They F*cking Hate Each Other | Financial Audit

Summary

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Financial Audit Podcast Episode Summary

Episode Title: "They F*cking Hate Each Other | Financial Audit"

Host: Caleb Hammer | Guests: Benjamin (31) & Xena (30), Nevada, Texas | Date: January 12, 2026

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Overview

This episode dives into the tumultuous relationship and financial pitfalls of Benjamin and Xena, a married couple from Nevada, Texas. With explosive arguments, blame games, and near-constant bickering, Caleb attempts a forensic audit of their chaotic household finances – while playing mediator in a relationship on the brink. The show lays bare not only their deeply unstable money habits but also the personal, emotional, and behavioral roots of their dysfunction.

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Key Discussion Points

1. Relationship Dynamics & Household Tension

• Mutual Resentment and Constant Arguments:
  • The episode kicks off with aggressive jokes and insults, with both guests trading barbs about responsibility, intelligence, and physical appearance.
    • Xena repeatedly calls out Benjamin’s lack of ambition.
    • Benjamin counters by blaming Xena’s temperament for his issues.
• Communication Breakdown:
  • They openly admit to not discussing finances and failing to cooperate.
    • Xena: “There's no conversations. Cuz he has no idea what our finances are.” [19:23]
    • Caleb: “How can we pay bills if we don't make money? When you sat on your ass, played video games all night mama3 all night fair.” [62:22]

2. Employment & Income

• Benjamin:
  • Recently started a job at a gun parts supplier, pays $20/hr; previous job paid $23/hr (security at an adult theme park; lost during mass layoffs).
  • No degree, no GED, unambitious toward upskilling; admits to gaming and inactivity during his unemployment.
  • Defends not working, citing illness (Crohn's disease) but ultimately admits to inaction.
• Xena:
  • Breadwinner as scheduler for two oral surgeon practices; earns ~$24/hr (~$1600 biweekly).
  • Also without a college degree but completed practical certificates.
  • Recently picked up a second job at Sam’s Club to offset mounting expenses.

3. Debt, Spending & Financial Mismanagement

• Total Debt: $64,453.81 (excluding additional past due car repairs and personal loans).
• Living Situation:
  • Moved in with Xena’s parents to reduce costs but still pay $800/month in rent.
  • Household income is barely over minimum combined expenses.
• Lifestyle & Spending Habits:
  • Rampant overspending on Uber Eats, DoorDash, Amazon, and “bullshit” purchases—often on credit.
    • Xena: “Sometimes I'll get lunch at work.” [75:12]
    • Caleb: “No. Pack a sandwich.” [75:13]
  • Multiple maxed-out, high-interest credit cards with chronic late fees.
  • Car payments and repair debts at predatory interest rates (up to 19%).
    • Benjamin’s Volkswagen GTI loan: $17,479 @19% interest; car is unreliable and underwater.
    • Xena’s Ford Edge loan: $26,115 @14% interest.
  • Habitual buying and selling (“flipping”) of gold, silver, and a custom gun (justified as an “investment”) despite being unemployed and needing cash for bills.

4. Accountability & Blame

• Blame Game:
  • Each spouse blames the other for the precarious situation:
    • Benjamin: “We wouldn't be in so much trouble if she hadn't taken out a bunch of credit cards.” [03:03]
    • Xena: “I wouldn't have to take out so many credit cards if you actually worked.” [10:27]
• Financial Illiteracy & Denial:
  • Neither has a functional budget or clear idea of monthly outflows.
  • Caleb uncovers that most purchases classified as “necessary” are actually frivolous.
  • They have no savings and no retirement fund.
  • Both admit to hiding purchases and lying about spending, from fast food to personal gadgets.

5. Family Dynamics, Upbringing & Emotional Roots

• Benjamin’s Family Influence:
  • Dropped out of high school under his father’s direction (bar owner, history of shady finances, loss of wealth due to IRS).
  • Admits that both parents modeled poor money management.
• Xena’s Family:
  • Her parents repeatedly urge Benjamin to get his act together.
  • The couple copes with generational and cultural expectations (“traditional” gender roles, resistance to a woman earning more).
• Personal Growth?
  • Benjamin admits immaturity: “I've been a piece of shit. I have been very immature. But I've just decided like, I'm tired of living like this.” [35:03]
  • Xena explicitly defines an ultimatum: Benjamin must improve (get a better job, education, and participate in finances) or face divorce. [63:52]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Xena:
  • “Well, at least I have a high school degree.” [00:14; 15:27]
  • “I've told you when first started dating that I was a actual. But I call people out like, I don't give a.” [25:10]
  • “I've never had to pay into taxes. So when it started, I was like, I can't pay this. And so it's just progressed over each year.” [61:04]
• Benjamin:
  • “Dude, having to put up with all this bullshit is killing me. So, yeah, I smoke a little bit of nicotine because if I don't, I'm gonna jump off a building from having to deal with all the bullshit that you start.” [00:47; 24:38]
  • “I fixed my car and I. That I had to spend $5,000 on that car because you got a shitty ass car.” [19:34]
  • “You game? And she does all the work. She makes the jewelry. Whatever the. This is. What the is wrong with you, dude?” [39:14]
• Caleb Hammer:
  • “You're basically dying in poverty and can't make more than $20 an hour.” [09:48]
  • “You are taking the classes together. Guys, it is not an option. Take them together. It has changed tens of thousands of people's lives for a reason.” [78:06]
  • “You guys are living at home with your parents. Pathetic. Pathetic.” [85:12]
  • “Nothing in here shows any behavior change. Use the dollar wise app. Good the luck guys.” [90:21]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Explosive Opening, Fat & Blame Jokes: [00:03–01:15]
• Employment, Education, & Gaming All Night: [01:15–13:44]
• Arguments over Credit Cards and Spending: [10:24–13:14]
• Living with Parents & Family Intervention: [34:38–36:33]
• Automotive Debt Disaster: [54:45–60:07]
• Credit Card Mayhem (Uber Eats, Amazon, DoorDash): [74:47–82:35]
• Financial Score & Ultimatum Discussion: [63:47–68:08]
• Caleb’s Final Assessment & Tough Love: [87:03–90:21]

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Tone & Takeaways

• Raw, Unfiltered, and Combative: The episode’s language is unrestrained, with frequent swearing, heavy sarcasm, and gallows humor. Caleb refuses to sugarcoat his blunt assessments, pressing the couple for answers and accountability.
• Behavioral Crisis Overshadows Budgeting: The core message isn’t just about numbers—it’s about confronting the self-destructive habits and resentments that keep them in financial and relational chaos.
• No Change, No Hope: While Xena is proactive (seeking a second job, laying down ultimatums), Benjamin shows only glimmers of remorse. Their hope lies in taking personal finance courses, open communication, and a total overhaul of attitude and habits.

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Final Impression

This episode is a cautionary tale of how unchecked personal issues, poor communication, and impulsive decision-making can spiral into a financial and emotional disaster. Caleb’s brutally honest audit exposes not just the debt but the underlying behavioral patterns that fuel both poverty and resentment. Genuine change will require both participants to own their failures, work together, and—above all—grow up, fast.

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Summary by: Financial Audit Podcast Summarizer — Keeping it real, so you don’t have to live through this mess yourself.

Transcript

[Caleb Hammer]

To watch episodes of Financial Audit a week earlier. Check us out on YouTube.

[Benjamin]

Hey, you know how I got this fat Caleb? Every time I. Your mom, she makes me a sandwich. So if we want to keep going with the fat jokes, we can go there. I think the bottom line is we wouldn't be in so much trouble if she hadn't taken out a bunch of credit cards.

[Xena]

Well, at least I have a high school degree.

[Benjamin]

If he was married to you, he would smoke nicotine, too. She will pick a fight with a brick wall. We were in Whataburger the other day. Some lady came in and bitched about her food. And she's like, shut the up. It's not that big of a deal. And it's like, dude, this is why I had to start carrying a gun in the car was because you start shit with everybody on the road, and then they get out of the car and want to come fight me because of your mouth. You're gonna get us killed. So, yes, I go smoke nicotine because I have to deal with you.

[Xena]

That sounds like a you problem.

[Benjamin]

God damn it, that sounds like a.

[Xena]

You problem, not a me problem.

[Benjamin]

Dude, having to put up with all this bullshit is killing me. So, yeah, I smoke a little bit of nicotine because if I don't, I'm gonna jump off a building from having to deal with all the bullshit that you start.

[Hammer Elite Announcer]

You came for the finances. What if you could have more? Join Hammer Elite this month for free and discover what the number one membership on the platform has to offer. See description for more details.

[Benjamin]

Hi, I'm Benjamin. I'm 31.

[Xena]

And I'm Xena. I'm 30. We're based out of Nevada. Texas.

[Benjamin]

And this is Financial Audit.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yes, it is. Thanks for coming. I have no idea where the that is, but that's okay. I do know it's a small town based on what you told me before we started filming. So very curious to hear what we do for work in Nevada. Texas. What do you do for work in Nevada, Benjamin?

[Benjamin]

So I just recently got a job working for a gun supplier.

[Caleb Hammer]

They make guns in Nevada? Little.

[Benjamin]

I actually commute out a little bit to Grapevine, which is about an hour away.

[Caleb Hammer]

But there's another place that also. No one knows your hours. Your commute's an hour.

[Benjamin]

Yeah, so we live basically.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why don't you live where industry is?

[Benjamin]

Okay, well, look, dude, like, it's not that easy to find a job in DFW that isn't like horse slop right now. And so, like, you really have to.

[Caleb Hammer]

Dig, it's literally one of the best job markets in the entire country. That metro. You say that while metrics say that. Well, employers say that, employees say that. All the data says that. You don't say that.

[Benjamin]

Well, I mean, but the reality of it is, is that places are always hiring. Right? But I submitted over 70 job applications.

[Caleb Hammer]

Qualified to anything to save your life? Well, actually, yeah. You're very close to dfw.

[Benjamin]

I was gonna say.

[Caleb Hammer]

So we're talking about. You're just.

[Benjamin]

Yeah, but it's like, what are you doing? It's like an hour. So it's like an hour to go through traffic, and it's not actually a fur.

[Caleb Hammer]

You chose to live where you live, so I don't really care. I mean, you're literally. You're closer down Dallas than Dallas carding complexes.

[Xena]

Well, we list. We used to live in Fort Worth.

[Benjamin]

Yeah, we used to live in Fort Worth.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay.

[Benjamin]

Moved.

[Caleb Hammer]

We moved. Okay, very good. So you make guns?

[Benjamin]

Sort of. I sell, like, the accessories to make guns.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, exciting. What do you make?

[Benjamin]

Era 15 parts, no income. Oh, like $20 an hour. I just started, like, my first day's Monday.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, that's. Okay. Well, I don't know why that equals just. Just $20 an hour. Like, you can start a job making good money.

[Benjamin]

Yeah, I guess I just started off at 20. My job that I was laid off from, I was making about 23.

[Caleb Hammer]

So what was that job?

[Benjamin]

I worked security for an amusement park that I'm not allowed to see.

[Caleb Hammer]

What kid did you touch?

[Benjamin]

No, not kids. This is an adult theme park for adults.

[Caleb Hammer]

Adult What? There's titties?

[Benjamin]

Sometimes. Sometimes. Yeah, sometimes there's.

[Caleb Hammer]

Titties are the rides, like, going up your ass is like oral pudding.

[Benjamin]

It's like the closest thing to doing acid without actually doing acid. It's like a psychedelic artery experience. So people would come in.

[Caleb Hammer]

We're talking about, why'd you get laid off?

[Benjamin]

Because the company's to be 100.

[Caleb Hammer]

That's what everyone says who gets laid off.

[Benjamin]

Like, okay, so they started as an artist.

[Caleb Hammer]

The disgruntled former employee. Here he is, ladies and gentlemen. Listen.

[Benjamin]

Every time they got bought out by Disney, and when they got bought out.

[Caleb Hammer]

By Disney, bought a titty park.

[Benjamin]

Well, it's not.

[Caleb Hammer]

I can't.

[Benjamin]

I legitimately, like, can't say exactly what it is. But they have investments, and because, like, I signed an NDA.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, yeah. Which is good.

[Benjamin]

Essentially, I can, like, come up to the line and tell you. So when they bought it, I want.

[Caleb Hammer]

You to respect the NDA. I sue the. Out of people that break NDA. So I hope Disney does too. You know, we all should. I, I mean they're there for a reason. I, I don't like. I don't want to hear the signing. You chose to sign it. I don't.

[Benjamin]

Right. I had to pretty much.

[Caleb Hammer]

But anyway, maybe.

[Benjamin]

Yes. So.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, there you go. So you chose that it was an agreed agreement between two people. I don't want to hear it.

[Benjamin]

Right. But anyway, the end of, the end of the thing was they. When they bought us out, they laid off 400 employees from all of the exhibits. And a majority of those took. A majority of those that took a hit were security professionals because they're switching to an AI platform. Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Security for stopping people.

[Benjamin]

Yes.

[Caleb Hammer]

So they have touching the tips.

[Benjamin]

They have like three. So they have like three actual security guards. But then everything else is done through, you know, don't. But camera work.

[Caleb Hammer]

So it's, it's probably makes sense to an extent.

[Benjamin]

I mean, I mean I just as.

[Caleb Hammer]

Long as like the camera's catching things, the security can respond in person and you would need less security of. Makes sense. I mean, I don't, I don't root for layoffs. It's not very fun. It's not great. It affects people. You weren't making that much more. No, I mean, no offense. That's not like the career trajectory of a big bread winning opportunity.

[Benjamin]

No. And that's why I also was.

