The Most Ghetto Financial Audit

Summary

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Financial Audit – "The Most Ghetto Financial Audit"

Podcast: Financial Audit
Host: Caleb Hammer
Guests: Melissa & Jonathan
Date: June 12, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this raw, unfiltered, and brutally honest episode, Caleb Hammer conducts a financial “audit” for married couple Melissa and Jonathan from Houston. What starts as a review of their precarious financial situation quickly spirals into a revealing group therapy session, exposing deep marital rifts, cycles of debt, infidelity, and family drama. The conversation ranges from their mounting collections bills to the emotional and relationship dysfunctions fueling their money woes. It’s part tough love, part chaos—and definitely the messiest episode Caleb’s ever done.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Income, Work, and Aspirations

• Jonathan’s Job: Works at a piping company, earns $20/hr, full-time—netting ~$3,000/month.
  [02:41] Jonathan: “Right now I am working at water level...piping company in Houston.”
• Melissa’s Job: Clinic front desk, $19/hr, no overtime allowed; around $3,000/month.
• Desire for Stay-at-Home Motherhood:
  [04:31] Caleb: “How can we survive as a household? Not going to work. You’re going to work. Shut the f** up, you’re going to work.”*
  Melissa wants to quit, referencing online “stay-at-home mom” content for inspiration, despite finances not supporting the dream.

2. Family Dynamics & Relationship Tension

• Marriage & Kids: Married 3 years, two young children (ages 2 and 1).
• Constant Arguments:
  • Daily bickering over chores, financial insecurity, and differing priorities.
  • Both admit they wouldn’t be together if not for the kids. [18:55]
    Caleb: “So neither of you would be here if it wasn't for the kids?”
    Jonathan: “Pretty much.”
• Infidelity Confessions:
  • Pre-kids cheating by Jonathan, discovered while Melissa was pregnant. [20:03] Caleb: “Did you guys even love each other? Are you even f***ing anymore?”
  • Melissa later admits “revenge cheating" with her ex.
    [101:18] Melissa: “Because you decided to cheat, I decided to step out and cheat more than you did.”
• Motivations for Staying:
  • Jonathan: To avoid child support; being present for kids.
  • Melissa: Some remaining love, but primarily for children and fear of single parenthood.
  • Caleb repeatedly challenges both on whether their reasons for staying are healthy.

3. Financial Catastrophe: Spending, Debts, and Disorganization

• Ineffective Budgeting:
  • Outflow far exceeds income—spending up to $9,500/month on a $6,000 combined net income.
    [52:56] Caleb: “That’s numbers. What went out? What was your outflow?”
    [53:02] Melissa: “$9,500 in a month?”
• Chronic Overspending:
  • Restaurants, fast food, weed, Amazon, car washes—even while behind on rent.
  • Tithing $250/month to their church despite overdue rent and utility bills. [91:58] Caleb: “You’re not giving the church money right now. You’re the people the church helps. Do you understand that?”
• Debt Overview:
  • High-interest credit cards (worst: Credit One—endless fees and interest)
  • Old mattress loan (from Melissa’s ex!) in collections
  • Broken apartment lease in collections
  • Multiple family and friend loans totaling thousands (owed to both their parents, dad’s friend, mom’s friend)
  • Student loans past due, risking pay garnishment
  • Car loans (from family/friends) for a now-broken-down vehicle
  • Behind on current rent, perpetually late
  • No emergency fund, no joint account, no savings.
• Budget Assessment:
  • After essential bills, $1,000 could be available monthly—but it never is.

4. Emotional & Behavioral Drivers Behind the Mess

• Communication Breakdown:
  • Both vent but don’t problem-solve; mutual accusations of laziness, ungratefulness, or being “unavailable.”
  • Fundamental mismatches in expectations of emotional support and contributions at home.
• Frankness about Motivation:
  • Jonathan openly admits being unmotivated and not feeling “pride as a man.”
    [80:07] Caleb: “You don’t care. You have no pride as a man.”
• Caleb’s Tough Love Approach:
  • Aggressively calls out excuses, selfishness, and cycles of blame.
  • Advocates for both getting better jobs, making difficult sacrifices, and confronting their dysfunctions.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

1. Melissa on Wanting to Be Home

“I've been watching videos, obviously....Stay at home mom recipes. Stay at home content, food recipes.”
[05:18]

2. On the Cheating Confession

“You cheated on Christmas Day?”
[22:28] – Caleb
“When I found out, yeah.”
[22:29] – Melissa
“So he cheated.”
[19:58] – Melissa

3. On The Cycle of Arguments

“Small arguments are almost on a daily.”
[15:45] – Melissa
“You cannot have the whole thing. You have to decide: are you stay-at-home mothering, doing the mothering, and is he working to take care of you?...You can't stay at home if he's bringing in $3,000 a month in Houston. You're not in rural Appalachia.”
[11:14] – Caleb

4. Rundown of Financial Chaos

“You spent almost $1,000 going out last month. Shut the f*** up. That's what you do now.”
[55:56] – Caleb
“You’re tithing $250 to the church when you can’t afford your own rent. The church gives people money to pay their rent. You’re the people the church helps.”
[91:58] – Caleb

5. On Borrowing from Family

“You make $6,000 a month net. What’s the issue?...There’s nothing wrong with falling onto family when you face a hard time, but you aren’t—you're just spending money you don’t have on shit you don’t need.”
[79:03/80:07] – Caleb

6. Jonathan’s Apathy

“It's kind of hard to hit me with that feeling. I ain't gonna say I don't care too much...”
[80:07] – Jonathan
“I have pride. It just hasn't hit me like that yet.”
[80:18] – Jonathan

7. Melissa’s Revenge Admission

“Because you decided to cheat, I decided to step out and cheat more than you did.”
[101:18] – Melissa “I went to his house, meet up, couple of drinks and it was good.”
[101:40] – Melissa

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Important Timestamps

• 01:06 – Melissa says Jonathan is lazy; start of airing relationship grievances
• 04:24 – Melissa expresses desire to leave work to be at home with kids
• 10:38 – Jonathan details his grueling two-job schedule, Melissa still calls him lazy
• 17:16 – “If you hadn’t gotten pregnant, you probably wouldn’t have stayed” revelation
• 19:58 – Cheating confession and fallout
• 22:06 – “Found out on Christmas because he left his phone while walking the dog...”
• 32:11 – “Zero confidence that no one’s cheated since...”
• 52:56 – Spending outpaces income: $9,500/month outflow on a $6,000 income
• 55:56 – Fast food/going out overspending; “we don’t have time to cook”
• 61:14 – Melissa admits to ancient mattress debt from a previous relationship overlapping their current time
• 65:05 – Jonathan’s apartment lease in collections; breaks lease because of bad parking experience
• 77:27 – Discussing family’s awareness and involvement in their financial issues
• 84:05 – $7,000 owed to Jonathan’s dad’s friend for a car that’s now broken
• 86:01 – Public transport/biking to work as an alternative
• 91:58/92:46 – Tithing $250 to church while broke; “it’s a must” insistence
• 98:37 – Budget breakdown; $1,000 max possible for debt repayment
• 101:01 – Caleb delivers 0/10 Hammer Financial Score
• 101:18 – Post-show preview: Melissa’s secret revenge revealed

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Summary & Takeaways

• The episode is both financial and emotional chaos. Melissa and Jonathan are trapped in cycles of debt and poor money habits, underpinned by constantly shifting blame, emotional neglect, and unresolved trust issues.
• Despite making median/above-median combined wages ($6k/month), they live paycheck-to-paycheck, always behind, with mounting debt and virtually no assets.
• Their infamous out-of-control spending includes constant restaurant/weed splurges and even church tithes despite owing rent and borrowing from family.
• Neither partner is willing to sacrifice (harder work, less spending, communication) for real change; instead, cycles of resentment, blame, and infidelity have repeatedly undermined any attempt at growth.
• Caleb’s final assessment: They score 0/10 on all financial metrics. With radical honesty and deliberate sacrifices, they could turn it around. Absent that, their financial—and marital—future is bleak.

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The Tone

• Raw & unfiltered: Language is blunt, with frequent interruptions and direct confrontations.
• Darkly humorous: Caleb uses sarcasm, tough love, and gallows humor.
• Therapeutic but harsh: The session is as much about emotional dysfunction as monetary strategy.
• Candid admissions: The couple offers unusual honesty about issues many would hide—a hallmark of the show.

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For Listeners

For those who haven’t heard the episode: This is a candid, occasionally uncomfortable spectacle that’s as much a case study in dysfunctional relationships as it is about financial ruin. It’s shocking, messy, and at times unexpectedly moving. If you want to feel better about your own relationship—or your own finances—this is one to queue up.

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Hammer Financial Score for Melissa & Jonathan: 0 / 10
[101:01]

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Want the wildest post-show ever?
Melissa’s revenge plot is revealed in full in the exclusive Hammer Elite member post-show!

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Transcript

[Caleb Hammer]

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[Melissa]

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[Caleb Hammer]

To watch episodes of Financial Audit a week earlier, check us out on YouTube. What's popping up on these doom scrolls?

[Melissa]

Stay at home mom recipes.

[Caleb Hammer]

You can't stay at home if he's bringing in 3,000 bucks a month. I told him, get a second job so you can sit your fat ass at home.

[Melissa]

I told him he like he's lazy.

[Caleb Hammer]

I told him, how does it make you feel, Jonathan, that she specifically told Colton that if she had not gotten pregnant, she probably wouldn't have stayed with you?

[Jonathan]

I'm just trying to avoid child support because I don't know how heavy that that kind of is.

[Caleb Hammer]

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[Jonathan]

All right. Hi, I'm Jonathan. I'm 27 years old.

[Melissa]

Hi, I'm Melissa, 27 years old. We're coming from Houston and this is your financial audit.

[Caleb Hammer]

Your financial. Okay, very good. Thanks for coming over from Houston. It just, it feels, I'll be honest, Jonathan, a little racist. We never get people from Houston in the moment. We do. It's a black man. That just feels a little insulting. No, it's not insulting. No. Why Would it be insulting that there's a black man in front of me? That's not insulting, but it feels a little racist. But we're not racist, so that's a good thing. Well, let's see if Houston's racist with how much you make. What's your job, Jonathan?

[Jonathan]

Right now I am working at water level Engaged company and piping company in Houston.

[Caleb Hammer]

How much do you make?

[Jonathan]

A check or how much do you make?

[Caleb Hammer]

Just what you pay.

[Jonathan]

20 hours.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, okay, okay. Houston, you're doing okay. Okay, so that's fine, that's fine. 20, Houston. Depends where you live. There's definitely some wealthy areas. There's some lower income areas. It's one of those like classic cities where it's. You can get some affordable things in there, but it's usually just, you know, a little rough as well. 20 could stretch if you're in that area. Are we married?

[Jonathan]

Yes.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, how many hours a week are you working for that? 20?

[Jonathan]

I am working 40 hours a week.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, so what hits your account per paycheck?

[Jonathan]

I would say roughly between 1450 to 1550.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, well just call it 1500 then. What is that? Every two weeks?

[Jonathan]

Yes.

[Caleb Hammer]

Cool. 3000 bucks. Good. Melissa, what do you do? Gonna need to make a little bit more money to make this house.

[Melissa]

I make 19 an hour.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, that's okay. As long as you're bringing in, we're doubling this to like 6,000. We can survive. What do you do?

[Melissa]

I am just a front office at a clinic and that's pretty. All I do is medical. It's medical and I just make 19 an hour. I do not hit overtime a lot because the job does not allow it.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay then yeah, you probably wouldn't hit it if it doesn't allow.

[Melissa]

Yeah, they do not.

[Caleb Hammer]

How many hours a week are you working? 40?

[Melissa]

Yeah, about 40. Maybe like 39. But honestly don't wanna work anymore.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, how are we the gonna do that if he's bringing 3,000 hours a month? Not an occup against you. But how can we survive as a household? Not going to work. You're going to work. Shut the up. You're going to work.

[Melissa]

Oh my gosh. Well, I told him shut up.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why doesn't she want to work? Cuz I don't. I don't want to hear that we're not making enough money when we're really not. And she would put that. How long have you been married?

[Jonathan]

We've been married for almost three years.

[Caleb Hammer]

Uhhuh. And she doesn't want to work. Why doesn't she want to work?

[Jonathan]

She doesn't want to work cuz work is too much. Too much stress.

[Caleb Hammer]

She want to put Front desk.

[Jonathan]

She want. She wants to put all her stress and energy towards the kids.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, there's children.

[Jonathan]

Yes, we.

[Caleb Hammer]

And you're still there.

[Jonathan]

Yes.

[Caleb Hammer]

Amen.

[Jonathan]

That was so bad.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well done. How many?

[Melissa]

Two. We have two.

[Jonathan]

We have a two year old and a one year old.

[Caleb Hammer]

Wow. Okay. There's still time.

[Jonathan]

Is it?

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah. Very good. Okay. No, I get that. Well, stay at home. Stay at home, mama. That's what we want to do.

[Melissa]

Yes.

[Caleb Hammer]

Try to tread it up a little.

[Melissa]

I do. Because I mean, I've been watching videos, obviously.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay.

[Melissa]

On Instagram. Well, I mean it's.

[Caleb Hammer]

Call it. What are these videos?

[Jonathan]

We call it a doom scroll.

[Caleb Hammer]

We do call it a doom scroll.

[Melissa]

What's.

[Caleb Hammer]

What's popping up on these doom scrolls?

[Melissa]

Stay at home mom recipes. Stay at home content Food recipes.

[Caleb Hammer]

Cleaning, Clean talk.

[Jonathan]

Ending them with kids. Ending. Deal with emotions.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, emotions and kids. Those happen. But why? Why Did I hear the word like twice in there? Yes, you said twice. Did you hear it?

