The Most INSANE Financial Audit Ever

Summary

Podcast Summary

Financial Audit with Caleb Hammer

Episode: The Most INSANE Financial Audit Ever

Guests: Jade & Bernie

Date: May 1, 2026

---

Overview

This episode of Financial Audit features Jade and Bernie, a married couple from Southern Indiana, who find themselves in a deeply dysfunctional financial and personal relationship. Caleb Hammer, the host, conducts one of his most chaotic, emotionally intense audits to date. The episode dives far beyond money, exploring a quagmire of hidden debts, secrets, emotional baggage, and ongoing betrayals, all while Caleb tries (with mounting exasperation) to coach them toward greater transparency and accountability.

---

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Background & Income (02:36–06:30)

• Jade is 30, recently transitioned from a field merchandising job to a business manager role ($700/week net, ~$36,400/year).
• Bernie is 30, works as a Direct Support Professional (DSP) with people who have mental or physical disabilities (~$2,000/month, ~$24,000/year net).
• They live in a low cost-of-living area ("Southern Indiana is not an expensive place" – Caleb, 02:45).
• Household net income: ≈ $5,000/month.

---

2. Separate Finances & Communication Breakdown (06:30–13:00)

• Despite being married with a child (a 16-month-old boy), finances are not combined.
• Bernie only uses Cash App and has poor credit—joint banking applications were denied or would cost extra due to "second chance checking" accounts (06:33–08:10).
• Bernie kept significant financial problems hidden from Jade, citing "shame" for lack of transparency.
• Caleb repeatedly confronts Bernie:
  • "That is irresponsible... you breeded, you had a little bread situation, and she doesn’t even know what kind of money she’s attaching her child to..." (08:28)
• Jade was open about her own debts; Bernie was not.

---

3. Revelations about Gender and Relationship Dynamics (11:46–15:36)

• A candid discussion about Jade’s gender identity (non-binary, assigned female at birth–AFAB, legally marked as male due to past ID limitations).
• Pronouns clarified: Jade uses she/they, but is flexible (14:14).
• Humorous but pointed exchanges about roles:
  • "She feels exhausted for wearing the pants...70% of the time" — Caleb, pointing out Jade bears most practical burdens, including financial management.

---

4. Betrayals: AI Girlfriend, Lying & Emotional Distance

a. AI Girlfriend App (16:06–31:39)

• Jade discovers Bernie paid for an AI girlfriend app, triggering confrontation.
• Bernie insists it was for "D&D", but Caleb and Jade push for honesty.
• Eventually, Bernie admits it was due to seeking intimacy ("Did you want to talk to somebody, baby?" – Caleb, 19:53), blaming shame, curiosity, and sexual frustration.
• Bernie also downloaded yet another AI app after Jade's confrontation, compounding the betrayal.
• Bernie refuses to show Jade his phone or financial accounts, citing shame and avoidance.

b. Financial Infidelity & Irresponsibility (32:01–36:02)

• Jade recounts an incident where Bernie spent $20 on Nintendo games instead of critical expenses like gas or diapers.
• Patterns of hiding purchases, not sitting next to Jade during "budget talks" for fear she’ll see his phone.
• "You can’t even handle conversations with her" – Caleb (33:53)
• Bernie fails to follow through on agreements (e.g., attending therapy after Jade’s ultimatum).

c. Meltdown & Confrontation (36:35–44:04)

• Bernie becomes overwhelmed, leaves the room crying after being directly confronted.
• Caleb is unsympathetic, calling out lack of accountability:
  • "He’s a coward... Are you going to deal with this for the rest of your life?" (37:21–38:11)

---

5. Foundational Breach of Trust: Stolen Valor (56:15–61:05)

• Jade reveals first major trust break: Bernie lied about being in the military, using stories from a friend who had served as his own.
• Bernie admits to misleading their friend group for years—a significant breach of trust.
• Jade made him confess the truth in person.

6. Other Financial Issues & Enabling (64:04–85:52)

• Bernie relies on his mother to pay his car insurance at 30 ("Why do you keep finding things out still in marriage?" – Caleb, 79:56).
• Both have collections debts (Bernie: $80 overdraft, $662 Bank of Missouri, $367 AT&T, $1,998 old relationship-related bills; Jade: $761 Verizon, $2,164 Balinsky, student loans).
• Jade admits to poor follow-through on resolving her debts, echoing Bernie’s passivity.
• Spending on unnecessary items (sex toys, video games, adult stores) despite financial strain.
• Bernie continues to show a consistent lack of initiative or willingness to change; Jade is exasperated but hasn't left, despite repeated ultimatums ignored.

---

7. Practical Money Challenges (Finance Review)

• Repeated overdrafts, cash app loans.
• Inconsistent, dangerously low account balances, especially for a family.
• Poor structure: no emergency fund, retirement, or progress on debts.

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On hiding finances:
  "That is irresponsible, selfish. It is not fair... you breeded, you had a little bread situation!"
  — Caleb (08:28)

• On lack of change:
  "He also won’t change anything."
  — Caleb (38:28)

• On AI Girlfriend app excuse:
  "Bullshit. Not for D&D. Dude, you could claw the dick out of some D&D... AI girlfriend for D&D–good luck."
  — Caleb (19:53)

• On ultimatums without consequences:
  "That’s a red line in the sand that gets crossed every time with no consequences. That’s nothing."
  — Caleb (53:27)

• On enablement:
  "No, you enable. And you’re going to your entire life and your kid’s life because of it."
  — Caleb (38:11)

• On overall financial health:
  "Hammer financial score 0 out of 10. Get yours at calebhammer.com."
  — Caleb (92:50)

• Bernie, breaking down:
  "Maybe just when you were talking about me being, you know, a real piece of shit dad and partner, it dug out the shame... it sucks, but..."
  — Bernie (44:42)

---

Important Timestamps

| Timestamp | Topic | |------------|------------------------------------------------------------| | 02:36–04:36 | Introduction, how much they make and where they live | | 06:30–08:28 | Separate finances, first signs of secrecy | | 13:12–14:24 | Gender/pronoun/identity conversation | | 16:06–19:22 | AI girlfriend app confrontation | | 19:53–20:40 | True reason for AI girlfriend comes out | | 32:05–34:09 | Bernie hides purchases, refuses transparency | | 36:35–38:11 | Bernie storms out, Caleb calls out cowardice | | 44:42–45:15 | Bernie returns, expresses shame but little responsibility | | 56:18–63:44 | Stolen valor story explained and addressed | | 64:04–66:01 | Bernie’s mom pays insurance, continued enablement | | 69:22–71:06 | Reckless unnecessary spending, sex toys, and “bullshit” | | 79:55–80:41 | Bernie’s mother still paying his car insurance | | 86:41–91:07 | Budget breakdown and advice for household structure | | 92:50 | Final Hammer Financial Score: zero out of ten |

---

The Host's Tone

Caleb is direct, blunt, and occasionally profane, but remains focused on accountability and practical advice. He pushes hard on transparency, personal responsibility, and the need to actually follow through on commitments, especially when dependents are involved.

---

Closing & Call to Action

• Caleb stresses: combine finances, pursue couples therapy, and use available tools (like the Dollarwise app and budgeting frameworks).
• Both guests are offered educational resources and credit-building products.
• Final verdict: Financial audit score = 0/10 due to secrecy, poor follow-through, and ongoing enablement.
• The couple is left with a clear, if tough, roadmap: either step up, communicate, and change, or risk continued dysfunction—for themselves and their child.

---

For New Listeners

This episode is a cautionary tale: financial instability is often a symptom rather than the root problem—communication, honesty, and willingness to change are at the heart of true financial (and relational) health.

---

Interested in future episodes a week early? Subscribe on YouTube.

Want to be featured? Email the show at [e-mail]

---

(Adverts, intros/outros, and non-content have been omitted from this summary.)

Transcript

[Jade]

So good, so good, so good. Everything you want for summer is at Nordstrom Rack stores now and up to 60% off. Stock up and save on the brands you love like Vince, Sam, Edelman, Frame and Free People. Join the NordicLub to unlock exclusive discounts. Shop new arrivals first and more. Plus buy online and pick up at your favorite rack store for free. Great brands, great prices. That's why you rack Focus features in

[Caleb Hammer]

Blumhouse present Obsession When I have a crush on a guy no one knows, be careful.

[Bernie]

I wish Nikki loved me more than anyone in the entire world.

[Caleb Hammer]

Who you wish for obsession is 96 fresh on rotten tomatoes.

[Jade]

I love you so so so so much.

[Caleb Hammer]

It's blood soaked nightmare fuel.

[Bernie]

What kind of spills you put on her?

[Caleb Hammer]

You have been warned. Obsession rated R under 17 animated without parent only in theaters May 15 with special engagements in Dolby to watch episodes Financial Audit a week earlier check us out on YouTube.

[Jade]

I had found some information out that he had been More information paying for an app. It was an AI girlfriend app.

[Caleb Hammer]

What the actually happened? How can you like tell me what the happened? Okay, wow. Sent a dick emoji to Sarah who is an AI Sarah. Did you like AI Sarah who sent if you sit on this lap because you don't have another choice. I mean I'm being told that literally when you guys are chatting about any serious topic, he will not sit next to you out of fear for you.

[Jade]

Seeing his phone I pointed out and it's just the ha ha yeah. And then shrugs and laughs. I was talking to his parents about him sending emails to the VA from when he was in the military.

[Caleb Hammer]

What branch he wasn't in it. The stories that your friend sent you, you took about your service, she hands you her phone and you refuse to do the same. What are you hiding? Dollarwise is finally here, sending waves through the personal finance world. This is officially now the best budgeting app on the market and I'm giving you a special deal to download. Take a free three day trial to test it out and then you get the monthly plan at a 33% discount for the first three months or the annual plan at an insane discount. And most people sign up for the annual version because this saves a lot of money and you get my detailed 30 day meal plan signed by me mailed directly to you plus the digital version of my cookbook for each recip miss the opportunity of a lifetime. Download Dollar Wise and start your free trial. Go to Dollar Wise.com or click the link below.

[Jade]

Hi, I'm jade and I'm 30 years old.

[Bernie]

Hi, I'm Bernie. I'm also 30 years old. We live in Southern Indiana and this is financial audit.

[Caleb Hammer]

Wow. Thanks for coming down from the Midwest, y'. All. So what do you do for a living? Let's start with you, Jade. In Southern Indiana. A. It's not expensive. That is not an expensive place by any means.

[Jade]

Yeah, depending on like, the area.

[Caleb Hammer]

Nope, that is not an expensive place by any means. Compared to anywhere else in the country, practically.

[Jade]

But yeah, Louisville's very pricey in comparison, for sure.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, so it's definitely not expensive. So you should be doing okay if you're making halfway decent money. Let's see, what do you do?

[Jade]

I just resigned from my job as a. Yeah, I know. It was a field merchandising talent. So I traveled for my job. The hours were not making up for what we needed.

[Caleb Hammer]

Isn't that better than zero hours, which is what you do once you resign?

[Jade]

Yeah, no, I.

[Caleb Hammer]

Did you have another job lined up?

[Jade]

I do, yes.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, then why don't you tell me that that's what you do for a living instead of what you did? When someone asks me what I do for a living, I say YouTube. I don't say my sales job. Five years ago. Six years ago.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

So what do you do for a living, Jade?

[Jade]

Uh, I am going to be starting as a business manager for a local small business company.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. What is that? Payment? The small business. I always get a little nervous on that.

[Jade]

What do you make salary? So it's 700 weekly.

[Caleb Hammer]

That's good. Okay. Is that your net or is that your gross? 700 weekly.

[Jade]

I'm going to say safely net.

[Caleb Hammer]

That's the safe answer, is net.

[Jade]

I would rather say net than gross.

[Caleb Hammer]

You would, would I not? That's the safe answer. I don't think that would be the safe answer, but okay. Times 52. So you're making $36,400 a year. Okay. But in that cheaper area, it's where it can come closer to working. That is still a difficult income. But we're a dual income household. We're married. Right?

[Bernie]

Yeah, that's true.

[Jade]

With a child.

[Caleb Hammer]

Very good. Oh, sure. How old's the kid?

[Jade]

They are 16 months.

[Caleb Hammer]

How long have we. What's the gender?

[Jade]

It's a boy.