[Caleb Hammer]

But now you're making less. What are you. What's it. Do you have a degree?

[Benjamin]

Oh, no, no. Absolutely not.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why that reaction?

[Benjamin]

I think college is a wastage. Sure.

[Caleb Hammer]

You're making $20 an hour at 31.

[Benjamin]

Right. But so, you know, I mean, I.

[Caleb Hammer]

Agree college can be done very incorrectly. I just wasn't. But I don't think you're the example of the person to say that 20 is not necessarily bad, but in DFW, it's not great.

[Benjamin]

Well, in DFW it's not great. And the only reason I took the pay cut to take this job is because it has a really like.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, you didn't take the pay cut to take the job. You got laid off your last.

[Benjamin]

Well, right. But either way, I mean, I think the bottom line is I know that this company has a good culture and has an opportunity for growth. So that's why I'm cool with going there.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure, sure, sure, sure. So what's gonna hit? Oh, she's, she was rolling her eyes. I didn't see it. But they caught it. What did you roll your eyes at, lady? Yeah, I haven't talked to you yet, Xena.

[Xena]

Oh, what's going on? He was. He doesn't have, like, no degree. I like, tried to push him to go to school and like, get something, but he can never figure out what the hell he wants to do.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, see, that's the thing that matters. Because going to college without knowing what you want to do. Sure, you could do like two years at a community college. That's fine. But if you don't know what you want, I. I can get you a course GRID certification. You look. You look like you were born into it. I can get you an IT certification through course careers. A lot of them out there have done it and made a lot of money. So, I mean, I. I'll get that for you. But yeah, I mean, college still. College degrees on average do earn double the lifetime value. Those with college degrees. Now, people bullshit college. They go to college, spend way too much, get they around. They 40% drop out. They. And the median that goes to College gets $40,000 of student loans. And again, 40% of those drop out. And people get bullshit degrees. And there's stupid ways to go to college and expensive colleges that you don't need to go to. And you think you're doing it for connections and it doesn't really work out. Don't get me wrong, I'll talk the anti college game, but if we're being objective about it. No, not college in general is just bullshit. Like, that's not how that works. College can be very good if you do it properly. Look at you right now. You can't find a job and you just settled for $20 an hour in DFW, you know.

[Benjamin]

Well, I mean.

[Caleb Hammer]

I mean, I'm pretty sure like McDonald's worker. At least in Austin. McDonald's starts at 16, 17 an hour or else they can't hire people. So you're not. Yeah, like doing incredibly well at 31. So to just shit on college. You're not the example and shining light to do that.

[Xena]

I think he just kind of took a job. Whatever. Like, came to him because he's been.

[Benjamin]

Unemployed because all the credit.

[Caleb Hammer]

How long have you been unemployed?

[Xena]

Well, he's been out of work since April.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, Colton's saying that she's kind of upset with you because she's been carrying your dead weight.

[Benjamin]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Through the unemployment.

[Benjamin]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

I think that's the issue.

[Xena]

Yep.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah. I mean, well, Zena, tell me about it.

[Xena]

Well, I've been the breadwinner since we got together.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, we know you like bread, that's for sure.

[Xena]

Yeah, I do.

[Caleb Hammer]

But what's the point of that? There was no. There was no need for me to say. Why did I even. Why did I immediately go for the fat joke?

[Xena]

I mean, you look like you like bread too, so.

[Caleb Hammer]

Girl, you could eat 10 of them before we get to.

[Xena]

You know what? I could. I really like Texas Roadhouse rolls, dude.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, who doesn't? No, we'll goon to that. I love that. We will hate that word.

[Benjamin]

Holy God damn it.

[Caleb Hammer]

Go. Xena and I. Xena and I are going to go have a party at Texas Roadhouse. And you're not invited, bitch.

[Benjamin]

I mean, you.

[Xena]

Get out of here. So you're about to make a trade based on a friend's text, but which you do you listen to, is it. We could buy a house in Tulum. Get optioning those options. We could lose everything. Or let's do a little research. Get your head in the trade and make the investment decision that's right for you. Learn [e-mail] TradeSmart we're going to go.

[Caleb Hammer]

Hey, the fatties are talking. Go lay down.

[Benjamin]

Don't you have a dragon to chase or something? You and Samwise Gamgee, the rest of the other hobbits. You know, I'm just wondering, is that.

[Caleb Hammer]

A hairy foot joke?

[Benjamin]

No, it's because you're short.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, how tall are you?

[Benjamin]

Six? Four?

[Caleb Hammer]

I guess I am shorter than you. I am the median average height for an American male, but.

[Benjamin]

So you're cool with being average?

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah. In terms of height, sure. Okay, I'm cool with that. We don't need a dick measuring contest. You're basically dying in poverty and can't make more than $20 an hour.

[Benjamin]

That's fair. Oh, it's like those memes, the lie.

[Caleb Hammer]

You're also balding. And you're only one year older than me. Trust me, I'm not worried.

[Benjamin]

You know, I mean, you got to look up when you talk me. So I may be balding, but that's.

[Caleb Hammer]

Not while we're sitting. But it does help. It does help when we stand that. I can't see. The top of your head is receding.

[Benjamin]

See? Exactly.

[Xena]

That's.

[Benjamin]

That's part of it, right?

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah. You know, that's your only defense is.

[Benjamin]

Yeah, like. Look, dude, I think the bottom line is we wouldn't be in so much trouble if she hadn't taken out a bunch of credit cards.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, that's. Now that's a deflection yeah, well, you.

[Xena]

Know, I wouldn't have to take out so many credit cards if you actually like, worked.

[Benjamin]

I mean, I did work.

[Xena]

No, you didn't.

[Caleb Hammer]

You could have got a job.

[Xena]

You would have done something like part time.

[Benjamin]

I mean, I could. I mean, I guess, but at the same time, you know, he throws it on.

[Caleb Hammer]

He throws it on you.

[Xena]

He throws everything on me.

[Caleb Hammer]

Of course.

[Xena]

It's always my fault for everything.

[Caleb Hammer]

So, Xena, what the is actually going on? He's throwing that. You're taking out all the credit cards. Please tell me what's going on.

[Xena]

Well, we were like. I. I don't make as much money as like I would like to. So like we were surviving. We lived in an apartment together. You know, we were paying like eighteen hundred dollars a month. And so like my income only covered like a good portion of our bills. So we were struggling. So I had to take out all these credit cards to help pay for things like gas, groceries, which.

[Caleb Hammer]

Which. Okay, we'll see. Because I have a good feeling a lot of it went to bullshit, but. Because that always continues, you know. That always continues even after laid off in our culture and our. In our incredibly consumerism culture. But the thing. Weren't you going out and working and bringing home some bread? Why weren't you? Because, listen, let's just take her word for a second. And you guys only lived off the minimum necessities. And you had to put it on credit cards that opened them, max them out just because you were just. What was he doing all day? Nothing.

[Xena]

Literally nothing.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, he had to do something.

[Xena]

No, he would stay up all night during the day.

[Caleb Hammer]

I would.

[Xena]

Gaming.

[Caleb Hammer]

There we go. So he's doing something. So he's being a. He's. He's being a little incel.

[Xena]

A little Gooner.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, well, no, let's not give that glory. That word doesn't matter. It's not applicable to you. You're not fun like the rest of us. You're a degenerate. I am all night and plays video games instead of actually trying to provide for the household that he lives in. You don't get the title of Gooner. You're a loser.

[Benjamin]

So I think that we should probably also mention that I had to be on put on FMLA leave because I had disease for quiet. So I basically started having some health issues.

[Caleb Hammer]

Doesn't matter. You got laid off and you didn't go get another job though.

[Benjamin]

Well, this is actually.

[Caleb Hammer]

I mean, that's what I'm talking about. Exactly. And we're talking about what recently happened when she had to put everything on credit cards. Yeah, because FML leave. You still get.

[Benjamin]

But that's what.

[Caleb Hammer]

So the money.

[Benjamin]

No, he didn't.

[Caleb Hammer]

You didn't get anything.

[Xena]

No.

[Benjamin]

No, you don't.

[Xena]

And even when he got laid off.

[Caleb Hammer]

You didn't offer anything.

[Benjamin]

So, like, essentially what happened was the reason that she had to take out the credit cards. In her defense, and this is the one time that I will defend her is because I.

[Caleb Hammer]

The one time. You hear that.

[Xena]

I know. You literally will never defend me.

[Benjamin]

I mean, so I got Crohn's disease. I got diagnosed with Crohn's disease. It put me out of work. I had to be hospitalized for a period of time.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, how is it today?

[Benjamin]

Not great, but I just. There's.

[Caleb Hammer]

Can you work now?

[Benjamin]

Yes, I've.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. If you can work, then. Working. We're not chroming it up. No.

[Benjamin]

And I mean, like, it. That doesn't matter. An excuse is an excuse. But the bottom line, I mean, it happened.

[Caleb Hammer]

It's. Sorry. And I can have sympathy for it. I agree. But that's not where we are today. And again, that didn't affect the layoff and what you're doing during the layoff, you were gaming all night.

[Benjamin]

Well, I think what ended up happening was. Is the reason I got laid off is because I got put on FMLA leave, which, of course, is illegal, but I can't, you know, fight that. But when I came back from my leave, essentially, they're like, oh, hey, like, we don't have a position for you anymore.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah. I mean, they let off a ton of people.

[Xena]

Yeah. Because you were gone for four months.

[Benjamin]

Yeah, but I mean.

[Caleb Hammer]

Four months.

[Xena]

Four months from April.

[Caleb Hammer]

Is that what I qualified for?

[Benjamin]

Yeah. Yeah, that's what they. That's what it qualified for. I stayed up and played video games and shit all night.

[Caleb Hammer]

How long are you off? Because it's 12 weeks unpaid that you're able to take off.

[Benjamin]

Yeah. So I was off for.

[Caleb Hammer]

Bummer. They didn't offer anything outside of that.

[Benjamin]

No, they didn't offer anything outside of that. But essentially, I was off from, like, April to September. So Pretty. Or August.

[Xena]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

So you did more than the 12 weeks?

[Benjamin]

Yeah, I mean, they gave me a little bit.

[Caleb Hammer]

They were okay with that?

[Benjamin]

Well, because it was considered a debilitating illness, and it's still. Technically. Like, I could take disability for it, but I think that, like, that's garbage because I can still stand up and, like, go to work and do shit and. So to take disability from somebody that actually needs it.

[Caleb Hammer]

But then why didn't you?

[Benjamin]

Because.

[Xena]

Because he didn't apply for it.

[Benjamin]

I didn't apply for it. I.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, there you go. So why keep putting it all on her?

[Benjamin]

Like, obviously she has like the experience to go out and get better jobs than I do.

[Caleb Hammer]

Just a loser. What the is this?

[Xena]

Sometimes.

[Caleb Hammer]

I mean.

[Benjamin]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

And what do you do, Xena, for living with all your degrees?

[Xena]

I'm a scheduler for two oral surgeon practices.

[Caleb Hammer]

With all our degrees. We're a scheduler.

[Xena]

I don't have that many degrees.

[Caleb Hammer]

You made it sound like you're a collector.

[Benjamin]

What are you talking about?

[Xena]

I have a certification?

[Benjamin]

Hell no. You've got like. Dude, you went to school like three different times.

[Xena]

I went to school twice. First of all, went to school was a beauty degree.

[Benjamin]

So we'll just like throw that one out. Cuz that was aing waste. You didn't even go get licensed afterwards, so don't start that with me.

[Xena]

Well, at least I went to school.

[Caleb Hammer]

I mean. Oh, okay.

[Xena]

Yeah, at least I gradated.

[Benjamin]

You don't even use. What the are you talking about?

[Xena]

I use. I went to school to be a medical assistant. I didn't.

[Benjamin]

You did it.

[Xena]

Yeah.

[Benjamin]

And now you're scheduler and you're.

[Xena]

And I make more money than about.

[Benjamin]

Not having a degree.

[Xena]

And I make more money than you establish that.

[Benjamin]

It's not that hard to make more money than make. Congratulations.

[Xena]

Yeah, well, at least I have a high school degree.

[Benjamin]

Oh, a high school degree. Okay, so because I have a GED that makes.

[Xena]

You don't have a GED either.

[Benjamin]

All right, stop airing out on the podcast. God damn.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why would you say you have a GED if you.

[Benjamin]

Because I gotta apply for jobs and I use chat GPT to make that.

[Caleb Hammer]

Like to make.

[Benjamin]

Wash it A fake diploma all the time.

[Caleb Hammer]

First of all.

[Benjamin]

First of all, the fact that it works.

[Caleb Hammer]

Not even that. But no one asked to see a high school diploma.

[Benjamin]

Dude, you would be surprised. I've been asked like four different times. Applying for jobs. Recently. Recently I had somebody like actually go through and like verify my employment at other places.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh yeah. I mean that can happen in those automated systems. I can run it, but oftentimes you can put degrees of a lot of things on resumes.

[Benjamin]

Yeah, well, see, and that's the thing is I like, I don't lie about other degrees. But yeah, like I've dropped out of high school.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why not just get your ged?

[Xena]

Because he's lazy.

[Benjamin]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

So you've been a loser A lazy loser your entire life. Why'd you drop out of high school? Lazy loser.

[Benjamin]

So I dropped out because we'll get into family stuff later. But my dad doesn't really, like, like never really believed in school. He was a bar owner.

[Caleb Hammer]

He's okay, but it's you, not him.

[Benjamin]

Yeah, but when I was still living with him, he was like, you don't need to go to school. You need to drop out and come.

