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This episode of Financial Tea is brought to you by Ancient and Brave. They have been an iconic and trusted wellness brand in the UK for years and now that they will launch in the US across the pond I have been integrating two of their hero products into my daily routine. I like their True Creatine plus and their True Collagen. And let's start with the True Creatine plus baby, because suddenly everyone is taking creatine. But what's interesting is that women naturally store 70 to 80% less creatine than men, which means we can actually experience more noticeable benefits from supplementation. And Ancient and Braves True Creatine plus not only helps enhance physical performance, but it has added taurine, vitamin D and magnesium. So it also helps support energy, improve cognitive function and just overall well being. It's neutral tasting and I take it daily, even on my non workout days. 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So I really want you guys to get a good night's sleep. It does help you earn more. Being well rested is like the key to success in life. Go to birch living.com financial t and you'll get 20% off site wide. That is birch living.com financial t to get 20% off site wide. Birch living.com financial tea what's up rich people? It's me Haley aka Mrs. Dow Jones and this is Financial Tea. What's up sippers? Welcome back to Financial Tea. This is a very special episode of this podcast because a we are in our office studio which I think looks sick if you're watching on YouTube you can probably see those fake Andy Warhols behind me. Dupe culture is alive and well. Actually. Such a good decorating tip to just like, get a picture that you like from Shutterstock or something blown up and have frame bridge and send it to Framebridge. I've done this in so many apartments and now my office, and I feel like it makes your place look rich as hell. Um, but today is a very special episode because it's almost Valentine's Day. And so I thought to celebrate, we should do a Dear Sugar Mama episode. And just to key you in on what Dear Sugar Mama is, I have a newsletter that you should subscribe to if you haven't already. Just go to Mrs. Dow Jones.com and twice a month we do these financial advice columns called Dear Sugar Mama. And they are so lit. The tea is so juicy. Like, guys, the submissions that I get are going to absolutely blow your mind. Money drama is crazier than. Than any other kind of drama. I'm not even kidding. But my dream has always been to make Dear Sugar Mama into, like, a video segment. And so, yeah, today we're living our dream. We're doing Dear Sugar Mama live. And, guys, these are crazy submissions, and they're all Valentine's Day themed because it's February and we're feeling the spirit. But first, public service announcement. If you are looking for a great Valentine's Day gift, flowers die, chocolate just gets eaten, and sometimes it's gross. But if you want a gift that actually appreciates, pre order Future Rich Person, which is my debut book that comes out in May. Okay. Dear Sugar Mama. I feel like a total monster even saying this, but I need a reality check. I've been dating a guy for five months, and he is wealthy. We're talking spent New Year's in St. Barts on a mega yacht wealthy. Wait, what? We were literally at the same party as Alex, Earl and Tom Brady. Oh, my gosh. That is the tax bracket I'm currently occupying. But here's the tea. The chemistry is in the basement. The sex is mid. Would be an overstatement. He has ed, so most nights, instead of actually being intimate, we just end up in his $15,000 sheets, scrolling our phones in total silence. Like, I'm literally there checking my hinge matches while he's next to me checking his Bloomberg app. I'm not obsessed with him. I'm obsessed with the security and the lifestyle. So am I a financial genius for choosing a soft life over sparks, or am I just selling my soul for a private driver? Sincerely, Sugar baby in denial. Dear sugar baby in denial. This is crazy. But honestly, like, if he has ED and you hate the sex, like, you're gonna just hate your life with him. That literally sounds horrible. And I know that we romanticize being with rich guys because it sounds amazing to not have to work anymore. Like, we're all out here grinding girl boss, cult culture. And it's like, no, we just want someone to give us their credit card, but then once you actually have it, you realize free is the most expensive price tag. Like, nothing is actually free. I think that the culture has done a really good job of romanticizing financial dependency. Like, the whole trad wife thing, sugar babies, nepo babies, even. We, like, put this on a pedestal because it seems like the ultimate cheat code that, like, you just are born into or marry into rich, and you don't have to actually earn rich, but money that you don't earn always comes with a super high interest rate, and it's an emotional interest rate. And that actually ends up being so much