[Jonathan]

I think I did it once.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. No, no, legitimately. Twice.

[Melissa]

Oh, no, I know.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay.

[Melissa]

I just. I like.

[Caleb Hammer]

And what are you seeing? So, okay. Yes, the recipes. That's wonderful. Yeah, but what is that doing for you? Making it like. Okay, I want to live at home

[Melissa]

forever because I always wanted to be this. You know.

[Caleb Hammer]

Be what?

[Melissa]

Be a stay at home. Well, be a mom in general. But I always knew I wanted to prioritize my kids.

[Caleb Hammer]

The. No offense to Damonte. You picked a. Jonathan, you picked a wrong. I don't know, I just. That's just what was rattling around in my head.

[Jonathan]

Sorry.

[Caleb Hammer]

Then you picked the wrong income to shack up to.

[Melissa]

Yeah, I didn't think. I didn't think.

[Caleb Hammer]

And again, that's no offense to you, but she can't stay at home. You can't stay at home if he's bringing in 3,000 bucks a month in Houston. You're not in rural Appalachia.

[Melissa]

I know, but I told him at least get a sick. I told him, get a second job.

[Caleb Hammer]

Get a second job so you can sit your fat ass at home. What are we doing? I mean, I'm sorry. That's the reality.

[Jonathan]

Right.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, okay, Jonathan.

[Jonathan]

Yes.

[Caleb Hammer]

What's your thoughts on that? Go get a second job so I can sit at home. Home. And yes, be mother. Not saying it's nothing, but when you

[Jonathan]

hear that I own my second job. The only thing is, if I'm Come home to home cooked meals. Is kids going to be taken care of from that?

[Caleb Hammer]

And you're okay with that? You'll do the second job. You'll work the 80 hours a week for as long as there's a meal at home. A meal's not hard, by the way.

[Melissa]

It's not.

[Jonathan]

Well, I did it before, so I did it like I did work two jobs before, but I quit the second job in the midst of us having the second. Having the second kid.

[Melissa]

So I was a stay at home mom before and I had to go back to work because he quit his second job. When I told him not to quit

[Jonathan]

it, I quit it.

[Melissa]

At least I was like, give me some time, man, give me some time to.

[Jonathan]

But at that time, be postpartum.

[Melissa]

I was only one. Like I wasn't even a whole full week postpartum. And I was like, give me some time to be postpartum. Don't quit just yet.

[Jonathan]

But mind you, two, three months prior before the birth, she was already speaking about, already trying to fight to go back to work. I already made the plans, like after I get stressed, man, after I make the baby. After you make the baby and such, Such time pass by, I finish up to work. I'm like, for what?

[Caleb Hammer]

Were you in the military?

[Jonathan]

No.

[Caleb Hammer]

There's a dog tag.

[Jonathan]

Oh, this is a dog tag I bought from years ago.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. I was just wondering, cuz disability, that, that would be like the thing that could.

[Melissa]

He refuses to go to the military.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. Is that like a thing you're trying to push him to do?

[Melissa]

I did.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, because he refuses to go to the mill.

[Melissa]

Yes, because, you know, I just want to be.

[Caleb Hammer]

I was never asked, I've never heard that.

[Jonathan]

I was never asked if I wanted to go or. What's your pursuit? What's your pursuit? I did ask, what do you want to do? Hey, I could be like this.

[Melissa]

And he was like, I don't want to work for the man or whatever. I'm like, dude, it's. It's just a temporary thing, you know, it's not.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, I'll ask you, I'll ask you. Why does he have to do the military?

[Melissa]

Well, it's just a source of income. It wasn't like a.

[Caleb Hammer]

It was a job.

[Melissa]

Well, he quit the second job, so what can I.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, why'd you quit the second job, Jonathan?

[Jonathan]

I quit the second job because Melissa here was crying to me about like, oh, I'm too stressed out with the kids, I'm not sure what to do and stuff like that. So how can I honestly.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, that makes more sense. That's exactly what I would expect to hear from you. That has the endless amount of demands. I'm already picking it up. You got all the demands, no solutions. Nothing's ever good enough. I mean, I can read that. I can smell that from you at this point. I mean, of course, absolutely. So he's working, so, oh, there's no way to help me. There's no. I'm home all day. There's no one to help me. Do you got to be home or. So he quits it. It's like, oh, no, there's no more.

[Melissa]

No, it's just I just give him so many different options is just that.

[Caleb Hammer]

It sounds like the only option she gave you was go make more money

[Jonathan]

by working 80 hours, the most amount of money possible.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, he just doesn't. Which is.

[Melissa]

I told him. I told him. He, like, he's lazy. I told him. What?

[Caleb Hammer]

He's working his ass off. He. At least he was. I mean, you're doing 40 hours a week now. So, I mean, yes, if you're both doing 40. Yes. You have to equally step up at home. I got that. Yeah, but how was he lazy working 80 hours? What was your second job?

[Jonathan]

Pizza. I was a pizza mess. I was on pizza, so I was working.

[Caleb Hammer]

Delivering pizza?

[Jonathan]

No, assistant manager at a pizza shop.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, okay, that's work. He's on his feet all day. Okay, that's lazy. How many extra hours were you putting a week towards that?

[Jonathan]

Before I quitted, I was doing extra 25 on that one. Extra 20. Oh, extra 25 or 30 throughout the week. So I was pulling.

[Caleb Hammer]

How can you call him lazy? How can you call him lazy?

[Melissa]

It's just that I told him. I told him.

[Jonathan]

Well, her definition of lazy is I come home from two jobs and still be able to cook, clean, maybe change some diapers, maybe do this.

[Caleb Hammer]

You cannot have the whole thing. You have to decide, are you stay at home, mothering, doing the mothering, and is he working to take care of you? He's adding it up.

[Melissa]

That's not it.

[Caleb Hammer]

What? That's not it. He made all the pizzas. He knew he ate them all.

[Melissa]

I so pretty much I already told him. I was like, look, I do want to take care of the house. I do want to take care of the kids. I want to cook for you. But every time I cook, he's like, oh, we already ate this. Or like, oh, this is the same thing. I'm like, dude, this is what we got. Like this. This Is it like he wants hamburgers? He wants pizza.

[Caleb Hammer]

Hamburger pizza. Well, okay, you name like, the two most basic foods. What? That. That was it. Asking for, like beef Wellington.

[Melissa]

He just disappeared.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, no. What's the.

[Melissa]

He didn't like my rice and chicken. I made rice and chicken.

[Caleb Hammer]

Are you sure? Well, you're white. No shit. He needs flavor. He needs seasoning.

[Jonathan]

Slap your mama.

[Melissa]

Oh, my gosh.

[Jonathan]

Oh, it's a seasoning. Slap your mama. It's a seasoning.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, put slap your mama on, right?

[Melissa]

Yeah, but do that. I did, I did. He just more.

[Caleb Hammer]

He needs a lot.

[Jonathan]

Well, I need some flavor. Besides just one stagnant monotone flavor. It's almost like tasting churches or Popeyes. You eating the same kind of chicken, it's gonna taste good, but eat more of it over time, it's gonna taste the same. Same thing with the fries. Fries could be good on first rip, but if you keep making the same kind of fries, it's gonna go taste bland over time. He says that right?

[Caleb Hammer]

I'm with him. Listen, if you're at home, just get three different seasonings, swap them out.

[Melissa]

So we've. It's just.

[Caleb Hammer]

I don't care how you gu. You want to live your life, but if your entire argument is you want to stay at home and be wife and be mother. So he goes and works. Yeah, that's your shit to figure out, then that's what you chose. You don't have to do it. I don't care what people choose to do. But if that's what you chose, that's what you chose. Do it then. And the thing is, what concerns me here is, well, before I get to that point, why did you quit your

[Jonathan]

job specifically to help her out with the kids.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, so again, you're trying to ask for anything. Did she ever ask that?

[Melissa]

I never asked for that. I told her.

[Caleb Hammer]

Admitted I asked for it.

[Melissa]

Then I told him, I just want to vent to you. I just want to tell you, hey, I'm tired. I have a lot with the kids, that's all.

[Caleb Hammer]

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[Melissa]

I was doing venting to him. I never told him, hey, step up or change your diaper.

[Jonathan]

But in response, in response to you venting about me, about the kids, how you expect me to take it, especially when I'm trying to help you out. I'm supposed to be the man of the house, supposed to be paying all the bills.

[Melissa]

I told you, you worry about the finances. I'm gonna do everything else. We argue so much, and it's just to the point that one time we did threaten to divorce. Like, what for?

[Caleb Hammer]

Why?

[Melissa]

Because the constant bickering back and forth, the yelling at.

[Caleb Hammer]

And who was starting the bickering? Come on, Jonathan. I. I just. Jonathan does not present himself as a man that ever started a bicker in his life. He might finish a bicker with a Glock, but he won't start it.

[Jonathan]

The Glock is a little excessive.

[Melissa]

You never heard he's not gonna do a Glock.

[Jonathan]

I wouldn't go that far. I'll probably do, like a belt or extension cord.

[Melissa]

Oh, my gosh. Yeah, the black way. Golly.

[Caleb Hammer]

But you. You never start the fights, do you?

[Jonathan]

Unless I have to.

[Caleb Hammer]

When would you have to?

[Jonathan]

Because there had to be certain times where a man has to assert his foot down, put those foot down in certain situations, regardless.

[Caleb Hammer]

What does this mean, Jonathan? So how frequently are we arguing? Because finances is the leading cause for divorce in this country. That's one of the biggest argument things we have.

[Melissa]

That is a huge argument in our.

[Caleb Hammer]

So how frequently are we arguing, having these big arguments?

[Melissa]

The small arguments are almost on a daily.

[Caleb Hammer]

What's considered small? What's a small argument?

[Jonathan]

The dishes. Yeah, washing dishes.

[Caleb Hammer]

Guys, we can't survive in a house like that. Who would want to live there?

[Jonathan]

You got washing. From washing dishes to how diapers are being changed to how clothes are being put up. Because we. We have.

[Caleb Hammer]

You guys are too opinionated on small things.

[Melissa]

Well, opinionated, Yeah, I. Well.

[Jonathan]

Or is it just a standpoint on how things can be done?

[Caleb Hammer]

How does it make you feel, Jonathan, that she specifically told Colton that if she had not gotten pregnant, she probably wouldn't have stayed with you? Because that would make my heart sink completely.

[Jonathan]

I mean, me, I would. I would take it as of like, I'll get my free time back. Just.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, you'd still have kids.

[Jonathan]

But I don't have to deal with the stress of having to wake up to the same woman who calls me this issue at first. So. Only thing I'M doing is separate my time, but still give my time to the kids.

[Melissa]

But I mean, he did cheat, so he cheat, so I. Of course I'm

[Caleb Hammer]

okay. Tell me about that. What the. So that's okay. You have children.

[Jonathan]

This is before kids. This is before kids.

[Caleb Hammer]

Still wasn't long ago with a two year old.

[Melissa]

Yeah. So pretty much he's. And I asked him, why did he decide to step outside?

[Caleb Hammer]

Why can't you just say asked like a normal person? Why is this a thing? Houston, what are we doing? Just say asked. I'll let you say it. But you're white.

[Melissa]

I'm not. I'm from El Salvador.

[Jonathan]

Aren't you white too?

[Caleb Hammer]

Yes, I'm white, but I like, speak words.

[Melissa]

Yeah, no, I'm from El Salvador.

[Jonathan]

And what kind of.

[Caleb Hammer]

Doesn't mean you're not white.

[Jonathan]

Is there different shades of white?

[Caleb Hammer]

Huh?

[Jonathan]

Is that different shades of white?

[Caleb Hammer]

Hispanic? Huh?

[Jonathan]

Is that different shades of white or is it one kind of white?

[Caleb Hammer]

There's different backgrounds. Yeah, but like, yeah, you're like white, Latino, right? 25% native. But I don't. You know.

[Jonathan]

So you say it's racist to have me on the show?

[Caleb Hammer]

No, I was asking if it was. I'm glad it's not. So just like. Okay, so you're asking, Asking, asking.

[Melissa]

I asked. You know what?

[Caleb Hammer]

You can't say it.

[Melissa]

I can't. What you want me to do? I say it in Spanish since you didn't know I was Hispanic.

[Caleb Hammer]

Because you're white. You look like just like a fat white lady. Plus, for what it's worth, like black men, skinny black men, or fat white ladies. It's just like, it always happens, right? There's like a science.

[Melissa]

It should be studied, apparently. According to you.

[Caleb Hammer]

According to me?

[Jonathan]

I didn't say.

[Caleb Hammer]

But I was hoping Jonathan could just answer for me. Why the pairing just always happens. It's like drawn.

[Jonathan]

Hey, it's just gravity. Thick thighs save lives, as they say.

[Caleb Hammer]

Huh?

[Jonathan]

Thick thighs save lives.

[Caleb Hammer]

Like great lives. Two of them.

[Melissa]

Two.

[Caleb Hammer]

That's the only reason she's there.

[Jonathan]

The financials are the reason why I'm still here.

[Caleb Hammer]

The only reason you're still there too.

[Jonathan]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. So we would. Neither of us would be with each other if it wasn't for the kids.

[Jonathan]

Pretty much.

[Caleb Hammer]

Brother, that's brutal. How is there any future then? Yeah, is that even a good future for the kids? Right? Like, it's not. Why did you pull out twice?

[Jonathan]

Well, somebody was begging for kids.

[Caleb Hammer]

They all beg. They all beg to stay in. You don't Listen, that's the ultimate trap. They're always saying, oh, come in me. You don't. You don't come in me. Oh, I'm gonna come.

