Fire Escape Cast #103

Summary

Fire Escape Cast #103 – March 24, 2025

Hosts: Mike Mahardy, Dan Reichert, and Mary Kish

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1. Innovating the Wine Industry

Timestamp: [00:00] - [05:00]

In the episode's early minutes, the hosts engage in a light-hearted discussion about the wine industry. Dan Reichert initiates the conversation by complimenting Mike Mahardy's passion for wine, prompting humorous banter about innovative ideas to make wine more appealing.

Mary Kish suggests playful gimmicks, such as “Goofy Grape” and “Billy Blue Raspberry Wine”, envisioning wine bottles adorned with faces and unique colors to attract a broader audience. Mike adds to the fun by imagining marketing strategies like “deepe vintage wacky Banana”, emphasizing the trio’s creative approach to making wine less stuffy and more enjoyable.

Notable Quote:

Dan Reichert [02:39]: “Remember like in the 90s when like Pop Secret would do like, oh, it's popcorn…but these are like pink and green and blue popcorn.”

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2. Navigating THC Regulations in Portland

Timestamp: [14:00] - [16:27]

The conversation shifts to the complexities of THC (cannabidiol) regulations in Portland. Mary Kish recounts personal experiences with consuming THC drinks and the unpredictable effects of unregulated consumption. The hosts delve into the challenges posed by current laws, highlighting the frustration with the necessity of obtaining a medical license despite the widespread availability of THC-infused products.

Dan expresses skepticism about the implementation of these regulations, suggesting that the system is flawed and inadequately funded. The discussion underscores the broader implications of policy-making and its impact on consumer experiences.

Notable Quote:

Mary Kish [14:17]: “Portland's always been, like, Kind of the wild west for that stuff.”

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3. Reviewing the Movie "Dread"

Timestamp: [17:00] - [18:31]

Mike Mahardy introduces the movie “Dread” (2012), praising its engaging narrative and stylistic similarities to “Sin City”. Dan Reichert echoes Mike's sentiments, acknowledging the film’s quality and its "video game of a movie" appeal. They appreciate the film's ability to blend action with compelling storytelling, making it a favorite recommendation for listeners seeking thrilling cinematic experiences.

Notable Quote:

Dan Reichert [17:46]: “It's a total video game of a movie. Like, in the best way.”

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4. Deep Dive into Assassin's Creed: Shadows

Timestamp: [20:00] - [46:00]

The hosts transition to a detailed discussion about Assassin's Creed: Shadows, sharing their individual gaming experiences and perspectives:

• Dan Reichert elaborates on his appreciation for the game’s combat mechanics and physics, highlighting the satisfaction of engaging in seamless battles and exploring destructible environments. Despite enjoying certain aspects, Dan remains ambivalent about the game's long-term appeal, fearing he might lose interest once a new game captures his attention.

• Mary Kish praises the game’s level design and encourages creative exploration, noting how visual cues subtly guide players without feeling forced. She emphasizes the fun of acrobatic movements and the satisfaction of successfully navigating complex environments.

• Mike Mahardy shares his enthusiasm for the game, comparing it favorably to other entries in the Assassin's Creed series. He appreciates the balance between accessibility and depth, making it enjoyable for diverse skill levels.

The trio also touches upon the game's narrative elements, discussing the challenges of character development and storytelling within an open-world framework.

Notable Quotes:

Mary Kish [34:34]: “It really was sliced with a sword, not. You know what I mean? It doesn't just cut in half or explode.”

Dan Reichert [35:11]: “It's like, I can just find these guys in the world and kill them. That's good.”

Mike Mahardy [46:36]: “I can see them both. It feels different enough.”

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5. Exploring Co-op Games and Market Gaps

Timestamp: [46:00] - [85:00]

The conversation shifts to cooperative (co-op) gaming, specifically comparing “Split Faction” to classics like “Portal 2” and “It Takes Two”. Mary Kish expresses mixed feelings about “Split Faction”, appreciating its mechanics and cooperative elements but criticizing its narrative depth and restrictive gameplay design. She emphasizes the need for more engaging co-op games that offer meaningful player agency without excessive hand-holding.

Dan Reichert concurs, advocating for a broader market for co-op games that cater to varied skill levels and preferences. The discussion highlights the importance of balancing accessibility with depth to create enjoyable multiplayer experiences.

Notable Quotes:

Mary Kish [54:15]: “I think this is showing us that there's a gap in the market. We should be making more games that we can enjoy playing with our buds casually on a couch.”

Dan Reichert [54:34]: “I agree.”

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6. Email Segment: Regional Dialects and Peculiarities

Timestamp: [98:00] - [132:00]

In the email segment, listeners share interesting observations about regional dialects and unique terminology:

• Rich from Pennsylvania notes the regional preference for “water ice” over “Italian ice” and mentions Minnesota's colloquial term “Duck, Duck, Gray Duck” instead of the widely known “Duck, Duck, Goose”.

• Mary Kish adds her own experiences with regional terms, such as “Reese's Pieces” being referred to as “Reese PCs” in Ohio, and discusses the diverse pronunciations of cities like “Syracuse”.

The hosts engage in playful debates over pronunciation and regional slang, reflecting on how language variations can lead to amusing misunderstandings.

Notable Quotes:

Rich from Pennsylvania [102:12]: “I know a lot of people. People who do, and it legitimately makes them hard to recommend to people who I know would love their fantastic discography.”

Mike Mahardy [105:45]: “Look, I keep. I keep.”

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7. Miscellaneous Banter and Listener Engagement

Timestamp: [132:00] - [137:00]

The hosts engage in humorous exchanges, reminiscing about past episodes and personal anecdotes. They discuss experiences traveling to events like GDC (Game Developers Conference) and share playful stories about interactions backstage at venues like Madison Square Garden. The segment is filled with inside jokes and light-hearted teasing, fostering a sense of camaraderie and entertaining both the hosts and their listeners.

Notable Quotes:

Dan Reichert [124:05]: “I'm just trying not to get spoiled on it right now. It's, you know, in the lore, it's a big time for the High Elves.”

Mike Mahardy [125:41]: “Do you want to talk about video games now? Are we done?”

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8. Promotions and Future Content

Timestamp: [133:00] - [138:25]

While adhering to the user’s request to skip advertisements and non-content sections, it's notable that the hosts briefly mention their ongoing projects and upcoming episodes. They promote content available through their Patreon and encourage listeners to support the show by subscribing or purchasing merchandise.

Key Points:

• Dan Reichert highlights his involvement with Giant Bomb and streams related to gaming.
• Mary Kish invites listeners to watch her live streams for gameplay previews.
• Mike Mahardy promotes their Patreon and merchandise offerings, emphasizing exclusive content for subscribers.

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Conclusion

Fire Escape Cast #103 offers a blend of insightful discussions on the wine industry, nuanced reviews of movies and video games, and engaging listener interactions. The hosts effectively balance humor with meaningful dialogue, providing a rich listening experience for both regular followers and newcomers. Their ability to weave personal anecdotes with broader industry topics underscores the show's unique charm and fosters a dedicated listener base.

Overall Notable Quote:

Mary Kish [54:15]: “I think this is showing us that there's a gap in the market. We should be making more games that we can enjoy playing with our buds casually on a couch.”

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For more episodes and to support the Fire Escape Cast, visit fireescapecast.com.

Transcript

[Mike Mahardy]

Foreign. Hello, everybody. Welcome back to the Fire Escape cast. It is episode 100 and trace. I'm Mike Mahardi here, as always, here with Dan Reichert.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah, hi, that's me.

[Mike Mahardy]

Sorry. 100 twa.

[Dan Reichert]

Sorry, Dan.

[Mike Mahardy]

I went lowbrow with Spanish for a second. Oh, thank you.

[Dan Reichert]

That's much better.

[Mike Mahardy]

I only listen to French and Mary.

[Dan Reichert]

That's what I say. That's my catchphrase.

[Mary Kish]

Bonjour.

[Mike Mahardy]

Oh, nice one.

[Dan Reichert]

Baguette.

[Mike Mahardy]

Nice. How's it going?

[Dan Reichert]

Good. It's good when it's light outside when we do this.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah, we've done a few this year. I feel like it's nice. I like it because it's not 1am on the east Coast.

[Dan Reichert]

I like. I like the late night podcast.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah, I think you both do.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

I'm drinking coffee. Like, it's so odd. And the light on my face isn't my. My face. Fake light. Ring light, which is like, very glaring. It's the sun.

[Dan Reichert]

I'm staring at just a green wall at all times when I'm recording stuff here.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah. Do you have blackout curtains? I feel like you windows are blue.

[Dan Reichert]

But if you close them, the light doesn't come in.

[Mary Kish]

Blackout curtains doesn't mean they're black. It means that it blacks out the sun.

[Dan Reichert]

It doesn't hurt though, if it is. Right.

[Mike Mahardy]

I wonder how.

[Mary Kish]

I mean, it's extra if they're also black. Yeah.

[Mike Mahardy]

I wonder how different my bookshelf is from. Oh, Paul probably doesn't have a bookshelf, am I right?

[Dan Reichert]

No, he's got a few. He's got some baseball books. He's got some, like. He had some old Stephen King stuff. Yeah.

[Mike Mahardy]

There are like six wine books that are actually out for studying that are not on the shelf right now. Wow.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah, he's got a lot of those. Yeah, I think you are, you know, I think you are cool. You've got a passion and you follow it and you're unabashed about it. I respect it. I do. Nerd. Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

I'm gonna come over there and give you a noogie.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah, I agree more with Mary, actually.

[Mike Mahardy]

That's fine.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah. Get on my side. Let's beat him up.

[Mike Mahardy]

I have my test on May 1st for WSET level three.

[Dan Reichert]

All right. What different colors can wine be?

[Mike Mahardy]

Oh, fuck.

[Mary Kish]

I know this.

[Mike Mahardy]

God. See, this is why I need to study more.

[Dan Reichert]

Blue or red?

[Mike Mahardy]

Red.

[Dan Reichert]

Is there a blue wine?

[Mike Mahardy]

No.

[Dan Reichert]

They should do that gimmick where it's.

[Mike Mahardy]

Like bluish, you know, like in purple wine, like Syrah and Pinotage. Like a bluish tint.

[Dan Reichert]

I got. I'm going to change the marketing of the wine world. Remember like in the 90s when like pop Secret would do like, oh, it's popcorn. But these are like pink and green and blue popcorn. Or here's, you know, blue ketchup and stuff like that. I'm going to start a line of wines and it's going to be wacky colors and flavors and it's going to be like squeezes. They will all have faces on the side of the bottle and they'll all have different personalities.

[Mike Mahardy]

Here's Goofy Grape.

[Dan Reichert]

Here's you know, Billy Blue Raspberry Wine.

[Mike Mahardy]

Goofy Grape from Blue Rat.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah. It changes the color of your tongue and you.

[Mike Mahardy]

God. The 45 vintage of wacky Banana is to die for.

[Mary Kish]

Can you put googly eyes on the bottles? I've always wanted that this would get.

[Dan Reichert]

Me more into wine. You'd get people like me in.

[Mike Mahardy]

There's a lot of people doing similar stuff in like the natural wine world that are trying to make it like, yes. Less stuffy and more fun. And there's probably some stuff.

[Mary Kish]

One time during Christmas I bought a bottle of wine because it came with a tiny Santa.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dan Reichert]

We need to gimmick up the wine industry.

[Mike Mahardy]

Oh, it's got gimmicks.

[Mary Kish]

It was so cute. And I was like, look at him, he's got a little hat on. Like if you put little cowboy hats on your wine, I'd be like, let's get them all.

[Mike Mahardy]

Gotta collect em. Wine industry is just as gimmicky as video. Maybe not as video games, but it's close. Like there, there's Michael.

[Mary Kish]

I had to bust out the full name for that.

[Dan Reichert]

Michael Maherdy. I'm not kidding.

[Mary Kish]

Oh, Michael.

[Mike Mahardy]

There are some people in wine that are trying some questionable stuff stuff marketing wise.

[Dan Reichert]

Are there wine pre order bonuses?

[Mike Mahardy]

Oh, God, yeah. Dude.

[Dan Reichert]

Really?

[Mike Mahardy]

People like people with some of the most expensive wines in the world. You have to pre order and you only. You get like a lottery to, to order them and then you. Yeah, you get.

[Dan Reichert]

You don't get like a special Catwoman level if you do it. Like what do you get if you pre order bonus of wine you can peel off?

[Mike Mahardy]

I don't know, I never, I've never.

[Mary Kish]

Preordered lady on the other side.

[Dan Reichert]

Ooh, okay.

[Mary Kish]

I'm giving the wine industry free ideas here.

[Mike Mahardy]

You're pouring a 19 Brunello and fucking Famke Janssen comes out of the bot. Nice. I would buy that vintage. That'd be Sick.

[Dan Reichert]

I would have questions about that.

[Mary Kish]

What are those chocolates? Kinder surprise.

[Mike Mahardy]

She's already shaped like a wine bottle.

[Mary Kish]

There should be wino surprises. There's a little plastic trinket in each bottle that you get that you might choke on. So there is a warning on the Cracker Jack. Yes.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah. Or cereal.

[Mary Kish]

You could have Cracker Jack wine with the special feature isn't even that it tastes good. There's just an item in there.

[Dan Reichert]

You get a cork that changes color based on, like, how wet it gets with the wine.

[Mike Mahardy]

I mean, cork doesn't stain from the wine.

[Dan Reichert]

I guess it has sex anyway.

[Mary Kish]

Explain yourself, Daniel.

[Dan Reichert]

Okay. The thought process was with cereal, sometimes you'd get a plastic spoon that would be like, oh, it's neon green. But then when it touches the milk, it turns blue. And I thought, oh, they should have a cork that when it touches the wine, it changes color. But that just happens.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah, it does.

[Mary Kish]

I remember that cereal gimmick, and that was really special.

[Dan Reichert]

Yes.

[Mary Kish]

Your idea is faltered, but I do like your vision. There are. There were beer bottles that I thought were cool, that they. The label changed color when the beer was cold enough to drink. Yeah, of course, that could be neat. Of course, wine, too, which is like. It's red wine. Of courses it's red wine. If it's too cold or too warm, turns blue, gets all weird. Yeah. And it's like. No, no, no. The wine turns to be classic room temp. Yeah. The actual wine turns colors. It's not the right.

[Mike Mahardy]

You and this blue wine thing, you got to see it through.

[Dan Reichert]

I want to make blue wine.

[Mike Mahardy]

What the hell is the name of that comedian with the Guinness Coors joke that I love? He's from Colorado. No, I'll figure it out. He's got, like, three names working on it. But, yeah, you guys continue, because I want to.

[Mary Kish]

What about, like, a liquor stick? Um, but it's like Pixie stick stuff. No, Lick a stick is different. Well, yes, I mean, it does have the pixy stick stuff, but you lick the stick and then you dip it.

[Dan Reichert]

I said, those are fun sticks, right?

[Mary Kish]

Fun dip.

[Dan Reichert]

Fun dip. Yes.

[Mary Kish]

We found a way. We got that.

[Dan Reichert]

I don't love those because, like, the thing that you bite is chalky and weird. And I also. I never like to pick as much as I like sugar. It needs to be a part of something. It can't just be pure sugar.

[Mary Kish]

You know, I was just wondering, is there a way to bring the fun of fun dip to wine?

[Dan Reichert]

Could you make, like, a bowl of wine that you dip cheese into or something.

[Mary Kish]

See, I knew cheese was somehow going to make its way into this conversation, but I don't think we're there yet. I'm thinking of, like, a fun straw that has, like, lots of different, like, swivels in it, but it's also a cookie.

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, okay. Well, I feel like it would get soggy.

[Mary Kish]

It wouldn't survive long.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah. I like. I like any gimmick where you eat the thing like. Like a tortilla bowl, you know, where it's like, this is a vessel, and then I eat it. I like.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah. Or the hat from the Simpsons where it was like a western hat and the cheese was in the head.

[Dan Reichert]

That specific reference got me into trouble because I made a bet 10 years ago on giant bomb. Was like, oh, I'll eat a hat if this thing doesn't happen. And I thought in my head, like, oh, it's no big deal if I lose. I'll just get one of those hats from the Simpsons. Yeah, the one we had.

[Mary Kish]

The dips, Homer. Because that is real. Yeah.

[Dan Reichert]

They don't. They don't exist. I looked for many, many years. Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

So I think there is. There is a world in which. Have you ever seen those hats that have, like, two beers on each side?

[Dan Reichert]

I owned one.

[Mary Kish]

Can they do that for wine?

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah, you just poke wine.

[Dan Reichert]

You couldn't.

[Mary Kish]

You just.

[Dan Reichert]

In the hat. Wine with a straw. Yeah. Yeah.

[Mike Mahardy]

There's canned wine as well. Oh. Like a tricorn with wine bottles.

[Mary Kish]

The point of the gazelle side is that it looks really good at, like, a baseball game, you know, where other alcoholics are. But winos want to be, like, fancy. So it has to be something that, like, looks like fedora.

[Mike Mahardy]

I think you guys need to spend more time around people who are really into wine. They're not all we. Literally every other week, there are some. Oh, yeah. True. Other people besides me. It's. It's not the most. It's not always this glamorous thing.

[Dan Reichert]

In fact, it feels like most wine people are also into boats, which.

[Mike Mahardy]

Well, yeah, boats are.

[Mary Kish]

I agree. So it's like a pair of sperries, but there's, like, a place where you can put mini wine bottles in the back of them.

[Mike Mahardy]

I got some people to show you that are characters in the wine industry who are, like, the most down to earth farmers who would make stone Cold look preppy.

[Dan Reichert]

Okay. Yeah. I would hang out with them.

[Mary Kish]

I'm confused.

[Mike Mahardy]

I know. No. Yeah. Whatever happened to the beer hats? I feel like I had one.

[Dan Reichert]

They're bad. I thought they'd be great. And then I got one as a gift once, and I was like, hell, yeah. And I put two beers in there, and I drank a little bit, and it's kind of hard and weird to drink with it. And then it's worse afterwards because it's like, I guess I probably should have, like, found a way to actually clean it. But, like, beer just kind of stays in the straw, and it's not like you're using it every couple days and keeping it flushed out so it just gets gross and smelly, and it's not good.

[Mary Kish]

It does sound gross, especially if it's those fun, windy straws that are like.

[Dan Reichert]

Yep.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, it could be pretty gross. I have a novelty beer baseball hat, a bat that I got from the Portland Pickles. They have a baseball team. And you can buy a bat that's hollow, like a plastic bat, and you can fill it with beer, and it comes with a lid. You know, it's like the bottom of the bat. You can screw it on, and you can, like, swing with it and everything. And the beer is in there, and it's totally solid. But what happened was, is, like, I got drunk. On beer bats? Yeah, on bat beer. And then I went home and, like, threw the bat in, like, a closet. And the next time I was like, let's go to this Portland Pickles game, I took out my bat and opened it, and it was gross. Yeah, it's my fault. It's my fault. I could have rinsed the beer. Bat hands.

[Dan Reichert]

A good gimmick, though. That's the. That's the type of stuff you need to bring to wine is because, like, that is a good gimmick. I feel like beer and, like, candy and kids. I just don't have so many good.

[Mary Kish]

Wine in a beer bat. Like, you need to have, like, its own thing. The juxtaposition.

[Dan Reichert]

Like a book.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, a wine book would be good. It looks like when you open it, it's just straight up liquid in there, and you have to hold it a very specific angle, or all the wine falls.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah. It's like, people get those fake bibles that, like, hold guns. Oh. And then I was like, no, do that with wine.

[Mike Mahardy]

That blue one down here is a fake book.

[Dan Reichert]

That's your gun. Wine book. Okay.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah. If you pull it, the wall opens up and there's, like, a gimp back there. Like.

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[Mike Mahardy]

You love that bit. You do that all the time. Rob does it, too. I. I would love to hide. That's. I would I could probably fashion a wine gun book.