[Caleb Hammer]

Help me with the business is wrong with him.

[Benjamin]

So he's Arab and like had a very. So, like. Yeah, you're an Arab. Yes. Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, yeah. Your last name's scary. Yeah. Yeah.

[Benjamin]

See?

[Caleb Hammer]

So like, I didn't see that.

[Xena]

So like, you know, hey, listen, they're the white Arabs. They're Lebanese.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah.

[Benjamin]

All right, look, just because my uncle, you know, he's a suicide bomber instructor. Not Even kidding, he FaceTimed me into his recent class. He said. All right, kids, I'm only going to show you this once.

[Caleb Hammer]

No. Okay, so your dad's weird. Dad.

[Benjamin]

Dad is very weird. Dad is very controlling. I've actually gone like, no contact.

[Caleb Hammer]

A GED is very simple to get, if I'm not mistaken. I mean, I think now, why not just.

[Benjamin]

I would have. I would have to study and like, just do it. I just studied.

[Caleb Hammer]

Dude. The most people I've ever met can go get ged.

[Benjamin]

Dude, have you ever have your. With algebra, like out of high school, like as an adult.

[Caleb Hammer]

But again, the most people I've ever met have gotten GEDs.

[Benjamin]

I mean, like I could do it. I just haven't. I haven't seen it.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, look, it's. It's making you. Well, what purpose you make? 20 an hour in DFW. Again, 20 an hour in the middle of Kansas. Sure. DFW. That's difficult because I'm guessing you're going to be bringing in 2,800amonth after taxes and everything. Probably guessing that's who you're. What do you make being a scheduler?

[Xena]

24 14, at least.

[Caleb Hammer]

You guys live in a. Listen, on the edge of dfw. For sure. But it is the middle of nowhere. It must be cheap.

[Xena]

It is.

[Caleb Hammer]

Must be cheap. What's your account per paycheck and what's that paycheck cycle.

[Xena]

My bi weekly and it's about 1600.

[Caleb Hammer]

And you make how much?

[Xena]

24.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, 1600. Yeah, yeah. Per paycheck. Cycle. Okay, so 32 for you. Yeah, that makes sense. What made him actually go get this job?

[Xena]

I forced him to get a job.

[Caleb Hammer]

Is that the Environment we want to potentially ever bring a kid into. Is this, is this, is the.

[Benjamin]

No.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why'd you settle for this?

[Xena]

I mean, I love them, but it's kind of like. Yeah, our relationship has been like a.

[Benjamin]

It's been rocky. Yeah, I mean like, you know, I like, I'm fully aware that I have had like I've been a piece of shit. And so like coming on the show and like kind of moving forward from that is me like trying to correct the. I like. It's no excuse.

[Caleb Hammer]

How did the dynamics work in this house when it comes to finances? Because again, you just started a job. You actually haven't even started the job.

[Benjamin]

I actually.

[Caleb Hammer]

So what has been happening when it comes to finances in this household? Your guys conversations. What is it like she runs everything.

[Xena]

There's no conversations. Cuz he has no idea what our finances are.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why? Dude, you're lazy and everything. What's one thing you've done? I don't know. I mean, be at the top of a leaderboard in Call of Duty probably, but other than that, what else?

[Benjamin]

I fixed my car and I.

[Xena]

That I had to spend $5,000 on that car because you got a shitty ass car.

[Caleb Hammer]

Are you able to do anything? Is he able to do anything? Why? Why do you put up with a loser?

[Xena]

He's able to game. That's like what he does. All right, places a little. What is it the Rog outline thing?

[Benjamin]

Yes. I don't think we need to slander specific companies, but Slandering you?

[Caleb Hammer]

I think we can all play games without being losers.

[Benjamin]

To be honest with you, I like am really terrible with numbers. I'm really terrible at everything apparently.

[Caleb Hammer]

Shut the up. Learn something, asshole. I mean, yeah, I'm not good with numbers either, but I can do personal finances. It's not complicated.

[Benjamin]

I mean, I just like. I don't know, she's just always kind of handled it, so I just let her handle it.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why? Why are you just letting him be a piece of shit?

[Xena]

I tried and it doesn't work.

[Caleb Hammer]

Then tell me, tell me about the try and how this works.

[Benjamin]

I mean, I didn't even activate my debit card.

[Xena]

Well, okay, so we switched.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, you're a. What are you.

[Xena]

And I ordered him a debit card and we got it in. And for like four months he wouldn't activate it. And for four months he didn't even have.

[Benjamin]

Well, because my whole thing behind it was if I don't have a job, I don't need a debit card. So I don't spend Money. But you still do.

[Caleb Hammer]

Probably. No, I.

[Xena]

You do.

[Benjamin]

Hold on.

[Xena]

You do. No. Don't even lie. How many times do you go to Dutch Bros?

[Benjamin]

All right, when I was employed, I used to to Dutch Bros. No, even.

[Xena]

When you're not employed, you went to.

[Caleb Hammer]

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[Benjamin]

I can't think how many times I've been.

[Caleb Hammer]

You can't do anything.

[Benjamin]

Well, let's talk about.

[Xena]

Let's talk and your little vape shop.

[Benjamin]

Listen, if I.

[Caleb Hammer]

If I.

[Benjamin]

If he was married to you, he would smoke nicotine too. Tell you that right now.

[Xena]

I don't care because.

[Caleb Hammer]

God, what does that mean? What's that? What does that mean.

[Benjamin]

Dude, like, let me tell you, she will pick a fight with a brick wall. We were in Whataburger the other day. Some lady came in and bitched about her food, and she's like, shut the up. It's not that big of a deal. And it's like, dude, dude, Karen, it doesn't matter.

[Xena]

She was yelling at a service worker, right?

[Benjamin]

But that's her prerogative. She wants to yell at that. Don't get involved. This is why I had to. Carrying a gun in the car was because you start with everybody on the road, and then they get out of the car and want to come fight me because of your mouth.

[Xena]

Well, it's because you want to pick a fight with people.

[Caleb Hammer]

I don't.

[Benjamin]

What are you talking about? You called somebody ugly in the Walmart parking lot yesterday for cutting you off.

[Caleb Hammer]

Off.

[Benjamin]

You seriously hurt that dude's feelings, too. I'm not even. No, it's not funny. He was laughing about it. Dude, you seriously, like, ruined that guy's day because he took a parking spot. And then are we even gonna go as far as, like, the fucking Reno's incident when we went out and you yelled at that whole group of girls for just having a good time when?

[Caleb Hammer]

Tell me about it.

[Benjamin]

I don't even remember if I didn't have to, like. No, you talk shit perpetually.

[Xena]

I do.

[Benjamin]

To everybody. And that's a problem. So, yeah, I still have a little bit of yeah. What do you mean it's not a problem? Dude, I have guys coming out of their car with tire iron.

[Xena]

That's your fault, not mine.

[Benjamin]

I'm not the one that rolls down my window.

[Caleb Hammer]

Shut up, ugly. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

[Benjamin]

Like, dude, you're gonna get us killed.

[Xena]

Well, if they deserve it, they deserve it.

[Benjamin]

I would. Yes. So, yes, I go smoke nicotine because I have to deal with you. Yes, you are problem. You are not for public concern.

[Xena]

That sounds like a you problem. God damn it, that sounds like you problem. Not a me problem.

[Benjamin]

Maybe a loser, but God damn if I didn't. Dude, having to put up with all this bullshit is killing me. So, yeah, I smoke a little bit of nicotine, because if I don't, I'm gonna jump off a building from having to deal with all the bullshit that you start. So don't even with me.

[Xena]

Are you done?

[Benjamin]

Everything else?

[Xena]

Yeah, fine.

[Benjamin]

All right, fine.

[Xena]

Calm the fuck down, bro.

[Benjamin]

Fuck you. Seriously. Jesus Christ.

[Xena]

You're stupid.

[Caleb Hammer]

Your rebuttal. I mean, that does paint a picture. I'll be honest. I'M a B.

[Xena]

And I've never claimed not to be A. And I've told you when first started dating that I was a actual. But I call people out like, I don't give a.

[Benjamin]

There's a difference in between, like calling somebody out and then like straight up being like, hey, I know my husband's got hands, so I'm going to talk to you because I know that there's nothing you can do about it. You know what I mean?

[Xena]

Like, seriously, you know, like, I don't care. Like, even if I talk like, I talk to you, I call you megamine.

[Caleb Hammer]

All right?

[Benjamin]

Which.

[Caleb Hammer]

Right.

[Benjamin]

Okay.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why? He doesn't seem that bright.

[Benjamin]

Well, as you look at the forehead, as you pointed out, I have a receding hairline.

[Caleb Hammer]

It's going away. Bye. Bye.

[Xena]

He's got a big ass forehead. It's very shiny.

[Benjamin]

I feel so loved at this table right now. I can feel the love here.

[Xena]

Well, I mean, you want it. You wanted to. You wanted to come at me for no reason.

[Benjamin]

Why are we coming at you? Because you can't shut your mouth.

[Xena]

Well, that has nothing to do with our finance.

[Benjamin]

What do you mean it has nothing to do with our finance finances. If I end up having to go to the hospital because some dude beat me with a tire iron because of some stupid. That you said.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, I would say it has to do with the finances. Because if you guys try to have a conversation about finances, how can it happen if. Well, he's saying you act like a. Right now. He's the one that's blowing up.

[Xena]

I know, but he's acting like a.

[Caleb Hammer]

But if you, if you, if he's correct in saying you do. When you try to have a financial conversation, I feel like I have to.

[Xena]

Explain it to him like he's a child.

[Benjamin]

I have to put a table in between us when we argue because I'm afraid that you're gonna be ass. What are you talking about? I have to have a escape route. You are a six foot tall woman. Okay, I'm not trying to with that. So, yeah, no, I just let go. And the reason I don't ask questions about the finances when like the 12th Amazon box this week shows up is because. Yeah, I'm not trying to get beat.

[Xena]

Okay? I'm tired of you already.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, tell me, how did these conversations go though? Like, I need to know a bit more.

[Xena]

Literally just sit there and stare at me like he's dumb. And I'm like, do you understand what I'm talking about?

[Benjamin]

Every time I can open My mouth.

[Xena]

And I'm like, we have these bills to pay.

[Benjamin]

And this is pro linebacker TJ Watt. And I'm back with YPB by Abercrombie for another activewear drop.

[Caleb Hammer]

My second co design collection has new.

[Benjamin]

Shorts and tanks that keep up with all my in season workouts. And their new restore collection is a game changer off the field too, because even pro athletes like me need restaurants days. Shop YPB by Abercrombie in the app, online and in stores because your personal best is greater than anything.

[Xena]

He's like, huh? Huh? And I'm like, what the are you doing? Do you even understand what I'm talking about? Half the time I think it goes in one ear, not the other. That's why your head's so big.

[Caleb Hammer]

Is that true? Is that true? You don't listen. You're just sitting there.

[Benjamin]

I do listen, but here's the thing, is that she overreacts to every single. So like, for instance, she sees, oh, we have this bill coming up in three weeks. I don't know how we're gonna pay for it. And it's like, okay, so then I go dig in the collection of that I have, sell a few things, and I'm like, there we go. It's no big deal. But she'll worry up until that point. But that's why we buy like gold, silver, and that's why we keep around is so when the spot price goes up, we sell that shit and get our money back and be able to pay bills when we're not employed.

[Caleb Hammer]

What the. What are you talking about? That is still a volatile market. Even though gold has done quite well, metals have done quite well.

[Benjamin]

Gold's done really well.

[Caleb Hammer]

You have $64,453.81 a debt. Why the are we getting assets? What? Well, because gold does well. It doesn't do better than 30%.

[Benjamin]

No, it doesn't do better than which.

[Caleb Hammer]

Is what the are we talking about? And he also told Colton that you. You say you can't hide any purchases because she's like a bloodhound. Yeah. Why should you have to hide purchases?

[Benjamin]

Well, see, I don't. That's. I just don't even try.

[Caleb Hammer]

That's. Why would you. Well, if you're complaining about not being able to hide purchases, why would. Why should you be hiding purchases?

[Benjamin]

Well, because somebody else.

[Xena]

Because he shouldn't be buying anything because he didn't have a job.

[Benjamin]

Yeah, but like. And I acknowledge that. That's why I didn't even activate my debit card is. What do I need it for if.

[Xena]

I don't still had Apple Pay. You had a PayPal card that was linked to our account, so it's not like you weren't spending.

[Caleb Hammer]

I don't understand why you feel like you would need to hide purchases, though. Like, your complaint is that you're not allowed to hide purchases because she's a butthole. But what the is that? Well, you shouldn't be hiding. Why? You think he. Hi. Does he hide?

[Xena]

Yeah, all the time. He hides everything, actually. He lies about everything all the time.

[Caleb Hammer]

You're a liar. So loser and a liar. Of course. Of course. What's the. What's the lie?

[Xena]

Everything. Like, I swear to God, like, he's gotten tickets and he's like, oh, it's not my fault. They just pull me over.

[Benjamin]

The body cam footage?

[Xena]

Yeah, the body cam film. Yeah, on YouTube.

[Caleb Hammer]

What?

[Xena]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

And what happened?

[Xena]

He was speeding and he tried to tell me that he was like, oh, they just pulled me over for like.

[Benjamin]

It was only 135 and a 70. Wasn't it nice?

[Xena]

Stupid Cole.

[Caleb Hammer]

As a guy who goes fast.

[Xena]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

MKBHD style. I don't go that fast.

[Xena]

I mean, yeah, he lied about the whole thing. And then the body cam footage came out and they're like, all you could see is the cop. And then you just see him fly by. And I was like, are you kidding me? You lied about this?