[Jonathan]

That's the best feeling, though.

[Caleb Hammer]

It is the best feeling. And then a child.

[Jonathan]

Now that you're careful.

[Caleb Hammer]

Not if you're careful. If you're busting inside, you're not careful. You can't bust at a certain angle inside. And like, it's also no kids. It's not like a ultimate angle of bust, is there? Because if there is, I don't know,

[Jonathan]

it depends on your curve. You have a curve.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. Your curve resulted in two. Two kids, so you wouldn't be. Oh, he cheated. Yes. How did he cheat? What the.

[Jonathan]

So.

[Melissa]

So he cheated.

[Caleb Hammer]

Did you guys even love each other? Are you even anymore? Honestly?

[Jonathan]

Most definitely.

[Caleb Hammer]

You are?

[Jonathan]

Yes.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah. I'm being told your sex lives actually are not great.

[Jonathan]

So great in what extent it was.

[Caleb Hammer]

I don't know. That's what I'm being told. So I was going to ask you.

[Melissa]

It was bad at the beginning, so pretty much we didn't know each other's body, what we like. Okay, so we.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, well, I don't need to know all that. I was just wondering if you guys don't love each other, then our sex lives aren't great and he's cheating then, like. Yeah, that, that would be a concern. I don't, I don't need to know if like you don't know each other's bodies when you first got together.

[Melissa]

Well, yeah, but that's one of the results of cheating. Because we were arguing so much. There was so much frustration, one person

[Caleb Hammer]

back then and today.

[Jonathan]

And one person wasn't getting what they want despite if it. Oh, I wasn't getting what I wanted really.

[Caleb Hammer]

So it's usually the other way around because like, dudes are easy.

[Jonathan]

So I was asking. I was asking really for the emotional part or just for the emotional stability from it.

[Caleb Hammer]

So you're the opposite of every man ever. She just wanted a bust and you wanted the, the post sex care. Oh, yeah.

[Jonathan]

Most definitely. You see how. You see how different it is?

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, it's weird.

[Jonathan]

Yeah. It's weird, huh? Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

But that's okay. I support it. You just wanted to bust and leave.

[Melissa]

If you want to call it that.

[Caleb Hammer]

Damn. But Houston is a different place, different kind of people. Okay.

[Jonathan]

Especially coming from a black man like me.

[Melissa]

But. Yes.

[Caleb Hammer]

I don't know what you said, but

[Melissa]

yeah, he said that we were arguing too much. There's no communication and that I'm always angry. And so he wanted somebody to be emotionally there for him and make it a safe space for him.

[Caleb Hammer]

So you wanted to get cuddled and coddled. Oh, Boston. So you went to a cuddle coddler.

[Jonathan]

I ain't gonna say cuddle coddler, but just cuddle and stable.

[Caleb Hammer]

And your cheater did that?

[Jonathan]

Hey, by all means.

[Melissa]

So I taught him how to drive, by the way, so. So I felt like, okay, you know, it's great.

[Jonathan]

So in other words, when she got with me, I didn't have anything like anything asset wise or anything to my name to actually help progress.

[Caleb Hammer]

You're on financial audit. Do you today?

[Melissa]

No.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, what the are we talking about? Sounds like she drags you down. Or you dragged her down. Who even knows? So, okay, the cheating. When did it happen?

[Melissa]

So it happened.

[Caleb Hammer]

Were you pregnant yet?

[Melissa]

We didn't know.

[Caleb Hammer]

But you were pregnant.

[Melissa]

I was.

[Caleb Hammer]

You were pregnant when he was cheating?

[Melissa]

It was Christmas day.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, you cheated on Christmas Day?

[Melissa]

When I found out, yeah.

[Jonathan]

Cause my birthday was.

[Melissa]

He cheated on his birthday.

[Jonathan]

My birthday was the third. Yeah. My birthday was two days before.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, I guess if there's a day two. If there's a day two of which there is not. Okay. Okay, well, so you found out on Christmas.

[Melissa]

I found out on Christmas because he went out to walk the dog. He never racist.

[Jonathan]

It's her dog.

[Caleb Hammer]

Pit bull.

[Jonathan]

Pit bull. Terrier mix. It's her dog.

[Melissa]

It's my dog. Dang. You say you're not racist, you literally play onto the stereotype.

[Caleb Hammer]

See, I just asked a question. You answered the racist answer. I just asked. Or asked.

[Jonathan]

Asked.

[Melissa]

So I. While he was out walking, he has never left his phone, and I kind of had dreams that he was cheating and I was.

[Jonathan]

I can't get my steps in on my health app.

[Melissa]

Oh.

[Caleb Hammer]

First of all, my phone's with me everywhere. That doesn't mean there's, like, something bad on my phone. I just had my phone on me. But that's pretty normal.

[Melissa]

I mean, I didn't think of anything about it, but I did have dreams, and I was cleaning and the phone literally.

[Jonathan]

What they say about dreams? What they say about dreams?

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, my gosh, no.

[Jonathan]

Oh, they fiend for a dream. Or the dream seems to be real. Whatever they investigate, go deep into it and probably try to proclaim that the dream may be real.

[Melissa]

But it was.

[Caleb Hammer]

That's what they say about dreams.

[Jonathan]

I don't know.

[Melissa]

But it was real.

[Jonathan]

I'm still trying to figure it out.

[Melissa]

I dreamt it and it was real.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. Well, that was a coincidence. This dream.

[Melissa]

Oh my gosh. Well.

[Caleb Hammer]

But yes, it did happen. So you dreamed this or what happened? He was out walking the pit bull.

[Melissa]

He was out walking the dog and pit bull and he. He left his phone. I was cleaning. I don't know how the. As I looked at his phone, I didn't even look. I wasn't scrolling. I just looked at his phone charging and a message came up and I don't know what. How. I just looked into it. I've never previously looked at his phone, ever. Never looked through his messages, ever. And this one time I just was. Look, I looked and I saw all the messages, all the pictures. They sent it in.

[Caleb Hammer]

Student loans with massive interest rates. I see it on the show all the time. People get a loan to advance their careers only to be left with sky high interest rates and crazy minimums that leave their paycheck gutted. Maybe you've already gone to a normal lender to try to refinance your private student loans and they looked at your less than perfect credit score and hung up the phone. Maybe part of you even thought, yeah, that tracks. I guess I'm stuck. Stop it. You don't deserve to be buried in a high interest loan for the rest of your life because you hit a rough patch. The banks aren't rejecting you because you're a lost cause. They're rejecting you because you're not profitable enough for them at a manageable rate. That's where y refi comes in. Why? Refi works specifically with borrowers who can't get refinancing through traditional lenders. It's their whole thing. They refinance private student loans so you're only paying interest between 0.1% and 5.99%. And they legally cannot charge you more than that. They'll even customize your payments to out of debt at a pace that works for you. And if you need a co borrower release from your loan, they've got a program for that too. Plus their team is in Phoenix, Arizona. So when you call them, you talk to a real person. It only takes three minutes to check your rates and it doesn't impact your credit score. If you've been told no a million times, try why refi? Head to yrefi.com hammer that is yrefy.com hammer or call 888 Y REFI 78. That is 888 Y REFI 78. Break free from the high interest trap and get your finances under control once and for all. People on the show Blame the economy or the government for their money mistakes all the time. And look, some of it is real. Inflation hit people hard, housing is a disaster, and wages haven't kept up. So I get it. But here's the problem. Most of what people know about the economy, about policy, about what's actually happening with their money, they got from news sources with a massive agenda. Left or right, it doesn't matter. They're not telling you the full story. They're telling you their story. The one that keeps you too scared to change the channel. That's why I've been using straight arrow news. No manipulation, bias or agenda. They cover the stories that actually affect your life and give you verified facts and context so you can stop being jerked around by whatever narrative is trending this week. Go to san.com Caleb Hammer to download the app or you can visit through the link in the description below. And when you subscribe, you support me and you get the unbiased truth on the stories that matter to you, free from manipulation, bias or agenda. Because the first step to fixing your money is understanding the world your money actually lives in. Welcome back to trustworthy journalism.

[Jonathan]

It was just pictures and messages. I ain't gonna physically see the girl.

[Melissa]

This is so cheap. My friend, he went to deliver this pizza supposedly because he was working pizza. So he was supposed. He said that was my practice run.

[Jonathan]

That was my practice run as me trying to be a delivery man.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, that's so putty. Okay.

[Jonathan]

I was never. They never sent. I always was stuck on the inside as assistant manager. So they. So when we were short on drivers that.

[Melissa]

I remember that.

[Caleb Hammer]

So you delivered to her specifically only.

[Jonathan]

Yeah, that was. That was the first order.

[Caleb Hammer]

Are you telling me you never her? No. What? May as well at that point.

[Melissa]

Why did you meet up?

[Jonathan]

I thought about this.

[Melissa]

Why did you meet up? Why were you gonna go see her?

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, you don't meet someone you get nud from Intend nudes too. And you don't. That's just not. This is. That's what. That's. Come on. I mean, come on.

[Melissa]

He's like, were you going to cheat? He's like, no, dude.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, you did. If you're sending nudes and you're getting news, that is cheating. Unless again, you guys are okay with it. But like exactly. That wasn't. Here's the thing, listen. Cheating. Not good. Not in favor of that. Don't do that. But. What's the but why the. Were you just allowing messages to fly through? You're the worst cheater I've Ever met.

[Jonathan]

Hey, that's how you know I was new to it.

[Caleb Hammer]

Cause new to it? No, it's. You're.

[Jonathan]

Hey, buddy.

[Caleb Hammer]

Just letting messages pop up. What are you doing?

[Melissa]

It went from Snapchat to messages on iPhone. I'm like, oh. So was it getting serious? Did you have feelings for her and

[Caleb Hammer]

you were pregnant when you found out?

[Melissa]

I found out that I was pregnant two weeks after we had this.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, so what happened when you found out he was cheating?

[Melissa]

I lost it. I. I'm very quiet. Like quiet in the sense that I don't like my drama out there.

[Jonathan]

Well, I excused my. I. I removed myself from the situation and been gone from the. From the space that she was in for like what, three, four days?

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, well, that's because I didn't know why.

[Jonathan]

Literally instead of talking, he said running away. But I was.

[Melissa]

He literally went to his mom's and did not answer my messages. I wanted to talk about it and basically I was so upset to the point.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why did you run away if she wanted to talk about it? Dude, she finds out you're cheating your wife. Pregnant. Not known yet.

[Melissa]

And you leave Beyonce at the moment.

[Jonathan]

Four days? Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh my goodness. You were engaged? Yeah, we were. That's crazy. Yes. Four days you left. She wanted to talk about it.

[Melissa]

He did not answer my phone. He blocked me for a while.

[Caleb Hammer]

You blocked her? What was your intent here?

[Jonathan]

Give her the space I need. Give her space that she need. Give her space.

[Caleb Hammer]

You blocked her.

[Melissa]

Yes, she can.

[Caleb Hammer]

She can figure out what she needs. And I'd be. I'd be scared of a big Latina as well.

[Jonathan]

Nah, I wasn't really scared.

[Caleb Hammer]

You blocked her. Zootopia 2 has come home to Disney. Let's go get ready for a new case. We're gonna crack this case and prove for the greatest partners of all time. New friends.

[Jonathan]

You are Gary the Snake.

[Caleb Hammer]

And your last name.

[Melissa]

The Snake Dream team.

[Caleb Hammer]

The new habitats.

[Melissa]

Zootopia has a secret reptile population.

[Caleb Hammer]

You can watch the record breaking phenomenon at home. You're clearly working it. Zootopia 2 now available on Disney Plus.

[Jonathan]

Rated PG.

[Caleb Hammer]

Left. What the scouts worry. Give her space. Okay. Four days later.

[Jonathan]

That was me not caring no more. That was me just trying to find a reason. Trying to see if I can find a reason to care.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, you were done.

[Jonathan]

Yeah, I was done.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, you were out. Okay, well, that's different. Okay, it was done.

[Jonathan]

I was done. Completed, out. But then she called me one, one good time and asked me, just do it. Just do it for respect. Just out of respect. I'm like, all right, I'll give you the respect and talk to you one last time. Just see how. Where it would go. And eventually that led from three, four, almost a five hour talk.

[Caleb Hammer]

On the phone?

[Jonathan]

No, in person.

[Caleb Hammer]

So you guys met up after four days and he went back to that

[Melissa]

conversation because we were living together. So he went back to the apartment after those four days in that conversation was nothing but yell, crying, yelling, like hurtful words.

[Jonathan]

Us trying to get out. Like our. Whatever. We've been keeping up from each other for some months or some years.

[Melissa]

In that moment, we just let it all out. Like, this is how we feel about each other.

[Caleb Hammer]

But you're still considering that this won't last a lifetime. Like, you're actively saying that. You're both saying that, that if you didn't have kids together, you wouldn't be together. And you're still considering divorce. You've told Colton specifically and honestly. I mean, and then you told Colton. She basically forced you into the marriage. So it's like it's. Has anything even changed? Honestly? Zero confidence that no one's cheated on each other since?

[Melissa]

Yeah, no.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, see, she. She has no confidence that that hasn't happened. If you guys don't love each other, you're with each other for the. I'm sure there's a little bit of love in there, some kind of love. But, like, if you're considering leaving together, you don't want to be together, you're forced into a marriage. One of you has a. Come on. At least texted someone. At this point in the last couple years, there's no way if not both of you. Yeah, there we go. That response says everything I need to know from both of you. We can admit it. You've texted someone. Come on. Of course. And you.

[Jonathan]

Of course.

[Caleb Hammer]

Of course. There you go.

[Jonathan]

But as. But as far as I actually haven't

[Caleb Hammer]

in the last two years, there's no way. Well, he admitted he has, so there you go. You heard it here.