more taxing than just putting in the money to support yourself and, like, finding a relationship that actually fulfills you. Look, I think there's a lot of women who wouldn't care about this because their number one value is just being rich. Like, they just want to be on that yacht. That's all that matters. But you have to figure out what your values are. Like, are you going to end up depressed because you haven't had a good bone in five years? And, like, the end of the day, Birkin bags are just bags, or are you someone who's obsessed with that life and, like, really values that above, like, any other kind of relationship? I know, for me, I identify as being a gold digger, but I think that it's different because I have my own gold. So what I'm saying is, like, I don't want to be a nurse or a purse, but I do want someone who, like, gets the game and is good with their money and can make money. But I always would want to have my own money. Like, I would never want to be fully reliant on someone because I feel like that is definitely the most expensive thing in the world. Also, you have a lot of risk here, too, because you're basically, like, putting. It sounds like you're putting your career and life and earning potential on hold to travel and, like, live with this rich guy, but you're not married to him. And so you're basically putting all your eggs in one basket. And for him, who cares? He can get rid of you. And he'll have the money and he can find girl. But for you, you're gonna have no job, no money, and there's no legal repercussions for him just dumping you. If you're not actually married, you're basically one argument away from being homeless. Which is crazy, but it's true. He could just kick your ass out. He doesn't owe you anything. One of my favorite authors, Helen Gurley Brown, who was like the founder of Cosmopolitan, had a quote that said, a woman should always have their own money so that she can look a man in the eyes and tell him to go to hell. That is the ultimate luxury. So basically, I think that, like, if you like all the luxury stuff, it's fine to stay with him if that matters more to you than, like, having a real relationship. But I wouldn't put all my eggs in this basket. I would, like, try and maintain my earning power and, like, maybe, like, keep your own apartment and things like that until you have legal protection from him. Like, you get married. Like, don't give your whole life up just because he's taking you on a yacht. So basically, it's okay to want a billionaire. It's okay to want the yacht, but you have to make sure that you hedge your bets and have your own money so that you walk off the yacht and walk away from the billionaire if the vibes turn sour. You never want to put all your eggs in a rich man's basket. Okay, we need to talk about quints, because this is exactly the kind of brand that makes getting dressed easier, smarter, and cost less. Quint is all about elevated essentials that feel effortless. So, like, the kind of pieces that you can actually build a wardrobe around. And everything is designed for layering and mixing. So you're not just buying trendy one offs that you have no idea how to actually sell style. Like, you're buying those staples that you can reach for over and over again and actually make getting dressed easy. What they're really good at is nailing the basics, but with quality that's made to last. So, like, 100% European linen and organic cotton. And it shows the stitching, the feel, the way the pieces hold up season after season. Like, these are clothes that really can earn a piece in your rotation. So refresh your wardrobe with quince. Go to quints.com financialtea for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com financialtea okay, raise your hand if you've been putting off a dental cleaning, an annual checkup, or honestly, any kind of doctor's appointment. My hand is not up, you guys. For me, I'm obsessed with preventative healthcare. Something that I've really learned in my financial journey is how important preventative healthcare really is. And so this year, let's do things differently and let's find doctors that we love and book appointments with them on zocdoc. And zocdoc is this free app and website that helps you find and book high quality in network doctors so you can find someone you love so you can literally book in network appointments. With more than 150,000 providers across all 50 states, appointments made through Zocdoc happen fast, like typically within just 24 to 72 hours of booking. And you could even score same day appointments, which is amazing when you wake up just so sick and you just need some help. Stop putting those doctor's appointments off and go to Zocdoc.com financialtea to find an instantly book a doctor you love today. That's z o c-o c.com financialtea zocdoc.com financialtea thanks doc doc for supporting this message. Okay, I want to tell you guys about a beauty product I have been completely obsessed with lately. I am not that good at doing my makeup