation, engagement
• [06:11]–[11:05]: Disability, lost jobs, income struggles, DoorDash supplement
• [12:30]–[14:11]: Spending habits—eating out, no groceries, not paying rent
• [14:19]–[20:10]: Fights about bills, communication breakdown, cash tip “hideaway”
• [20:10]–[33:25]: CHEATING stories, Discord/Snapchat nudes, ongoing messaging with old flames, surveillance, trust destroyed
• [33:25]–[41:24]: Accusations, past cheating history, open relationship talk, why Alphonse stays
• [51:00]–[53:07]: Unrealistic house-buying dreams, why it can’t happen
• [53:13]–[62:45]: More debt exposure, payday loans, credit lines, non-stop late fees
• [71:53]–[72:03]: The real reason Alphonse won’t leave (“titty whipped” and afraid to be alone)
• [78:19]–[79:05]: Kink exposure—crying and sex
• [90:48]–[91:56]: Total Hammer financial score breakdown (spoiler: zeros across the board)

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Takeaways & Conclusions

• Serious Financial Dysfunction: The couple’s monthly spending wildly exceeds income due to fast food, convenience purchases, and unnecessary subscriptions—and is “plugged” by high-interest payday loans and late credit cards. They maintain multiple debts, with nearly all accounts either maxed, in arrears, or in collections.
• Unresolved Trust Issues: A string of infidelity, continued “friendship” with former hookups, and digital surveillance makes trust impossible. Caleb questions why Alphonse remains—and exposes that fear of loneliness and sexual availability play the core role.
• Personal Growth Stalled: Caleb repeatedly urges both to get career certifications, focus on higher income, stop eating out, and pay down debt. He suggests that, with current habits and income, bankruptcy is likely.
• The “Craziest Reveal”?: Luna’s ongoing connection to men she sent explicit images to—while Alphonse watches and surveils, unable to leave—makes this a relationship drama for the ages, one that distracts entirely from any hope of financial progress.

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Final Rating

Household Hammer Financial Score: 0/10
Relationship Stability: “You are a joke.”
Memorable Quote:
Caleb Hammer: “You guys have gone beyond debt. Beyond debt. You’ll never fix this. And I don’t know how you’re not homeless. You might need to move in with family. I don’t know. Guys. You need to improve your careers… Bankruptcy is likely in the future.” (90:53)

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For Listeners:

If you are struggling with both finances and trust, use this episode as a warning. You can’t fix money—or anything—without fundamental honesty, discipline, and respect for healthy boundaries.

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Transcript

[Caleb Hammer]

Close your eyes.

[Luna]

Exhale.

[Caleb Hammer]

Feel your body relax.

[Luna]

And let go of whatever you're carrying today. Well, I'm letting go of the worry that I wouldn't get my new contacts

[Caleb Hammer]

in time for this class.

[Luna]

I got them delivered free from 1-800-contacts. Oh, my gosh, they're so fast. And breathe. Oh, sorry.

[Caleb Hammer]

I almost couldn't breathe when I saw

[Luna]

the discount they gave me on my first order. Oh, sorry. Namaste. Visit 1-800-contacts.com today to save on your first order.

[Alphonse]

1-800-contact contacts. It's tax season, and at Lifelock, we know you're tired of numbers, but here's a big one you need to hear. Billions. That's the amount of money and refunds the IRS has flagged for possible identity fraud.

[Caleb Hammer]

Now here's another big number. 100 million. That's how many data points LifeLock monitors every second. If your identity is stolen, we'll fix it. Guaranteed.

[Alphonse]

One last big number.

[Caleb Hammer]

Save up to 40% your first year.

[Alphonse]

The Visit LifeLock.com podcast for the threats you can't control.

[Caleb Hammer]

Terms apply. To watch episodes of Financial Audit a week earlier, Check us out on YouTube. You are not able to define what is going on in this relationship very well at all.

[Alphonse]

Because last time we had a big fight was a couple weeks ago when she started talking to another man.

[Luna]

It was an old friend from high school.

[Caleb Hammer]

You didn't make it sound like a friend.

[Luna]

He can check my phone because I know he has his doubts.

[Alphonse]

But it did happen a couple of years ago. It's the same guy. She sent him in 2023. She told me she's only talked to him in discord, but that's just the voice. She still talks to him on Snapchat.

[Caleb Hammer]

Whoa.

[Luna]

And all of the messages are where

[Alphonse]

you can see them because I made it that way.

[Caleb Hammer]

Dollar wise is finally here, sending waves through the personal finance world. This is officially now the best budgeting app on the market. And I'm giving you a special deal to downlo download, but only through March 31st. Take a free three day trial to test it out. And then you get the monthly plan at a 33 discount for the first three months or the annual plan at an insane 50 discount. And with the annual, you get my budget friendly cookbook and my brand new 30 day detailed budget meal plan signed by me and mailed directly to you. After March 31st, the cookbook is going away forever. So this is literally your last chance. And if you're feeling extra sexy, become one of the founder 500 purchasers to get my founder box featuring a bunch of goodies plus lifetime access to Dollar Wise Premium. Don't miss the opportunity of a lifetime download Dollar Wise to start your free trial. Go to Dollarwise.com. or click the link below.

[Luna]

My name is Luna. I'm 23, I'm alons.

[Alphonse]

I'm 29 from Tulsa, Oklahoma.

[Luna]

And this is Financial Audit.

[Caleb Hammer]

Thanks for coming down to Austin, guys. What do we do in Tulsa, Oklahoma for a living? Let's start with you, Luna.

[Luna]

I work in a fast food restaurant.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, you do have fast food restaurant vibes in you. Like I, I don't know how to explain that, but it's like if I pull up to the McDonald's, you'd be the one white out of all the Mexicans.

[Luna]

Not quite McDonald's.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. You don't want to say which one and that's okay.

[Alphonse]

Right. I'm assuming drive through based.

[Luna]

Drive through based.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. Solely drive through stalls.

[Alphonse]

Uh huh.

[Caleb Hammer]

Gotcha. Okay, what do you do? What's your position there?

[Luna]

I'm a shift manager.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, so maybe making some money. I tell people what to do. Hopefully that's a little more money. Oh, I see we got a cute couple.

[Alphonse]

Sure.

[Caleb Hammer]

I didn't notice this when we were in. Yeah, hopefully we're in love then. That'd be good. I don't want people on who aren't in love. So what do you make in this position?

[Luna]

Right now I make 1525, but.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, Tulsa, it's not one of the more expensive cities, so 1525 certainly stretches further than like 1525 in Austin or Dallas or Atlanta. So. Okay, 1525. How many hours a week you get

[Luna]

in 35 to 40.

[Caleb Hammer]

I said 35 to 40. Why is it not 40? You're the schedule manager. Schedule yourself for 40.

[Luna]

I have a manager above me that does the schedule. And we're not supposed to have overtime technically, so she tries to schedule. She schedules 40 hours, but we have to take breaks. So if I don't take all of my breaks, I get closer to 40. If I take all my breaks, I get closer to 40.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. So hits your account per pay cycle?

[Luna]

I get paid every week. And what's that hit it hits on Friday.

[Caleb Hammer]

No.

[Luna]

443 a week.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, thank you. 430 a week. 4:30 a week is actually kind of brutal times 52 divided by 12. I'm going to say that's $1,863 a month, NAT average.

[Alphonse]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Some weeks are. Some months are longer, more weeks, some are shorter.

[Alphonse]

Her health insurance is over expensive compared to other places. It's. She's getting screwed with health insurance.

[Caleb Hammer]

You guys not married?

[Alphonse]

Not yet, no.

[Caleb Hammer]

Are you getting married? How long have you guys been together?

[Alphonse]

We've been together five years. I proposed officially last year.

[Caleb Hammer]

We're engaged.

[Alphonse]

Y.

[Caleb Hammer]

When you get. Congratulations. When are you guys getting married?

[Alphonse]

We don't know yet.

[Caleb Hammer]

We're okay.

[Alphonse]

We got to figure out Chili first.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, I want a big so. Cuz $1863 ain't going to make you very far. So Mr. Alons, you better be making a shit ton. Please tell me, what do you do?

[Alphonse]

I'm a line cook part time.

[Caleb Hammer]

You also look like that. You guys look like your jobs.

[Alphonse]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

I don't know how this is possible, but you look at your job. Well, that's good. What kind of line cook? I. I look, if you love cooking, what kind of cooking?

[Alphonse]

Burgers.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. Is it like an Applebee's? Yeah.

[Alphonse]

Type. Yeah, it's Chili's.

[Luna]

Hi, welcome to Chili's.

[Alphonse]

Oh, well, same thing. They're the same exact thing.

[Luna]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Hey, if you love cooking.

[Alphonse]

I do.

[Caleb Hammer]

It's not the place I'd be. Cause isn't it a lot of it like frozen? But that's okay. I researched. Yeah.

[Alphonse]

Chef Mike is used a lot. He's. He's our best friend.

[Caleb Hammer]

Mike is used a lot.

[Luna]

If we need more time away from each other and doing work, we do doordash.

[Caleb Hammer]

If you need more time away from each other. Yeah. So we need more time away from each other. The people that are engaged. Maybe that's why we got cool down. Are you guys fighting a lot?

[Alphonse]

Depends on the week. But yeah, there's some things that she yells at me about and I yell at her about and yell.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, it's not necessarily the greatest too

[Luna]

bad, but it's not great.

[Caleb Hammer]

It's not too bad, but it's not too great. That meant absolutely nothing.

[Alphonse]

So our finances is what's putting the strain on it the most?

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, I would say so. That's why you're here before you have to say that yourself. What do you make in this position?

[Alphonse]

I make $15 an hour and I work three days a week because I am disabled. I have broken knee. I have a chunk of my kneecap missing.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why are you working a standing up job?

[Alphonse]

Because it's the only thing I can get. I used to work as a forklift technician and I lost that job because I needed knee surgery.

[Caleb Hammer]

But you already had it, right?

[Alphonse]

Yeah, I had it last year.

[Caleb Hammer]

Get A forklift job again?

[Alphonse]

I actually went there yesterday or today.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, same place. But Tulsa's not a micro dick town. I'm sure there's other places with forklifts.

[Alphonse]

Yeah. The place I used to work at is one of the biggest forklift dealers in the United States. Even the world. They offered me the best benefits and the best dollars per hour for Tulsa.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, three days a week. How many hours are you working though? What's your pay?

[Alphonse]

By about $300 every two weeks.

[Luna]

That's why there's door dash.

[Alphonse]

That's why there's door dash.

[Caleb Hammer]

Then just do door dash, dude. All the time. It would be great if $300 every.

[Alphonse]

It'd be great if people would order more.

[Caleb Hammer]

Was it 300 every week or every other.

[Alphonse]

Every other week.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, dick. Okay, so it's 600 bucks. What are we even doing? That's not even money.

[Alphonse]

It's not money. But it's. It's. It's what I can do.

[Caleb Hammer]

I mean, it is what you can do, but you can also do customer service sitting down. I don't.

[Luna]

It's better than when he was off in his recovery and not working.

[Alphonse]

Oh, yeah. I was unemployed for six months.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, yeah. Were you on any kind of disability?

[Luna]

No.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why?

[Alphonse]

They denied me because I can quote unquote work.

[Caleb Hammer]

Even though you were recovering from your surgery?

[Alphonse]

Yeah.

[Luna]

Yep.

[Alphonse]

Because. Yeah. Social Security does not want to pay out.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, well, they pay out a lot to a lot of people, so I don't know how you that up. I'll be honest. But either way, you're like the first person in the history of financing audit to ever get denied for any kind of benefit to have for your entire.

[Alphonse]

I went to the VA yesterday and they also denied me va. Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

You were in the military?

[Alphonse]

I was.

[Caleb Hammer]

What'd you do?

[Alphonse]

I was a helicopter mechanic.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. That's kind of cool.

[Alphonse]

It was cool up until I was discharged.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why were you discharged?

[Alphonse]

Medical reasons.

[Caleb Hammer]

What medical reasons?

[Alphonse]

Bronchitis. And because Obama was making cuts to the military, they used that to discharge me.