[Melissa]

Because I refused to tell other people that we were having marriage problems. So I was like, well, good thing

[Caleb Hammer]

you came on and saw millions of people.

[Melissa]

I know now. I'm so funny. Ha ha.

[Jonathan]

I don't think it's funny, but.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, it's not. Especially if you keep texting people.

[Jonathan]

Guys, sometimes we can't see. I don't. About.

[Caleb Hammer]

How did you just text a girl? How do you find them?

[Melissa]

No, we're not texting.

[Caleb Hammer]

Like, oh, he is. He said he is.

[Jonathan]

No, not other people. I'm taking Friends.

[Melissa]

Like homeboys.

[Jonathan]

My friends.

[Caleb Hammer]

I specifically said girls. And you admitted to it until she said she didn't. And now you're saying you're homeboys. Yeah.

[Jonathan]

Okay.

[Caleb Hammer]

And what happens? Because she has put an ultimatum. Not necessarily an ultimatum, but a timeline. She says in July, she's just quitting her job. Come July, it's two months from now. If you don't even basically want to be there, why the would he work extra hours?

[Jonathan]

It's for the kids.

[Caleb Hammer]

She wants. It's for the kids. Yeah.

[Jonathan]

She wants me to make all the money for the kids. And I'm trying. And me. This is just the stereotype on my end. I'm just trying to avoid child support because I don't know how heavy that that kind of is.

[Melissa]

Wow. That's how it felt.

[Caleb Hammer]

How does this feel to hear. This is insane. I don't hear shit like this on the show. This is crazy. And I thank you for being honest, by the way. That's incredible. You're a beautiful man. What the. How does that feel to hear? That's crazy.

[Melissa]

I actually don't appreciate that. I just. I wish you would have been more open about this, you know, before we had a second baby.

[Jonathan]

You know, you should have known why I didn't have anything. You should have known we wasn't ready to have kids, especially for the first one.

[Melissa]

Well, it happened. We didn't know if it happened because supposedly I wasn't. I couldn't have babies.

[Caleb Hammer]

So every time. That's every time on this show. So why have the second one then?

[Melissa]

Cause we were.

[Caleb Hammer]

We're getting better.

[Jonathan]

Things were good. We getting better. And then at that time, first year.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay.

[Jonathan]

Yeah. But at that time, when. The second time. Second child did happen, when. When he was conceived, it was the time where everything was good at the product. It was like the. It felt like a honeymoon.

[Melissa]

Honeymoon. Yeah. So even though we've been together for, like, six years, it felt like we were still in a honeymoon.

[Caleb Hammer]

Sounds like a fresh start again, but there's not gonna be another one of those unless we have, like, another kid. But please don't.

[Melissa]

Oh, no, thanks.

[Caleb Hammer]

Because you guys aren't even, like, wanting to be together. So it's literally only the kids and the lack of child support. So child support and the kids is why he's there. Why are you staying?

[Melissa]

I mean, I love the man. I do.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, again, I said there's probably some love here, but you've told Colton, you specifically, like, I've considered divorce.

[Melissa]

Don't.

[Caleb Hammer]

Even if. If it Was for the kids we both have.

[Jonathan]

Is it just the kids we both kind of have? I said we both have.

[Caleb Hammer]

Have what?

[Melissa]

Considered divorce.

[Jonathan]

Considered divorce.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, yeah.

[Melissa]

No.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, yeah.

[Melissa]

But he keeps saying that we shouldn't. So I don't understand why he's telling you something and he's telling me something else. It's like he's telling you, oh, yeah, no, no more. And then he's telling me. But we should try. We should need. We need a change. We need to work on this.

[Jonathan]

I'm saying that for the kids, not saying it for me and her. It's for the kids. So the kids could see a better example out of their parents, not just to see them bickering, fight over, washing dishes over.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, if you guys fight every single day. I don't really understand. You guys don't even want to be there. What the. Are we doing? Like, what am I doing? Like, yes, I can look at the finances of the household and we can do something, but there's no future. I just don't really understand it. And I know your parents are vehemently against even being with him anyway. Right. My mom was your mom for different communications, different backgrounds. Black.

[Melissa]

Yeah.

[Jonathan]

Okay, so black is a curse or black is a privilege in southern areas.

[Caleb Hammer]

Sure. I. Okay. But the thing is, it's just like, what the are we gonna do? What can we do? I can't fix a entire. Well, I can't fix us wanting to be together or not. So it's like, that's brutal at that point.

[Melissa]

Well, the big issue, finances.

[Caleb Hammer]

Come on. If you guys are bickering down to the sex lives, if we're bickering down to the dishes, if we're. If we don't want to be with each other for many different reasons, and we're only there because of like child support is scary. Finances are gonna solve what sounds like a sliver of the overall issues here. It really does.

[Melissa]

I don't. I don't think. I don't think so. I think that by fixing this financials, I think I won't be stressed.

[Caleb Hammer]

What about Jonathan? You. You know why it fixes the stress for you? Because you wanna sit your ass at home. That's why the finances are good.

[Melissa]

Not get the bill call. The bill collector calls on a day,

[Caleb Hammer]

but he makes the income so that

[Melissa]

they can be paid now.

[Caleb Hammer]

But you're quitting in a month and a half, no matter what.

[Jonathan]

Okay, so now. So now I'm put in a position to where I got to look for another job.

[Melissa]

He said that he was looking for a job? That he's been applying? I don't think so. I think he applied.

[Caleb Hammer]

Should he even have to? I'm sorry. It's modern day society. You don't necessarily get to stay home if you want to. If we're both like lower skilled, lower income, you don't get that privilege. That's just the reality of the situation. We got mouse to feed. We got a roof to keep over the head. It gotta work. That's reality.

[Melissa]

Well, I told him, I was like, I can help. I can work until you need me to. But honestly, I really want to take care of the kids. I want to be there.

[Caleb Hammer]

I get that. Who's taking care of the kids now that you're working?

[Melissa]

My mom.

[Caleb Hammer]

That's fine. That happened to me. I turned out okay. At least okay relatively.

[Jonathan]

I mean, yeah, she's very, very overprotective about who watches the kids.

[Caleb Hammer]

And your mother's not good enough.

[Melissa]

My mom is. It's just that I.

[Caleb Hammer]

And what's the issue, dude?

[Melissa]

I was paying. Babysitting the kids. Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

And I'm sure a reasonable amount better than daycare.

[Melissa]

That's true, but.

[Caleb Hammer]

There you go. You're fine. Go work. Both of you should probably work 60 hours a week each, pay off the debt and then we can consider things. How can you consider quitting your job before he has the second job lined up? And even more importantly, before we have an emergency fund and even more importantly, before we have all the bad debt paid off. How could you even consider that? That's so selfish. That's so selfish with your mother being there. If there was no one else to take care of your kid. I wouldn't say it's selfish because you got to take care of the kid, but if the mother's there, you have to put your household first and make sure you have a safety net of an emergency fund and getting out of this debt first. If not, then you're just being selfish because you want to be home.

[Melissa]

But it's been six years of the same.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, it's two year old kid is the oldest. We have shot up.

[Melissa]

Yeah, but we've been together for six years.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. Of the same thing. What?

[Melissa]

Of the same. We've been in debt since we got

[Jonathan]

together and whose fault her mindset has been mainly since getting with me has been more focused on trying to fix the debt that we are. For six years I have signed. Signed up to. And like that I signed up to.

[Melissa]

It was my. It's my deb.

[Caleb Hammer]

What the Is Wrong with you if it's your fault. What? I asked that question. I didn't even know. I don't know whose debt is whose, okay? I didn't even know. So if it's your fault and it's your problem. We've been dealing with this for six years. You have, you have.

[Jonathan]

And I'm just co signing to go along with it as.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why would you. Why would you enable. Why would you support this?

[Jonathan]

Cuz I love her. Want to make sure.

[Caleb Hammer]

Love her enough to cosign. Not love enough to stick around though. Just don't understand. Not love enough to not cheat and text other people.

[Jonathan]

It's a different kind of love. A different kind of love that's out there.

[Caleb Hammer]

He just wants the bust, okay? That's it happens.

[Jonathan]

Nah, it's not the fact I want a bust. It's the fact that I want to feel comfortable. I want to be able to know for a fact I'm in a good place without her.

[Caleb Hammer]

So what do you find with these other women then?

[Jonathan]

I'm gonna say a small little sense of security and reassurance that I was hoping to ask from her.

[Caleb Hammer]

But what do they do that gives you that?

[Melissa]

Nothing. Send nudes.

[Caleb Hammer]

Quiet. This is him.

[Jonathan]

I'm gonna say, ask me how I'm doing, how my day is. What's going on in your head? How can I help you? Have you ate? Do you eat anything? Stuff like just small stuff like that. And then I feel like I had to come to her and beg her for it.

[Caleb Hammer]

Does she still.

[Jonathan]

She got into just a slightly better, but it needs a little bit more improvement.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why don't you step up on that regard? That's not your natural love language. But it's his.

[Melissa]

It's. Yeah, it's hard.

[Caleb Hammer]

Just takes a little bit of effort. It's not something biological within you. You're able to just do it as a. As a courtesy.

[Melissa]

It's. Well, it's difficult because when I ask him, hey, how was your day? Same old or.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, but he just wants to be asked. Who cares what his answer is? Well, you have your own needs that you want him to provide and he has this. Who cares what his response is? That's what he's asking for. What are you asking him for? And is he delivering?

[Melissa]

Not all the time delivering.

[Caleb Hammer]

What are you asking for? That is not delivering security. This is the security, this financial security. You're the one going insecure.

[Melissa]

I just want to be able to

[Jonathan]

secure it financially or secured emotionally?

[Melissa]

Yes, financially. That's what I asked. That's the main thing I asked from him. That's really it. All I ask is to be financially secured because I'm.

[Caleb Hammer]

But you're the one going into debt so that's. How's that even fair to put on him? But this is why I'm going to go further debt. You need to make more money to pay it off and then I'm going to go further into debt. Hey, but I want to be financially secure. Where does that make sense? I can't vibe with yours as much as I can vibe with his. Where does that make sense?

[Melissa]

Well, the debt. I told him about this debt before we even got to, you know, agreed to get in together.

[Jonathan]

It wasn't.

[Melissa]

But it's just.

[Jonathan]

It was explained thoroughly as much as now she only told me, oh, I'm in debt. I'm trying to make sure I get all my stuff together because I just.

[Melissa]

It was always me me.

[Caleb Hammer]

But it's six years, I don't care. What about since then? Since then the debt we've gone in. The debt he's co signed for. You're begging him for financial security but you're getting him to co sign on debt that you make worse.

[Melissa]

Well, we need him.

[Caleb Hammer]

How can you beg him for financial security? How. Please define what that would look like.

[Melissa]

Because when I was a stay at home mom and he did give me that sense of security, I was, I was so much. I was improving in all senses of

[Caleb Hammer]

you know, how are you improving just cause you got what you want? You were happier like yeah, we all are happier when we get what we want. Life isn't always like that.

[Melissa]

I was more emotional. Like I was more emotionally available. I was more available. Yeah. Because I'm just so. I feel like I'm in the struggle boost.

[Jonathan]

So she had to succumb into making herself available into accommodate to what I actually need or want.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah. When we work we have to give a little extra energy after work we just have to.

[Melissa]

Well I. Sometimes I don't ask him because it's irritating. It's just irritating sometimes.

[Jonathan]

So it's irritating to ask me how I'm doing. Irritating. Ask me about what stuff will be the same answer.

[Melissa]

It's just.

[Caleb Hammer]

Doesn't matter though. That's what he's asking for.

[Melissa]

You keep saying that but I'm like what am I supposed.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, well express, express how you feel to him.

[Melissa]

You tell me the same thing. So what am I supposed to be like? Oh, what am I supposed to say that I don't know. What am I supposed to Say it's the same thing. What can I say to make you feel better? There's just no way, dude. It's like you ask me these things, but you don't give me the solutions. I'm like, when I ask you for something, I do give you. I'm like, this is a solution that could be. This is another solution that could be. But you just tell me, I want this. Okay, how can I do that better? You're just like, like, okay, well, well,

[Jonathan]

that's it all comes down to how you look at the situation about like, especially how I'm trying to tell you. I understand. I don't tell you everything verbatim how you want to be. Like, I don't come through with a whole detailed story about, oh, such, such did that I did this, that, and the third. I, I, I'm not built to come with detailed stories like that. I'm just put it all simple.

[Melissa]

It's so nonchalant, it's irritating sometimes.

[Caleb Hammer]

What the is that? You just shut him down. Maybe his point's not right, but you just interrupted and shut down. It's not a productive. If that's how every conversation goes, then maybe I understand why he walks away.

[Melissa]

Well, I feel like I don't shut down. I feel like I, you shut him down.

[Caleb Hammer]

You just did.

[Melissa]

Well, well, I disagree.

[Caleb Hammer]

But okay, good one. Got me.

[Melissa]

I, I, I mean, I don't, I don't know what he wants. I don't understand. I, like I asked, but express what

[Caleb Hammer]

you want, then what's different? Express what you want. That is different. Specifically, let him try.

[Jonathan]

Where's the patience? That's mainly the main thing I asked for. Just like I said, patience. Because when I first proposed to her, because the moment I proposed to her, it was, I was put into ultimatum to choose. So my mom was going to move to Florida and I was staying with my mom at that time. So she asked me if I wanted to come with her or do I want to do something else. And I was like what, 19, 20 at the time. So I didn't really have much of a, I guess a guided as a guided principal guided, you know, any guidance on how to go about that situation. So I asked her the proposal too.