[Caleb Hammer]

You've also said that he's super into investing, but it always destroys your savings.

[Benjamin]

Sometimes if I come across a good deal for something that I know that can be flipped in the long run, I'll buy it, hold on to it for a month or two, and then sell it.

[Caleb Hammer]

It.

[Xena]

No, you don't hold on to it. You hold on to it forever. And then we're in a bind. You're like, oh, I guess I'll sell it.

[Benjamin]

Well, I mean, yeah. Cuz that's what that is.

[Xena]

For your gold and silver.

[Benjamin]

I'm. I mean, look, you just sold.

[Xena]

First of all, you just sold all your gold and silver. How much did you get for it?

[Benjamin]

500.

[Xena]

No, you didn't. 170.

[Benjamin]

Oh, yeah, that's right. The two pieces I sold. Yeah.

[Xena]

Yeah. That helps so much.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah. Destroy the savings.

[Xena]

He pulls money out of save. Well, we don't really have savings anymore.

[Caleb Hammer]

So if you just save a few pennies, he immediately takes it and tries to turn it into.

[Xena]

Yeah, well, so we had a little bit savings, but he decided he needed a gun.

[Benjamin]

All right.

[Xena]

So he went out and bought a new gun.

[Caleb Hammer]

You said it's because she goes crazy. Yeah, well, actually.

[Xena]

Why.

[Benjamin]

Yes.

[Caleb Hammer]

No.

[Benjamin]

So don't even.

[Xena]

You are.

[Benjamin]

You are nuts.

[Xena]

No, you don't even act like that.

[Benjamin]

Is definitely the reason.

[Xena]

You literally like, oh, we're going out to Dallas. Let me pack my gun.

[Benjamin]

Well, yes, because somebody likes to run their goddamn mouth.

[Caleb Hammer]

Really?

[Benjamin]

Are we gonna talk about, like, whatever? And part of it, not only that, that, like, I hold a security license where I sometimes am able to pick up armed gigs. And to do that you have to furnish your own firearm.

[Xena]

But that's the. Yeah, you're like, oh, I.

[Benjamin]

Not right now. No, you don't, because they're coming.

[Caleb Hammer]

Your house needs money, dude. You weren't working for like six months.

[Benjamin]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

What the is wrong with you? Why not go work, dude? Drop some McFry if necessary.

[Xena]

Oh, no, he said he would never work for food service.

[Caleb Hammer]

What the is wrong with you? We've all put in our time. I did it for like five years or so. The wrong with you put in your time, asshole.

[Benjamin]

Yeah, I mean, I guess, like, I don't know. I'm just not.

[Caleb Hammer]

Bills or bills or bills or bills. It doesn't matter. They don't discriminate. Yeah, you need to get a job. You do now, but you might need to work more because $6,000 net being for the household and DFW, you guys are below the median for sure.

[Xena]

Yeah.

[Benjamin]

I think the plan is to eventually, hopefully get out of dfw.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh. His argument for the gun is that it's one of a kind and he'll earn money on it and sell it or sell it for your future kid or something. What the.

[Benjamin]

Okay, so what the are we on about, dude?

[Caleb Hammer]

So.

[Benjamin]

So, like, look, I had a Glock, right? I sold the Glock, got 700 for it. And then I took the 700 and put it down.

[Caleb Hammer]

On down.

[Benjamin]

Yeah, down. So I put it in layaway that. Because it didn't. It didn't gain interest. I made sure that it didn't gain interest.

[Xena]

Yeah. And then we had to pay another $300 for it.

[Benjamin]

But essentially I got the gun for 750.

[Caleb Hammer]

Are you talking about.

[Benjamin]

And then I had it appraised because it was a. So it had a special serial number. It had some features on it that were really interesting that I hadn't seen before. So I called the company.

[Caleb Hammer]

You guys are dying in debt. You didn't have a job.

[Benjamin]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Still. You just got one and you haven't even started. How is this Even an option that we're even considering.

[Benjamin]

Yeah, it was. It was an impulse purchase.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah. No, your entire life is impulses and now that.

[Benjamin]

Yeah, pretty much.

[Caleb Hammer]

Dude, you do nothing and then you think you can go get a big expensive gun? A special gun. Yeah, you. What is this? Zena, what was your thoughts when this was happening? What did you say? I was like, what happened?

[Xena]

Could have literally used that money for bills.

[Benjamin]

Yeah.

[Xena]

To pay off at least one of my credit cards. And he's like, well, I felt like the gun was necessary, which it wasn't. Cuz what the do you need a gun for? We don't even go anywhere.

[Benjamin]

I think that it's important for every household to own a firearm. We're in Texas.

[Caleb Hammer]

My dad does.

[Xena]

You don't need them.

[Benjamin]

Your dad is also never home.

[Caleb Hammer]

And.

[Xena]

But you know where the guns are? That.

[Benjamin]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

So there's guns there.

[Xena]

Exactly. And he knows where they are. My dad has said that he could use them.

[Caleb Hammer]

You also live in a town of like five people. I assume you've seen one black person and you got you freaked out.

[Xena]

Probably.

[Benjamin]

Hey, listen, I'm Arab. We're cool with the blacks. It's the white people that scared me.

[Caleb Hammer]

But you are as white as it gets.

[Benjamin]

If you could tell the TSA that again, I would really appreciate your last theme.

[Caleb Hammer]

That's it, white dude. When we're walking down the street, no one thinks you're Arab. There's not a single person in this world they see the name on your passport or whatever. That's what they see.

[Xena]

Yeah. And then you bought this while you were unemployed.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, that. Dad does not live with them. You live with dad?

[Xena]

Yes, yes, we moved in with my parents.

[Caleb Hammer]

I'm 31. Oh my. In a cheap ass small town. What the are we doing? What is wrong with you guys?

[Xena]

Well, so it was actually my parents idea that we moved in with him. Every time we're around my brother in law, he's always talking to him like, you gotta get your shit together. My dad's like, why are you doing this?

[Caleb Hammer]

This?

[Xena]

Get your shit together. Even my mom is like, get your shit together to him. Yes.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why the won't you listen to anyone? Do you have no shame?

[Benjamin]

I mean. No, it's. Well, now I'm starting to like. Look, going through the whole thing with getting laid off and doing all that, I. I have been very immature. But I've just decided like, I'm tired of living like this.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, how long was it going while everyone was shitting on him until he was like, okay, I'll.

[Xena]

They're still on him.

[Benjamin]

They're still shitting on him.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why are they shitting now?

[Xena]

Because it like he just finally got a job. So now like the whole time my dad is like, where did you get.

[Caleb Hammer]

And if we know anything about Hispanics, they're probably grinding. Yeah, they're probably working their dick off.

[Benjamin]

Yeah. Well, one of them actually is also unemployed, I think.

[Caleb Hammer]

Does he do things though?

[Xena]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, there you go. You just gamed all night.

[Xena]

You don't do anything. You can't even cook.

[Benjamin]

That is true. I cannot cook.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, I would burn water.

[Xena]

So I have to come home from work that I have to get up to 4am Then I come home and then I make dinner and then I clean the kitchen.

[Caleb Hammer]

Wait, why the would you do anything if you're a house husband?

[Xena]

His mom didn't let him do anything. She cleaned, she cooked, she did everything.

[Caleb Hammer]

Was she like full beekeeper?

[Benjamin]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. So yeah, I thought those ones were.

[Benjamin]

Strict, but no, she was.

[Caleb Hammer]

She was very nice.

[Benjamin]

Not really. So. So when mom and dad weren't at the bar, they felt like guilty.

[Caleb Hammer]

Do they want her to be beekeeper?

[Benjamin]

I don't know.

[Caleb Hammer]

They don't really care.

[Benjamin]

No.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. Well, I mean they're very strict.

[Xena]

I told her from the beginning, like I'm not a housewife.

[Benjamin]

They definitely don't like how she like.

[Xena]

They don't like how like she makes more money than.

[Benjamin]

They don't like how she's doing.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh dude, I wish my girlfriend made more money than me. Then we'd just be rolling around. That's weird. I'll never understand that.

[Benjamin]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

So he like, please make more money. Let me stress less.

[Xena]

Well, they're like traditional.

[Benjamin]

Like dad is 80, dad's 80 to give you an idea. And mom is like 65, so. Oh yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

And how old would. Knowing where they came from. How old was she when they met?

[Benjamin]

She actually was. She's from Florida, so she was in. Yeah, so she was in like her 30s when they met.

[Caleb Hammer]

Met.

[Xena]

Oh, isn't she like Cherokee though?

[Benjamin]

Yeah, she's Cherokee. So she's 100% Cherokee Indian. So I'm like.

[Caleb Hammer]

And then she went beekeeper, so that's why.

[Benjamin]

Must have been a mailman involved or something. Cuz I'm awfully white.

[Caleb Hammer]

That's kind of crazy.

[Benjamin]

She was a model in Florida for a while too. And like. Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

So why'd she do this to herself?

[Benjamin]

Cuz dad has always statistically made a lot of money.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. There's other people that make Money that don't lock you.

[Benjamin]

I mean, like, like dad pretty much controlled the bar scene in the DFW area from like 1985 to 2010.

[Caleb Hammer]

How rich is your dad?

[Xena]

He's not rich at all.

[Caleb Hammer]

Not anymore. So what the. Not anymore. Controlled the bar scene in Detroit? Fort Worth?

[Benjamin]

Well, no, I mean, like, he knowing DFW for like all of DFW, so dad had 10 bars at one point in time.

[Caleb Hammer]

There were probably more than 10 bars in Detroit Fort Worth metropolitan area.

[Benjamin]

No, those were just the ten that dad owned.

[Caleb Hammer]

Owned. Yeah. And.

[Benjamin]

But basically the amount of stuff that he was making over like $3 million a year at one point we had a giant house. Then the IRS came and everything up because he wasn't paying his taxes.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, I don't think they everything up.

[Benjamin]

I think he did well, of course, you know, and I mean. Okay, you know, and I like, he.

[Xena]

Took after him and started his own little business and of course it failed.

[Caleb Hammer]

Wait, you did?

[Benjamin]

Well, I mean, it has a third bar? No, not a bar. I. But so because of my connections in the tactical community. I mean.

[Caleb Hammer]

In the what?

[Benjamin]

Okay, I knew that this was going to be a.

[Caleb Hammer]

In the what community?

[Benjamin]

It's like in the tactical community.

[Caleb Hammer]

What the is that?

[Benjamin]

So like Navy SEALs, some people. I've sold my products to Navy SEALs and forces.

[Caleb Hammer]

I don't know what any of this is.

[Benjamin]

I. I feel like I could.

[Xena]

Yeah, but the thing is, is that he doesn't actually do it. I do all the work.

[Benjamin]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

What. What are you talking about? Dude, you're. You are doing what your dad did. Yeah, except you're not actually going and making any money from it. You're using her in every way whatsoever and making her do everything. But you're not going and making bread, which at least somewhat offsets it. You just do nothing.

[Benjamin]

You game?

[Caleb Hammer]

And she does all the work. She makes the jewelry. Whatever the. This is. What the is wrong with you, dude? This makes no sense. I don't get it. What is even the jewelry? Do we have one? Is there an example? You have a picture?

[Benjamin]

I can show you pictures.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, show me a picture. What the are we making? So what is. It's a military men. They're buying jewelry. Okay.

[Xena]

So it looks like it's just those little butt buddies.

[Benjamin]

So it's like a. They're not really.

[Caleb Hammer]

How did you make these friends?

[Benjamin]

I'll plead the fifth on that one. There's.

[Caleb Hammer]

Huh.

[Benjamin]

There's one right there. So basically they're made out of technora, Kevlar cord The cord can cut through PVC pipe, it can cut through restraints. The magnets can be repeated.

[Caleb Hammer]

Necklaces that these military men are purchasing. What the are we talking about?

[Benjamin]

Right? So they look that. That's the whole idea behind them though. And it.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, they look very gay.

[Benjamin]

Have you heard of Ed Calderon?

[Caleb Hammer]

Huh?

[Benjamin]

Have you heard of Ed Calderon?

[Xena]

Nobody has ever heard of him.

[Benjamin]

No, he was.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, I have not.

[Benjamin]

Okay.

[Caleb Hammer]

He was on what?

[Benjamin]

He was on the Joe Rogan show. Ed is a counter abduction specialist from Tijuana and I kind of got some of the ideas from him to start making these.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, gay necklaces.

[Benjamin]

Well, because. Because the whole idea is, is if you have a handcuff key or the bat on the back of one or something like that, you get stopped by dudes that want to you up. They take you. They don't normally take your jewelry, right? They. They take all of the other out of your pockets. Knives, dude.

[Caleb Hammer]

Your ancestors used to conquer Spain. You're making gay necklaces.

[Benjamin]

I, I mean, he's not making them.

[Xena]

I'm making.

[Caleb Hammer]

That's true. You're making your woman.

[Benjamin]

You know, if I have an extra one laying around, I'll send you one to the.

[Caleb Hammer]

The.

[Benjamin]

To the shop so you can put up with your.

[Xena]

Nobody wants.

[Benjamin]

So you can put up with your labu.

[Caleb Hammer]

Even she says nobody wants it.

[Xena]

I mean, yeah, I mean there's people that want it, but like normal people don't want it.

[Caleb Hammer]

Who are these people?

[Xena]

They're just like. I don't know, they like play with knives and guns and.

[Caleb Hammer]

Guns can be fun. But I don't understand why they want to be like a. Hey, look, I'm a bottom type of neck.