[Bernie]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Little boy. Okay. Okay. Okay. Just want to make sure. You said there. I wanted to make. See if it was transit. 16 months already. Okay, Very good. Yeah. I mean, kids are expensive, but again, cheaper. Cost of living area. How long have we been married?

[Jade]

We got married In October. Yeah, this past October.

[Caleb Hammer]

Whoa. So after kiddo.

[Bernie]

Yes.

[Jade]

Yeah, we gotten engaged 23.

[Bernie]

Back in 23.

[Caleb Hammer]

And had kid and then got married afterwards. Interesting. A little out of order, but that's okay. What do you do, Bernie?

[Bernie]

I work as a healthcare professional. For people. Yes, you do mental or physical disabilities.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, I was going to say that's why you guys. How you guys make money, but actually maybe not. Okay, well, what's your position?

[Bernie]

They call it a dsp. It's just I go in home for the client where they don't have a facility.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, what do you make?

[Bernie]

Probably around 2000amonth.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, that's, that's. That's unfortunately what I was. Yeah, it's 16 hourly thinking 24,000 hours a year net. Okay. But you combine these, then all of a sudden we're doing okay for your area is the thing. Because again, that is not an expensive place to live. There can be an expensive, like city. Like, I mean, Bloomington can be a bit more expensive. Right? That's what it's called. University of Indiana. Like, it can be a bit more expensive, but even still, compared to the majority of the United states, certainly not. So $3,033 from you on a monthly basis, plus the two. So I mean, you guys are making five. Five thousand. Net. Okay. I mean, with a kid, you know, but good. And we're all combined. Everything's good.

[Jade]

Nope.

[Bernie]

No, we still.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay.

[Bernie]

Separate finances.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, then how the. We have a kid, we're married. What are we doing? Why?

[Bernie]

I've always been kind of iffy about finances.

[Caleb Hammer]

Iffy about finances. I don't know what that has to do with you actually joining with your wife, you know, partner for life situation with a kid.

[Bernie]

We've talked about it. I mean, I'm open to it. It's just when we went to join like me sign on for their account and they're like, well, we can't really do that.

[Jade]

We went to the bank that I have my current checking at and her account.

[Bernie]

Yes.

[Jade]

And I wanted to add him as a joint user. And they immediately went, oh, we're going to create a new account. They only allowed us to. They pretty much only offered a second chance checking where we would have to pay every month.

[Caleb Hammer]

What do you mean pay every month? If you don't have a balance.

[Jade]

No, because it was poor credit and for a second account.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. Go to Chase, go to anywhere. I don't know.

[Jade]

I don't even think we have a Chase in our town.

[Caleb Hammer]

I would be. Be incredibly surprised.

[Jade]

Might be one But I don't remember.

[Caleb Hammer]

But even still, you can open up with a different bank. There's different banks everywhere.

[Jade]

Absolutely.

[Caleb Hammer]

I mean I think that would be a step up. Dude only uses Cash app.

[Jade]

Correct.

[Bernie]

I mean it's.

[Caleb Hammer]

I think it's time to upgrade. Yeah, I mean time is great as well. Don't get me wrong. It's certainly better than Cash App, but it's also good to just have just a random like larger institution just sitting there. Just even. Just sitting there.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Bernie]

Yeah.

[Jade]

Okay. Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, I don't know what that means.

[Jade]

So when we went and they offered us a second chance checking I was like, that wasn't the intent that we had. We don't want to have to pay to have a bank account.

[Caleb Hammer]

I know. So you go to a different bank. That is what adults would do. Well, so congratulations. Keep coming back to the second checking account. Like okay, you already did that. We already know. Very good. Go to a different bank.

[Jade]

I didn't know about the collections that he had had that he never mentioned up until that point. And I had mentioned this why you got married.

[Caleb Hammer]

You got married. Why aren't you telling her about your finances, asshole. That is irresponsible to selfish. It is not fair especially to fucking breed. You breeded you had a little bread situation. We're doing that and she doesn't even know what kind of money she's attaching her child to. Come on, why. Why not inform her before you guys go down this big life adventure together?

[Bernie]

Mostly because I. Shame. Mostly.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh off. What a bullshit dumb cope ass excuse. You're someone else's life, potentially another with a kid. Shame. You should be ashamed. You hid that from your spouse, your partner before making a child in marriage. You should be ashamed. That's what's shameful. What? I'm confused. I mean do we just hide literally everything until after we're married? Is that how marriage works?

[Bernie]

No, not a. Not a good marriage.

[Caleb Hammer]

I. Oh, so we're starting off with a bad marriage.

[Bernie]

I wouldn't say that other than.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, you just defined a good marriage is not hiding things. And yet you were hiding that going into marriage. And now she's struggling to get accounts connected and whatnot with whatever limited resources you have in your community because of your finances. Do we own a house?

[Jade]

No.

[Bernie]

No.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. Do we want to own a house at some point?

[Jade]

Yes.

[Caleb Hammer]

How's that going to happen with man with completely money of what you didn't know about that you were attaching yourself to the mortgage is only going to be in her Name. That's fair. That's great. That's wonderful.

[Bernie]

No, I would like us both to have a say on a mortgage.

[Caleb Hammer]

A say on the mortgage?

[Bernie]

Well, both be on it. I wouldn't want them just to be on one person's shoulders in case something happens.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, but you lied about your finances getting with her. Yeah. Okay, so what was your reaction when you heard this?

[Jade]

Confused. Concerned. I mean, I also have collections. Yes. I'm not gonna lie and say that.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, were you hiding them from him?

[Jade]

No.

[Caleb Hammer]

So he knew about you knew about them going into the marriage.

[Jade]

Yeah, I admit.

[Caleb Hammer]

But why hide yours? The shame is such a excuse. Come on. Why were you actually hiding her shame? You should be shamed now.

[Bernie]

Mostly because when I was growing up, I always got yelled at.

[Jade]

When you need to build up your team to handle the growing chaos at work, use Indeed sponsored jobs. It gives your job post the boost it needs to be seen and helps reach people with the right skills, certifications and more. Spend less time searching and more time actually interviewing candidates who. Check all your boxes. Listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit@ Indeed.com podcast. That's Indeed.com podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Need a hiring hero. This is a job for Indeed Sponsored

[Bernie]

jobs for everything money wise. So I didn't want to start another fight when instead of a fight I could have had a regular conversation.

[Caleb Hammer]

What about fight? She literally tries to sit down with you every two weeks. Every two weeks. She said in the pre interview with Lindsay to talk about finances. What do you mean have a normal conversation? She tries to do on a daily basis. Sorry. Every other week, twice a month. So there would be the opportune time, would it not?

[Bernie]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, shit. I apologize. You are male. You're gay. You're gay.

[Jade]

Legally, you're male. Yeah, legally.

[Bernie]

We're legally gay.

[Caleb Hammer]

What do you mean legally you switched to male?

[Jade]

The gender. Yeah. So I had a legal guy name and gender marker change. This is before they had released because

[Caleb Hammer]

X wasn't an option.

[Jade]

X wasn't an option.

[Caleb Hammer]

What do I call you? Do I call you X?

[Jade]

No, no, no.

[Caleb Hammer]

That would talk to X over there.

[Jade]

It would be like a non binary thing. That's kind of the insinuation of X.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, educate me. Cause I'm just not educated.

[Jade]

Absolutely. So there's a difference between biological sex and then.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, certainly because I mean you're a chick. Biologically.

[Jade]

Sure. If I am female. So I'm AFAB assigned female at birth and then.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, no, no. I mean you were Born with a woman. Biologically a woman. Because there's a difference. You said biologically in gender and.

[Jade]

Yes, so there's.

[Caleb Hammer]

So biologically, I mean, you're a woman biolog.

[Jade]

Biologically, I'm a female. That is the more appropriate.

[Caleb Hammer]

I mean, when you start saying female, all of a sudden, people call you an incel.

[Jade]

Well, I mean, when you're speaking about gender, it's man and woman, but when you're speaking about sex, it's female and male.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, so female scientifically.

[Jade]

Afab.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yep, afab.

[Jade]

Afab. Assigned female at birth. I am female, I am a woman, or I am male or I am a man. Or it's the. I was assigned female at birth, but I now identify as.

[Caleb Hammer]

Wait, I thought. I thought you said female was sex. But then gender, the thing that is what you're changing and saying is in flux is the other thing, which would be woman. So it wouldn't be assigned female. What? It. It would be assigned woman or assigned woman. But officially female scientifically, Right?

[Jade]

No.

[Caleb Hammer]

Using your logic. Right.

[Jade]

No.

[Caleb Hammer]

Right.

[Jade]

I legally changed it from the letter F female to an M, which was male sex. The sex on the driver.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, so you can change sex.

[Jade]

Yeah, you can change the sex.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, I thought we were saying we couldn't change sex, but we can change gender.

[Jade]

Technically, both of you undergo surgeries.

[Bernie]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

You were assigned female. You are now male legally.

[Jade]

But I identify as non binary.

[Caleb Hammer]

So why did you go male then?

[Jade]

There was no X option at the time.

[Caleb Hammer]

It was I go female to male. If, like, you're neither, why do the change.

[Jade]

I mean, change is inevitable in everyone as a human. It's our basic right to be able to.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, so how do. Cause I've been calling you her and she.

[Jade]

Yeah, she and they are fine.

[Caleb Hammer]

How do I call.

[Jade]

Yeah, she and they are fine.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, so we've gone back more feminine. So where's she again?

[Jade]

Not inherently, no.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, but I can call you she.

[Jade]

Absolutely.

[Caleb Hammer]

But I will call you whatever.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

And you want to be called they she.

[Jade]

That cool. So we're good with she. That's fine. Yeah. Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, good. Wanted to establish that. Very good.

[Bernie]

So you're not gay other than on paper, no.

[Jade]

There we go. Good answer.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, actually, on paper. Right. Because aren't you male? Yeah, on paper.

[Bernie]

On paper, yes.

[Caleb Hammer]

On paper you're gay.

[Jade]

Legally gay.

[Bernie]

Yeah. Legally gay. Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay.

[Bernie]

Okay.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. Okay. Just wanted to make sure I understood.

[Jade]

She gets her little rainbow pin for your shirt. We should have people know that you're a little gay on the inside.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, very good. So. But yet she is the mask of the household anyway because she says that she feels exhausted for wearing the pants in the relationship 70% of the time. So you've taken the at least OG classic effeminate role of not doing anything in the. Taking care of the house in a financial situation. I'm navigating. That's okay. I'm trying to make a point.

[Jade]

In the 1950s, like, yeah, it's a classic. Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

So, okay, she's standing up and taking care of everything and she's upset that she has to take care of everything. You're not stepping the and being a man.

[Bernie]

Yeah, I mean, I've definitely dropped the reins for sure. I wouldn't say they did everything or in the house, but the majority, I'd say yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why. Why aren't you stepping up in this relationship? She's over here being upset that she can't even have a conversation with you. She tries every two weeks. So how did this ever. How does this every two weeks go? You go over there, you go to the dude.

[Jade]

We gotten married in October, a couple months before. I had found some information out that he had been.

[Caleb Hammer]

More information.

[Jade]

Paying for an app. It was an AI Girlfriend app,

[Caleb Hammer]

bro.

[Jade]

Yeah. He had linked his email to my phone.

[Caleb Hammer]

Did you get more feminism?

[Jade]

It was for D and D. In his words.

[Caleb Hammer]

In his words. Yeah. No, you don't get AI Girlfriend for D and D. You. You're not gonna bullshit me. What. What are you paying AI Girlfriend for?

[Bernie]

No, I have. Don't do that now.

[Caleb Hammer]

Stop the cap. Yeah. You just got married and she found out it was happening. So yeah, just a few months ago. What the was going on?

[Jade]

So he linked his email to my phone for like manga or whatever so I could read my downtime while taking care of our newborn.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay.

[Jade]

Yeah, it. So that was, you know, the early bit of 25. And then this email pops up around our birthday and I'm like, what the hell is this our birthday? Or something like two weeks ago.

[Caleb Hammer]

Or two weeks ago.

[Jade]

Okay.

[Caleb Hammer]

Because we got r. I thought we were introducing a new pronoun. Okay.

[Jade]

No. So I seen an email that was like, oh, don't leave your AI girlfriend hanging kind of shit. And I didn't want to say anything through text. I wanted to have a face to face conversation. So he gets home and I'm.