[Caleb Hammer]

Have cuss in the military. Have we ever had cuts in the military? What are you talking about?

[Alphonse]

Obama made the most cuts in the military and they were actually starting to

[Caleb Hammer]

budget cuts or they were just relocating where money is. I'm pretty sure we only ever increase military costs in this country.

[Alphonse]

I mean, mostly.

[Caleb Hammer]

I mean, I need to fact check myself, but that is so pretty much what we do.

[Alphonse]

Yeah. No, don't ask me when. When Obama's office. It was about $800 million for the military budget. And then when Trump took office, it tripled to like $3 trillion for military budget.

[Caleb Hammer]

What are you talking about? So when I don't have a $3 trillion military budget?

[Alphonse]

Pretty sure we do.

[Caleb Hammer]

I'm pretty sure it's like 800 billion. And like for the first time ever, he proposed a trillion dollar one.

[Alphonse]

Sometimes, yeah, it's latism. If I'm wrong, I'm wrong.

[Caleb Hammer]

Also the bronchitis, was that due to the military?

[Alphonse]

Yeah. So when I was in Virginia for training, I ended up getting pneumonia and I pushed through it and it transformed into bronchitis.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. And the va well, what. What did you try to claim disability on with the VA the other day? This is the first time in the history.

[Alphonse]

Yeah, I went there to use my GI bill because I'm going to school for cybersecurity. And I went to.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, thank goodness. You do have to do something. I'll get you a course career certification in cybersecurity.

[Alphonse]

I'll do that to online college halftime to get my cybersecurity degree. So I went to.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why are you half time you're working nothing. Why are you only half time working full time?

[Alphonse]

What are you doing between doordash Chili and I would just stop.

[Caleb Hammer]

The Chili's things do for my college. Really? With your like 5 hours a week?

[Alphonse]

Yeah. You just have to work there for a minimum of 10 hours a week to qualify for their tuition assistance.

[Caleb Hammer]

Not bad. Go for work for Chili's, guys.

[Alphonse]

Yeah, no kidding. So when they told me that, I was like, hell yeah. Because my brother is in cybersecurity. He was in air force for seven years. He makes $115,000 a year working for Microsoft.

[Caleb Hammer]

That's cyber security.

[Alphonse]

So he told me. It's like, dude, if. If you can't work because you're knee, go into cybersecurity. So I was like, hell yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Hell yeah.

[Alphonse]

Hell yeah, brother. So when Achilles told me they do a tuition reimbursement, I decided to do that. And it's about for tuition. It's like $1,000, $1,200.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, the reason you guys get at each other's throats though, is because you're not paying rent. How do you not pay rent? Don't you want a roof over your head? I think you want a roof over yet you can't just not pay rent.

[Alphonse]

I don't choose not to pay rent.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, kind of maybe. What's your rent?

[Alphonse]

800.

[Caleb Hammer]

Then you choose not to pay rent because you guys bring in $2,500 with before DoorDash. So you're choosing not to pay rent?

[Alphonse]

$2,500.

[Caleb Hammer]

I don't care what it feels like. That's the number. You're choosing not to pay rent. You. What are you talking about? You are choosing not to pay rent.

[Alphonse]

We have been able to pay rent up until this month.

[Caleb Hammer]

But why? That doesn't make any sense. It doesn't make any sense. You got your, your rent paid for three months.

[Alphonse]

For the first three months.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, well, there you go. So you have gotten support. It's not like you're just on the hook. Like we're just leaving you to dry and die for what it's worth. And, and now you can't pay rent. Even though, I mean, listen, 800 for your guys income. It's not absolutely great, percentage wise, but you could pay rent.

[Alphonse]

So between our car payments, our car insurance, and with all the utilities and

[Caleb Hammer]

specifically, and, oh, we eat out a lot. Well, $1,000 actually last month. You, you can't pay $800 rent. You, you, you think you need. You think. Listen, maybe you are entitled to certain benefits, but let's just get away from the entitlement for a second. You don't need that to pay your rent. You're not entitled to that for your rent. You don't need that. You're spending a thousand hours going out to eat and then not paying 800 rent. You're choosing not to pay rent. You should get evicted. Honestly, I don't want anyone to get evicted. I don't want people to be on the street. The reason maybe you should be because you're spending a thousand hours going out to eat when you're not paying rent. Instead.

[Alphonse]

The reason we eat out to eat is because we don't have an oven that works.

[Luna]

And why do we not have an oven that works?

[Caleb Hammer]

You know, Chef Mike works real well. You use it all day at work.

[Alphonse]

Come on, do it at home.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yes, you can. Absolutely. You can get that pre prepared shit. Absolutely. 100%.

[Luna]

Lube works, just not the oven.

[Caleb Hammer]

Stovetop works. Then what the are we doing? You don't just have to use oven, by the way, if you're cooking like really good fresh food anyway, stove top typically does it. Unless you're getting like, what are you doing?

[Alphonse]

Induction stove. The induction stove. It's all electric.

[Caleb Hammer]

Like, what the is that? What are we crying about? We love a good flame. Yippee.

[Alphonse]

Yeah, I would love a flame.

[Caleb Hammer]

But you don't.

[Alphonse]

I don't.

[Luna]

Nope.

[Caleb Hammer]

Cook it on the stovetop, boil Your eggs on the stovetop. Cook your steak on the stove top between working.

[Luna]

Do you know how much groceries are? Yes, they're expensive.

[Caleb Hammer]

They're not as expensive as going out to eat.

[Alphonse]

They're about the same.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, they're not. Not even close. We do the math. We check it once a quarter. You. You. You can do 300 a person with meal prepping. That is 600amonth that you guys could spend. You're doing a thousand going out to eat, and then you get groceries on top of that. So go yourself. No, I don't think you guys did grocery shop. I don't even have groceries.

[Alphonse]

No, we don't go grocery shopping.

[Caleb Hammer]

Then you can't tell me ours are expensive. It's the same amount. You don't know what the you're talking about. And you haven't had an oven since you guys have moved in, which means you're not even working to even try to get an oven.

[Luna]

Him and Facebook Marketplace. That's where we got our oven.

[Alphonse]

Yeah, we got.

[Luna]

That's why off of Facebook?

[Alphonse]

Because the motherboard doesn't work.

[Caleb Hammer]

You know, every meal. That's actually crazy. You're literally crying about not being able to pay rent. Oh, victim me. But then you eat out every single meal.

[Luna]

You.

[Caleb Hammer]

Your priorities are whack. That is on you. And then it breaks down into arguments. What are the arguments? Go ahead, take me through one. What goes on in this household? How are finances communicated? What gets to this big, big fight that you guys have to cool off?

[Luna]

Usually he forgets about one of his bills, and then he cries about it as soon as he finds out.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, he seems to cry about everything that he's irresponsible about.

[Alphonse]

I focus on all of the main bills. I with my paychecks. I pay the rent, utility, gas, electric.

[Caleb Hammer]

You do not. In fact, Actually, I would suggest. But continue.

[Alphonse]

All of the main bills is focused on. I pay all of that with my paychecks.

[Caleb Hammer]

Incorrect. Well, first of all, that's impossible. If you make $600, you can't pay an $800.

[Alphonse]

That's just.

[Caleb Hammer]

That's just what we talk about making

[Alphonse]

another almost $800,000 a month. Doing doordash.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. With the contractor taxes you need to set aside, by the way, and then gas and maintenance that are not included in that income.

[Alphonse]

I include gas, but not the maintenance.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, well, maintenance you probably should because you are putting in wear and tear on your vehicle, not just tires.

[Luna]

Late to get his oil change by like a thousand miles.

[Alphonse]

J. We can't afford it right now.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay? Every time you say that, I will ring up that you spent $1,000 going out to eat. That is a lie in oil change. What's an oil change go for?

[Alphonse]

I haven't had one of those. If I do my. If I do the oil change myself between the oil filter, the six quarts of oil.

[Caleb Hammer]

If it's just yourself, then what the. Why are you not doing it? You're a handyman. Do it.

[Alphonse]

I don't have. So I. When I do it myself, I go to my buddy's house because he's got the ramps to do it. But since we moved, he lives an hour and a half away.

[Caleb Hammer]

My. You just told Colton this morning when you guys got here. You haven't even paid a single month that was due. A single bill that was due last month. Utilities, rent, cards, everything. Yeah, all while you're going out to eat. This is disgusting. This is disgusting. Unknown spending and additional unknown spending. We don't know exactly what it is because it's at a place that's hard to tell if it's bullshit or not. And now that you guys said you don't get groceries, I know it's bullshit. That's an extra $700 of bullshit. And plus other large purchases. $600. You spent minimum on $2,200. $2,200 in one month while you're choosing not to pay utilities, rent, credit cards.

[Alphonse]

You.

[Caleb Hammer]

You irresponsible. You say you work, so you take care of the bills. You didn't take care of the bills last month. We're in this month and you didn't even take care of last month. What are you talking about? Big man who shows up to pay

[Alphonse]

the bills this month that we haven't paid yet. Everything this month.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why I have your spending. You guys are a joke. What's your thoughts on this? What's going on here, woman?

[Luna]

I'm just wondering where the money's going. Other than food. Other than food.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why don't you know? Why don't you sit down and look? Why don't you guys communicate? Take the bills, put them on the table. Look, plug them into dollar wise.

[Luna]

Look, I could ask him and he'll

[Caleb Hammer]

try and is that what happens? Is that what gets into the fight?

[Alphonse]

Yeah. So when we bring up finances, we argue about where the money's going. I tell her where my paycheck's going. She tells me where her paycheck's going, and we disagree.

[Luna]

But I have never been late on any of my personal bills because I know where my money is going.

[Caleb Hammer]

So it's just you skirting around where the money is going. It's you lying because she just said she knows where her money is going.

[Alphonse]

Yeah, because it's going to fast food just as like. Just as much as mine is.

[Caleb Hammer]

What is the fight? I'm confused on the.

[Luna]

I usually use my cash tips for our food.

[Alphonse]

What?

[Caleb Hammer]

So there's additional spending outside of the account.

[Luna]

Amazon, Steam games.

[Alphonse]

What about Amazon?

[Luna]

You get more stuff off of Amazon than I do?

[Alphonse]

No, we would buy the same on Amazon.

[Luna]

Last time I bought something, it was gamer subs.

[Alphonse]

So the last time you bought. You've bought something for people other than your cell phone or Amazon. When we're struggling with bills,

[Luna]

that was one thing. And it was Christmas.

[Alphonse]

It was more than just Christmas. When you have two friends that you bring up from your past, you buy them things just as much as you buy yourself things. And when it comes to. After you pay your bills, which is a lot of loans, once you pay those off, your money will go to food or your hair dye or.

[Luna]

I haven't bought hair dye in a year.

[Alphonse]

Or it would go to fast food just as much as mine would go as fast food. Like, you're just as guilty with fast food as I am.

[Luna]

I'm not saying. I'm not.

[Caleb Hammer]

What are you saying? What gets to the fight?

[Luna]

I'm confused.

[Caleb Hammer]

I'm Steam.

[Luna]

Where the money? Cause even though his bank account used to be our shared account, but I took my card that I used for that account and opened my own account.

[Caleb Hammer]

I'm still confused. You say you guys blow up, fight, and have to spend time away from each other. You are not able to define what is going on in this relationship very

[Alphonse]

well at all because last time we had a big fight was a couple weeks ago when she started talking to another man. And that's. And that's one of the recent fights we had. Another fight. We had.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, no, no, no. Hold on. No, you are not gonna brush past that. What the. It wasn't what the actual.

[Luna]

It was an old friend from high school. I told him.

[Caleb Hammer]

You didn't make it sound like a friend.

[Luna]

I have told him all conversation will be in discord so that he can see it. I have told him he can check my phone because I know he has his doubts about whether something's going to happen or not. I've told him it won't.

[Caleb Hammer]

Told him it won't. It's weird that we're even having this conversation. It's like nothing's gonna Happen.

[Alphonse]

But it did happen a couple years ago. It's the same guy. She told me she's only talked to him on Discord, but that's just the voice. She still talks to him on Snapchat.