[Melissa]

Just an FYI, the proposal, it was literally the bedroom.

[Caleb Hammer]

You are such a, the thing is, I was kind of against what he was saying right there. I was listening, I'm like, what the is this guy saying? What is he saying? And then you just interrupt him with even worse bitch behavior. It's like, what I'm against both of you. What the f. Yeah. Choose the woman over your mother. I'm sorry. You're not gonna live with your mom forever.

[Jonathan]

You're right.

[Caleb Hammer]

You love your mother. I'm not saying don't love her, but, yeah, okay, 20. Fresh out of juvie. I'm proud of you. Choose her. Don't live with your mother in Florida.

[Jonathan]

But that's the thing. So I. At that time, when my mom did move, she came back. So it's like. Yeah, it would have been kind of pointless. That's where your mom lives.

[Caleb Hammer]

You're just.

[Jonathan]

It's me with her, right?

[Caleb Hammer]

What are we. I don't even know what we're saying, guys. What the Is even happening? I don't even understand what point are either of you. You hate the proposal. Who cares? Why'd you hate it? Maybe I care.

[Melissa]

It wasn't. Basically, there was nobody to.

[Jonathan]

There was no share it with.

[Melissa]

It was in his room, and he just proposed in his room. And I was just like, oh, how'd you do that?

[Jonathan]

I guess that's part of the ultimatum that I really had. I ain't really planned that much time into making that proposal.

[Caleb Hammer]

Go. At least go down to a park at a minimum.

[Melissa]

So I hated it. I hated it. But I was like, I love him. We can make this work. But, yeah, I still kind of. Kind of hate that sale, to be honest. It's still.

[Caleb Hammer]

Do you hear that? Sounds like breakfast is ready. Because Quaker's coming in hot with morning nutrition. 100% whole grain oats, and a good source of fiber to fuel the rhythm of your morning and kickstart your day. And that sounds absolutely delicious. Fuel to start. Whatever's next. Quaker, official sponsor of FIFA World Cup 26.

[Jonathan]

Let's go.

[Melissa]

I'm just like, I wish.

[Caleb Hammer]

I mean, get over it. It is. It is weird.

[Jonathan]

You hated your proposal, but you're still here right now.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, I think we both understand. We all understand why. It's the kids at this point. Yes, there's love, but I think we're. We've more ready to separate even with that. But we won't because of the kids, which is sad. Except for the kids. But, yeah, next time you propose.

[Melissa]

Next.

[Caleb Hammer]

Not in your room, next time, if you guys leave. I don't know. But all I'm saying is, yeah, bad proposal. Also, like, three years ago. Get over it. What are we doing? Why are you locked onto that? Who cares?

[Melissa]

I don't have pictures to show my kids.

[Jonathan]

She wants.

[Melissa]

Your daddy proposed, and it was.

[Caleb Hammer]

It's already done. Make new memories. Well, it's already done.

[Melissa]

We're trying to work towards it, but

[Caleb Hammer]

are you going into debt?

[Melissa]

You're not having it.

[Caleb Hammer]

You are not. Yes, because you keep opening debt that

[Jonathan]

I'm a part of.

[Melissa]

But I talked to him about it. Obviously if he don't agree, he could have said no, but he you can't do anything.

[Caleb Hammer]

If he doesn't say no, you're incapable. I just launched the brand new Hammer Elite app available on every major platform. You'll get three exclusive dedicated shows every single day, Monday through Saturday. And to celebrate the app launch, I'm offering 30% off the annual plan in the month of June only. Plus I have an exclusive offer just for you. But it's limited to the first 1000 people to purchase. For a one time payment of $500, you'll get our entire Hammer Elite catalog for life and a limited edition Hammer for Life box packed with limited edition merch you can't get anywhere else. Plus you'll get access to our exclusive 4 hour Hammer Elite Day live stream on June 27th. Download the Hammer Elite app by using the link in the description or pin comment below. This is the best membership you'll ever join and that's a promise. If you or your child spent years growing up on social media and experienced serious mental health struggles, you should hear this. Recently, a jury ordered Meta and YouTube to pay millions for their role in designing and promoting addictive platforms. They knew their apps could contribute to anxiety, depression and body image issues, but did not share those risks while prioritizing profits. The recent historic verdict underscores the consequences of those decisions. Now Morgan and Morgan is stepping up to hold these platforms accountable for the harm they caused. Click the link in my bio to take a short quiz. You may be entitled to a potential recovery of over $1,000. Do you smoke that much weed? You're that out of your mind. I know you spend a ton on weed. You're that gone that you need someone else to say no or else you can't consent to you opening a debt that blazed every day.

[Melissa]

We're married so we're supposed to talk about it, don't we? So I don't understand.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yes, conversations are nice, but you can't have an opinion unless he says something. You can't have self control unless he says something and brings out the belt.

[Melissa]

All the new all the new dip is about what's for the house. Like it's not.

[Caleb Hammer]

You still have agency. You're allowed to have the no opinion Even if he has the yes opinion. You know that, right? Do you? Apparently not. What do you guys think your household financial score is? 0 to 10, 0 being the absolute worst, 10 being the absolute best.

[Melissa]

0.

[Caleb Hammer]

3 maybe. I mean, I doubt it. But why do you think it's a 3?

[Jonathan]

You said 10 being the best.

[Caleb Hammer]

10 being the best you can ever imagine.

[Jonathan]

I'm gonna say three. The only reason I said three because it's. It's slowly but surely get getting adjusted into making the changes that we usually need make. But.

[Melissa]

Oh, Lord.

[Caleb Hammer]

Let's. Let's answer a basic question then. Okay, so we know what comes in is about like 6,000 bucks a month. It's kind of what lined up. I mean, okay, we're getting cash advance and a bunch of. I'm not going to count that. But what went out? What was your outflow?

[Melissa]

More than what we make?

[Jonathan]

Yeah, I'm going to say about 1.5 times over.

[Caleb Hammer]

Me, about 9500.

[Melissa]

1500.

[Caleb Hammer]

Over 9500 was the total, like in a month.

[Melissa]

That's what we spent. 9,500 in a month?

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah.

[Jonathan]

You sure that's right? I don't think that's right.

[Melissa]

That's. That's.

[Caleb Hammer]

That's numbers. If you want to figure out your hammer financial score, make sure you go to calebhammer.com, take the assessment. It is free. See where you stand in the world of money. It's free. It takes a few minutes. See where you're doing poorly, where you're doing great, and how to get great from your bad position if you are. And if you don't want to be in that bad position for long, like the guests on this show, make sure you download the dollar wise budgeting app. There's a free trial to see if you like it. And most people take the annual version after the free trial because it saves a lot of money. And you get my personal 30 day detailed meal plan that breaks out every snack, every meal, every recipe, everything you have to do. And it comes with the digital cookbook as well so that you can budget your meals effectively. No more excuses. I will sign it and mail it directly to you. There you go. I thought you enjoy.

[Melissa]

Canceled those.

[Caleb Hammer]

The cookbook.

[Melissa]

The cookbook.

[Caleb Hammer]

Now there's the digital version of the cookbook that comes with the 30 day meal plan.

[Melissa]

Okay. Okay. Because I try to get your cookbook, but as you can see, apparently $9,000 out is crazy.

[Jonathan]

I think your cookbook is a little bit outside my budget.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, I mean, it came with the annual Version of the budgeting app. And the budgeting app would have saved. Yeah, but it would have saved you hundreds of months, so actually you would have. But either way, who has credit one? I need to know what's co signed, what's, who's on what, all that kind of stuff. Who's on credit one?

[Melissa]

Me, just.

[Caleb Hammer]

You just. He's not on it. Okay.

[Melissa]

He used to be on the old credit one.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, credit one's like the worst of the worst of the worst of the worst. It doesn't get much better than this.

[Melissa]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

So tell me, tell me what's going on with Credit one.

[Melissa]

So the old account, I overdraft it so much. And why? Because we were obviously living above our means, as you can see.

[Caleb Hammer]

Doing what?

[Melissa]

Well, back in the day, we. Yes, back in 2023 or whatever.

[Caleb Hammer]

And I know you're calorically excited, but I.

[Melissa]

We used to spend a lot of money on weed.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, like you don't now? Come on. 22 in Shipley Donuts immediately, right there blazed out of your mind. I know that's what you're doing the

[Jonathan]

known as this for. It's for the family. It's not whether it's just for her or me, it's for her mom to. Who helps out with the kids.

[Melissa]

Yes, it is.

[Caleb Hammer]

Doesn't for the family. It doesn't for you. I got it.

[Melissa]

Okay.

[Caleb Hammer]

Shipley is good. Houston based. I love me a Shipley.

[Melissa]

Yeah.

[Jonathan]

You never been to Shipley's?

[Caleb Hammer]

I just thought I liked it.

[Jonathan]

Hey.

[Melissa]

Well, we would spend so much money, like, and we didn't have weed and

[Caleb Hammer]

then going out to eat.

[Melissa]

Yes, yes, yes, we did. But in order to, you know, pay for other things, I would use my credit card, like sometimes gas, stuff like that in my credit card. Even food? Even food. And it was to the point that I just couldn't keep up with it.

[Caleb Hammer]

Even food. Yes. That's what we were spending on, right? That's what we were. Yeah. You spent almost 1000 bucks going out the last month. Shut the up. That's what you were. Were. That's what you are. That's what you are. What do you mean were? Were. You don't know were. You are. And you will. That's what you do now when you

[Jonathan]

don't have time to cook. This is what you.

[Caleb Hammer]

If you have time to meal prep, you have time to warm up. Absolutely.

[Melissa]

Well, it feels like we're in the trenches right now.

[Caleb Hammer]

You both work 40 hours a week. Shut the up.

[Jonathan]

The work schedule that we have in the Times that we come, we get home at 7.

[Caleb Hammer]

That's what both of my parents did who worked even more hours. And what did we do? Spaghetti Every day. That's what happens. It's not yummy. It's not great. White people. White people tacos. Super fun.

[Melissa]

Okay, but people kids are nowadays picky, so.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, nowadays a two year old and one year old shot.

[Melissa]

They don't want spaghetti.

[Caleb Hammer]

They will eat.

[Jonathan]

Not all kids are born the same. Not all kids have the same.

[Caleb Hammer]

Are they?

[Melissa]

No.

[Caleb Hammer]

They will eat. They will figure it out. Dude, come on. Unless you spoil them and give them every single little thing they want. Are they, how many, how many do they have? Are they on the iPad? Not at all. They are never on a device.

[Jonathan]

I don't have no iPad.

[Caleb Hammer]

Thank. Well, I don't understand how you guys.

[Melissa]

My kids. So I don't want that. So I. Yeah, I watch. I'm an iPad kid, so I don't want that.

[Caleb Hammer]

And then.

[Melissa]

But the food.

[Caleb Hammer]

You put 130 bucks on here. It's not an emergency fund. This is not an emergency fund. This credit one card that you are now above the balance of 22.84. Above the limit. Okay. 522.82 is what you owe on here. Or 84. Sorry. With a 30 minimum monthly payment takes two years to pay off. Minimums only. But there are fees being added. There are minimum, minimum interest being added.

[Melissa]

I didn't know anything about.

[Caleb Hammer]

That's what credit one is. It's just endless. Fees, fees, fees, fees, fees, fees, fees, fees, fees, fees, fees. Forever.

[Melissa]

I didn't know until watching your show about credit one how bad it was.

[Caleb Hammer]

It's bad.

[Melissa]

Yeah.

[Jonathan]

And I had no idea either.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why, why, why? Why were we putting donuts on a credit card that is accruing interest that we cannot pay off? Just alone. Just alone. That concept. Why please anyone?

[Jonathan]

Because that's $20 that we don't have to spend.

[Caleb Hammer]

And what was your plan? That is you spent.

[Jonathan]

Well, it's not our money that we had to pay back. But it's not coming out of right then and there.

[Caleb Hammer]

Then you know, at that exact moment. Sure. So what was our grand plan with this? What were you thinking every time you do this. What was our plan in the future?

[Melissa]

Our plan was we'll pay it back.

[Caleb Hammer]

How?

[Melissa]

Working checks by checks.

[Jonathan]

More hours, overtime. The overtime I get from my job.

[Caleb Hammer]

You work 40 hours a week. You're bringing 3,000 bucks a month.

[Melissa]

And 9,000 was out.

[Jonathan]

And in my job. Well, rent bills. Yes. Necessities that the kids.

[Caleb Hammer]

Which Shipley's is not.

[Jonathan]

It's a small little treat for the kids.

[Caleb Hammer]

The kids are for horror. Come on.

[Jonathan]

Well, it's for the kids and her, so. And don't forget her mom also watches the kids, so we also got to tend to her mom, make sure her mom's taken care of.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, I'm okay with that part because that saves money over. Over the long term versus, like daycare because you're able to work. Okay, so I'm okay with that part. But Shipley's we don't have to get. Okay, okay, listen. Both of you do need to make more money. That is true. I'll get you both course career certifications of your choice, either the trades or into tech. A lot of people in the audience have used them to either get new positions at their companies or better positions outside their companies. Get six figure jobs. Course careers is great. So I'll get you set up with those. Okay. Convert those into better paying jobs. You have to. Yeah, okay. You have to. It's not the easiest job market in the world right now, but we added a lot of jobs last month. Maybe it's getting better. We'll see. Snap. Snap. Why do you owe to Snap? Oh, no, it's gone to collection. Oh, wait, no. Oh, it's been sold off, but it's still on minimum the payment. What the is going on here? Who has this? What? What is going on here? Can someone educate me? Give me a little education?

[Melissa]

I don't know what that is.

[Caleb Hammer]

What the. Is your documents?

[Melissa]

The mattress. Gotcha.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, what the mattress did you get?