[Caleb Hammer]

He's not good at those.

[Jade]

So I was trying to mitigate the emotional state that I was in and the logical and kind of come in between and come from a. Like a sound Ground that I wasn't feeling crazy because I did. I felt insane that it was the. I'm not.

[Caleb Hammer]

He has an AI Girlfriend. Yes. I think you're allowed to feel insane in that situation.

[Jade]

So when he got home, you know, I put our son down and came downstairs, started cleaning some dishes so I could get dinner started. Trip pretty much. And checking in like, hey, are you okay? And I was like, not really. I'm. I'm not doing okay. I saw this and I need to talk to him.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why'd you wait for him to talk to you? That's a bit weird.

[Jade]

No, it's just like a mental check in.

[Caleb Hammer]

I don't like the, like the, the. The crankiness, waiting for the. The guy to approach a conversation.

[Jade]

No, no. So like it's a two story townhouse, so he.

[Caleb Hammer]

You didn't see him all day?

[Jade]

No, he was at work.

[Caleb Hammer]

He arrived upstairs.

[Jade]

No, he like came downstairs. Like when he came in to the house.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay.

[Jade]

I was putting our.

[Caleb Hammer]

Understand. Okay, I'm following. Keep going.

[Jade]

You know, I came downstairs and we do the mental check in. Like, hey, how was your day? How are you doing? And I gonna assume I just call that talking usually.

[Caleb Hammer]

But.

[Jade]

Yeah, yeah, but like it's a good check in with your spouse to be like, you seem really upset just by like the, the energy that you're given. And I was kind of, you know, I had some hot coals under my feet, you know, and I was like, I'm not having a. I'm not having a good day. And I saw this and I need to talk to you about it. And I was trying to stay level headed and I got really emotional. I was like, what am I not bringing to the table that you need to seek out an AI girlfriend?

[Caleb Hammer]

Ah, geez. Okay, listen, you're. Yeah, Girlfriend. Why can't you just. Conversation. Why can't you just say, yo, what's this? What's going on here, guy?

[Jade]

Well, yeah, it was pretty much like,

[Caleb Hammer]

why am I not enough?

[Jade]

Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm emotionally insecure. Sometimes therapy helps. I'm learning that.

[Caleb Hammer]

But women asterisks. Am I right?

[Jade]

Yeah, the titty mobile. I get it. But it's just. I tried to have a conversation. I got really. Because it was the, oh, it's not you. I love you. And, and I appreciated that, I really did. But it was. I needed to know why you had sought it out. And you're like, it's for dnd. And I felt like it was just a really pop out answer.

[Caleb Hammer]

It was being Paid for, right?

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay then. Bullshit. Not for dnd. Dude, you could claw the dick out of some D and D. You could GPT the dick out of some D and D. Rock the dick out of some D and D. Yeah. Gemini. The dick out of some dmd Perplexity. The dick out of some DND AI Girlfriend for D and D. Good luck. Come on. You're feeling lonely. You want to talk to me, baby?

[Bernie]

No. We were going through a rough time.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, there it is. I don't think you're playing DND for the rough time. I think you're going through a rough time, actually. Say the real answer now. For the first time in her life. Yes. Go ahead. Say you were having a tough time.

[Bernie]

Because I was making a lot of poor decisions and I just. Anytime I do something, I'd end up hurting Jade in some way. And instead of talking about it like an adult, I took the stupid way out of it. Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, what you just said said. Did he just say anything? That was nothing.

[Jade]

That was information than I knew that

[Caleb Hammer]

was considered more information. He literally just said nothing. Buddy. What the actually happened? How can you like tell me what the happened? Do I need to download a AI Bernie to get an answer?

[Bernie]

I. I don't know answer for that one.

[Caleb Hammer]

What do you mean you downloaded a app? Why? What were you using it for? Did you want to hear? Wow, you're totally right. Here's an unfiltered goon response.

[Bernie]

No, I was.

[Caleb Hammer]

Wow, you're so hot Daddy.

[Bernie]

No, I was just

[Caleb Hammer]

really just girlfriend make me come. Make no mistakes.

[Bernie]

But yeah, I don't.

[Caleb Hammer]

But yeah. No, you didn't say anything yet to say something. Please. You're on a podcast.

[Bernie]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why did you download this app?

[Bernie]

Because I was stupid and what shouldn't have been done in the first place.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, no. Why did you download it? Not because I was stupid. What was the action?

[Bernie]

To see what it was about.

[Caleb Hammer]

There you go. There's an answer. Okay, you were curious to figure out what it was about. Now what made you so curious to explore Girlfriend of the AI form instead of Girlfriend Girlfriend. Why were you curious to learn about this? You have to pay for it.

[Jade]

I wanna branch out and just say it might be because we maybe were having every other month. If that I'm 100% sure. In the first nine years.

[Caleb Hammer]

I don't know if you can.

[Jade]

There are choice for that.

[Caleb Hammer]

You can try.

[Bernie]

Could.

[Jade]

That port's a little small to be honest though.

[Caleb Hammer]

Uh huh. Grippy.

[Bernie]

Yeah. We had to buy a new phone

[Caleb Hammer]

after that okay, so we're diddling once every other month.

[Jade]

If that.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, I mean, just. I mean, kid hectic. Things are crazy. Yeah, I get it. Stress. I mean, I can see it on your neck right now. You're stressed.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

You're blushing.

[Jade]

Irish. Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Does that happen to every Irish person?

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, so. Okay, how about that? That's an actual answer. Why can't you say that you were primed? Were you deprived? You weren't coming. Your balls were loading up.

[Bernie]

Yeah. Okay, so.

[Jade]

Wow.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yes, I understand why this is the more information than you've ever gotten because I don't think you can actually answer questions. Drowning in student loans with massive interest rates. I see it on the show all the time. People get a loan to advance their careers only to be left with sky high interest rates and crazy minimums that leave their paycheck gutted. Maybe you've already gone to a normal lender to try to refinance your private student loans and they looked at your less than perfect credit score and hung up the phone. Maybe part of you even thought, yeah, that tracks. I guess I'm stuck. Stop it. You don't deserve to be buried in a high interest loan for the rest of your life because you hit a rough patch. The banks aren't rejecting you because you're a lost cause. They're rejecting you because you're not profitable enough for them at a manageable rate. That's where why Refi comes in. Why Refi works specifically with borrowers who can't get refinancing through traditional lenders. It's their whole thing. They refinance private student loans so you're only paying interest between 0.1% and 5.99%. And they legally cannot charge you more than that. They'll even customize your payments to get you out of debt at a pace that works for you. And if you need a co borrower from your loan, they've got a program for that too. Plus their team is in Phoenix, Arizona. So when you call them, you talk to a real person. It only takes three minutes to check your rates and it doesn't impact your credit score. If you've been told no a million times, try yrefi. Head to yrefi.com hammer that is yrefy.com hammer or call 888 Y refi 78, that is 888 Y refi 78. Break free from the high interest trap and get your finances under control once and for all. You suck with money. So you download a budgeting app. You Start with the classic one, ynab. But everyone just delet because it's way too complicated to use. So you go to everydollar. That's Dave Ramsey, the personal finance guy, right? Well, they're gonna force you to use it his way. That's not very personal. Finances. Rocket Money. They got a lot of commercials, but they're owned by Rocket Mortgage. Guess what they want to sell you in the end. Then there's the new guy on the block, Monarch. Hundreds of millions of dollars of private equity raising so far. But private equity doesn't have the best track record when it comes to private data. That's why I like Dollarwise. Built by these people just like you for people just like you. No private equity, no gimmicks. Just the best budgeting app there is. Download it now, start the free trial Dollarwise.com, link in the description below.

[Jade]

So it sounds like the original reason for my insecurities were true. That you did. You. You were seeking more intimacy. And that was just hard to say.

[Caleb Hammer]

And to be very clear, until this very exact moment, his Reasoning was still DND.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. Why? Listen, hey, baby was born 16 months ago. You guys have had 12 times since. Reasonable to say. I am struggling with that. That is not an unreasonable thing. Doesn't mean pressuring the partner. But that is not an unreasonable thing to be having issues with. Why hold the lie of it was for D and D until right now? You know how I know it was a lie? Because she confronted you, you immediately deleted it and then you downloaded emoji the next day and other ready to soundtrack

[Jade]

your summer with Red Bull Summer All Day Play. You choose a playlist that fits your summer vibe the best. Are you a festival fanatic, a deep end dj, a road dog or a trail mixer? Just add a song to your chosen playlist and put your summer on track. Red Bull Summer all day play. Red Bull gives you wings. Visit RedBull.com BrightSummerAhead to learn more. See you this summer.

[Caleb Hammer]

A app AI relationship app that you paid for the next day after she called you out. Did you know that?

[Jade]

I didn't know there was a second AI app. I know about the Inochi one because I saw the subscription and then the add on to his Play Store account because again the email was connected the phone and I wanted to understand when the app was downloaded.

[Caleb Hammer]

A new generation begins.

[Jade]

Evolved,

[Caleb Hammer]

not just replaced. Incredible. Always on get the latest features and functionality. Well, that's what you want from your girlfriend. Latest features and functionality. Interactive video stories Endless choices. Make decisions for her.

[Jade]

Like, I can understand that. My. The medications that I was on at the time, trying to guinea pig that shit.

[Caleb Hammer]

I get it. Yeah, I get it. And you can struggle with that. Give him permission to go fucking someone else or something. That's fine.

[Bernie]

I wouldn't want to do that.

[Jade]

Yeah, we've had that talk. And I was previously in a poly relationship and did not.

[Caleb Hammer]

We don't have to be poly.

[Jade]

Right? Even open.

[Caleb Hammer]

Be open. Poly involves emotions. That's where it can get. Yeah, but still, if you ain't. Dude, does got a. You got to kind of figure out your situation.

[Jade]

And how often are people safely, like having sex with others without getting confirmed tests and showing the results?

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, make sure you get them tested and show results.

[Jade]

And when I offered an ultimatum before we got married and said what was it? No lying. That we don't.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, he's lying in every way whatsoever. He was lying until this exact moment that he was using it for DD

[Jade]

and go to therapy. And most of it still has not happened, if not continuously.

[Caleb Hammer]

You haven't done anything?

[Bernie]

No.

[Caleb Hammer]

You made a child with her. You're not even following the therapy. You're not even following the. Okay, wow. Zweven sent a dick emoji to Sarah, who is an AI Sarah. Did you like AI Sarah who said if you sit on this lap because you don't have another choice. A little depressing.

[Jade]

What?

[Caleb Hammer]

I mean, yeah, I guess she doesn't have a choice. She's AI. Can you video chat with these people?

[Bernie]

I don't know. I never did.

[Jade]

I'm sorry, what did you just say?

[Caleb Hammer]

I'm just exploring emoji.

[Jade]

Okay. I thought you were saying there was like messages between Bernie and someone else.

[Caleb Hammer]

I'm not in Bernie's account. I don't know what's happening, but honestly, wouldn't be surprised. Hey, well, yeah, I mean, honestly, buddy. I mean, the pipe's being backed up. That is an actual. That can be an issue. How are you dealing with that? I mean, why won't you let her see inside your account? That is a concern.

[Bernie]

I thought I was still. They still had access to my Google.

[Jade]

No, I told you the day that we had talked about you deleting the apps that I deleted the email as well. And then I saw that you had paid for that add on or whatever at the enochi and I asked you what the hell it was and you're like, oh, it's some just like pet feeding game or something like that. And I was like hearing that it Said what was that? Like soft Ichi anime? Pretty much.

[Caleb Hammer]

Huh?

[Jade]

Ichi anime?

[Caleb Hammer]

I don't know. I don't know what this is.

[Jade]

Like panty shots. Not full. Like not shots.

[Caleb Hammer]

You come to panties.

[Jade]

No, what I'm saying is hentai full nudity, straight rock, and then there's. Which is Ichi anime or Ecchi anime, depending on. Yeah, it's just a thing, bro.

[Caleb Hammer]

I don't know. I'm not like you guys. I just. I watch two people. I. I keep it simple. Okay.

[Jade]

Wait, you have a chair.

[Caleb Hammer]

I meant. But I. That is fine.

[Jade]

I was curious, man.

[Caleb Hammer]

Very good.