despite the fact that I've done it basically every day for tens of years. It's just never clicked. And that's why I have been loving Jones Road Beauty. It is founded by the legendary makeup artist herself, Bobbi Brown. The person, not the Bobbi Brown cosmetics brand. And the product that I have been really loving is their miracle balm. It gives you what I call a miracle glow. Like I use my skincare and then I tap it on my fingers like where you would put blush and suddenly I look alive. I looked a little snatch because it adds that little bit of contour and it just enhances my skin instead of covering it up. For a limited time, our listeners are getting a free shimmer face oil with their first purchase when you use Code Financial T at checkout. So all you have to do is go to Jones road beauty.com and use code Financial T and then after your purchase they're going to ask you where you heard about them. Please support the damn show and tell them Financial T sent you. Stay rich. Okay, I think that we can all agree that housing is expensive, like rent, mortgage, it doesn't matter which one you're paying, it is your biggest monthly expense. So the question Becomes is it even doing anything for you? Like are you getting rewarded for that money? Well, that's where Built comes in. Built is a membership that rewards you with points on your housing payments, whether you rent or you own. And as of 2026 that includes mortgage payments too. So every payment earns you points that you can redeem towards things that you're already spending on. Like Built points are honestly so valuable you can exchange them for flights with partners like United Hotel rooms with Hyatt Lyft rides, or even purchases on Amazon.com personally I always use my points towards travel. I just book travel to Los Angeles for my book tour on it. And what I feel like is also really underrated is their neighborhood concierge. Like Built members can get help booking restaurant reservations, fitness classes, discovering new spots. It's this very seamless, lifestyle driven experience all connected to where you live, just like from being a Built member. So I really feel like your biggest expense should feel a little more considered and give you rewards. And with Built it is. So join the membership where you live at. Join built.com/t. That's Jo I N B I L t.com/t. I've been a member since 2022 and I've never regretted it. Dear Sugar Mama, I am 6 months into my engagement and we've already dropped 150k in non refundable deposits for our dream wedding at a villa in Lake Como. Okay, chic. But then I landed a massive promotion. We're talking VP level with an equity package that finally makes account look like a future rich person's. Okay, obsessed. Love the shout out. At the same time, I'm watching my best friend go through a divorce that is basically a financial horror movie. She's losing her Hamptons house that she put down half the mortgage for and half the RSU she worked 80 hour weeks to earn. That sucks. So I realized I'd be an idiot not to have a prenup. But when I brought it up, my fiance absolutely spiraled. He said it's too late, that I'm changing the rules of our relationship and that if I actually loved him, I wouldn't be planning our divorce before we've even cut the cake. Am I being a cold hearted bridezilla for wanting to protect the empire and building, or is he a walking red flag for thinking my hard earned promotion is our money before we've even said I do? Sincerely, prenup lists in Seattle. Okay, I'm very pro prenup. Like I think that I actually should be hired by big prenup, if that's an industry even to rebrand prenups, because they have this connotation that if you get a prenup, that you're basically planning for divorce. But I think that we need to reframe that in our minds and see prenups really as marriage insurance. So, like, you don't get health insurance expecting to get sick. You just get it to have your own back in case something happens. And so a prenup is the same way. It's just insurance in case something happens. But it doesn't mean that you think that you're getting divorced or that you want to get divorced. So I'm very pro prenup. I also think that having that sort of financial transparency before you get married is really important because, after all, marriage is a business decision. It's basically a merger. And you need to know the terms of the contract and the merger before you get into business with this person. The other part of prenups that I need to rebrand is that they're really just for rich people. And, like, if you don't have a ton of assets, you don't need one. I also think that's not true because I think that a prenup just shows that, like, you're serious about the future that you're building and that you want financial transparency with your partner. You would be shocked at how many people get married without having ever talked about money with their significant other. And then money becomes the reason that they divorce. So I do think that this is a red flag