[Caleb Hammer]

Whoa. Okay.

[Luna]

And all of the messages are where

[Alphonse]

you can see them because I made it that way.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, what the. Yeah. In no way whatsoever would any guy or gal want this person in the picture of the relationship. Wait, you guys have been together five years?

[Alphonse]

Yep, since 2020.

[Caleb Hammer]

She them two years ago.

[Alphonse]

She sent him nudes in 2023. So the reason she has her own bank account is because we separated for a few months after that, and so we ended up having our own separate finances.

[Caleb Hammer]

I don't think it was the finances that needed to separate after that.

[Alphonse]

Well, because we. We separated a couple months. Like, we went, what the is wrong?

[Caleb Hammer]

Why'd you do this?

[Luna]

I lowkey don't even remember.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, that.

[Luna]

I really don't.

[Caleb Hammer]

Two years ago, sending dude your tits and puss and hole, and you don't remember? You still. You're just telling me you can't remember? Whole deflection and refusal to take accountability bullshit. How do you remember this is one of the defining moments of the relationship? And now you're talking to this dude again, and you're telling me you don't

[Luna]

remember what happened yesterday?

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, shut the up. That is some of the dumbest bullshit excuses that anyone could ever say. What the is wrong with you? Why did you do this? And why are you talking to him again? Again, lady.

[Luna]

Why?

[Caleb Hammer]

What the. I blow the up, too. You suck with money. So you download a budgeting app. You start with the classic one Ynab, but everyone just deletes it because it's way too complicated to use. So you go to everydollar. That's Dave Ramsey, the personal finance guy, right? Well, they're going to force you to use it his way. That's not very personal. Finances. Rocket Money, they got a lot of commercials, but they're owned by Rocket Mortgage. Guess what they want to sell you in the end. Then there's the new guy on the block, Monarch. Hundreds of millions of dollars of private equity raising so far. I'm not insinuating Monarch will do this, but private equity doesn't have the best track record when it comes to private data. That's why I like Dollarwise. Built by these people just like you, for people just like you. No private equity, no gimmicks. Just the best budgeting app there is. Download it now, start the free trial. Dollarwise.com link in the description below. That's kind of stupid, I'll be honest. But what's not is actually getting a checking account that gives you free money. Free money. We like free money. You can get up to $350 in bonus cash right now when you sign up for the checking account that I use, Chime also, it makes your savings grow at a 3.5 APY interest rate. Guys, you can watch Financial Audit and get free money at the same time. Who would have thought? That's incredible. Check it out. Link in the description below. Sign up for chime. Get that 350 right now in your checking account.

[Alphonse]

I try to set boundaries with him. I told her that she can talk to him as long as what she told me. She wants me to trust her. And so.

[Caleb Hammer]

Hold on. By the way, I have absolutely zero confidence based on what she is using for these excuses right now. Oh, she's pissed. I can see it. She didn't know this was gonna come up, did she? I can see it on her face. No, she did not. Oh, she's cooking. Okay.

[Alphonse]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

So I mean, hey, maybe don't like cheat. I mean, be an open school. That's fun. We'll have a good open here and there. Except you weren't. It's the thing. I have zero confidence in the world right now. Zero confidence in the world with her. I can't remember what happened yesterday that he did not stick it in her.

[Alphonse]

So there was physically impossible because he is currently in the Navy and stationed. But yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

But how long was it happening?

[Alphonse]

That I don't know. All I know is when I found out and when I found out the messages, it was after the fact I was in dive school.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, it's cause you went through. You went through her phone?

[Alphonse]

Yes. Oh, I found out going through her phone.

[Caleb Hammer]

You had a suspicion.

[Alphonse]

I did. So the whole thing was.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why are you a cheater?

[Alphonse]

I would like to tell the story. When I read through the messages, it happened while I was in dive school. She was lonely because I was focusing on dive school and wanted something else. Wanted the attention. So she got the attention from two different guys, sent them both the nudes, to something and to get something. Cause she offered too. They didn't ask, she offered.

[Caleb Hammer]

Are they even good?

[Alphonse]

To me they are.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay.

[Alphonse]

And apparently to them they are. Because they saved it in Snapchat. That's how I found out. Because they saved it in the messages.

[Caleb Hammer]

Have you gone through and deleted those?

[Alphonse]

It saved on their end. I can't. She can't on her. She can't delete them because they haven't saved. So I can. It's still saved to this day. And I told her, I asked her why she opened that door because she told. She asked me why don't I trust her? And I said because it happened with him.

[Caleb Hammer]

Is that your phone?

[Luna]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Unlock your phone.

[Alphonse]

She talks to him on Snapchat and they. All they do is send pictures. And I have a set where the picture's saved in the chat and it's just. It's just pictures. There's no text. So. And.

[Caleb Hammer]

And you're okay with this?

[Alphonse]

I told her that I don't want her texting him on Snapchat.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, dude, he's a boy. Dude.

[Alphonse]

He's a boy.

[Caleb Hammer]

And you're allowing this? Look at this. He sent Blur the name. Blur the name, please chat. He sent a. Okay, I'm sexy kind of want a type of picture. And she sent a sexy I want the fuck picture. Dude, you're getting cucked right now. Okay? Why are you sending this to him? Huh? Why is this being sent?

[Luna]

You can go look at all my other friends. I send the same pictures.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, you guys sending back and forth. Is this not weird?

[Alphonse]

That is weird. I asked her why she does it. She says she doesn't know what.

[Caleb Hammer]

But they're. They sent nuke. They sent nudes back to each other. Sorry. They sent nudes back to each other. They're just sending devil horned photos of their faces back and forth.

[Alphonse]

Yeah, she thinks it's funny.

[Caleb Hammer]

Back at funny.

[Alphonse]

She thinks it's funny.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, that is such a cop out. That is such a cop out too. I get wet every time this happens. Don't with me. Come on, you tell me you don't get any. You don't want anything from him? No bullshit.

[Luna]

Maybe back then, yes, but as of right now, no.

[Caleb Hammer]

I don't believe you at all. You guys are just sending back and forth. That's all they do.

[Alphonse]

But she doesn't. She does that. She does that. She doesn't. The other friends. The other. Other friends don't do the same thing as. So she talks to two people. Her friend Cass that she used to

[Caleb Hammer]

fuck in high school, she's sending shirtless photos.

[Luna]

That's from two years ago.

[Alphonse]

That's the point.

[Caleb Hammer]

It doesn't matter. He's sending shirtless photos two years ago. You know what was happening two years ago? You guys were dating.

[Alphonse]

Now that's most voice that should have seen.

[Caleb Hammer]

So there's no offense, but I mean, you're kind of fat. I am, but me too. And she's texting this military hunk, you know, and she's sending, like, you know, this.

[Alphonse]

Yep.

[Caleb Hammer]

And stuff.

[Alphonse]

That's why we had the biggest fight, because I don't trust her.

[Caleb Hammer]

It's all men, men, men, men, men. She's sending. No, this doesn't happen. This does not happen with normal people. There's no women friends in there.

[Luna]

There is.

[Caleb Hammer]

No. No, no. Do you stop yourself right now for a second? You stop yourself.

[Alphonse]

Three. There's three women.

[Caleb Hammer]

There's. There's. There's. There's. Who's a man? There's. There's. There's. Finally, there's a woman. Then there's. Are you daddy?

[Alphonse]

I am Daddy.

[Caleb Hammer]

What the. Is this a loud. What the. Is that allowed?

[Alphonse]

Is I know for a fact a woman that is her best friend.

[Caleb Hammer]

Which ones have received nudes in here?

[Luna]

It was.

[Alphonse]

It was, I believe.

[Caleb Hammer]

Who? Who? Who? This guy.

[Alphonse]

No.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, the guy that you. Okay. This episode is brought to you by Indeed. Stop waiting around for the perfect candidate. Instead, use Indeed sponsored jobs to find the right people with the right skills fast. It's a simple way to make sure your listing is the first candidate. C. According to Indeed data, sponsored jobs have four times more applicants than non sponsored jobs. So go build your dream team today with Indeed. Get a $75 sponsored job credit@ Indeed.com podcast. Terms and conditions apply. So we already went through it. So you're still sending stuff to him? Who else got nudes?

[Luna]

He had a in three years ago.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, same time, three years ago. So this happened before the two years ago too. Wait, guys?

[Alphonse]

At the same time? It was the same guys the same time.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, and this guy, she sent. Okay, so she sent him nudes. Yes, she sent him nudes. Yet she is still slacking. Slacking. Screenshotting. I'm not screen recording.

[Luna]

Snap.

[Caleb Hammer]

Huh?

[Luna]

Snapchatting? Is that the word you're looking for?

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, she snapped him. Yeah, she's still snapping him now.

[Alphonse]

Yep.

[Caleb Hammer]

Who else in here?

[Luna]

Those are the only two.

[Caleb Hammer]

Those are the two?

[Alphonse]

Yep.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, good news. They're not in chat anymore. Did you force them to delete them?

[Luna]

That is a girl. Girl, girl, girl, girl, girl.

[Caleb Hammer]

And then the rest are dudes. And two of them you sent nudes to.

[Luna]

And girl. And girl.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, but two of them you sent nudes to. Do you not get that? Do you not get the chat? Am I the only one here?

[Luna]

I had.

[Caleb Hammer]

You're like, almost. You're actually okay with this somehow?

[Alphonse]

I am not okay with it then.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why do you allow this?

[Luna]

I had cut them out.

[Caleb Hammer]

The way you talk to these guys is crazy.

[Luna]

I had come to him and I said, these people are my friends if I don't send messages to them. They're your friends that you sent nudes to?

[Caleb Hammer]

Are they your friends? You sent nudes to them? Are they your friends? You sent nudes to them. Nudes to them. Nudes. All these men. All these men.

[Alphonse]

When we had the fight, I told her the only way I would trust her is if I can see everything. And this is why I sent in the chat to every picture they send back and forth gets sent into that

[Caleb Hammer]

chat for me to look draw the line, man. She's going to be talking to penis.

[Alphonse]

I told her like any texts that needs to be on discord or text. But yet she still sends texts to him in the Snapchat.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why'd you send nudes to them two years ago? Two people at the same time. And I have zero confidence she did not take any other dick.

[Luna]

So sorry. Spam call. I can show you exactly what the pic the link is. The link not gonna click on it.

[Alphonse]

But of it's fanview.

[Luna]

It's what started before downgraded. Of you had of used to.

[Caleb Hammer]

This is a used to. Of course.

[Luna]

Oh, don't.

[Caleb Hammer]

Sorry. I get it. Okay. Okay. I see. I thought you were clicking a link for him to pay. So what is this? Do you do this anymore?

[Luna]

No.

[Caleb Hammer]

Is it deleted?

[Luna]

Yes, I deleted it.

[Alphonse]

It's not deleted.

[Luna]

I swear. I deleted the account last month.

[Alphonse]

I opened. I went to the website to see if you're still uploading it and it's. You haven't been uploading, but it's still there.

[Luna]

I thought I deleted it.

[Alphonse]

I mean, you haven't been uploading, so I didn't bring it up. But it's not deleted.

[Luna]

Remember the login? If it's still active, that's saved.

[Alphonse]

Your login is saved. It is saved in the browser. Yeah, that's how I was able to log into it.

[Luna]

That's news to me.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why the is it still in chat?

[Luna]

It's saved on his end. I can't.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why would you not request to delete it? If he's going to be able to chat with him, why not request to delete it?

[Luna]

Because I. I'll do it. I forgot about it until he brought this conversation up.

[Alphonse]

When she started talking to him again.

[Luna]

When I started talking to him again.

[Caleb Hammer]

You brought it up to him.

[Alphonse]

So the way I found out she's still talking to him is I came home from work and she was on a discord call with him.

[Caleb Hammer]

How does that not make you just walk the out?

[Luna]

There was also a camera sitting right behind my shoulder in the corner of the room. So that he has access to. So he could hear the conversation.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, but that's not. That's such a get. That's. Oh, my. I don't know. I don't know. Colton, if your husband did this. Fiance. No, not a chance. Right? Not a chance.