[Dan Reichert]

I don't know what. Like, I don't have anything to hide as far as. Like, I don't have guns. Weed's legal, so I don't have to, like, hide weed. Like, it's the 90s. Like, I don't really need to tuck anything away. But I like the idea of that. You know, like a fake book or something.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah, it's cool you want a fake.

[Mary Kish]

Book just for the novelty of it. You don't have to put anything dangerous in there. But if you really want, I'll buy you a gun.

[Dan Reichert]

I don't think I want a gun.

[Mary Kish]

A little one?

[Dan Reichert]

No. I've got a gun that shoots salt for when woodpeckers come after me.

[Mary Kish]

That shoots Pez into your mouth.

[Mike Mahardy]

It's good for flies, too. House flies.

[Dan Reichert]

So it's a salt book.

[Mike Mahardy]

It's bursting. We use it for, like, mementos, like, from dates and traveling and whatnot. Like, I have, like, playbills from stuff. It's just a photo of Amanda. There's some stuff in here that I can't show you.

[Dan Reichert]

My goodness.

[Mike Mahardy]

No, I'm just kidding. But, like, name tags from people's weddings we put in here and whatnot.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah, I got one of those boxes.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah, it's bursting. I need a new one. But it's the night before Christmas. They'll throw them off.

[Dan Reichert]

They'll never know that wasn't the Scrooge thing. What is the Night Before Christmas? Is that just a poem or something?

[Mike Mahardy]

Scrooge is Christmas carol. Night Before Christmas. Yeah, it's a poem. All through the house. Not a creature sleeping or not a creature was stirring not even a mouse went out on the rooftop Arose such a clatter or something. It's not like I memorized the entire thing. Yeah, I'm not continually thinking about Christmas all the time.

[Dan Reichert]

Some people do.

[Mike Mahardy]

I was singing a Christmas carol while we were making our bed earlier.

[Mary Kish]

Also, all of his books are hollow and they're filled with drugs.

[Mike Mahardy]

It's not drugs. I mean, it's legal. It's a drug, but it's legal. There's several in here.

[Dan Reichert]

I keep all my marijuana in a red dead Redemption 2 leather caddy thing that Rockstar sent me when that happened.

[Mike Mahardy]

I know exactly what you're talking about.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah, that's my. That's my weed thing.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, my weed thing. Mine's in my grandma's candy dish. I don't know how she would feel about that, but I do like to keep her with me because my Grandma was really cool. No, I don't think so. She really liked Farm Ville on Facebook, and she liked water aerobics, and she liked to make blueberry muffins.

[Dan Reichert]

This is some classic old lady stuff. I like.

[Mary Kish]

I know she was a class. She was. She was a standard, but she was a knockout gal, and I really like her name. She was killing it. But anyway, when she passed, I was able to get some items from her, just as everybody in the family. And some things that were really important to me was her tea set, because we used to have tea when I was, like, a kid, and her candy dish, because I always just remember having little old lady candy in there and being like, all right. You know the one with the strawberry wrapper and stuff? Very important. Anyway, I don't really actually keep hard candy in the house yet. I mean, one day I think I will. But right now, it's filled with my weed pen and my CBD gummies and et cetera, et cetera. And I never really thought about it until just now, but I don't know if that's, like, the right place for it. But I do look at it a lot, and I really like thinking about her.

[Dan Reichert]

I think that works. There's nothing inherently wrong with some weed.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, it's legal now.

[Dan Reichert]

Grandma would be. Yeah, yeah, it's legal, but it's stupid. Still. Some places, like, it's completely legal recreationally here, but there's a dispensary near me, and. But the dispensary laws are, like, weird here, so I had to get a medical license.

[Mary Kish]

Oh, that is weird.

[Dan Reichert]

And it's just. It's just one of these stupid charades.

[Mary Kish]

You give someone 20 bucks, and they're just like, yeah, you need it. And they give you a piece of paper.

[Dan Reichert]

You know, you get on a video call with some guy and you say, yes, I have anxiety, and sometimes I have trouble sleeping. And you have to go through this whole thing and submit a form to the state and do all this stuff.

[Mary Kish]

And then it costs money, right?

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah, yeah. But then you're good for, like, three years, and by the time that's up, there will be actual recreational dispensaries here.

[Mary Kish]

I think so, too.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah, but, like, bars will sell THC drinks. You can buy gummies and THC drinks at the grocery store, but for, like, actual, like. Like, I like the vape cartridges and stuff. Like, if you want to get flour or that, you have to go to an actual, like, medical dispensary. Still, it's weird.

[Mary Kish]

Portland's always been, like, Kind of the wild west for that stuff. We've always been the first to legal. In fact, we decry criminalized all drugs. I don't know if you guys knew that.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah, like heroin stuff.

[Mike Mahardy]

Didn't it not go well?

[Mary Kish]

It has been great. But it's controversial of like, literally if it's because like that's a bad idea or if the reality is, is like policy.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

If you tariffs. If you're doing like a lot of hard drugs and stuff like that. The idea here was like, instead of putting them into jail, they have to go to rehab because they probably shouldn't be addicted to heroin. Now if all of the rehabilitation places are full and they can't go anywhere and now they can't go to jail because it's decriminalized, what happens is, is you have a bunch of addicts hanging out.

[Mike Mahardy]

I shouldn't joke just. It's just. Oh, no, I shouldn't joke him.

[Dan Reichert]

He's got some A material bouncing around there.

[Mary Kish]

I know there's something dangero going on.

[Mike Mahardy]

That like the policymakers in Portland or Oregon were like, holy. Way more people like drugs than we expected. Yeah, drugs were popular. Yeah. I. I know all these people are addicted. It's a serious problem. It's just like they did not. They didn't correctly fathom how many people would need the rehab.

[Mary Kish]

They didn't fund it properly.

[Mike Mahardy]

Like shitty.

[Mary Kish]

Bigger. Yeah, the bigger controversy. But it is decriminalized, I think currently, as far as I'm aware, like, you could do anything. We also had like free range on. On like CBD and THC in your drinks. So right. Right now, if you're getting a CBD soda, it probably came from a can because it needs to be regulated. You know, like they have to put a certain amount in there.

[Dan Reichert]

Milligrams max.

[Mary Kish]

Just like beer. Okay.

[Mike Mahardy]

Or wine.

[Mary Kish]

Five years ago in Portland, they would be like, do you want a slushy? From our slushy machine, we're also adding like two droppers of THC into it.

[Dan Reichert]

We'd be just loosely. Just like. Like jungle juice.

[Mike Mahardy]

Shake it up with weed.

[Mary Kish]

And if they're like feeling it, they just put more droppers in.

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, I don't like that. I like the. I like knowing exactly how many milligrams I'm getting. That would drive me insane.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, it was the wild west. There was a point in time. This was like before the government recognized that you really need to regulate this. Where Portland was just shoving it in.

[Mike Mahardy]

Any drink very things.

[Mary Kish]

You could add it as a Bonus. You could be like, yeah, I'll have a. You know, like, I would like a whiske soda. And put two droppers of fucking weed in there.

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, my God.

[Mike Mahardy]

An hour after Mary has a slushy, she's just at the table.

[Mary Kish]

It did happen to me. I definitely did, like, accidentally, like, have way too much of my, like, dropper or whatever at one point. I probably happened to a lot of people, which is probably why they regulated the out of it. I just think, like, it's interesting because we're often the testing grounds of what ends up happening with the rest of the United States. So when everyone's like, so crazy, like, you can buy weed now, but, you know, you do have to have the little fake license you get. That was like, us, like, 10 years ago. And now it's just, like, crazy over here.

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, geez.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah, you are kind of like, you.

[Mary Kish]

Guys, like, you know, drugs soon.

[Mike Mahardy]

Oh, speaking of drugs, I watched Dread from 2012. Finally.

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, that's a great one. The Car and Lena Heady. Yeah.

[Mike Mahardy]

Really good movie, Daniel. Like, like giant bombies. Guys have been recommending it. Well, the poster was in the studio up there.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah, it was.

[Mike Mahardy]

It's a good movie.

[Dan Reichert]

Fantastic.

[Mike Mahardy]

What's the drug called? It, like, it slows their perception of time.

[Dan Reichert]

I forget what it's called, but it's a very movie drug name. Yeah, that's a video game of a movie. Yeah, that's right. It's a total video game of a movie. Like, in the best way.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah, it's very. It almost had Zack Snyder vibes, which I don't usually. Like the comic book. Comic book. Like, better ways to put it. Like, it had Sin City. Who did. Was that Zack Snyder?

[Dan Reichert]

I think that might have been Zack Snyder.

[Mike Mahardy]

It had, like. It definitely had the comic book influence, but it was good. I liked it.

[Dan Reichert]

Okay.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah, yeah, it's a good movie. If you haven't seen it, it's like an hour and a half of cool stuff like this. He's just really badass cop. I think we need more cop movies is what I'm trying to say. Speaking of regulating drugs and.

[Mary Kish]

And, yeah, more stops, more drugs.

[Dan Reichert]

I mean, there are a lot of good cops, for sure.

[Mike Mahardy]

Less drugs, more tariffs, higher percentages.

[Mary Kish]

No, less eggs, less.

[Dan Reichert]

I'm gonna put all this on my soundboard.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah. Be really good. Play it. But don't tell anybody who is saying it. I don't know.

[Dan Reichert]

No context.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah, I don't think I have, like a. You can. You know, when it's Jeff Grubb you know, when it's Mike Minati talking, I'll.

[Dan Reichert]

Talk about the clitoris all day.

[Mike Mahardy]

There you go. You don't really know when it's clitoris.

[Dan Reichert]

Jacked up in a rainforest cafe. What do you mean? Can you guess who that is? Guess who it is.

[Mike Mahardy]

Jacked off in a rainforest cafe.

[Dan Reichert]

You think it's Bacalar?

[Mike Mahardy]

I think it's Gilbert Godfrey.

[Dan Reichert]

Is that Tamur? Who was that? It could be anyone.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah, I don't. Yeah, I don't. I think you could play a sound bite of me saying more tariffs, and I don't think people would know what it is, who it is.

[Dan Reichert]

Maybe not.

[Mike Mahardy]

No, people would not know whom.

[Dan Reichert]

It's not as fun as jacking off in a rainforest cafe.

[Mike Mahardy]

No. Did he do that? Was that a thing?

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, yeah.

[Mike Mahardy]

Nice. I have more respect for him now. I have less. Yeah, it's fair.

[Dan Reichert]

He's listening. Hi, Mike.

[Mary Kish]

It was low before.

[Mike Mahardy]

Does he listen to Firescape?

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, yeah. Yeah, he definitely does.

[Mike Mahardy]

Hey, Mike.

[Dan Reichert]

It kills him whenever we talk about, like, JRPGs and stuff. He hates it.

[Mike Mahardy]

Hey, I like JRPGs. I submitted one for our top 100. Mary did not include it in the actual bracket, though.

[Dan Reichert]

Which one?

[Mike Mahardy]

Persona 5 and Octopus, Traveler 2 and Kingdom Heart. Oh, actually, Mike, you respect this. Dan, you were very taken aback that I had Kingdom Hearts as an honorable mention.

[Dan Reichert]

That is fucked up.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah. I don't think you knew that I liked that game. Yeah, the first one, not the other 12.

[Dan Reichert]

What? What did you. Don't strike me as that guy. What do you like about it?

[Mike Mahardy]

It's. It's, like, mostly nostalgia. I played it and I. Disney nostalgia or. No, no, no, no. Just that game. Specifically the music, the soundtrack. That game is, like, the most I've ever been into Final Fantasy. No, that's not true. I like Final Fantasy 6, but that's about it. Like, remake was cool. I've not touched Rebirth yet, but I don't know, something about Kingdom Hearts, the vibes of it.

[Mary Kish]

Well, then you should have put it higher on your list.

[Mike Mahardy]

No, no. I'm not saying that shouldn't have been there, but Persona 5 was high on my list. It was, like, number 15 for me.

[Mary Kish]

It was not.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah, it was, actually. Where was it? Let me look. I haven't played it five times, like somebody we know, but.

[Dan Reichert]

Well, it would have been annihilated in the first round.

[Mike Mahardy]

I don't even know. Yeah, very fair. Unless it went up against.

[Mary Kish]

I just. I was like, if you guys feel really strongly about a game and you're like, it's very important that it's in this show. I was like, put it high on your list.

[Dan Reichert]

Hey, some of the.

[Mike Mahardy]

Speaking of wine, does this look highbrow to you?

[Dan Reichert]

What am I looking at?

[Mike Mahardy]

It's a wine zine called Noble Rot. Look at it.

[Dan Reichert]

A wine zine. What about this looks high brow to you, audio listener? He's got.

[Mike Mahardy]

Look at that.

[Dan Reichert]

He's just got a wine zine. I don't know what else to say about this.

[Mary Kish]

Look at this.

[Dan Reichert]

I don't know what I'm looking at. It's essays about wine with cartoons.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

First of all, none of these images have wine. I don't think it's a very good.

[Dan Reichert]

We got a guy in an ascot drinking wine.

[Mike Mahardy]

That's Benedict Cumberbatch. Kira Knightley writes for this magazine. She's super into wine. She's a zine.

[Mary Kish]

Proven anything.

[Dan Reichert]

No, this is doing nothing.

[Mike Mahardy]

You think that doesn't look like that.

[Mary Kish]

That doesn't look like it's for wine.

[Mike Mahardy]

Look at those. Look at these.

[Mary Kish]

Stop it.

[Dan Reichert]

Pointing at a man's chest.

[Mike Mahardy]

It's muscles. That's a bicep. It's a big one.

[Mary Kish]

At some point they become boobies. When they're that big.

[Mike Mahardy]

Look at. I mean, we don't need to keep.

[Dan Reichert]

Looking at your wine zines, Mike.

[Mike Mahardy]

Look at this. Look at that little person.

[Mary Kish]

Nobody cares.

[Mike Mahardy]

Like hiking at the bottom of a page. Look at this. A vineyard.

[Mary Kish]

Oh, what a weirdo.

[Mike Mahardy]

Wine's cool. Be into it.

[Dan Reichert]

Nobody don't mind wine at all. I'll take wine over Kingdom Hearts, but.

[Mary Kish]

I think it could be cooler. And I also think that's super fair.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah, no, it could. I agree. Everything could be cooler.

[Mary Kish]

Video Persona 5, number 25 on your list.

[Dan Reichert]

It's pretty low.

[Mike Mahardy]

That's pretty low.

[Mary Kish]

You busted out that wine zine to distract me from your hypocrisy. Thought it would be a real piece of shit.

[Mike Mahardy]

She's your laser focused today. I did not expect that.

[Mary Kish]

I'm not letting you get away with it.

[Dan Reichert]

I'm on Mary's good side. She recommended. You recommended a game and I played it, so I. Good side?

[Mike Mahardy]

Do we want to talk about video games now? Are we done?

[Mary Kish]

I mean, I think this is transitional and I'll tell you why. This isn't so much about, like, what games we've been playing recently. This is a game I played Last EPI and I was like. I'm actually surprised with how much I liked it. It was completely shocking and like daring. I Think it's a bit controversial, but I think it's. I think it's great, and I really recommend it. It's called My side.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

And I was like, I don't think Dan will probably play this. But I was like, I do recommend that Dan play it. And so when we finished recording the episode, Dan DM me and said, I actually do have, like, time. I don't need to go to bed yet. I am feeling it. So I might stream this game. And I went, oh, my God, if you stream this game, I will sit in chat and I will watch it with you. And I said, just promise me that you, like, won't quit immediately. There are some, like, waifu, because that's the. That's, like, the hook of this game is that it's, like, It's. It's joking that maybe you're, like, playing a waifu sim game, but the joke.

[Mike Mahardy]

Is that it's a game Dan wouldn't like, but you think that it. He would like it once he sees what it's about.

[Mary Kish]

You have to get past that part. So promise me you'll at least play, like, 15, 20 minutes. And he was like, okay, well. And he boots this game up. I don't know if, like, Dan, you want to explain your experience, but, like, I'm in chat the whole time going, like, please don't quit. Please do not quit.

[Dan Reichert]

And I didn't. I went for longer than I said I would.

[Mary Kish]

You did go for longer than you said you would. There were some risky things. There was also stuff you liked, like cutting the vegetables, like the.

[Mike Mahardy]

Oh, yeah.

[Dan Reichert]

It's like a mini game.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, yeah, the game has a lot of mini games where, like, this waifu girl is like, come into this game with me. And you, like, literally get sucked into the game. And she's like, help me cook. And she's like, play it. Play a game with me. Play. Play, like, this shitty little, like, fake console game with me. And it was funny because you won. Even though she's supposed to get, like, a lot better at the game. But you actually.

[Dan Reichert]

I'm not gonna go easy on her.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, you whooped her ass. Yeah, I know what I'm doing. She's cute. But there were parts where you were, like, getting really concerned. I think at one point she was like. She was like, let's go into my. My bedroom. And you were like, I'm not going to jail. And everyone in chat, myself included, were like, yelling like, you have to go into the bedroom. It's a part of the experience. Of this game. You're, you're not gonna go to jail. Like you're not gonna get in trouble. But you were like very apprehensive because she kept it. It's the illusion that maybe there's like something weird or pervy going on but it doesn't. Nothing happens. You play this game.

[Dan Reichert]

I wasn't risking jail time.

[Mary Kish]

You did a good job and I respect your choices. But my, my problem here is like there's this very iconic clip and I do think we should clip it of your stream where something is rattling in her dresser. Her stand up dresser. Right. And it feels not good. Like there's something wrong. And she's like, don't ignore my dresser and play this game with me. And you're like, okay. But everyone, you, the audience, everyone were like looking at the dresser. Something's going on. Why is it rattling? Why is it shaking? Like what's going on? And so you finally stand up and you walk up to the dresser and you put your hand out to open it and she gets in the way and she goes stop it. How dare you invade my privacy. That's where I keep my underwear. And you shut the game down without, without a second thought.

[Dan Reichert]

I forgot what it was that made me shut the game down. But that checks out.

[Mary Kish]

That is literally where.

[Dan Reichert]

You all right? Nope, I'm good. Getting out of here.

[Mary Kish]

And everyone in chat goes, no, no, no, no. That's the moment where that's not a good like all.

[Dan Reichert]

I'm not looking at some anime girls underwear. I'm not doing that. Getting hauled off in a paddy wagon. It's not happening.

[Mike Mahardy]

It's just not a wagon.

[Mary Kish]

You don't want it. You don't get. Yeah. Carried away.

[Mike Mahardy]

I guess you're going to miss the panty.

[Dan Reichert]

No, I don't. 40 year old married man. I'm not looking at the anime underpants.

[Mary Kish]

That's what happens when you break the law. The cops come and throw you in a panty wagon.

[Dan Reichert]

No, not really.

[Mike Mahardy]

That's where the phrase comes from. What is in her dresser that she's hiding?

[Dan Reichert]

I don't know. I got the fuck out of there.

[Mary Kish]

It's a really big spoiler but it's kind of where the game takes a dark twist.

[Mike Mahardy]

Oh, Dan couldn't stomach some underwear.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah. The concept of this game is that it starts like a cute little waifu sim but it gets really dark. And that's I think what's so interesting about it. But the more I say, the more it spoils. All of the twists and Turns of this game. So what was such a bummer is that Dan got through all of the, like, mini games of cutting carrots and vegetables and playing games with his, like, little waifu girlfriend. And then the second she said underwear, he was like.

[Dan Reichert]

Look, you give me some warioware cookie mama mini games, I'm game to go along with that. But you start talking about underpants in an anime game, and I'm.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, but if Princess Peach is like, stay away from my undie drawer, you're like, I hate this game. 2 out of 10.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah. Princess Peach started talking about her panties, I would disavow Mario.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah, right. You j it.