[Xena]

It's like they, they're like. It's a rosary. And I'm like, I think it's kind of gay. Gay.

[Caleb Hammer]

It's good. And we love the gays.

[Xena]

We do. We love the gays.

[Caleb Hammer]

But we have a gay right here and we love them.

[Xena]

I know.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah.

[Benjamin]

So I like the token, but it is very gay. I mean. Well, I think part of it is, is that it's not supposed to look threatening. Right. So the whole.

[Caleb Hammer]

I'll confirm that.

[Benjamin]

So the whole idea. So the whole idea is, is that the cordage that's on that. I actually have another video on that page that I will show you later. Where. Let me show you something. I hate having to explain it because.

[Xena]

No, no, no. Maybe something doesn't hate explaining it.

[Caleb Hammer]

He.

[Xena]

If you give him a chance to explain it it. He will tell you all about it.

[Caleb Hammer]

I. You're also not the one who makes it.

[Benjamin]

Well, I mean in the beginning I did.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why'd you stop? You do nothing.

[Xena]

Even in the beginning you're like, I need you to do it cuz you're so much faster.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why you stop? Why'd you stop?

[Xena]

Because he could do nothing.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, what is he game?

[Xena]

What is it? Call of Duty?

[Benjamin]

No, I don't really. I play like vintage games so I download free.

[Xena]

I actually don't know what.

[Caleb Hammer]

All night you're playing vintage video games?

[Benjamin]

Yeah, so I download like old Game Boy games.

[Xena]

What?

[Benjamin]

Let me think. I just got done playing Mother three, which is a Japanese.

[Caleb Hammer]

So all day she's grinding. You're playing Mother 3?

[Benjamin]

Yeah, downloading game Boy games. I just played the suffering on PlayStation 2. That was fun.

[Hammer Elite Announcer]

You came for the finances. But what if you could have more? Welcome to Hammer Elite. YouTube's number one membership. Get even more exclusive members audits your time 100%. But juicy post shows you were doing.

[Caleb Hammer]

This behind his back. One of them.

[Benjamin]

I've actually never seen this photo.

[Hammer Elite Announcer]

Spicy audit breakdowns.

[Caleb Hammer]

We still don't film with people like that. Like he is a next level audit updates.

[Xena]

I'm seeing a therapist now. Personally or romantically, or both.

[Hammer Elite Announcer]

Behind the scenes moments and budget buddy surprise prizes. And for this month only, you can get all of this for free. Join with the link in the pin comment or description below. Submit proof of purchase@hammer elite.com and we will reimburse you for your first month with a $10 digital gift card that can be spent anywhere. In most countries you have no idea what you're in for.

[Caleb Hammer]

Starbucks is bull and a waste of money and you already know that by making your coffee at home and investing the rest. So now you need to do that with your energy drink as well. Make Gamer subs at home for just 40 cents a serving. And honestly, it literally tastes better. And we proved this accidentally via a blind taste test in our Hammer Elite show Fat and Fatter. The number one ranked energy drink is Gate Sauce.

[Benjamin]

Literally the cherry flavor is is insane.

[Caleb Hammer]

Listen, you can also get free samples to see if you like it. Or 10% off your order at gamer subs gg or click that link in the description below. Type in code Caleb, what is we.

[Xena]

Have to pay for?

[Caleb Hammer]

Like does he have an extra gaming room?

[Xena]

No, no, dude sits on the couch.

[Caleb Hammer]

What? Where? In the living room? Yeah, in the living room where everyone else in the house that everyone else lives in. No wonder they hate you.

[Xena]

Well, we have our own living room.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, but they see you do this all day. Not providing for their sister, not providing for their daughter. What the. Of course they hate you. What? You are pathetic.

[Benjamin]

Sure.

[Caleb Hammer]

I mean, what are your military bros think of you?

[Xena]

They think he's the coolest person in the world.

[Caleb Hammer]

No way possible. How do they think that?

[Xena]

Because he's a bullshitter.

[Benjamin]

Well, that.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why do growing businesses love working in Slack?

[Benjamin]

Let's ask Christia.

[Xena]

Ari bikes Running things in Slack saves me so much time.

[Caleb Hammer]

AI summaries save 97 minutes per week. What say you, Rocks from Gosney? Slack helps us build community.

[Xena]

It helps us build connection.

[Caleb Hammer]

Your partners, vendors and customers all in one place.

[Benjamin]

Take us on home.

[Caleb Hammer]

Ashley from Caraway.

[Xena]

If we didn't have Slack tomorrow, I would explode.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, let's not let that happen.

[Benjamin]

Visit slack.com podcast to get 50% off Slack business. Plus that. I've kept my identity pretty separate from that. That.

[Caleb Hammer]

What identity? What are you talking about? Identity?

[Benjamin]

So like, okay, like you don't have it.

[Caleb Hammer]

Your identity is playing mama 3 or whatever.

[Benjamin]

So I like, I don't even know what that is. So I like kept my private, my personal life private because. What personal life? So like they don't know anything about my private life at all when I sell that stuff because I don't really like, I didn't even really want to come do this. I don't like to put arts.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why the are you here?

[Xena]

Because I forced him to too.

[Caleb Hammer]

Good, good, good. We like, you know, big Zena fans here.

[Benjamin]

I. I just kind of. I'm a very private person.

[Xena]

No, you're not. You'll talk about yourself all the time.

[Benjamin]

Brick wall. But you will.

[Xena]

You never shut up.

[Caleb Hammer]

So what is this? So you're not private, you're just.

[Benjamin]

I just don't like people knowing certain.

[Caleb Hammer]

Things yet you're telling me everything without me barely even asking you.

[Benjamin]

That was what was agreed upon.

[Caleb Hammer]

It is a podcast.

[Benjamin]

That's what we agreed upon. Is what's the point of me coming on if I'm not all of the information immediately.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, I gotta get some of these finances. I gotta get into this. But I'm. I'm very nervous of how your guys situation works. And just your existence in this relationships makes me nervous. Sort of the future of this. Well, come on, you haven't worked. You just got a job. And it's not much for the Dallas area. Yeah, and honestly you don't make much for the Dallas area either. Luckily we're in a smaller town and you guys must not have much overhead because So I don't even understand how we're struggling if we're living at home. Home. And yet going out to eat. What did we spend last month as a household, do we think?

[Benjamin]

I don't even want to know, dude.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, guess.

[Benjamin]

20 grand.

[Caleb Hammer]

I take a guess.

[Xena]

Okay. He's retarded.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, you're right. That GED will be very difficult.

[Benjamin]

Mama, Mama said the TV was the devil.

[Xena]

Yeah, like I said, he doesn't know anything about our finances.

[Caleb Hammer]

20 grand?

[Xena]

You know, I think like, maybe like 7,000. I don't know, like, it was 800.

[Caleb Hammer]

Which is insane for a house that makes no money because you didn't even have this job yet. 7,000. You don't even net with him. Bringing in money is 6,000amonth once he starts his job. Both of you combined 7,000.

[Xena]

I have no idea.

[Benjamin]

So apparently she don't know numbers either.

[Caleb Hammer]

Was $2,000 all combined at a minimum. And there's some unknowns that we'll go through, but. What the. What the. I mean, you were spending last month on the income that came in. Of that 3,000, 263% went to minimum, and it's probably closer to 70. 75, 80. Okay, what do we think the combined household financial score is? 0 to 10. 0 being the worst, 10 being the best. What do we think it is, guys?

[Benjamin]

I think a three.

[Xena]

I think a zero.

[Caleb Hammer]

All right. If you want your Hammer Financial score, see where you stand in the world of finances by taking the free assessment@caleb hammer.com. see what you need to do to improve your life or where you're already doing good or where you just doing horrible. It's free. Kay.com and if you don't want to be like a guest who ends up on the show, you'll actually know your numbers. If you download the dollar wise budgeting app, there's a free trial to see if you like it. And if you do, sign up for the annual version because it saves a lot of money. And it comes with this special little bonus where I sign my personal budget friendly cookbook and mail it directly to you. Only exists for a couple more months, then it's gone forever towards the beginning of 2026, which this honestly might even be uploaded at that point. So it was like, like our backlog. So big these days. Who knows? So, yeah, check that out. Dollar wise app. All the links are in the description below. Yeah, we got to get into this. Okay, carmax, first of all, carmax, horrible choice, because this is. Everything's overpriced this is. This is. It's brutal. No negotiating. It's just bad.

[Benjamin]

I got yelled at by her, by the way, for saying that that price was.

[Caleb Hammer]

And that we needed for that and.

[Benjamin]

That we needed to negotiate. And then she got negotiated.

[Xena]

We don't negotiate well.

[Benjamin]

And that's when I told her we probably should. And also, I didn't like the salesman. Like I the sale.

[Xena]

There was nothing wrong. The sal was super, dude. He tried super.

[Benjamin]

That smelled like cigarettes. And you were like, okay, yeah, no, I didn't.

[Xena]

I detail it afterwards. No, I mean, he did say that they would detail it for free to get.

[Benjamin]

You don't ever trust a. A used car salesman to do something after you buy the car.

[Caleb Hammer]

That.

[Xena]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

So what happened?

[Xena]

What you. Yeah, what, what happened? He wrecked my car.

[Benjamin]

I didn't rec.

[Xena]

How many accidents now?

[Benjamin]

All right, A teenager hit me when I was driving her car.

[Xena]

I was minding my own business.

[Benjamin]

Hold on.

[Caleb Hammer]

Do we have the. Do we have. Now that we know he lies about. Do we have the police cam of that?

[Benjamin]

Yes, we have the police report.

[Caleb Hammer]

Cctv.

[Benjamin]

We have the police report.

[Xena]

I mean, the insurance found the other driver at fault, so I'm assuming that's correct.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, which means it probably covered your car then.

[Xena]

Yeah, yeah, it did, but I only have $1,400 left to pay on my car.

[Caleb Hammer]

But did it not cover the value of the car?

[Xena]

No, it did. Okay, but I almost was free of a car payment.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, I know, but you could roll that value into a small car balance because what did they give you? What did insurance give you?

[Xena]

6,000.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, and that wipes out 1500. There you go. 5,000 to put down on a 10,000. Giving you a 5,000 loan. Yeah, that sucks. But that's not that bad. So what. But what was the issue? Because. Oh, because we owe 26,115. So it's not like we did. We did the right thing anyway. By any means. What the is this? This what happened?

[Benjamin]

I didn't pick the car. I had nothing to do with buying that car. That's all.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why did it have to be this car?

[Xena]

Cuz I wanted a car that was going to last a long time.

[Caleb Hammer]

That could be any car. Not necessarily, but get a car looked at.

[Xena]

Yeah, yeah. Well, my other car lasted me a long time until he wrecked it.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, there he goes. So you know, you didn't eat this car?

[Benjamin]

I didn't wreck it. Some chopped ass teenager that was playing like Fetty Wap or whatever merged into my lane when I wasn't Looking and slammed into me when he was. All right. So first of all, if you could tell me how it's my fault that I'm in the middle of a lane and this motherf er hits me this way by merging into me when I am very clearly there without fucking using a signal or anything. So bad the cop even came out and was like, oh, dude, this is open and shut. He's 100% at fault, filled out the police report and then fucking lady, his mom shows up who wasn't even there and was like, you hit him. This was injustice, bull, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. All this other. Only to come to find out that her son, her chopped ass Edgar looking vector from Despicable Me haircut ran into me. So not my fault. Stop saying I wrecked your car. Some chopped ass teenager wrecked your car.

[Caleb Hammer]

Listening to Fetty walk. Yeah. All right, we need to get Tyler in here and get down. Gentlemen. Thank you. He got in a car crash and he's very upset that they're playing Fetty walk up and but called them an Edgar, who do you hate more here? He bought guns because of. Well, no, he admitted.

[Benjamin]

No, we did not admit that. I bought guns because of. I bought guns because my crazy ass wife has nothing to do with either of these people here.

[Caleb Hammer]

Who do we hate more?

[Benjamin]

I think the one in the middle.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, no, no option. He has the haircut of the hair of the car. Nothing to do with the air the guns for that.

[Benjamin]

And I mean, honestly, I don't have.

[Caleb Hammer]

Problem with either of you.

[Benjamin]

My problem is with you.

[Xena]

Why?

[Caleb Hammer]

Why? I don't know.

[Benjamin]

You've been beating my ass up the whole time.

[Caleb Hammer]

We all do.

[Benjamin]

I mean, no, no, no offense. You know what, listen, it has nothing to do. I'm sure you're both wonderful.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, thank you.

[Benjamin]

And that was up.

[Caleb Hammer]

What?

[Benjamin]

Oh, okay, so you bring in like the two ends of the stereotypes he saw.

[Caleb Hammer]

Hold on, hold on, hold on, bro. I'm Arab. I'm not white. White.

[Benjamin]

I'm not going to lie.

[Caleb Hammer]

Hold on. I have all the stereotypes in this office. Thank you.

[Benjamin]

Of course.

[Caleb Hammer]

Let's. Thank you.

[Benjamin]

Can gerrymander toing bring him back in.

[Caleb Hammer]

To tip of yes.

[Benjamin]

Diversity hires dei.

[Caleb Hammer]

Whoa, whoa. That's crazy. If you want your. If you want your Hammer racist score, get it@caleb hammer.com Racist. See where you stand in the world of racism whether you need to be more racist or less racist. That is Caleb hammer.com racing assist. So, okay, you didn't want to get this car.

[Xena]

I didn't then why the.

[Caleb Hammer]

Did we get it or. You said he's crashing multiple cars.

[Xena]

No, no, he crashed my car multiple times.