[Alphonse]

So I told her that. I asked her why she even opened that door again.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. I mean, this shit's crazy. It is crazy. This shit's crazy. I mean, I'm sorry. That shit's crazy. You sent him tits and vagina. You sent him tits and vagina. You said vagina. It's not even just tits. Pussy, pussy.

[Alphonse]

We had a whole fight.

[Caleb Hammer]

And you would think so. And then this is happening again now. How can you trust each other? I'm sorry. To bring it back to finances. How can you trust each other? Finances. If she's talking to a guy that she sent pussy pics to. Who, by the way, again? And she didn't even say. No, I didn't. When I brought up the two people. I have zero confidence. She did not say, stick it in once.

[Alphonse]

Those people. She's never.

[Luna]

I haven't.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. Ants. This is. Cause it'll come out at some point in a relationship. This is the time now. This is the time. I know you wanna lie. I know you wanna lie.

[Luna]

I'm terrible.

[Caleb Hammer]

And you have beautiful blue eyes. I'm saying this as a compliment right now so that you could, I don't know, trust me for a second. In the five years, have you never once touched another man's penis? Do not lie. I don't believe that for a second. I really do.

[Luna]

I'm telling you, I have not.

[Caleb Hammer]

How many more people have you sent pictures to?

[Luna]

It was just those two.

[Caleb Hammer]

But why would you. Pussy, too.

[Luna]

She was away at dive school.

[Caleb Hammer]

And so that's an excuse. That. That makes it valid.

[Luna]

It. I'm saying it doesn't make it valid. I'm saying that like. I don't know why, but that's how it played out.

[Caleb Hammer]

You don't know why? You don't know why? What do you mean? Two guys at the same time? Two guys at the same time. Hold on, hold on. Open it again. Oh, okay. It's still here.

[Luna]

I was like. Did you turn it off or.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, well, he's sending shirtless photos. And then you said, nice. He Said thanks, and then you sent. Oh. Then you just sent the link out of the blue. Would you support me? What is it? Look at it. Google's being dumb. Won't let me sign it. Okay, I'll send you a screenshot of it. Okay. Damn. Okay. You good? I'm just at work right now. I'll check it out later then. The other guy. Where's the other guy? Who is it? This is crazy. Do you even send him nudes?

[Luna]

Oh, yeah, all the time.

[Alphonse]

I get the better ones.

[Luna]

You do get the better ones.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. I don't think this person has it saved anymore, does he?

[Alphonse]

I don't think he does, but I found out. But it was in there when I. When I looked also.

[Caleb Hammer]

Did you lose a lot of weight?

[Luna]

I've been between 110 and 130 my entire life.

[Caleb Hammer]

Huh.

[Alphonse]

I think it's because she got taller. She was.

[Caleb Hammer]

I don't know. Were you dating her at 12? Like.

[Alphonse]

No, she just got taller.

[Luna]

I got like, a couple inches taller.

[Caleb Hammer]

Have you ever been with anyone else during the relationship?

[Alphonse]

No, I have not.

[Luna]

But he has talked about an open relationship.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, that's okay. Talking and proposing is different than doing something without the consent of the other person. There's nothing wrong with open relationships if done properly and healthily.

[Alphonse]

I didn't bring up open, but I brought up bringing another person in if she was interested.

[Caleb Hammer]

Wait, that is. That is bringing up. You cannot equate bringing up to sending pussy to two individual men. Vaginal holes. Holes of the vagina.

[Alphonse]

Taco lips.

[Caleb Hammer]

And it was Harry. And they were there and they saw them.

[Alphonse]

They did.

[Caleb Hammer]

What the. How can there be any trust in this relationship?

[Alphonse]

We.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, I guess. Are you surprised? I guess you guys met via DD party where she was already dating someone else in the group.

[Alphonse]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, and she left the guy and you before they even broke up? No, while they were together. She. You.

[Alphonse]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

And you're surprised that she's potentially a cheater? She was you while dating the other guy.

[Alphonse]

So the only reason.

[Caleb Hammer]

My goodness.

[Alphonse]

She. When we. She told. She didn't say that she broke up with him until after.

[Caleb Hammer]

Wait, what the. Oh, you can. This cannot be. This episode is insane. Oh, my goodness. Yeah, I wouldn't combine accounts. I wouldn't be anywhere near. You might be a pleasant person in a lot of way, but you're a cheater.

[Luna]

I'm not going to deny it, but I have changed.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, but you've done it consistently because a co worker of his gave him a warning and said that you were Cheating on him and slept with her co worker's boyfriend. His co worker's boyfriend.

[Luna]

And I can tell you exactly what happened with that situation that was mad that I was doing better at my job and that our manager preferred me over you.

[Caleb Hammer]

Make her 15 an hour at a festival. This was a different job.

[Luna]

It was a different job.

[Caleb Hammer]

It was the job.

[Luna]

Coffee shop.

[Caleb Hammer]

I don't think she was that jealous enough to try to destroy a relationship.

[Luna]

She was. Because she moved down there specifically for the manager position and I was doing better at it than her.

[Caleb Hammer]

And who do you believe?

[Alphonse]

I believe her because her. Which her. Because I had a friend.

[Caleb Hammer]

Which Her. Really?

[Alphonse]

Yes.

[Caleb Hammer]

A co worker in a relationship told you that the person who is a serial cheater from her ex and to you. Him.

[Alphonse]

So the reason why I believe her is because I had a friend do a. Basically, he was a PI. I had him be a PI and verified everything.

[Caleb Hammer]

PI What? That she didn't go over again. That doesn't mean it didn't happen. PI can't do past. Other than if there's an entire archive online of them tweeting about, yeah, I took this dude's dick. Dude.

[Alphonse]

They had.

[Caleb Hammer]

Sorry.

[Alphonse]

So I was sent a video.

[Caleb Hammer]

You don't want it to be real.

[Alphonse]

I was sent a video. The chick that was trying to break up a relationship sent me a video of her boyfriend. Another girl. And yeah, she sent me a video

[Caleb Hammer]

that was another girl. Sounds like he's a cheater too, by the way.

[Alphonse]

Yeah, no, he was. He actually gave her the clap because he was like two different women.

[Luna]

And I even. Okay, it's coded because that lady.

[Caleb Hammer]

That doesn't mean they didn't. Yeah, if she's a cheater and he's a cheater, I feel like they likely cheated with each other.

[Alphonse]

If he had the clap. And they. She would have given me the clap.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, no, not necessarily. One, not a guarantee. A spread. Two, Condoms. Three. She's saying she never wears condoms when she cheats.

[Alphonse]

We have never used condoms when she cheats.

[Caleb Hammer]

And three, maybe didn't have the clap yet. That doesn't mean you have it your

[Alphonse]

whole life at the time. So when all of that happened, I know that she didn't. The video I was sent wasn't her because the chicken. Stupid.

[Caleb Hammer]

You wouldn't admit on a show that's being watched by a million people that you've ever taken a penis. So I don't blame you. But I've seen a lot of things on this show and look at your history. I don't believe maybe you haven't in the last year, but you can't say three years ago. You never have. Not once. Come on. It's in the past.

[Luna]

I seriously have not gone. And anybody else.

[Caleb Hammer]

You've sucked a dick?

[Luna]

No.

[Caleb Hammer]

You've given a hand job?

[Luna]

No.

[Caleb Hammer]

You've kissed someone?

[Luna]

No.

[Caleb Hammer]

I don't believe you. But that's okay. I have nothing.

[Luna]

More pictures that from those instances that

[Caleb Hammer]

are the only ones that he caught are the only ones that happened.

[Luna]

They are.

[Caleb Hammer]

It's interesting that that's convenient.

[Alphonse]

I will say the reason why I believe her because those are the only two guys she's had a connection with.

[Caleb Hammer]

Lies. That's impossible. She's literally Snapchatting like 10 men right there. I just.

[Alphonse]

Guys are co workers.

[Caleb Hammer]

But also even. Do you think co workers in fast food and restaurants do not. That is what they're known for. That is literally what they do to get through shifts in meth. That is it. Especially in Tulsa. Dude, I think you are blissfully ignorant. I'm just going to let you know. And I think it's because. Has he struggled with women? You can say that, but you're out of his league. I think he's kind of struggled with women. I think he doesn't want to lose you. He's his fiance.

[Alphonse]

I don't. I don't want to lose her, but the fact that I believe her doesn't have anything to do with her. I mean, it does, but I don't have a reason to believe that she.

[Caleb Hammer]

Statistically, people are most likely to cheat on. Well, with co workers. That is where. And she's snapping them. Okay, open one up of a coworker. Random. Just show me a coworker. Actually, I'm not gonna. No, let me pick.

[Luna]

I was gonna open Snapchat for you.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, so which one's he? A co worker.

[Luna]

T is an old co worker from when I was in Louisiana. So about eight and a half years ago.

[Alphonse]

I will say 99% of those people are just streaks. She just sends streaks to them. Nothing else.

[Luna]

Recent coworker.

[Caleb Hammer]

Conveniently, some of his previous snaps that are saved have now been recently deleted and unavailable.

[Alphonse]

That is her ex girlfriend from high school.

[Luna]

Girlfriend from high school.

[Caleb Hammer]

Vaginal connection. Girlfriend.

[Luna]

Not that far, but girlfriend.

[Caleb Hammer]

Girlfriend.

[Luna]

We kiss in your snip.

[Caleb Hammer]

Me.

[Luna]

But that's about it.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, you are a. You are a. Yeah, she's sending sexy picture there. Sexy picture there. Okay, come on. Tattoos, tattoos, tattoos. Come on. Lesbianism. Sexy picture, sexy picture. Showing her belly. Come on. On. You're getting. Ok, what about.

[Luna]

He is not a co worker. He was from.

[Caleb Hammer]

None of them are co workers, dude.

[Luna]

He was one of the other ones from high school. Guess what I talked to.

[Alphonse]

No, I think isn't one of your old neighbors.

[Luna]

Yeah, he was also a neighbor.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah. What'd you do in 2021? Because you asked them what Korean dish you guys just made together.

[Luna]

Smoked weed and made Korean dishes.

[Caleb Hammer]

Mm. Yeah. With a high ex high schooler. Yeah. Yeah. What the.

[Alphonse]

I think he was a neighbor that she grew up with.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, even better. A guy neighbor that they're slacking.

[Luna]

What about he is an old co worker.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh my gosh. None of them are co workers. Every person I she just said, wow.

[Luna]

She just transferred. He just transferred.

[Caleb Hammer]

Every person I call out, dude, every person I call out, every person is not a current co worker that I've called out. Oh, they rode to work together quite a few times.

[Alphonse]

Yeah, she's done that with multiple co workers.

[Caleb Hammer]

She rides to work with her male co workers multiple times.

[Luna]

They don't have cars. And if the manager on shift currently before I go in can't do it. Somebody has to. I don't know if he's gonna answer.

[Caleb Hammer]

If budgeting apps make you feel like this is for you. Most people who struggle with budgeting aren't irresponsible. They care about their money, but they get overwhelmed every time they look at it. They download an app, connect their accounts and try tracking. But within a few days, it feels like a homework assignment. They're failing. Too many categories, too many rules, too many red alerts screaming at them about what they did wrong. So of course they stopped opening it. Not because they don't care, but because it makes them feel worse. And here's what nobody talks about. The stress isn't coming from your spending. It's coming from having zero clarity in using tools that turn money into a failing grade. Have you ever thought, I just want to know where my money's going without being judged for it? You're not alone. That's exactly what we built dollar wise. If you want a calm and clearer way to see where your money is going, try dollarwise. Download the app today and get a three day free trial. No setup nightmare, no manual tracking, no pressure to be perfect. Just connect your accounts, see where your money's actually going and decide if it works for you. Click below to download dollar wise and see if this helps you feel more in control without the stress. And if it's not a fit, cancel anytime. Starbucks is bull and a waste of Money. And you already know that by making your coffee at home and investing the rest. You need to do that with your energy drink as well. Make Gamer subs at home for just 40 cents a serving. And honestly, it literally tastes better. And we proved this accidentally via a blind taste test in our Hammer Elite show. Fat and Fatter. The number one ranked energy drink is Gamer Sauce.