[Bernie]

I mean, there's something for everybody, I guess.

[Jade]

Yeah, yeah. Everybody's got their flavor.

[Caleb Hammer]

I watch people have sex in or I go. It's as easy as that.

[Jade]

I don't know.

[Caleb Hammer]

What? What, you're. You're against him watching?

[Jade]

No, absolutely not.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, then what?

[Jade]

We literally have like DVDs that we could. I'm just weird. Well, I used to work in an adult store, so something just online.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, dude. Okay, what was my question that nobody answered? I think it was. So what are you doing? You're backed up. What's the solution here, other than lying? Cuz that can't be the solution. Listen, I think open is something that is halfway decent that I believe when surveyed, if I'm not mistaken, 99% of people said they would actually be open to. They're just not willing to discuss with their partner. But the thing is, and if she's not down for it, then you can. And that would be cheating then, so we're not talking about that. Okay, she's down for porn, but you're kind of meeting in the middle. You're talking to AI and you won't let her in your account to see if you downloaded it and logged back in. She could see. Why would you do that for her?

[Bernie]

I mean, I would pull up now. I don't have any on my phone.

[Caleb Hammer]

I said if you downloaded it and logged back in, she could see. Why not do that for her? I mean, you said you were using it for D and D. I don't

[Jade]

even get to look at his bank accounts?

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, okay, so he hides stuff and AI stuff from you. Okay, now he hides finances as well.

[Jade]

Correct.

[Caleb Hammer]

What does he hide there? Or at least of what you even think?

[Jade]

I think one of the last times that we had done a budget talk, I had saw on his phone that he had paid 20 bucks for a game on Nintendo and I did overreact. I'm gonna be honest.

[Caleb Hammer]

I did I mean, that alone within, like just a closed ecosystem, whatever, is not the end of the world. But I understand if it is just endlessly hiding purchases from each other when we're trying to make the household better. Yeah, that would be. You overreacted what I blew up.

[Jade]

I was like, why the are we spending $20 Nintendo when we can't even, oh, I don't know, put gas in the car or get our kid diapers?

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, come on. If we can't afford diapers, why are you buying video games, asshole. AI, Girlfriends and video games. What the are we doing?

[Bernie]

Obviously messing my life up.

[Caleb Hammer]

That's not an answer, guy. That's a bullshit answer. Can you answer a question? Give me an actual reason you purchased Nintendo instead of putting diapers on the kid? Gas in the car. Why?

[Bernie]

I hadn't done anything for myself recently. I figured it'd be okay to spend $20 on a Nintendo game and play it for a little bit.

[Caleb Hammer]

And that's more important than the kid?

[Bernie]

I never said that. Nothing's more important than the kid.

[Caleb Hammer]

You did say it through your actions. If we're struggling to get diapers, which I don't know why we would in Southern Indiana with 5,000 hours a month, why we're struggling to get diapers, by the way, but even still. Well, I guess you wouldn't have much insight. I mean, I'm being told that literally when you guys are chatting about any serious topic, he will not sit next to you out of fear for you seeing his phone. Yes, buddy. I mean, I couldn't stay with someone like that. I mean, that. That is egregious.

[Jade]

I point it out and it's just the. Ha ha, yeah. And then shrugs and laughs.

[Caleb Hammer]

So you can't even handle the conversations with her either.

[Jade]

This is why honesty and going to therapy regularly maybe.

[Caleb Hammer]

Depends what kind of therapy you might get. Enablement therapy.

[Jade]

Well, he went to two sessions and then never went back.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, so that was another ultimatum she gave you. Hey, what's the point of giving ultimatums if you don't follow through with them?

[Jade]

Right. And so after the beginning of the year, I had a. I circled back around. I was like, hey, how are we doing? How's the therapy? He said, well, I haven't been back. Cause you know, it was a religious facility that was offering it at like a more discounted price for low income families. Understandable. We appreciate it. Because he didn't have his insurance at the time. So now that he's finally been there over a year, he gets the insurance and I go to his doctor's appointment with him because, you know, it was an off day and we just went together because it's easier.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, Just one time.

[Jade]

Yeah, yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

We touch him out in general. You have to go to his doctor's appointment?

[Jade]

No, we had done some shopping at Costco and then.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, I got you.

[Jade]

Yeah. Went to his doctor's appointment together. So he had said that he was gonna make sure that he got an email or a call with information. It was also on, like the. Oh, this was your visit information packet that they give after the visit with the number and the email and all that stuff to reach out to the resource. Still. Still. This was mid January, beginning of February. I have been following up pretty regularly. When's your therapy appointment? When you got that scheduled? Oh, it's. I got a. Nothing. I have not had a.

[Caleb Hammer]

Do you have anything to say for yourself?

[Bernie]

I need a second.

[Caleb Hammer]

This is pathetic, buddy. Going to run away from this conversation like you run away from every conversation you have with her. You haven't said anything. I feel horrible for her right now. I don't know if you're objectively a bad guy, but I think you might be bad in relationships. Listen, she hands you her phone and you refuse to do the same. What are you hiding?

[Bernie]

I'm just. Whenever I do something for my own purchases, I. I know I'm bad with money and I. Shame.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, shut the. What? That's the biggest bullshit I've ever heard in my life. What the fuck response is that? Shame. Shame. What? What are you even. How do you feel hearing this?

[Jade]

I want to be understanding, but it's also.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, that's enablement.

[Jade]

It is disappointing. Like, I get it. It sucks. Money is hard. I'm not good with money. I have had to learn this all on my own.

[Caleb Hammer]

Are you guys a couple or not? Are you guys married or not? I don't care if something's hard. You have to work together.

[Jade]

I want him to change. I cannot force him to change.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, but you can leave. And it might be better for your kid that you do. Two seconds. Why is he struggling? Nothing has happened. Nothing has happened yet. Bro has said five words. Why is he struggling?

[Jade]

I want to answer for him, but I know I can't.

[Caleb Hammer]

You can't? Why?

[Jade]

He's his own person.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, for off. Come on. Do you know him or not?

[Jade]

I do and I.

[Caleb Hammer]

It's all this weird boundary shit that's not even real. Shut the up. Yeah. No. What is going on? Has he never faced the consequences of his life? For anything. Any responsibility. Any. Growing the upper. Because the moment he's confronted one time, he breaks the down. Can't handle it. As he actively traveled across the country for a show that he's seen, a show that he's a fan of, a show that he got onboarded for, and he can't even handle it. 36 minutes in something that he's been expecting for at least. What have you had a couple weeks build up coming on here? A week maybe.

[Jade]

Yeah. The end of February.

[Caleb Hammer]

End of February. To come on financial audit. He's had all this. 36 minutes into the conversation, he said, like, 10 words, and he can't handle a little bit of pushback that he knew was coming. He's a coward. Are you going to deal with this for the rest of your life?

[Jade]

No.

[Caleb Hammer]

I think you might, because it sounds like I try to be understanding. No, you enable. And you're going to your entire life and your kid's life because of it. Not saying he's objectively a bad person. I cannot assign that to him. But it might not be good for the relationship.

[Jade]

Good people do bad things a lot. I can agree.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah. But he also won't change anything.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Anything.

[Jade]

And that's why I gave him, you know, months before the wedding. I'm like, I. Either you do these things to make the change or the marriage is off. I. I cannot financially. And as a parent, put.

[Caleb Hammer]

She's here. The marriage is done. Now what? You. Okay. Okay, fine. When's the timeline? When's the. If nothing changes, I'm out. Okay. We're being told he's crying. According to Brandon. Which, I mean. Okay, like, I'm sure. Huh.

[Jade]

That's rare. Whoa.

[Caleb Hammer]

What the. So someone called him on a. For the first time in his life. Has no one ever been around to call him on a.

[Jade]

Everybody's too scared. Too.

[Caleb Hammer]

What? Too scared to. Why? He's a. What's he gonna do?

[Jade]

I know that he in. He seems intimidating to a lot of people, and I know that. Right.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, does he. He has, like, a gay tattoo. I don't know.

[Jade]

What. I'm not intimidated by him, but. Right. And, like, why do people find him intimidating? It. So you know how, like, some dudes do the puff their chest? Yeah, That's. I see it a lot. And I know that's him putting the wall up. I can see it. I can feel it. It's the. The emotional barrier, like the bubble. I don't know.

[Caleb Hammer]

My goodness. You guys just surround yourself with. I'm a fat. I can probably barely sprint across the room. But I am the least intimidated by him than anyone I've ever met. Plus, it would help that our security guard would just shoot him in the face if he tried something, but.

[Jade]

Lovely.

[Caleb Hammer]

But I mean, he won it anyway. So no one's ever stood up and called him on his shit in his entire life. And the moment it happens, he breaks down in tears. Even though, again, I am very confused. He knows what show he's on.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

You guys have applied to be on the show that you both watch.

[Jade]

Yeah, he's the one who got me into your show.

[Caleb Hammer]

What's the confusion here? How is he surprised? How is he breaking down right now? I don't want to make someone cry. I'm also. I'm not going to bullshit someone. If he's hiding the AI girlfriend. And he lied until the exact moment of this show where he finally admitted why he had it. If he's hiding his finances, he won't let you look at his phone. What else am I supposed to say? Am I supposed to tell him no, that's okay because everyone else in his life has told him that's okay? Did he expect anything different from me? He had to have expected I would call him on that. Right.

[Jade]

I mean, it was kind of like a set expectation that like, there is clarity, there needs to be.

[Caleb Hammer]

What is the issue here?

[Jade]

I think sometimes it can catch someone off guard. Absolutely.

[Caleb Hammer]

He thinks he might be freaking out because he knows we haven't even scratched the surface of this conversation. Okay, we'll take a break. We'll get him back on. Okay, so we're in the middle of financial order right now. As you guys see. This is the head of financial audit. We're currently in a break situation because the dude that is the fan of the show that got his wife on the show, I called him on his shit. Barely. I barely even touched the surface. And he walked out of the room with Brandon and started bawling. I don't know what to do. What did he do?

[Bernie]

Brandon?

[Caleb Hammer]

He hit a pose in there.

[Bernie]

Brandon, he's gonna sit on the couch and he hit one of these and then you could see tears.

[Caleb Hammer]

Hopefully he's not having like a panic attack, but I guess like no one's ever called him up of in his life. And I barely did. I'm sticking up for her. I guess I'm sticking up for her cuz I feel bad for her. I do not know how to navigate this conversation with a guy that is likely the problem, the relationship for the sake of Her. If I cannot call him on his for him to change it because no one else has in his life. It'll be interesting. So we'll see.

[Jade]

Do y' all need a couple more minutes? Okay. All right, we'll be back. This has never happened before.

[Caleb Hammer]

Hyperventilating?

[Jade]

No. Like, I legitimately don't think he's ever been called on his because she does not call him on his because all of these things happen. All of you guys don't even know yet. What? There's two more things that we haven't talked about. The AI girlfriend was, like, the least of it.

[Caleb Hammer]

My goodness. And I don't even know. I don't know. It's.

[Jade]

He's never been called on this, and that's why he's freaking out, in my opinion. All right, I think we're going to try one more time. Brandon, you're going to come with me.

[Caleb Hammer]

Let's do it. How we doing? How we feeling?

[Bernie]

Better than three minutes ago.

[Jade]

Okay, Good. Improvement is improvement.

[Bernie]

Yeah. So I was just having a hard time because when he was calling things out and. Yeah, most of what I did feel was shame, but it's getting cold. And that stupid reason for feeling something. My body's just like. All right, we're gonna go ahead and shut down for a second.

[Caleb Hammer]

Right, Right.

[Jade]

The valid response.

[Bernie]

Yes.

[Jade]

It's cleaning up. You know, it's hard to let it flow, work through the emotions.

[Bernie]

Yeah.

[Jade]

I'm trying to be as understanding as I can. Cause I can't feel your feelings for you, you know?

[Bernie]

Yeah.

[Jade]

You were talking about feeling the shame and you kind of stuck on that. You even said the reason why.

[Bernie]

Yeah.

[Jade]

We have, like, another hour.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah.

[Jade]

And this really is. When I talk to you on the phone, you want things to change. And this is a conversation that feels like you two haven't been able to have, and we need to have it.

[Bernie]

Yeah.