[Melissa]

This wasn't my last relationship, so this is how I got the dip.

[Jonathan]

What? So I'm dealing with something from your last relationship.

[Melissa]

You. Yes.

[Caleb Hammer]

You guys talked about being together.

[Melissa]

This he just. See, this is the thing. Repetition. I always better keep telling him the same thing.

[Jonathan]

Small finance that you kept up. He's a small finance. You kept away. I understand you told me about the situation itself, but it's about small financial things. You happen. I'm dealing with this now.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, like nine years later. What the. How. How possibly you're still paying money on

[Melissa]

everything else and never paid more.

[Caleb Hammer]

Like, what was this? L. No, it's a $25 a month loan. Like this will never be paid off. Never be paid off. This is crazy. You still owe $1940.92 at a $25. What was this mattress? Possibly. Yeah, he got this in 2021, which. That doesn't even add up with the six years by the way, are you seeing him overlap? It's 20, 26 right now. Not seven.

[Melissa]

Yeah, but like, we got together like so fast after that relationship, so maybe that's.

[Caleb Hammer]

What was the mattress that you still owe 2,000 on with the $25 payment. What was this?

[Melissa]

So with my ex, I was leaving with him at that time.

[Caleb Hammer]

I got that part. Is it like a thirty thousand dollar mattress? I want whatever it is. It must be incredible.

[Melissa]

It was. It was.

[Caleb Hammer]

What was it?

[Melissa]

It's two twins with like, you combine as a queen or king or whatever, but they're like, you can brace them up or massage or whatever. It's.

[Caleb Hammer]

Massage?

[Melissa]

Yeah.

[Jonathan]

It's like a deluxe suite.

[Melissa]

Like orthopedic. I don't know, but that. And then they included supposedly, a free 65 inch TV. But the ex convinced me because we were living in the apartment with an air mattress, his inflatable air mattress.

[Caleb Hammer]

So you have to get a million dollar mattress, a super mattress.

[Melissa]

I didn't think anything. I just. I was just so.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, but you're still paying on it. You're paying on it.

[Melissa]

Yeah, I am.

[Caleb Hammer]

Your ex, he.

[Melissa]

I don't know what he's doing. I don't. I don't know nothing about him anymore. But this is my portion. No, no. Thank God.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, 25 bucks a month for, like, ever. Unless. Who knows what the interest is, if any. I don't really know.

[Melissa]

I think they closed it, so I don't think there's interest.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, it was closed, sold the collections, and now you're on a payment plan with collections?

[Melissa]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Like, this is crazy. Okay. 194.

[Melissa]

Well, I. This is the first time I got into a payment plan. I never paid it until now. I just started paying this, like, last month.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah. Okay. So it went to collections. It may have actually fallen off relatively soon. But now you're on this, so it's all reset.

[Melissa]

Oh, Lord.

[Caleb Hammer]

77 months to pay off. It's pretty brutal.

[Melissa]

Mm.

[Caleb Hammer]

You'll have this for six and a half years. Six and a half years. You're gonna be paying on this.

[Jonathan]

A mattress. I'm not sleeping on the mattress.

[Caleb Hammer]

You're not sleeping on where he used.

[Melissa]

Oh, gosh.

[Jonathan]

Great, great, great.

[Melissa]

Okay. But that's the past, you know?

[Jonathan]

Okay.

[Caleb Hammer]

Kind of. Not really. It's right now. I would actually say it's right now because you're paying on it right now.

[Melissa]

At least with my money. At least with what I work for,

[Jonathan]

I realize it's our money. We are together, so we are joint income, you know, we don't, we don't have a shared account, but we realize we were making money together in the same relationship.

[Caleb Hammer]

So why aren't you guys joined?

[Melissa]

Because there's no money. What, what we're supposed to join for, there's negative.

[Caleb Hammer]

If you're separate with no money be

[Jonathan]

joint with no money, it's more or less the, the spending that come. That can come out of that one account. And then we'll really be looking at each other like where, where is this going? What? Stuff like that.

[Caleb Hammer]

Did you say all money goes into one account?

[Jonathan]

No. If it were, if it were, why don't we.

[Caleb Hammer]

Because then we would have more insights. Again, put it through dollar wise with the automated account connections and insights, you'll know exactly where it's going regardless. But at least with one account that makes it easier, right? I don't understand. Why not?

[Melissa]

Because again, I just thought it was unnecessary since there's no money. I mean what money we're going to put in there? The rent money. I mean we already pay that in our separate accounts. Like we just make sure that we have it and whoever has that money pays it off.

[Jonathan]

Yes. From my point of view, I don't see no benefits in having a joint account.

[Caleb Hammer]

The benefit is again, more insights, more control you're able to send out from that bank account out. Everything comes in, you know how much is coming in. It makes more sense. Okay. Collections. I'm being told this is yours. So you do have debt apartment. Why do you owe apartment collections?

[Jonathan]

We broke a lease.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why? Who's we?

[Jonathan]

The apartment was applied underneath my name at first. Cause this is the apartment that we moved into when I, when I was. Instead of me moving in with my mom, I moved in with also.

[Caleb Hammer]

You just moved down. I don't think you broke it. If you broke it, you would have a little payment thing that you could make with it.

[Jonathan]

Yeah, so we broke it and didn't pay it. Yeah. So in the process of us breaking a lease, what happened with that is we had a car. We had a car. And the apartment complex has parking. A small parking like small parking apartment complex and everything like that. They have a section where you have guests and residents.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, that's normal.

[Jonathan]

And then you have also spots. They're like reserved for people who actually pay for spots. Everything, everything, even from the guest spots was taken.

[Caleb Hammer]

That's normal. That happens. Yeah.

[Jonathan]

And then they four they put, they put me into a position where I had to park in a guest spot. And then the apartment complex switched up their parking situations. Like four or five times.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay.

[Jonathan]

And then the past two times, they ain't let us know anything. No, they will send like a notice or send out mass sex or anything like that. The past two times ain't do nothing. So.

[Caleb Hammer]

So you bail on your apartment, up your credit forever.

[Melissa]

Like, what? He caught his car, my car.

[Jonathan]

Got told due to the fact that's annoying.

[Caleb Hammer]

So you pay the bill, you get it back. But it's 500 to 600. This is 4079. Which one's worse? Like, yes, that's annoying. I. I'm with you. That. That's annoying. I got that.

[Melissa]

Well, also, we broke it because we were literally a month away from giving birth to our first son. So the apartment complex refused to change the

[Jonathan]

carpet, the maintenance for the apartment.

[Melissa]

So I didn't want my kid to be crawling in this dirty carpet.

[Caleb Hammer]

Clean it, get a carpet cleaner for like $200 on thumbtack. I use them, they come clean my rugs, and I have a decently sized house. It's not that expensive, that. $200 to get your carpet cleaned or 4000, which one's better? $500 to get your car untowed. Or $4000, which one's better? Guys standing up to the man. Just you.

[Melissa]

It did.

[Caleb Hammer]

And now I'm guessing your guys credit's. So with his collections and everything. Good luck moving from your current place

[Jonathan]

if you need to.

[Caleb Hammer]

Exactly. No, you'll never be able to. Is your nice. Is your new place at least decent? You like your new place? Oh, great.

[Jonathan]

Here's the thing. As far as the place that we're in right now, that's another thing we need to talk about. That was something that I was also excluded off from as well. So in the midst of us trying to get inside the house, she already had plans on what the house looked like and everything like that.

[Caleb Hammer]

She only told you guys have a house.

[Melissa]

That's the house we're renting.

[Caleb Hammer]

But you don't like it. It's a house.

[Jonathan]

I'm gonna say it's the house that is a house, is a house. But the fact that I was exc. Like what the house looked like. Like the whole process of us moving to the house, I ain't know nothing until we actually officially got there.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, who cares?

[Jonathan]

I care.

[Caleb Hammer]

I mean, yeah, that's nice, but like, we're just trying to get more space for the kid, I assume. Yeah, but even so, for the dog. But you don't even like it and you picked it.

[Melissa]

Well, I didn't know when I got there. The reason why don't you like it and you can't. The reason why is because there was no lease. There's no lease. So if there's no breaking.

[Jonathan]

And then she. She like only liked it because it was convenient to stay by her mom.

[Melissa]

Because her mom was five minutes from my mom.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yes. That's good.

[Melissa]

Especially if she's daycare for the dog.

[Caleb Hammer]

That' good too. What's the issue?

[Melissa]

So the issue is that it's now kind of falling apart. It's. There's no he, there's no maintenance.

[Caleb Hammer]

But you're not on a lease. Isn't that good?

[Melissa]

Yes, that's why I tried to move into an apartment and that was not like. So we pay one.

[Caleb Hammer]

Cuz no one will accept you anywhere. I mean you'll have to do like a mom PA and just explain the situation. But I mean you're still probably considered touristic.

[Melissa]

There's still. There's still not.

[Caleb Hammer]

Who. Who the would run to you guys? Absolutely not.

[Melissa]

So who would. I mean in my thought process I'm like, we've paying 1,500. We can definitely pay 900 apartment. And so that's why I applied how it works, girl.

[Caleb Hammer]

No. You okay? Yeah. So I mean, that's shit. I mean makes sense. I don't know. Now it's in collections and you can't. I mean I would. You're gonna have to negotiate that down to like 2000. I don't necessarily want to borrow for it.

[Jonathan]

I don't know.

[Caleb Hammer]

But it's preventing you from moving. Yeah, that's. That's gonna hurt you longer term.

[Melissa]

It really is. It really is. And trying collections.

[Caleb Hammer]

Money key. Oh, what's money? That sounds like you. What is it?

[Melissa]

Yes, I was alone to pay for rent.

[Jonathan]

Why?

[Melissa]

Because I didn't have. We didn't have the money.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, but you could have worked. I know you weren't. And your mother was there?

[Melissa]

No, this is back in.

[Caleb Hammer]

How close was she?

[Melissa]

My mom? 40 minutes.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, even still then you drive 40 minutes, drop the kid off, go work your ass off and drive 40 minutes. Life has been great all the time. You have to make sacrifices. Now you're doing payday loans that are now in collections. That's what happens. So what the.

[Melissa]

Well, I just. I'm just.

[Caleb Hammer]

It's only 700 too. Like, I mean. Yes, that, that is. Don't get me wrong, 700 is an impactful amount of money. You spent 900 going out to eat last month. You could get this off your Credit. Save that $900 twice. You might be able to negotiate your apartment collections down. You guys have an escape path here with how much you spend.

[Jonathan]

So you telling us to.

[Melissa]

Honestly, we didn't know we were spending

[Jonathan]

money on no shit. So you tell us to maneuver from fast food to saving cooking at home.

[Melissa]

Yeah. Okay, well, I still feel like we're living in the trenches, so it's like we. Not.

[Jonathan]

Here's a. Here's a stereotypical black turn. So my grandmother, before she passed, she told me, she always told us about a saying called catchers catch can. So what?

[Caleb Hammer]

Say it again.

[Jonathan]

Catchers catch can.

[Caleb Hammer]

Catchers catch can.

[Jonathan]

Yes.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. Yes, explain.

[Jonathan]

So you're in the kitchen, you're the catcher, you catch what you can.

[Caleb Hammer]

Is that bottom is who. Okay, continue.

[Jonathan]

No, so I was saying, so you're in the cat, you're in the kitchen. So you're hungry, you play.

[Caleb Hammer]

You.

[Jonathan]

You are the catcher. So you in the kitchen, you catch what you can to fix. Feed yourself. So you catch your catch can.

[Melissa]

Saying make hot dogs.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, so essentially it's a weird way of saying eat what's at home.

[Melissa]

Pretty much.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay.

[Melissa]

Okay.

[Caleb Hammer]

Could have just said that, but yeah. Guess we need a saying for everything.

[Melissa]

He preaches that all the time, but he doesn't.

[Caleb Hammer]

I have a saying. You guys are poor and fix that. There you go. Follow that saying. That'll get you places.

[Melissa]

Dang.

[Jonathan]

Well, I think fix that.

[Caleb Hammer]

Don't forget the fix it part.

[Jonathan]

Bob the Builder style. Right.

[Caleb Hammer]

Study and play come together on a Windows 11 PC. And for a limited time, college students get the best of both worlds. Get the unreal college deal. Everything you need to study and play with select Windows 11 PC. These eligible students get a year of Microsoft 365 Premium and a year of Xbox game pass ultimate with a custom color Xbox wireless controller. Learn [e-mail] studentoffer while supplies last ends June 30th terms at aka Ms. College PC. Yeah. Bob the Builder. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We love Bob the Builder. Ah, yes. You guys have kids. That's okay. I was wondering. I was like, is that what you're watching for entertainment? It would make sense. But no.

[Jonathan]

We watch Dragon Tales and Curious George.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. Good picks, good picks. That modern slop. I appreciate it.

[Melissa]

Exactly.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, it sounds like the kids are growing up in a non iPad, decent cartoons. I appreciate that. I really do. Okay, so 700. I don't know why not even if you get on payment plan for that. But instead you did for the bet of 2000. But whatever owed to Mother. Which mother? Whose mother? I know we both have mothers.

[Melissa]

Okay, my mother.

[Caleb Hammer]

2,500. Why? Possibly

[Melissa]

for electricity.