[Alphonse]

Literally. The cherry flavor is insane.

[Caleb Hammer]

Listen, you can also get free samples to see if you like it or 10% off your order at gamersupps gg or click that link in the description below. Type in code. Caleb.

[Alphonse]

There's no way he just did that.

[Luna]

Is from a previous job. He is my only contact with that job to have been able to get my tax forms because I Snapchat.

[Caleb Hammer]

You call?

[Luna]

I did call him. I only had his Snapchat.

[Caleb Hammer]

So weird.

[Luna]

Remind me he is a current co worker. Although I think he's at work right now. So I don't think.

[Caleb Hammer]

And also, I mean, come on. I'm just being objective. He's a very attractive man.

[Luna]

He is not.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, okay. Well, maybe we went over and he

[Luna]

was an old co worker from eight and a half years ago. I don't think he's gonna answer either.

[Alphonse]

I don't think so. Because you guys only do streaks. Yeah, most of them. You only do streaks. So you send like one in the morning and one at nine. I think that's about it for most of us.

[Caleb Hammer]

This is weird. And the fact that you're okay with it. I guess you.

[Alphonse]

Because I trust her.

[Caleb Hammer]

Based on what? I have no idea. But it's because you are afraid of being alone. Let's be honest. So, Alphonse, you've also told Colton that apparently there's a girl that you were suspicious of that she hooked up with in high school. That's.

[Alphonse]

That's. That's what I told you. Okay.

[Caleb Hammer]

Have you woman since you guys have been together?

[Luna]

No.

[Alphonse]

So that.

[Caleb Hammer]

But you said you want to bring her in. You told Colton you said you want to go hang out with her. Oh, she wants to go hang out

[Alphonse]

with her in Louisiana. Yes.

[Caleb Hammer]

You want to go hang out with her? The woman that you had past relationships

[Luna]

with family over there.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yes. But you want to go see her and hang out with her. Buddy, I'm sorry. Come on. Come on.

[Alphonse]

She. Since that incident in 23 and we had our fighting out, falling out and everything.

[Caleb Hammer]

She did build trust or she's better at hiding. No, she's a serial cheater her entire life. I don't believe once.

[Alphonse]

Once you're that maps and life 360 and she hands me her phone all the time and I'm allowed to use her phone. Like it's just there's.

[Caleb Hammer]

Which is why you're able to see exactly what happens when she drives with her male co workers to and from work.

[Alphonse]

Because that's all that is.

[Caleb Hammer]

Huh? That's all it is. No one's ever given or gotten roadhead or touched once in their lives. What do we think the household financial score is?

[Alphonse]

Oh, like a one or five.

[Luna]

I probably about the same.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. If you want your Hammer financial score, take the assessment for free. @caleb hammer.com you can see where you stand in the world of money. Where are you doing great? Where you're doing poorly. What you need to do to improve, make sure to download if you don't want to be like a guest who ends up on the show. The new and improved dollar wise budgeting app. It is incredible. It is taking the budgeting app world by storm. It is awesome. Check it out. It is brand new. And if you take the annual version, which most people do, not only do you save 50% only through the end of March, but you get my budget friendly cookbook signed by me, mailed directly to you, and then it's going away at the end of March. And you also get our new daily budget meal plan signed by me, mailed directly to you. I can't believe you had to put our cameras all around the house just because of her.

[Alphonse]

No. So the camera is just the one in the office because our cat likes to roam in there. Our cat constantly goes on her lap and bothers her. Her chair.

[Caleb Hammer]

What's this? Quick credit connect.

[Luna]

That is a loan that I have.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why do you have a loan?

[Luna]

Because our.

[Caleb Hammer]

To fix a car. To go suck someone's dick?

[Luna]

No, to help pay rent and utilities.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, so when we were paying rent, we weren't even paying rent.

[Alphonse]

That was when I was unemployed.

[Caleb Hammer]

Which the VA paid for your rent.

[Alphonse]

No. So I was unemployed for six months. The VA helped us move into our current house and paid for the first three months.

[Caleb Hammer]

Wait, why am I being told that you're about to buy a house?

[Alphonse]

Well, because we are.

[Caleb Hammer]

What? You're not paying rent, asshole. How are you gonna make that make sense?

[Alphonse]

So we are looking at a house in Mississippi for $45,000, and the monthly payments is gonna be half a rent.

[Caleb Hammer]

Mississippi?

[Alphonse]

Yeah, Mississippi.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, I guess you guys don't really have careers, so you could go anywhere.

[Alphonse]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

What the. For 45,000?

[Alphonse]

Yes.

[Caleb Hammer]

What the. What what is it? A trailer?

[Alphonse]

It is a manufactured home. Three bedroom. No, two bedroom, one bath.

[Caleb Hammer]

Doing that. Why are you doing it? Appreciate an asset. Just rent. That's even. It's better.

[Alphonse]

Can't stand renting.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, yes you can and you will because it's better. Don't get a manufactured home. I mean, why are we moving to what. What are we doing here? Trying to get away from all the dick she's used to?

[Alphonse]

No, we're trying to get.

[Caleb Hammer]

I want.

[Alphonse]

I'm tired of renting.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why? This is. Dude, so you get a depreciating asset and you have to rent the lot you're on anyway.

[Alphonse]

No, that. We're going to own the land. It's on.

[Caleb Hammer]

You're going to own the land?

[Alphonse]

Yes.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, that. That could be the only upside. But a manufactured housing takes a lot of money, goes down to value and then you have to try to sell it and it gets. Why is this our dream? What the is happening here? What are we talking about?

[Luna]

So the main dream is the land to build our own house. The main factor home is just to be able to have a temporary.

[Caleb Hammer]

How are you getting a manufactured house and land and potentially building a future house when you can't even pay $800 rent without all these loans? Without not paying it. The. Are you talking about. What the. Why are you talking about.

[Alphonse]

Just because the last year was. Doesn't mean that's what's gonna be for the future. Yeah, but.

[Caleb Hammer]

Doesn't mean it was just an hour

[Alphonse]

and a half of just up shit.

[Caleb Hammer]

But that certainly means you can't get a house now.

[Alphonse]

Fucking my knee. Between having different jobs, I'm doing the best I can with what I have.

[Caleb Hammer]

Right? Savings, $171. How the are you doing this? Yes, that does mean you can't do this now.

[Alphonse]

We're doing it, but it's just.

[Caleb Hammer]

We're.

[Alphonse]

It's been. It's been happening.

[Caleb Hammer]

I told you. Literally gonna do it in like a couple months. How? You have a hundred dollars in savings. You've done nothing but up everything for a year and a half. This makes no sense. I'm not saying you can't do it in five years, but how are you doing it today?

[Alphonse]

Hopes and dreams.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, for. And hopes and dreams. She's not cheating on you. That's how you build that trust.

[Alphonse]

That trust is three years of.

[Caleb Hammer]

Just three years of going through DMs and she found a way to get it out of the DMs. Come on. Seen this game before. I've had cheaters before and I know them and smell them when I can. They're right next to me. Why not just open up? You obviously want to other men and that's fine. There is biological desire there. And you.

[Alphonse]

The open relationship would only benefit her.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, because you can't land. No can go to the gym, get some game, dress better.

[Alphonse]

Yeah, probably, but it's. I would. I would rather stick to what I have.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh no, I agree. I agree. I would just draw the line in the sand.

[Alphonse]

I tried drawing a line and she wants to cross it.

[Caleb Hammer]

But you're the one who proposed open.

[Alphonse]

I proposed bringing another person in a relationship.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why?

[Alphonse]

At the time it was just stale and with her being swinging both ways. Bringing another woman in a relationship would benefit the both of us.

[Caleb Hammer]

Did you say no?

[Luna]

I said that's a possibility.

[Caleb Hammer]

Then what happened?

[Alphonse]

But what happened is the conversation got dropped and never brought up again.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why?

[Alphonse]

I don't know why. It was just my guess because we

[Luna]

got too busy focusing on our jobs and trying to make money to pay our bills.

[Caleb Hammer]

Uh huh. Sure.

[Alphonse]

Back my last job, I was getting $25 an hour. We were living very comfortably in a three bedroom house.

[Caleb Hammer]

The room is saying having an open relationship takes all the fun out of cheating. For her it is true. Cheating is a kink. For many people it is. It's kind of crazy. It's forbidden, it's bad, it's naughty. I mean I prefer more the open thing, but it's because I don't want to give her as well hurt my feelings.

[Alphonse]

I don't think anybody really wants to. Unless that's.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, but I think that's what she likes. Is that the thrill of it?

[Luna]

No.

[Caleb Hammer]

Huh? What? Okay. I mean you couldn't even afford to take care of your two dogs. You had to re home them. So you're gonna get a mortgage. What are you talking about, asshole? The Dude. This makes no sense. You're literally putting this on a loan. And now your payments here are $211.29. Who knows what the interest is? It's horrendous. It's already above the original balance you took out of $3,000. Because you're probably not even paying this

[Luna]

three payments on it already.

[Caleb Hammer]

And the interest is so brutal that just for a long time.

[Alphonse]

I think the interest is 23%.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh yeah. What are we doing? Why do you guys live the lives that you live? Okay, okay, okay, okay. Oh. Oh. Fees. Oh. Fees, fees, fees, fees, fees, fees. What's CC Flow?

[Luna]

It's a Line of credit to help build my credit.

[Caleb Hammer]

To help build your credit? What credit are you trying to build? You have personal loans and credit cards and bullshit everywhere. What do you mean, build your credit?

[Luna]

I'm just trying to make my payments on time. Build my credit so that I can.

[Caleb Hammer]

You already have debts. Make those payments on time.

[Luna]

I am.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why do you need this?

[Luna]

Because I originally pulled that out to help with bills and I.

[Caleb Hammer]

There you go. That's the real answer.

[Alphonse]

What's the credit limit on that?

[Caleb Hammer]

I. I can't see. I. I don't know.

[Alphonse]

Because if it's. If CC flows. One was $3,000. That one was to consolidate, I think two small ones.

[Caleb Hammer]

So that's what it was. You don't know. Oh, my gosh. You don't even know. Neither of you know what's happening. A thousand. What you owed. That wasn't $308.

[Luna]

That was $0.98 limit that it gave me originally. And it has refinanced twice.

[Caleb Hammer]

All right, I'll let you use the fizz card. It's a debit card that builds credit. How about that? Only lets you spend what's in your checking account. Do that. That's it. You can't do anything else? Wait, you had a wife? Yeah. What? You had a wife, and so this is why. This extra confirms why you're sticking around because you're just afraid of having to go through this again.

[Alphonse]

Lol. Yeah, because it happened.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, no. You can't just put up with someone who takes it behind your back. Why'd you guys break up? Ex wife. This early?

[Alphonse]

Yeah. So it was. We were living with her mom and we had a kid and it was. Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

You have a child?

[Alphonse]

Yes. He lives with his mom.

[Luna]

His mom that doesn't want him.

[Alphonse]

My ex wife.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. Well, why'd you break up? Because that's even more intense.

[Alphonse]

She divorced me because she cheated on me with her high school sweetheart.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, buddy. Oh, buddy.

[Alphonse]

Yeah.

[Luna]

Are we sure this isn't your king?

[Caleb Hammer]

What?

[Alphonse]

Me getting cheated on.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why would I want that?

[Luna]

I don't know.

[Alphonse]

Just because it happens to me doesn't mean I want it to happen. So if. If my life has to restart multiple times because my wife or girlfriend cheated on me. Why? I. I don't. I'm not into that. That's. I've wanted that. When that happened, I.

[Caleb Hammer]

But she left you. You didn't even leave her when she cheated. She left you. She cheated and left me.

[Alphonse]

She left me with being alone. She left me for him and then told my son to call him dad and put me out of the picture completely. She took the house.

[Caleb Hammer]

Did you go to court, dude?

[Alphonse]

No, because.

[Caleb Hammer]

Do you not give a about your kid enough to go to court?

[Alphonse]

I couldn't.

[Caleb Hammer]

What is wrong with you? What do you mean you couldn't?

[Alphonse]

Because I was in a hospital for attempting suicide.