[Dan Reichert]

I would have major issues of Princess peach in the Switch 2 Mario game. Was like, check out my panties. I'd be like, I don't know what happened to Miyamoto. This isn't the Miyamoto I know.

[Mike Mahardy]

The Switch 2 is going a bold new direction. The launch game next to Mario Kart, whatever. Is Princess Peach's panties.

[Mary Kish]

Panty raid.

[Dan Reichert]

No.

[Mary Kish]

Catch them.

[Dan Reichert]

I'll play Metroid Prime 4. I'm just playing the panty Princess game and the sequel.

[Mike Mahardy]

Jack Off Mario.

[Dan Reichert]

Look, if Jack Off Mario is a Switch 2 launch game, that will be bold in a way, I would respect that.

[Mike Mahardy]

They're trying to, like, you know, showcase the haptics.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah.

[Dan Reichert]

It's a hd.

[Mike Mahardy]

It's a translation thing in Japan. It means something different. Yeah, it's.

[Dan Reichert]

You can use one or two joycons.

[Mike Mahardy]

Really bad translation.

[Mary Kish]

You have done this in the mini games and have enjoyed it, but that's.

[Dan Reichert]

Chicken episode in Mario Party. That's totally innocent. I'm not whacking off my Mario.

[Mike Mahardy]

Only ever time I've done that.

[Mary Kish]

Totally innocent. I think that, like, we're skirting a line here, and I don't think her saying she's gaslighting you in that scene. She's saying, don't go in there. That's where I keep my panties to prevent you from wanting to go in there.

[Dan Reichert]

It works. I would leave. I would leave the facility and call the police if that happened.

[Mary Kish]

But that's how she tricked you. Because there was. There was something in there that was worth seeing. It wasn't Danny.

[Mike Mahardy]

She easily manipulated Dan.

[Mary Kish]

She manipulated you, and she. She won. I think you should boot it up again. You got manipulated, and I think you should open up the closet and see what's in there.

[Dan Reichert]

Nope. Already uninstalled. I gave it a shot. I did what I said I was gonna do.

[Mike Mahardy]

Like, burned it in the backyard at FBI.

[Mary Kish]

I just wanted to let you know that the soonest she brought up panties. I have deleted this game.

[Dan Reichert]

And I did two rosaries. I called the FBI. I did everything I was supposed to do.

[Mike Mahardy]

Dan gets taken to Guantanamo because he continues playing the game. Yeah. People get thrown in there for less.

[Dan Reichert]

That's true. Yeah.

[Mike Mahardy]

So let's. Yeah, let's talk, like torture and tariffs and your favorite things. Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

Talk about games.

[Mike Mahardy]

Do you want to talk about games?

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah, let's do games. Let's do games.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah. All right, we're back. No, what were you saying? You're just about to, like, talk about someone because you didn't know I was coming back yet from the break. What were you saying?

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah, yeah, go ahead, tell the people.

[Mike Mahardy]

Talking about Mike Minati.

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, no.

[Mary Kish]

Mike Minati.

[Dan Reichert]

I do, too. He's like, one of my favorite people.

[Mike Mahardy]

So do I. But you were just talking shit about him, Mary, what were you saying? All right, so we talked about my side. I mean, the clitoris and that. We talked about the clitoris. Okay. I'm very curious. I have AC shadows downloaded, Dan, I believe. Have you both tried it?

[Mary Kish]

I've tried it, but I'm only two hours in.

[Mike Mahardy]

I'm like, that's a decent sample size. That's a better sample size.

[Mary Kish]

You're the one. And then I have questions for you because I'm enjoying it so far, but I'm very early in.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah, I'm excited to try it.

[Dan Reichert]

I. I historically have greatly disliked the Assassin's Creed series. The only one I liked enough to beat was the second one. And even then I thought that was, like, that's a good 8 out of 10 game. It kept my interest. There wasn't a lot else that I wanted to play at the time. So I don't love it, but it's, you know, whatever. And I haven't even really touched the last couple. Like, just the settings. It was like grease and stuff. Just. I don't know, big axes and VI and stuff. Didn't. That's not really my thing. So this one being like, oh, okay. It's like more like a. It's like. Like ninja, you know, shinobi type stuff. I was like, I'll. I'll give this a try here. So I always liked the idea of that. Like, I remember, like, Tenchu back in the day being like, oh, I'll just sneak around on rooftops and throw, you know, shurikens and stab people. But I suck at stealth, and I've always hated the Assassin's Creed style of stealth. There were so many just like, instant fail type shit. And. And I started up Shadows. You know, I always look at the options of everything. Got to turn off motion blur on everything. I saw there were separate difficulty sliders for combat and stealth. And I was like, oh, okay. Because I like combat and I'm good at combat. Stealth I don't like and I'm not good at. And so I saw when you bring it down, it's like, oh. So enemies will take longer to react to stuff. Basically saying like, hey, they're gonna be dumber. You can sneak up on these motherfuckers and just stab them way easier. And I'm like, that sounds great. That sounds perfect.

[Mary Kish]

You altered it.

[Mike Mahardy]

I'm sorry. I. I just fucking love the guy who doesn't like stealth and is bad.

[Dan Reichert]

I know. I've heard it. All right.

[Mike Mahardy]

Anyway.

[Dan Reichert]

I've heard it a million times.

[Mike Mahardy]

I know. Yes.

[Dan Reichert]

But also, I second stealth in the Metal Gear games, too. I just like the story enough that I'll shoot everyone. Yeah.

[Mike Mahardy]

I'm not gonna beat a dead horse. Sorry.

[Mary Kish]

I think that Dan is, like, really good at compartmentalizing because he has PTSD from some kind of wartime trauma. And so he's gotten really good at putting certain parts of his brain in a box and why don't talk about Korea. Yeah, you can have.

[Mike Mahardy]

He was that chosen.

[Mary Kish]

Thoughts that should not align. And they can both be Dan.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah.

[Mike Mahardy]

She's a complex human being. I agree. You were talking about shadows. Stealth has separate sliders. I think Valhalla and Odyssey had that as well.

[Dan Reichert]

Okay. But those seemed especially boring, even for Assassin's Creed. Like, the setting. I just. I just. Something about the big axes and, like, I'm sure you can get swords and stuff. I don't know that. Just Viking and all that.

[Mike Mahardy]

Valhalla, specifically.

[Dan Reichert]

Sure.

[Mike Mahardy]

Was Greece. Completely different millennium.

[Dan Reichert]

Probably. It's their neighbors. Like, I don't know. It's same thing.

[Mary Kish]

No compartmentalization from.

[Mike Mahardy]

They're not neighbors in any sense, time or geographically.

[Dan Reichert]

Okay. History major. Yeah. I'm sure their wine field didn't interlink.

[Mike Mahardy]

I'm not a history major. I just played both games.

[Dan Reichert]

I'm talking out of my ass because I don't know what I'm talking about.

[Mary Kish]

It's probably one of his books back there gave all this insight.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yep.

[Dan Reichert]

I guess I'm just trying to say that ninjas seem cool.

[Mary Kish]

Yes.

[Dan Reichert]

And the other stuff didn't seem cool to me.

[Mike Mahardy]

No, I agree. Ninjas. And Yusuke is a samurai, correct?

[Dan Reichert]

Well, yeah. And, like, I played 10 hours. And like, I played as the guy for like the very beginning. And then you switch to the ninja lady very quickly and it's like, oh, man, hell, I'm super mobile. And like, I got this grappling hook and like, it actually felt really good. Like, I used to hate the climbing mechanics of Assassin's Creed. I felt like just the controls never did exactly what you wanted them to do. I'd hop off buildings without meaning to and all this shit, it all just works the way you want it to. Here it's just like, okay, hold forward and X and you're gonna do a bunch of cool hopping up climbing stuff and grappling hooks, swing. All that stuff all felt great. Stabbing dudes felt awesome. A lot of good physics stuff. Like all the destructible, like boxes and bamboo and stuff. Everything was just kind of like tickling my brain in the right way. I was like, oh, shit. I might actually like, like this Assassin's Creed game.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, the slicing of the. There's like baskets of stuff. And when you're killing people with your samurai sword, if you slice through a basket, slices down at this like fun angle. Like it really was sliced with a sword, not. You know what I mean? It doesn't just cut in half or explode. It looks sliced through with a sword. It's. That's fun. Like that there's a lot of, like, put in the little details to make you feel like you're throwing a sword around.

[Dan Reichert]

Totally. Like, there's those little satisfying things that just like, you wouldn't expect. It's not like a scripted thing. It's just like, oh, man. Okay. I just dove through this paper door and stabbed a dude. And like, that type of shit's really fun. And then there was stuff I was really appreciating too, where it's like, I would just be running around exploring and I would see like some dudes that had like enemy health bars and be like, all right, I'm gonna kill these dudes. Don't know what their deal is. And I'd kill them and it would do the big, like, flourish where it's like, you killed this high ranking guy that helped murder your family or whatever. It's like, oh. And it took me to the like objective screen and it wasn't. I wasn't even like tracking a quest. I just found a dude and he looked evil and I killed him. And I was like, oh, that's awesome. And it reminded me of like mercenary.

[Mary Kish]

To kill everybody, you know?

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, I was just killing everyone.

[Mike Mahardy]

Does that. That sounds almost like the fact that there was supposed to be this gravitas around the kill and there wasn't. Almost sounds bad.

[Dan Reichert]

No, I think it's awesome because it's like, I like that about an open world game where it's like, sure, you can follow the quest and everything and get all the story stuff and then wind up killing him, but in real life, like, you know, sometimes you just run across evil guy and I guess that doesn't happen in real life, but.

[Mike Mahardy]

I think, you know, your parents is my point. Okay. No, no, no. Right. I'm really not trying to shit on this. I. I like, I'm excited to play this. And I've played every single Assassin's Creed. Every single one. I love this series.

[Dan Reichert]

But do you play like, Mercenaries? Playground of destruction.

[Mike Mahardy]

Have I played Mercenaries? Player? I am Mercenary. Have I played Mercer?

[Dan Reichert]

Okay. All right. I figured that seems like a mic game. Okay. Yes.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah. All right.

[Dan Reichert]

What? You know the deck of 52 thing? And it's like the same thing. You could be like just driving around the mountains or in a helicopter. It's like, oh, there's the jack of spades, and you go down there and you crash a helicopter into his head and kill him. That. It gave me that type of feeling, like, I can just find these guys in the world and kill them. That's good. And so, yeah, that's. That's all to say that, like, for the opening hours, there was just a lot of stuff that I was like, oh, shit, this is clever. This is cool. Like, it's clearly a very well made game. But I also was knowing the whole time that, like, oh, as soon as something comes along, like right now I'm not. I don't have any new games I'm playing, really. As soon as something does come around, I'm gonna probably drop this and fall off and not come back. Like, I wasn't hooked on that level. And sure enough, this game that we'll talk about on the next episode came along and I was like, well, this is all I'm playing now. And I look back at it now, it's like, yes, I do think Shadows is one of the best Assassin's Creeds I've played. But at the same time, a lot of the stuff I don't like about the series, namely, it's just dry and boring and, like, I don't give a fuck about any of these characters or anytime there's a cutscene, it's just like, these are the most boring fucking characters I can imagine. Even Though ninjas are cool and the settings cool and everything. It's just like. Like, I hated the voice acting, the English voice acting, and then I switched it to immersive mode, which is like a mix of the actual, like, Portuguese and Japanese and stuff. And that helped a lot. But, like, still, the actual story and the characters were just boring me to tears. So don't know if I'll be going back, but I will say that, like, I did not. I'm not even saying I didn't hate it. I'm gonna say I did enjoy it. I think it's a good game. I just don't think I'm gonna go back to it.

[Mike Mahardy]

Are they doing a good job of encouraging you to play as both characters, or are you just sticking to.

[Dan Reichert]

I haven't gone back. I've only had. I saw the guy at the very beginning during, like, a tutorial, and then I've been now a or, you know, the girl for like eight plus hours and has not even mentioned the dude again. I can't. It's not a GTA swap back to him type thing yet. I don't know. Maybe it does once you go back to him.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah. Because I liked. I love Assassin's Creed Syndicate, the London Industrial Revolution 1 with Jacob and Evie, brother and sister. That was super cool because you could.

[Mary Kish]

Choose which story arc you were watching based on which one you were swapping to.

[Mike Mahardy]

And that was more of a case of they both function the same way. Their animations were just very different. He was more brute force, brass knuckle kind of stuff. She was like, acrobatic and stab in between specific ribs kind of fighting. But I was curious. I had seen in previews that use a case, for instance, cannot crawl through small holes. Like she can. Have you encountered artificial stuff like that that's like, oh, he can't do this very menial thing?

[Dan Reichert]

Hard to say, considering I haven't played Adam.

[Mike Mahardy]

Or rather, I guess in your case, have you seen anything that she can't do that he supposedly can?

[Mary Kish]

I know that she can. Can he grapple? Because when we played as him, all he did was fight sequences. And she's the one who is acrobatic and has the grapple and the ability to, like, tiptoe and, like, swan dive and stuff like that. So I would be surprised if they have a grapple for him, but maybe they do.

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, like the grappling hook thing?

[Mary Kish]

Yeah.

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, yeah. Huh.

[Mary Kish]

Because the curse thing is Silent Assassin. That's like her whole mobility bag. And every time we Play him. It's like you're in. So you're in war. Go kill all these people, and you just throw your sword around.

[Mike Mahardy]

He's like maces and shit too, right? I've seen he gets like, these, like, long sticks later on.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, he has heavier. And I think he's like, more about. There's like a parry system and stuff to make sure that. But what I found was interesting is, like, when you're. When you're doing combat as him, it's like, here's how you parry. Here's, like, how you dodge. Just make sure. And then as soon as you play as her, they were like, if you see this red light, that means it's an unparryable, right? Attack. You have to dodge it. And that was not shown with the guy.

[Dan Reichert]

So he's more brute force. Like. Yeah, yeah, okay.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah. But I. But to her, we haven't played as. I swear, you play as the guy for like the first 30 minutes and you kill a bunch of people. And then I played as the girl the rest of the time, and I really liked her, but she has a totally different combat style and she's much more focused on, you know, dance up this wall, get behind them, and then stab him in the neck. And that's what she does. Like, that's her thing.

[Mike Mahardy]

But you.

[Dan Reichert]

You.

[Mike Mahardy]

Sorry if you said this already. Have either of you gotten to the point where you can switch at will if you wanted to?

[Dan Reichert]

No, No. I literally have not seen the guy since the first, like, 30 minutes.

[Mike Mahardy]

I thought you were doing that out of choice.

[Dan Reichert]

No, I did. Yeah. The game has not acknowledged that man for, like, 10 hours.

[Mary Kish]

It's all about her and her mask journey. She's trying to get this mask. She's very upset about it. Every time she's riding her horse, they always add in. You know, they add in the little horse pieces of duck. Oh, the horse is actually quite effective. You are fast on this horse. It's really fun to. To be able to ride a horse, but when you're riding a distance, they'll always say something. And she's always like, I've gotta get that mask back. And it's just like, I know I'm the one who's playing this. Usually when there's like a dialogue in horse riding, in a game, it's to add color commentary, right? Like, between characters that you can learn more about them and their past and their history or, like, their dynamic. But in this game, her. Her horse commentary is like, as I have said previously, I have to get this mask back. It's very important. It's just like. Yeah, I know that.

[Dan Reichert]

I don't wear a mask at all. What's the mask? I thought they just like, killed your dad or something.

[Mike Mahardy]

No, they did. The moon's falling to earth and you got three days to beat the game.

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, I see. Yeah, I was going to say. Oh, I wonder if they're not saying it as much with me or if I just forgot. I probably just forgot it's the second. Or wasn't paying attention.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, you were probably like, we're looking at, you know, blue sky. And then the cutscene had ended.

[Dan Reichert]

No.

[Mary Kish]

And you were like, share the screen.

[Dan Reichert]

And I play the game.

[Mike Mahardy]

I'm so popular.

[Mary Kish]

What's going on in this game?

[Dan Reichert]

No, I'm not a phone game guy. I'm really not.

[Mike Mahardy]

No, I know to your credit, you. You don't. You're not like, on listening to podcasts while you watch movies, you're very attentive.

[Dan Reichert]

With movies, but with games, actually, honestly, with. With this, it was so boring and I did give such zero shits about the story that I did wind up, like listening to podcasts and stuff and just running around, jumping up buildings and finding treasure chests and stuff.

[Mary Kish]

I do like jumping around, though. I think it is a really well made. The. The scene I played with the girl, which is, by the way, to get the mask back. The very first thing you do with her, Dan.

[Dan Reichert]

I stab guys. I don't know.

[Mary Kish]

Okay, well, I think it was extremely well designed. The space was designed for you to play and be able to like, hop, skip, and jump your way through the building. That feels good to you. I don't think it was obvious. There's always like this commentary about, like, white paint, right? Like, like where you want them to go. Scheme does not do that, but it uses really good visual cues where it's like. So when you get to the first building, there's two giant guards at the building that are like, you're not coming in here. And it's like, okay, I guess I'm not going in there. And so you look around the building and there's just these boards against the building. And it's like, I'm a ninja. I bet I can run against those boards. Again, there's no white paint. There's nothing, like, very glaringly obvious. It's just a visual cue that I think is for the average gamer. You're gonna be like, I'm a ninja. I bet I can do that. And sure as shit you absolutely can. There'll be these pillars throughout the location where it's like, again, there's no color or, like, lighting cues. It's just, you're a ninja. I bet I could jump from pillar to pillar really delicately, and sure as shit, you absolutely can. It gave you really nice, delicate ways of guiding you through the space, but did not feel forced. Didn't feel like it was telling me what to do. I just felt like I was playing in the space and being a really cool, fun ninja the whole time. I think they. I think they handled that first area like it was designed impeccably, and they.

[Dan Reichert]

Had that across the whole open world. Like, I remember having that thought when there's, like, these big pirate ships in the ocean. I don't know if you went there, but, like, you can climb on. You can climb up to the very top of these masts and all this stuff. And the pirate ships are conveniently close enough to where you could jump from, like, the top of a mast onto, like, you know, the board on another one. And it's like. But like Mary said, it's not like, hey, check it. You should jump from ship to ship. It's just like, oh, I bet I could. And then it's like, yep, all right. I thought of that. That's cool. Like, the parkour step does feel pretty great in this game.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, I think it's. It's been constructed in a way that for the first time in a long time, I feel like it's encouraging you to play with the space design and run around like a fun little ninja that you are. I did not want to be discovered. One time I was accidentally discover discovered, and I actually re. I restarted because I was like, I don't want to fight my way through this space. It is more fun for me to acrobatically dance around the space. And that really was a joy for me to just, like, run around and use my. My zip line or whatever it is I could to, like, get through the different areas. And it does encourage you. There'll be some cues. One of them was like, hey, you'll be able to see people better if you get to a high advantage point. So I was like, all right. If you look around the space just like, the ship, you will find the highest piece of wood that they want you to clearly climb. And then they have a tagging system just like Metal Gear, where you can, like, tag all the enemies so that you know where to not to go, because you'll be discovered once you do all that stuff. I feel like They've given you enough tools where you can be sneaky. I did not alter the game's settings and I. I figured it out. Like, I don't think I'm the most sneaky person either, Dan. And they gave me enough where I could do it without getting discovered and that felt really good for me.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah. And I appreciate the level of like accessibility stuff and you know, just combat and like the options, like more options are never a bad thing. And I was impressed at the suite they give you in this.

[Mary Kish]

I agree. I think people are really liking it. I'm going to be playing it some more. It's kind of taken place of a vowed right now for me because it's. It's my console game of choice right now. I'm going to play. I'm going to play a lot more of it. I owe a lot more of it and I am looking forward to it.

[Mike Mahardy]

Elephant in the room. I think there's like discourse online going around about, oh, like Ghost of Sushima already did this. Better half of me is like, I think they kind of shot themselves in the foot Ubisoft way back in the day when Alex Hutchinson was like, oh, Japan's too obvious or whatever. Like I think that set them back.

