Often, our most important growth comes from letting go of who we think we're supposed to be. And for many women, their 40s can be a transformative decade of reexamining long-held expectations and getting closer to who they really are. In this episode of Finding Brave, I have the pleasure of sitting down with journalist and author Stacey Lindsay to explore why this often misunderstood decade deserves a more honest and deep exploration.

Stacey is the author of the new book Being 40: The Decade of Letting Go—and Embracing Who We Are and a senior editor at Maria Shriver's Sunday Paper. Through extensive research and personal reflection, Stacey explores why the 40s can be such a pivotal decade for women.

In our conversation, Stacey shares what inspired her to write the book and why she became fascinated by women's experiences in their 40s. I'm truly honored to be featured in Stacey's important and eye-opening book.

Today we discuss the courage required to tell the truth about our lives, the challenges of letting go of societal pressures, and the reality that this stage of life can be both difficult and deeply liberating. We explore the many transitions that often converge during this decade, from changing bodies and evolving careers to caregiving responsibilities and shifting personal priorities.

Stacey also reflects on the importance of reconnecting with ourselves, embracing vulnerability, and finding comfort in the stories of others. At its heart, this conversation is about giving ourselves permission to live more authentically and release the expectations that no longer serve us.

Tune in for an insightful and uplifting discussion about aging, identity, and what it means to fully embrace who you are becoming.

Key Points From This Episode:

Introducing Stacey Lindsay and her new book, Being 40. [01:59]
What Stacey found most daunting about the writing process. [07:55]
The inspiration behind Stacey's book: why she wanted to write about women in their 40s. [12:13]
The expectations women carry and what becomes possible when they let them go. [17:58]
What surprised Stacey most during her conversations with women. [19:54]
How our mothers and early role models continue to shape us into midlife. [23:26]
Why our culture is starving for warmth, connection, and genuine human interaction. [29:41]
Stories of self-acceptance, letting go, and embracing who we are. [32:21]
How women across generations are helping each other find greater clarity and self-acceptance. [35:36]

For More Information:

Stacey Lindsay

Stacey Lindsay on Instagram

Stacey Lindsay on LinkedIn

Links Mentioned in Today's Episode:

Stacey's book Being 40: The Decade of Letting Go—and Embracing Who We Are

Her book on Audible

Kathy's feature in A Guide to Living in the Unknown, from the Architects of Change section in Maria Shriver's Sunday Paper

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Quotes:

"I'm feeling so many things as a woman right now: as a woman just in her 40s, as a woman in society, unlearning so many things, [and] – I know other women are feeling this." — Stacey Lindsay [0:06:18]

"I think this evolution that women have been going through forever is just fascinating. I think the feminist movement goes through a different wave every day, right? We take three steps forward, two steps back, all of us, but we persevere." — Stacey Lindsay [0:12:51]

"When we really look at the things that we've been carrying that never served us and will never serve us—ideas about how we should look, how we should be, how we should mother, how we should act—when we start to put those down, I found we actually free up a lot more energy to put toward our strength, to face the hard stuff, and then find more joy." — Stacey Lindsay [0:18:27]

"Another thing I deeply hope somebody takes from this book is a companionship with oneself, ultimately. We can become cleaved from ourselves in many ways when we are checking all the boxes, thinking we're doing all the right things." — Stacey Lindsay [0:21:13]

"What has gotten me closer to myself is the company of another woman's story. Sometimes that's through a movie, sometimes that's through a book, many times [it's] through a Mary Oliver poem." — Stacey Lindsay [0:21:45]

"I finally embraced the fact that this is who I am, this is how I am, this is the way I operate. I don't want to apologize anymore. There's this radical coolness about this decade." — Stacey Lindsay [0:33:15]

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