[Benjamin]

I did hit a park.

[Caleb Hammer]

Dude, what are we doing?

[Xena]

Being a dumbass.

[Benjamin]

All right, so one one was definitely my fault, I'll admit to that.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, what you told us earlier you're going 130.

[Benjamin]

Well that's not in her confusion or whatever.

[Xena]

Do you leave my car?

[Benjamin]

That car was.

[Caleb Hammer]

But we know you drive insane. I mean, I'm not saying you go 100.

[Benjamin]

I mean I. Yeah, I did get pulled over going 165 the other day by a state trooper.

[Caleb Hammer]

Were you not arrested for that?

[Benjamin]

No, I got a warning.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, that's crazy.

[Benjamin]

I have the warning in the car too.

[Caleb Hammer]

That's crazy.

[Benjamin]

I do not speed like that. If there's other people on the road.

[Caleb Hammer]

You got pulled over by a state trooper. There were other people on the see him. Yeah, but that means there were other people around.

[Benjamin]

No, there wasn't.

[Caleb Hammer]

He was.

[Benjamin]

Well right.

[Caleb Hammer]

But if he's hit.

[Benjamin]

All right, first of all those use.

[Xena]

Like the middle of the day. Yeah. So yeah, people were around.

[Benjamin]

No, there was nobody around.

[Xena]

Yes there were because.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah.

[Benjamin]

Open stretch of highway on the Tower Road.

[Caleb Hammer]

Texas toll road. No one around you always.

[Benjamin]

All right, so there were some people around. But at the same time like I.

[Xena]

Again, I can drop that though.

[Caleb Hammer]

So it's A Ford Edge 2022, you know, $26,115 14 interest rate. What the are we doing, guys?

[Benjamin]

You're gonna be pissed at mine.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh for sake. With a minimum monthly payment of 534.81. What are we doing?

[Benjamin]

What are we doing?

[Xena]

Okay, so the interest rate was going to be 19 but my D for me. So he doesn't have the best credit either. So that's why we got 13%. But I wanted a good reliable car that was going to last.

[Caleb Hammer]

Reliable car. And you got a Ford. Get a Toyota.

[Benjamin]

Thank you.

[Xena]

I couldn't find a Toyota within my price range.

[Caleb Hammer]

You went to Carmax? You couldn't. Like everything's out of any reasonable range regardless. Cuz they're all overpriced. What do you think it's worth?

[Xena]

Like 20,000?

[Caleb Hammer]

18 I was going to say.

[Benjamin]

Yeah, it's already depreciated.

[Caleb Hammer]

We're seeing 18. Oh yeah. I mean Edmunds is appraising at 18,123 and we find them to be the most reliable source for valuing cars better. So that's what we use now. You agree?

[Benjamin]

Yeah, I agree. I've used Them in the past.

[Caleb Hammer]

Exactly. Edmonds is great. So that's what we started using now. So 18,000.

[Benjamin]

Which I told you you.

[Caleb Hammer]

Don'T have equity to trade in. I mean that's a good place for equity trade ins. But it's not right now because you don't have it.

[Xena]

Yeah, and I put 3,000 down on it.

[Caleb Hammer]

But you got 5,000 for the car.

[Xena]

I gave my dad.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, you got 7,000. But 5,000 afterwards. Yeah, after the paying off the last.

[Xena]

What the. I gave my dad a th000.

[Caleb Hammer]

How many people live in this house by the way? Four.

[Xena]

Four what?

[Caleb Hammer]

I thought you said sibs. You got siblings?

[Xena]

No, they're all married.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, they're all married and you guys are married?

[Benjamin]

Yeah, but they. But they like live in their.

[Caleb Hammer]

They're adults.

[Benjamin]

They're adults.

[Xena]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

What do I. Past due? No. Current amount due. Oh, woo. Got nervous. Western funding. What is is this?

[Benjamin]

That's my car.

[Caleb Hammer]

What is your car?

[Benjamin]

Giant money pit.

[Caleb Hammer]

What kind of car?

[Benjamin]

Volkswagen GTI Autobond. It's a fast car. It's a turbo car. Little.

[Caleb Hammer]

What's it? 0 to 60?

[Benjamin]

2.3 seconds on gravel.

[Caleb Hammer]

It's ugly as on gravel.

[Benjamin]

Yeah. That's the only place I've tested it.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay.

[Benjamin]

I mean it's a fast car. It's a piece of.

[Caleb Hammer]

It's the first time someone's come in and actually is able to.

[Benjamin]

Yeah, that's why I was talking about.

[Caleb Hammer]

Your test beat my. Well, yeah, I'm 2.5.

[Benjamin]

You know, I mean we're close enough.

[Caleb Hammer]

We're close. Well, you owe $17,479 on this death trap with a minimum lethal payment of $493.47. And what is this interest rate? Cuz you said it's horrible.

[Benjamin]

It's stupid. 19.

[Caleb Hammer]

What are we doing? Why? When did you get this and why.

[Benjamin]

So why was he driving your car?

[Caleb Hammer]

And bro, he has this.

[Benjamin]

So here's what happens.

[Xena]

Cuz his car was in the shop.

[Benjamin]

So I had. So I had a Cadillac.

[Xena]

Oh, this story is so fun.

[Caleb Hammer]

You have a sticker on it that says only gay cops pull me over. And they didn't give you a T ticket?

[Benjamin]

No.

[Caleb Hammer]

Maybe they found it funny.

[Benjamin]

I had a Cadillac, wasn't paying attention one day, was speeding, came around a corner, saw a bunch of brake lights. Too late, rear ended. Somebody totaled the Cadillac. So after I totaled the Cadillac, which was also a performance car, I went and dad insisted again that we go to this one Motor.

[Caleb Hammer]

Is it here?

[Benjamin]

No, it's not here. I didn't drive.

[Caleb Hammer]

What the.

[Benjamin]

I didn't drive it here.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, but it's an interesting topic. We could have taken a look at it.

[Benjamin]

I mean, well, I wasn't sure it was going to make it up here. That's what the.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, so you owe an 18% interest rate loan with $500 a month. $17,479 balance on a car. You don't even know if it'll make it here.

[Benjamin]

Well, okay, so we've had it. And look, dude, this was the stupidest decision I ever made, but my dad was really pushing for me to get this particular car. I wanted to go. She wanted to go look other places. I wanted to go look other places. But dad was like, no.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why did we give a. About this guy? Because you've already decided he was bad.

[Benjamin]

It took. Well, it took. Took like. It took a big.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why did he want this?

[Benjamin]

Because, okay, my parents, like, both of them drive Mercedes they can't afford, okay? Like they're drowning in debt because dad used to be rich. And so it's the opulence thing, right? Dad was like, no, son, I just.

[Caleb Hammer]

Looked up a picture. It doesn't even look that cool.

[Benjamin]

But, dad, it's not. And I actually kind of quite.

[Xena]

No, hold on. Because you absolutely wanted this car.

[Benjamin]

I quite like it.

[Xena]

Yeah. He was like, I want a gti.

[Caleb Hammer]

There we go. That sounds like the real reason.

[Benjamin]

But we only had. Well, we had two options. It was either a Buickless Saber, which would have been a better choice, or.

[Caleb Hammer]

There'S a lot more cars actually out there.

[Benjamin]

But dad. But dad was like, you need to go to this one place. And if you do not go to this one place, I do not care what dad says.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay?

[Benjamin]

Look, I'm a piece of. Like, we've acknowledged that. Right? And so, like, one of the only things in this world that gives me peace is speed. And I don't know how to.

[Caleb Hammer]

You have seven escape and evasion incidents on your record.

[Benjamin]

I. Not anymore. Seven.

[Caleb Hammer]

Ever. Not anymore. That's insanity.

[Benjamin]

I. Yeah. I mean, look, if you know they can't catch you, what's the point?

[Caleb Hammer]

They have no.

[Benjamin]

Okay, so the only reason they caught me. And first of all, that was when I had my motorcycle. So I had a Suzuki high.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, my gosh. How you're alive. I have no idea. Also, by the way, you have ne you like your equity position according to Edmonds is literally 7,000.

[Benjamin]

Yeah, that, like, I should have never bought that.

[Caleb Hammer]

You have no equity. You're underwater by 10,000?

[Benjamin]

Yeah. It's stupid.

[Caleb Hammer]

I. Oh, my God. You didn't know that?

[Xena]

No, he. You know what? No, he said that, like, his car was worth, like 13,000. So I was like, okay, maybe like 5,000, but to find out that it's only worth $7,000 after we put, well.

[Benjamin]

10 grand in parts, in six months, we've owned it.

[Caleb Hammer]

Income tax for 2021. Yeah. For all 2022 offer at 4:32 and not one. But for the last three years. Who's owing income tax?

[Xena]

We both are.

[Benjamin]

Whoa, hey.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, for once, I'm not the target here.

[Benjamin]

There's another sitting at this table.

[Caleb Hammer]

There we go.

[Xena]

No, hold on. That's for both of us. That is for both of us. Actually, you don't get enough taxes taken out because you don't know how to fill out your W2.

[Caleb Hammer]

Wait, so that would be on you then?

[Benjamin]

No, no.

[Xena]

I mean, I think it's on both of us.

[Benjamin]

Obviously, this might be an equal blame one that.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, do you put enough aside? No.

[Xena]

No.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, then what the you doing? Why don't either of you.

[Xena]

Well, this year I had to go tax exempt because I wasn't making enough to cover our bills. So I know for next year, we're definitely gonna owe.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, this is a bill. Your taxes are a bill. You don't get to choose paying taxes.

[Xena]

I've never had to pay into taxes. So when it started, I was like, I can't pay this. And so it's just progressed over each year.

[Caleb Hammer]

What the are you doing? Yeah, you owe taxes. Taxes to the federal government of $2,207.61. That's over the course of three years total. Are you on a payment plan yet? Yes.

[Xena]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

What's the monthly payment?

[Xena]

$100.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, for sake. That's going to take forever. And interest and fees and bullshit. Usually their Fed rate, plus 2, 3. So what are they at? 7, 8, 9%? Something like that?

[Xena]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

What a mess. Easy pay leasing. What is this?

[Xena]

That? Is this Car repair years. We had to finance it because I couldn't afford it.

[Benjamin]

Not happy about it either.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why'd you get into this car? Oh, we already went over it.

[Benjamin]

So when I got.

[Caleb Hammer]

What a stupid thing. Why didn't you just give up, start over, repo. Get it?

[Benjamin]

What did I tell you? He was gonna say?

[Xena]

Then what are you gonna drive?

[Benjamin]

Because I have said for the whole.

[Caleb Hammer]

I agree. I would have done that in the past and then try to figure out.

[Benjamin]

A situation like, dude, I've told her many times, we just Need.

[Caleb Hammer]

You're also past due on it, so.

[Benjamin]

No, we're not.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yes, you are.

[Xena]

Yeah, it's by like. It's like I have to figure out what bills I can pay because I'm having to pay like $177 for a car repair every two weeks for you.

[Caleb Hammer]

You're not going to making money. What are you complaining about? I mean, how can we pay bills if we don't make money? When you sat on your ass, played video games all night mama3 all night fair.

[Xena]

I feel like you don't have any room to talk because you don't even know our finances.

[Caleb Hammer]

Actually be here like you drag. What are we doing then? I understand why you wanted him to. Come on. But if he doesn't want to be here and he doesn't give a F, then you're never going to make it. It's not that I.

[Benjamin]

It's not that I don't give a. It's just like I don't have answers to all this.

[Xena]

Well, we're here because I'm hoping he will realize that he needs to get his shit together, otherwise our marriage isn't going to work.

[Caleb Hammer]

I agree. What's the ultimatum? Because there should be.

[Xena]

Like, he needs to get his shit together, otherwise, what does that look like.

[Caleb Hammer]

In by one when, like hopefully within.

[Xena]

The next year you get your shit together because like, we want to start a family. But starting a business can seem like a daunting task unless you have a partner like Shopify. They have the tools you need to.

[Caleb Hammer]

Start and grow your business.

[Xena]

From designing a website to marketing to selling and beyond. Shopify can help with everything you need. There's a reason millions of companies like Mattel, Heinz and Allbirds continue to trust and use them. With Shopify on your side, turn your big business idea into sign up for.

[Caleb Hammer]

Your $1 per month [e-mail] special offer.

[Xena]

Obviously we can't.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, what does shit together look like by end of 2026? What does this need to look like for the marriage to continue? Because that is actually valid. Not out of love, but out of. She doesn't want you dragging her down the rest of her life.

[Benjamin]

And that is fair and I can understand that.

[Caleb Hammer]

So what is the ultimatum?

[Xena]

Divorce.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, no, no. What do the finances need to look like? What does he need? Need to. What does it. What does it need to look like? What does what he does degree brain.

[Xena]

He needs to understand our finances. He needs to realize that he needs to work harder to get a better job.

[Caleb Hammer]

But what does he have to do what does it need to look like? What does he need to commit to?

[Benjamin]

Go to school? Like what do you want me to do?

[Xena]

Yes.

[Benjamin]

All right, that's what I told you to do.

[Caleb Hammer]

School for what though? Like there's, that's, that's very broad.

[Xena]

Like I want him to figure out what he wants to do with his life. He's 31.

[Caleb Hammer]

I agree. You need to figure out what you're doing. Like what the. You, you have nothing. What are your interests? Dude? What are your interests?

[Benjamin]

I mean I'm really, really good with electronics and vehicles.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, then do something in it all. Or do be automotive. Be a technician.