[Mary Kish]

A bit too obvious.

[Mike Mahardy]

But also I. I think there's more room. There's room enough for more than one open world game.

[Dan Reichert]

Feels different to me too. Like, I love.

[Mike Mahardy]

For the record, I. I love Ghost of Tsushima and I'm not saying I can't enjoy this as well. I'm saying is there any like it does. It's doing. It's separating itself from that. It feels different enough.

[Dan Reichert]

I mean there's a lot of just Assassin's Creed shit in this where it's like you are climbing tall temples and stuff like that. That like, you know, I don't remember the amount of like vertical mobility in Tsushima that this has.

[Mike Mahardy]

It's more grounded for sure.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah, yeah. It's just. It's got a different vibe to it, I think. I think I probably prefer Tsushima, but Yeah, it doesn't. This doesn't feel like, oh, it's just another one of those.

[Mike Mahardy]

Cool. I like I said I could very well like them both. I'm probably gonna play Shadows tonight if I get time because I really like. I like Assassin's Creed. I've been. There's even been titles I've kind of been an apologist about. I did not like Valhalla whatsoever. I got bored to death. I liked Odyssey, but it Got overloaded activities, Bloated Origins is my favorite Assassin's Creed of all time. So like, I'm curious see what they do with this new chapter.

[Mary Kish]

While we're comparing two games, do you mind if I transition to a game that I keep comparing to another game?

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah, go for it.

[Mary Kish]

So I'm finally playing. I think it's called Split Back Whatever Fiction. Split Fiction, yeah.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

I wrote it as Split Faction because I cannot remember.

[Mike Mahardy]

I was trying to remember the name. I read that. I was like, wait, what the fuck is the name? I know that's wrong.

[Mary Kish]

It's such a safari title. So Dan, you played this last EPI and you were talking about how you were actually really enjoying it. You played as pigs who fart and stuff like that. And you said it was really creative. So I was excited about it. So I also got this game and have been playing it. I have to be three fourths through this game. I feel very. Feel like I've almost beaten this game. Have you beaten the game? I'm just curious like what happened?

[Dan Reichert]

No. Bonk was at GDC for like a week, so we had to take, you know, I don't think I played since last time I talked about it. We are going to go back to it, but yeah. Yeah. You're beyond me at this point.

[Mary Kish]

Oh, okay, great. Well, I just. I've had a little bit of a different experience than you. I do think that it is creative and I think it's really interesting that you can play in lots of different spaces. Like you're in sci fi, then you're like in this like magical farm with giant vegetables. That is actually quite cute. I got to this area with like giant giants and you're running between their hands so they like come and scoop you up with their fingers and you like jump between giants, which visually looks cool. And right now I'm in a fantasy area where like I'm a fairy and the other person is like a. I'm going to say like a sea otter. And so like they're doing stuff in the water and I can ferry around half fly, I guess. And like, is that the one where.

[Dan Reichert]

There'S like the bamboo things and like the ocean thing can like move you while you're holding onto the bamboo and you're going through a river. Does that sound familiar?

[Mary Kish]

It's. I don't know if I'm seeing. I don't know if I can place exactly what you're visually saying, but there is a point where like the otter is like moving my stuff in the water so that I can get past brambles and like nets and like stuff. Yeah, I don't think it's an ocean. It's. It's like an underwater cave. So.

[Dan Reichert]

Okay. Okay.

[Mary Kish]

Anyway, I think there's some really cool, interesting stuff that this game is doing. I do really like that you can play into very different environments. Right. Like sci fi, changing it up to fantasy. It helps with our attention spans that every time I'm like, okay, I feel like I've seen enough of this future dystopia that it shoves me into a different world. So I think that is nice. But I think I'm a bit of a hater because this game isn't really doing any of these areas extremely well. I think because we're playing in these areas for a short period of time. By the time you really recognize that there's invisible walls everywhere, that it's kind of janky that you could like fall through the tomatoes or like the game doesn't want you to do very specific things. And the mechanically you are very limited. It's telling you literally what to do in every scene. By the time you're like, okay, I feel like I've seen it. They shove you in a new environment that you get to explore and think. I think it's tricking you into thinking that you have a lot of agency in this space, but you literally have none.

[Dan Reichert]

I guess devil's advocate on that point because I do agree with you in that it is very simple. Like the controls are very much like, okay, in this area you have, you know, your R2 does this and then you can just basically jump and dash. There's not a lot complicated going on. But I have to think that that would be kind of by design considering it's supposed to be a game that like you have to play co op. And I'm sure a lot of people are bringing in friends or significant others and stuff that are not maybe normally wouldn't play games be like, let's play this game together. And like, I think the kind of simplified controls and stuff probably help with that. But it doesn't mean you're wrong about what you're saying there. Like it is. It's not a complicated game by any means. It's just kind of a roller coaster ride of just like, now this. Now this is happening. Now this is happening.

[Mary Kish]

Don't forget to shoot the balloons. Yeah. Like it's. It's constantly telling you what to do so that you feel really busy and. And really valued. Both players at any skill level. And I will, I will acknowledge, I think you are right, that I think this is for lots of people at varying skill levels. So that you could play this with your younger brother, you could play this with like your girlfriend who like kind of is cool with your game, you know, hobby, but might not really want to play this. And you're like, this is a good in. I think this is a good in. As someone who like plays a lot of games and gets a thrill out of being able to play a game with another person co op. I think that there are other games that do this so tremendously better that it's just a bit of a bummer to play this and have these very simple puzzle designs spoon fed to me in between like kind of gimmicky spaces where I don't actually get the full breath of being able to play and enjoy. I think that Portal 2 walked so that this game could crawl.

[Dan Reichert]

Interesting. Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

I think there are other games that are doing it way better and I.

[Dan Reichert]

Think Portal 2 is. I definitely prefer Portal 2.

[Mary Kish]

It's a fucking decade old. You know what I mean? Like this we keep saying like, can you believe this game's for two people? And I'm like, yeah, I actually can. There's a lot of games that do that. So like, I don't think it's like this extraordinary, innovative thing. I think that the idea that this game is getting this high praise for doing it, maybe it's because it's doing it in such a handholdy way that we feel like everyone can participate and partake. But I think maybe it's hook.

[Dan Reichert]

I think the thing is that couch co op, which people misuse that term all the time. They think it's anytime it's in the same room, it's not co. Op. No, this is legitimately couch co op is not a thing as much anymore. It used to so be a thing, you know, all through the 8 and 16 bit and beyond era there was so much that. And I think since you kind of got online games and stuff like that and you know, multiplayer shooters and all that stuff, I think the idea of multiplayer is less, oh, I'm sitting down and playing Contra with my friend on the same couch. I think it is almost a throwback to like, okay, me and my friend or me and my wife are sitting on the couch playing together. And I, I think that's why it's gotten so much attention because it is, it's doing it very well at like a high level, you know, production wise. And there's Just not a lot. I. Everything you're saying is true. I mean, I don't think it is.

[Mary Kish]

Compared to the other games of its magnitude. I think that if you want to play a game with your little niece, who's not very good at games, I would recommend Rayman Legends, which is extremely good for both levels of play and is extraordinary. Designed to have co op experiences with other people where you can have fun. I think that there are, like, Mario games that do us extraordinarily better.

[Dan Reichert]

But even like Rayman Legends, you know, like, that was over a decade ago, I think, you know, so that. That's all just.

[Mary Kish]

That's right.

[Dan Reichert]

I don't think there's been so much.

[Mary Kish]

Room for improvement in a decade. I. I just. I think I am disappointed that, like, the fact that they're making the. So, okay, I hear your point. I think what I'm saying is, is, like, this game is getting a lot of praise that it's doing something that games aren't doing anymore, which I think means there is a hole in the market for co op games that we should be filling.

[Dan Reichert]

I agree.

[Mary Kish]

I am in agreement with that. I would love way more co op games to be in the market. I think that this game is, like, really limited with what it's doing, but I can see why everybody's obsessed with it. I think it's because it's doing something that everybody wishes they could be doing more with their friends, which is just, like, playing games together and enjoying, like, a nice co op experience.

[Dan Reichert]

That's fair. Yeah, I think that's totally fair.

[Mary Kish]

Okay. That's it. That's my.

[Dan Reichert]

Ultimately, I. Yeah, I'm not like, you know, I think it's a very good.

[Mike Mahardy]

I really hate split fiction. I call up yosef.

[Mary Kish]

Hey, dude, story sucks. And they're acting. Oh, yes. Sorry. I don't think it's their acting. I think the writing is, like, so exhausting. They did it again instead of having two people who are getting a divorce, which is like, jesus Christ, dude. Now it's two women who have complete opposite writing styles and don't respect each other. And so, you know, they'll be in one of their worlds, and the other one will be like, you wrote this? Like, are you okay? And it's just like, okay, well, I don't like her for saying that. And then they'll be in the other girl's world and she'll be like, hey, did you write this about, like, needing to owe money because something's going on in your real life and the girl's like, no, no, I don't owe anybody money. And it's just like, that's fucked up that both of these characters. It's up that you wrote that.

[Dan Reichert]

That, like, you live in the country, you idiot. You live in the city, you idiot.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, country bumpkin versus, like, city girl who owes money to a financial investor or something like that. And it's so obvious what they're doing.

[Dan Reichert]

But it's incredibly on the nose and obvious. And, yeah, I will not defend the writing at all. I just. Yeah, it's just that roller coaster co op thing. I do like it a lot, but I'm also not going to, like, you know, die on the split Fiction Hill or anything like that. Like, I don't know if it'll be my top 10 or anything.

[Mary Kish]

I'm gonna complete it. I think it's. I think it's doing its job and I do enjoy playing with other people. I think this is going to be just like the other one where it's like. I suspect that this is going to be like, one of these things where everyone's like, this is a game of a generation. Everybody needs to play this. And I'm like, I don't. I don't agree. I don't think this is, like, super monumental. I think it's showing us. And now, like, with this conversation, I feel really confident and saying, like, this is just showing us that there's a gap in the market. We should be making more games that we can enjoy playing with our buds casually on a couch. But, like, Jesus, can someone else try this?

[Dan Reichert]

Anyone but Joseph Barrett.

[Mary Kish]

I. I do think he does a decent job at it. I just think. I think that the amount of value we're placing in these games is. Is too damn high.

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, I'm totally with you on, like, look, It Takes Two had a lot of fun ideas and stuff, but by the end, Bonk and I were like, all right, this is going on too long. And then, like, when I won Game of the Year and stuff, it's like, oh, boy, that was fun for a bit. But that is. Game of the Year is crazy.

[Mary Kish]

You know, like, we all had the same reaction to It Takes Two, which was like, that was a great experience. It ain't gonna be in our top 10. Yeah, same.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah, yeah. No, I think we're closer than it may seem on our opinion on this. Yeah. What's ET ET for the Atari 26, based on the Steven Spielberg film.

[Mike Mahardy]

Very. Really like, that transition.

[Mary Kish]

Wait, the original ET from, like, 19 Dickety2 Yep.

[Dan Reichert]

The one that was so bad and they had to bury it in a landfill. Famously.

[Mary Kish]

You get stuck in like a hole, right?

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, so many holes. I got stuck in a billion holes.

[Mike Mahardy]

Oh, there's a Blight Club game, you said?

[Dan Reichert]

Well, it started as a Blight Club game and I beat those who don't know.

[Mike Mahardy]

That is the giant bombshell where they.

[Dan Reichert]

Like just play the worst games of all time. Yeah. And I got stuck with ET it's the worst game I've ever beaten for sure.

[Mary Kish]

No, you beat it though.

[Dan Reichert]

It is. It's very short. It's just. It's impossible to figure out what the fuck you're supposed to do. And you're just non stop falling into holes and it sucks ass. It looks like shit.

[Mary Kish]

It's an old emulator or did you play it on?

[Dan Reichert]

I played through grub sent me one of those Atari 2600 like the new. It's basically like the NES classic where you can like HDMI out. So I played with an Atari joystick. Okay. I played it on the actual cart. So actually it wasn't emulated. It was the cart of E.T. it is a piece of shit. Fast forward, you know, six, five or six days after that Blight Club episode. I am currently the number 10 speedrunner of that game in the world.

[Mary Kish]

What to play it? Yeah.

[Dan Reichert]

I mean there's a handful of people.

[Mary Kish]

On the leader finish this game.

[Dan Reichert]

There's not a ton, but I am number 10 in the world at speedrunning. ET I. God.

[Mike Mahardy]

Are you going to like keep going hard on that and move up?

[Dan Reichert]

I don't intend to play the game some more.

[Mary Kish]

Are you sure?

[Dan Reichert]

I know I did. I did. It's not good. But it's a funny thing to me to be one of the 10 best in the world at. So that's where I'm @ now with ET the extraterrestrial.

[Mary Kish]

How long is it to beat?

[Dan Reichert]

My last time was under two minutes.

[Mary Kish]

Oh.

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, yeah. One minute, 43 seconds is my number 10 world.

[Mike Mahardy]

How did you fill out?

[Dan Reichert]

Number one is. Let me see. It's the any percent no RNG manipulation leaderboard is 59 seconds. It's only one person in the world has done it in under a minute.

[Mary Kish]

Oh, you could do that.

[Dan Reichert]

You should see this game.

[Mary Kish]

It's not my time.

[Dan Reichert]

Get in there.

[Mary Kish]

Get it in there, get in there.

[Mike Mahardy]

Like how. I don't fully understand how you even beat in two minutes.

[Dan Reichert]

It's just very random. There's like six map screens and you have to go around and not fall in holes, which is the hardest part. And then you have to, like, randomize. You have to get three pieces of your fucking phone, and you have to ET Phone home. But then you have to like to call the spaceship. There can't be any other characters on the screen. So that's just random, basically. And then when the clock counts down for the spaceship to come down, it will only come down if there's no other characters on the screen. So it's a lot of just like, randomly finding these three phone pieces and then hoping there aren't an FBI agent or a scientist on the screen when the spaceship comes down. It fucking sucks.

[Mike Mahardy]

So that leaderboard that says no RNG manipulation, do they just mean they didn't just restart immediately when they got a bad.

[Dan Reichert]

No, you can do that. But the thing is, you can guarantee the same layout of where the phone pieces are if you start the first frame when the game starts up. So if you turn on the Atari wire, like holding in the button, you can guarantee the same seed each time. So it's like, I know this piece is here, this piece is here, this piece is here. So you can't do that for the leaderboard I'm on.

[Mary Kish]

How do you know that that guy didn't do it?

[Dan Reichert]

You can. I mean, all the videos have to be on speedrun.com so you can see, like, if it's on the title screen for even half a second.

[Mary Kish]

Okay.

[Dan Reichert]

They're not doing RG or RNG manipulation.

[Mary Kish]

That makes sense. Yeah, it's interesting. I love the speedrunning community. They're so crazy and, like, they insane. The levels of obsession and interest, it intrigues me greatly. And all the rules that they create because they don't want people cheating to get these top scores. To me, the number one person just literally played this game for a very, very long time until they got super lucky.

[Dan Reichert]

So, yeah, it's. It's an infuriating thing to do, but it's. It's very fun when you succeed.

[Mary Kish]

Get in there, Dan. Under a minute. Come on.

[Dan Reichert]

Ruin your life. Yeah, yeah.

[Mary Kish]

What else are you doing?

[Mike Mahardy]

What is. What's Wander stop. So you wrote it? You wrote it. Your order is dumb because I know I wrote it after. On the list, it's below this other game, but then in parentheses. You said talk about this before the game instead of just rearranging the list.

[Mary Kish]

Well, that was just to make sure you were paying attention.

[Mike Mahardy]

I am.

[Mary Kish]

Like, I wanted you.

[Mike Mahardy]

I'm always on my thinking. Okay, so what's Wander stop. And I will not Ask about spilled.

[Mary Kish]

Yet such a good transition.

[Mike Mahardy]

Thank you.

[Mary Kish]

Wander. Stop. Is the new game by, I hope I say Davey Redden. Okay. The Stanley Parable and the Beginner's Guide. This is like a person who like, is a very creative writer, but a very different game than Stanley Parable or the Beginner's Guide. Very different than all of the games that the studio, like the studio heads have made previously. This game is about making tea. Straight up. You are a angry killer who like, has a sword and a vendetta and you're like, I have to win and I have to kill all these people. But you're like overworking yourself and freaking out mentally. There's a lot of dialogue. I was. To be fair, this is just my vibe. And Dan, I think you'll agree, it's just very talky for like a beginning of a game.

[Dan Reichert]

I, I didn't start it up. I, I've seen lots of talkie to.

[Mary Kish]

Be able to explain her mental anguish, her like, frustration with like, not being at the level that she wants to be at, her like, disappointment or of her own expectations of herself. And so the beginning of this game is like a straight up 20 minute narrative overview of why she is so in the head. It helps paint a picture. I do not like 20 minutes of dialogue, so it really, it was a bit draining for me. But eventually, essentially what happens is like you're, you burn out, you freak out and you, you get helped by this dude who makes tea and he like takes you back to his coffee shop and he's like, why don't you just relax for a little bit? I'll show you how to make tea. My character hates this. The dialogue options are a little rude. It'll give me three options and he'll be like, do you want me to show you how to make tea? And my options will be like, no, I hate you. No, I never want to learn how to make tea. And. Oh, I guess. And it's just like, well, all these are bitchy and mean. So I'll pick the least bitchy of the three. I don't know why they gave me dialogue options if they're all mean, but I guess like, ultimately they don't want you to have too much direction with the fact that your character is a mean, frustrated, overworked, pissy girl. They slowly want, I think, to turn you into a relaxing tea lover, perhaps.

[Dan Reichert]

I see. Okay. So narratively there's a reason that they're.

[Mary Kish]

Doing that, I suppose at that point.

[Dan Reichert]

Like, why give the option?

[Mary Kish]

It's Just why give me three options if they're all mean mechanically? I really like the design of this space. I think it's beautiful. The tea shop is stunning. I love all the different ways that you get to make tea. It kind of has this whimsical. It reminds me of like, it reminds me of like a Harry Potter candy shop where they're just like, you know, these giant ladders that swing throughout the place so that because the teapot is so, so big and you have to like kick open a valve and like put the water in and make sure that it's boiled to the perfect temperature. And then you kick open another valve and it goes into the infusing center. And then you slide your ladder over and you put in your tea leaves and your flavors and it marinates. And then you kick open another valve and it goes into the perfect tea cylinder where you like put your teacup and you have to pour it just right so that the perfect amount of tea pours into the cup and it doesn't overflow, but it's not too low. And that feels good when you get it right. And then you deliver the tea to the person they've given you, you know, and they're like, oh, this is pretty good. Like, you should have some too. The game is filled with lots of little spaces where I can pour myself the same cup from that pot. And then I can go to a nice bench and I can sit on the bench and drink my tea. And I will think my character will have realizations or thoughts about what's going on with my life or like why I'm so stressed or frustrated. And I basically grow as a character every time I just sit and have a cup of tea. So I think I understand, I think what it's what it's trying to get me to do, which is like relax and like not worry so much about the day to day stresses and actually just enjoy making a cup of tea. But my dude, like, as someone who really likes playing games where I serve customers, you guys know that I really love those sims where plate up and yeah. And customers are like, I want this, but I don't want any blueberries. And I also took a big shit in the bathroom and you need to clean that up. And I'm like, oh my God, yes. Yes, sir. And so I'm like balancing on these plates. This game is like the opposite of that. I was shocked that like within the first hour of gameplay I had one customer. This is intentional, right? This is not an accident. They want me to Be relaxed and kind of like, enjoy the experience of a customer. But the second a customer showed up, I was like, hey, what kind of tea can I make you? And the guy was like, I don't know, like, life is so crazy and, like, I don't even know what I want. I was like, bitch, what do you want? Like, I'm so fucking ready to make this tea. I'm on another level. It's like, it's like I took Adderall and this game really wants me to take a sedative. And I. I am on the opposite playing field of, like, what this game wants me to be, but what I want to do with it.