of your fiance. I sort of want to know, like, how you phrased it to him. Like, I feel like maybe part of the issue is like, did you just spring it on him? Like, some people carry their money traumas from when they're 7 years old. Like, that's when we all form our relationships with money. And so, like, you might have triggered 7 year old him who, like, hates, keeps talking about money or like, something happened with his parents and like, this just. He's not a bad person. It just like, brought him back to a place that felt bad. So we're going to give him the benefit of the doubt. I think that you need to sit him down in a calm way, make it seem like the prenup is for both of you. Not just to protect your money, to protect him too. And then let's see how he reacts. And I know that there's this added pressure of like, the big deposit that you put down in Lake Como, but, like, girl, so many people Want to get married in Lake Como? There's this app that lets you buy non refundable vacations from people who like can't go on them anymore. I'm sure there's the same thing for wedding venues that people have put deposits down on and then like can't use anymore. Like, I guarantee there's a way to recoup some of the 150k. You can sell it to someone at a discount, whatever. But whatever the financial loss is that you take from walking away from the wedding if he does have still a weird reaction when you bring it up again is going to be so much less than the amount of money and emotion and energy that you're going to have to put in to divorce this man without a prenup down the road. Because if you're fighting about money now before you're married, I guarantee you're going to keep fighting about it when you're married. And it's just always going to be a weird sore subject. But also just weigh your options. Like you could marry him without a prenup so you don't have to walk away from the deposit, but then you're like probably going to get divorced and that's going to be so much more expensive than if you just like walked away from the 150k wedding deposit. Right? It's going to suck. It's going to be a little bit like maybe you're going to have shame about it. But I actually think it's sort of chic to be like, I had a broken engagement. I have a friend Samantha who had a broken engagement and like, I think it's one of the most interesting. And now she by the way remarried to an amazing guy who's very financially fit. He was reading the new Ray Dalio book when I saw him at their wedding this summer in Italy. So the grass is going to only get greener if you walk away from what's not meant for you, which is baroque loser guys who don't want prenups and towards your beautiful future, which is your cool ass promotion, fun life and like new dating pool of people who are down to like build empire with you instead of trying to stick their grubby paws in your empire and it for themselves. Dear Sugar Mama, I'm a senior project manager in tech and my income just doubled into the mid six figures. Okay, today's theme is like women in STEM who are getting paid a lot. My boyfriend of two years still coasting. What? I refuse to live a budget life same. So I'm Currently running a girlfriend. What? So I'm currently running a girlfriend scholarship program, paying for our $400 sushi omakase, VIP Coachella seats, and Aman stays. I don't mind being the breadwinner, but I mind that he's a total passenger who doesn't even handle the mental load of booking the trips I pay for. No. When I asked him to step up, he called me transactional and said, I'm making money. A competition. Am I being unfair or am I just substit? Or am I just subsidizing a lifestyle for a guy who's happy to let me coast? Sincerely, Reluctant Breadwinner. Okay, dear reluctant Breadwinner, I get why you're reluctant. This man has an amazing life. Like, I want to go to the iman with you. And he's out here. Like, he can't even book the trip. Are you kidding? No. He needs to have, like, a folio. He needs to have, like, he needs to have an itinerary. Even me, like, I'm single and I go on trips with my girlfriends and I'm always like, girl, I'll pay for the nicer hotel. If you just, like, book everything and if you just book everything and plan the itinerary and it's like, done deal. Because relationships should be reciprocal, not transactional. And I think in general, we need to rethink this idea that relationships, like the financial split, should be 50, 50, because there is always someone who's making more money. It's like, so rare for a couple to make the exact same amount of money. But so I think that things should be split reciprocally, not transactionally. If your income split with this guy is 80, 20, then, like, his efforts need to reflect that. If he's putting 20 of the money and to support the lifestyle, he needs to be putting in 80% of the energy to be, like, creating the lifestyle. One of my best friends, Joanne, is like the biggest girl boss. Like, literally, I should have her on the show. She's iconic, makes a ton