[Benjamin]

Dude, I have a buddy that just went to school for welding and he makes the same amount as I do without a degree. I guess he's a shitty welder, but.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, I don't know. I can't speak for welding, but I do know that in the car industry if you're actually working for a successful business, you can do well.

[Benjamin]

I mean I would love to do automotive or it. I like do something.

[Caleb Hammer]

Dude. Why? Why not? You are, you know. Okay, because that's what he selected. So he knows what he wants to do. Then do it.

[Benjamin]

But I mean school. He's going to change money. Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

You can get student loans in your position.

[Benjamin]

But I thought student loans were bad. Caleb.

[Caleb Hammer]

What?

[Benjamin]

Every time I watch this show with.

[Caleb Hammer]

A very and you haven't watched and you're a moron, it is debt. What is bad is borrowing for bullshit. What is bad is borrowing for a bullshit degree. Borrowing to go to a college just for the sports team. Borrowing to spend on things like cars and stuff, which many people do with their student loans. If you are going to trade school and you are getting some student loans which might not be subsidized but some student loans from the federal government which I think you would qualify for, you'd be fine if it has a return on investment. Wanna know a dirty little secret? And no, I'm not starting an Only you're not broke because you suck with money. You just can't see where it's going. If your bank account is empty at the end of every month, that is not bad luck. That is bad tracking. And it's exactly why I use dollarwise. It shows you exactly where your money's going every single month. Spending, subscriptions and savings all in one simple dashboard. Everything you need and nothing you don't. And when you download Dollar Wise today you'll get to try it for free plus three months for just $9.99cents so you can finally take control and see what your money's been doing behind your back. Click below to get started. It's a win win. You get money and I get money. These are called affiliates and you get that sweet, sweet cash for signing up for amazing products. The first one is Chime. This is a checking account that I personally use and you get up to a 350 bonus with a new Chime checking account and earn up to 3.5% APY on your savings. And second, my investing app of choice these days is Webull and get a 2% match on all of your money that you transfer over. And finally sign up for automated investing with acorns. Typically the sign up bonus is only five bucks, but with my link you get $20. Ladies and gentlemen, gents. You get money, I get money. Enjoy. Links are in the description below.

[Benjamin]

I guess I just haven't like. I've always thought it would be like unobtainable based on our financial situation.

[Caleb Hammer]

The. The general rule is never borrow more than you'll get in the first year of income based on the job you get from your degree.

[Benjamin]

Right. I, I mean, I would love to be like a systems manager or something. Not have to deal with people.

[Caleb Hammer]

Do it. Will he do it?

[Xena]

Probably not.

[Benjamin]

Let's make a bet. You like to make bets, right?

[Caleb Hammer]

Make a bet with her. She's betting she'll divorce you. Okay.

[Xena]

I literally, we had a bet like a while ago that I would let him get a motorcycle if he got a good paying job.

[Caleb Hammer]

It was a good paying job.

[Xena]

Like more than me.

[Benjamin]

Like 30 an hour.

[Caleb Hammer]

So school needs to start by, let's say, summer, summer, fall at the latest. That should be the ultimatum. And he needs to complete school. That is also the ultimatum.

[Benjamin]

Okay, but if I complete school.

[Caleb Hammer]

School. It might be a certification, it might be college, it might be trade school, depending on what you're trying to do. But.

[Benjamin]

Yes, but let's make this interesting. If I.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, I don't give a. You're literally fighting for your marriage. That should be interesting enough, right?

[Benjamin]

But also, I think it would be fun that if.

[Caleb Hammer]

I don't care what you think, I.

[Benjamin]

Just want you to get in the.

[Caleb Hammer]

Front seat of the car with me. I don't know. I would never.

[Xena]

Nobody wants to do that.

[Caleb Hammer]

Come on. That is the last. I am scared.

[Benjamin]

Don't be scared.

[Caleb Hammer]

That is a rational fear.

[Xena]

I'm scared. I don't let them drive in anywhere.

[Caleb Hammer]

You drove down here?

[Xena]

Yeah, I drive everywhere.

[Benjamin]

I'm not allowed to drive.

[Caleb Hammer]

That is what is. Well, your past due on this. What is the overall balance? Because I don't even know that.

[Benjamin]

I think it's like 3000.

[Xena]

No, it was. So it's originally 2500, but if we don't pay it off within the 90 days, it adds.

[Caleb Hammer]

When was this?

[Xena]

October. Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

So 90 days is imminent.

[Xena]

Yep, December 2nd.

[Caleb Hammer]

And what will the balance be then?

[Xena]

It will add 3,000.

[Caleb Hammer]

It'll more than double.

[Xena]

Yeah, it's one of those predatory loans that you chose.

[Caleb Hammer]

We didn't really have a choice. You have a choice to let this car just die because it's going to cost you money forever.

[Benjamin]

But I know.

[Caleb Hammer]

So. I thought you said you can fix cars.

[Benjamin]

I mean, you can, but you can't fix a blown turbo in your garage. Dude.

[Xena]

Like that wasn't even further for the turbo.

[Benjamin]

And you can't fix like a king block seat issue. You can't fix a light. No, this car is a piece of shit.

[Caleb Hammer]

So is it 164 oh06 every other week?

[Xena]

No, it's like one now. I think it's like 177.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, yeah, probably fees being added.

[Xena]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. 1 64.06 times two. So every month it's 3. 2812. Listen, I'm a little confused. If we have to pay off 2500 in 90 days, why are we passing due on the most critical debt of all. Because it'll more than double in about a month from now.

[Xena]

Because I didn't have the money for it.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, because he wasn't working. But we still spent 2000 hours on bullshit minimum.

[Xena]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

So wait, what are we talking about? I think 2,500 minimum actually. So what are we talking about? Like few you did have money. Who's spending? Who's the spender?

[Benjamin]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

So few there was money to actually pay.

[Benjamin]

This off is so quiet now you're talking all that shit earlier.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, yeah. Your spending in one month could have paid this entire thing off.

[Xena]

Yeah, well, some of it wasn't.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh no. Let's pull up the Amazon. No, no, no, no, no, no. Miscellaneous. Miscellaneous. And going out to eat was 2,500 total Amazon list. Miscellaneous. $1,200 $218.60 plus $804.17 for going out to eat. So bullshit at a literal minimum. Literal minimum right now, now is $2022.77 at a literal minimum is bullshit spending. But there's thousands of unaccounted for. That we don't know yet. Unknown. Shopping is 642 and an additional 500 that we do not. We're not able able to allocate an additional 1,100. Say Amazon. Sure. Let me see the Amazon payment revision for half this for amazing grains for.

[Xena]

Those are dog's food things of cheese sticks.

[Caleb Hammer]

I think we got barn coming in.

[Xena]

That's his cord dog harness.

[Caleb Hammer]

I'm sure we didn't have one. Erase dry erase markers. That's probably not needed. Same with a whiteboard. We don't need that to survive.

[Xena]

I've got it for work.

[Caleb Hammer]

Peppermint pearl foaming gel. I don't know but work off. Have them get something good molecules hydrating facial gel. How many do we need? Good molecules. Good molecules. Good molecules. We got like a thousand different good molecule things.

[Xena]

Skincare.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, but you got like a thousand different things.

[Xena]

No, I didn't.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yes you did. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 and one day. Different things. When we're literally trying to prevent adapt from more than doubling picture frame. Didn't need to survive. That one was me gift card in a box. We did not need that to survive. That was a gift magnet iPhone pro cover. I can, I can. I can do that. If it does. If it prevents us from. Is this phone new? No.

[Xena]

Yes. Not new new. No.

[Benjamin]

No. I probably had it seven, eight months.

[Xena]

Maybe that phone case was for my phone sake.

[Caleb Hammer]

See your phone now?

[Xena]

No.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay. USB cable. Charging brick. USB cable card holder. Cable clips. We didn't need that to survive. 10 grips. 911 comp.

[Benjamin]

That's that. Yeah. I had to get. Well, I didn't have to get anything. I bought some new grips for my gun.

[Caleb Hammer]

Some 911 grips.

[Benjamin]

9 19, 11. It's the year it was made making me nervous here.

[Caleb Hammer]

More front phone case. Oh, but that's. I mean they did make me leave. There is more skin care. Hair, body lotion. Dude, all your skin. It's like we're up to seven now when we're trying to prevent a debt from paying off. Neon loop band. I'm sure you had one for your watch. Screen protector for the watch. I mean that's maybe. Okay. More Himalayan shoes for the dogs. I mean they don't need treats. 100%. Well, I will say that, that, that.

[Benjamin]

I. I'm going to defend her. Here we have a dog that is a demon. She's half Italian greyhound, half Chihuahua. If we don't get her those chews, she destroys the house. Okay, so that's the only thing that keeps her from every birthday.

[Caleb Hammer]

Need that hole punches. We don't need it. Gatorade powder, Hydration Shit. No, no, no, listen, you're doing gamer subs from now on because one, it's cheaper and two, it tastes better. It's 40 cents a serving or 35 cents a serving. Whatever it is, you can get free samples just like this. To see what flavor you like, link in the description below. Gamersupps GG Type in code. Caleb so this is the energy drink version. So you can make your energy drinks at home, but there's also the hydration drink version and they taste better than Gatorade. Trust me, as someone who used to like Gatorade but now only drinks gamer subs. It's hard. Awesome. So no more of that? Yeah, it's all lots of party. Yeah, it's just. It's so much. It's endless. We can't be doing that if we're afraid of a debt being doubling.

[Benjamin]

And I mean you can.

[Caleb Hammer]

It's unacceptable.

[Benjamin]

I ordered like two things out of that whole thing. The rest is.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, it's unacceptable. Like unacceptable.

[Xena]

Yeah, well, some of the stuff was needed.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, barely. Barely.

[Benjamin]

I mean like the shoes is the only thing that I can like.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, a couple things.

[Benjamin]

Like cuz our dog, she is a menace. I love her dearly, but she's a feral child, so.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, well, we owe $990.33 on a Sam's Club card which is maxed out with interest accruing. Takes 3 years to pay off with minimum payments only without purchases. And I'm sure when there's the ability to purchase, you'll do it.

[Xena]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

You've had late fees this year? About two.

[Xena]

Oh, I didn't know that.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why? You're the one that manages the finances. You're the special Finances finance.

[Xena]

Yeah, I didn't know there was late payments. No, this year I didn't know.

[Caleb Hammer]

So the one that. How's there any chance if the one that is managing the finances doesn't even know about the late fees?

[Xena]

Well, I mean, sometimes it's like I have it set up on auto pay.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, you probably didn't have enough in your checking account.

[Xena]

No, probably not. That's why I probably have a lot.

[Caleb Hammer]

Of like we doing. Make me lose hope here, guys. What's Indigo?

[Xena]

It's another credit card.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, but like what's going on?

[Xena]

I. That was one of the credit cards. It's over.

[Caleb Hammer]

It's over the limit.

[Xena]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

What the are we doing? 754.41 limit. 700 fees. Prestige. Oh, Uber eats. We're Uber eats on a credit card that we can't pay off. That is getting fees because we're not able to pay on time and it's accruing interest. You. What are we getting on Uber Eats? Off I.

[Xena]

Sometimes I'll get lunch at work.

[Caleb Hammer]

No. Pack a sandwich.

[Xena]

I know I need to.

[Caleb Hammer]

That's it. It's easy. It's simple. It's basic late fee just so we can order Uber Eats and getting vacant smoke. Is that you?

[Benjamin]

Yeah, I will say I. Dude, what.

[Caleb Hammer]

The is wrong with you? You're trying to. You don't do anything in your vape all day. What a joke. Two years to pay off if you don't purchase, but you do on Uber Eats. What a joke. And he was mad on the phone call with Colton when Colton was asking what you Uber eat pisses you off.

[Benjamin]

It just seems stupid when she spends a bunch of money on groceries to take aing.

[Xena]

Well, I have to wake up at 4 o' clock in the morning.

[Caleb Hammer]

My goodness. I don't give a pack of sandwich the night before. Shut the up. What? What? Shut. Shut up. Be an adult. I don't give a. You live with your parents. Shut up. I don't care. That's a dumbass excuse. I don't give a. Make your schedule switch to around when you're. Oh, my gosh. So you've had a late fee every month this year so far in this car?

[Xena]

Yeah, probably.

[Caleb Hammer]

That's a joke. It's a pathetic joke. Pathetic joke. Path Dick joke.

[Xena]

Well, I mean, I'm the only one making an Inc. Like an income, so it's hard to pay all the bills.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, but you're Uber eating on the card, so no off. Set a 35.9% interest rate of death. Kill me now. Milestone. What's going on?

[Xena]

Another credit card I had to take out.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, but now that I know we're doing Uber Eats on it. The had to take out. What are we talking about? I had to take out. You didn't have to do Uber Eats. $675.31 on a limit of 700. Minimum payment $47. Oh, posing Indigo. Minimum. I didn't write it down. Minimum for that is 80. So these are starting to stack. Oh, I write that in Sam's club one either. Okay. Sam's is 40.

[Benjamin]

Okay.

[Caleb Hammer]

And then again with the milestone card. Great. Fees, interest purchases. Two years to pay off and it's another Uber Eats. Pull up your Uber Eats now.

[Xena]

I don't have my phone with me. It's in my purse.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, let me see.

[Benjamin]

Let me See, I. Yeah, yeah, you're turning.

[Caleb Hammer]

Dude, McDonald's yesterday. Yeah, McDonald's yesterday. McDonald's breakfast yesterday for $20. Well, and then two days before that, granite Barry. Two days before that, granite Barry. 26, 2658. That Jersey Mike's. One day before that. Oh, the chipotle. The McDonald's. The taco bell. McDonald's. McDonald's. McDonald's. Panera, subway. Oh. Oh. You even celebrated 911 with Panera. Slayed on every month this year so far. Is this another Indigo or did I. Yeah, it is.