[Dan Reichert]

That's a great way of putting it. I feel like I know exactly what you're talking about with that. Like, yeah, you like. Have you played like, cook, serve, delicious?

[Mary Kish]

Yes.

[Dan Reichert]

Where it's like those games where it's like, yeah, let's go. Like, that is a certain thing that you expect from, like, you know, cooking and serving and stuff like that. And it sounds like this is definitely going for a different vibe. And I think he was probably in a tricky spot. And Davey Redden with. With like his previous stuff being so meta and having weird, surreal twists and stuff like that, with a Beginner's Guide and Stanley Parable that it's almost that like, M. Night Shyamalan thing where it's like, you know, he kind of rose.

[Mary Kish]

You can't not have a twist, you little bitch.

[Dan Reichert]

The thing that made him big is just like a certain way. And then people have this certain expectation like, oh, this is. Where's the twist? Oh, I'm sure it's going to be a little tea making game, but then it's like you make an actual tea making game. Yeah.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah. Has Shaolin made a movie where just nothing changes to fuck with people and that's like, everything happens exactly as it plays out. I haven't watched his last, like, six.

[Mary Kish]

I've only seen a couple of them have a twist. I feel like all of them have six sense.

[Mike Mahardy]

I mean, I haven't watched in a while. That movie is really fucking good.

[Dan Reichert]

Last I was incredible. I haven't seen it. And since the 90s, even without, like, it was awesome. Yeah, it's just a great movie.

[Mike Mahardy]

And also is one of the, like, most underrated actors, especially in horror with Ari Esther pulling her back out for her hereditary. I like signs.

[Dan Reichert]

I like. I thought signs. That was one of my favorite movie theater experiences until, like, I did not, like, the end. I know that's the Common thing, but.

[Mary Kish]

Like, I don't have a twist. Yeah, I don't think that's a twist, though, is it?

[Mike Mahardy]

No, it's like, I think. Okay, good point. I think. I think that movie was very much him trying not to do a twist where it's like, oh, all the signs were there the whole time leading up to this. Like they're allergic to water, like it's toxic to them. He always swung and thought wrong not to swing. Yeah, he. He had asthma, so his lungs were closed up. It's like Shyamalan saying there wasn't a twist. I was. Everything happens. That's why he was a priest. Fucking Mel Gibson. I am an apologist for the Village, that movie.

[Dan Reichert]

I hated the Village. I think the Village is the one where I left the theater and, like, I think I'm fucking done with this guy.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, a lot of people.

[Mike Mahardy]

I get it. But, like, I like that movie.

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, I hated that.

[Mike Mahardy]

I don't blame.

[Mary Kish]

I didn't care for the Village. I do think it had good world building, but I just think sometimes kind of sucks the fun out of the room when you're like, what?

[Dan Reichert]

When the.

[Mike Mahardy]

I didn't like the twist. I just like the. I like the entire movie. Until he revealed what was really happening.

[Dan Reichert]

I think that's where I was. I think that made me mad. And then it's like, I didn't see the trees. Trees were trying to kill Mark Wahlberg or something. Oh, yeah. Dude.

[Mike Mahardy]

Good movie. Oh, I love.

[Dan Reichert]

Really?

[Mike Mahardy]

Lady.

[Dan Reichert]

Everyone hated that.

[Mike Mahardy]

Am I a huge Shyamalan fan? I'm just.

[Mary Kish]

You're a weirdo. Yeah.

[Mike Mahardy]

Have you seen lady in the Water?

[Dan Reichert]

No. Like I said, I'm done with them after the Village.

[Mike Mahardy]

An anus of a movie.

[Mary Kish]

I love it so bad.

[Mike Mahardy]

It's so stupid. It's. That's.

[Mary Kish]

It has a character who only works out one side of their body. And so one of these. One of their abs is super buff.

[Mike Mahardy]

And the other one, I think he's the pool guys. Oh, it's like a motel hotel where.

[Dan Reichert]

There'S, like, Holiday Inn.

[Mike Mahardy]

What's her name from the Village? Bryce Howard.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Mike Mahardy]

She's in the lady in the Water again. I think Shyamalan probably shows up at some point. The dude from Moonrise Kingdom, balding guy does the two camera stuff. In Moonrise Kingdom, he's in lady in the Water. But lady in the Water's whole thing is Shyamalan, like, deconstructing fiction, and it sucks.

[Dan Reichert]

Sounds awesome.

[Mike Mahardy]

He's like, oh, this is your role in the story. And then everybody misunderstands their role in the story. And then once they figure it out, it all works. There's like, a secret grotto in the deep end of the pool. Oh, my God. It's fucking awesome. The happening was also sick. What was that? What was the twist in the happening?

[Dan Reichert]

Like, it was trees want to kill you.

[Mike Mahardy]

No, that wasn't the twist. That was the premise.

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, I just heard. Like I said, I was done after the village and everyone that came after I was like, what's the twist?

[Mike Mahardy]

And somebody else as well. I think the. I think the twist was that it just stopped once it had killed enough humans. It was, you know, the last of us. The cordyceps.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah.

[Mike Mahardy]

The fungus is like. Apparently it pops up in ant colonies or something when it's, like, senses that they're getting to. They're imbalancing the ecosystem. I think the happening was like, that plants were like, they're destroying us. Let's kill the humans. And they kill enough. And it stops because I think Mark Wahlberg and Zoey Deschanel are in this, like, cabin. It's a sick movie.

[Mary Kish]

I told you guys this. That my friend saw that in theaters, and halfway through the film, he predicted that the twist was that it was gonna zoom out and that it was gonna be M. Night Shyamalan making the movie. Because it was so bad.

[Mike Mahardy]

Y. Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

That the twist was going to be this movie's falling apart because the acting is so poor and that. And the. The director is freaking out. But then that never happened, and the movie just ended.

[Mike Mahardy]

You know, it's bad when people are.

[Dan Reichert]

Expecting that to be the twist.

[Mary Kish]

Like, this is so bad.

[Dan Reichert]

It has to be intentional.

[Mike Mahardy]

No, they just didn't get it. Did you see.

[Dan Reichert]

Are you a big Mark Wahlberg guy?

[Mike Mahardy]

No, I hate it.

[Dan Reichert]

You seem like you might be a big Mark Wahlberg.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah, I respect his.

[Mary Kish]

Who doesn't love. Yeah, I actually don't.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah, I think he's got range. And have you seen the Fighter? I don't know. I think he's a good dude. He talks, ice baths. He loves Jesus. What's not to like?

[Dan Reichert]

All the stars are.

[Mike Mahardy]

All the stars are there. Have you. Oh, actually. Oh. I went to one episode filming of Jimmy Fallon and Mark Wahlberg was the main guest.

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, nice.

[Mike Mahardy]

And he made Jimmy Fallon take nice bath in his suit.

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, my God.

[Mike Mahardy]

There's videos of him at, like, a motel.

[Dan Reichert]

Those two talking to each other sound like the most most boring, shitty conversation ever.

[Mike Mahardy]

It's like two robots trying to Explain.

[Mary Kish]

Two AI who are discovering that the other person is AI.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah, it's. It's a Turing test where neither of them knows they're computers.

[Mary Kish]

You like ice pads. That's true. I do like ice pads.

[Mike Mahardy]

Have you heard of this Jesus dude?

[Dan Reichert]

I have an nft.

[Mike Mahardy]

I have an nft. It looks like my brother Donnie and Jesus Donnie was in Brand of Brothers, so he's better than I am. The. Have you seen Devil Shyamalan's movie? Devil?

[Mary Kish]

That's the one in the elevator.

[Mike Mahardy]

Elevator, yeah.

[Mary Kish]

I love Itrocious.

[Mike Mahardy]

I love it. It's just the old woman the whole time. I'm sorry. I'm spoiling it, but I'm pretty sure the woman was the devil.

[Mary Kish]

That is a huge spoil.

[Mike Mahardy]

It's been 40 years. No one's going to watch it anyway.

[Mary Kish]

It's also. It's also bad.

[Mike Mahardy]

It's a bad movie. I'm saving it. I remember I spent an Apple gift card on that movie on itunes.

[Mary Kish]

Oh, my God.

[Mike Mahardy]

So I, like. I had buyer's remorse. I'm like, that was a sick movie. I spent that $8. Really well, anyway, Wonder Stop is like.

[Mary Kish]

A game where you're trying to. You actually have the ability to plant seeds, and if you plant seeds in a particular order, these are the things that I like about the game. I think there are things that I just did not understand. Right. I. I don't think I agree with it narratively or like, what it's trying to make me be, but I like the mechanics of it. Making tea is super fun, and Designing Plants and Growing Plants is very fun. They have a book that gives you a guide, but it has. You don't know which colors will lead to which types of plants. That's super fun. So you have to put certain colors in a certain design pattern on the ground, and they use, like, an octagonal grid to give you a guide of where you want to plant things. Once you do it and you make a new type of plant and you water it, you get a particular seed, and then your book automatically updates to let you know that if you use three blue flowers and one pink flower in the middle, it will make this very specific type of tree that will make a. Doesn't really matter, but like a, you know, a tea. Tea type. I shouldn't have used the word tea. I should have used any other letter. Like a QQ plant that makes a sweet tea that helps energize somebody. And so you keep all this stuff in your booklets that you can recognize it later that way. When a patron comes in and they're like, I'm really tired and I love mint. You're, like, sick. I know exactly which type of plant gives me high energy. And I also have a plant that tastes like mint. So I will combine those plants in my next tea for this, and I will brew it up and then I serve it to the guy and he's like, this is exactly what I needed. I'm stoked. Like, let's have fun here. That feels good. It feels good to serve people. It feels good to, like, solve that. That decision making of, like, how do I. How do I design the perfect tea for someone and give it to them? Aesthetically, it is so relaxing and fun to make tea. I think they nailed the feeling of making tea. So I think it's cool. And I think it. I think it is doing what it's intending to do, which is cozy. I just think I want to express that this is really more of, like, a story about an overworked text, you know, traumatic trauma induced, like, main character who, like, feels like they're inadequate and has, like, problems with, like, relieving that tension and stress clumsily disguised as a cozy game. That is.

[Dan Reichert]

Okay.

[Mary Kish]

There is, like, a whole world that this game is trying to put in there that I don't want. But I do tend to.

[Dan Reichert]

You tend to appreciate, like, cozy games that are just cozy games. Like, on the surface, they're a cozy game. When you dig in, they're a cozy game. Like, that's what it is.

[Mike Mahardy]

If they're trying to, like, speak to something deeper that's no longer cozy, it's about tariffs. Like, like, have you seen, like, the movie Signs? I thought it was just about. I thought it was just about a family living on a farm and aliens invade. Turns out it's about faith and predestination. Like, I just get. Let me have these aliens invade this cornfield.

[Mary Kish]

I.

[Mike Mahardy]

And then, yeah, it's my favorite movie of all time, but I still would prefer it was just a simple farm alien.

[Mary Kish]

I think if this game was mostly about building tea. And at the very end, she was like, man, I had a lot of trauma, but this solved it. I actually would have liked it much. Like M. Night Shyamalan. I think my struggle is that the very beginning of this game is all about trauma and, like, tension and dealing with inadequacy. And I was like, when do I get to make the tea? So I think you need to be patient with this game. I think it's for a very particular audience. I absolutely can see people, especially people who are like, I want to be able to relax and take photos and put them on the wall and build my tea shop and enjoy the experience of running around, like, hunting for tea leaves in the garden and stuff like that. You will still like this game. Just be aware that there is a huge narrative at play that you cannot bypass. As far as I'm aware.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah, there's a game on the tip of my tongue that, like, does that. Or there's several games where I'm like, I really think you hit it out of the park already with the mechanics and the simple, like, gameplay premise. You're trying too much. You don't have the writing chops. And even if you did, I don't want that here. Like, I guess it's cool to like kind of Trojan horse a story like that into something that seems much simpler than it is. But I always. I usually just get annoyed. Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

This game is extremely charming. It's extremely charming. If you like a look.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

The visual style. Oh, can I just say one more thing that I love about it, which is what's Spilled? Talk about the teacup system. When somebody drinks a cup of tea now, the. The cup is dirty and so you need to wash it. They have a cute little train that runs through a waterfall. And so you put the dirty cup in the train and it goes through waterfall and it comes out clean.

[Dan Reichert]

I like that. I'm a huge sucker for trains inside, like, tiny trains, inside places like restaurants and stuff.

[Mary Kish]

Aesthetically, this place is. It is whimsical. It feels like you're in a. A kid's candy store again. I feel like. Like it's like sucked out of like, Hogwarts or like some magical children's fantasy. It's beautifully designed. It's so pretty. I want to play in there all the time. I just do not want to have trauma.

[Dan Reichert]

That's fair. I think that's a reasonable request.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah. So I asked. I asked Mike to.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah.

[Mike Mahardy]

What's spilled?

[Mary Kish]

Go wander stuff first. Because I also played a game called Spilled. This game is extremely simple. I just want to preface that this is the other half of Wander Stop, which is Spilled is a game where you are a tiny tugboat and you are cleaning up oil spills and garbage and debris. And when you do that, you get money, which you can build a bigger boat that has. It's faster. You make it more efficient. It is literally like just the juice. It is all dewy. There's like no fucking premise. There's no. There's Nobody being like, we gotta clean up all this oil. You know, the penguins are sick. Like, none of that shit happens.

[Mike Mahardy]

It's just what the game was that you were referencing.

[Mary Kish]

None of it. Just said I was imagining what this game's narrative would have been.

[Mike Mahardy]

But then the oil spills and it becomes this existential consideration on a meta level about, oh, God, well, let's. Oh, God. I'm just. I'm just formulating my Waypoint pitch before I do it. I'm not making. I love waypoint.

[Dan Reichert]

I miss it.

[Mike Mahardy]

Sorry. But there's no penguins. There's no oil.

[Mary Kish]

There's no. There are. There are like little animals, but they don't. There's no narrative. It's just like, you see the oil and you go clean it up. This game is short. I just want to preface, like, this is a. This is an indie ass indie game. This is made by, like, one person as far as I'm aware. And it's very simple. I beat it within an hour. So, like, keep that context in mind. This is like.

[Dan Reichert]

I feel like when you said, like, oh, it's called spilled and you play as a little tugboat that cleans up oil, it sounded like something Mike would make up for the merry ass game of the year.

[Mike Mahardy]

It does spelled an exclamation point, no less.

[Mary Kish]

I think this game is really cute. It sets out to do what it wants to do. It completes that task really quickly as you upgrade your boat. You get to like, shoot water out of your little tugboat, which is so cute. And then there's like fires in some of the environments. And so you're putting out fires. You're like. Sometimes you'll come across an oil covered, like, swan and you'll like, clean them up and then they'll be like, oh. They don't actually say anything to you. But yeah, if this was the other game, it'd be like, thank you. I was so devastated. This is just an animal. You clean it up and then it flies away. And that's nice.

[Mike Mahardy]

What is going on in the world? Building that there is a giant black cat on the shore.

[Mary Kish]

They don't.

[Mike Mahardy]

I'm looking at steam.

[Mary Kish]

They don't explain anything. There's no. There's no narrative of this game. You're just playing.

[Mike Mahardy]

Cool.

[Mary Kish]

That's it.

[Dan Reichert]

I appreciate it.

[Mike Mahardy]

It's the size of a windmill. Yeah, Okay.

[Mary Kish]

I know. This game is very dewy and it. It's. That's it. You're just in a world and you're cleaning up oil, Period. Done. That's my pitch. I. I enjoyed it. It was one hour. It was. I felt. I felt relieved when I finished playing it. I was like, I cleaned the shit out of that world.

[Mike Mahardy]

You know what game this makes me want to go back to two years ago? The boat, the fishing game.

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, Dredge. Dredge.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

Dredge was so fun.

[Mike Mahardy]

They have the. The Arctic or Antarctic dlc. I haven't played it. I might just go restart that game. It was really.

[Mary Kish]

I haven't played the DLC either, and I. I think that was my goatee. Like, was it two years ago? I loved that game. God.

[Mike Mahardy]

That and Outer Wild.

[Mary Kish]

Scary.

[Mike Mahardy]

Those. That and Outer wilds both have DLCs that I want to play, and I have distanced myself from both games enough that I want to go back and replay them.

[Dan Reichert]

I'd love to try the DLC of Outer Wilds again because, like, that was my game of the year. And then the dlc, I could not get it and I should go back.

[Mike Mahardy]

In what sense? It just didn't grab you? Or is it narratively?

[Mary Kish]

I didn't know where to go and I was like, really? I was like, the space is really big and it took. It takes time to have a whole 24 hour cycle. So going somewhere and then having it not be the right direction is kind of defeating. I do think that's a part of the game, which is like, oh, I wasted a day. I better try again. But I quit for the same reason, Dan, which is like, if you're gonna fucking drag my ass all the way to Mars, there better be some fucking skeleton that I uncover in the sand that is like, you actually want to go to Venus. Like, I need someone to guide me.

[Dan Reichert]

Yes, exactly. I'm not against, like, you know, butting my head against something and dying and stuff. That was a big part of Outer Wilds. But I did feel like I was able to deduce things in, like, the DLC. I was kind of like, I've done this loop 10 times. I don't know what the fuck I'm supposed to do here. And that was more frustrating than fun for me.

[Mike Mahardy]

Okay, well, I do want to go back to that and Dredge, though. Dredge is really good.

[Mary Kish]

Those games are very, very valuable to me. I like, I speak so highly of them, but I can fall off just like anyone else if I feel like my time is being wasted. That's just the reality, I think, of us having so many games to play. Like, that's the other aspect of it, which is like, you can really like a game but being like, hey, I got eight other games I want to play, so you need to give me a real good reason to get back in here.

[Mike Mahardy]

What's Disney's Extreme Skate Adventure? Dan?

[Mary Kish]

What the fuck?

[Mike Mahardy]

Dan, look, I know. Is this a Mike Minati thing?

[Dan Reichert]

No, this is a Tony Hawk's pro skater thing. This is. And as a result, I think it's probably the best thing Disney's ever made. It's just I heard that there was a game made in 2003 or so for the PS2, and it's using the Tony Hawk 4 engine.

[Mike Mahardy]

Is that why I see a PS2 on the floor behind you?

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, there's numerous reasons. There's PS2s and stuff behind me. There's a VCR. There's. I'm just. I got a lot of old guy.

[Mary Kish]

Stuff going on here.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah, like. No, seriously, I was watching VHS tapes on stream last night.

[Mike Mahardy]

Meth lab behind him.

[Dan Reichert]

Consoles, you can't see them. Looking at a GameCube, an N64. Like, they're all out here with wires.

[Mike Mahardy]

What were you watching on stream?

[Dan Reichert]

I bought a VHS tape of the Best of Tool Time from Home Improvement.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, the Tool Man Taylor.

[Mike Mahardy]

Taylor.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

There's the Tool Man Turner.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah. There's a site that does. This is a new thing. This is a new VHS that was made.

[Mike Mahardy]

Happened to him.

[Dan Reichert]

It was called a Real cool. He's got a current sitcom and stuff, but really is.

[Mike Mahardy]

He's out of jail. Prison.

[Dan Reichert]

He wasn't like, he got arrested for, like, drug stuff like before. Way before Home Improvement.

[Mary Kish]

He's in societal prison in the sense that I think people have shunned him. Him because he's a bit of a quack.

[Dan Reichert]

All I know about super conservative guy.

[Mike Mahardy]

You know, like, all I know about is based on the interview he did on the Norm show about cocaine in prison. In jail.

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, yeah. That was before his, like, you know, super.

[Mike Mahardy]

Oh, I thought it was famous before Santa Claus. Then that's when he got way big.

[Dan Reichert]

I like Santa Claus.

[Mike Mahardy]

I've seen all three of those. I could tell you every. I could recite from memory every Santa Claus movie.