[Jade]

So I would love for you to come back. I would love to have this conversation and for us to be able to. To get both of you the help and support that you need. You ready, Chris? You give it a go. You know how to scotch this dragon troll from the dungeon? Thought you ought to know.

[Bernie]

Harry Potter.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah. Okay, we're back. How we feeling? What happened?

[Jade]

I think we had a good heart

[Caleb Hammer]

to heart, but what happened?

[Jade]

Maybe you should talk.

[Bernie]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah.

[Bernie]

Maybe just when you were talking about me being, you know, a real piece of.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah.

[Bernie]

Dad and partner. Did it dug out the shame that I do feel because I know I could and should be doing better and having it thrown in my face is, you know, a. It sucks, but it's also

[Caleb Hammer]

responsive. If you know you should be doing better, why aren't you? Because that's all talk.

[Bernie]

Because it's hard taking the step to change yourself when you've done something a certain way for a long time and breaking through.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, the AI girlfriend isn't something you've been doing for a long time.

[Bernie]

No, I don't do that anymore. Well, once we had that conversation about when she got the email a few months ago.

[Caleb Hammer]

But yeah. What's to prevent us from doing that again in the future when. Why won't you show her like the messages in there? Why won't you show her the phone? I understand. Like a financial behavior might take a second, but literally just showing her, like you can just give her your phone. If taking this step is hard, isn't that the only step is just giving her the phone? But what. What other step is there in that process?

[Bernie]

No, that would be a step forward for sure.

[Caleb Hammer]

Would be. Are you going to.

[Bernie]

Yeah, I mean, I would have to go in and download them again.

[Caleb Hammer]

Your phone in general.

[Bernie]

Oh, yeah. No, yeah, they can have my phone.

[Jade]

I think a slice of truth that might help this conversation is. He was in the shower. This was a very long time ago. You were in the shower one time and I was worried that you were talking to someone. And I did just peek through your messages.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay.

[Jade]

And there was nothing there. I was just worried.

[Caleb Hammer]

What led you to be worried?

[Jade]

I think it was like a coworker you were talking to or your.

[Caleb Hammer]

I'm also confused about this. Like, you know, I haven't used it since you downloaded an other app the day after the confrontation of the AI. So that just doesn't line up as well. That's kind of stupid, I'll be honest. But what's not is actually getting a checking account that gives you free money. Free money. We like free money. You can get up to $200 in bonus cash right now when you sign up for the checking account that I use, Chime Also, it makes your savings grow at a 3.5 APY interest rate. Guys. You can watch Financial Audit and get free money at the same time. Who would have thought? That's incredible. Check it out. Link in the description below. Starbucks is bull and a waste of money. And you already know that by making your coffee at home and invest in the rest. So now you need to do that with your energy drink as well. Make gamer subs at home for just 40 cents a serving. Honestly, it literally Tastes better. And we proved this accidentally via a blind taste test in our Hammer elite show Fat and fatter. The number one ranked energy drink is gamer.

[Bernie]

Literally. The cherry flavor is insane.

[Caleb Hammer]

Listen, you can also get free samples to see if you like it or 10% off your order at gamersupps gg or click that link in the description below. Type in code Caleb.

[Bernie]

Cuz there were I think two that popped up. Cuz there was the emoshi one and then a different one that popped up like the next day you're like, we just had this conversation.

[Jade]

Kayak gets my flight, hotel and rental car right.

[Caleb Hammer]

So I can tune out travel advice. That's just plain wrong, bro. Sky coin.

[Bernie]

Way better than points never fly during

[Jade]

a Scorpio full moon. Just tell the manager you'll sue. Instant room upgrade.

[Caleb Hammer]

Stop taking bad travel advice. Start comparing hundreds of sites with Kayak

[Jade]

and get your trip right. Kayak got that right.

[Caleb Hammer]

You.

[Jade]

No, no. So it was there was a two. There was AI girlfriend, it was the sultry little purple mask and then there was the an classic D and D. Yeah. And then you said okay, I'll delete it. And then the next day it said that you had paid for an add on and that was to the inochi. And I was like what the did we just talk about? And you're like, you're right. And then you.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, she wasn't right the day before.

[Jade]

No, he said I was right.

[Bernie]

They were still right the day before.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

And what is this thing about envelopes I'm being told about envelopes? Envelopes? What envelopes?

[Jade]

So what is an envelope? When I my previous job before the field merchandising talent, I was a retail store manager for an adult store. It was a full time job and I was the breadwinner at that point. I had been working there for a while. We had finally gotten our apartment, our one bedroom.

[Bernie]

Was it the North Park?

[Jade]

It was the north park apartment, yeah. Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay.

[Jade]

And so we found out we were pregnant a month later and it was late spring. I was like, I think it would be a good idea if, you know, we start pulling out cash from our checks every paycheck to put that into the envelope system that way.

[Caleb Hammer]

Because the envelope system you don't. Okay, well you either run that via envelope or you don't. I don't know.

[Jade]

What. Well, it was just like a little booklet has like the plastic little.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, there was like you were just trying to save.

[Jade]

Yeah, I was literally just trying to save.

[Caleb Hammer]

You're not just trying to put Cash just had to save.

[Jade]

I got adhd. So if I see the number in the account, I'm like, oh, I have money.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, I got you.

[Jade]

I got you. I won't. I won't remember.

[Caleb Hammer]

So you have every mental disability.

[Jade]

Cool. So I was. I had switched up my direct deposit to put 200 to savings. And then from there, every check, paycheck, I would pull it out and then divvy off. So I, I think I had saved up about $1,600 start. Yeah. And that was over like a couple months. It was after the ba. Or it was before the baby shower. I had asked you to pay the phone bill and I, you know, I hadn't like, kept track of like, checking. Oh, recounting. Oh, this is what. This is envelope.

[Caleb Hammer]

What happened?

[Jade]

Anyways, I noticed that the envelope was missing a lot of money. And not just $100 here, $100 there. It was the fact I had been tallying, oh, this date, putting this much in for this and so on. And I had told him that, like, this is how I wanted to do it. So it's a checks and balances. There was no outtake that was written down, and there was a lot of money missing.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, what are you doing? Especially while she just is pregnant headed towards the birth. What did you do?

[Bernie]

It would usually, whenever we had.

[Caleb Hammer]

Usually multiple times.

[Bernie]

When we had bills, I would go ahead and if I didn't have the money, I would use what we had, our envelope system.

[Caleb Hammer]

She doesn't know your financial situation. You won't tell her? You won't let her look at anything? How can I even say?

[Jade]

Should this happen more than once, though?

[Bernie]

No, not more than once.

[Caleb Hammer]

But you said every time or something like that. You indicated more than one because whenever, I mean, whenever, whatever's not once.

[Bernie]

When we had bills, I would. I would plan to not dead refill it. And then whenever checks came around, we'd have to pay bills again and I wouldn't have the extra money to put back into the envelopes.

[Jade]

Was this around the time you were getting behind on the car payments?

[Caleb Hammer]

Why won't you just let her look at your accounts? Just let her look in the post show. We're gonna re download those apps and we're gonna look at them. We're gonna see what happened in there. Because I think we need to actually go through that. But we do also need to get into the money now or else this is never gonna end. Oh, my gosh. Well, and it makes no sense because even when that happened, when she confronted You. You admitted that you only took 90 out, but that it's not possible because it was only a hundred dollar bills or $20 bills in there. So you couldn't have even taken 90. You were lying about the amount.

[Jade]

Yeah. It wasn't just like 100 or 200.

[Caleb Hammer]

Anything won't do. The therapy won't do anything. How long do you think she's gonna stay? If you do not change the things of which she has laid out ultimatums for, how long do you think she's gonna stay?

[Bernie]

I'd be lucky if it was another month or so.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah. And do you even deserve that? I don't know.

[Bernie]

No.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, better question. Zero percent is just staying forever. You're not even questioning leaving 100% as you're walking out this building. Separating him. Where are you? Those are the two extremes. We're in the middle.

[Jade]

5%, 10%.

[Caleb Hammer]

What? After all that? Just that you put down ultimatums, which are 5%. That's never gonna be ultimatums. Then those aren't ultimatums.

[Jade]

It's.

[Caleb Hammer]

What? That's a red line in the sand that gets crossed every time with no consequences. That's nothing. That's nothing. Five percent's nothing. Why would he ever change? Why would he? You're not even. You're barely even considering it. It's barely even a thought. It's barely even an inkling.

[Jade]

I grew up with separated parents. Like early on, two years old. I never had a dual house, like parent household.

[Caleb Hammer]

Is this working? Is this dual parent household working? Is it gonna be better for this

[Jade]

thing if it stays the same? Absolutely not.

[Caleb Hammer]

But you're at 5% when it's only stayed the same for years. That makes no sense. Enablement. Enablement. You're right. He probably will never change. Wow. Okay, so let's get into the finances, guys. And then on gender term.

[Jade]

Dude. Bros.

[Caleb Hammer]

Uh huh. What do we rate the household financial score at this point? Zero being the worst, ten being the best.

[Bernie]

Like a two.

[Jade]

Yeah. Two. Yeah, I know. I took the quiz myself and I was at a five.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, but you guys are combined. Yeah. If you want to take that assessment, take it for free@caleb hammer.com just takes a few minutes. See where you stand in the world of money. Where you're doing poorly, where you're doing great. It is awesome. And you can improve your life with it. You can also improve your life with the dollar wise budgeting app. Tens of thousands of monthly active users for a reason. Thousands signing up daily. It is awesome. It is incredible. You can see the Free trial if you like it. And if you don't, you can cancel. And if you do, you can keep going and you can change your life like many other people do. Most people take the annual version because it saves a lot of money. And you get my 30 day meal plan, this guy right here, signed by me, mailed directly to you. Hand me that Sharpie please, if you may. Thank you sir, I appreciate it. So all I do is I come down here and I'm like woo, signature, let's go. And then you get it. So there you go. Wow. Now you can't have any excuses for not being able to meal prep, not being able to plan your meals. It is based on a 300 per person grocery budget per month. It is great. It is snacks. It is everything. Okay, so I am going into these finances but I mean I just, I have to know just the baseline of this conversation where it stands. We've talked a lot about a lot of betrayals so far. Is that the end of the betrayals? I want to at least make sure before I keep going, I want to

[Jade]

say no, but that might be to say no. I mean I don't want to say that. Yeah, that's the end of everything. Uh huh. 100%. You know, I'm not trails though the

[Caleb Hammer]

betrayals because there's lots of betrayals.

[Jade]

I don't know. What about you? How are you feeling?

[Bernie]

No, I, I have a hard time talking about finances, but I don't. There's nothing in there that I should have been hiding.

[Jade]

Okay, so like I understand that, but are, are you trying to say that you've said everything that is needed to be said?

[Bernie]

I think so, yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

When was trust first broken in this relationship?

[Jade]

Do you want to talk about it? I couldn't find that in your Apple music or my.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, what is it?

[Bernie]

Yeah, if you want we can talk about it.

[Caleb Hammer]

We're definitely going to. We're here. You guys didn't put that on your no no list, so. Oh, we're talking about it. Well what are we talking about? I don't know. Please don't be cheating.

[Bernie]

No, no, I've never cheated on them.

[Caleb Hammer]

What? Okay, you seem to be the one that can put words out of your mouth, so why don't you try to do it?

[Jade]

I found out when we were looking into getting an apartment. We had talked about financing a home as a first time home buyer.

[Caleb Hammer]

What? When? That quick.

[Jade]

It was like March two years ago. No, no, it was March last year.

[Caleb Hammer]

March last year was the first trust break that's crazy. Okay. That's been a lot since then. What happened?

[Jade]

I was talking to his parents about him sending emails to the VA about getting his paperwork and all that stuff from when he was in the military.

[Caleb Hammer]

What branch?

[Jade]

He wasn't in it.

[Bernie]

I had a friend of mine who.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, you weren't in it, but you were emailing the va. No. Huh?

[Bernie]

No, I didn't. I. It was all just a story I had with one of my friends who was in the Army. We talked about joining in together, and he was older, and he had. I got a letter from. Saying he died in active combat. And what he.

[Caleb Hammer]

How does this break her trust?

[Bernie]

Well, I'm getting there. And so I ended up using. He would. Because he would send me letters about his updating through basic, and then he'd get deployed, and he would let me know how he's doing.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay.