[Caleb Hammer]

Wow, man. Damn. Oh, my goodness.

[Alphonse]

So while I was in there, then.

[Caleb Hammer]

Do it later. I'm glad you're alive. Let's be clear.

[Alphonse]

The reason why I haven't yet is because if I were to go now, I would lose and there would be no point.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why?

[Alphonse]

Because she already has the kid and I am. As you can see, I'm. Financially. I wouldn't be able to afford a kid.

[Luna]

So I let him see the kid without her being there. And she doesn't even have the time. That's the only reason why she was

[Caleb Hammer]

just attracted to another dude. Why is she being rude to you?

[Alphonse]

Oh, no, she's more than that. So that. That guy that she cheated on with only lasted two years and now she's with a woman?

[Caleb Hammer]

How's your kid? Oh, my goodness. What is. Why will you surround yourself with the worst woman? Eight.

[Alphonse]

That's a good question.

[Caleb Hammer]

Your kids, eight?

[Alphonse]

No, my kid was born in 2019. May 31st. 2019.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay.

[Alphonse]

He's turning seven in May.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah.

[Luna]

Okay.

[Caleb Hammer]

How long has it been since you talked to your kid?

[Alphonse]

It's been two years. Oh, good death, because.

[Caleb Hammer]

So you guys don't have a kid together, right?

[Alphonse]

No, I was living in Idaho when I was. I reached out to her and she reached out to me. She was living in DFW and told me she was leaving Texas to move to Tulsa, Oklahoma.

[Caleb Hammer]

She cheated. She left you, then she cheated and you won't leave. And now you're. Honestly, if in the post show, Brandon literally just her. You wouldn't do anything. You literally would not do anything.

[Alphonse]

I would.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, you wouldn't.

[Alphonse]

If it happened and I knew it happened, I'd be gone.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, no, because this has happened so many times and you've never left.

[Alphonse]

The only thing that's happened is nudes. That's the only thing that's happened.

[Caleb Hammer]

If she literally took a titty, sent it to Brandon in the post show, you would do nothing if it happened now.

[Alphonse]

No, I would be gone because it's. I. It happened once and it hasn't happened again. And I told her, if it happens again, I'm gone.

[Caleb Hammer]

$349 of fees. Why is there fees? Why are there fees happening everywhere? I don't Even know what one is.

[Luna]

That one.

[Caleb Hammer]

This is the CC flow. I just. I, I, I, I, I, I, I don't, I don't, I just don't like, it's like we're gonna go through this, but how will you ever trust each other? I am not trusting. You literally have access to all her messages.

[Alphonse]

I do that.

[Caleb Hammer]

Is that bad? Our relationship is in that stage. I'm gonna go through Yalls text messages in the post show.

[Alphonse]

Okay?

[Caleb Hammer]

And every time this happens, it's gonna be juicy. I know for a fact it's gonna be juicy. Why does this have 140, 145% interest rate? What is this? What is this?

[Luna]

Loan check and go loan.

[Caleb Hammer]

It's a payday loan.

[Alphonse]

Yeah, that's been refunded three times.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, I don't know fucking worth. I'm gonna say it's 1,200, $1,925.44. Cause who knows? You just keep refilling every time. For what?

[Luna]

When we originally got it, it was to help us buy groceries. And then the next time when I refinanced it, it was for utilities because we had.

[Caleb Hammer]

How much do you guys make on your door dash?

[Alphonse]

I make 450 a week.

[Caleb Hammer]

A week? Okay. Let's call that after gas maintenance, everything

[Alphonse]

after gas is the 320.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. Let's call it 250 then a week. Okay. And then let's call it 200. After taxes that you will set aside, make 200 extra a week. In actual true after tax profit times 52 divided by 12. Okay. An extra 867amonth. You.

[Luna]

I make about 150 a week.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. On doordash before everything.

[Luna]

Yeah.

[Alphonse]

You don't do doordash as much as I do. I think it's the 150amonth is what you do.

[Luna]

You think a month?

[Alphonse]

Yeah, I think a month. Because you do when you go doordash, it's like once a weekend.

[Caleb Hammer]

I'll call it like 100 bucks then for you.

[Alphonse]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, yeah. Guys, you're broken, man. Yeah, it's because she works four hours.

[Luna]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, this is a payday. Loans crazy payment of. Oh, it's twice a month. You're actually making these payments?

[Luna]

Yes,

[Alphonse]

the check and go is what she. One of the first things she pays with her paychecks.

[Caleb Hammer]

$148 and 12 cents a month at 145 interest rate. Indigo, I believe. These ones have horrendous interest rates, don't they? Yeah, there it is. 36% me what are we doing? It's maxed out. So there's another one of yours. Why do you need a credit builder? Dude?

[Luna]

What are you talking about?

[Caleb Hammer]

You're already payday loan.

[Luna]

That one I pulled out because you

[Caleb Hammer]

got to pull out.

[Luna]

I got it.

[Caleb Hammer]

You better be pulling out. So he's not getting another baby. That's not his. $970.91.

[Luna]

I got that one to help us when we were moving down here because we forgot to account for how much gas we would need after pulling a U haul.

[Caleb Hammer]

Speaking of pulling out, I mean, I'm just going to keep going back to it because this is again the trust. They come answer this question right now. Okay. Hey, let's take your word. You have not cheated, you have not physically cheated. Okay. And you have not sent nudes in three years. Okay, so we're aligned on that word.

[Alphonse]

Yep.

[Caleb Hammer]

And you will not cheat. Like, even if you wanted another guy, you would not cheat. Now answer me this. If given permission, would you want to other people, men and women, if given permission. This. If you say yes. If. One second. If you say yes, it doesn't mean you will. Without his permission. I am asking with permission. Would you be open to that?

[Luna]

I'd be open, but I probably wouldn't take it because the past year, I've been addicted. Addicted.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, good. Five years in just the last year,

[Luna]

like, I've been off the walls addicted.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why?

[Alphonse]

What changed?

[Luna]

More than I was.

[Caleb Hammer]

What changed?

[Alphonse]

That's a good question.

[Caleb Hammer]

How often do you guys.

[Alphonse]

If I initiate, it's once or twice a week. If she initiates, it's once a month.

[Caleb Hammer]

That's addicted. So you would.

[Luna]

So come on.

[Caleb Hammer]

If you give him permission, you were doing. I'm saying given permission. I'm not saying cheating. Given permission. You would want to. Other men and women given permission.

[Luna]

Not necessary.

[Caleb Hammer]

I am your man. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Three years to pay this off. You're addicted is once a month. It's not how I usually define it.

[Luna]

So that was two years. Like the past two years. Before this. Last year, I was doing like once a month.

[Caleb Hammer]

He just said once a month.

[Luna]

Like since start of 2026.

[Caleb Hammer]

Which is only for a month and a half in. Yeah, more. Twice a month. Yippee.

[Alphonse]

No, so the last.

[Luna]

I have initiated three times the past week.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. The past week. I'm just like, what the fuck are we talking about? Yeah, she got a little horny. It's ovulation window. Great.

[Luna]

Not yet.

[Caleb Hammer]

What the is going on here? Okay, someone pull up their Amazon. I'M told, I'm being told to pull up your Amazon. You've had a late fee this year.

[Luna]

Me?

[Caleb Hammer]

It's Indigo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like it's nothing. Okay. Yeah. Start a screen recording.

[Alphonse]

Okay.

[Caleb Hammer]

If you want to land a high paying job but don't have experience or a degree, then you need to learn about course careers. It is the easiest way to land the high paying career that you've been dreaming of. I've done financial audits for hundreds of people and what I've learned is that the single biggest factor someone can take to improve their life is getting a higher paying job. And that is why I've been such a huge promoter and even an investor in course careers. The way it works is you simply go through an affordable online course to start a new high paying career path. They teach many different in demand jobs ranging from technology, sales to accounting, construction, project management, the trades like electrician, plumbing, H Vac, supply chain and many others that can be done remotely. And the coolest part about course careers is their platform works for people who don't have any previous experience or degrees. Their courses teach you everything you need to know to land your first entry level job. And they have a 100% free introductory course for each career that teaches you all about what the job is like, how much money you'd make and how exactly to land your first job. Was starting from scratch. Click the link below to sign up for one of their free courses today. I am so excited for you guys to finally get your hands on what I've been working on for a year. The brand new dollar wise budgeting app. And listen, I get it. The first iteration was a disaster. Many reasons from working with an external agency to shit infrastructure that I could use. But let's be honest, that was on me. So I put my money where my mouth is. And after investing millions of dollars and hiring dozens of people, we've completely rebuilt Dollawise. And it is truly incredible. And to celebrate, I am giving you some insane deals to sign up for the first time or trying it again after you used the shitty version last year. But these deals only last through March 31st and then they're gone forever. Download now, take your free trial to test it out and get the monthly plan at a 33% discount for three months or take the annual plan for an insane 50% discount. And with the annual, you get my budget friendly cookbook signed by me and my brand new 30 day detailed budget meal plan signed by me as well. Get in the game with the college branded Venmo Debit Card.

[Luna]

Rep your team with every tap and

[Caleb Hammer]

earn up to 5% cash back with Venmo Stash, a new rewards program from Venmo. No monthly fee, no minimum balance, just school pride and spending power. Get in the game and sign up for the Venmo debit [e-mail] collegecard the Venmo MasterCard is issued by the Bancorp Bank N.A. select schools available. Venmo Stash terms and exclusions apply at Venmo me stash terms max $100 cash back per month to them, mailed directly to you. But after March 31, the cookbook is gone forever. So this is literally your last chance to get it. And if you're feeling extra sex, become one of the founder 500 purchasers to get my Founder box featuring a bunch of goodies plus lifetime access to the premium version of Dollar Wise. Don't miss this opportunity of a lifetime. Download Dollar Wise and start your free trial. Go to Dollarwise.com or click those links below. Sake. This is a foldable phone. It's so long.

[Alphonse]

Yep, it's a Motorola razor.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh my goodness. Gaming memory foam seat cushion. Yeah, for. You can sit down and game. Oh my gosh. Professional earbuds for gaming. What the is this Couples rose app remote. Please don't. Is that. That's not on right now, is it?

[Alphonse]

No, I don't. We haven't used it yet.

[Caleb Hammer]

Dude, it's this gaming and stupid man. Oh my goodness. And then another vibrator and then you just set up a gaming setup. How much did you invest into this gaming setup?

[Alphonse]

The. Actually the monitors. That's for Christmas sake. She was using recording and I. On Christmas I got her two monitors for her setup.

[Caleb Hammer]

How often do you watch?

[Luna]

Like once a month, if at all.

[Caleb Hammer]

I don't know. It just doesn't line up.

[Luna]

He watches it more than I do.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, if you're not him, that's fair.

[Alphonse]

Yeah, I watch most daily. Oh, and I jog off like once or twice a day.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, oh, oh. Hopefully not in the triple dippers. Gamer Subs is good. Use my link on the Gamer Subs website. You'll get a discount. Okay.

[Alphonse]

The reason we got it on Amazon is because her grandparents got us a 70Amazon 75Amazon gift card.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay.

[Luna]

So.

[Caleb Hammer]

But in the future, use mine. You get. I think it's a 10 or 20 discount. It's 40 cents a serving. It is much better to make at home. Yeah, it's cheaper. You got a Donald Trump Best Gamer Everything and Second Amendment American flag. I mean, Christmas fits your.

[Luna]

That was his Christmas stuff.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. That's exciting.

[Luna]

And his birthday stuff.

[Caleb Hammer]

Learn a lot while sitting on the pot. Oh my goodness, you guys are.

[Alphonse]

That book was wild, by the way.

[Caleb Hammer]

That was a book?

[Alphonse]

Yes.

[Luna]

Yes.

[Caleb Hammer]

You've read in your life?

[Luna]

I've.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay.

[Luna]

I buy him books so that he can read them because they're topics that he's.

[Alphonse]

Oh, that's a fun game. That's a great board game. It's a great board game.

[Luna]

It's a great game.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. Interest and fees. Oh, this is a different Indigo card. No, this is Destiny. Destiny. What is the Destiny card?