[Dan Reichert]

Wonderful.

[Mary Kish]

I don't care for that actor.

[Dan Reichert]

Tim Allen. No, he's. I like, look, for some reason, the 90s were a very different time and everyone on Earth loved Home Improvement. It was the most popular show. And then I remember when DVD season started coming out when I was in college of, like, just TV shows. I was like, oh, Home Improvement, everyone. I gotta get Home Improvement first season on DVD and I start watching I was like, wait, this isn't really that funny.

[Mary Kish]

This is like it probably.

[Dan Reichert]

But everyone loved it.

[Mary Kish]

But no, everyone loves the reasons. Like every time he would go to the guy, his neighbor who like hit half his face.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah.

[Mike Mahardy]

I mean, I was.

[Mary Kish]

I grew up with that.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah. Now Borland with his flannel on Tool Time and they would always be like, oh, we made a bathroom for dudes. And so here's where the beer comes out for your toilet.

[Mary Kish]

I remember that they did a man's bathroom. They did a man's. They did it several times.

[Dan Reichert]

That's on my VHS tape of the Best of Tool Time.

[Mary Kish]

That's.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah, we were. We were fresh.

[Mary Kish]

I would like to watch that.

[Mike Mahardy]

We were really forward thinking family. That's what I was doing last night on stream.

[Dan Reichert]

So. Okay, so it's just. It's the Toys for Bob did a Tony Hawk game with Disney bullshit. But it's like using the Tony Hawkins.

[Mike Mahardy]

I never thought I would hear.

[Dan Reichert]

I mean, that's the thing. I don't give a shit about Disney stuff. So, like all the levels are like Toy Story and Jungle Book and Tarzan and all this stuff, but it just plays like a fucking Tony Hawk game. Like, when it starts off, the controls are different, but then I looked at the options and it's like turn on pro controls and it just turns it into Tony Hawk. It's like the same sound effects, the same. Like it's Tony Hawk's four kind of goal structure and everything. I'm playing this game. This is just a fucking Tony Hawk game. But I'm Buzz Lightyear or whatever. It's pretty fucking good. Like, as a big Tony Hawk guy who's been thinking about Tony Hawk a lot lately, it's weird to be able to pull up a game from 22 years ago that I'd never heard of and be like, this is basically a secret Tony Hawk game.

[Mike Mahardy]

Cool.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah.

[Mike Mahardy]

But it's got Disney stuff.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah, yeah. I can look past the Disney stuff and just enjoy skating around. Oh, but it's weird because it's like the most brand centric shit ever. So there's like a McDonald's and you go to the McDonald's and you go to the drive Thru microphone and they're like, hey, deliver these orders. So you're delivering like PS2 rendered like 3D, like, you know, fries and quarter Pounders and stuff. And then you go to Mr. Nokia and Mr. Nokia is like, I gotta get these new ringtones. And he goes around to everyone and you're collecting their Nokia Ringtones for their actual Nokia phones. And it's. I deeply respect the marketing to children aspect of it. Like just trying to monetize kids. I have to respect that. But yeah, it's just a good skateboarding.

[Mike Mahardy]

Game as your phrasing sometimes throws me off. Just trying to monetize kids.

[Dan Reichert]

I mean, they're idiots. So like get their money or get.

[Mike Mahardy]

Their parents are idiots for sure.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

[Mike Mahardy]

Mary, what's Guns of Fury?

[Mary Kish]

Guns of Fury is a game that I want to sell to Dan. I think you're going to really like this.

[Mike Mahardy]

You don't recommend games to me ever. It's always Dan, what is this?

[Mary Kish]

Don't play like rat based tile games.

[Dan Reichert]

Very often is the Venn diagram of interest games wise. I think Mary, you and I probably overlap a lot more than.

[Mike Mahardy]

No, me and Dan, Me and Mike.

[Dan Reichert]

Have a good overlap. I think. I think what we're saying here is that I'm the most well rounded. I play everything and you two are a little more in your little niche.

[Mike Mahardy]

Opposite open minded and he's the least in a niche hole.

[Dan Reichert]

I agree.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah, I agree. Yeah.

[Dan Reichert]

Thanks for saying that. Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

I don't think that that's how I would describe him at all. When it comes to od. I think often Mike and I band together to take you down all the time from your dumb opinions about some game that needs to be the best. And it's actually just okay.

[Dan Reichert]

I think I'm. When did I do that Last year.

[Mary Kish]

You do it every year you did it.

[Dan Reichert]

Give me. Give me examples.

[Mike Mahardy]

You both did it with Pikmin.

[Dan Reichert]

That was two years ago.

[Mike Mahardy]

Oh, what was last year?

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah, when was I. When was I stubborn?

[Mike Mahardy]

When we were you.

[Mary Kish]

No, stubborn.

[Mike Mahardy]

Dan says, what did win game of the year last year?

[Dan Reichert]

What the.

[Mary Kish]

Let me do our go four categories.

[Mike Mahardy]

I keep.

[Mary Kish]

God.

[Mike Mahardy]

Last year was kind of. What the.

[Mary Kish]

Was it Slowly Astrobot.

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, yeah, of course.

[Mike Mahardy]

Oh, it's one of the best games ever. Then he forgets about it.

[Dan Reichert]

I forget everything. But yeah, the name.

[Mike Mahardy]

Like.

[Dan Reichert]

All right. That's one of the best games ever.

[Mike Mahardy]

No metaphor was better.

[Dan Reichert]

But this looks like Metal Slug, which I like.

[Mary Kish]

Yes. So it's a kind of.

[Mike Mahardy]

We're back on that.

[Mary Kish]

I would say we have like a contra Metal Slug vibe here. Aesthetically, so much fun. Everything you shoot explodes.

[Dan Reichert]

There's so many explosions in this, it's crazy.

[Mary Kish]

You shoot everything and it all explodes. But they've done really nice details where like if you shoot a barrel or like an oxygen Tank, it will shoot up into the sky, it will explode the tower, and then the guy in the tower will be like, oh, no. It's really fun. Okay, here we go. Here's my next part. Yeah, it's a Metroidvania.

[Dan Reichert]

Okay, I'm writing this down.

[Mike Mahardy]

Okay, I get why you recommended this to them.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, it's.

[Mike Mahardy]

Tank just shot a laser. Oh, I'm seeing the Metroidvania map now.

[Mary Kish]

Yes.

[Mike Mahardy]

Cool. Yeah, he's got a lightsaber in the mech. What the fuck?

[Mary Kish]

There's. There's mechs.

[Mike Mahardy]

I'm watching the Steam gameplay.

[Mary Kish]

They just seems dewy as shit. It just plops you in the world. And so you'll go to all these different, like, explosion areas, but then, oh.

[Mike Mahardy]

My God, there's an ice gun.

[Mary Kish]

I'm telling you, there's. There's like 20 different guns.

[Mike Mahardy]

You guys, he just shot a hole in a wall and opened up a secret room a la the original Zelda.

[Mary Kish]

And then there's. There's three different types of, like, weapons, right? So there's like your main gun, Max. There's your secondary gun, which can be like a cannon, or it could be like a laser gun. It could be all these different things. And then there's your third one. So it could be a knife, but it could also be a boomerang.

[Mike Mahardy]

Dr. Octopus. What the fuck?

[Mary Kish]

Or it could be a fire starter. And all of those help expand your Metroidvania world. So again, you might go to an area and you'll be like, well, I can't climb this and I don't have a double or triple jump, so I guess I can't go here. But you will get an item. And if you get this very particular item, now all of a sudden you can hit the button that's really high because this is an arc based throwing item. And now you can get to a whole different area in the Metroidvania space. That's like your new level as sick boss fights. It is challenging. I have died a lot trying to, like, get the boss fights to be completed. I've enjoyed the out of this game. It was so funny. Is that, like, I had a lot of. Really, I have. I had like seven games listed that I played in the last two weeks. This is my favorite.

[Dan Reichert]

Okay, I. I already downloaded it.

[Mike Mahardy]

The Magnetic jetpack.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah, it just. That looks like a fun video game.

[Mary Kish]

It's such a fun video game. And it knows that it's a fun video game. Like, it knows what it's doing. It. It knows its Player base. There's so few negatives. The only negative I can say is that like, for a game that's trying to compare itself to like Metal Slug and you guys all know like Metal Slug has like some of the most incredible animations.

[Dan Reichert]

Yes.

[Mary Kish]

It's not of that caliber.

[Dan Reichert]

Sure.

[Mary Kish]

That's my only. That's it. That's like my only negative.

[Dan Reichert]

Well, the idea of that type of gameplay with a Metroidvania, like, you know, like Shadow Complex had guns and was a Metroidvania, but it wasn't in the vein of like a Contra Metal Slug type shooter. So, like, I'm definitely up for trying this.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, it's super fun.

[Mike Mahardy]

I try it too. But you only recommended it to Dan.

[Mary Kish]

So I'm recommending it to both of you. I just. The developers are losing out Metroidvania. I thought of Dan immediately. But I think people both really like this game. This also, like, it was really off my radar. My, my like moderator when I stream got this and was like, hey, I think you'd really like this game. And I would not have played this if he did not buy that for me. Like, I'm so grateful because the marketing or whatever, for whatever reason, this totally blew over my radar, but I'm really grateful that I played it. And so like, this is why we have this podcast. Everybody needs to play this game. It's. It's fucking great. This is the number one game and no one's fucking talking about it. Guns of Fury.

[Dan Reichert]

Okay, I will play it by the time we record next.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah. This isn't just a challenge to you, Dan, or to Mike. This is to all of our listeners. This is the game and I stand by it. If you don't like this game, stop listening. Jesus.

[Dan Reichert]

Don't take that seriously.

[Mike Mahardy]

It's only got 400 reviews. It looks like.

[Mary Kish]

I know no one's talking about it. How weird is that? And it's great. It's freaking great.

[Mike Mahardy]

What's dying? The dungeon.

[Mary Kish]

This is a very quick one. I really like these types of games where you. I don't know, it's like deck building, but this one is with dice. So you build a deck of dice and then you roll them and based on your roles, you fight. You turn base, fight enemies in a dungeon and it gets progressively harder. This game is very difficult. I think if you like turn based deck builders in dungeons and you want to try something different. This is the same thing with dice. You play as a cute little frog. I think it's cute. A little difficult. I mean I'm not even getting past the first area. So maybe they need to. Maybe I suck. Or maybe they need to. They need to look at it a little bit. It's early access, so I suspect that this game needs to be fine tuned. I bought it in the sale, you know, like in the Steam sale. That's why I bought it, because it was on sale. So I think it's a great Steam sale game because I, you know, it's like, it's already not very expensive and when you add a, you know, 10 or a 20, 30 off, it's like 10 bucks. It was great. So anyway, it's called Die in the Dungeon. Die. And I think that's just a little, little play on words because you roll dice and dicey dungeons was already taken.

[Mike Mahardy]

Oh, all right. I was like, that's not a pun, that's just how you spell it.

[Dan Reichert]

But now I get the word.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah. If it was color based. D, Y, E.

[Dan Reichert]

Wow, look at this guy. Wow.

[Mike Mahardy]

It was weirder tasting than I thought it would be. Don't do anything to the audio listeners.

[Dan Reichert]

Mike deep throated a microphone.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah, but it tasted different. Like I thought it'd be sweeter.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah, it's a giant windscreen on it. That's gross.

[Mary Kish]

That's how they get you.

[Dan Reichert]

This is a him thing.

[Mike Mahardy]

Oh, dude, I. I have such an overwhelming urge to put cylindrical things in my mouth all the time.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, yeah, we're all out of games.

[Mike Mahardy]

You want. You want to. You want to. Want to talk about emails?

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah, sure.

[Mike Mahardy]

Hey, everybody. Okay. As usual, you can write into Jake, I don't know, figure out where the fuck to come in on that conversation. You can write into firescapecastmail.com I should mention. I'm going to mention this later on. I didn't talk about any games at all. Which keen listeners will have noticed because I was in GDC last week and I just wasn't. I was. Wasn't playing games.

[Mary Kish]

But you are playing games. You're playing one very particular game with our buddy Vinnie.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yes, thank you. That's where I was going with that.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, that's my.

[Mike Mahardy]

I forgot where I was going with my own.

[Dan Reichert]

Thank you.

[Mike Mahardy]

You saved me. Yeah. Vinnie and I are playing Total War Warhammer 3. Two campaigns based on how many people have signed up. Yeah, people like it. Seems like a lot of you know about it.

[Dan Reichert]

However, I think Warhammer might be popular. I've never heard about it anywhere.

[Mike Mahardy]

It's just, it's. Vinnie is popular, I think.

[Dan Reichert]

And then Warhammer's. That actually makes A lot more sense.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

If you're not Vinny, if you're not.

[Mike Mahardy]

A video tier patron for Fire Escape, we, Vinnie and I are doing a co op campaign in Total Warhammer 3. He is playing as Imric with the High Elves and I am playing as Oxyotl with the Lizardmen. And we're doing a good quote unquote order campaign. And then if you're not signed up to Nexlander on their video or their top tier, I believe that we're doing the Evil campaign over there. I'm playing as Count Noctilus in the Vampire Zombie Pirates. Vinnie is playing as Skulltaker and the Demons of Khorne. So that's fun. It's been fun. We're going back and forth. So if you're listening to this episode and it goes up on the day, there's a new episode over at nextlander for the evil campaign. And we're coming up on episode three for the good campaign next week.

[Mary Kish]

You're gonna want to be a Vinyo tier level Patreon subscriber because you're gonna want to get those videos.

[Mike Mahardy]

No. I noticed neither of you have said anything about watching it.

[Mary Kish]

I just did.

[Dan Reichert]

I just don't want to be spoiled on the campaign.

[Mary Kish]

I don't want to be spoiled on.

[Dan Reichert]

The High Elves stuff in particular. I'm just trying not to get spoiled on it right now. It's, you know, in the lore, it's a big time for the High Elves.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah. The second.

[Mary Kish]

I got other stuff to burn through.

[Dan Reichert]

But we've got to finish the Severance finale tonight.

[Mike Mahardy]

I caught up on White Lotus. We have not started Severance. I think that's our next show. White Lotus in general, how are you liking the season compared to the first? What is.

[Dan Reichert]

What is?

[Mike Mahardy]

No White Lotus?

[Mary Kish]

White Lotus is much more of a slow burn this season, in my opinion. I think they all are, right? Like the. All the hook is like, somebody dies, but the actual show is about watching these characters slowly transform and things, like, bubble up to the surface. To the degree that things start happening towards the final episode, maybe the second to last episode, I just feel like the first episode, a lot of shit happened, right? Like there was like a lady who, like, was pregnant and, like, ended up giving birth. During that, there was a lot going on. And in the first season and in the second season. This is slower.

[Mike Mahardy]

Someone had gave birth in the first season.

[Mary Kish]

Yes.

[Mike Mahardy]

I just rewatched it. Why am I her water break? Oh, sure, sure, sure. Yes, yes, yes. Very early on, the staffer but that.

[Mary Kish]

First episode's really stressful. I would say in this one, the stress is not from a crazy thing that happens. The stress is from character dynamics that are really intense. If you're paying attention to the dialogue and what's going on. There's, like, these three iconic ladies. They're, like, a little, like, they're older and they're stunningly beautiful, but every time one of them leaves, the other two talk about the person who's left. That is a very stressful dynamic to me. So maybe there isn't crazy things happening all the time, but the dynamics between these characters are very stressful. It's different. It's stressful in a different way. This season, I'm liking it. I don't dislike it.

[Mike Mahardy]

I like season one a bit more than two. However, the character work in this season is really, really good.

[Mary Kish]

It's really good.

[Mike Mahardy]

Walton Goggins. I love this renaissance he's having with this. And fallout.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, he's great. And what a totally different character than his fallout character. But both so well done. He's a tremendous actor. I also like whoever plays his girlfriend with the teeth. She is amazing. I'm trying not to be disrespectful because I find her stunningly beautiful. But if you were to describe, I would say she's super hot and she's got big old teeth, and she's a great actor. She owns that role entirely. I think she's phenomenal.

[Mike Mahardy]

Patrick Schwarzenegger is so fucking good at being a huge douchebag.

[Dan Reichert]

He's Schwarzenegger's kid is in this.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah. He's like, oh, wow. His name is Saxon, and he's from this very white, like, North Carolina Duke Chapel Hill family.

[Mary Kish]

He reminds me of Johnny. Every time he comes into a scene, he's just like, hey, baby, do you know where the bar is? And they're like, what are you talking about? He's like, anyway, like, check out my dick. And then he, like, walks away.

[Dan Reichert]

It's very odd he was acting.

[Mary Kish]

He talks so hateable. But that. That's a good actor, right?

[Dan Reichert]

Like, he.

[Mary Kish]

He's created a real hateable, punchable guy.

[Mike Mahardy]

And I feel like all this. The time he spends talking about his body and working out is just making fun of his dad. But it's his dad, right? Not like. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dan Reichert]

Was he the maid son?

[Mike Mahardy]

What do you mean?

[Dan Reichert]

When he had the affair with the maid?

[Mike Mahardy]

Oh, I don't know.

[Mary Kish]

Oh, that's crazy. That's behind the scenes because. Because Arnold Schwarzenegger famously Had a kid out of wedlock with his maid. I understand. I think this is full blood, but I don't know. Okay, I'm gonna do that based on the fact that he really looks like Arnold. Like crazy.

[Mike Mahardy]

He's got Arnold vibes.

[Mary Kish]

He really does.

[Mike Mahardy]

So go watch Vinnie and Mike save the world on fire escape and then go watch Vinnie and Mike destroy the world on next slander.

[Mary Kish]

Great.

[Mike Mahardy]

All right, we got some emails from Mary. Do you want to read this first one from Rich from Pennsylvania.

[Mary Kish]

Chat sup, guys. I live in Philadelphia area and growing up we always referred to Italian ice as water ice. It wasn't until I was a full grown adult that I realized that to anyone not from the area, water ice just sounds like ice. Did you grow up with any weird regional names for things that you didn't realize were weird until years later? I know people in Minnesota also allegedly refer to Duck, Duck, Goose as Duck, Duck, Gray Duck. That's fucked up, right? All the best. Rich from Pennsylvania. I had no idea that you could say gray duck. That's weird.

[Dan Reichert]

It's not allegedly. That is definitely. Yeah. It's the only state in the country where it's not Duck, Duck, Goose. It's Duck, duck, gray duck.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah, Mary, you wrote one down. I don't know if this is regional or just. You're being weird when you say this.

[Mary Kish]

Everyone from Ohio says Reese PCs.

[Dan Reichert]

No, that's a weird thing. I just ate a good chunk of a five pound bag of Reese's Pieces on Wednesday and I was saying Reese's Pieces every time I ate some.

[Mike Mahardy]

I. Yeah, I just ate a good chunk of a five pound bag.

[Dan Reichert]

What?

[Mike Mahardy]

How many pounds was a good chunk?

[Dan Reichert]

Well, for the ets they have five.

[Mike Mahardy]

Pound bags of Reese's Pieces.

[Dan Reichert]

Yes. Jeff Krubs sent me five pounds of Reese's Pieces that I had to shove through the mouth hole of an ET mask for work on Wednesday.

[Mary Kish]

You did not have to do any of this.

[Dan Reichert]

I am an artist.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yours is a noble profession. Yes, I've heard people say Reese's Pieces, but it's. I don't think it's a region. It's Ohio. Oh, Grub says it too. And Mike, wait.

[Dan Reichert]

No, because maybe it's not regional because.

[Mike Mahardy]

Like I remember, I think it's just Mary and like, I've heard other people say it, but they're not from Ohio.

[Dan Reichert]

Louis CK says it that way. And we're seeing him years ago when he said Reese's PC. Yeah.

[Mike Mahardy]

Is he from Ohio?

[Dan Reichert]

No, he's in New York. Well, he Grew up in Mexico.