of money. And so she retired her husband because she was like, why are you working? Like, I'm good. Like, take care of the kids, go do taekwondo. Like, love you, but just make sure that the house is taken care of. And so that woman, I don't think she has put gas in her car in 30 years. She has not been to a grocery store. She doesn't see a bill. Like, he is in charge of the household and gives so much back to her in that way. And they have an amazing equal relationship because they have balance. Like, she's bringing home the bacon, but he's also bringing home the bacon in different ways. Doing things that she wouldn't want to do, but also like really earning his keep. And I think that's how it should work. I don't think that, that they. I don't think that you need to split money 50, 50. I think that you can split things proportionally to how much you're earning. So I think that you need to either talk to him and restructure things or you need to leave him. Like, and let's not forget, like, he's your boyfriend, he's not even your husband. This man is living a good ass life. Like, he's got it figured out. If he can't, like add a little bit to the relationship with his efforts, you gotta kick him to the curve. Being single is so much better than being with these deadbeat men. Like, I don't know why people stay in these relationships with these guys who just sound like absolute drains. You're gonna feel so much happier if you just release him and you don't have this resentment anymore. I mean, of course, give him the chance to change, but if he won't, you gotta keep going, girl. Your life is too good to let him drag you down. And just a reminder, if you wanna submit a question for Dear sugar mama, email t missesdaojones.com that's tissesdowjones.com with your submission. These are all always anonymous and always super juicy. Okay, now we're going to do a little portfolio audit. I'm going to open the books on the crazy DMS that I've gotten from you about money and relationships. Okay, first one brags about his income but needs an immediate venmo for a $14 cocktail. I'm gonna call it he's insolvent. If you need to invoice for a margarita when you've invited someone there for a margarita, you aren't rich. Tips like it's 2004. Ooh, cheap is tough. I'm gonna say walk away from that too. Has 30k in a checking account and thinks it's a flex. I'm gonna say it. He's an inflation risk. That money is losing value and so is he ex husband who won't set the kids up for success despite having the funds. Damn. 0roi. Glad that he's your ex husband. Hoarding wealth at the expense of his own legacy. That is some fucked up shit. Part of my French won't take me on dates because it's expensive. But orders Uber eats every night. Damn. That is. That would be. That would be so grating to me. Like, I would be so annoyed at him. That is the most passive aggressive man in the world. I'm gonna have to say, like, walk away as well. I'm hoping we get some where, like, the guy's not so bad. Okay. I will say a lot of the theme of this episode is Sunk Cost Fallacy, which is, like, when you feel like you're too deep in something to walk away, but, like, you can always restart your life. I just want to remind you that, like, if you're in a relationship with someone who is disrespecting you financially and you're not down with how they treat money, you can leave. Like, it doesn't matter if you've been there for eight years. It doesn't matter if you have a kid with him. It doesn't matter if, like, you. If you put a deposit down on a Lake Como wedding. Like, if it ain't right, you gotta go. And that's why having your own money is so important, because that gives you the power to walk away. I promise it's easier to restart than to try and make it work with someone who's not right for you. Okay, I do have to run, though. Tell me if this is crazy. I guess this is my own submission to Dear Sugar Mama, but this man sent me a DM with a screenshot of his $13 million investment portfolio. And this is, like, a super fan. Like, he's always being so positive on my posts, which, like, we love to see. And he's like, I really wanna take you out. I'm gonna fly in. I wanna take you to dinner, blah, blah, blah. And so I was like, fuck it. You know, 2026, let's say yes. And I know that it's sus that he sent me that screenshot. And I actually found out something else sus about him, which is that he is in a lawsuit for giving bad investment advice. But I'm sort of just, like, going on the date anyways to see what happens. Maybe there's two sides of the story. Maybe it will just be a story for me, but I will report back. So I have to go get ready for that. Even though, you know, I gotta blow out for this just for you guys. So I'm sort of ready already. But yeah. See you next Thursday. Don't forget to read and subscribe. Follow for more and stay rich. This is a Mrs. Dow Jones production for Sony Music Podcasts. When you manage procurement for multiple facilities. 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