[Alphonse]

That's her.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh my gosh. It's all you so far.

[Luna]

That was for.

[Caleb Hammer]

We need a credit builder.

[Luna]

When I first moved out of my grandparents house, it was to help me. Was that.

[Alphonse]

I think it was back when we.

[Luna]

That was 21.

[Alphonse]

Yeah. When you moved in with me. Shortly after we got together.

[Caleb Hammer]

$48 monthly fee, credit protection. Two years to pay off. What a disaster. What a disaster. Who's crediting in J.

[Alphonse]

That's Luna's.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, Luna, you're just an incredible. What a what. What a catch you got here.

[Luna]

Most of the loans I pulled out are because he has credit and can't pull them out.

[Caleb Hammer]

I need to define this because everyone in the audience always thinks I'm attracted to literally every single one that comes on here. I just want to be objective. You are not my type, but you are also be out of his league. Yeah, beyond.

[Alphonse]

I agree with that.

[Caleb Hammer]

And that is why you aren't. With all this debt, with the cheating, with the history with. It's just like. That is why you will not leave.

[Alphonse]

I won't leave for multiple reasons.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, because she takes your dick, has big tits, is way beyond your league and you're afraid of being alone.

[Alphonse]

Yeah, that's. That's about it.

[Caleb Hammer]

That is it. That is why you won't leave. How does that make you feel? That's why he's not leaving. If whipped him.

[Luna]

Wouldn't use that term.

[Caleb Hammer]

I would.

[Luna]

I was gonna say titty whipped, but.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, I've seen both, so. Thank goodness only one of them is Harry. 33.42amonth. $498.73. They really go full bush in Oklahoma, huh?

[Alphonse]

I wouldn't. I don't. I haven't tasted any of the Tulsa Rainbow.

[Caleb Hammer]

You've only been with one woman in Tulsa.

[Alphonse]

Yeah, we haven't. We've lived in Oklahoma for. Not that long. We've been riding.

[Caleb Hammer]

I guess In Oklahoma. Oh, my.

[Alphonse]

So we're in Oklahoma because my maiden mama moved up here, and I moved down here to go be with my son.

[Caleb Hammer]

Where's down? Up where? What? Directions make no sense.

[Alphonse]

So I moved from dfw. Yeah, she moved up from DFW to Tulsa, and I moved from Idaho to Tulsa to meet her.

[Caleb Hammer]

Idaho.

[Alphonse]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Actually, I hear Idaho's nice.

[Alphonse]

It's very nice. I loved Idaho.

[Caleb Hammer]

But now you're in Oklahoma.

[Luna]

Moved here so that he get to know his son and everything. And then that's a free story. Like, two, three months after.

[Caleb Hammer]

I'm sorry.

[Luna]

We moved here, and she moved here. She lost her job, got evicted, and had to move in with his mother. His mother, not her mother.

[Caleb Hammer]

And yet you can't see the kids, though.

[Alphonse]

No, because after she moved out of my mom's, she went. No contact. She doesn't contact my mom anymore. The last my mom heard from her is she moved in with a co worker from a job she had for two months.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, what's going on with Credit Ninja?

[Luna]

That one was mine.

[Caleb Hammer]

498.73. You're using kickoff? I do like Kickoff as a credit builder.

[Alphonse]

We both have Kickoff.

[Caleb Hammer]

Get up. Okay. You haven't it up. That's good. You. You have not brought it to that 3500.

[Luna]

That's the 35. One.

[Caleb Hammer]

Whose kickoff is this?

[Luna]

Oh, that's 35amonth.

[Caleb Hammer]

That's why it's not being. That's good. So 35amonth. 3150. No, no, sorry. That's the. That's the balance. 350 bucks. Okay. Yeah. Again, this can be a tool to be used. And you're doing it. This one you're doing. Right. I'm okay with that. Let's see how you're doing it. Okay. Even better, actually.

[Luna]

I want the cheaper one because I know I have all the other bills. Until those are paid off, I don't want 45.

[Caleb Hammer]

The $5 a month, so. Good. Who's Quicksilver?

[Alphonse]

Mine.

[Luna]

Wait, are we sure that one's yours?

[Caleb Hammer]

Who's above the limit?

[Alphonse]

What's the limit?

[Caleb Hammer]

300. That is hers, of course.

[Luna]

That is the first credit card I ever got.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh. So let's keep it maxed out.

[Luna]

I had paid it off once completely.

[Caleb Hammer]

Great. So let's keep it maxed out.

[Luna]

And then I had to use it again when we moved down here for the down.

[Caleb Hammer]

You're not down here. You're up in Oklahoma, like, nine hours away.

[Alphonse]

Seven. But, yes.

[Caleb Hammer]

You ain't down here compared To Idaho.

[Alphonse]

Yes.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, compared. Everything compared to Idaho is down here. Okay. $318.60 with the $25 minimum payment takes 19 months of payoff, if you even pay it off with your purchasing money. While interest is occurring, while late fees are happening. She's late on everything. Why are you with her? Just for the tits. Are they that good? No, they're fine. There's big tits everywhere. For Starbucks. Starbucks. Late fees. Starbucks. You. What are you doing?

[Luna]

What are you doing? I have recently backed off of Starbucks because we bought. Well.

[Caleb Hammer]

And then you didn't. Recently was literally her last statement where she's not paying it on time. Getting two Starbucks going above the limit. I recently stopped. No, you. This is your literal, most recent statement available. You make your coffee at home. Make your energy drinks at home. You.

[Luna]

We got gamer subs literally right after we said, you can make coffee too.

[Caleb Hammer]

You can do both.

[Alphonse]

She doesn't like coffee at home. We've tried. I've tried getting her.

[Caleb Hammer]

Starbucks is like the worst coffee. Just get the beans and you can make it just as shitty.

[Luna]

I will say I used to work at Starbucks.

[Alphonse]

And because of that.

[Caleb Hammer]

That was your coffee shop that someone was jealous about?

[Luna]

Nope, that was a different one.

[Alphonse]

It was the coffee shop that she had a. Was a. At a resort in Idaho.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, Alphonse. You. You're Quicksilver.

[Alphonse]

Yes.

[Caleb Hammer]

Time for your quicksilver. Let's see. $138.26 with a minimum payment of $25. Okay. Seven Brew Coffee. You're still going. You Steam. Going in and getting some energy drinks. Probably. Steam. Steam. Talk about Steam. First of all, how are you spending so much on Steam? I. I play video games. I do not buy this many video games in a week.

[Alphonse]

They. It's either a video game.

[Caleb Hammer]

You know what you are. I was looking to buy a new video game the other day, and you know what? I saw Brandon on the top sold. All three are simulators on Steam. Right now.

[Alphonse]

I do not buy those games. I don't. I can show you my Steam library.

[Caleb Hammer]

Who are you to talk with?

[Alphonse]

I can show you my Steam library.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, he is. Well, come on. You're the two times a day or you got a my friend.

[Alphonse]

I do.

[Caleb Hammer]

You got a. I'm glad you can at least still stick it in her.

[Alphonse]

But when I was trying to stick it in here, like every day, we end up having a fight because she thought I was using her for her body. So I had to cut back on that.

[Caleb Hammer]

And it was you.

[Alphonse]

I was not.

[Caleb Hammer]

I think you kind of are. It's the only reason you're sticking with her.

[Alphonse]

I mean, I. I love her too, which is why we're sticking through all of it.

[Caleb Hammer]

You're upset that he wanted to have sex every day.

[Luna]

That's usually like a. I wasn't upset. It was just with. There were a lot of times where he woke me up from sleeping because

[Caleb Hammer]

you gave me four, even though I

[Luna]

told him that it was okay. Every night. Random times throughout the night.

[Caleb Hammer]

Like at 2am he would just be sleeping.

[Alphonse]

Sometimes 2am, sometimes noon. Where she's sleeping at noon.

[Caleb Hammer]

But permission.

[Luna]

Yes, I did give him permission.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, well, that's fun. That's fun. Oh, well. Did you define that?

[Alphonse]

It was not defined.

[Caleb Hammer]

He was doing it every day.

[Alphonse]

Almost every day.

[Luna]

Almost every day. So my sleep schedule is.

[Alphonse]

I told her. I told her I'd rather stick it in than watch porn.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yes, but I mean. And that is a fun little kink thing. I mean, I get it. We all like to have fun and as long as the permission is given, but that's how much you wanted it every day.

[Alphonse]

I will admit, I did get over. I did go too much.

[Caleb Hammer]

So are you able to do it when she's not asleep too?

[Luna]

Yes.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah. Okay.

[Luna]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Just wanted to make sure it wasn't just that.

[Alphonse]

No, it's. No, it's just I have to be

[Luna]

careful not to cry around him when you cry. He gets extremely turned on when I cry, so I can't cry around him.

[Caleb Hammer]

Hey, yo. What the.

[Alphonse]

I can't explain it. Don't ask.

[Caleb Hammer]

No. That's weird, man.

[Luna]

Please explain.

[Caleb Hammer]

I can't. I told you, I can't. And every time you cry, you.

[Alphonse]

Yeah.

[Luna]

If he sees it. Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Are you not. Why don't you say no? Can you?

[Luna]

I can. Yes. But I already tell him no about a lot of other things, so.

[Caleb Hammer]

And he does those anyway.

[Luna]

Steam games? Apparently, yes.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, not sexual. Oh, sexual.

[Alphonse]

No.

[Caleb Hammer]

I have, like, a free use situation I'm hearing yes. It's fun. We like it. I'm a big fan. But, you know, as long as it's given express consent.

[Alphonse]

I told her whenever she wants to, she can and vice versa.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, I think. Yeah, it was. You were trying to get yourself permission, but yes. I don't think she's okay.

[Alphonse]

She's touching my bones when I'm slept a couple times.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, see you. You do it too.

[Luna]

Yes.

[Caleb Hammer]

What it's worth. I mean, you're usually not hard while you're sleeping, but.

[Alphonse]

Oh, no, I am sometimes.

[Caleb Hammer]

What is wrong with You. I don't know a lot of things.

[Alphonse]

It's a. It's a longer. It's a shorter list of what's not wrong with me.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, who's not making their payment on their Coastal Community Bank.

[Alphonse]

What is that?

[Caleb Hammer]

Actually, you've been okay so far.

[Luna]

Coastal Community.

[Alphonse]

I don't know what that is. I must.

[Luna]

I think it's the 125 balance.

[Alphonse]

That must be a collections. I don't know what that is.

[Caleb Hammer]

This is credit karma. Yes, but who has Coastal Community Bank?

[Luna]

I don't know.

[Caleb Hammer]

We don't even know who's you guys.

[Alphonse]

The only things I have.

[Caleb Hammer]

Minimum amount of payment 25. Box balance 125. Who knows what you purchase it on but someone's late. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 months in a row it's gonna go to collection. That's gotta be collections. Huh? Huh?

[Luna]

Don't want collections.

[Caleb Hammer]

What did you say?

[Luna]

I said it's probably him.

[Alphonse]

I don't know what that. I don't.

[Luna]

But neither of us know so we're not sure.

[Alphonse]

Highest balance 600. Balance 125.

[Caleb Hammer]

I don't even know what this one. We got another Coastal community bank of $71. I don't even know the minimum statement. Probably 25. So someone else has $75 in good standing with Coastal. And then what's Tab sun bit?

[Alphonse]

That is collections from back in like 2017.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yours.

[Alphonse]

Yes.

[Luna]

Bad from 2018.

[Alphonse]

2018.

[Caleb Hammer]

Hopefully it'll be falling off soon. We'll see. That's gonna your hammer Financial score sick. What is this, Nelson?

[Alphonse]

That is a car. Car I had when my close repoed. Yeah.

[Luna]

Voluntarily.

[Alphonse]

When I lost my job, I voluntarily possessed it before I got late.

[Caleb Hammer]

Look at you thinking volunteer is so good.

[Luna]

We know neither of them are good, but that was better than the alternative.

[Alphonse]

I got that car when I had my job. And when I lost my job, I voluntary repossessed it before it went late and we couldn't.

[Caleb Hammer]

$8,154 out of the.