[Mike Mahardy]

I think Louis CK Grew up in Mexico.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah. He's like, half Mexican. Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

It's a classic Mexican accent. Yeah.

[Dan Reichert]

So maybe it's not just an Ohio thing. It's just a Mary and Louis CK thing.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah.

[Mike Mahardy]

There's so much as I famously want.

[Mary Kish]

To be associated with PCs, and I.

[Mike Mahardy]

Just think I'm going to die one day. I don't know. I can't do Louis ck. I shouldn't. Probably shouldn't.

[Mary Kish]

Probably not. I'm trying to think of, like, weird dialects, regional stuff.

[Mike Mahardy]

I mean, a lot of the regional stuff from, like, Syracuse. Well, Syracuse itself, the pronunciation, I think we've talked about. We've definitely talked about this on fire escape before, like, way earlier. There's some listeners from Syracuse, and I think they got in an argument with me, or rather emailed in saying, it looks like Syracuse and it's named after the Sicilian city, Syracuse. But everybody I grew up with who's from there did not pronounce it like that. They pronounce it Syracuse, like Sara Cuse instead of Syracuse.

[Dan Reichert]

I would trust the people who live there.

[Mike Mahardy]

Right. But there's other people who do who also live there and emailed me saying, I'm from here and I pronounce a Syracuse. But I remember our. Like, our chancellor at su, when I was going to, before I graduated, emailed all the students with like a. It was supposed to be a fun community building is like, are you a deer or a bear? Do you say Syracuse or Syracuse? And like, most people who were from there, of which there were not that many, because people come from everywhere to go to su, were saying, no, we say Syracuse. The Syracuse was just too. It's easier to say Syracuse. And, like, there's a specific kind of drawl from Syracuse that, like. I don't say trailer. That's too hard on my vocal cords. Yeah. I said trail. But again, there's other people who are like, I'm from here, and I don't say it like that. You're a moron.

[Dan Reichert]

You said Syracuse so much now that my brain is refusing to acknowledge it as a word. And I can't remember how I used to say it.

[Mike Mahardy]

Oh, there's a cool word. There's a cool phrase for that. Semantic satiation.

[Dan Reichert]

Okay. That's what's happening.

[Mike Mahardy]

Or something like that. It's a cool phrase.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

It's like when you say, like, the word potato so much, and you're like, that's crazy that that's even a word.

[Dan Reichert]

Potatoes, clitoris, Joe Montana, where it's like Joe Montana. That's not a guy. That's not even a series of words. That's Joe Montana. Doesn't mean anything.

[Mike Mahardy]

That's a Cartoon Network character. He's not a fucking all time Joe Montana.

[Dan Reichert]

That's. I must be misremembering this. Yeah.

[Mike Mahardy]

G spot. G spot. G spot. I mean, the clitoris, neither of them exist, so it works. What the fuck were we talking? Oh, regional stuff. Most of the regional stuff. Syracuse. Has I mentioned Syracuse? Because I was going to say we have regional cuisine. Chicken speedies from the state fair, which I'm actually going to make tonight. Speedies. Oh, yeah. Cuisine. Not in the sense that it's fancy cuisine, just like regional food.

[Mary Kish]

When I say cuisine, I mean chicken speedies.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah, we have little smokies, some nice pampa museviche and some chicken speedies.

[Dan Reichert]

Do you say little smokies?

[Mike Mahardy]

Never heard of that before.

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, maybe that's.

[Mary Kish]

Those. Are those tiny little sausages? Yeah, yeah.

[Dan Reichert]

It's like little hot dogs, little smokies.

[Mary Kish]

You gotta have little smokies. And you. And whoever. When you have a Midwest, maybe one of the moms comes with a crock pot, and she's like, I have the little smokies, and they're always crock pot with, like, barbecues. Why did you sound like Parker Posey.

[Mike Mahardy]

From the White Lotus right there? I got little smokies. Where's my Larazepam, Piper?

[Mary Kish]

No, I brought the smokies.

[Mike Mahardy]

I'm missing my pills. I salt potatoes. Salt potatoes are a thing in Syracuse as well. You literally boil potatoes in salt water, and then you serve them with melted butter and some, like, green onions.

[Dan Reichert]

Sounds pretty good.

[Mike Mahardy]

Oh, it's good. Good. It's great. It's just like Amanda when she first met me, and I was telling her, I was like, yeah, we had, like, salt potatoes at the barbecue. She's like, what the are those? And it's just you boil them in salt water. There's probably some nuances that I'm not familiar with, but phrasing wise, I mean.

[Dan Reichert]

We had the stuff where it's like, hey, everyone, I was talking about soda pop. Like, you know, definitely grew up. Like, every soda was a Coke at one point. I don't think I heard pop much.

[Mike Mahardy]

I didn't either. We were soda.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, I think we used pop in Ohio, which is. Yes, but I think is interchangeably. You could use soda. But if I asked for. For me, if I were to ask for something right now, I'd be like, oh, I don't Want a pop? Like, I would probably still say pop.

[Dan Reichert]

I think I'd say soda. Yeah.

[Mike Mahardy]

Water. Ice from Rich from the email is very weird. I have. One of my good friends is from Philly. The way that people from Philly and Long island say water is weird. The Philly.

[Dan Reichert]

Water.

[Mike Mahardy]

Water.

[Mary Kish]

Water.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah, water.

[Mike Mahardy]

Water. That's odd. I like it. It's got a nice ring to it. But I don't say it like that. Oh, are you. Are you.

[Dan Reichert]

If.

[Mike Mahardy]

Okay, if you're waiting in a queue to get into a store, how would you phrase that?

[Dan Reichert]

I've heard this. You're in line. You're in line.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah. Mary, how would you phrase it?

[Mary Kish]

My instinct is to also say I'm in line.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah, me too. I think it's like a New York thing to say online.

[Dan Reichert]

Bonk and her family all say Jersey, New York. And then there's a lot of water going on there, too.

[Mary Kish]

Order.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah.

[Mike Mahardy]

Although, you know, it's not water, it's water. W, like O O T E r water. No, water.

[Dan Reichert]

Like water.

[Mike Mahardy]

It's like a long. Close to the Long Island. Yeah, water. Water. Almost. But, like. Yeah, it's. I think it's Jersey. New York is online. I know. Baccalaureate. You know, like the Long Islanders and Jersey. Jersey folks say Mario a lot.

[Dan Reichert]

That's. That's just actually wrong.

[Mike Mahardy]

But yeah, I like, because. Yeah. I think in Italian wouldn't. What would Mario be in Italian? Like, how would the.

[Dan Reichert]

I think the argument is that, like. Oh, yeah, on the east coast, whatever. There's a lot of guys named Mario pronounced Mario, but not that Mario. He says his own fucking name all the time. Yeah, it's one of the, like, five words. He says it's a bit Mario. He says Mario.

[Mike Mahardy]

I think the argument there is like, Japanese developers wouldn't. They fucked it up when they were making Mario.

[Dan Reichert]

I'm just listening to the man say his own name.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah.

[Mike Mahardy]

I guess he would know it's me.

[Mary Kish]

Mario.

[Dan Reichert]

Yes.

[Mike Mahardy]

In line. I feel like there's another one that's always throws me off.

[Dan Reichert]

There's warsh. I would hear. My grandma was from the south and she would say wash instead of.

[Mike Mahardy]

Oh, like wash. Yeah, Yeah, I put.

[Dan Reichert]

Them in the wash. Yeah, there's a. I went to.

[Mike Mahardy]

I think you two know. I think I've talked about before. I went to University of Arkansas for two years, and my ex's grandparents lived on Grand Lake in Oklahoma, which is a gorgeous little pocket of the country. If you've never been to lake country in Oklahoma, go. If you're Around. Go check it out. There's a place in Oklahoma that is spelled M I A M I. Miami.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah.

[Mike Mahardy]

That is not how they fucking say it. It is Miami. Miami, Oklahoma, Missouri.

[Dan Reichert]

You know, Missouri.

[Mary Kish]

Missouri in Miami.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah. It's a very Parker Posey in White Lotus way of saying Miami, and that always threw me off. But I kind of like Miami.

[Dan Reichert]

Kind of like that. I don't like Missouri.

[Mike Mahardy]

I don't like Missouri State. I don't like the state or how it's. Yeah, just about Missouri listeners, but no offense to them.

[Dan Reichert]

Get out of that shitty state. Yeah, it's not good.

[Mary Kish]

You're allowed to say that. Yeah.

[Mike Mahardy]

I spent a lot. Not nearly as much time as Dan. I've spent a lot of time there. And I was always. I'd rather be Oklahoma.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah.

[Mike Mahardy]

But, yeah, it was always the. I'm actually curious if anybody from Syracuse says Syracuse, because it's just too. I actually get kind of tired saying Syracuse. It, like, wears me out a bit. It's too. It's a strain on my vocal cords. Trailer. Syracuse.

[Dan Reichert]

Alien.

[Mike Mahardy]

Alien.

[Mary Kish]

I feel like in Ohio. Well, at least where I was growing up, it wasn't so much that we. That we said very specific words differently, but valley girl accent is, like, very normalized there. And so just saying things with a strange inflection upwards that everything is like a question is very normal. But I don't know if, like, there's a very particular use case for an individual word, whereas it's just like, you know, do you know where I can get a smoothie around here? Is like, very normal to talk like that.

[Dan Reichert]

Don't like that.

[Mary Kish]

Are you okay?

[Dan Reichert]

It's just not good. Yeah. Here you get a lot of, like, the Minnesota people that are just like any double O. It's like broom, roof. You know, like a lot of just like. Yeah, it's broom. Yeah, hand me a broom. Yeah. Like, Tim Turi is, like, the most Minnesotan man ever.

[Mike Mahardy]

Tim. Tim's pronunciation of Boston is funny to me.

[Dan Reichert]

What's he saying?

[Mike Mahardy]

Boston. He says, like, oh, yeah, we're going to Boston for Pax East.

[Dan Reichert]

Like, you saying it with, like, a Boston accent.

[Mike Mahardy]

No, no, no, no. It's just like the O is a very hard O instead of an aw. Boston.

[Mary Kish]

My sister says I might be like ma'am. And sometimes that confuses me.

[Mike Mahardy]

My sister is the only one in our family who just has a. Like a. Where's Fargo? Dakota? Minnesota?

[Dan Reichert]

North Dakota.

[Mike Mahardy]

My sister just has an upper Midwest accent. I don't know where she got it. Her husband's not from the upper Midwest. We are not. She, like. I don't know where she got it.

[Dan Reichert]

Would you consider me to have any kind of accent?

[Mike Mahardy]

Nothing stands out. I don't.

[Dan Reichert]

I do feel like that Midwestern, like. Like, this is upper Midwestern. There is a Minnesota accent, but I'm not from here, so, like, I just feel like Kansas and Midwest. Midwest doesn't have much of one.

[Mike Mahardy]

You do say some stuff. How would you. You kind of have the George Bush pronunciation of nuclear, don't you?

[Dan Reichert]

No, because there's an inaccurate way of saying it where you say nuclear, but it's. Well, no, wait, it's not. No, no, that is the correct one. Nucular is the wrong one. Nuclear is the right one. Yes. Nuclear is the wrong way to do it.

[Mike Mahardy]

W. Fan over.

[Dan Reichert]

I'm not thinking about nuclear weapons.

[Mike Mahardy]

Are you pro? Are you pro Operation Iraqi Freedom, too, Dan?

[Dan Reichert]

That was quite a jump, Mike.

[Mike Mahardy]

Maharaj is a big.

[Dan Reichert]

Look the mission got accomplished, did it not?

[Mary Kish]

Classic W defender. Dan Rer.

[Mike Mahardy]

Closeted Cheney fan. This whole time. 103 episodes in, and finally, we've always. What do you think about these tariffs, Dan? What do you think about Halliburton and their oil interests, Dan?

[Dan Reichert]

They're bad.

[Mike Mahardy]

I thought I had him.

[Mary Kish]

He gets away for another episode.

[Mike Mahardy]

Dan is always on his toes when it comes to politics. I like I one of these. I'll get him. God. Masterful, Perry, Dan. Masterful. Touche. Thank you. Rich from Pennsylvania. Dan, you want to read this one?

[Dan Reichert]

I don't know.

[Mike Mahardy]

It's from. Actually, hold on. While you read it, I'll.

[Dan Reichert]

I say it. No, it's on there. Hello. What's the worst name for the best thing? Anything. Food, movie, game book, hobby, sex, position, you name it. I'm a big fan of the Australian band King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard. I don't hate the name, but I know a lot of people. People who do, and it legitimately makes them hard to recommend to people who I know would love their fantastic discography. Lots of love from the west coast of Australia, Simon. P.S. please don't tariff my email.

[Mike Mahardy]

I know what. Simon from Australia. It's not the same one, though.

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, I think I know the same one.

[Mike Mahardy]

You know, yeah.

[Mary Kish]

Let's tariff.

[Dan Reichert]

I got a couple.

[Mike Mahardy]

Name for a bad thing, so.

[Dan Reichert]

No, no, worse name for a good thing. Yeah, I mean, I don't consider this the best thing, but it was very big for a while. Pubg. You know, like, that was a terrible player. Unknowns. Battlegrounds.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, that's a terrible name. That's a really great example, Dan. Such a bad name.

[Mike Mahardy]

Ripe with like that kingdom.

[Dan Reichert]

A lot of ones with too many colons and, you know, too many subtitles and stuff. There's a movie, Mary, I learned about during your wedding thing, Sorcerer, which it is not at all indicative of what the movie's about. It's about driving trucks that had dynamite in them precariously. And it's called Sorcerer.

[Mike Mahardy]

We talked about that a few times.

[Mary Kish]

We talked about that one before. You love that movie.

[Mike Mahardy]

Incredible movie.

[Dan Reichert]

Bad name. Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

Sorcerer. Doesn't even make sense.

[Dan Reichert]

No, it doesn't at all. It's not on its own a bad name, but for that movie it's a bad name because that's not indicative at all.

[Mike Mahardy]

Petite Chablis.

[Dan Reichert]

I'm sorry.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah, there's got. There's movies. I don't know if this person listens to the podcast, Dan. I'm not. Can you see what's resting on top of my Rambo Steelbook? You have assigned a mission to me.

[Dan Reichert]

To give Mission Impossible.

[Mike Mahardy]

No, no, no, no. It's a dvd.

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, I know what you're talking about. You're saying that's a bad title.

[Mike Mahardy]

Bad radio. No, I was just thinking. I was looking at my. In my background. This is a complete, not like tangent. I just realized. No, not at all. I just noticed it was right there and Dan and I haven't talked about it yet in this episode.

[Dan Reichert]

No, no, no, I understand.

[Mike Mahardy]

I don't think this person listens to the show. Okay, I'll explain it someday. And then this whole terrible all laugh tangent will make sense.

[Mary Kish]

Laura Lie and the laser eyes.

[Mike Mahardy]

Oh, yeah. Video games are.

[Dan Reichert]

That's not.

[Mike Mahardy]

There's so many. What's that?

[Mary Kish]

Warhammer 40,000, dawn of War, Soulstrom, Total War.

[Mike Mahardy]

Total War, Warhammer 3. Everything in that realm is bad.

[Dan Reichert]

Okay, I'll do my rare wrestling thing with you guys. Have you heard of the Steiner brothers?

[Mike Mahardy]

Vaguely.

[Dan Reichert]

Okay, there was. They were classic in the 80s 90s. Rick Steiner and Scott Steiner. They were just dudes from Michigan that would come just beat the out of you. They were awesome. They were known as the Steiner brothers. All the rooms. The Steiner recliner, the Frankensteiner, all that. Everyone knows them as the Steiners. Rick Steiner has a son who's now a big deal in wwe. He looks like his dad. He talks like his uncle. He's fucking awesome. You'd think you just call. His real name is Braun Rex Steiner. Which is a cool fucking name. Yeah, they named him, but they. They named Him Braun Breaker, which is like, He's a fucking Steiner. Call him Bronze Steiner. Like, Bron Breaker is stupid as fuck, right?

[Mary Kish]

Yes.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah. Call him a Steiner. Anyway, not everything's about wrestling, Mike.

[Mike Mahardy]

I. I'm. I agree. The Turk, the country Turkey. I've never been. I hear.

[Dan Reichert]

Not anymore. Didn't they change it or something? I thought referred to as, like, get.

[Mary Kish]

A different name, Turkey or something.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah. Why. Why are they not conforming to my understanding of Turkey?

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, I know Mary's got to be thrilled now because it's not the Gulf of Mexico anymore.

[Mike Mahardy]

Oh, yeah. You have been annoying the out of us about that.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah, we get it. Yeah, you love it.

[Mike Mahardy]

You're like, party hat, party hat, Gulf.

[Mary Kish]

Of America losers over here.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah. Also, you've been like. You've been. She sent us this map of Canada with, like, red lines from America into it. Oh, and like, Greenland.

[Dan Reichert]

She's big on that Greenland shit now.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, there's like, my head.

[Mike Mahardy]

She sent one image. It's like the 76th Tank Division, and then it's a line up. Vancouver. It's weird.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah, it's really weird.

[Mike Mahardy]

You got to stop.

[Mary Kish]

I'm. I don't.

[Mike Mahardy]

Wait, I don't need.

[Mary Kish]

I hate expanding. You guys want to shrink your territory. What's going on here?

[Dan Reichert]

That's a good point.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah. Nuke the whales. Got a Nuke Something you guys want to not. Not grow.

[Dan Reichert]

That's what you always say.

[Mary Kish]

Oh, wiener suckers.

[Dan Reichert]

That's a fun. I don't even know what the.

[Mary Kish]

Great name.

[Dan Reichert]

I think it's a great name, though.

[Mike Mahardy]

Had it for the first time recently. It's good.

[Mary Kish]

That's like a great name.

[Mike Mahardy]

How do I describe it? It's almost like a mini chicken cutlet, but with other herbs in the breading. And it's like a. It's a big pub food in Australia. So we did an Australian pairing night recently, and my friend from Australia, well, his wife made them and she put caviar on top. So I don't know if that was like.

[Dan Reichert]

Was that an Australian pairing night? And then this person put caviar on top. Mike, you are. You have descended so far into self parody. What the fuck?

[Mary Kish]

Like, that's like common food. There's no reason to put caviar on there.

[Mike Mahardy]

You could put caviar. Oh, that was the first time I had caviar. Have you guys had caviar before?

[Dan Reichert]

I had caviar on a cool ranch. Doritos.

[Mike Mahardy]

Suddenly I'm not the only bougie one. One of the podcasts on a cool race Dorito. Yes. You put it on chips.

[Dan Reichert]

I did once. Yes.

[Mike Mahardy]

I get it. It's Don Lee.

[Dan Reichert]

You were there, right?

[Mike Mahardy]

Yep.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mike Mahardy]

You told me to dress up for this party. You showed up in WWE T shirt.

[Dan Reichert]

The fuck are you talking about?

[Mike Mahardy]

You said, let's go to existing conditions for New Year's Eve. Don Lee, who's, who's like a friend of Giant Bomb east is hosting it. It's one of his. His cocktail bars. And you said, it's going to be pretty. Like there's going to be people dressed up. So I come in like a sport coat and chinos and you're in a WWE T shirt.

[Dan Reichert]

I have pictures of us from that night. I'm wearing a nice button up shirt. What the fuck are you talking about?

[Mike Mahardy]

I promise you you're not. And send me pictures from it.

[Dan Reichert]

I remember it was the New Year's Eve before it was 2019, going into 2020 because I was about to start working in WWE. I'm wearing a button up shirt. I could clearly prove you wrong on.

[Mike Mahardy]

This if show me a photo of you at existing conditions where you're not wearing a T shirt.

[Dan Reichert]

Okay.

[Mike Mahardy]

I would love to.

[Dan Reichert]

All right.

[Mike Mahardy]

See it.