[Caleb Hammer]

Good death woman. Yes, they have a bill you haven't borrowed against. And when you guys both, right now, you guys make $6,000 a month like you. You make okay money. Like very livable median household income money. What is the issue here? And that's net. That's not gross, that's net. Starbucks is bull and a waste of money and you already know that by making your coffee at home in the rest. So now you need to do that with your energy drink as well. Make gamer subs at home for just 40 cents a serving. And honestly it literally tastes better. And we proved this accidentally via a blind taste test in our Hammer Elite show Fat and Fatter. The number one ranked energy drink is ginger. Literally. The cherry flavor is insane. Listen, you can also get free samples to see if you like it or 10% off your order at gamersupps gg or click that link in the description below. Type in code Caleb Stop Bleeding out Money Making minimum payments across multiple high interest accounts Most Americans are spending hundreds, sometimes thousands of dollars that could be going toward actually paying down debt instead of aligning some banks pockets. And look, if you're sitting on high interest credit card debt, a car loan at 18% or oh my goodness, a payday loan charging you triple digit interest rates, you need to hear this. If you've already cut up the cards and built better financial habits, but you're still drowning in interest payments, barely making progress, this is for you. I have opened my very own marketplace, a personal loan marketplace that lets you get personalized offers from multiple lenders. In one place you can see if you pre qualify in minutes and it won't impact your credit score. But here's the deal. This isn't a magic bullet. If you refinance your debt but keep swiping, you're just making the profit problem worse. You still need to fix the behavior that screwed you in the first place. But if you're serious about getting out of debt faster, you could potentially lower your monthly payment by securing a single payment at a much better rate. Check out the link in the description below to see your personalized offers or go to caleb hammer.com and remember you still got to do the work.

[Melissa]

But this is when I was a stay at home mom that I had to borrow this money cuz he didn't. Even though he had two jobs, he couldn't couldn't still afford everything in the house.

[Caleb Hammer]

Everything that you wanted by the way. Because you were probably still spending money, going out to eat. Then you're like, oh, mommy.

[Melissa]

So I need to be.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yes, you were. Absolutely. Yes, you were. Yes, you were. Yes, you were. Yes, you were. Yes, you were. Yes, you were. You were getting. It was displaced. Absolutely. Amazon, whatever it is. Absolutely. I know for a fact the spending does not get like this where it was not before. That's impossible. You can't tell me that you wouldn't be borrowing money from your mother. 2,500.

[Melissa]

Yeah, well, most of it was for light bill. Cause it did get shut off, so I didn't want my kids to. The light bill got shut off, so we. I had to.

[Caleb Hammer]

What month was it shut off?

[Melissa]

Ooh, maybe January of.

[Jonathan]

Probably this year. No, if not this year, then last year.

[Melissa]

Last year, I think.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, no, no. Was it January 25th or 26th?

[Melissa]

25,

[Caleb Hammer]

guys. Was it this year or last year?

[Melissa]

I don't know, guys.

[Caleb Hammer]

Was it five months ago or last year?

[Jonathan]

Safely?

[Melissa]

We don't remember last year. Let's just say last year.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, I need to know exactly. I need to know. Search your chat with your mother. I need to know exactly when the electricity was paid off. Would it be in your chat history?

[Melissa]

No. Cause I talked to her in front of face to face.

[Caleb Hammer]

I want to look at your checking account out during that month. But you can't even tell. Of course you're spending money on. Absolutely. Of course you were. There's no way you weren't. Now, are you on a payment plan or anything? Did you have one kid or two kids when it was shut off?

[Jonathan]

One.

[Melissa]

One. Yeah. So it was.

[Caleb Hammer]

You just don't know what month?

[Melissa]

Yeah.

[Jonathan]

So it was the time period. Like that. A time period. A little long time.

[Caleb Hammer]

Was it warm or cold out?

[Melissa]

It was getting hotter again, so it would have to be January, February. February, probably. I don't.

[Jonathan]

Well, this is Houston, so maybe like it started gets hot like around March, April.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, good death. Oh, good death. How are you guys gonna just make it in life? What the are we doing here? What the are we doing here?

[Jonathan]

Living on a. Living on a dream.

[Caleb Hammer]

What do your parents think about your financial situation currently?

[Melissa]

Oh, they're my mom.

[Jonathan]

That really doesn't. My parents really don't know much about my finances. Or they don't really know much about what's going on in my own household. Cause I keep that discreetly between.

[Melissa]

We don't ask them for financial.

[Caleb Hammer]

500 woman.

[Melissa]

No, his mom.

[Jonathan]

I don't ask my people. I don't ask my Parents for any financial advice because why advice? Just in general. Because my. My parents separated when I was 10 months old. Nine. 10 months old.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, I know.

[Jonathan]

And then due to that, due from that point on, it was really my dad who walked away. So trying to talk to my dad about the advice or anything kind of advice at all, it just went left.

[Melissa]

It's in worse situation financially.

[Caleb Hammer]

That's fine. That's fine.

[Melissa]

So. But yeah, that's part of it. And then.

[Caleb Hammer]

And are you honest to your parents about your financial situation while you borrow money for them because your dad's up next? Are you honest?

[Melissa]

Yes.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. I'm being told specifically no. So tell me the truth, woman.

[Melissa]

She does know. It's just parents.

[Caleb Hammer]

Because you borrowed 2,500 from your dad as well.

[Melissa]

Yeah, yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Come on.

[Melissa]

They know why I borrowed the money from them.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yes, but your financial situation overall. Do they know that you're spending $1,000 going out to E. $1,200 on miscellaneous instead of paying them back a single dime?

[Melissa]

No, the p. They do not.

[Caleb Hammer]

Of course not. Let's call them in the post show. Yes, absolutely. Yes, I will call them. And I'm telling them how you're spending your money. Absolutely. I bet she's watching the kids right now, isn't she, huh? We're having a nice little chat. Okay, so why'd you borrow 2500 from your dad? The English speaking dad? Insurance for car 2,500.

[Melissa]

It's been years of.

[Caleb Hammer]

This is pathetic. What is wrong with you guys? You're 27. It's time to grow the up. There is nothing wrong with falling onto loving family when you face a hard time time. But you're not facing a hard time. You are spending money you don't have on you don't need. That is not improving life. And then you borrow from them for insurance for years. You borrow for the lights because you chose fun over lights because you refuse to work even though mother can watch. This is pathetic. You guys make okay money when you both work, which is what you can do. And yet you borrow from them continuously and don't pay them back a single cent. It's pathetic. You should feel pathetic. You should feel ashamed. You deserve that feeling. Now you need to do something with it, but you deserve that feeling.

[Jonathan]

Well, it's kind of hard to hit me with that feeling because no, I ain't gonna say I don't care too much, but it's.

[Caleb Hammer]

You don't care. You have no pride as a man.

[Jonathan]

I have pride. It just haven't hit me like that yet.

[Caleb Hammer]

How is it not right now? Where's the wake up call? What could I even say to you?

[Jonathan]

I don't know yet. I'm still trying to figure that part out.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, I think you just don't give a shit then. And then what's the point of any of this if you don't give a shit? If you don't give a shit, you're never gonna take care of her. You're never gonna take care of the kids. You're never gonna sacrifice, sacrifice anything. You're never going to cut back on spending. You're never going to combine accounts. You're never going to open a budgeting app. You're never going to educate yourself. You're never going to have a hard conversation with her without running away like a little pussy. You're never going to stop cheating. You're never going to do anything unless you man the up and care about the consequences to the actions that you are doing. You're never going to do anything. Maybe you shouldn't say

[Jonathan]

I'm staying regardless.

[Caleb Hammer]

What? Even if she wants to leave, she wants to leave.

[Jonathan]

That's on her.

[Caleb Hammer]

She can find a copy and paste it view in Houston like this.

[Jonathan]

It's Houston. So I mean.

[Caleb Hammer]

Exactly, that's what I'm saying. But you a small skinny black guy. Yeah, I think she can find him.

[Jonathan]

Find them. I mean finding versus maintaining is two different things.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, she can't maintain you. You don't give a. The only reason you're not gone is because of child support. You said it yourself, right? Disgusting. Man up.

[Jonathan]

Or call that survival.

[Caleb Hammer]

Survival? What about survival of your kids? I'm sorry, I. I've had fun goofing and gooning and whatnot to the, you know, like hehehe jokes and stuff like that. But I have to ask now, just like this is a man to man, you know, not, not a racial thing. Man to man though. Why don't you want to beat a stereotype that is bad and disgusting? I mean it's a shitty stereotype. It is. It sucks that it exists. It does. We can joke about and we can have fun because we joke about all stereotypes here. It's the fun of the show. But why would you not want to crush that stereotype in like a reality with everything you just said. You not caring and you not leaving just out of fear for having to give a little bit of money. Why not crush that? Why not try to be a pillar of your community and try to make life better and look better and Be better.

[Jonathan]

Ain't that what time was for? For to build that experience, to make sure that it gets to a point like that, Right?

[Caleb Hammer]

Huh?

[Jonathan]

You had to build that experience over time to get to a point like that, right?

[Caleb Hammer]

But you said you don't care. You told me you don't care.

[Jonathan]

Now the wake up call hasn't hit me yet. I ain't said did.

[Caleb Hammer]

What, what can she do then if she hears that? What the do you expect from her at that point she should leave? I don't know.

[Melissa]

I don't.

[Caleb Hammer]

I don't want love to break up or a kid to not have a father, but at that point she should leave. If the guy next to her says he doesn't care, that's it. That's as being a pathetic excuse for a man if you don't care. If you don't have a wake up call, you still got to put in the effort regardless to step up for the household, for your community.

[Jonathan]

Go to work.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, you go to work. But you just told me you don't care.

[Jonathan]

If I didn't care, I wouldn't be working at all. But I care. So I, I care about putting in 40 hours.

[Caleb Hammer]

I mean, you're doing kind of the basic minimum requirement. Like you'd be doing the same even if you're on your own. So you could pay for your own bills.

[Jonathan]

But I wouldn't be, it wouldn't be as much of debt involved.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah. It wouldn't be as annoying at home. Yes. I don't know. That's really disappointing, man. That's really disappointing. So disappointing that you even owe to your dad's friend $7,000 to your dad's friend. If that isn't a wake up call for how pathetic this household is, I don't know what else could be.

[Melissa]

Well, we needed a car. We needed a car. So. Because we were down to one car and it was a beat up car and it gave up. It gave up us. It gave up on us. So we had zero cars.

[Jonathan]

The cars that I will receive, the cars that I was be given, it would always be broke down or be wrecked. And I think right now we are on our. I'm on my third car.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah. So what happens when we're getting cheap beaters? Is this gonna be even worse over time? So I wanna get a $10,000 car at a minimum that is approved by multiple mechanics before we leave. So how are you paying on this to the dad's friend? Of course not. Why would we? What a joke. What is. So does this Car still exist today? This one. What is it?

[Jonathan]

It's a 27, 2017 Buick Encore.

[Melissa]

Buick. And it's broken down.

[Caleb Hammer]

It just asked if it's being driven to.

[Melissa]

It broke down, literally.

[Jonathan]

So right now, did you guys drive

[Caleb Hammer]

to get over here?

[Melissa]

My car.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, so how are you getting places?

[Jonathan]

I would take my. I had my dad. Since my dad work with my dad. I have my aunt work with my homeboy. I have them taking me from work and taking me home.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why didn't we do that instead and just save up?

[Melissa]

He said that he don't want to be. Cause he said that his dad, he feels like he's a bother. He don't want to.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, you are, but you're a bother of your household now. You're a bother of her dad. Dad's friend. Be a bother of your dad. It's okay.

[Melissa]

I told him this. I was like. I was like, I'm willing. Look, I'm willing to take you to work at 5. At 4 in the morning.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, there you go. She's even willing. What the is wrong with you?

[Melissa]

No, that's too much, and I'm bleeping it.

[Caleb Hammer]

What's your address? Oh, my goodness. You guys don't even barely live that far out of this city. I guarantee you you can find a bus nearby. Okay, what's the address for your work? You can bike there.

[Jonathan]

Yeah. 18, 20 minutes, right?

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah. Oh, you little cut man. It's gonna be a little bit more of a bike, but like a motorized bike or a moped, man. Moped. You know what? It's two turns. Two turns. Oh, sorry. Okay. One turn, two turn, and you're there. That's all it is. It's a straight shot. It's a straight shot. Airport to Scott to the street you work on. What is wrong with you borrowing money for this car? I mean, it would be a brutal walk. I'm not suggesting doing the walk, especially in Houston. Good luck. The bike ride. I mean. Yeah, it's gonna take you like 30 minutes, but I. Let me see. Okay. Public transportation. No, it actually, they can't find a way there. Cause it's Houston. It's pathetic. But you can moped. You could get a moped that's not going to break down. And I know it rains a lot in Houston. Get a little raincoat. I know it's not perfect, but looking at what you're having to do. Look at what you're having to do if you're not willing to sacrifice anything. Okay, so what are we going to do? With the car that's broken down.

[Jonathan]

The bjork between trying to make a way to try to fix it or give it up.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, how much is it going to cost?

[Melissa]

To fix it?

[Jonathan]

To fix it.

[Caleb Hammer]

You got a quote.

[Jonathan]

Is. So parts is like 393. Labor is 696.

[Melissa]

So 9 something.

[Jonathan]

984 total, guys.

[Caleb Hammer]

You spent that going out to eat. Okay. Your mom's friend, you borrowed 3,000. You guys are pathetic. This is the most pathetic borrowing I've ever witnessed. What do you owe to your mom's friend? What?

[Melissa]

That was a down payment for the car.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, good. Death. So down payment from mom's friend was given to dad's friend for the car that you borrowed. Seven thousand from dad's.

[Melissa]

And still.

[Caleb Hammer]

What a joke. Are you paying her? I really want it. We're working on it. Either you're doing it or you're not. So shut the up. I really hope, I pray that your kids watch this at 15 or 16 or 17 and they see that their parents improved and this is where they came from. Because it'll give them a good kick in the ass for their life seeing how their parents were and that they made it work because they sacrificed a little.