[Bernie]

And I ended up taking those stories and be like, yeah, this is what we did while we were enlisted together.

[Caleb Hammer]

What?

[Jade]

Nina never said it was both of you. You just talked about you, though.

[Caleb Hammer]

What? Well, no, no. You took his stories. Whoa, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. The stories that your friends sent you, you took about your service.

[Bernie]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Stone Valor right here. Stone Valor. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. And did what with it?

[Bernie]

I didn't.

[Caleb Hammer]

That's like stolen valor. Wait, and did what with it? What with the va?

[Bernie]

I didn't do anything with this.

[Caleb Hammer]

What were you trying to do with the va? Why are we in contact with the va? Where does the VA come into this?

[Jade]

He was lying about that.

[Caleb Hammer]

About what?

[Bernie]

I'd never contacted the VA about anything. I was just saying I was doing it, but I never actually did.

[Caleb Hammer]

Do what?

[Jade]

Covering up.

[Caleb Hammer]

Covering up what?

[Jade]

Continuing the lie.

[Caleb Hammer]

The lie to who? From what?

[Jade]

About being in the military.

[Caleb Hammer]

So you're telling everyone in the world, including you. What?

[Bernie]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. So when you started this relationship, dude was like, I'm a vet.

[Jade]

Not out the gate. No, it was settled.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, but it brought up. But it happened. Yeah, but you were telling everyone that you were a veteran.

[Jade]

Not everyone.

[Bernie]

Not everyone.

[Caleb Hammer]

A lot of people. That you were a vet.

[Bernie]

Our friend group.

[Caleb Hammer]

You're what?

[Jade]

Our friend group. Yeah. Yeah.

[Bernie]

But no, I wasn't going on the. Ran down the street to him like, yeah, I'm in the service.

[Caleb Hammer]

I mean, you gave. You told the people that any normal person would.

[Bernie]

What? It wasn't. It wasn't a good moment for me.

[Caleb Hammer]

This friend. Friend. Even exists? I don't. Do I even believe that? I don't believe any thing this guy's saying. It doesn't even matter if the friend exists though. It's like you're using his stories or just Reddit stories. You found you were telling people. What was the point? What are you doing? What are you getting out of this? This is crazy. And people think I'm like anti vet because I talk about the disability thing on the show all the time. No, I am a huge advocate and I want to fix the system to make it even better for people. They are the best of the best among us. Protecting this country, serving

[Jade]

my brother specifically was not a good representative.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, you were pieces of shit in every system. I'm saying that in general, people that are putting their life on the line for the country, you know, I respect them as a cult collective. Yeah, there's pieces of shit everywhere. Okay, maybe that's going to happen.

[Jade]

That hires them, but.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, well, the government.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. I mean, that just meant nothing. That's just such a broad statement.

[Jade]

But I mean, I feel bad for the people that do get in there with good intentions and then are brainwashed into believing that the government is the right way and the only way. And if you don't agree, you leave.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, yes, you have to follow the military rules.

[Jade]

No, like, absolutely.

[Caleb Hammer]

Regulations.

[Jade]

There is a guideline. Absolutely. But it's okay.

[Caleb Hammer]

I honestly don't give a Whatever. I'm just trying to say I respect the out of them as a collective because they have put their life on the line for this country. They're serving. It's called service. Yeah, and you're mimicking being one. For what purpose? For what purpose was this? Possibly. I've never heard of this. I mean, I guess we've all heard of stolen valor, but I've never actually seen someone do it. I've never like, even heard a story. It's just like known. Right. Oh, okay. I understand. So you're a democratic socialist. And you're an anarchist. I don't know why an anarchist would pretend to be a. A vet. I still don't understand why you pretended to be a vet.

[Bernie]

It was just a stupid decision on my part to try and connect with.

[Caleb Hammer]

I want this to be your answer for everything. I want to know the why. Your why can't always be. It was a stupid decision. Why did you actively choose to do that? You will never get better if you cannot figure out a reason why you did something.

[Bernie]

Because I wanted to relate more to him. And when he told me about the stories, he was passionate about it and I was Like, I wish I had a passion like that about something at least. And I. That's what I wanted to do when I was younger. And then I've had a few injuries where I wasn't able to do it anymore. I had a motorcycle accident when I was 18 and a mess my left. My left arm and shoulder up. So I couldn't do anything if I wanted to.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, listen, I'm gonna bleep the word, so don't be afraid to say the word. Okay? Okay, I'm gonna count from three. Two, one. Then I'm gonna ask you to do something. You must answer it immediately.

[Bernie]

Okay?

[Caleb Hammer]

3, 2, 1. What's the name of your friend? Okay, I was relatively quick. It was bleeped. What do you know of this guy? Oh, sake. No, I was about.

[Jade]

Is the one that you told me about, but they're two friends. Like, I just.

[Caleb Hammer]

This is like, oh, my God, why I almost believed you for a second. This conversation is ridiculous. This is one of the most ridiculous conversations I've had about. It's an hour and three minutes and I haven't looked at a document. What the is happening? And did you at least go to your guys friends and tell them that you were a liar?

[Jade]

I made that a very mandatory thing. He had said, oh, I'll just send a text message. And I said, no, if you can lie to someone to their face, you can tell them the truth to their face.

[Bernie]

So I told all my friend groups that there was a lie because that was one of the ultimatums they gave. I was like, all right, that's what I'll do. I'll tell them the truth.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, Cash app. What's going on with this? No, this must be a checking account.

[Bernie]

No, it's my. I do my direct deposits and stuff through Cash App.

[Caleb Hammer]

That's interesting. Okay, what are you getting at Walmart for 6 bucks? Highly doubt that's groceries.

[Jade]

I mean, sometimes it's the occasional, oh, hey, I need eggs or we're out of milk. Can you grab some for the sun? Yaddy.

[Caleb Hammer]

If there's a Walmart in your town, I bet there's a Chase or a Wells Fargo or a. Anything, any one of them.

[Jade]

I think there's a sister bank to Wells Fargo, but there might be a one.

[Bernie]

I mean, I haven't seen one around, but that doesn't mean.

[Caleb Hammer]

Look, there isn't a chase, but there has to be some kind of major branch of some kind, if not a chase.

[Jade]

Trying to think.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, what's the name of your town? We're Bleeping it.

[Jade]

Indiana.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, first of all, why. Why live in such a Not great place?

[Jade]

I mean, in the county next to it.

[Caleb Hammer]

Great. I don't live where I'm born because I went to a place with opportunity

[Jade]

and moving costs a lot of money.

[Caleb Hammer]

And we obviously don't have me about 200. And I sold it everything, like. And then I slept on an air mattress for six months. Now, it's a little harder with a kid, don't get me wrong. But to just suggest that you can't do it without a ton of money is also just illogical. People move all the time.

[Jade]

And we have one car.

[Caleb Hammer]

I had one. Yes, I know. It's a different situation. It's. But it still might cost a couple thousand dollars. But if you even go into debt for a couple thousand hours to go to a place with opportunity where you make tens of thousands more, that is often times a worthy investment.

[Jade]

I mean, there's definitely an end goal for us, but it's not in the picture right now.

[Caleb Hammer]

But if you're not doing anything, it's just. That's not a goal. That's okay. First Bank, I think that one's pretty big, if I'm not mistaken.

[Bernie]

What?

[Caleb Hammer]

Fidelity. You got Fidelity.

[Jade]

That's a green one, right?

[Bernie]

I don't know. I'm not aware.

[Caleb Hammer]

That's big. So you'd probably be fine there at National Bank. Yeah, well, Federal First Savings, like, you're fine. There are major branches. There's a ton of major branches there. And you got some credit unions as well, but you're okay?

[Jade]

Yeah, I've got an account with one of the local credit unions.

[Caleb Hammer]

There you go.

[Jade]

So.

[Caleb Hammer]

What a stupid excuse we were using. Remedy center cannabis. 55 bucks.

[Bernie]

Yeah, we've bought.

[Caleb Hammer]

How much you consuming?

[Bernie]

We don't do it all the time.

[Jade]

We.

[Bernie]

It's a purchase that will probably last us probably over a year because we do super small portions.

[Caleb Hammer]

You will not go to Cannabis for a full year from that purchase.

[Bernie]

Yeah, we cut them into. Because all the servings are about that big. And we cut it into 16 pieces.

[Jade]

And they're really strong.

[Bernie]

They're really strong. It's like 500 milligrams of gummy.

[Jade]

Okay.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, Gummy. And then obviously right afterwards, went to Donut Bakery. Makes sense. Bath and Body Works, Mega Replay. I don't know what that is.

[Jade]

Ah, it's a. It's where you can, like, sell old games or console systems. Buying, not selling that. I had a really bad day that day, and he had brought me a Gift which is extremely rare.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, not that rare. It was $12.

[Jade]

But you went there with our son, right?

[Bernie]

Yeah.

[Jade]

You got some stuff and you went like. I think you got like a candle or something at Bath and Body.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. Gorilla.

[Jade]

Yeah. Cirilla. That is an adult store. Yes.

[Bernie]

Yeah, we like to, you know, spice things up in the bedroom every now and then.

[Caleb Hammer]

I mean, I once every other month.

[Jade]

Right. But I worked in the business for.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, as a big every now and then. Am I right, Guy? AI. Girlfriend. Golden Buddha.

[Jade]

Food.

[Bernie]

Yeah, food.

[Caleb Hammer]

I assumed. I didn't think that was a toy of Buddha's asshole.

[Bernie]

I'd be impressed.

[Jade]

Yeah, I would assume that would be. Maybe some fat food.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. Donut bake and yeah, maybe groceries from Walmart. I don't know. You want to take us some bullshit from Casey's? I know you didn't get $3.63 of gas.

[Bernie]

No, I got a drink from Casey's before I went to work.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, stop, listen. No longer. No longer. My friend. Let me make sure it's the energy drink version. There you go. Woo. Let's see. Oh, that cannabis has you. What kind of reflexes were that? You say people are intimidated by him. That was the worst I've ever seen. Dude let it fully hit his nose and run down his face before he even moved.

[Jade]

I probably would have too. I'll be honest. I get bad reflexes. I jump. Scared though.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, yeah, I'm sure you're medicated to death. Listen. Oh, come on. We all.

[Jade]

Oh, come on. A little bit. Everybody keeps me cool. I'm fine.

[Caleb Hammer]

Something piercing. Therapy four times a week. I know you're medicated four times a week. Self diagnosis. I know you're desperately medicated. Either way, no longer you are using the gamer subs. It is 40 cents a serving after my discount code. Caleb link in the description below. Cambridge Subs GG you're using that. If you want to figure out other flavors, you can get free samples at that using my code and figure out what you like. And you're making your energy drinks at home now instead of stopping in and getting some when you can clearly not afford it. Okay.

[Jade]

Okay.

[Caleb Hammer]

It's delicious. It legitimately is. Every guest has enjoyed the for them, Hammer Elite is the best YouTube membership on the platform and I just upgraded it three exclusive dedicated shows every single day, Monday through Friday. Join with the link in the pin comment or description below. This is the best membership you'll ever join. That's a promise. Guys, just real quick, don't forget to take your Hammer financial [e-mail] see where you stand, where you got to do better, where you're doing shit. It just takes a few minutes and it is free. Figure out where you stand in the world of money. Caleb hammer.com send some money out. Bullshit. Nintendo again.

[Jade]

That was probably one of the Nintendo's that we talked about.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, I mean this just happened like a month ago. Air or vacuum? Okay. Yeah, I mean that's air. That's okay. Walmart, Nintendo again. How frequently? What are we doing? Bunch of bullshit. Okay. Air again. Okay. How many times are we getting an air.

[Bernie]

When I had my flat tub. Well, I have our car before I got its engine tore up. I hadn't replaced the one.

[Jade]

Yeah. The car has been in the shop since the beginning of the month. Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

That's brutal. Center Money out. Bmc. Cpe. Bmc. It's.

[Jade]

That is our energy.

[Bernie]

Yeah, that's our energy.

[Jade]

Yes.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, fair enough.

[Jade]

Center point Energy.

[Caleb Hammer]

Knob Hill Tavern. High Score Saloon. Insomnia cookies. If you have an insomnia cookies, you have a major bank.

[Jade]

That was like the first date night. Yeah, we. That was the first date night in what like six, nine months? Something like that?