[Alphonse]

I think it was 15,000 when I

[Caleb Hammer]

got the car kickoff. We already have open sky Citibank. I don't think we did.

[Alphonse]

That is my. That was credit card I got. Yep.

[Caleb Hammer]

Collection man. So you're just a collections guy.

[Alphonse]

When I lost my job, yeah. When I was unemployed for six months.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why did you file for unemployment then?

[Alphonse]

I couldn't because I quit.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh wait, I thought you said you.

[Alphonse]

It was a mutual between me and the job I put in my.

[Caleb Hammer]

I thought you got laid off because you were gone for the surgery. No community College pass due. 1,200. For what?

[Alphonse]

That's my college. That is the best balance that my job is supposed to pay for.

[Caleb Hammer]

Are they going to. Because it is past due. $1,231.16. Which is the balance, but it's also past due. Are they going to pay for it or.

[Alphonse]

They're supposed to. If they don't.

[Caleb Hammer]

Are they going to?

[Alphonse]

They're supposed to.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, you have a kickoff in collection spike. Okay, who has $3,168 in federal student loans?

[Alphonse]

Me.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, wait, no. There's probably going to be more, right? Or is it just.

[Alphonse]

There's two. There's a subsidized and unsubsidized.

[Caleb Hammer]

What is this for? Ongoing. Right now it's for dive school.

[Luna]

Yeah, from his dive school.

[Caleb Hammer]

What were you gonna do with dive school?

[Luna]

Underwater welding. And

[Caleb Hammer]

when you're a fat.

[Alphonse]

I was 235 pounds when I went to dive school.

[Caleb Hammer]

Does that mean you're fat or not? I don't know. How tall are you? I am now.

[Alphonse]

Back then I was not.

[Caleb Hammer]

How tall are you?

[Alphonse]

Six' two.

[Caleb Hammer]

I mean, it's probably a little overweight, but. Okay. 3001. Okay. Student loans. You're in school now, so you don't have to pay on these.

[Alphonse]

Those are dive school. Those I do have to pay.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why tell them you're in school?

[Alphonse]

They know I'm in school.

[Caleb Hammer]

What kind of school are you in?

[Alphonse]

Online college.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, you would not have to pay. Is it a certification?

[Alphonse]

Yes.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, there you go. Yeah, probably 5016 hours. What's your monthly payment to student loans?

[Alphonse]

It is for the both of them. $50. 25 each.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, my. Okay. Okay, good. Looks like that's it. Checking account. $0. And yeah, we're still steam. Whataburger. Pick the worst burger there is. Literally. Taco Bell. He went inside, got some bullshit Clash of clans you're paying for.

[Alphonse]

I did that once.

[Caleb Hammer]

You suck other guys dicks.

[Alphonse]

I did. I did that once. Clash of clans recently.

[Luna]

Really?

[Alphonse]

Yeah. Sean and I started playing together.

[Caleb Hammer]

And she's playing with the Sean as well. No, actually, they're playing around, having a good time.

[Luna]

See.

[Caleb Hammer]

Wait, what?

[Luna]

I'm not.

[Caleb Hammer]

Not when I make a joke. Confirms it.

[Luna]

She said Sean. He said Sean. I said coworker.

[Alphonse]

No, Sean that.

[Luna]

He said Sean. That's Shawnee

[Caleb Hammer]

Wednesday. Got some bullshit. Got some donuts. Crunchyroll. Taco Bell. McDonald's. Steam purchases. No, the Walmart's not groceries. They don't do groceries. Amazon. Taco Bell. Bolster went and got some bullshit Polybuzz chat. AI you're paying for.

[Luna]

What kind of AI?

[Caleb Hammer]

What?

[Luna]

You're paying for AI.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, that's okay if it's a tool for work, but you just grill things, so I don't.

[Alphonse]

But I use it for bullshit.

[Caleb Hammer]

Pull it up.

[Alphonse]

I deleted it.

[Caleb Hammer]

What do you do with Polychat? I don't know what this is. Polybuzz Chat. Never heard of it.

[Luna]

It's.

[Alphonse]

It's like random role play. There's a different role play for AI?

[Caleb Hammer]

He's giving with AI?

[Alphonse]

No, it's.

[Caleb Hammer]

It's role play.

[Alphonse]

Yeah, like D and D type role play.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, you can goon, but I didn't use look at you the two times a day or. Yeah. No way. You're not Taco bell. Bullshit. Amazon, McDonald's, Starbucks. Bullshit. Bullshit. Lopez Girls Doordash. Dave. You're using Dave. I am Me. Amazon's theme purchase. Discord Nitro, Taco Bell Donuts, Evolution Cigars. Chili's Doordash, Snapchat Pain for Snapchat DoorDash Evolution cigars.

[Alphonse]

$2 just to restore our streak.

[Caleb Hammer]

Surprise. You don't have overdrafts. Is this yours?

[Luna]

Yes.

[Caleb Hammer]

171. Not much better. Amazon, IHOP, Del Taco, Minnesota Woodlands Broadway Liquor. It's a lot of liquor.

[Alphonse]

She bought that for Christmas.

[Luna]

That was for his Christmas present.

[Caleb Hammer]

Liquor.

[Alphonse]

Yeah.

[Luna]

Yes.

[Alphonse]

She bought me eight. Six bottles of Jim Bean, please.

[Caleb Hammer]

What's wrong with you guys, man? You guys are weird. Tattoos. Do you have tattoos?

[Alphonse]

There's the piercing.

[Luna]

Oh, that was for my nose piercing.

[Caleb Hammer]

Bullshit. Blizzard. Hello, Candy. Bullshit. Arby's. Well, you're spending a lot of money on Blizzard. Fifteen bucks there. Arby's, McDonald's, Amazon, Hulu Lynn Cuisine, Chinese, Pokemon, Go Starbucks, Taco Bell, IHOP. And I've charged something food. Bullshit. McDonald's, McDonald's, Starbucks, Taco Bell. Like Prime Video. Premium.

[Luna]

See all the payments to all my loans doesn't matter.

[Caleb Hammer]

You may you were late on some and you're only making minimums on others. Shut the up. Starbucks, Doordash and cases. You can't pay rent and you're borrowing to pay for utilities. Go yourself. And you're not gonna make society feel bad for you anymore. Once I actually dive into the spending. This is what happens every time for everyone that pretends they're like a financial victim. No, you're not. You just around Taco Bell. Little Caesar's going against the taco bell. McDonald's going into DoorDash over traffies twice already. This year. You. You all for Taco Bell. You guys are a joke.

[Luna]

The overdrafts weren't.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yes, it was. Because it was still in your purchase history. It all comes down to it in the end.

[Alphonse]

Okay.

[Caleb Hammer]

Income.

[Alphonse]

I didn't know she over traps on her account.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, she does. And yet you're with her even though she about sucks other guys dick.

[Alphonse]

I don't remember that.

[Luna]

When you paid one of the utilities with my card, it didn't pro show up on my account until Monday. And then it overdrafted my account by $10.

[Caleb Hammer]

Total income for the house, $3,430.

[Alphonse]

Put it in your account.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, well, I'm sorry. Keep going. Clarify to each other while I add this up.

[Alphonse]

When hurt the utility went negative, I think we I doordashed and put the money into account to pay for it to come out of negative.

[Caleb Hammer]

No car payments here.

[Alphonse]

We should have two car payments.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh my. But I didn't get them.

[Alphonse]

I think.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh. Huh. So I got one of them. Did I miss it? Did I miss it? Oh my. What is that?

[Alphonse]

We have.

[Caleb Hammer]

What's the balance?

[Alphonse]

We have two cars balance. One is 14,000, the other one is 13,000.

[Caleb Hammer]

What's the minimum monthly payment for the 14?

[Alphonse]

540 in a month?

[Caleb Hammer]

540?

[Alphonse]

Yes. And for the 13,440 for three years.

[Caleb Hammer]

What's the interest rates on these?

[Alphonse]

18.

[Luna]

18.

[Caleb Hammer]

All right, good luck. $1,868.51 is your new minimum payments. $800. Rent, what's your utilities and Internet combined.

[Alphonse]

Water is 120amonth. Electric is 150amonth. Gas is 90amonth.

[Caleb Hammer]

And Internet.

[Alphonse]

Internet is 50amonth.

[Caleb Hammer]

410 for utilities. That's crazy.

[Alphonse]

Phone bill 150.

[Caleb Hammer]

Use helium. It's cheaper. 15 bucks a line. If t mobile's good there, and I'm sure it is in Tulsa. Gas, vroom, vroom. Drive drive.

[Alphonse]

200amonth for both, yes. Car insurance, 350. It used to be four.

[Caleb Hammer]

Grocery 600. Meal prep, warm up. It's easy, it's chill. I don't give a cook on the stovetop, put in the fridge, use the microwave. I don't give a shit. Use our meal plan in our budget friendly cookbook. Assholes. $200 for TP font tampons. Anything else you need? New socks. Whatever it is that pops up. Are there co pays medical payments on a monthly basis.

[Alphonse]

On a monthly basis.

[Caleb Hammer]

No gym, no subscriptions. I'll try 40 bucks. Games and shit. Pet insurance.

[Alphonse]

You got pets one.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why you already got rid of? What do you have a cat?

[Luna]

A cat.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. $50 for pet insurance. How much for pet food?

[Alphonse]

40amonth at most.

[Caleb Hammer]

Cats are cheap.

[Alphonse]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Anything else you need in this budget before I say go stuff because there's no way this is gonna work.

[Alphonse]

I believe that's everything.

[Caleb Hammer]

4708.51. You're not getting a house. I don't know you guys are talking about. You're already underwater. This makes no sense. And you suck other guys dicks. It's like what are we doing? 1278.51 under like maybe she needs to start the only fans. No, not really. I would never advocate for that. Unless you really want to. What the is going on here, assholes? What the are we doing? What a joke. You need to go through the certification as quick as possible. And I'll get you a course career as one. Like I said. On top of it, get into cybersecurity. Do not increase your lifestyle and pay off all this debt. Change your behavior. Maybe go through bankruptcy. And you need to figure out something for your career. I'll also get you a course career certification. This is income. And you guys have gone beyond debt. Beyond debt. You'll never fix this. And I don't know how. You're not homeless. You might need to move in with family. I don't know. Guys. You need to improve your careers. Make more money than pay off this shit. There's no way you're gonna do it now. Bankruptcy is likely in the future. This is. This is. I need to do your Hammer Financial Score. But join us for the post show. Guys. I guess I missed another debt. Oh, we'll figure that out in the post. Show me. Oh, the car loans are new as well. I'm gonna go through their attacks. Oh, there's some friends debts. Oh my. There's so much. There's so much. Oh my goodness. We'll go into that in the post show. Click the join. Buying Hammer Financial Score. Spending in a budget. You overspent zero out of ten debt. There's collection zero. Ten emergency fund. There's zero dollars. Retirement. There's nothing. Real estate zero. Hammer financial score zero. Attend their pictures@caleb hammer.com. click the join button. Join the number one membership on YouTube for a reason. Hammer elite three premium shows posted every single day, Monday through Saturday. It's awesome. Join us for the post. Show me. I got something.

[Luna]

Oh.

[Caleb Hammer]

Lately I've been feeling disconnected and more like roommates than partners. You want to talk now? Or you got to continue to be pissed off. Then she says, I was talking with a friend that I told about. We went to high school together. What is your issue? While you also sent him your literal don't forget to download the new dollar Wise budgeting app. This is officially now the best budget budgeting the app on the market and I'm giving you a special deal to download, but only through March 31st. Take a free three day trial to test it out and then you get the monthly plan at a 33 discount for the first three months or the annual plan at an insane 50 discount. And with the annual, you get my Budget Friendly Cookbook and my brand new 30 day detailed budget meal plan signed by me and mailed directly to you after March 31st. The cookbook is going away forever. So this is literally your last chance. And if you're feeling extra sexy, become one of the founder 500 purchase purchasers to get my Founder box featuring a bunch of goodies plus lifetime access to Dollar Wise Premium. Don't miss the opportunity of a lifetime download Dollar Wise. To start your free trial go to Dollarwise.com or click the link below.