[Melissa]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

But if they watch this and they're 16 and 17 and it's just as bad, if not worse, they should be ashamed.

[Jonathan]

I was looking as more or less a lesson, a stepping stone.

[Caleb Hammer]

Sorry. Yeah, you should cry about that. You should.

[Melissa]

I feel like.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, you're being a shitty parent. Yes, you are. Financially, yes, you are. Financially, yes. Not necessarily bowing.

[Melissa]

I hate. I hate owing people.

[Caleb Hammer]

Do you? Because you do it every five seconds of your life. Like, I would cry with you if it wasn't proven against. Like, I don't think you guys are necessarily morally bad people while the cheating is so.

[Melissa]

No, that's crazy.

[Caleb Hammer]

Like, I don't know. You know, you don't beat each other, right?

[Melissa]

No, no, no, no.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, I went there. You. I can't define you as an overall bad people, but as far as on the show. Yes, you are. You are. But you don't have to be forever. Right now doesn't define your entire future. And the past doesn't define right now. What happens in the future is up to you, but you don't give a. You don't have a wake up call and you just keep borrowing and sacrifice nothing. You just want to eat to the landlord, to your current landlord that you don't even have a contract for. You owe 1500 for what?

[Jonathan]

That's the rent.

[Melissa]

But we already paid half of it.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, so it's 750. But you still own monthly on top of that, right?

[Melissa]

Just this month. It's just this month that we owe.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. And then next month. What? You don't owe rent next month?

[Melissa]

Yeah. So we're late again. So we're always late on rent.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, good death. Good death. Yet. Okay. How can you be late on rent and still go out to eat? That makes no sense to me. You owe a parent. Okay, you're just being a selfish dick. But what the. You. You're late on rent and you're going out to eat? That's insane. Yeah, why not? Student loans. Past due. Sure. Are these federal?

[Melissa]

I believe so.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, you're gonna get garnished. If they're past due, they're gonna get defaulted on and they're gonna get garnished and you're gonna lose like 30% of your paycheck, which you can't afford to lord. So get on a repayment assistance program. That's what was passed through the BBB last year. Okay? That's the new payment system. You can get on it. You're lower income. You can get on as low as 1, 2, 3% of your income. So call them immediately and figure this the out. Okay? Good death. I'm gonna bet it's like a $25 payment after that. Bro, come on. Did you even, did you get a degree? No, I dropped out too. It's okay. It just depends what you do with your life after that. Right, Right.

[Melissa]

But so obviously not good.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, I mean I think student loan borrowers, like 40% of them don't have a degree if I'm not mistaken. So I mean it's, it's not over surprising but what were you studying?

[Melissa]

I was a marine biologist major.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, sure. 6,500. You need to call them now, get on like a $25 payment or else it's going to get garnished and they're going to steal like, like $200 a month from your paycheck. Cuz it's the government, they can do that. 227 in our chime account. We do love Chime. Chime's great. Sign up chime.com. caleb. Get your $200 for free. You'll have just as much as they do and their chime literally in free money just by signing up. That's bad. Well you started with 98. That's even worse. Oh, we're door dashing Hawaiian bros. Okay, this is Pathetic. What a joke. Behind on rank rent. Go off. Amazon. Amazon. Teemu church. You're donating 250 to the church?

[Melissa]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

When you can't afford your own rent, the church gives people money to help pay their rent. You're not giving the church money right now. You're the people the church helps. Do you understand that? You can give more to the church when you have more money, when you get rid of debt. I'm not saying don't do your religious obligations.

[Melissa]

It's a must.

[Caleb Hammer]

Huh?

[Melissa]

It's a must.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, it's not. The church gives you money when you're in your position. Decision.

[Melissa]

We don't tell the church. We don't tell. We don't tell it.

[Caleb Hammer]

You should. That's what the community of the church is for. Typically, talk to the pastor about your financial situation. See what the pastor says. Okay. You can give more money to the charities or whatever of your choice when you sacrifice, get out of debt, have an emergency fund and have money invested. You can give more over the course of your lifetime than continuing to give a little bit of money now while you're poor. Also, 250 is insane for your financial position. Let's just be honest.

[Melissa]

Yeah, that's still a must, though.

[Jonathan]

Now, she's the one who got me into tithing for the church, so I was with it. As far as donating for the church.

[Caleb Hammer]

I'm down for it. But you guys are poor. They would give you money. Typically, churches give money to the poor.

[Melissa]

I mean, it's a must. I. I can't.

[Jonathan]

Maybe it doesn't.

[Caleb Hammer]

What? No. Talk to the pastor. See what he says. Talk to the pastor. I bet if you say, I can't afford to keep the lights on minus the. The pastor would be like, girl, you're.

[Melissa]

No, I. I still have to do my thighs.

[Caleb Hammer]

Sorry you're not willing to see what the pastor says. Wouldn't he be a better authority than you?

[Melissa]

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[Caleb Hammer]

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[Melissa]

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[Caleb Hammer]

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[Melissa]

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[Caleb Hammer]

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[Melissa]

like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. I. I mean, I have to follow

[Caleb Hammer]

my pride and you're broken. So all your Pride, swallow your McDonald's. McDonald's, Chipotle, McDonald's Amazon. Amazon. Torchy Tacos, Little Caesars, Foodorama. Why not? Bullshit. McDonald's. McDonald's. McDonald's. But you're doordashing. Aldi, Chuck E. Cheese. Sure makes sense for the kids. But you don't have to get food there. And Apple cash balance added. 250 bucks. What is wrong with you? 520. Even worse. Sp. Everyday dose.

[Melissa]

That's mushroom coffee.

[Caleb Hammer]

What is wrong with you? You're a Joke.

[Jonathan]

Joke.

[Caleb Hammer]

Subway. McDonald's. McDonald's. Amazon, Amazon, McDonald's. Walmart, Walmart. But it's. It's $3.15. You're not getting anything necessary from there. Bullshit. Apple Cash. What a joke. Chime yours. Negative $40.

[Jonathan]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, good. Bullshit, Kirby. Bullshit. And you're getting energy drinks, aren't you? Yes.

[Jonathan]

Yes.

[Caleb Hammer]

Gamer subs. You're making your energy drinks at home just like your coffee at home. There's a Steve Harvey one if you'd prefer that. All right, get that. Get your free samples. Figure out what flavor you like. Then use the 10% discount code. Caleb link in the description below as well. Just use that link. Make your energy drinks at home. Just 40 cents a serving. No more of this two $4.72 like he did at Kirby Express. Then your door dashing Papa papa's barbecue. Your ATM with raw going to the strip club. 63 bucks. Or probably cat weed. Mor. Chipotle. Not for doubt it. No. Because maybe Chipotle. McDonald's Cash App. Cash App. McDonald's Jack in the Box. You guys don't give a. You just want to eat every second of your life out to you. This is disgusting. Energy drink. China Cafe, Xbox. Jack in the box. Apple Cash out. Popeyes. Apple Cash.

[Jonathan]

You got a little Popeye?

[Caleb Hammer]

Golden chicken. Fresh donuts, huh?

[Jonathan]

Got a little Popeyes, huh?

[Caleb Hammer]

I do love Popeyes. I mean it makes me liquid. Just absolute dookie.

[Jonathan]

But yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

So I don't, unfortunately. But it's good. Yeah.

[Melissa]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Good times. Good times. Spotless. Oh, car wash in Houston. You don't need that. McDonald's. McDonald's especially your car's like broken energy drink. McDonald's while your dad drives you. This is disgusting. DoorDash again. ATM withdrawal again. ATM trial again. Energy drink. Domino's. Burger King. Energy drink. McDonald's. Amazon. This is pathetic. This is disgusting. You guys are just. You don't care. You spend all your money and you make no money and you want to quit your job and this is. You guys have just given up on life and you're just trying to get all the food down Yalls throats. Let me figure out your budget. What the. Oh, she did something as a revenge. Okay, we're going to get into it. This is crazy, but we're going to get into that. In the post show. Oh my. When you cheated, she did something that you don't know about. She's using this as a platform to talk about it. Your anxiety should be spiking. This is not. This is crazy. Okay. You're disgusting. What is wrong with you? You're a bad person. Okay, okay. I'm jumping ahead. Okay. 5,500. Your income? Just about debt payments. Dude, you're going to be pussed. We checked him, we checked his weapons. Right. Okay. $80 minimum to payment. I don't know how the. You guys can't even do that. What's your rent?

[Melissa]

1,550.

[Caleb Hammer]

What's your utilities? Internet, gas, electric, all that combined electric

[Melissa]

is probably like 250. You said gas?

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, for me is gas house gas, is it not?

[Jonathan]

No, we have electric.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. Is there Internet? How much?

[Melissa]

40 bucks.

[Caleb Hammer]

50 bucks.

[Melissa]

60 bucks.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. 310. Okay. Gas. Vroom vroom. Drive. Drive. How much?

[Jonathan]

I do between both vehicles. Just one?

[Melissa]

Yeah, both me it's just $53 per week.

[Caleb Hammer]

And you?

[Jonathan]

Same. About 50 a week.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. We'll call it 420. Very good. Car insurance. How much?

[Melissa]

Like 300 or both. Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. Phone bill?

[Melissa]

One hundred and eighty for both.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. Do helium. Once your phones are paid off. I'm assuming they're not with that bill. Okay. Groceries. What's the two year old eating?

[Melissa]

Chicken. Same.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay.

[Jonathan]

Almost every. Almost.

[Melissa]

Yeah, they eat almost

[Caleb Hammer]

800. Very good TP fund. Anything else you and the family need to survive? 300 bucks. Health care. Okay. Any minimum CO pays and whatnot monthly basis?

[Melissa]

We don't. I don't have health insurance.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why?

[Melissa]

Because I missed my deadline.

[Caleb Hammer]

$200. You're getting on at least a minimum. Okay. Subscriptions will try like 70 bucks between you both. You have any pets? Yeah, you got the dog. $50. Pet insurance because you can't afford an emergency. How much for pet food?

[Melissa]

Maybe like 60amonth.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. Is there a gym?

[Melissa]

Not anymore.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. Anything else that needs to be in this budget that I have not taken into account yet. Okay. You guys have wiggle room. I'll give you about $1,000 of wiggle

[Melissa]

room room in that first debt. Correct. Like to pay it off. Cuz we want.

[Caleb Hammer]

You have $1,000 left on a monthly basis. About 1,100. But I'm just going to round it to 1,000 to be safe. Listen, with that. Yeah, I mean your minimum three payments that you have the credit one we need to pay that off. I mean you pave that off in the first month. And the student loans you get on the minimum. You don't touch it other than the minimum on the rat plan and the bed. You pay off the bed and in two months. So in three months we have all debt paid off besides collections and family. After that you just start negotiating it down. We deal with the collections and then the family. We get on a minimum family plan. I mean even just small amounts so they can see it coming in. And it's the same amount that went to your bed in credit one. That way they can at least feel the difference in your budget doesn't change. And at that point you're just saving up 2000 for two months. You pay off the apartment. You pay off the 000 collections that you had a 700 like that. And then you start grinding away the family. This isn't hard. This is done like a year, year and a half. And then you get a fully funded emergency fund. And yeah, you keep working. I don't give a. And you should pick up extra shifts so you can pay off that quicker. Then we get a fully funded emergency fund. Then you guys live 50, 30 turning which you totally can with your income. 50 on needs. 30 on wants which is a good amount of money on wants which you finally get to have again. But you have to cut your budget down to zero which I don't believe you guys can because your spending is insane. And then 20% going to savings so you have a chance of retirement. Okay. That's what you guys are doing. Okay. I got to get in this post show because this is about aim to be insane. The shit that she did behind your back when you cheated. Glad you're using this platform to finally come clean. Let's get the hammer financial score first. Spinning in a budget. 0 out of 10 death is collection. 0 out of 10 emergency fund there's nothing. 0 out of 10. Terminus, there's nothing. 0 out 10. Real estate.

[Jonathan]

There's nothing.

[Caleb Hammer]

0.10 hammer financial score 0 out of 10. Get yours@caleb hammer.com now click that join button. Join Hammer Leaf the best membership on YouTube but three shows. Three premium incredible shows every single day, six days a week including the extra 20 minutes of this episode. The financial auto post show. It's. It's going to be wild. I'll see you there.

[Melissa]

Because you decided to cheat. I decided to step out and cheat more than you did.

[Jonathan]

So what do you mean?

[Melissa]

So I decided to cheat back and actually text my ex.

[Jonathan]

The same ex will beat you up and stuff like that. The same ex you talk that much crap about the same ex who I try to save you from is the

[Caleb Hammer]

same ex you wait what you do though? What you do though?

[Melissa]

I went to his house, meet up and couple of drinks and it was good.

[Caleb Hammer]

I just launched the brand new Hammer Elite app available on every major platform. To celebrate the app launch, I'm offering 30% off the annual plan in the month of June only. Plus I have have an exclusive offer just for you, but I'll only have a thousand available to purchase. You'll get lifetime access to the entire Hammer Elite catalog and my Hammer for Life box packed with limited edition merch. Download the Hammer Elite app by using the link in the description or pin comment down below. This is the best membership you'll ever join, and that's a promise. Your next chapter in healthcare starts at Carrington College's School of Nursing in Portland.

[Melissa]

Join us for our open house on Tuesday, January 13th from 4 to 7pm

[Caleb Hammer]

you'll tour our campus, see live demos,

[Melissa]

meet instructors, and learn about our Associate

[Caleb Hammer]

Degree in Nursing program that prepares you to become a registered nurse. Take the first step toward your nursing career.

[Melissa]

Save your spot now at Carrington.

[Caleb Hammer]

Edu Events. For information on program outcomes, visit carrington. Edu Sci.