[Xena]

I have two of them.

[Caleb Hammer]

Is happening here. It's over the limit.

[Xena]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Sir, is there hope here, ladies and gentlemen? There must be. Listen, I. I'm gonna put you guys through our master your money series. Where you got. Or master your debt, master your investing, master your budget, master your real estate. Everything you'll need to know in the world of personal finances. This. I'll put you through it for free. Halohammer.com for you guys, obviously, but. And it comes with the dollar wise budgeting app. Premium version as well. But you guys got to start learning the basics because this is a disaster. The UberEats is insane. The lack of budgeting, the not knowing about late fees. Insane. Insane. You have. You are taking the classes together. Guys, it is not an option. Take them together. It has changed tens of thousands of people's lives for a reason. Please take the quiz. Go through them. Be very intentional. It'll take you hours. Because it's literally five classes. Five extensive, very detailed, made by financial professional classes with me as the face invoice. But it's okay. Okay. Fee. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, it's fees and interest. Okay, so let's see. Yeah. 56512 on a $500 level. The payment of $40 is due late half the months this year at a minimum. 30% interest over the limit. What an insane. Okay, Quicksilver. Who's is this? What's going on?

[Xena]

All of the credit cards are mine.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, you wouldn't go get a job. You're a piece of. You owe 500.8.94 on a 500 limit with a minimum to payment of 25.3years to pay off if we don't purchase. I'm sure you do. There it is. You did 68 bucks. Let's see what we got. You went into Kroger and spent on a card that was max.

[Xena]

I don't know what I went in there for. Probably groceries.

[Caleb Hammer]

Do you Uber eats every second of your life? Sometimes Uber eats and then I look and it's almost every day. It's every other day. Minimum interest fee. You're late half the months this year so far. What a joke. 30% interest rate. Credit 1. Who is this? Or what's going on with this, by the way? Credit 1. Worst of the worst of the worst of the worst. If you have this, you're the worst credit card person ever. Never imaginable. Yeah, shocker. We're over the limit, yo. 473. 36 limit. 450 minimum. Do 90. Well, usually 60. But you pass through 30. Nope, normally 30, but you pass through two months. Why? Yeah, past due. Every month. You're. You're late. Every joke. What a joke. What are we doing? Why wouldn't you want to step up? At least get involved in the numbers? I understand you weren't working and being a piece of. But you're home all day. Why can't you sit down and look at. Huh?

[Benjamin]

She says she had it handled.

[Caleb Hammer]

Why'd you say that? It's objectively incorrect.

[Benjamin]

She said she had it handled.

[Xena]

Well, that's cuz he won't take any part in our finances whatsoever.

[Caleb Hammer]

Blame, blame. None of us are able to say, yeah, I up.

[Benjamin]

You know, I should be more involved. And that's kind of why we're doing this.

[Caleb Hammer]

What a joke. Mattress firm. Sure. You go through one a month. 2,000.

[Benjamin]

I mean, hey, you know how I got this fat? Caleb, every time I your mom, she makes me a sandwich. That's how I got this fat. So if we want to keep going with the fat jokes, we can go there.

[Caleb Hammer]

She is way out of your league, my friend. She would never touch you. I'm.

[Benjamin]

I mean, are you sure? Because I was dating my buddy's moms in high school, so like, what's you.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well, that's very weird of you and your buddy's mom. Listen, I haven't posted a picture of my mom on social media, but I did post a picture of my dad and the chat lost their damn minds and gooned. So they're out of your league. $2,068 owed on here. $71 minimum payment. Three years takes to pay this off. Is there deferred interest happening?

[Xena]

No, it's interest free.

[Caleb Hammer]

Okay, then if there's no deferred interest, then I'm not freaking out about that. Oh my gosh. This target has to be the smallest text I've ever seen in my life. $295.53. $295. $53. It's up because you purchased and then fees. Oh, you guys can't do anything. Both of you are a complete disaster. You can't do anything. 41 is the normal minimum to payment. But we had a late fee. Who's surprised you guys can't do. Okay, regular capital one. My gosh. With $44.72 of purchases, why $286.84 OD on here? Limit 300. Both your credits must be destroyed. $25 payment Uber Eats and 20 DoorDash. Hey, pull up your door dash now.

[Xena]

I don't have the doordash app anymore, mother. I don't. I don't use door dash.

[Benjamin]

We're about to check that. Cuz I'm pretty sure she still has it on there. Cuz I'm pretty sure I saw a door dash thing come through literally the othering day.

[Caleb Hammer]

No, it's just we're late. We've been late and it's destroyed.

[Benjamin]

Oh, so you deleted that before we came over here?

[Caleb Hammer]

Let me in both yalls phone real quick. Xena has Apple gear plus. That's okay. But then two Apple gear pluses iCloud plus that's fine. Lose it. You do not need to pay $40 for weight weight loss. What are we doing? I don't just get what. Yes you do. It's right there, you tit. It's literally right there. And you also just signed up for it this month. I thought it was or signed up for a year ago. I don't know. Well, ad block. But you canceled that Apple cares, okay? You pay for GPT. I love GPT. It's fun. It's fun.

[Benjamin]

I use it to like make my resumes when I was applying.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh my, what a joke.

[Benjamin]

Well I mean like if you look.

[Caleb Hammer]

Icloud plus listen but you just can't afford. I'm glad you at least canceled Discord. I think that's all your debt. We have negative $86.36 in our checking account. Y what is happening? Then why does this page exist? Cuz if it's highlighted it's or potential. Why does this page exist if we're negative $86 in our checking account?

[Benjamin]

Why?

[Caleb Hammer]

Why the possible possibly Barbecue Velvet Taco Bojangles, Amazon, Amazon Apple Bell, Amazon Brahms Water Burger, Apple Bell, Amazon, Costco. Well, Costco. Maybe that was groceries, maybe it's not. It's kind of cheap so I don't know. Torrid Apple Bell, Amazon, McDonald's pop shelf. Getting some, getting some going in and Getting some from Q2QT. Amazon TJ Maxx, McDonald's. McDonald's. PayPal. PayPal. Apple bill. Apple bill. You stopping in 711 to get into $3.79? Probably energy drinks, right?

[Xena]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah. You're making them at home with gamer subs now? 35 cents a serving. Apple, my booster. There's not anything on here that is necessary. And yet we're negative.

[Benjamin]

The pirate ship is like what we use to ship out our orders that come die from the jewelry.

[Caleb Hammer]

Cancel it. You don't know what you're doing. Amazon, Sonic, Dutch Bros. PayPal, PayPal and more distribution. He hto hto. Apple bill. McDonald's. Actually that one was gas. I'll get you that one. National Enterprise. Pirate ship. Panda Express, Mexican. Amazon. Amazon. It keeps going. Fine jewelry 218. What are we doing?

[Xena]

No, that's for his business.

[Caleb Hammer]

Shut the up. Business. You don't make what I buy.

[Xena]

Like Target Gay Jewelry.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah. Pirate Ship. Flat wearable. Apple 2 pawn pawn. 380 pawn. Dutch Bros. You're gone. Le Juros. Withdrawal was rejected. Taco Bell going into some B.S. Mr. Dumplings. Vape and smoke. McDonald's gems. Oh, it keeps going. Yet we're negative. You guys are morons. You guys are uncontrollable. You guys are living at home with your parents. Pathetic. Pathetic. Taco Bell. PayPal. Taco Bell, Apple, Apple, McDonald's. Brahms, Apple Bill, Dutch Bros. Sushi, Amazon. Water Burger, Pirate ship, Apple, TikTok, Sam's Club, McDonald's.

[Xena]

It keeps going.

[Caleb Hammer]

Oh, withdrawal rejected yet we're going and getting every day, multiple times a day. Chick Fil A. Chick fil a. PayPal. Duncan. Bullshit. Bullshit. Duncan. Applewell. Applewell, Amazon. Duncan. Pirate shrimp. Applewell. Rachel getting all that house gas. PayPal, Apple Belt. It keeps going. Taco Bell, Apple, Apple, Apple. I don't know what you're getting with Apple, but you're Apple paying constantly. I would have to look through that. But I bet it's all because I'm sure you're somewhere. Another withdrawal rejected. Who would have thought? Bullshit. Taco Bell. Dunkin. Amazon. What a joke. And that's it. I don't see retirement. I don't see savings. You guys are done. There is no way way I'm going to try to budget this. But with your behavior. Woo. Good. The luck. $6,000. Do you have to pay rent or utilities to the household?

[Benjamin]

We do.

[Caleb Hammer]

What? How much?

[Benjamin]

We pay 800amonth.

[Caleb Hammer]

Is there not like a cheaper one bed place you can live in that small ass town?

[Benjamin]

No.

[Caleb Hammer]

No debt payments. Let's figure this out. Good luck. Your minimum monthly debt payments alone. Which by the way you. $1,855.40. What's your phone bill?

[Xena]

216.

[Caleb Hammer]

216 or 260?

[Xena]

216.

[Benjamin]

Tell him why.

[Xena]

But we also don't.

[Caleb Hammer]

I don't even give a. Oh, it's important.

[Xena]

We also pay his parents phone bill.

[Caleb Hammer]

Die. Die. Die.

[Benjamin]

I don't even talk to him. She's the one who chases.

[Caleb Hammer]

Die. Die. I. How do groceries work in this household?

[Xena]

We buy our own groceries.

[Caleb Hammer]

$600 for groceries? Use the meal plan. Gas. Vroom, vroom. Drive, drive. I know you guys drive far. How much for each?

[Benjamin]

Like I take about 40. 40 bucks every two days.

[Xena]

Every two days when I'm.

[Benjamin]

When I'm actually working.

[Caleb Hammer]

A month.

[Benjamin]

A month?

[Caleb Hammer]

How much in gas, asshole?

[Xena]

I think probably like 500amonth.

[Caleb Hammer]

Both combined? Yeah. Car insurances?

[Xena]

Ooh, our car insurance is very expensive.

[Caleb Hammer]

How much?

[Xena]

It's 636.

[Caleb Hammer]

150. TP fund anything else to survive. Are there co pays for medical things? We're doing quite often, yes. How much a month?

[Xena]

A hundred dollars.

[Caleb Hammer]

Is there a gym?

[Xena]

No. Obviously.

[Caleb Hammer]

Subscriptions? I will try 40. You have pets?

[Xena]

Yes.

[Caleb Hammer]

Yeah, that's right. The dog. Right. Just one, two ages and health.

[Xena]

One of them is a year old, she's perfectly fine. Other one, he's six and he has ivdd so he.

[Caleb Hammer]

I don't know if that qualifies. I'll at least give $50. For pet insurance?

[Xena]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

How much for pet food?

[Xena]

70Amonth.

[Caleb Hammer]

Anything else that needs to be in your budget. That's not going to work.

[Xena]

I don't think so. Do you think. Can you think of it? No, probably not. Yeah.

[Caleb Hammer]

I mean you guys still have a thousand left over. Will your parents not. Will. Will your parents let you live there for free for a second? If what? Under. Under the only agreement that they allow you. They only do that if you're getting your together.

[Xena]

Yeah. My daughter said that he would not charge us rent.

[Caleb Hammer]

Got an extra 982amonth. Well, let's take away that 800 as well for rent. It gives an extra $1,782 a month. No bullshit spending, no nothing. Your guys debt is ruined, destroyed, Killed. Kill me. It's horrendous. Yeah. This is your behavior. Like if there's any indication, like this is one of the most disastrous behavioral things I have ever seen in my life. Which is why I'm like the fuck luck guys. But I mean. Yeah, I mean you can take care of it. You can take care of it in about three years, which is not that bad. It's fine for most adults on the show. Go work, get, you know, put in some time for school, get some extra money on the side. Then get a better paying job, get some raises, get a better paying job, work on moving up career. You can probably pay this off in two and a half years. But it all comes down to behavior change and nothing in here shows any behavior change. Use the dollar wise app. Good the luck guys. Then get a fully funded emergency fund. Then you need to live 50, 30, 20. Maybe go out and live on your own. But you gotta at least start contributing 20 to retirement once we have that six month emergency fund after you pay off the debt and do it after three years. But that's it. That relies on behavior change. So I don't know.

[Xena]

I did just get a second job club too.

[Caleb Hammer]

Well good, because that'll help speed it up. But none of that matters if we don't blow all of our income, which is what you guys do. Join us in the post show. Let's get the Hammer Financial score first though. Spending in a budget Overspent debt irs zero out of ten Emergency fund nothing. Zero to ten Retirement Nothing's okay. Hammer Financial Score Easy as it gets. 0 out of 10. Click that join button for an extra 20 minutes of this episode. There's always extra hidden things that we'll talk about with the Bridge producers and three premium shows posted every single day Monday through Friday. I'll see you there. No. You lost your old apartment. You own to them. You own your own apartment.

[Benjamin]

I think it's kind of that. I only knew about a few of those credit cards.

[Xena]

You've known about a few of them?

[Benjamin]

A few is not all of them. What is this? We're doing the whole schoolyard thing? Wipe the stupid smirk off your face.

[Xena]

When your hairline grows back. We forgot the only reason you're yelling at me is because there's a room full of people.

[Benjamin]

Yeah, cuz it's the only time I feel safe. Normally I argue with a table in between us. Cuz you're crazy.

[Hammer Elite Announcer]

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[Caleb Hammer]

Helicopter.

[Hammer Elite Announcer]

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