[Bernie]

Something like that.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. That wasn't the point I was making.

[Jade]

Okay.

[Caleb Hammer]

Bullshit. Bullshit. Nintendo again. 20 bucks that time. Nintendo stacking up liquor. Wonderful. Wendy's Honeymoon. Wayne Bachelor Wendy's. McDonald's getting some. A lot of maybe gas. That one actually looks like gas. Air again. I understand why. Maybe groceries. Definitely. I think gas.

[Jade]

Does this say really? That's a grocery store.

[Caleb Hammer]

What do you want?

[Jade]

Really? Fruits. That's a grocery store.

[Caleb Hammer]

I know, but he. When he's getting like $3, but he's getting a little drink.

[Bernie]

Yeah, it's interesting.

[Caleb Hammer]

There we go.

[Jade]

Oh, okay.

[Caleb Hammer]

We judge it by price typically. See this might be groceries. 16 bucks there.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Bullshit. Sonic Culver's Donut Bakery. Bullshit. And sex toys again. Double sex toys.

[Jade]

Is it like $720?

[Caleb Hammer]

We're ramping up.

[Jade]

Yeah. We recently talked about him just going to get something and then using it and then not saying anything and not initiating. And that's half of the problem.

[Caleb Hammer]

What are we getting?

[Jade]

It's like a pill.

[Bernie]

Yeah, pills to help with simulation. Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

You're the struggle. So you want to be I you getting a AI girlfriend. I thought it was because she wasn't given.

[Jade]

Oh yeah, no, I definitely. It wasn't on. It wasn't on the front burner. You know, I'm taking care of the kid. I'm staying home. I'm Also working. I'm also trying to take care of.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, but he's the one that can't get excited.

[Jade]

I mean.

[Caleb Hammer]

I mean, I get it. When I'm, like, overly stressed or tired, I just don't get excited.

[Jade]

And like, that kind of like, counter, like, like adds into that. That.

[Bernie]

Because I. I know they're doing the best they can with our house and.

[Caleb Hammer]

And probably blue that name, but. Yeah, I assume that's the kid, right? Yeah.

[Jade]

Sorry.

[Caleb Hammer]

Trading at Schwab is now powered by Ameritrade, bringing you an expanding library of education with even more ways to sharpen your trading skills. Access new online courses, insightful webcasts, articles, engaging videos, and more, all curated just for traders. Plus, guided learning paths with content designed to fit your unique interests. No sifting to find exactly what you need so you can spend your time learning to trade brilliantly. Learn [e-mail] trading oh, it's okay. 255. This is your checking account. Up from five, Harry.

[Jade]

Yeah, that's me.

[Bernie]

That's okay.

[Caleb Hammer]

It started at five. That's scary.

[Jade]

What?

[Caleb Hammer]

Groceries.

[Jade]

Oh, is that the same honeymoon?

[Caleb Hammer]

Bullshit.

[Jade]

Yep.

[Caleb Hammer]

Cash app. Cash app. Cash app. Bullshit. Bullshit. Spotify. Maybe food. Maybe groceries. Cash App Out. Cash app. Cash app. Cash App.

[Jade]

Yeah, Groceries.

[Caleb Hammer]

Groceries. I mean, it's just dangerously low balances. It's very scary.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

I mean, luckily, no overdrafts. I'm surprised.

[Jade]

With the previous job that I had, the pay was constantly infrequent. One week I could get $100. The next paycheck would maybe be $900.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, but if you guys combine, it would be less of an issue.

[Jade]

It would, but, I mean, when we were paying for the wedding, it was me paying for everything. I paid for the rental. I paid for most of the dress. I had a friend help, and then his grandparents paid for the catering.

[Caleb Hammer]

Wait, why didn't you step up and pay anything?

[Jade]

He was paying the bills.

[Bernie]

I was paying the bills.

[Caleb Hammer]

All the bills?

[Bernie]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

No issues. No late. No problem.

[Bernie]

Okay.

[Caleb Hammer]

Would you even know there were a

[Jade]

few that were late? There was one time we were like a day late on the energy.

[Bernie]

I was never like, super, like a week or two weeks late paying the bill.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why do we split it like that, where you buy everything, including the wedding bands?

[Jade]

Because my income was super infrequent. I couldn't rely on my check.

[Caleb Hammer]

But if you guys were combined, you'd be able to actually.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Listen, obviously I want you guys to move some more better opportunities, but I'll get both of you Course career certifications. Yeah, a lot of people in the audience have converted those into six figure jobs.

[Jade]

Jobs.

[Caleb Hammer]

I'd like you guys to as well, just be strategic about which one you're getting. Look at the job market. Get you guys that. Also, buddy, listen, we got to build your credit. I'll get you the mine. Used to be called Fizz, but the mine card, debit card that builds credit can only spend what's in your checking account. Clearly you have issues with that. Another cash app. Whose cash App is this? 0 bucks. And this must be yours. You're transferring to it, right?

[Jade]

Yes.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, well, you're getting on here. Bullshit. Goodwill. I mean, that's probably okay, but people can get there.

[Jade]

Sonic, it was probably closed or something.

[Caleb Hammer]

McDonald's. Come on, buddy. Literally $80 in that collection account. Why couldn't you just pay $80?

[Bernie]

I. When they called me about the overdraft, the score for like 15 points.

[Caleb Hammer]

80 bucks.

[Bernie]

I didn't. I didn't, Adam, because.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, you didn't know.

[Bernie]

Several. I didn't remember until they call them because several more down here.

[Caleb Hammer]

Credit karma. Any. Any credit. It's everywhere. It takes five seconds. What? Any kind of personal responsibility like advocating for yourself doing anything.

[Bernie]

I have a hard time getting stuck in the rhythm where I'm just worried about day to day instead of.

[Caleb Hammer]

Instead of downloading an app for three minutes.

[Jade]

Sense being comfortable.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, I think it's the sense of comfort. I don't think you like a little bit of un. Being uncomfortable in life, but you don't get that choice with a child and wife.

[Bernie]

That's true. I definitely need. Well, I'm glad you know, you need to.

[Caleb Hammer]

Now. If only you could do something ever once. Sick man. You can download an AI girlfriend and sign up for that subscription, but not download and set up a credit.

[Jade]

Karma.

[Bernie]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

So 80 bucks in that one's. What a joke. I don't even. It's so stupid, man. So stupid. Okay. Yeah. I don't know what Spring Oak Capital is. Let's see. Original creditors named bank of Missouri. So you probably had a credit card with them or some kind of loan, but you owe 662 to them. How long has this been in collections?

[Bernie]

Oh, it's from when I was in a past relationship, so I honestly. Huh?

[Caleb Hammer]

When was that? Oh, God, three years, seven months ago. So it's still gonna be on your collections for a very long time. And if we want to get a house, if we want to get additional apartment together, whatever it is, it's gonna. You was that one of the payday you. Oh, is it?

[Bernie]

I don't think so.

[Caleb Hammer]

AT&T. AT&T. Why'd you let AT&T go to collections? $367.

[Bernie]

I think that's when I was trying to get out of my phone plan and I was paid off my phone and I was trying to get out of their contract and I had paid my last month and I still. I said I owed something so I didn't. I didn't know.

[Caleb Hammer]

You just let it go so that it would you and your entire future life. This has been seven months, man. Seven months. Says it's been in collections. At least I'm sure it was. I'm sure it was. And not paid much longer before that. But it was at least sold to collections.

[Jade]

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Is that when he switched from individual phone plans to cricket and you said that you were on your parents plan?

[Caleb Hammer]

Trust me, I'd rap. Much rather do helium than cricket.

[Jade]

You said you were on your parents plan and that they were paying for your phone bill.

[Caleb Hammer]

So that's another lie. Did we just learn another lie?

[Bernie]

I don't remember saying that I was on my parents phone plan.

[Jade]

You may not have remembered now, but I do recall you saying, yes, I am on my parents at&t phone bill and I can just transfer it. And then you had a problem trying to get into the account and get the number transferred over. So you got a new number.

[Caleb Hammer]

Guys, therapy is great. Have we considered couples therapy?

[Jade]

I have mentioned it.

[Caleb Hammer]

You've mentioned it. Very good. And you won't because I never said

[Bernie]

we teach a therapist to go to couples cancer.

[Caleb Hammer]

Just haven't picked the therapist.

[Jade]

I have told him that there are therapists at the office that I go to that do couples.

[Caleb Hammer]

So what is the issue, Guy?

[Bernie]

No, if we, if we can set up a couple's therapist appointment, I don't have an issue with that. We just haven't done it yet.

[Caleb Hammer]

So if she doesn't do it, it will not happen.

[Bernie]

I need to get better. About taking.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, he needs to get better. Another solid 10 out of 10 answer. Guys, I'm glad you know you need to. Why the don't ya?

[Jade]

Yeah, that's something that we talked about at the beginning of the year. New Year's resolutions, whatever you want to call it. I had asked him how he wanted to improve this year and stick it in more. He said he wanted to go to the gym. Respectfully, I get it. However, my resolutions were a little bit more concrete, more financially based.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, you're also not like, horribly unhealthy, if at all. You don't look bad.

[Bernie]

I was like, I mean, I feel like it, but.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, yeah, maybe. I'm sure. I'm sure your cardio is bad and stuff like that. You know, maybe it's like, you know, but like, for. You're not a bad looking dude. So, like, gym's good. Go on more walks. It's nice up there half the year. Go. Go on walks.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay.

[Jade]

We've definitely been doing that lately. Now that our kids like walking, we're going on.

[Caleb Hammer]

Good. Go. Going a couple miles a day. Yeah, like 15. 15amile pace. Okay, very good. So 15 minutes. So good. Do that. No gym necessary. Gym if you want, but that just shouldn't be our. I don't want to say it's not important, but there are things that are getting. The marriage is getting destroyed and we need to prioritize that. Okay.

[Bernie]

Yeah, I need to put stuff like that on the back burner.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, you just found out that his mom's paying his car insurance at 30?

[Jade]

Quite recently, yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

What the. Why do you keep finding out things still in our marriage?

[Jade]

The car was in the shop and I actually addressed this with her directly. And I was kind of pretty much saying, why are you enabling him? He's an adult and she's you too.

[Caleb Hammer]

Right.

[Jade]

But he's his mommy and should be letting go.

[Caleb Hammer]

You're acting like his mommy too, though.

[Jade]

And I don't want to.

[Caleb Hammer]

Sorry. Keep going.

[Jade]

No, I get it, but I don't want to.

[Caleb Hammer]

What you do with. No, stop. And you're 5% leaving. Yeah. Good luck. Sorry. Continue, Continue. I'm interrupting.

[Jade]

I point out his flaws and that. I say that he needs a change and that it's for the better, but the drive just falls off. It's like you go to sleep, you wake up, and then the drive that want to change goes away.

[Caleb Hammer]

Bro. Here's a direct quote from your application to come on the show. Yes, I'm far from perfect and aware that I get upset and overreact at times when I feel like I'm being manipulated with crumbs of the truth caked with lies when it comes to our finances.

[Jade]

Yeah, I do. It's. It's the fact that I just find out that his mom, his parents are

[Caleb Hammer]

manipulating you, and he's like being like, oh, I'm close your ears. No, no, no, no. So don't. Like, I can't be that bad. Oh, no. I'm just a delicate little flower. Oh, hell no. You're just allowing all this manipulation and him like, I'm gonna get better. I'm gonna get better. Oh, yeah, I know I need to get better. I'm gonna do all the nothing. You're just allowing it. Red line in the sand. Push back a thousand miles.

[Jade]

I'm a pushover. Yeah, sure.

[Bernie]

I mean, I don't. You don't deserve that. I definitely need to do.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, you have another one in questions. $1,332 and a thousand one hundred or 1998. Very good. Okay. Student loans. We got some student loans.

[Jade]

Hi.

[Caleb Hammer]

Hold on. Do you not have debt or is this the student loans?

[Jade]

No, the student debt is my debt. I.

[Caleb Hammer]

That's it and everything.

[Jade]

No, no, I've got. I've got more collections.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, you have collections too. Wait, okay. Is the 1998U the WHO 1998.

[Jade]

What is that from?

[Caleb Hammer]

I don't know. It doesn't say.

[Bernie]

That's from when I was in my past relationship with my partner. We had a lot of issues and they weren't wanting to help pay with bills.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, it was her who was the problem.