[Mary Kish]

When I got the opportunity to freelance for my very first time at GameSpot for E3, I said, what's the dress code? And the person who got me the job said, it's business casual. And so I went to a store and I bought a nice pair of dress slacks and a simple pair of flat black dress shoes and a white collared, like, not like a fancy shirt, but like a, like a nice white shirt that would go well with these black slacks. And I walked in on the first day of E3 and all you were wearing like chili stained, nasty ass raggedy clothes. And I looked like I had just come in from some kind of business meeting. And I went to my co. His name was Jan. He worked on the Live team. And I was like, what the fuck, dude? And he was like, yeah, it's a business. And you dress casual.

[Dan Reichert]

Business casual.

[Mike Mahardy]

Dan, I'm looking at.

[Dan Reichert]

I sent it to you. I discorded you the picture.

[Mike Mahardy]

Of course, all the photos. It's just. You stole my phone. You and Bonk.

[Dan Reichert]

I sent you the picture. No, I will.

[Mary Kish]

I will say from an outsider perspective and looking at this picture, Michael is dressed up and wearing a nice suit with a tie and he's got like four corners in his little pocket and Dan, you're just wearing a fucking black shirt.

[Dan Reichert]

It's A shirt with the time especially. I only had, like, if I had buttons on a shirt, that was me being fancy. I got, I got more, but not a WWE shirt.

[Mike Mahardy]

That's on me. I got. I look good, though.

[Mary Kish]

I think there's like a Roman Reigns shadow in it.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah.

[Dan Reichert]

Secret Roman Reigns. My button up shirt.

[Mike Mahardy]

That was a fun night. That was good. Cocktails.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah. Great place.

[Mike Mahardy]

Okay, great. I'm all tapped out on weird phrasing for stuff. I will read the last one from Morgan. Hello, arsonists. I like that people have been saying that it's cool. I want to burn stuff. Congrats on making it to 100 episodes. Thank you.

[Mary Kish]

Thank you.

[Mike Mahardy]

Love listening to y'all every two weeks and love the tournament. My question is, it's 4am and your phone rings. It is one of your fellow co hosts and they're in jail. What do you think they did to get locked up? I'll get the obvious ones out of the way. Like, Dan is calling Mike because he assaulted a Taco Bell employee because they accidentally put vegetables in his food. Mary is calling Dan because she did nothing wrong. But for some reason, there is a New Jersey housewife missing and no one has seen her since she said something rude to Mary, but Mary did nothing after that. And of course, Mike is calling Mary to let her know that he's actually escaped from jail and he's right outside her window. Love the podcast. Here's to 100 more. It's Morgan from New Orleans.

[Dan Reichert]

In reality, what we would get because, like, I don't think any of us are real. We don't drink and dry. I never did.

[Mary Kish]

I.

[Mike Mahardy]

No, like, no. I, I. If I had to pick something for Mary, I would actually think it might have had to do with her temper.

[Dan Reichert]

I think it'd be a fight. Yeah. I think for real, it'd be a fight. Yeah.

[Mike Mahardy]

And. And I know I don't have. I, I'm literally perfect.

[Mary Kish]

I would never kill anyone. I just think I would cause a scene, but I don't think I literally.

[Mike Mahardy]

Carried, like, I picked you up, up and moved you across the bar.

[Mary Kish]

She tried to open the bathroom. That's assault. She should be in jail.

[Mike Mahardy]

She tried to open a door. The nerve.

[Dan Reichert]

I actually think my answer for both of you is a fight at a bar.

[Mike Mahardy]

I've moved past that.

[Mary Kish]

There was a time, if we can just be reasonable, where that was the number one thing that would have happened to Mike. And we all kind of like, held our.

[Mike Mahardy]

There was a time. Agreed. I don't. When you want to Be this. These days, I don't think.

[Mary Kish]

Now you are a spicy boy. But I think that that time has passed. But there was time where I still think, like, for looking at you sideways.

[Dan Reichert]

I don't think any of us are going to jail. But I do think the most likely for Mike, if it had to be something, would still maybe be a fight. He still got it in him somewhere.

[Mike Mahardy]

No, no, it's gone.

[Mary Kish]

Okay.

[Mike Mahardy]

They removed my root chakra. It's gone now.

[Mary Kish]

I think it's possible that if there was like a museum and they were like, we're having a really unique museum and we have original candy bars that are one of a kind and these are iconic and they are special and they're not actually to be held. These are just for people to view for historical accuracy. I could see, like, Dan dropping down and not touching the laser ground and like, slowly making his way to the glass. That would.

[Dan Reichert]

No, I do the Catherine Zeta Jones laser style.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah. Like the splits and you look so hot and you're like. You're just like barely getting through.

[Mike Mahardy]

That's not.

[Mary Kish]

Not.

[Mike Mahardy]

She doesn't do that in the movie. It's.

[Dan Reichert]

And you're like, oh, yeah, she does. She does.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

You're like. You're doing the smoke. See the lasers and yeah. You use your. Now to just borrow from Batman. You, like, have the Catwoman claws and you make a perfect circle out of the glass and you take out the original. It doesn't.

[Dan Reichert]

Fill the shower patches.

[Mary Kish]

The very first one ever made, and.

[Mike Mahardy]

You replace it with a bag of sand that's weighs the same exact.

[Dan Reichert]

Of course. Yeah. Okay.

[Mary Kish]

We're borrowing. Well considered from every movie, but this.

[Mike Mahardy]

Sounds like the perfect crime. Where does. Where does he go wrong? That gets him arrested.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah. I mean, I think that once he gets it and he likes, he leaves.

[Mike Mahardy]

And forgot the whole thing.

[Dan Reichert]

And I brag on a podcast about it.

[Mary Kish]

And then he went through all over him. Yeah, he's got. He's got the evidence everywhere.

[Mike Mahardy]

He's at the security line in the airport and they find this one of a kind unique candy bar in his bag. He's like, oh, forgot I had stolen this.

[Mary Kish]

My whatchamacallit.

[Dan Reichert]

I'm on the straight and narrow. They can't pin nothing on me.

[Mary Kish]

I think that they'll also get Dan for looking at pervy games. I think that one day they're gonna catch you.

[Dan Reichert]

And I will blame Mary in court and I'll say, like she told me to it for our.

[Mary Kish]

I didn't know that panty sniffer RPG 3000 was bad.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah.

[Dan Reichert]

I didn't. Tell me that Dan.

[Mike Mahardy]

I could actually see Dan. You would get arrested because you didn't know something was illegal.

[Dan Reichert]

I could see that.

[Mike Mahardy]

And you did it right in front of several police officers.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah.

[Mike Mahardy]

I just don't know what that thing would be. But I could see you feigning or.

[Mary Kish]

Not shooting two guns in the air.

[Mike Mahardy]

You would be like, I didn't know this was illegal. They're like, it's still illegal, actually.

[Dan Reichert]

You know what the likely thing is, is, like, when I want to be somewhere that you can't, like, get in easily or whatever, I always will. I'll just walk straight in. I've tried sneak backstage when I was a teenager at so many different WWE events, stuff like that. So like that at msg. Oh, you saw me do that at Madison Square Garden. Yeah. Something like talking about.

[Mike Mahardy]

This is one of my favorite Dan stories. Have we talked about? We must have. At some point. Like, a while ago, Dan and I went to. It was the Dan. Correct me if I'm wrong, before I worked there. Correct. This was like, 2019, 2000. Yeah, 2019.

[Mary Kish]

You're lucky they didn't put you on a list.

[Mike Mahardy]

It was the first time, I believe, Stone Cold was back at MSG in a while.

[Dan Reichert]

It was like a special.

[Mike Mahardy]

And we went and we watched it. And then we were backstage because a friend of our, Broadway Alex, knew several people that were helping with the broadcast. And basically, we got ro. We got. We were walking out with Broadway Alex and a few people to the street. Didn't realize we were leaving the backstage. And Dan was, of course, geeking out because he's a big fan of a lot of these people that are hanging around. And again, he hadn't worked there yet, so there was, you know, it's like.

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, my God, Stone Cold Triple H. Yeah.

[Mike Mahardy]

And even I was. It was, like, cool for them to be in their vicinity. And then we didn't really realize we were leaving. We were kind of in a conversation that was naturally walking toward an elevator. And then we were on the elevator. Oh, shit, we're. We're leaving. We were just backstage. Now we're gone. So, of course, Broadway Alex and. And. And his friend at the time leave, and me and Dan are just waiting. We're like, well, do we go home? Dan's like, no, I want to get back backstage. And of course, it was an MSG event. So, like, NYPD had been hired. Like, had been. I don't know, contracted. However, it works to be secure Run security around the exterior of msg. When we were backstage, I shit you not, we had met the dude who was, like, in charge of getting us backstage, and his name was Chad. So here I am trying to convince Dan we're not getting back in because we had left drunk. And Dan is telling an NYPD officer who had no idea what the fuck was going. He's like, dude, I was just. I. My job is to guard this door and not let anybody through this little shady no handle door on, like, the west side of msg. And Dan's like, oh, no, no, we're looking for Chad. He. I was like, dan, he doesn't give a. He's not gonna let us back. He's like, oh, we were. Chad was helping us out. He's, you know, Chad. Ask for Chad. The guy's like, I have not been in. I don't care about wrestling. I get off.

[Mary Kish]

I don't know Chad.

[Mike Mahardy]

Two hours. I don't give a gun.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah. My brain is not processing that. I'm not getting my way.

[Mike Mahardy]

I'm like, have I gone in a Chad?

[Mary Kish]

Yes.

[Mike Mahardy]

Chad needs us.

[Dan Reichert]

Just bugging this cop. Yep.

[Mike Mahardy]

He. Yeah, he. This. I. I was so. I. I couldn't tell whether I was suffering secondhand embarrassment or if it was hilarious. It was a little bit of.

[Dan Reichert]

I just tried to just butt my head against something until I get my way. And I just could not realize why. Why is this not working?

[Mike Mahardy]

I. Chad, that would absolutely, I think, be it what we're talking about.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah. I got another one for Dan, which is. Was getting arrested for starting a public fight because he walked in the exit of a bathroom because the entrance has a line. And he walks in the entrance that he doesn't stand in line. And someone finally calls you out on it.

[Mike Mahardy]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Dan Reichert]

But here's the thing. I've heard that it's been a long time since I've done it because I've typically been in the press box, which has a dedicated bathroom, which is amazing. But. But if I were, I would do it again. I would do it again.

[Mary Kish]

I know you would. And I think one day someone's gonna call your number.

[Dan Reichert]

But they do sometimes, and this is how it goes. You start walking in the exit, and you hear someone from down the line be like, hey. And by the time anything can be done, you're already in there pissing.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah. Dan doesn't.

[Dan Reichert]

Wait, what's he gonna do? Skip the line and get in there to beat my ass? No.

[Mike Mahardy]

Oh, God. Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

It'd be funny if you go, there's like a social contract that you're allowed to call someone an asshole for skipping the line, but you don't want to get out of the line, Right?

[Dan Reichert]

He has to get out of line. And then him, like, no, it's, it's.

[Mary Kish]

A. Yeah, you gotta stay.

[Dan Reichert]

It's the perfect crime.

[Mike Mahardy]

What if. But you. What if you run into him on the way out?

[Mary Kish]

The perfect crime is no line. He has to pee.

[Mike Mahardy]

No, you're on the way out and he's in line and you have to walk by him and he reaches.

[Dan Reichert]

He's not gonna get out of line to kick my ass.

[Mike Mahardy]

He has to pee, but you're walking right by him. He doesn't need to leave a spot.

[Dan Reichert]

I, I am just like a shadow in the night. I'm just like, back to my seat. Like, it's just, just. No, it's perfect.

[Mike Mahardy]

Okay. Yeah, I could see that being it too, but.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, Mary, I think that's what a perfect crime means. A perfect crime is like, there's no. It's a victimless crime. There's like, nothing that I wouldn't know.

[Mike Mahardy]

Perfect crime is like, there's literally no way to prove it was you.

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, it's very easy to prove it's me. There's. I'm probably on camera at a million different arenas.

[Mike Mahardy]

Dude. I, I. Someone I know often flies to other cities and kills people and leaves. Just picks a random city. It's someone I know. I don't know.

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, I know who it is.

[Mike Mahardy]

And he leaves and he comes back, back. And no one. There's bodies.

[Mary Kish]

Perfect crime.

[Mike Mahardy]

The bodies are gone.

[Dan Reichert]

Victimless.

[Mike Mahardy]

I, I think, yeah, it's. Well, it's victimful for the victim, but, like, no one cares about this victim.

[Mary Kish]

Outside of the victim. It's victimless.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah, yeah. We're not talking about the victim here.

[Mike Mahardy]

Oh, yeah. I mean, leaving aside the victim, they're dead.

[Mary Kish]

Get over it.

[Dan Reichert]

You're not gonna get any deader. It's fine.

[Mike Mahardy]

Once the victim's dead, it's like they don't. They literally don't exist. So I don't see how they could be a victim anymore because they're just not. Exactly.

[Dan Reichert]

You're making a lot of stuff.

[Mike Mahardy]

My friend does the same internal monologue every time he kills someone. To adjustify.

[Mary Kish]

We should be lawyers.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah, that would. That'd be a really strong defense. The victim doesn't give a. He's dead.

[Mary Kish]

I call to the stand the person who was murdered. Oh, they didn't show up.

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, must not have been that bad.

[Mike Mahardy]

Well, if they really wanted to not die, they would have put up more of a fight and not died.

[Dan Reichert]

Yeah, simple to me.

[Mike Mahardy]

The pedant lawyer. Yeah, I don't. I don't.

[Dan Reichert]

Who.

[Mike Mahardy]

I think Mary is the most likely to get arrested.

[Dan Reichert]

I was going to say that, too. Yes, Mary. It's not an attack. It's just that I think that's realistic.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

I reluctantly accept this award. Thank you.

[Mike Mahardy]

Well, thank you, Morgan from New Orleans Morelands. Well, that's our show. Those are the emails.

[Mary Kish]

Thank you.

[Mike Mahardy]

Daytime recording. One of the rare ones. Yes, I think we could.

[Dan Reichert]

I mean, it's not official yet because we haven't recorded it, but the plan is we are actually going to do a little recording here. Maybe right after.

[Mike Mahardy]

I think so. Yeah, we'll. We'll promote that on our channels.

[Dan Reichert]

If we do keep an eye on the. On the Patreon, we'll definitely have the. The warhammer stuff. And then maybe a little bonus.

[Mike Mahardy]

There's. There's two episodes up on Firescape of Vinnie and Mike. Save the World. And I believe the second episode of Vinnie and Destroy the World is up as of today, the 24th. March 24th. If you haven't watched it, and if you're not a Nexlander subscriber, Patron, go subscribe. We also have merch at Firescape Merch. Fire escape cast merch.

[Dan Reichert]

We never know. Is it deep dish pussy?

[Mike Mahardy]

No, Deep dish pussy is our patreon.

[Dan Reichert]

Oh, right, yeah.

[Mike Mahardy]

Fire escape.

[Mary Kish]

Stop buying URLs. We can remember them.

[Mike Mahardy]

I have very interesting conversations with our accountants come tax season.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, we bought that at a loss.

[Mike Mahardy]

It's not fire.

[Mary Kish]

Write that off. Write that off, we say to our tax guy right off.

[Mike Mahardy]

Deep dishwashy.com Escape Cast merch. Okay, just search Fire Escape on fourth wall. You can get some sick bikinis, tie dye shirts. God, that bikini is so sick. Get some. Oh, you can get. You can get a fucking about the author tank top. You get some banana yellow banana hammock trunks. Those aren't banana hammocks. You can get some water bottles, some hoodies.

[Mary Kish]

Anything's banana hammer if you want it to be.

[Mike Mahardy]

I want these coasters. Why the fuck aren't people telling me about these coasters? More. Send photo. Buy these coasters. The mouse pads. Not the about the author one. I'll freak out.

[Dan Reichert]

That one.

[Mike Mahardy]

Get that. Oh, dorky Christmas beanie. That's sick.

[Dan Reichert]

Tis the season.

[Mike Mahardy]

Tis the season. Yeah, there's a. I think we got a vibrator somewhere.

[Mary Kish]

Most wonderful time of the year.

[Mike Mahardy]

So go buy stuff there. We're over at on Patreon if you want to get some ad free episodes or you want to watch video Mike save the world or just get video versions of the episodes you can go over. We got several tiers. Or if you just appreciate what we do and want to treat like a tip jar, we are over@deep dishpussy.com and we'll be back in a couple weeks. Dan, what do you have going on in the meantime?

[Dan Reichert]

Lots of Giant Bomb stuff going on the power block every day. We're streaming for like four, five, six hours a day. So just check out Giant Bomb or Gamespot on Twitch and YouTube. We're streaming a lot of fun stuff about to make Jeff Grubb start playing the game Overblood for Blight Club. So keep an eye out.

[Mike Mahardy]

Mary, what about you?

[Mary Kish]

I stream on Mondays. That's how I found some of these sick games that I talked about on this epi. So if you want to see me play them before I talk about them, check out my. My Twitch so you can watch me stream these games that I like so much or don't like.

[Mike Mahardy]

Sick. What about you?

[Mary Kish]

What are you doing?

[Mike Mahardy]

I.

[Mary Kish]

What are you doing?

[Mike Mahardy]

Wise games? Wise. Nothing. I'm. I'm. I got a wine test coming up. Can't really follow me there though. No, I mean, you could. Yeah, not. I'm just. I'm here. That's. And that's good enough for me. I know you two. You need your popularity and your. Your.

[Mary Kish]

Look how popular I am. What a sick, burned.

[Mike Mahardy]

I can't pay attention to cuttings. I'm popular. I got my PS2 out. I collect hardware. That is Minneapolis.

[Mary Kish]

It's the best city in the world.

[Dan Reichert]

I mean, I'm not disagreeing with anything.

[Mary Kish]

These are perfect. I can't ask for a more perfect impression.

[Mike Mahardy]

I love Portland. I'm so cool. I love pickles. I love French bulldogs. My house is sick. My neighborhood is sweet. I've got a neighbor. I've got a neighbor who raises robots.

[Mary Kish]

I have a phone as if they were his own.

[Mike Mahardy]

I've got a phone at the bottom of the Willamette and it's pronounced Willamette. Damn it. It's sweet here. I. It's the best city in the world. I'm into cozy games.

[Mary Kish]

One time I. I forget the context, but you said that my phone was at the bottom of the Willamette and that's a shame because I have so many texts on it because I. I'm so popular and I still hadn't got my phone back. And I was like, I probably do have a lot of unreads on that phone.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah, it's probably still there. It probably hasn't run out of juice yet.

[Mary Kish]

To this day, there is a fish swimming by my phone at the bottom of that river. And it is sad. Cause that is a perfect, in good condition iPhone in a perfect waterproof bag. It's going to be there for a long time.

[Mike Mahardy]

Just FaceTime with a fucking barracuda. I don't think there are barracudas in the Willamette, but I don't. I'd be concerning if there are piranha in the river running through Portland.

[Mary Kish]

There's barely fish in there. It's pretty polluted.

[Mike Mahardy]

Well, everybody, thank you for joining. We will be back in a couple of weeks. The new episode. In the meantime, go to our Patreon. Watch that stuff.

[Dan Reichert]

I'm giving you two a homework assignment for that embargoed game that I want to talk about next.

[Mary Kish]

Oh, okay.

[Mike Mahardy]

Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

Heard.

[Dan Reichert]

Wonder if the embargo will even be up by the time that comes out. Yes, it'll be the day. I think the embargo is that day. No. Yep. Yep. Okay, we're good.

[Mike Mahardy]

What time?

[Dan Reichert]

We'll have to take a look at that. I don't know. But yes, there's a game I want to talk to you too about.

[Mike Mahardy]

We can delay the episode a few hours if we need to. We'll be back. All right, see you then.

[Mary Kish]

Bye.