[Jade]

The payday.

[Caleb Hammer]

I'm sure you had no issues.

[Bernie]

No. And then I.

[Caleb Hammer]

Kind of convenient on this show how everyone is not the problem in their past relationships.

[Bernie]

I caught a signed up for a secret shopper job and I've been trying to get that one.

[Jade]

What.

[Bernie]

What's the word?

[Caleb Hammer]

I don't even know what a secret shopper job is.

[Jade]

Somebody goes into a store and kind of like surveys how the customers are acting or like how the. The employees are treating guests and how the store is clean or not so clean. It's. Yeah. I've been in retail my whole life. I see it. I know.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. Okay. You got student loans.

[Jade]

Yes, I have two student loans from when I.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, combination of $4,448. No degree, right?

[Jade]

No.

[Caleb Hammer]

Only you'll get a certification. That'll be good.

[Jade]

I've been trying to take some bookkeeping courses during downtime and that has since been negated.

[Bernie]

I know that's hard.

[Caleb Hammer]

Here's your collections. We got 761.

[Jade]

That is the old Verizon bill.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, well, you wouldn't pay your phone bill either.

[Jade]

I'm so. That was not in my name. That was in my ex's name.

[Caleb Hammer]

And I have been true in some way. You were on it as well together. Maybe.

[Jade]

I don't know if he transferred it to my name without my knowledge. After we split up Verizon. I Had left Verizon and transferred to Mint Mobile.

[Caleb Hammer]

Doesn't matter. You may have still owed some money or a contract break fee. I don't know. You may have still owed. On the phone.

[Jade]

No, the phone was paid off.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, I don't know. You called them?

[Jade]

I've been trying to like defer or not defer them.

[Caleb Hammer]

She hasn't even called them. She hasn't even called for guys. I cannot advocate for you if you will not have a phone call with the company that you owed money to.

[Jade]

I think I've actually got an email that is from them. But I have been trying to dispute.

[Caleb Hammer]

Doesn't matter. Why'd you not at least call? I get the dispute. Yes. It's an important stuff.

[Jade]

Yes.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why not call Verizon? Hey, why do I owe this. Oh, my gosh. How could you not start with the most basic thing? I cannot advocate for you if you can't even make a phone call that's as bad as him.

[Jade]

So that one is under my dead name. And with my legal name change, I don't know if they're gonna try and fight it.

[Caleb Hammer]

So I did a name change.

[Jade]

A legal name?

[Bernie]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, you do have a dude's name. No, wait, no, you don't. Well, no, no, it's like the middle.

[Bernie]

I mean, maybe no trump, you can go either way.

[Caleb Hammer]

I believe it, but.

[Jade]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, well, either way, just make a phone call. I don't know, tell them, yeah, hey, I'm trans and like, something happened. My name. Sorry. But I also have like. I can show you. It's me. I got my Social Security number. That doesn't change.

[Jade]

Correct.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, you have collections 2164 as well.

[Jade]

Is it the same as that one?

[Caleb Hammer]

No, it doesn't look like it.

[Jade]

Okay, there's one that says Balinsky.

[Caleb Hammer]

That one didn't say this one says Balinsky. 1023 is Balinsky.

[Jade]

And the next one is a duplication of the same thing.

[Caleb Hammer]

212 to 21.

[Jade]

There's one that. It's the same exact amount and it's from the same place.

[Caleb Hammer]

I think we got rid of the duplication.

[Jade]

I've been fighting that for so long to dispute it on credit karma. And they're just like, well, there's nothing we can do about it.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, credit karma, no, you might have to be in touch with the actual bureau's.

[Jade]

Oh, look. Oh, I didn't. Shit, I didn't even think about that there. I had my identity still there too,

[Caleb Hammer]

so I think we threw it away. Because we thought it was double. Oh, no, there is two collections. Yes.

[Jade]

Two separate amounts.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, two separate amounts. So maybe the 2164 was either way, charter. You also owed 221 spectrum.

[Jade]

Yeah, so what.

[Caleb Hammer]

Whatever is to what doesn't necessarily matter. We know we have all this collections and.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

At this point, you're just gonna have to negotiate them down again on payment plans. Right, that's what it's gonna be. But we need a budgie. You try to budget this household. This doesn't work if you guys. You don't have to fully combine every account, but I think everything should go into a joint checking and then disperse from there so we can at least decide where money is going. We use dollar wise to understand where everything's going.

[Jade]

Right.

[Caleb Hammer]

You use your certifications, you get your education. With master money, you do. You take advantage of all the tools like every guest has, and you change your life like they have. But it doesn't work if you guys don't communicate. You need to go to couples therapy and she shouldn't be the one that has to book it. Like, stop. Stop being a little boy. You're being a little boy and then. I'm sorry for the gendered term, but you're acting like a child. There we go. Okay, so 5,000 comes in. No debt minimums, because they're all in collection. Well, student loans, is there a minimum in that? 4,000, 448.

[Jade]

They're active, so I'm not quite sure.

[Caleb Hammer]

Buddy, you should call them before it defaults and then they garnish your wages.

[Jade]

Okay, I will. I mean, I guess. I don't know. I guess, like, it just. It just started reactivating with the. I don't know, like something fell through. I don't. Everybody.

[Caleb Hammer]

Something fell through.

[Jade]

So I know that most people whose student loans were neutral, they weren't g. Deferred.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah. They were on a deferment.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Because the Supreme Court said no. So Biden. Yeah. Deferred it for about what was like a year and a half, I think. But that's been. That's been done. It's been done for a while now.

[Jade]

Right. So mine just started re. Re regrowing the interest.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, you can look at the new repayment assistance plan.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

That was passed under law through the one big beautiful bill. Well, you don't like it. However, it's going to help you so cry about this. Like, okay, listen, I. I don't like spending more than we bring in either, but you're gonna. This is actually helping You. So you can't cry about it. It'll bring you down to, like, even as low as 1% of your income being your payment.

[Bernie]

Oh, that's actually not it at all. Yeah, that's doable.

[Caleb Hammer]

It just extends the term you have to have before it's forgiven. That's fine if you're only doing 1% because you shouldn't be as subsidized as you. No, you don't need to be. You're making your own career choices and spending money. You don't have so much.

[Jade]

You.

[Caleb Hammer]

So what does it say the minimum is? Okay, let's put your debt minimums at 100. I don't know. Okay. What's your rent?

[Jade]

702.

[Bernie]

Yeah, 702 with the. The charge fee.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. What about Internet, gas, electric, utilities, all that combined?

[Bernie]

We don't.

[Caleb Hammer]

Just about.

[Jade]

I SAW utility payment CPE is 210. 75. The water bill is around 100amonth. We are just getting Internet installed, actually.

[Caleb Hammer]

What's it gonna be?

[Bernie]

50.

[Jade]

I think safely say 60.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. I'm gonna say utilities is 371. Phone bill.

[Jade]

$90.

[Caleb Hammer]

Huh?

[Jade]

$90. Okay.

[Caleb Hammer]

Gas. Vroom, vroom. Drive. Drive. One car. But how much should we spend?

[Jade]

100amonth.

[Caleb Hammer]

How much?

[Bernie]

I want to say it's time to

[Caleb Hammer]

bring on the blooms at the Home Depot with spring gard. Find savings on hanging baskets and flowers to brighten your backyard or any space that needs instant color. Then get everything you need to plant and protect them with low prices guaranteed on soil and mulch. Dig into spring garden deals for four days at the Home Depot now through May 10th exclusion supply. See homedepot.com pricematch for details.

[Bernie]

Probably 130.

[Jade]

You want to text your mom to double check?

[Bernie]

Yeah, I can go.

[Caleb Hammer]

Wait. She pays for it?

[Jade]

Yes.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah. So I'm crossing it out for now. Does she want you to pay for it?

[Bernie]

I can. I. We've been talking about getting it transferred over.

[Caleb Hammer]

You don't need to. I would like you to eventually. But I want you to pay off your debt.

[Bernie]

Okay?

[Caleb Hammer]

Get out of this collection situation.

[Bernie]

But they haven't given me a deadline of when they want to.

[Caleb Hammer]

Maybe on titty.

[Bernie]

No, no. He's eating our food too.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. We should be able to do about 750 bucks in groceries. Meal plan. Meal plan.

[Jade]

Oh, yes.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Use thing.

[Jade]

Yeah, it's a regular thing.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah. 750 is good. Okay. TP fund. Anything else you guys need to survive. Includes diapers and tampons and all that. Good. Stuff and makeup. 250 bucks. Jim, how much?

[Bernie]

Oh, I was gonna go to Planet Fitness.

[Caleb Hammer]

That was your New Year's resolution. Three months in, you haven't signed up. Oh my. You can't do anything. Okay, how much is Planet Fitness?

[Bernie]

10 bucks.

[Jade]

Yeah, that's for a basic membership, I'm pretty sure.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. Medical healthcare, co pays. I know you go get diagnosed and medicated for everything.

[Bernie]

So co pays for me are free, but monthly it's like $119 a month for my insurance.

[Caleb Hammer]

Anything on your own medical that I have to think about monthly?

[Jade]

No.

[Caleb Hammer]

Since 119 subscriptions, I'll put 40 bucks. Do you have any pets? Please don't.

[Jade]

Yes, two.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why do the poor people always have pets? What are they?

[Bernie]

They're two cats.

[Caleb Hammer]

How fine. Age?

[Jade]

They're seven years old.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh yeah. Okay, $100 pet insurance. How much for pet food?

[Jade]

I think pet food is about, about 30 bucks.

[Caleb Hammer]

And litter as well?

[Jade]

And litter, yeah. No, 100 bucks a month covers litter for. And food for both of them for a month.

[Caleb Hammer]

Anything else that needs to be in this budget, this lovely little budget. Before Spotify, I gave you $40 of subscriptions. You decide where that goes?

[Jade]

Yeah, yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

$3,032. You have an extra, let's just be conservative and say,750 dollars on a monthly base. So that's this. You're actually combined. Because independently it'll just get messy and you'll never know how much you have left over. Now just save up a couple month emergency fund that takes literally a couple of months and then start negotiating these debts. Say hey, I have this much to settle actually. Or just pay them. Most of them are small when it comes to the big ones like the 2000 and the 2000 and 1300. Yeah, let's do some disputes as we can. You need to sell. Just be like yo, I got a thousand. That's all. Just keep doing that over and over again. Never give them access to your bank. And just so you'll pay off this, you'll pay off this collection in a matter of months. Then save up a fully funded six month emergency fund and then start doing 50, 30, 20, which you guys even can on your income in that cheaper area. 50 to needs, 30 on fun, which is a decent amount of money. 20 saving for retirement. You'll be fine. My goodness. I don't understand why you guys over complicated this. It is because of your behavior. Uncontrolled spending because you guys can't communicate, which is what you guys actually need to focus on, which means go to couples therapy tomorrow. Going to get the Hammer Financial Score. But remember, join us for the post show. We are going to download that app and we're going to see what was being done on it. We're going to let her look through your phone as well for the first time ever. It's going to be a groundbreaking moment. Hammer Financial Score Spending in a budget we spent 4648. The income was 4,788. Okay. Oh, but cash app launch loan draw of 1190 was a part of the income. So you spent more than you made. 0 out of 10. Debt collection 0 out of 10. Emergency fund nothing. 0 out of 10. Retirement nothing. 0. Oh wow. Everything's a zero. Hammer financial score 0 out of 10. Get yours@caleb hammer.com Join Hammer Elite for three premium shows every single day. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday. And get an extra 20 minutes of this show called the Financial Auto Pod Show. It's gonna be good. I'll see you there. Download that now.

[Bernie]

Is it giving you a little tingle reading it? No.

[Caleb Hammer]

What's he saying?

[Jade]

I face palm as I remove my hands. Do you have a reason why you say you struggle to initiate but you can't have a conversation?

[Caleb Hammer]

Hammer Elite is the best YouTube membership on the platform and I just upgraded it. Three exclusive dedicated shows every single day, Monday through Friday. Join with the link in the pinned comment or description below. This is the best membership you'll ever join. That's a promise.

[Jade]

Some follow the noise. Bloomberg follows the money. Whether it's the funds fueling AI and or crypto's trillion dollar swings, there's a money side to every story. Get the money side of the story. Subscribe [e-mail].